Faribault • Northfield • Owatonna • St. Peter • Waseca
Winter 2013
Love
is in the air - and this issue
These Northfield women share a family bond
With You for Life The highly trained OB/GYNs at the Women’s Health Center offer supportive and comprehensive care for women in every stage of life. Whether you’re a mother-to-be, entering middle age or enjoying your golden years, we want to help you live your healthiest life. : Christine Braun, MD : Melanie Dixon, MD
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Why Are We All So Damn Busy?
We have software that types when we speak and the ability to buy everything online in the blink of an eye. Stores are filled with pre-cut veggies and frozen, pre-cooked toast. We can “drive thru” for liquor, drugs & weddings. What are we doing with all the extra time we don’t spend writing checks, licking stamps & using those timeconsuming toasters?! I recently found myself buying pack after pack of new underwear and socks during a time-crunched holiday season. I mean how much time would a load of laundry take? It’s not like I’m going down by the river pounding my clothes on a rock. I don’t even have to pour the detergent into the machine anymore since I switched to those pre-measured “pods.” So where is all my extra time? I decided to do a little research. Apparently the majority of my time each day is spent: • Checking to see if my nose or ears have gotten any bigger. • Looking up old boyfriends on Facebook to make sure their wives aren’t better looking than me. • Checking my bank account to see if I’m overdrawn. • Calling my cell phone so I can figure out where I left it. • Holding my eyebrows up to see how I would look after a brow lift. • Pondering what I will do when the TV show “Hoarders” calls me. • Watching the Home Shopping Network and practicing what a great host I would make because of my vast knowledge of adjectives.
• Checking for whiskers and other scary hormone-related scourges. • Trying to listen to my voice mail and accidentally calling everyone. • Checking my refridge to see if someone went grocery shopping for me. • Watching the Food Network and writing down detailed gourmet recipes I will never make. • Emailing my pals to tell them I can’t see them because my life is so busy. • Watching the “Housewives of Beverly Hills/Atlanta/Orange County/Miami/New York” to see whose breasts are real and who has the best house. • Googling potential cosmetic surgeries. • Bemoaning the fact that I wasn’t sluttier in my youth. • Blowing my nose. • Using the online Urban Dictionary to get current on my street slang in case I join a gang. • Coming home from Target and trying to figure out how I spent $150. • Calling my sisters to ask if I really look 48. • Taking my glasses on and off due to my refusal to get bi-focals. • Coming up with excuses to give my dentist that explain why I don’t have time to floss. • Looking up where the countries are that the kids who work at my coffee shop have been to & I’ve only heard of during the Olympics. • Adjusting the thermostat to accommodate my hot flashes. • Talking baby talk to my sister’s dog. • Wishing I had Velcro stripper pants to save me valuable time dressing & undressing in the bathroom. • Bringing my car in for oil changes and making up stories about the sex lives of the other people waiting in the service area.
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I really need to get a life… — Mary Closner is much too busy and important to do a tagline! Read more at Girlfriends.mn!
Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 3
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where local women turn
Winter 2013
Features
Wellness
8
24 SWOONING IN LOVE. RUINED BY HEARTACHE
ALTERNATIVE LOVE How relationships have changed from the traditional.
How profound emotions affect your body and mind.
12 AMBITIOUS AMY Girlfriends interviews U.S. Senator Amy Klobuchar.
15 WHEN TO SAY YES-OR NO- TO THE DRESS When seeking your perfect bridal gown, remember not all dresses are created equal.
Accessories 3 Play Clothes 6 Covergirls 14 From the Kitchen
20 DRESS YOUR BEST Knowing a few basic rules can help you combat the challenge of dressing your best.
28 Unexpected Caregiver
Girlfriends Wants to Know! What’s your biggest fashion challenge? Email answers to bward@i35targetmedia.com or find us on Facebook! Your answer just might be featured in our next issue!
} Look for your next issue of Girlfriends the week of April 1.
Cover Photo
About Us
Pages 6-7
Volume 5, Issue 2 Copyright © Girlfriends 2013 Published 2013 by: Huckle Media, LLC, 115 W. 5th St., Northfield, MN 55057 / 507-645-1110 Send releases and story ideas to: Jaci Smith at Girlfriends Magazine, jsmith@faribault.com
(Photo by Kelli Wencl)
4 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
Publisher: Lauran Rott Associate Editor: Jaci Smith Staff Writer: Brenda Ward Advertising Consultants: Lauran Rott, Luke Brown, Rachel Ebbers, Mark Nelson, Deb Theisen, Diane Gengler, Jennifer Fisher, Lisa Dwyer, Debbie Ensley, Kristie Biehn Graphic Designer: Ashley Ptacek Photographer: Kelli Wencl
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Family Matters The Thornton women understand the importance of respect in being an in-law By Brenda K.M. Ward Rarely does a week pass without members of the Bill and Merrell Thornton family spending time in each other’s company. It may be that their three grandchildren sleep over while their sons, Paul and Mark, take their wives, Julie and Linda, for an evening out. It may be simply sitting together at a local sporting event. Or it may be that the whole clan meets up for dinner following Sunday Worship Services. The reason for being together isn’t what’s most important; that they want to be together is. “If I am putting steak on the grill, why wouldn’t we call the others and put more steaks on the grill? It’s just what we do,” said Linda.
Merrell also met Linda far before her other son, Mark, ever did. The two had been working together at St. Olaf for several months when Mark mentioned that he had begun dating a woman she knew. The first thing Merrell said when she learned that it was Linda: “How old is she!” – not because she looked old, but because Merrell knew Linda had two children in high school. “I’m not always good at keeping my thoughts to myself,” admitted Merrell with a laugh. From the first surprising introductions to today, the Thornton family of Northfield has grown to include Mark’s wife Linda, along with their daughter, Thyme, Linda’s two children, Nate and Amanda, their son-in-law, Brian, and granddaughters, Olivia and Grace; along with Paul’s wife Julie and their two children, Zach and Marissa.
“We love being together,” said Julie. Choosing to spend plenty of time together isn’t necessarily the norm when it comes to in-laws. For some, just hearing the word “in-law” provokes rising heartbeats and sweaty palms. But the women of the Thornton family have learned to embrace their relationship, for better or for worse, and though they don’t expect perfection, they do share a mutual expectation of respect. The birth of a new family Merrell first met Julie during a University of Minnesota track and field event in which her son, Paul, was an athlete too. Bill said, “Merrell, come here. Look at this outstanding athlete.” Julie was the impressive young woman who ultimately transferred to St. Olaf College where her future father-in-law was to be her coach. By the time she and Paul married, a close relationship with her in-laws had already been formed. “It was fun to get to know Julie as an athlete before knowing there was any connection with our son,” said Merrell. “I liked her right away.” 6 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
While careers moved Paul and Julie away from Northfield for several years, Linda found living near her new family all of these years to be advantageous. “Suddenly we had the opportunity to involve Merrell and Bill in our lives,” Linda said. “I remember sewing Amanda’s college quilt together, going to track meets together, and Merrell and Bill bringing my son Nate to the hospital when Thyme was born. All of those things are so precious. They’ve been an important part of my family growing in complex ways, and it’s been really fun for me to have family nearby to share in the joy of raising my children.” Family matters While living in close proximity carries with it the advantage of seeing each other more readily, there are also complications that naturally arise. “My biggest challenge is that my family is in Wisconsin, so they don’t have any expectations of seeing us other than to be home for holidays,” said Linda. “I’m inclined to spend every holiday with my family. That’s the one thing I
Covergirls
“I think you should want to work on your relationships – that’s how they remain healthy at their core. I have to work on my relationship with Mark too. And you also have to carry a good dose of forgiveness. At a certain point you learn to laugh about the quirkiness in your family and not to worry.” - Linda
have to work at – remembering that spending holidays with the Thornton family is important to them too.”
“It’s really important to keep your eye on the prize,” said Tillson. “These people will be in your life for a very long time. Making efforts to be kind, despite the stress, is huge.”
“Since I have only two sons and no daughters, many times I get shoved away. That’s what it feels like,” said Merrell. “Even though I want more, I have to just be happy with the time we get with them.”
The Thorntons couldn’t agree more.
“I understand that,” said Linda. “There’s no night I sleep better than when all my babies are under my roof. I think that’s your same desire, to have your children close. It is a huge sense of comfort.”
