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FALL/WINTER 2015 ISSUE VOLUME 1
ag e7 !
IN SI DE :
owner, WriteLaughDream.com
ichoosetowin.com
#ichoose win TO
Photo Credit: Ashlee Douglas, AED Photography
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Ch ec ko ut ou r
MEET ASHLEY COLEMAN
women living victoriously
HER LIFE: A BEAUTIFUL STRUGGLE | HOW WRITING, LAUGHING & DREAMING BECAME A WAY OF LIFE | LET’S INFLUENCE ACTION!
@ichoosewinning @ichoosetowin I Choose To Win
WHO WE ARE
MEETOURTEAM
BETH HENDERSON Editor
I Choose To Win magazine is a publication that showcases, highlights and promotes positive images and stories of young women who are living boldly, bravely and brilliantly for God‘s glory. By unleashing their God-given gifts, these women are enjoying the fullness of life and inviting others to do the same. Comprised of interviews, motivational messages, spiritual food, advice and announcements, this publication serves to edify, empower and equip our readers who also Choose To Win in life!
FEATURE STORIES & INTERVIEWS
TIPS AND TIDBITS
Inspiring, motivating and uplifting stories promote positive images of everyday women who are boldly, bravely and brilliantly using their God-given gifts. Know someone who should be featured? Have your own story? Submit it.
Fresh ideas, relevant insight, special tips and helpful tidbits are prepared to assist readers who are seeking practical application. Have a tip or a tidbit our readers should consider? We love to hear from our readers. Make your voice heard. Submit it.
SPIRITUAL & INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGES
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Spiritual food is found in the Word. Our inclusion of scriptures, quotes, sayings serve as sweet reminders and an additional resource for inspired thinking.
Any special dates, events or relevant news will be announced for our readers.
CONTACT US For advertising, story submissions, opinions, subscription inquiries, email melonie@ichoosetowin.org. For all written correspondence, I Choose To Win c/o Melonie Butler, P.O. Box 613 Fort Washington, PA 19034. Visit us online at www.ichoosetowin.com to let us know how you choose to win. 2 | #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015
MELONIE BUTLER Founder & Writer
Photo Credit: Candids by Candy Photography
ichoosetowin.org
FEATURING:
TO
#ichoose win
everyday women who are winning in life . . .
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32
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Ashley Coleman Writer & Entrepreneur
Felicia Harris Community Activist
Andrea Walker Author & Philanthropist
Julia Swack Victor Over Cancer
Bergj Matthews Equestrian Rider
Ambitious entrepreneur is making a living based on her own convictions: writing, laughing and dreaming. And she invites others to do the same. How she made this a career? View page 4.
One of Philly‘s movers and shakers in the millennial community, this young woman is working to reverse the ills of apathy and disengagement in local communities by influencing action. P.14.
Author of A Beautiful Struggle, opens up about the difficulty of growing up with a mom who was HIV+. Today she has a story and a purpose that came from that hardship. Read more on page 28.
Cancer survivor with a sense of renewed purpose reveals how her bout with a very rare cancer sparked a new appreciation for her strength and fortitude, which birthed a new life mission. See page 32.
A trailblazing African American female opens up about her trials and triumphs in the equestrian community as she pursued a path uniqely designed for her. Flip to page 36.
Photo Credit: Ashlee Douglas, AED Photography
FEATURE STORY | ASHLEY COLEMAN
Unapologetically Me: Ashley Coleman
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f her smile doesn’t give you life, her story certainly will. Meet Ashley Coleman, owner of WriteLaughDream.com, founder of the online social community boldbrownbeautiful.com, and author of her self-published book, Dear Love. Hers is a voice that will be heard. So, listen up.
t the age of 29, author and entrepreneur, Ashley Coleman is a woman who knows she has purpose and significance. Unafraid to tell accounts from her life, she does so with candor, transparency and honesty, which is quite refreshing. As a new believer in Christ, her perspective is one that is uniquely hers, though many can relate to the experiences of her writings. She shares openly about the truths she uncovers, her responses to them and the revelations they produce within her. In her blog, entitled Journey of a Non-Believer (Journey of a NB), the millennial woman serves up fresh bread (spiritual bread, that is) on life. God is undoubtedly using her for His glory. In addition to that, she has ventured into authorship and entrepreneurship, which are aligned with her personal journey of faith and freedom. Looking at her picture above and reading her writings, one could assume she is experiencing the freedom to write, laugh and dream in color. And, as such, she has created a platform where she gets to do what she is passionate about while marrying it with revenue generation, or shall we say making a living. In its infancy stage, she maintains full-time employment while experiencing the fullness of life, being unapologetically Ashley, in her part-time ventures. 4 | #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015
FEATURE STORY | WRITE LAUGH DREAM
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I am adamant about being free. Not bound by money, jobs, or social status.
rapped tightly and confidently in a vibrant package, Ashley Coleman, at the age of 21, learned by way of college all that was actually possible, so she chose not to settle for the traditional or ordinary list of available occupations to which many of her peers gravitated. She figured if she must work to earn a living, then she would do what she loved and make it profitable. o this talented entrepreneur, a winning life is defined as one of peace and freedom. Her peace, as she describes, comes from God and being able to hear from Him in a way that helps guide her to His purpose for her life. Her freedom, she explains is, “not being bound by money, jobs, social status or anything like that. I am adamant about being free. My freedom is so important to me.” Ashley ensured no one gets it twisted. hen asked about her vision for her life and the action steps required to
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go from dreaming of a future to building her future, the ambitious woman of God said this: “It was 2014. I released my book, Dear Love. It was the first time I saw what could be possible if I buckled down and focused. It started as an idea, but I worked hard to finish it.” For the published author, it was an eye-opening experience and reminder that what lives inside must come out. “Action is what separates those who do from those who watch others do,“ she said. The book represented action steps she had taken and the evidence of her hard work. From there she began hosting events, facilitating workshops, blogging more consistently and getting her business in order. ftentimes, in pursuit of the dream, discouragement can rear its ugly head. When asked how she handles it, Ms. Coleman expressed, “Most times, I am only discouraged when I am comparing my life to others, which we all know is silly.“ To avoid this from occuring, she says, “I try and limit my social media intake and focus on my own path. I like to set my mind on my growth, how
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far I’ve come and how many times God has come through for me in the past.” She recited the words of Tye Tribbett‘s song, “if He did it before, He will do it again.“ nderstanding her faith in God is relatively new, the engaged, soon-to-be married Ashley shared a brave, pivotal moment where her relationship with Christ went from nonexistent to essential. “I was doing things in my own strength, then things began leading me to Christ. During that time, I had such important decisions to make that could result in losing people very close to me. I chose God no matter the outcome. And those people disappeared. As much as it hurt then, I know I am better for it. He is calling me and I can‘t ignore His call. I learned how brave I was when I let go of what I knew and followed Him.“ ith a strong resolve to lead her best life possible, the Dear Love queen shared
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her personal mission statement, which she summarized as this: ”I will be dedicated to who I am outside of what I do. I will finish the things that I start and focus on my own journey. I was made to encourage and that will be apparent through every part of my purpose.“ peaking of purpose, the encourager that resides inside Ms. Coleman decided to create an online community for young women of color. Her favorite quote by Melody Ehsani is, ”Stop waiting to be who you already are!“ Much like the message of the quote, the social network, boldbrownbeautiful.com is a blog site that challenges African American women to define beauty for themselves. s someone who would do her own thing - personally and professionally - Ashley had to grow very comfortable in who she was. Without apologies, the writer explains, ”Unapologetically Me means embracing the fullness of who I am, flaws and all. So many times we are worried about what we don‘t have, what we don‘t do right. But the wholeness of being a woman is loving the not so pretty parts of ourselves as well. Unapologetically Me is simply saying, this is me, I am who I am and I will be transformed into who God calls me to be.“ - MB
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If you‘d like to write, laugh and dream in color, consider taking a workshop or checking out her websites for more information: - writelaughdream.com - boldbrownbeautiful.com
”I
was created. I am not here by happenstance or accident. God made me to fulfill a purpose in the Earth and to impact the lives of others. With that, I have no choice but to complete the assignment. This is why in life, I choose to win!” - Ashley Coleman
6 | #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015
Photo Credit: Ashlee Douglas, AED Photography
(Continued from page 5)
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Create your own, customized I CHOOSE TO WIN statement. Then share it with the world . . . and with us :-)! #ichoosetowin
@ichoosewinning @ichoosetowin I Choose To Win
Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 7
2015 January February February March March March April April April May June July August September September October October November November December
Website & Social Launch Bonefish Grill Meet-Up Giving Campaign Launch Panelist at Temple University ICTW Interest Meeting 3-Day Weekend Retreat Panelist @ Penn State Abington Workshop @ Queens University Magazine Launch - 1st Issue Volunteer Meet-Up Magazine - 2nd Issue Winning Workshop #1 Winning Workshop4Women #2 Attended WIM Philly Event Workshop @ MBF Virtuous Guest on WURD Radio Show Speaker @ Breast Cancer Expo Web App Launch Magazine - 3rd Issue I Choose To Win Video Shoot
ichoosetowin.com
an amazing JOURNEY: THANK YOU! by Melonie Butler
Last year, November 2014, I was faced with a decision, a choice rather: continue to dream about the future, or create the future I saw in my dreams. I had wonderful dreams of the future, so I chose the latter. Here‘s my truth. I sought to embark upon a God-given vision I had, by way of a dream. In the vision, women of all ages were captivated with the messaging given for I Choose To Win. Women who were long-time Christ followers began believing again with renewed vigor and trust. The vivid picture showed younger women professing their love for God, understanding their need for Him and utilizing their gifts for His glory. In my glimpse into the future, there was a magazine featuring these women and their stories. An online nationwide campaign of young women changing their minds about themselves, recognizing they are childen of God, fearfully and wonderfully made, intentional and capable of so much more than they allowed. I envisioned women saying “yes” to their inner voice. Women were genuinely loving themselves and others with compassion. I witnessed
a movement of personal convictions in favor of victorious living, women who were choosing to win. Knowing the effort would be blessed if I committed to this God-given vision, I chose to be obedient to the call in order to realize it fully. I drafted an email to those I knew and loved, sharing my passion, or calling, and announced my decision to pursue the I Choose To Win vision. I was met with great support. But, the thing that bothered me most was a personal sense of responsibility for the vision, or so I felt. In the words of Erica Campbell, I luh God, but I was struggling with it because it seemed too large a task for lil ole‘ me. God reminded me of the biblical truth, “I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I chose to stand on it, trust God and let Him strengthen me as I took action. One foot in front of the other, I exercised faith and built momentum. Volunteers and supporters showed up. Here we are, November 2015, one-year later releasing the third issue of the magazine featuring women who love God and are impacting the world, and launching an online campaign for women to speak victory over their lives. In Him, I stay amazed. In all things “to God be the glory!” Amen. Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 9
TIPS & TIDBITS | AN INSIDE LOOK INTO I CHOOSE TO WIN
ANINSIDELOOK!