“I think you should want to work on your relationships – that’s how they remain healthy at their core. I have to work on my relationship with Mark too,” said Linda. “And you also have to carry a good dose of forgiveness. At a certain point you learn to laugh about the quirkiness in your family and not to worry.”
“Yes. I also realize the importance of giving you and your families your space,” said Merrell. For Paul and Julie who both have family nearby, they too have had to find balance, making sure time is evenly split with each.
Wisdom of the ages While all in the family have contributed to the camaraderie they’ve created, there is one who had a huge impact in setting the pace for healthy relationships. Though no longer alive, Merrell’s mother Peg was esteemed by everyone in the family.
The Thornton’s key to keeping the peace: respect. Sheri Tillson, licensed independent clinical social worker with Counseling Services of Southern Minnesota in Waseca (www.counseling-services.org), has worked with couples who have struggled to find a peaceful relationship with in-laws. Competition, it seems, can be the biggest culprit. “One of the most common issues is the competition for the non in-law – the wife’s husband, the mom’s son – for his attention, affection, loyalty,” said Tillson. “If grandchildren are involved, sometimes differences about parenting can be an issue.” These are all normal feelings, but it doesn’t mean a struggle needs to ensue each time an issue arises. Till says it’s important to pick your battles. If you don’t want your children to have sugar, for example, yet their grandmother’s strength is baking, would it be OK to let cookies be an exception while at grandma’s house?
“Peg was so wise,” said Linda. “She gave me tips on how to know the Thornton family well and to recognize that there are strong personalities in this family. The women all are smart, strong women. Knowing that about each other is who we are and what we need to appreciate about each other.” “And Peg was opinionated, just like her daughter and grandsons,” said Julie. “Like Peg, we’re raising strong, smart people too.” Understanding personalities within their family and having Peg to look up to has been a key in remembering that if everyone doesn’t agree – it’s OK. If differing opinions surface – that’s perfectly fine. But it doesn’t mean you love each other any less. “You can’t get your feelings hurt,” said Merrell. “A family is a safe place. A place where you can be yourself and speak your mind and know you’ll not be judged.” G
MAKING IT WORK If you’re one of the lucky ones, you may have found that joining a new family has been completely satisfying. However, if you’re met with conflict, Tillson provides ways to works towards healthy dynamics in your relationship. Show respect. You don’t have to be best friends, but try to understand the other’s point of view.
Set clear boundaries. Mom will always be Mom, but her child is now an adult – the roles and boundaries as a mother are now different. Ideally, set those boundaries before you are married. What kind of relationship do you envision with your future in-laws? What problems do you foresee may arise? Early discussion can ward off unnecessary stress.
Pick you battles. If a point of contention arises, decide just how important it is or isn’t. Can you be flexible? Avoid holding your kids hostage. If you find yourself angry at your in-laws bite the bullet – your kids still need time with their grandparents.
Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 7
Alternative Love By Jaci Smith
Blues and country western songwriters would have a field day with some of the latest statistics about marriage and fidelity. According to the latest census figures and the Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends report: • In 1960, 72 percent of those 18 and older were married. In 2010, that number had declined to 51 percent. Since 1985, the marriage rate has dropped by almost a third. • The number of new marriages in the United States between 2009 and 2010 declined 5 percent — that’s in just one year. • The median age of someone entering their first marriage (that’s right, we had to note “first” as well) was 20.3 for women in 1960. In 2010, it was 26.5 years old. • More than half of adults older than 18 say it either is a good thing or makes no difference to them that more unmarried people are living together and raising children together.
• Since 1990, when the Census Bureau first allowed people to designate themselves an “unmarried partner,” the number of people living together has doubled to 6.2 million as of 2008, the latest year for which data is available. • Nearly 4 in 10 Americans say marriage is becoming obsolete, and 70 percent of those who are divorced or widowed say they do not plan to remarry. It seems like a refrain of lonesome woe, but some experts say that it’s really our culture’s evolving attitude toward coupling ourselves to one individual for a lifetime. “What it does bring home to us is that we can no longer pretend that marriage is the central organizing principle of society,” historian Stephanie Coontz told National Public Radio in a story on the Pew Report.
LOVE LIFE Northfielder Britt Ackerman and her significant other celebrated their 12-year anniversary last month, but she isn’t married, nor does she plan to marry her boyfriend at any point in the future.
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Same with Faribault resident Suelaine Krosch, who at 43 has not married nor has any plans to, along with “tons of her friends,” she wrote on Facebook. According to the Pew Center, that resonates. Despite currently living with someone, fully a quarter of adults say they don’t plan to marry. “Married people who are in good marriages are about as happy as you can get, followed immediately by never-married single women 50 years and older who have discovered that, in fact, there are lots of pleasures in singlehood,” said Coontz, who is also author of “Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage.”
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And apparently, lots of benefits for society, too. According to the Council on Contemporary Families, adult unmarried children are more likely to provide practical assistance to parents, spend more time helping out siblings, volunteer more and spend more time on the phone to their parents than their married counterparts. There is even a national Unmarried and Single Americans Week that has been celebrated in September for about 20 years. For Ackerman, the decision not to marry came early in life, when she wondered why she was the one who had to give up her name when she got married. She is the product of a two-parent household growing up. “Although they taught me otherwise, I always wondered if women were somehow inferior if they are gender-expected to sacrifice part of their identity,” Ackerman wrote in an email to Girlfriends. “As a teen I expected I’d get married someday, because everyone does, yet I’d already resolved to keep my last name because it’s MINE. “Later, I came to dislike marriage because I felt I did not need approval from either the government or God in order to be in a relationship.” Emily Meyers-Sargent of Northfield said she and her husband have been together for 10 years and have two children. They had a religious ceremony, but didn’t seek a marriage license from the state — and still don’t have one, although they consider themselves a married couple. None of these women have expressed any regret or feel they’ve missed out on a key cultural “norm,” perhaps suggesting a societal shift. “People who judge me for my decision must do so in private,” Ackerman wrote. “Friends and family members of our generation don’t think that it’s as big of a deal like our parents’ generation thought.” >>>
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Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 9
LOVE MANY Derekmn1 of Lakeville wants to know if you can separate love from lust. Farmboy781 of Owatonna is just looking for fun. Boilerguy of Northfield implores visitors that he “needs some excitement.” Assuming all represent real people —never a guarantee when you’re talking about the Internet — there are 200 men within 20 miles of Northfield who are in a committed relationship but are still looking for “something on the side,” according to AshleyMadison.com, one of the top sites of its kind on the Internet. Here’s how the site works: Women sign up for free. No identities are needed and in fact, are discouraged. Instead, you put in your zip code, the requisite physical characteristics and an avatar if you’d like, and then you can browse among men who’ve indicated an interest in someone of your type. “Type” can just include the physical form, but it can also involve your sexual proclivities, it depends upon how much you’re willing to share. Men can create a profile on the site for free, but in order to have any sort of meaningful interaction they have to buy “credits,” which allow them to send
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messages, emails, photos, etc., to women in whom they have an interest. And while a quick search reveals that at least 30 percent of those 200 men are trolls looking to bag some quick sex, the other 70 percent appear to be something quite different. “Just the same story over and over,” wrote “telrev,” a 41-year-old man from Lakeville. “I’m just a lonely married guy home in the evenings, longing for something more.” Dig deep enough and you’ll find a whole cybersociety of individuals — male and female — who “love” the person that they are with but openly acknowledge needing more. And before you write off this segment as fringe, consider this: Ashley Madison boasts 17.5 million members in 25 countries. In an August 2012 interview with Inc. magazine, Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman said early on he decided the site would be a sociology experiment; that the data his site collects could show real reasons why men and women have affairs. The inevitable conclusion is that perhaps “marriage” was never really intended to be a monogamous, lifelong commitment.
“Lots of people were happy to be against infidelity, but no one was willing and able to be a voice that tries to understand it,” Biderman said. “I though it could be an intelligent conversation.”
In April, the TV news show “20/20” aired a segment called “Strange Arrangements: The New Sex,” which featured interviews with couples and families in polyamorous relationships.
Our culture has not been particularly open (or kind) to alternative lifestyles and that includes alternative views marriage, one reason why infidelity is perhaps becoming more and more prevalent, according to anthropologists and other cultural experts.
“They have a very specialized ethical code,” Dr. Elisabeth Sheff told ABC-TV in the segment. Sheff is a former sociology professor at Georgia State University who has studied people in open relationships for 15 years. “There’s a real ethical basis by which they manage their relationships. In the end they may even be more egalitarian and kinder than those in monogamous relationships ... which are often on auto-pilot.”