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Choose To Win Is a program whose mission is to motivate and inspire a generation of young women to walk boldly, brightly and brilliantly in their God-given gifts – contributing in unique ways to impact the world in which we live. This is what we’ve coined as “winning.”
ORGANIZATION
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non-profit organization providing motivational and inspirational messaging and programming for the edification, empowerment and equipment of young women on mission to win in life. It offers motivational speaking, uplifting publications, social events and connection (online and in-person).
PROGRAM
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Choose To Win is a program that seeks to motivate and inspire women to walk boldly, brightly and brilliantly in their God-given gifts. Through inspired activities and creative programming, women are able to carve for themselves what a winning life looks like. We facilitate clear decision-making, goal setting, action planning, resource sharing & connection.
MAGAZINE
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he seasonal e-publication is a platform and a voice for women who are on personal journeys to win. It showcases, highlights and promotes positive images and stories of everyday women who are winning. As a tool, the magazine offers practical tips and tidbits, scriptural references and motivational messages to empower and equip readers on their journey.
check out our campaign: 10 | #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015
SOCIAL NETWORK
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nline social networks (including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Linkedin) feature, highlight and profile women as winners. Also a storehouse of advice and information, I Choose To Win social networks deliver online connectivity (mentoring, network building and resource sharing) for offline action, aka winning. It’s women edifying women.
RETREAT & WORKSHOPS
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inning weekends, aka three-day retreat or one-day workshop, are events where young women from diverse backgrounds come together to define what winning means to them. Using creativity as a path for teaching, the program seeks to build confidence, boost esteem, promote connection and mutual edification. In engaging group activities and alone time, individual growth takes place.
CAMPAIGN & MANTRA
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he “I Choose To Win” campaign causes women to see themselves as winners. It is a mantra and a mindset that is adopted and employed by women for its power to be experienced. The statement, I Choose To Win, is a bold declaration of victory. It is a clear announcement of one’s expectation out of life. It’s life-giving! It’s speaking and expecting victory over life’s battles. Check it out: ichoosetowin.com!
www.ichoosetowin.com
Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 11
In life, . . . u o y o ! N I D W O T E S O O H IC
• Love God completely, love yourself correctly and others compassionately? • Trust God and stand on His promises with renewed vigor?
We are not all equal. Not one of us is created the same. With different gifts, purposes, talents and perspectives, each of us was fearfully and wonderfully made: Custom built for the purpose God placed in us. To be effective, we have to unleash our gifts to impact the world for His glory. Now, I ask you, “Win or lose. In life, which do you choose?“ This magazine is a tool used to edify, empower and equip its readers who are also on their journey. Join the movement. In life, choose to win! We just launched an online app to help you share with the world all the ways you choose to win. Visit ichoosetowin.com to create your own victory statement! Let‘s flood social media with positive images of women and their decision, in life, to win!
• See yourself as significant, purposed, and equipped to do what you’ve been called to do? • Look in the mirror and see your true boldness, braveness and brilliance by God’s design? • Want to start taking faith-guided action steps for victorious living? If so, join the movement of women who choose to win! www.ichoosetowin.com
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GO TO: ichoosetowin.com
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ENTER: Your Name & Area You Choose To Win
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UPLOAD: Your Picture
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SHARE: WITH THE WORLD! #ichoosetowin
ichoosetowin.org @ichoosewinning @ichoosetowin I Choose To Win
GO TO: www.ichoosetowin.com
Create your own, customized I CHOOSE TO WIN statement. Then share it with the world . . . and with us :-)! #ichoosetowin Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 13
FEATURE STORY | MEET FELICIA
Unraveling the mystery of me:
journey to discovering my passion
FELICIA HARRIS Community Activist and Co-Founder, Felicia Harris, 28, shares her personal journey of career highs and lows before discovering her Godgiven gifts. Now, operating in them, she has become an impact player in Philadelphia‘s millennial community. Pictured (from l to r): Shatara Hook, Board Chair; Felicia Harris, President and CEO; and Britney Norman, Vice President and COO of Influencing Action Movement (IAM).