In 1972, George and Nena O’Neill wrote the book, “Open Marriage,” which sold more than 1.5 million copies and gave the term its current meaning — couples who pursue long- or short-term sexual and/or emotional relationships with others outside their marriage. Nonetheless, the concept of polyamory has remained on the fringe of society — until lately. Showtime premiered a reality TV series last summer, “Polyamory: Married and Dating,” based on quad of committed individuals. The movie “Savages” featured two men who must rescue the girlfriend they share. Even WebMD.com, a medical advice website founded by a former US Surgeon General, featured a column last year on open relationships.
Sheff estimates that a half-million Americans have open relationships in one form or another. Closer to home, City Pages did an extended series of stories on polyamory in Minnesota last October. The Minnesota Polyamory Network (www.mnpoly.spruz.com) is the best known source to meet others embracing open relationships. According to MNPoly, hundreds of people in Minnesota are members of its loose network.
In the end, it’s apparent love is clearly here to stay, but perhaps the traditional expressions of it are not.
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Ambitious Amy
Meet the everyday woman behind homegrown U.S. Senator Amy Klobuchar By Brenda K.M. Ward If you happen to follow United States Senator Amy Klobuchar on twitter, you’ve probably seen her tweets on the latest happenings in the Minnesota Senate – a day spent with Bill Clinton, a speech presented to the Senate. Yet within the political mix are personal mentions too, like a thoughtful a thank-you to her husband for raking the leaves, or mention of a morning out for pancakes at St. Paul’s Louisiana Café.
Sworn in on Jan. 3 as one of a record 20 female Senators now in the U.S. Senate, Sen. Klobuchar’s tweets represent a real woman with powerful job, a fascinating combination of passionate professionalism and downto-earth realism. Recently, Sen. Klobuchar – Amy – took time out of her busy scheduled to give us a glimpse into how she finds balance in her busy life, and by whom she has been inspired.
I am inspired by the many women I meet every day who are juggling jobs and school and kids and doing it all to support their families. GF: What prompted your decision to go into politics? AK: My daughter Abigail was very sick when she was born, but due to an insurance rule I was forced to leave the hospital after just 24 hours. I knew this was wrong, so I went to the state legislature and fought to get a law passed guaranteeing 48-hour hospital stays for new moms and their babies. It was one of the first laws of its kind in the country. This was a defining moment for me and a big part of my decision to enter public service.
GF: What are some sacrifices you’ve had to make? AK: Like any working parent I have to balance work and family. However, the sacrifices I make are nothing compared to the sacrifices that families in Minnesota and across the country have to make every day. Each year I travel to all 87 counties in Minnesota, and everywhere I go I meet moms and dads who are working so hard to make ends meet and provide for their families. These are the families that I fight for in the Senate.
GF: How has being a U.S. Senator had an impact on family life? AK: Like any family that works to balance jobs and family, we try our best but don’t always get it right. My husband, John, has been a great dad to our daughter, Abigail, and has been very supportive of my work. As for Abigail, she’s been a great sport – including going to numerous parades and pancake breakfasts. I remember when she was young and playing dolls with a friend I overheard her say, “I’m going to have a baby one day like this doll, but you can’t have a family until you’ve run for office!”
GF: What activities do you enjoy when spending time with your friends? AK: I often watch movies with my family (I really liked the “Lincoln” movie) and I love to read. I also enjoy spending time outdoors. Growing up my family didn’t take a vacation that didn’t involve a cabin or a tent. My dad and I used to take a lot of long bike trips together, including one that brought us all the way to Jackson Hole, Wyoming: 1,100 miles in 10 days with all our gear on our bikes and our backs, three flat tires, five angry farm dogs and one tornado. Not unlike your average week in the Senate!
12 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
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COMING SOON GF: How does it feel to be an inspiration to so many women? AK: Every woman can tell a story about another woman who blazed the trail they now follow, who lit a torch and carried it forward. I am inspired by the many women I meet every day who are juggling jobs and school and kids and doing it all to support their families. Less than a century ago women didn’t have the right to vote. Now we’re anchoring the evening news, orbiting the earth, serving on the Supreme Court, and we have a record 20 women serving in the U.S. Senate. And perhaps best of all, I know we’ve raised the bar for younger generations. GF: Who are you inspired by? AK: I learned the values of hard work and dedication from my parents and grandparents. My grandfather worked 1,500 feet underground in an iron ore mine. He saved money in a coffee can in the basement to send my dad to community college. My dad, Jim, was a newspaperman and my mom, Rose, was an elementary school teacher who was still teaching a classroom of thirty second-graders at age seventy. We lost her two years ago, but I still have people come up to me and tell me how lucky they were to have had my mom as a teacher. I bring the values that I learned from my parents and grandparents to my work every day.
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From the Kitchen
Chesapeake Style Crab Cakes Ingredients
10 shallots, minced 1 ounce vegetable oil 13 ounces mayonnaise 2 eggs, beaten 5 ounces spiced mustard 3 tablespoons parsley, chopped 2 bunches (3 tablespoons) chives, minced 1 ¼ teaspoon pepper sauce 2 tablespoons seafood spice 2 pounds crab meat 2 cups bread crumbs Salt and pepper
Directions
Cook the shallots in oil until they are translucent. Mix all of the ingredients together except for the crab, then fold in the crab. Fill a small ring mold with the crab mixture to form a patty and pan fry until they are golden brown on both sides. Serve with a red pepper tartar sauce. For a wine pairing, choose a nice white like Girly Girl Chardonnay out of Columbia Valley, Wash.
Chesapeake Style Crab Cakes recipe is compliments of Chef Ulrich Ettlin of Ettlin’s Ranchero Supper Club in Webster. Tucked away in the small burg of Webster, the Ranchero’s kitchen has operated under the Ettlin family for more than 40 years. The ideas and recipes that Rudy and Ann began their restaurant journey with are still carried on today by their children and families. These traditions have garnered stability to a menu that continues to evolve while offering high quality menu items at affordable prices. Chef Ulrich Ettlin
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14 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
When to Say Yes – – to the Dress
or no
When seeking your perfect bridal gown, remember – not all dresses are created equally By Brenda K.M. Ward
Yards of flowing white silk and delicate chiffon. Fine lace and pearls hand embroidered with intricate detail. Strapless – halter gown. Couture – off the rack. Visions of the perfect bridal gown are seen differently by each bride, but one thing is certain – you want the right fit.
Today, women have more options than ever for finding a wedding dress. Some choose a favored wedding shop at which to buy their gown while others hope to save a few dollars and purchase online or off the clearance rack. Still others have theirs handmade. With an average cost of bridal gowns in our area running from $800 to $1,500 dollars, accessories extra, it is vital to get it right.
ing a poorly made dress to look like a gown fit for a princess can require a lot more time and money than an unsuspecting bride may have bargained for. Low quality fabric, glued on plastic beading, missing or broken garment bags – unfortunately surprises like these are common when ordering online, says Brandt, leaving a bride’s dream gown to become a nightmare.
Still ... surprises do happen.
“You might be saving money by ordering online, but you’re not always getting what you thought you would be, so alterations are required that add to the cost of the dress,” said Brandt.
Kay Brandt, owner of Sew Boutique in St. Peter (www.SewBoutique.biz), has many women come through her doors seeking alterations for their bridal gowns – some requests requiring a degree of magic to be performed during the final hour (those last few pounds just couldn’t be shed) or after receiving an online order that wasn’t quite how it appeared on the iPad screen. While adjusting the hem to proper length or taking in the bust line are fairly common changes, mak-
Even quality store-purchased gowns have become a bit more tricky to alter with five to eight layers of fabric and smaller five-eighths inch seams to work with, but sometimes it is simply unavoidable. “All bridal gowns come in standard sizes, but we’re not standard sized people,” said Brandt.
Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 15
Expanding seams may require additional fabric to be sewn in that can leave visible holes unable to be rubbed out of delicate fabrics like organza or crepe. Some brides-to-be opt for fabric to be sewn into the back panel, created a fashionable look. “The corset look is very in right now, so sometimes it works out wonderfully,” said Brandt. Online buyers – beware! Bridal gowns generally run about a size smaller than a regular dress size, with some couture gowns running even smaller. Each designer has their own sizing chart – a good tip to be aware of, especially if you are buying online without the option to try it on.