By design, we have been custom-built to achieve a purpose of significance. Throughout life, many of us are on mission to discover our purpose, which may lead to an interesting journey. And every journey leaves a trail of experiences that help to define the gifts, talents, skills and perspectives placed within that will cause us to be effective for God‘s purpose in our lives. Felicia is no exception. As we uncover her journey and the path she took toward self-discovery, look for the similarities - and apply the lessons learned, if applicable. Once His purpose for our lives are revealed, it’s up to us to fulfill it - to unleash our God-given gifts to impact others for His glory. Meet Felicia!
Twenty-eight-year-old mover and shaker, Felicia Harris, is a founder of Influencing Action Movement in the city of Philadelphia. Though she has established herself as a person of significance in Philly’s millennial space, she did not always know this would be her path. A go getter and ambitious woman, Ms. Harris is certainly making her mark in the city of Brotherly love. It wasn’t until Felicia Harris spent a period of time reflecting, praying and trusting God for her next steps did she find her “it,” the area of her passion and giftedness which she would operate in, yielding the success she’s experiencing today. Raised in Philly. Studied in Washington, DC. Worked in New York. Returned to Philly. Having lived in multiple states and fulfilled multiple career roles from real estate, policy and education to internet marketing, the constants in her life were her relationship with God, her commitment to mentor youth and willingness to be actively involved in her community. Whether it was in DC on Howard University‘s campus, or in New York as a licensed realtor, or in Philly as a volunteer mentor, she fit time in to ensure those constants were satisfied while still working full-time, mostly in roles that helped her realize what she didn‘t want to do long-term, but
helped build the skillsets required for what she did. Her experiences revealed her gifts, which she shared include problem solving, encouraging others, influencing action and driving results. Looking back, she learned firsthand the environments that caused her to thrive, the line of work she found fulfilling and the areas she could make an impact for His glory. This, of course, took place after some personal reflection, while living out of state and feeling stuck in a job that she hated. When asked what her sources of strength were, she responded, “my faith in God, my happiness, friends and family.” She prayed about her discontentment. And, in the words of her grandmother, “It’s not a real prayer if you don’t believe it.” So she believed her deliverance was on the way. Contemplating what was next for her career path, she decided to leave and take the advice of her father: return home (Philly) to figure life out. The degreed marketing professional and licensed real estate agent confesses, “I just got to the point where I needed to trust God, because when I surrender and trust in Him, I learn more about me.” Upon returning home to Philadelphia
in her mid-twenties, she became a committee person in the 50th ward under the leadership of Councilwoman Marian B. Tasco. In this role, she recalls working an election in 2011, where she was met with the harsh reality of low voter turnout. It ignited something within her: passion to become a change agent. She initiated campaigns to increase voter engagement, implemented educational programs for subsequent elections, and created a Youth Council. She identified problem after problem, or rather opportunity after opportunity to re-engage the communityat-large and drive constituents to action. She was in her element: solving problems, influencing action, mobilizing communities (continued on page 18)
Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 15
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(continued from page 15)
and building collective interest in the neighborhoods she served. Operating in her gifts, she enjoyed her daily grind, finding both fulfillment and tremendous success in it. Eventually, having available time to mentor youth became more challenging, so she, along with co-founder Nikkia Moss, used the internet as an avenue to create an online mentoring community. Phillygirltalk.com, which was quickly followed by Phillyguytalk.com. These forums took off and became hot destination websites for young people to seek and give peer-to-peer advice while prompting action in the areas of socio-economic concerns, education, and professional development. The success of her mentor blog sites eventually transitioned into one organization, now known as the Influencing Action Movement (IAM), a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization serving the city of Philadelphia by engaging young people and influencing action. Offering mentoring, programs and services, 18 | #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015
engagement and opinion forums, the organization is creating traction with young voters, creating opportunities for them to take a stand on issues and have their voices heard. Today, this humble woman of God has accomplished far more than will be shared in this article, however feel free to check out the website: influencingaction.org, as this story is mostly about her journey of choices and her decision to say yes to her gifts. She let God show her what she‘s made of - and now she is showing the world. In closing, Felicia‘s challenge to young women is this: “Open your mind to see what’s inside. You must be true to yourself, which requires knowing who you are. Define yourself for yourself. Spend time with yourself – and look to God, who will reveal the true potential that lives in you.” - MB
Felicia Harris, President & CEO Influencing Action Movement
REMINDER TO SELF: (things I had to learn for myself on my journey)
- Be true to myself - Listen to my inner voice - Don’t compare myself to others - Let God govern my heart, mind and actions - Journaling, praying and worshipping keep me centered and balanced - Make time for me to have fun - Keep a few cheerleaders in my corner for encouragement when I need it
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Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Colossians 3:23
Jeremiah 29:11
A man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?
Stand on His promises. Trust His word as Truth. Believe He will do as He says. Obey His Commands. Walk in Faith.
Proverbs 20:24 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
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A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men. Proverbs 18:16
We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37
I’M DONE.
SECOND GUESSING MYSELF. WANTING MORE & ACCEPTING LESS. FEELING INADEQUATE. HOLDING GRUDGES. BEING
MEDIOCRE. THINKING SMALL. TRYING TO FIT IN.
WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO STEP UP. NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF.