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Size aside, like Brandt, Julie Larson, owner of Inspire Bridal Boutique in St. Peter (www.InspireBridalBoutique.com) says brides-to-be should be cautious when buying through online retailers. Larson says the majority of makers of bridal gowns contract with retail shops only, not allowing their product to be sold online. Still, some online retailers claim a designer name on their dresses as if they are selling the “real” deal. You may end up with a very different dress than intended with low-end fabric, missing boning or even a different design entirely.
“IF AN ONLINE STORE IS SELLING A $1,200 DRESS FOR $200, IT’S A RED FLAG,” SAID LARSON. “THE MATERIAL ALONE WOULD COST MORE THAN $200.”
Larson says that if you want to be budget friendly you can still buy a quality dress that is simple in design, then have accessories added. “A simple beaded belt can really change the look of a gown,” said Larson. When to say yes to the dress Finding the right bridal gown should be a delightful experience. Larson and Brandt offer the advice for those about to say “I do.” Look for quality customer service. Buying a wedding dress is a big deal. You want to be comfortable with the person helping you with this decision. Visit various shops and pay attention to the level of service provided.
Then there’s the cost of shipping and more than likely alterations too, ultimately making this “ affordable” option a risky undertaking.
Find a style that flatters you. Try on several looks, even if you don’t consider it “your” style. Larson says the comment she most often hears from brides-to-be is, ‘I never thought I’d like this style, but I love it!’
“You just don’t know what you’re going to get,” said Larson. “If you get an inferior product, how much time do you have to resolve the issue? It’s such a big day – it is better to shop around and find what you really want.”
Go for quality. Whether choosing fabric or accoutrements, be hands-on. Feel the fabric, look closely at how the beads appear under the light.
A Night2ndtoAnnual Remember Charity Gala Enjoy a night of pampering your A relaxing and classy evening for with you and yourGirlfriends! girlfriends. Dress updressed in your favorite cocktail for aattire. classyEnjoy evening Come up in your favoriteattire cocktail a benefiting “Juvenile Research Foundation” night of pampering, funDiabetes and prizes! All proceeds this year
A Night to Remember Friday, March 15th, 2013 2nd Annual Charity Gala will benefit “Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation”
Owatonna Country Club • 7pm-midnight Tickets: $25 in Advance & $30 At The Door Buy tickets online at this year night of pampering, fun and prizes! All proceeds
Have a story idea? We’d love to hear it! Email ideas to Brenda Ward, at bward@i35targetmedia.com
Wine Stations Coffee Bar Dessert Bar relaxing and classyNia evening for you and your girlfriends.Station How toAStations Technique Massage Come dressed upScavenger in your favorite cocktail attire. And EnjoyMore a Entertainment Hunt will benefit “Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation” night2remember.ticketbud.com/a-night-to-remember Friday, March 15th, 2012 Wine Stations Bar Dessert Bar 7:00pm - Midnight Make your dayNiaCoffee perfect withMassage How to Stations Technique Station Entertainment Scavenger Hunt Club And More Owatonna Country 1991 Lemond RoadMarch - Owatonna, Friday, 15th, 2012Minnesota
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Admission: $25.00 in advance or $30.00 at the door. Owatonna Club Contact Thea with The PerfectCountry Day Cakes to order your tickets. 1991 or Lemond Road - Owatonna, Minnesota (507) 455-2253 (952) 956-4222 or Thea@PerfectDayCakes.com. Order online at www.night2remember.ticketbud.com Admission: $25.00 in advance or $30.00 at the door. *Admission is limited. Contact Thea with The Perfect Day Cakes to order your tickets. (507) 455-2253 or (952) 956-4222 or Thea@PerfectDayCakes.com. ForOrder more information on Juvenile Diabetes visit www.jdrf.org online at www.night2remember.ticketbud.com
where local women turn
www.girlfriends.mn
Discuss alterations with a seamstress. Most likely, the bottom hem will need some altering, but it can be tricky, especially if the bottom is made of lace or has several layers of fabric. Find out ahead of time the cost and feasibility of alterations. Bring friends – but not too many. Having two to four companions to share opinions can be very helpful. But, make sure you ultimately choose what you love. Always go bigger. First, find a good fit through the waist. When it comes to the bust line, bigger is better. You need to be able to breathe, and alterations are much less noticeable if a dress is taken in rather than added to. G
Readers Chime In When Girlfriends reached out to readers via Facebook to learn how women in our area are buying their gowns, here’s what we learned. Back in October, Becca Rodenborg bought the dress for her August 2013 wedding a size down from her ideal fit. “The spring and summer is when I do my best with diet and exercise, and I fully intend on needing to take the dress in a little bit,” said Rodenborg. Lindsay Haas, on the other hand, opted for greater caution and bought the perfect fit right now in hopes of having to take in the seams come May, should she lose any weight by then. Allison Kim is fortunate enough to have a seamstress for a mother for her madeto-order dress.
Show Your True Colors: Choosing Wedding Day Jewelry Knowing what type of metal will work with your wedding gown’s shade of white is a good way to begin choosing your wedding jewelry.
White Gown: Gold embellishments may clash with this bright white hue. We suggest sticking to pearl and platinum.
Ivory Gown: This candlelight shade is a soft, light white, and some versions even have yellow undertones. Adorn yourself with gold jewelry to highlight the creamy tint of the fabric.
Diamond-white Gown: This barely off-white color works with gold and silver (and rose gold, and pearl — you get the idea). Read more: wedding.theknot.com
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Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 17
Innovative Exilis Therapy Now Available in Mankato
Life’s an Adventure!
For the Woo Hoo Sistas, it’s about savoring the ride By Brenda K.M. Ward
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming, “WOO HOO, what a ride!” Thus, the motto lived by Jeanne Stursa, Connie Markell, Sandy Boss, Lisa Schoeb, Jody Slinger, Jo Sittlow and Beth Borgen. They’re the Woo Hoo Sistas, a group of women from Owatonna, Faribault and beyond, who a few years ago decided to bring adventure to the forefront of life.
Skin Essentials offers Exilis Therapy, the latest advancement in nonsurgical, pain free therapy for reducing fat and contouring the body.
In the summer of 2008 the “Sistas” began what would become an annual weeklong kayaking/camping trip to the Apostle Islands. Their first adventures were guided tours, but these days the women know the waters of the Great Lake well enough to manage on their own, keeping a marine band radio handy while paddling 15-20 miles a day around the islands and through sea caves, stopping to lunch and hike, and finding plenty of reasons to howl with laughter along the way.
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The women didn’t all know one another that first year, but they all shared an enthusiasm for the outdoors and were ready to take on a new challenge. It seems to have worked swimmingly.
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“What’s really neat about this group of women is that we are very cohesive,” said Lisa. “We span 20-plus years in age; it just really works.”
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18 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
Come nighttime, the women camp on the islands, and rustic though it is – tents, outhouses (scented facemasks a must!) and no cell phones – they do manage to create some pretty scrumptious meals: salmon, blueberry pancakes, pizza, chicken alfredo – or chicken soup, depending on whether all of the ingredients were remembered – and even dessert. They also see bears cross their path – “Hey, did you get a picture?” asks Jeanne. They craft door mats for their tents out of rocks and pine cones. They have wood cutting contests. They bob in the water using their upside down lifejackets for a float. They search for sea glass made into jewelry by Connie. They exchange bracelets as a sign of their friendship. They play games, and every now and again even have a serious discussion. As they wrap up the trip, packing kayaks aboard the lime green Woo Hoo trailer, Sandy tracks it all in a journal as a guide to making improvements the following year.
“We’ve really become good friends,” said Sandy, recognizing – as do all of the Woo Hoo Sistas – the value they’ve found in one another. Come winter, the women set off on an expedition together again, though this time for a long weekend and with more fellow travelers. They’ll choose from cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, broomball, and hiking during daytime, while evening is a time for games and “shot ski” around the fire pit. And, what would a winter trip be without a white elephant gift exchange? “We are easily amused,” said Connie, with a laugh. The Woo Hoo Sistas have awakened within them a spirit of shared adventure, encouraging others to do the same. If you’re ready to ramp up the adventure with your pals, read on for further ideas from this group of women for who fun is number one.
Claiming adventure “Woo Hoo” style
• Mystery Trip – Woo Hoo Sista Connie designed this covert weekend trip, telling the others nothing more than what to pack. The mystery included a stop at Bachman’s Nursery, wine tasting in Stillwater, ice cream at Nelson’s, and an overnight at Wild River State Park where they hiked, played games and set off on a scavenger hunt. To wrap it up was a stop at the Mall of America for a take at the high ropes course. • Cross-country Skiing – A favorite place for the Woo Hoo Sistas to slip on their skis is the City of Lakes where trails are lighted with luminaries after dark. For a map of ski or snowmobile trails throughout the state, visit www. dnr.state.mn.us. • Becoming an Outdoors Woman – Hosted by the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources, this program offers workshops and outings in dog mushing, winter camping, fly fishing and more. Find information at www. dnr.state.mn.us. •Wilderness Inquiry – If you’re looking for high-quality outdoor adventures both in the state and throughout the world, this is the go-to place. Check it out at www.WildernessInquiry.org. G
Because Sweethearts Stay Together. At Northfield Retirement Community, we understand what it means to be side-by-side with your sweetheart. That’s why we offer seven varied senior living facilities and a wide range of care options, from round-the-clock care to assisted living to memory care. This Valentine’s Day, choose to keep your sweetheart close. Choose Northfield Retirement Community. For more information, call 507-664-3466 or visit northfieldretirement.org.
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Photos: Submitted Top Left: (L to R) Sandy Boss, Beth Borgen, Connie Markell, Jody Slinger, Lisa Schoeb, Jeanne Stursa, Jo Sittlow Above: (L to R) Connie Markell, Jody Slinger, Beth Borgen, Jeanne Stursa, Sandy Boss, Lisa Schoeb, Jo Sittlow
Northfield Retirement Community 507-664-3466 • 900 Cannon Valley Drive www.northfieldretirement.org Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 19
Dress Your
BEST By Brenda K.M. Ward
Trying to fit generic sized clothing on a body that’s anything but is a challenge for countless women everywhere. We come in a multitude of shapes and sizes, and for many knowing just what to wear and how to wear it can be a daunting undertaking. “In my business I see bodies of so many shapes and sizes. Some women are chubby at size 8 and others are rail thin at the same size,” said Lisa Emery, owner of Lisa’s Alterations in Northfield. “Numbers mean nothing so do not compare yourselves. We are all so different in shape and size that the fact that we expect the clothes on the rack to fit everyone is laughable.” Breathe easy. Fortunately there are simple ways to assess your shape that help determine the most flattering styles. While some rules are a given – don’t bare your tummy if you have anything less than flat abs, for example – there are other subtle tricks that give the illusion of a balanced body. What’s more, in dressing appropriately you may also find yourself to be healthier overall, according to the American Journal of Public Health. The journal reports that women who appreciate their appearance, regardless of size, are sick 30 percent less often that those who wish they looked different. So take care of yourself, but stop worrying about the size on the label and wear clothing that fits and makes you feel and look great. With professional advice from Lisa and the help of image consultants at style-makeoverhq.com, we’ve created a “designer” guide to help you dress your best.
THE BASICS The first rule of thumb: look for pieces that fit well in your largest part – typically the hips, bust or waist. The rest can be taken in, shortened, or altered in whatever means necessary to provide the best fit, said Lisa. “I usually tell people that it is worth altering something if it has some redeeming fit value. A bad fit makes you feel like your body is a mistake. A good fit helps you enjoy your body.” Pants – Generally, the wider the pant, the longer it should be, but never should the legs drag on the floor. Pants should be able to hang straight at the back with a small break at the front. Tops and jackets – Avoid having the piece end on the widest part of your body. For those with a large waist, a longer top that skims over it leaves others looking at your slim hips instead. Skirts – Generally the hem, whether above or below the knee, should not stop at the widest part of your leg. Lisa suggests that what is going on below the hem should not grab more attention than what is going on above the hem – unless your legs are your best quality!
20 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
Explore:
New Prague Determine Your Type Creating the illusion of a proportionately balanced body is key to dressing your best. First assess your vertical body type, comparing the length of the bottom half to the top half of your body. Do this by measuring your full height and then the height to your hip line at the fullest point. Next, assess your horizontal body type, the relationship between your chest, waist and hip-line. Stand in front of a full length mirror. Hold a long, straight object like a broom handle under your armpit and rest it on your hip to determine whether your hip-line is narrower, wider or the same width as your bust-line. Once you have the measurements in hand, follow these easy guidelines.
VERTICAL BODY TYPE If your legs are shorter than your torso... Wear these: • Accessories that draw the eye up to your shoulders and face • Short to medium-long tops, tucked-in or layered • Medium or light tops and dark pants or skirts • Medium to wide belts • Straight skirts • Straight or boot-leg pants with hem to the ground • Medium to high heels
Avoid these: • Long tops (if you are short) • Pants or skirts with a dropped waistband • Tight or tapered skirts or pants • Cropped pants
If your body is balanced... Wear these: • Accessories that draw the eye up to your shoulders and face • Medium-long tops, un-tucked • Tops and bottoms in the same color • Tops and dresses that flow through the waist • Skirts and pants with narrow or no waistband • Straight or flared skirts • Low-rise or hipster pants that are straight or flared
Avoid these: • Short tops • Empire line tops and dresses • Wide belts • Pants or skirts with a high waistband
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If your legs are longer and torso shorter... Wear these: • Design details that draw the eye down, like border prints on skirts and pants (unless you are short) • Medium-long to long accessories (unless you are short) • Skirts and pants in the lighter colors than tops • Medium-long to long tops (if you are short, no longer than knuckle length), un-tucked • Tops and dresses that flow through the waist • Skirts and pants with narrow waistbands or no waistband • Straight and flared skirts • Low-rise or hipster pants that are straight or flared
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>>> Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 21
HORIZONTAL BODY TYPE If your shape is... HOURGLASS: your hip-line and bust-line are the same width and your waist is well defined.
INVERTED TRIANGLE: you have a proportionally large bust, broad shoulders or both, and narrow hips with a well-defined waist.
Wear these: • Fitted and semi-fitted clothes with soft, clingy, flowing fabrics • Low to medium-low necklines • Dresses with defined waistlines • Straight and gently flared pants and shirts
Wear these: • Flowing fabrics • Low to medium-low necklines • Three-quarter length sleeves • Tops and dresses that flow through the waist • A-line skirts and flared pants
Avoid these: • Stiff, bulky fabrics • Baggy styles • High necklines (unless you have a small bust) • Skirts with open pleats • Very tapered pants
Avoid these: • Stiff, bulky fabrics • Styles that emphasize your shoulders • High necklines and big collars • Tapered skirts and pants
OVAL or DIAMOND – also known as apple: you have the overall appearance of being round especially around the waist-line and hips. Wear these: • Accessories to draw an observer’s eyes up towards your shoulders and face • Shoulder pads to emphasize your shoulders • Semi-fitted and loose fitting clothes • Tops and bottoms in the same colors • Low necklines • Un-tucked tops • Tops and dresses that flow through the waistline • Straight flat-fronted pants in soft, flowing fabric
Feel
the
Avoid these: • Clingy fabrics • Fitted clothes • Fabric with large patterns • High necklines • Large lapels • Belts • Tucked-in tops • Pleats • Narrow or tapered skirts or pants Lisa’s Alterations 500 Division St. S., Northfield 507-664-3890 Hours: 9am-5pm Mon-Fri By appointment Sat & evenings
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TRIANGLE: your bust-line is narrower than your hip-line, and you have a well defined waist. Wear these: • Accessories and designs to draw attention to your upper body • Short-sleeved tops • Shoulder pads to broaden your shoulders • Medium to high necklines • Garments to emphasize your waist • Skirts and dresses that are straight or slightly flared • Low rise, boot leg and straight pants Avoid these: • Baggy garments • Stiff fabrics • Garments that add bulk to your hips or have hems or design lines at hip-line • Open pleats on skirts or pants or tapered skirts or pants
RECTANGLE: your bust-line and hip-line are about the same width. You have little waist definition and most likely a long vertical shape. Wear these: • Shoulder pads to emphasize your shoulders • Semi-fitted clothes • Short-sleeves and sleeve-less tops and dresses • Medium to high necklines • Dresses that wrap or flow through the waistline • Straight to gently flared flatfronted pants Avoid these: • Clingy fabrics • Fitted clothes • Low necklines • Baggy tops or pants • Narrow skirts
COLOR GUIDE Are you “warm” or “cool”? Most of us have, at one time or another, been introduced to the concept of “warm” and “cool” colors, and most of us know that we actually look better in one or the other color category—though not all of us know which one! Find your color family Find two swatches of fabric, perhaps towels, pillowcases, or articles of clothing—one of which is hot pink and the other hot orange. Hold each of these pieces of solid-colored material, in turn, under your chin, with the two sides brought up around each side of the head until the face is completely
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surrounded by this colored “background.” Then, look at yourself in the mirror, examining the effect of these two colored fabrics on your natural coloring. Does your skin tone look pasty or washed out with one color, but rich and glowing with the other? This is a safe indicator that the color which flatters your skin tone belongs to your natural “color family” and the one that doesn’t doesn’t. Pink means “cool,” orange means “warm” If the pink fabric flatters your skin tone, your natural coloring belongs to the “cool” category, and if the orange is more attractive beside your face, your skin tone is in the “warm” category. This can be incredibly helpful as an
indicator of the color families you should browse when purchasing clothing and makeup. Color cues If your skin tone is “cool,” you’ll want to look at pinks, blues, lavenders, mauves, purples, cranberries, and “winey” reds. If it’s “warm,” you’ll need to lean more toward oranges, greens, yellows, browns, and “flamey” reds. Of course, there will be variations! For example, in the blue/green category, “cool” skin tones will look best in turquoise or teal, whereas “warms” will look more becoming in chartreuse or lime. More info at: voices.yahoo.com/color-friend-foe-guide-choosing-colors-313416.html
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Full Service Bridal Alterations • Hemming of any style dress • Bustles • Re-beading • Resizing your gown • Shortening straps and adding cups • Custom garters and veils made to order • Bridesmaid and prom dresses • No appointment necessary • Mothers of the Bride and Groom, as well as flower girls • Men’s tailoring
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Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 23
SWOONING
IN LOVE
RUINED BY HEARTACHE Just how do these profound emotions affect your body and mind?