LIVING COMPLACENTLY. PROCRASTINATING. WONDERING WHAT “IF” & DOING NOTHING TO FIND OUT. SEEKING APPROVAL FROM OTHERS. PLACING MY VALUE IN MEN & MATERIAL POSSESSIONS. FEEDING MYSELF PESSIMISTIC THOUGHTS. SHRINKING. IGNORING MY INNER VOICE. PEOPLE PLEASING. REMAINING A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES. WITHHOLDING LOVE & AFFECTION. SAYING & BELIEVING “I CAN’T.”
DELAYING MY HOPES & DREAMS.
BEING SELFISH. BLAMING OTHERS. DOING THE BARE MINIMUM. GIVING EXCUSES. SUPPRESSING MY PASSIONS. LETTING PRIDE GET IN THE WAY OF GROWTH. LIVING IN MY COMFORT ZONE. WORKING HARD AND ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING OF TRUE VALUE.
I’M READY TO LIVE MY BEST LIFE.
In life,
!
Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 21
e ob t e s
In
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o cho I , life
I Choose to . . . Laugh out loud. Smile just because. Share my story without apology. Thrive. Walk in my purpose. Unleash my gifts to impact the world. Let the world know who I am by God’s design. Trust His word. Stand on God’s promises and live victoriously for His glory! How do you choose to win? Tell us at ichoosetowin.com 22 | #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015
ichoosetowin.org @ichoosewinning @ichoosetowin I Choose To Win
TIPS & TIDBITS | Choice. Attitude. Action.
ATTITUDE
CHOICE
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he moment you realize that winning and losing are not only outcomes, but more importantly choices, that is the moment you’re confronted with the decision - to choose! Once you choose to win, you will develop the will to win, which is the equivalent of a refusal to lose. It’s no longer a mindset that says, “I think I can,” yours becomes a mindset that asks, “what if?” And does what it takes to find out. Don’t take my word for it - choose for yourself, to win.
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he will to win in is accompanied by a winning attitude - one that hopes, expects and anticipates the desired outcome of your vision. The attitude that is focused on the completion of tasks generates excitement and builds positive energy. You will know you are on the journey to win when your thoughts are incredibly optimistic, welcoming and encouraging - even in the face of obstacles. Let’s not forget the enthusiasm you will possess - and that smile!
ACTION
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he choice, the will, the attitude, are accompanied by action. Action, then more action, and even more action are essential to “winning!” It’s in the action steps that your conviction and faith are tested and fully developed. Over and over again, upon the completion of each small task, you experience what we’ve casually coined: winning. Winning is continuous. As long as you are moving forward, you are winning. The glory is truly in the journey to win.
- CHOOSE TO WIN -
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t’s as simple as these three steps: First, choose your win. Next, align your attitude in anticipation of your win. Last, complete the actions required to experience the WIN! Winning is realizing the potential within you for greatness - and letting it play out. With God being your creator, and His purpose revealed in you, it’s truly a matter of will-power, trust and obedience to unleash your God-given gifts for His Glory. We each possess a bit of greatness within us, for God is great, almighty and awesome. We were formed in His image. Individually, we are victorious. Collectively, we are more than conquerors. While the victory is truly His, He lets us live it out. Make up your mind to glorify Him. And in life, you also choose to win.- MB Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 23
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24 | #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015
be
3
ichoosetowin.com
BOLD. BRAVE. BRILLIANT.
BE
BOLD. It is being convinced, convicted and confident in whose you are and the purpose placed in you. It’s being okay with God‘s design and being unapologetic about being exactly who you are. So, unleash your gifts to impact the world. Unravel the mystery of you - find out what He tucked inside when He formed you. Pursue your path. Live on purpose. Do You!
BE
Not because you feel like it. Because you are called to be!
BRAVE. It’s releasing courage in the face of conflict, injustice and undeniable obstacles that appear greater than your known propensity to deal. It’s not knowing the outcome, but doing the “right” thing while you have a chance. It’s standing up for something you believe in, even if you are standing alone. Courage is within you. You must give permission to let it out.
BE
BRILLIANT. It is the shining of your inner spirit that radiates outwardly. It‘s illuminating from within and generously permeating your environment for others to witness. Brilliance brightens the world. It’s knowing and loving God, yourself and others too. One is given the gift of light, which is meant to be given away. Shimmer, Shine, Exude! Go and glow in the Lord.
be
3
BOLD. BRAVE. BRILLIANT.
Not because you feel like it. Because you were created to be!