By Brenda K.M. Ward Ai. Liebe. Amore. Grá. Love. The word is universal, the experience being in love a breathtaking human emotion. When emotions of the heart are involved, a powerful spell seemingly blankets its beholder, seducing emotions, leaving you casting about for the ground upon which to once again place your feet. “Falling in love can be a rollercoaster of emotions,” said Kristi Hyink-Huttemier, licensed psychologist providing psychotherapy services at Mental Health Professionals, Inc. in Owatonna (www.mentalhealthprofessionalsinc.com). “When we are in contact with the object of our affection, we feel euphoric, and when apart, profoundly anxious, sad, jealous and preoccupied with being near them again. These emotional ups and downs can get us so keyed up that we may fail to eat, sleep or maintain our usual social routines.” Furthermore, says Hyink-Huttemier, judgment and perception can be disrupted which could lead to acting reckless or impulsive, or overlooking your companion’s shortcomings.
When in love, it’s easy to find yourself zeroing in on the one who has captured your heart. Yet alienating yourself from others or from responsibilities can lead to resentment on behalf of your friends and family, not to mention jeopardizing other aspects of your life, like your job, if you find yourself calling in sick to work to spend time with Mr. Right. “If you fail to maintain perspective, you may be left with few people to lean on if your romance gets rocky or ends,” says Hyink-Huttemier. But how do you know in the first place whether you are in love or are simply infatuated with another? Infatuation, according to psychologist Robert Sternberg’s theory of love, is a love based only on passionate obsession. It is lacking the commitment and intimacy of complete or “consummate” love – tunnel vision. “When infatuated we miss out on everything in the periphery, only making room for our beloved. When we pursue healthy love, we expand our field of vision and see all the complexities of the relationship. When we achieve consummate love, we still have room for all the other meaningful things in our life,” said Hyink-Huttemier.
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Pictured from left to right: Congressman Tim Walz; Anne Lamb, Physical Therapist and Owner of In Touch Physical Therapy; Senator Amy Klobuchar In Touch Physical Therapy has been providing physical therapy and wellness services since it was opened by Anne Lamb, Owner and PT, in 1996. 613 No. Riverfront Drive Mankato, MN 507- 345 - 8575
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24 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
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Wellness
The Surgery Center
It seems that whether young love or that which comes with experience, women and men change – emotionally and physically – when under the spell of love or its antithesis, heartbreak. But why? Beyond a topic of inspiration for poets, love and heartbreak are now studied by scientists who wish to further understand why we feel euphoric or anxious. Addicted to love Your lights are on, but you’re not home Your mind is not your own Your heart sweats, your body shakes Another kiss is what it takes... Might as well face it you’re addicted to love. If you missed the ‘80s version of Robert Palmer’s hit song, “Addicted to Love,” you may have heard the recent remake by Florence and the Machine. The science behind this “addiction” is just what researchers are determined to learn more about. What they’ve found: It seems that love stimulates a whole gamut of chemical changes in the body. “When together, lovers experience increased secretion of b-Phenylethylamine (PEA), a naturally occurring brain chemical that not only creates euphoria, but also can distort thinking,” said Hyink-Huttemier. “Studies have also found Dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in motivation and pleasure, increases when subjects viewed pictures of their love. Once you experience the pleasure of these emotionally rewarding chemicals, you want more, and may be anxious until you can get another ‘fix.’” No need to look up the nearest support group – the body will naturally stabilize both the levels and the effect of these chemicals with time, thanks to yet more chemical reactions that naturally occur. Oxytocin and Vasopressin are chemicals produced by being physically close to the one you love that, along with longterm bonding, produce a sense of calm that mediates the effects of the other more stimulating neurochemicals, says Hyink-Huttemier. And you thought love was simply life’s poetry. Breaking up is hard to do “It’s not you, it’s me.” “I need some space and time to find myself.” “We’re better off as friends.” Bobby has called it quits – and you thought he was “the one.” Suddenly, those euphoric emotions have morphed into depression, anxiety or physical distress. You’ve devoured the requisite bucket of ice-cream, but, amazingly, it didn’t help you feel even a smidge better. If the body can go amok over love, it seems natural to do so again in heartbreak. Bobby’s sudden announcement may leave you with headaches, nausea, panic attacks, fatigue, nightmares and other unpleasant physical reactions. And it can also leave you with an actual deep ache within.
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Through in-depth studies, cognitive neuroscientists at Columbia University have found neurological reactions behind heartbreak. It seems that when comparing the brain scans, the parts of the brain that lit up on fMRI scans in response to physical pain, like a burn, were the same areas that lit up for those who viewed a picture of their ex-partner after a recent break-up. Like a physical injury, the >>> Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 25
Wellness
SWOONING
IN LOVE
RUINED BY HEARTACHE
brain reacts in the same way to the emotion of rejection – though not a bruise or scratch is to be found. The study is a first step in connecting physical to emotional pain, which is excellent in the field of science, but how, you ask, can I feel better? Breathe. Sob. Surround yourself with friends and family who care. Take one day at a time; remember that healing is a process. And congratulate yourself for being human – you have the ability to open yourself to love even in knowing that pain can potentially follow. Hyink-Huttemier says that seeking counseling after a difficult break-up may help you gain perspective while your body responds to the fluctuation in neurochemicals. Furthermore, to help prevent these excruciating feelings in the first place, she suggests couples consider counseling before committing to a long-term relationship. Doing so, she says, may increase your relationship and life satisfaction. Evolution or intimacy? Dr. Frank Tallis, clinical psychologist and author of “Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness,” says that love is all about evolution.
“It is revealing that most people only experience being madly in love for about two years. This duration corresponds exactly with the time it would have taken our ancestors to produce and wean one child. Thus, love’s madness lasts just long enough to endure the survival of genes from one generation to the next.” Hyink-Huttemier’s response: “I think it is reassuring to know there could be some evolutionary imperative behind the tormenting drives related to early love. However, lasting love isn’t dictated only by our biological drives. It is influenced by intimacy born of shared experiences, socio-cultural expectations, and common interests. When we consider experiential factors, we can understand how loving relationships exist even when the capability or interest in reproduction does not. Despite the strong drives related to ‘falling in love,’ humans have shown the desire to adapt in order to achieve lasting consummate love. Extended engagements, Internet dating services that match personality traits, and arranged marriages are examples of how society has attempted to buffer us from the potential pitfalls of mating solely by the intoxicating fumes of passionate love.” What do you think? Chime in with your thoughts on our website, girlfriends.mn.
Early Detection
Saves lives Call to schedule your mammogram today!