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ichoosetowin.com
2 ANDREA WALKER
FEATURE STORY | MEET ANDREA
VICTIM VICTOR: MINDSET SHIFT Hurt people oftentimes hurt other people. Bad things do happen to good people. While we know these truths, we also know it’s how we respond to “what happened” that largely shapes who we become. I Choose To Win’s campaign, Victim2Victor:Mindset Shift, seeks to highlight stories of individuals who endured gravely difficult circumstances, but made up their minds to NOT remain victimized by them. Instead, these women set their minds on becoming victors over circumstances – employing vision, faith and action. This is no easy or simple task, so the team at I Choose To Win identifies and interviews women whose stories align with this campaign and ask difficult questions, so you, the reader, may be encouraged, empowered and equipped with motivation and practical steps to help support you in your own journey. Victim2Victor:
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PHOTO CREDIT: GME PHOTOGRAPHY
Meet Andrea Walker, Author, Founder, HIV/AIDS Activist, & Philanthropist Age: 31-year-old single mother of 5 City: Philadelphia, PA Areas of Struggle/Overcoming: Rough Childhood, Family affected by Drugs, Alcohol and HIV/AIDS, Unemployment, Single Motherhood, Domestic Violence Andrea Walker decided these were struggles in her life’s story, but they would not define her – or limit how far she would go. Read On.
Childhood: The child,
Andrea Walker, was deeply and negatively affected growing up in the Germantown section of Philadelphia because her mom was HIV positive. At the time, lack of education and awareness of the disease caused unjust stigmatization, rejection and alienation by those who were afraid of it. Summarizing accounts of her childhood, Andrea stated, “My mother was on drugs, my father was an alcoholic, my family was evading the police, and with all of this going on, we just lived day-to-day and never discussed feelings or emotions. I was always in survival mode.” Andrea’s living situation was very unstable, she attended 3 different high schools and moved more than twelve times in a four year period. At the age of 14, Andrea turned to writing as a means of expressing herself. “I felt like my life was a blueprint of how not to live, so I rebelled from doing everything I saw, hoping that my choices would produce a different outcome for my life. What I was searching for I didn‘t see in my neighborhood or my family, but in my head it was clear. I never knew who I wanted to be, but I always knew the type of woman I wanted to be,“ she revealed. By the age of 17, Andrea had written her first book, but she did not release it. Afraid of being ostracized by her family, she simply turned the page.
Adulthood: he adult, Andrea Walker, single mother-of-five
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children, 3 biological and 2 adopted, found herself beating the odds in life. She was doing well, had a place of her own, a car, a well-paying job - she was prospering according to societal standards. In her career, she held a director-level position in the health care industry. That is, until one day in 2014, when she was let go from her full-time job. In between looking for work, she experienced a tug on her heart, possibly a call from God, to publish her fifteen-year-old book that was shelved. n obedience, she decided to use her newfound time to revisit it. With some editing, tweaking and revisions, the finished novel closely mirrored the events of her personal life. She was turned down a hundred times by publishers. But the tenacity she possesses wouldn‘t let that end there, Andrea decided to self publish. Through days of frustration with publishing and pushing past the fear of familial alienation, she would often recite to herself the importance of her work by stating aloud, “This is so much bigger than you, Andrea.” She rested on that truth – and moved forward to publish it. t the same time, while still looking for employment, Ms. Walker began the process of building iROC, Intelligently Redefining Our Culture (i-roc.org), a 501c(3) nonprofit organization that provides HIV/AIDS awareness, support, resources and testing in the local community. In a period of months, the book and the organization were
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A hard life and a series of tough fights are synonymous to what Author Andrea Walker coined, A Beautiful Struggle in this Tragedy to Triumph novel based on her life story. Support Her. Get your copy on Amazon.
both being established. However, this lengthy period of not having a job while accumulating unpaid bills, her household stability was jeopardized. Unwilling to ask for help or share her burdens with those in her circle, Andrea continued to pretend to be alright while struggling to make ends meet. hree days before her first book signing event, this talented writer was dealing with the hard facts of her current state: unemployment, eviction, car repossession, empty pantry and no imminent solution in sight: she faced an all time low. Yet, her biggest struggle at this time, Pride. Her pride would not allow her to share her plight with those around
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VICTIM VICTOR: MINDSET SHIFT
her, because she had “made it.” She realized that she was losing by letting pride win. After pouring her heart out to a few friends, they responded by lavishing blessings of money, food, clothes and friendship upon her. It swelled her heart with gratitude to receive the generous outpour of love without judgment. As she would explain, pride held her back from experiencing the love and bounty of friendship. Pride was quickly replaced by gratitude. aving survived a rough childhood, financial hardship and an abusive relationship, this founder of an award-winning nonprofit organization is still learning to overcome. This time, the battle is work/life
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balance. In addition to making appearances, book signings, running iROC, fundraising, and growing her platform, she is still a single mom providing for and raising five children. Being present, doing homework, cooking and ensuring her household runs properly are priorities for Andrea. Yet feelings of guilt appear while doing double duty. As Andrea explained, life‘s struggles continue, they‘re just different. oday, she is a thriving adult with the ability to see herself through her youthful eyes, the touring author is witnessing the manifestation of the woman she envisioned in her mind as a child. At peace with her spirit, serving others, and raising her family with the stability she craved as a child, Walker says she can still hear the
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: Andrea, how has God and (faith in Him) impacted your life? A: Once I was stripped of everything; my relationships, things, I grew stronger in the truth of who I was according to His word -vs- who the world expected me to be.
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: As a successful woman today, what do you believe is one of the biggest misconceptions in society? A: Because you grow up in a certain environment, live in a certain household, you‘ll end up like that. Messages like that count people, like me, out before we even begin.