Faribault
Owatonna
924 First St. NE & 300 State Ave. | 507.333.3300
2200 26th Street, NW | 507.451.1120
26 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
Wellness
Homeopathy: Natural Alternative to Hormones By: Sujata Owens CCH, RSHom, HMC, DHMS
Homeopathy is a natural and effective scientific system of mind-body-spirit integrative healing. This holistic approach to medicine takes a wider view of illness, cause of disease, and the ways in which people express their illnesses individually. Homeopathy was originated in Germany in 1796 by a German physician, Samuel Hahnemann. Due to its success, homeopathy is widely practiced all around the world. Mahatma Gandhi, Father of India and ardent follower of homeopathy said, “Homeopathy effectively helps a larger percentage of people than any other science, and is beyond doubt the safest and most economical form of health care.” The homeopathic approach recognizes the unique way each person reacts to illness as an expression of disharmony at the vital force level (energy level). Physical as well as mental and emotional signs and symptoms of disease, specific to each person, are recognized as attempts on the part of the body to heal itself. These signs and symptoms manifest themselves because the body has been unable to restore balance from its inner resources and needs help. Homeopathy works by enhancing the body’s natural ability to heal itself. A single, carefully chosen homeopathic remedy offers the help needed to restore a state of balance and well-being. A homeopathic consultation involves an interview in which the data of physical, mental and emotional symptoms along with medical history is collected. This data is then analyzed and evaluated to understand the essence of the imbalanced state of the individual. This process
leads the homeopath to find the specific remedy for the individual. Homeopathic remedies come from a wide variety of sources such as plants, minerals and animals. Many individuals would prefer safer treatment options rather than hormones and prescription drugs. Women want answers as to how they can ease the transition through menopause and minimize bone density loss and are looking for modalities that prevent complications, heart disease, and cancer. Homeopathy treats the whole you. Homeopathic practitioners treat people, not diagnoses and homeopathic care can help to soothe your symptoms of hormonal imbalance and make a real difference in relieving the symptoms and improve your overall health. With the correct individualized remedy one can expect a deeper calm and sense of well being, a sense of connection, exuberance, and freedom. Improvement should last over time, rather than diminish. Over time, intervals between doses should become longer. If that is not happening, then one can suspect there is a better remedy match. Interested in learning more? Join me for an exciting women’s class at the Co-op that explores many of the ways that Homeopathy can help ease life transitions. This free class, Homeopathy: Natural Alternative for Women’s Health will be held on Thursday, March 21 from 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. in Just Food’s Community Room. Register at www. justfood.coop/events (Sponsored by Just Food Co-op)
Are you ready?
March 9 - 16, 2013
Cooperatively Owned. All are welcome!
516 Water St S, Northeld 507-650-0106 · justfood.coop
Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 27
Unexpected Caregiver | Kari Berit
Caring Requires a Healthy Heart
“Errant children should be fined if they do not care for their aging parents.” The Chief Minister in Penang, Malaysia, believes adult children “must be accountable for their elderly parents and failure to perform such a duty will result in a failure to uphold a compassionate society.” Compassion is one thing. Over extending yourself, leaving little time or energy for your family is a whole other thing. Of course I believe in taking care of our aging parents, especially if you have a healthy relationship with them. “What if I don’t like my parents? Do I still have to care for them?” was a question I received on a radio show. We don’t all come from happy families. In fact, many of us are products of very dysfunctional families. I could not have been a full-time caregiver to my mother. There were simply too many rules of how I was to behave that would have rendered me ineffective. I could, however, be of support to my father, her main caregiver. And I found ways to care for my mother that didn’t include the daily, heavy lifting. A woman who heard that radio interview later attended a seminar I was giving and when she saw me expressed a tearful, “Thank you.” “My father abused me,” she continued, “and I can’t figure out how or if I can care for him. I am here to get clarity.” I hear these stories frequently. It can be an untenable situation. In order to care for your aging parents, you need to work through a great deal of old baggage. You can take this opportunity to heal—not 28 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
only your relationship, but also the wounds buried deep in your bones. This can be an opportunity for you to re-write your story, to exchange the victim story line of your past for a victor story of your present. This journey may need professional guides, as some of us feel as if you have no choice when it comes to caring for our families. If you don’t step up and help your parents, who will? And you may be right. My heartfelt suggestion is that you give care from a healthy place. If you enter into a caregiving situation feeling you “owe” your parents care, it will be guilt-filled. Just as parenting our parents implies an unequal relationship, owing someone implies inequality. Caregiving is a two-way street. It is a mistake to put your needs on the sideline and jump into the martyr role. I received a phone call from a woman who is caring for her aging mother. The woman sounded tired, sad, and at wits end. She told me a far too familiar story: Mother doesn’t want to leave her house and won’t pay for outside help, relying instead on the daughter. Her husband is frustrated that his wife feels she must answer her mother’s every call, while ignoring their relationship. Her grown children complain that she’s often tired and doesn’t visit her grandchildren. She is sandwiched between family members who all say she isn’t doing or being enough. We can too easily let caregiving situations take over our lives. We feel needed, we are helping, and it feels good. But taking care of a loved one cannot consume you. Assess your situation with a nonfamily member: what level of help is need and who is the best person to deliver that help? If it is you, figure out how this new role will fit within your life, rather than be your life. Ask others for help; you don’t have to do this job alone. -Kari Berit (www.KariBerit.com) is a radio show host, speaker and the author of “The Unexpected Caregiver.” Kari speaks around the country, raising awareness of family caregiving and aging.
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Girlfriends Guide • Education
• Food & Entertainment
BETHLEHEM ACADEMY
COUNTRY KITCHEN
Bethlehem Academy, a Sinsinawan Dominican Catholic school founded in 1865, is currently home to students in grades 7-12. We strive to empower our students and staff to achieve personal, spiritual and academic excellence. Call 507-334-3948 to schedule a visit today! 105 3rd Ave SW, Faribault, 507-334-3948, www.bacards.org
Still strong on the comfort foods that have defined us for years, today’s menu features old favorites and exciting new flavors. Guests will find Country Kitchen a perfect place to have breakfast anytime of the day or wind down with one of our tempting desserts. Stop in today! 3050 Hwy 60, Faribault, 507-332-4007 www.countrykitchenrestaurants.com
• Financial Resources
LEGACY GOLF & THE GRILL AT THE LEGACY
BRAD L. RUNNING CLU® • Retirement Planning Strategies • Retirement Plan Distribution • Retirement Income Strategies Financial Advisor, Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc., 1850 Austin Road, Suite 104 , Owatonna, MN 55060 , brad.l.running@ ampf.com , ameripriseadvisors@ampf.com/ brad.l.running
The Legacy is a championship 18-hole facility offering value-added golf and a warm friendly environment for golf outings & casual dining. It provides a unique setting for meetings, reunions, groom’s dinners, banquets and bridal showers. The indoor Grill can accommodate 30-50 people & the open-air Pavilion can accommodate up to 170. 1515 Shumway Ave, Faribault, 507-332-7177 www.legacygolf.net
SANDY WENKER, CPA
• Health & Wellness
Conveniently located in downtown Faribault, Sandy Wenker, CPA, provides tax planning & preparation, payroll services, accounting & bookkeeping, QuickBooks assistance & training, and new business consulting. Call or stop in at 14 3rd Street NE, Faribault. 507-333-3973 www.faribaultcpa.com
CASTLE ROCK BANK The Castle Rock Bank has been serving the women in this community for 96 years. To answer the question, “What do women want in banking?” We believe the answer is, “To be heard, understood, respected and valued.” 27925 Danville Ave Castle Rock (507) 645-7751 www.castlerockbank.net
STATE BANK OF FARIBAULT State Bank of Faribault is an innovative community bank with two locations in Faribault (established in 1919). Offering business loans, home mortgage, free mobile banking, free online banking and more, SBF is a leader in convenience, as well as customer service. 507-332-7401 www.tsbf. com Member FDIC Equal housing Lender
CURVES OF OWATONNA Come see why Curves is the largest fitness franchise in the world! We have CurvesSmart! Our state-of-the-art personalized coaching system gives you moment-by-moment feedback. We have Curves Complete! The only plan with diet, exercise, and motivation all in one place! Lose up to 20 lbs of fat in 90 days. We also have Curves Circuit with ZUMBA! Owatonna Curves,1828 S Cedar Ave, 507-455-4060
FIT FOR LIFE Fit for Life is a 24-hour Fitness Center located just off Hwy 21 N. We specialize in individual and group personal training as well as weight management and group fitness classes. State of the Art Cybex Equipment is on site for those who prefer to do it alone. 1400 Cannon Circle, Suite 6, Faribault, 507-333-5430 www.fitforlifemn.com
HAIR-I-TAGE SALON Hair-I-Tage Salon is a full service salon located in the heart of downtown Owatonna. We offer such services as hair cuts, color, perms, manicures, pedicure, massage and more! All of our 9 independent stylist have many years of experience and are up to date on current styles and trends. Give us a call today to set up an appointment, we look forward to seeing you! 320 N Cedar Ave, Owatonna, 507-455-3100, www.hairitagesalonowatonna.com or www. facebook.com/hairitagesalonowatonna
HOLLAND FAMILY DENTAL Holland Family Dental is located in the Professional Building on Hillcrest Ave. in Owatonna. We have been in Owatonna since 1996 and concentrate on dentistry for the entire family. We offer services in preventive, cosmetic and comprehensive care which includes implants and up-to-date dental technology. Please visit us at 605 Hillcrest Ave. Owatonna MN. 507-451-7250
IT WORKS! Have you tried that crazy wrap thing yet? Tighten, tone, and firm with lasting results in as little as 45 minutes! Ask how you can get a wrap for free. Maria Hoisington, 612-7023881, mariahoisington5@gmail.com, www.wrapwithmaria.com www.facebook.com/ ItWorksWrapItWithMaria
MILLSTREAM COMMONS ASSISTED LIVING Millstream Commons Assisted Living is located in downtown Northfield. 44 Assisted Living apartments (studio, 1 and 2 BR) featuring three meals a day, supportive nursing care, respite care, & life enrichment activities. Pets allowed. Licensed Housing with Services provider. Part of the Three Links Community. Member of Aging Services of Minnesota. 210 8th St W, Northfield, 507-650-9627, threelinks.org
NORTHFIELD URGENT CARE Tired of waiting to see your doctor for simple problems like sore throats and earaches? We provide walk-in medical care for all ages, from infants to adults. We are open 7 days per week and no appointment is needed! Quick, easy and efficient! 2014 Jefferson Rd Suite C, Northfield, MN 55057, 507-664-9999, northfieldurgentcare.com.