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: With your work within the community through iROC, how did you know it would be so well received? A: iROC was given to me by God. I can‘t take the credit at all. It‘s just my work to do. It is blessed.
whispers of her mother‘s voice saying, “You‘re a winner, Andrea! You can do this!” Grateful to God for revealing Himself to her, building her strength, self-esteem and confidence so she can be her most authentic, open, honest and prideless self. Ms. Walker recalled an encounter with a woman who, after a book signing, approached her. She was so moved by Andrea‘s book character, Azhar Washington, she proceeded to share her entire life story, unveiling personal, very painful accounts that mirrored Azhar‘s confessions. “Moments like that make my difficult journey worth it,“ concluded Andrea. - MB
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VICTIM VICTOR: MINDSET SHIFT
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FEATURE STORY | MEET JULIA
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In Her Words . . .
God has always had an impact on my life. I knew Him at an early age. He is always by my side - I feel Him. Every obstacle that comes my way, God has helped me to tackle them. When I fear, I talk to God and read the Bible. To me, fear is my mind playing tricks on me. Before cancer, I never knew how brave and courageous I really was. To be told I have cancer and deal with it while maintaining my sanity took real strength. Going through chemotherapy, hair loss and a few surgeries made me believe in myself even more. I think I am more brave than ever before. - Julia Swack�
bold.brave.brilliant. Cancer Survivor Shares How Cancer Awakened Her to A New Life Mission
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t was a boxing match that caused her to learn exactly who she was and whose she was. In one corner of the ring, stood a heavyweight, very rare opponent: Cancer.
Julia Swack Victor over Cancer Philadelphia, PA
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n the other corner, stood Julia Swack, 37, of Philadelphia. With a discerning gaze, she looked cancer directly in the face. The two punched gloves. Then, the Jamaican-born woman pulled the inner strength from her mother, Jacinth Douglas, and claimed a victorious stance with both feet planted. With the determination of her great grandmother,
FEATURE STORY |VICTORY OVER CANCER
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“God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers!“
Lucille Manning, she went beast mode and trusted God for the outcome. Gloves out, Julia had cancer dancing around the ring for a little over a year. Cancer pulled out her hair and landed a few body shots. Julia took a few hits, but as in the sport, her coach was in her corner. It was a gruelling bout. Her stamina, endurance, faith and relentless pursuit for victory showed how equipped and prepared she was to be in that ring. After so many rounds, Ms. Swack listened intently as the referee announced the scorecard, which showed a hard-fought battle where Julia landed on top. With God in her corner, Julia Swack won her one-on-one matchup against cancer. To God be the glory! ith both arms raised in the air and a smile on her face, the victorious contender shouted aloud, “God gives His hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.” Continuing in her praise, she exclaimed, “God loves using me. I don’t mind. I am His.” Now that she had won this hard-fought battle, she feels compelled to share her journey with others, mostly younger women who will eventually be forced in the ring with that very same opponent. omeone who defines a winning life as being happy and loved, Julia felt it her personal mission in life to make others happy. Since she was 12 years old, this was her passion. Her fighter spirit is equally matched with her quick-witted sense of humor. Choosing a career path in hospitality proved successful for Julia as she excelled in her roles for an international leader in the hospitality
management industry for over a decade. However, having this experience with cancer, Jules, as she is affectionately known, feels she is being called to help others: “My new mission is to teach young people about cancer, especially in our communities. It’s not talked about enough, yet young people are dying everyday from cancer.” n addition to teaching about cancer, Julia has an important message about self-love she wants young women to grab with both hands. One of the biggest misconceptions society offers is that all women aren’t beautiful. I’m here to tell you it doesn’t matter: your shape, skin color, hair or height - we are all beautiful,” she continues, “We are bold when we are confident. We are brave when
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we break down barriers. We are brilliant when we stand for what we believe.”
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’ve always been comfortable in my skin. I love who I am on the outside and in. Everyday is a blessing and I treat it as such. God, I thank you for loving me so much. I don’t regret the past, because my future looks so bright. Even in the darkest times, I still saw the light. Not sure where I’m going, but I know where I’ve been. Losing is never an option, in this life, I Choose To WIN!” - Julia Swack Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 33
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I learned how to be brave and courageous when my mother died. Her dying left me very broken, hurt and confused. But in what I call the darkest time of my life, I found me! I emerged from that season with the courage to live on purpose.
My acronym for life is: L = Live each day with expectancy. I = I am determined to succeed. F = Failure is progress. E = Excellence is in me.
STEPHANIA SHINE
TAMEKA TURNER
ATLANTA, GA
When I think life, I think victory. So, in life, I choose to win!
DOMINIQUE MANNING PHILADELPHIA, PA
Ever since I was a child, I dreamt of being successful. Growing up, I watched the people I love struggle, whether it was money, lust or love. These hardships helped shape the person I am today. I will continue to push myself and work towards my next goal: college. I will work hard, I will fight because in life, I choose to win.