REPOSE MASSAGE THERAPY REPOSE Massage Therapy has added a location at Owatonna SeniorPlace, West Hills. SeniorPlace membership for those 50+ is a great value for the many benefits offered, which include affordable massage and bodywork. To make an appointment with Elizabeth Wright at SeniorPlace, phone 507-444-4280. Please leave a message if the volunteer is away from the desk! Visit www. owatonnamassage.com for more information.
Winter 2013 Girlfriends.mn 29
Girlfriends Guide SISTER’S SALON
OWATONNA MORTGAGE
THE PAPER PETALUM
Our goal at Sisters Salon & Day Spa is to put our guests first. Where you can be listened to and given what YOU want not what someone else has in mind. We want all our guests little and big to feel they received a 5 star treatment each and every time they come. What makes us different from most salons is our private setting inside. We have updated almost every room so you can enjoy a private massage setting or a quiet area for all of your spa needs. We have put in many little touches to help make your experience relaxing and comforting! Come visit us and receive a complimentary tour of our Day Spa or visit us on facebook and go through a virtual tour and see for your self what Sisters Salon & Day Spa is all about. If you have any questions after viewing this site please feel free to call us at 507-451-2741. Or email us at sisters@sistersalon.net
Financing, or refinancing a home doesn’t have to be a complicated procedure if you have the right professional to guide you through the process. With Owatonna Mortgage you are guaranteed to receive supreme client care and trustworthy advice throughout the entire process. We know how valuable and precious your time is. Ryan Jirele, Mortgage Loan Originator, NMLS #320358. 507-676-2708, 122 N Cedar, Suite A, Owatonna, facebook.com/OwatonnaMortgage
The Paper Petalum in the historic Archer House (212 Division St.) offers friendly customer service and unique gifts for all occasions. Locally owned and operated since 1987 we specialize in Scandinavian gifts, Minnesota products, decorative napkins, Polish Pottery, Rothschild foods, and much, much more. Stop in and visit us. 507-663-0565.
THE NORTHFIELD AREA FAMILY YMCA The Northfield Area Family YMCA is a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing opportunities for all individuals, families, and the community to achieve their fullest potential. From summer camps, to youth sports, to preschool activities and adult wellness, we have something for everyone. Become a member of the YMCA! 519 Division Street, Northfield 507-645-0088, www. northfieldymca.org. Scholarships are available to ensure everyone can participate.
• Home & Garden
SIMON BROS CEMENT CO. Simon Bros Cement Co. has been serving the Northfield area since 1969. We specialize in quality concrete and masonry including foundations, driveways, epoxy garage floors. Call for a free estimate. We will look at your project and use 40+ years of experience to share ideas and advice. Call Ray 612-328-4591
• Insurance AMERICAN FAMILY INSURANCE THERESE WHITESONG AGENCY We’re a J.D. Power and Associates Distinguished Insurance Agency. We’re among a select group that demonstrated the ability to consistently deliver “An Outstanding Customer Experience.” Whether you need insurance for your auto, home, life, health, or business, we listen to you to determine the right insurance that fits your needs. Therese Whitesong Agency, American Family Insurance. Telephone: 507-645-5010, 510 Washington St South, Northfield, www. ThereseWhitesong.com
JUDYS FLORAL DESIGN Whether Your Wedding is black tie/ ballroom or barefoot on the beach or somewhere in between! Beautiful, quality flowers and great ideas start with Judy Smith. “Specializing in fresh creative and affordable blooms for all the flower moments of your life” 507645-0008, 300 Railway St. North, Dundas, judysfloraldesign.com
NORTHFIELD COMPANY
CONSTRUCTION
Northfield Construction Company handles all types of residential remodeling---and promises a clean job site at all times. You and your dwelling are respected at all times—no lost pets, no smoking---just good work. For all your remodeling needs contact Ray Cox at 507-645-8975. www.northfieldconstruction. net
30 Girlfriends.mn Winter 2013
STEVE MORGAN AGENCY The Steve Morgan Agency has received the “JD Powers Award for outstanding customer experience” for 8 years in a row. Call and let his Licensed Staff “wow” you with their experience. Insurance should have a personal Fit. Does Yours? 200 Western Ave, Faribault, 507-334-0140 www.stevemorganagency.com
• Shopping A TOUCH OF CHARM A Touch of Charm is a quaint florist and gift shop in downtown Blooming Prairie, Minnesota. Leanne Hanson, owner, has been providing home accents, decorating ideas, gift and full service floral for the area since 1988. We specialize in a mixture of traditional, cottage and countrypolitan accents for your home and a unique array of gifts that you can’t wait to give. 507-583-7637, atouchofcharmonline.com
UPTOWN CONSIGNMENT Visit Uptown Consignment of Owatonna, MN for all of your women’s clothing and home décor needs. We offer a unique shopping experience with a personal touch! Our New and Next To New items are of exceptional quality and style! We have new inventory coming in daily - so stop back often! Our consignment shop provides a large selection of quality women’s clothing, shoes, handbags and accessories. Sizes range from juniors to plus, offering something for everyone! We also offer a large selection of home décor, furniture and more! We only showcase quality items at Uptown Consignment! Stop in today! 207 N Cedar Ave Owatonna, MN 55060 507-201-4509 www.uptownconsignment.net
• Transportation COMMUNITY CO-OP The Community Co-op is located in beautiful and historic downtown Faribault, MN. We were organized in 1925 and have been a cornerstone of this community ever since. We specialize in fuels, lubricants, tires, and vehicle service, all for an affordable price. Women live busy lives, our staff understands how important service and convenience are. That is why we are the Company where our customers send their friends. 9 Central Ave, Faribault (507)334-2056, www.coopoilfblt. com
NORTHFIELD LINES, INC. Have your group arrive in style when you pull up in one of our luxurious motor or mini coaches. Single or multi-day sightseeing trips, shopping, girlfriend getaways, dining, concerts, weddings, receptions, casino visits – you name the event and we will get your group there safely and on time. 32611 Northfield Blvd, Northfield, 800-944-2190, www.northfieldlines.com
Capturing Life’s Moments...
GingerSnaps Photography
by Kelli Wencl
1620 Hwy 60 West, Suite C (west door), Faribault 507-334-5488 | gingersnapshots.com