HOUSTON, TX
FEATURE STORY | MEET BERGJ
j g r Be s w e h t Mat ely mine u q i n u h a pat
Bergj Matthews, pronounced /Ber-Jay/, the 24-year-old Chemist and Equestrian rider (and instructor) from Lansdale, PA, unveils her path to pursue a love of horsebackriding - and the personal growth lessons it taught. Riding was what she wanted, but it would come with some difficulty. Yet, she chose to win! Boldly, bravely and brilliantly doing what she loves, she is sharing her passion with her barn family and her students.
At age 15, she decided to pursue her own path: Horseback Riding. Though she knew she would be the only African American female at the barn, horse shows and equestrian-related activities, she had to move past fear and doubt; fear that she would not be accepted for who she was. And, doubt that she would be seen as good as her peers. Bergj Matthews, now a 24-year-old experienced rider, opens up about how difficult it was saying yes to a path riddled with discomfort and obstacles because of other factors, such as race, gender and socioeconomic position. Explaining how emotionally challenging it was for her, the English rider admitted, “I was afraid of being singled out by my skin color, gender and experience level. I thought people would look at me and immediately see failure. It was a heavy burden to bear.” But Matthews defined a winning life as one that inspires and challenges her peers to think beyond fear and doubt – to do new things and think in different ways. So, when thoughts of quitting came to mind, she had to assess herself, her gifts, and passions and determine who would, in fact, win. “Every time I thought about quitting, I couldn’t. I love horses so much. At the thought of life without horses, I felt like I was giving up a part of myself that I couldn’t live without. So I pushed myself everyday – and got better with each passing day.” Committed to perfecting her craft, she wanted to make friends and be accepted by others who were equally drawn to horses and riding. However, when not always welcomed, the road felt
very lonely. “I wanted so badly to fit in with the other girls that had grown up around horses, but I realized I couldn’t. I was different in so many ways. It took me years to be comfortable with who I was,” explained Bergj. Her mantra to date is “the love of horses knows no age, gender or race.” “There were so many nights I cried out scared and confused about my future and where I belonged,” she shared of her faith in God, “but every time I came to Him with those fears, He blessed me. He has given me strength to connect with others so I could build strong relationships. I can’t help but be thankful for my strength, love and kindness, which have all been from God.” She decided that moving forward was the only choice she had, so she dedicated herself to learning everything about horses and striving to become a better rider. “Because I worked so hard on my skills, people began to notice me. From there, I was able to take on students and horses to train. Now, I have a bigger presence in the equine community than I ever imagined,” Matthews revealed. Giving thanks to her mother, grandmother, horse and barn family, she offers encouragement (below) for others who may be interested in horseback riding, or some other non-traditional path: People are going to tell you over and over you can’t do something. And that will be hard. They will tell you the choices they would make, but that’s just it! Those are THEIR choices. They may not be the right choices for YOU. If you know what you want, it’s up to you to make the best decisions for you and work hard to get it.” - Bergj Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 37
TIPS & TIDBITS |
We All Have One: Share Your Story!
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“Your life is your story. Your journey is what makes you YOU!
Share your story! We all have a story and we all are uniquely made in the image of God. Everyone of us was placed on Earth to share a gift with mankind. What I have is different from what you have and vice versa. Don‘t wish that all your problems would go away; pray that you learn how to solve your problems and teach others what you‘ve learned. Your life is your story. Your journey is what makes you YOU! - Shay Hope, Motivational Speaker
SHAY HOPE
Break the Cycle: Fall in Love with Life Again! Sometimes, I feel like we, as women, do not give ourselves the credit or praise we deserve. We fall into the monotony of life and don‘t live up to our full potential. Now, more than ever, I believe it is time women break the cycle of monotony, fall in love with life - and themselves - and bloom into the bold, brave and brilliant women that we are by design! - Jaimee Swift, Graduate Student
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“It is time that women break the cycle of monotony, fall in love with life . . .
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“Accepting and loving your differences can be a scary thing. But when it is done, brilliance occurs. ERICA BALDWIN
Your Differences: Own it & Love it In today‘s world, it may be difficult for a woman to be bold and brave because that may mean being different. Accepting and loving your differences can be a scary thing, but when it is done brilliance occurs. Be kind to yourself and others. And, be confident. What you have to offer the world is unique and important. Own it and love it. - Erica Baldwin, Motorsports Writer for Pirelli World Challenge
Choose to unleash your God-given gifts and pursue the path He has for you. Ensure your attitude mirrors your expectations. Then, take action. Start ‘doing’ in favor of winning! Share with the world how you choose to win: ichoosetowin.com.
Choice. Attitude. Action.
ichoosetowin.com Fall/Winter 2015 | #ichoosetowin magazine | 39
Take the time to learn who you are by God's design. Understand the gifts He placed in you and wholeheartedly pursue the path God has carved specifically for you. Believe in Him as if He is the truth, because you will find, through life’s experiences, He is. Be obedient to Him and find out more about yourself as you unravel the mystery of you. Love yourself enough to invest in the dreams He gave to you. Fall in love with life, God’s people and all of its blessings. In life, WIN! Melonie Butler, Founder, I Choose To Win
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“I am victorious not because of me,
ichoosetowin.org
but because of Him who lives in me.
| #ichoosetowin magazine | Fall/Winter 2015