LAST LAUGH
healthcare by horse It Is expensIve to keep horses. It Is expensIve to get healthcare. You might be thinking, “What do those two things have in common?” Just this. We are always looking for ways to cut our horse expenses, and everyone knows from reading or watching just about anything today, healthcare for humans is nearly a bazillion percent of our personal and national expenditures. now, I don’t know about you, but when I see two apparently unrelated problems, I’m just itchin’ to figure out an elegant, simple solution to both of them, especially if it will save me money. And, I think I have it. It will require the help of all two million horse owners in the U.s., but I don’t think that’ll be hard to get once everyone grasps the brilliance of this plan. Which is: to have all our horses designated as healthcare professionals. And then, as the “administrators” of our “primary care practices,” we can be paid to work, ride, tend and fuss over our own horses! heck, we could even use our horses to provide healthcare to others who might want the same benefits we have as horse owners. I call it, Uni-horse-al coverage. Great idea, right? think about the pluses. First of all, we hear a lot these days about wellness. We’re all supposed to work harder to stay well to prevent chronic diseases, which are very expensive and irritating. We’re supposed to exercise, take vitamins, eat right, reduce stress, etc. our horses give us perfect opportunities for this. the first thing I learned about being around horses is that there is a ton of walking involved. horses require a lot of ground, and that ground frequently has to be traveled on foot. horse shows are in large locations, and your horse always seems to be lodged far from your arenas, so ditto. And besides, anything you require when working with a horse is at least a quarter mile from where you and said horse are standing. Grooming and picking feet offer many of the stretching advantages of yoga, if done with deep breathing and a minimum of grunting. pitching hay and manure can stand in for strength training. posting, chasing loose horses, and showing halter are all aerobic exercise. Being outdoors contributes to vitamin D needs. Any type of riding is a great fine-motor movement and balance activity. As far as diet goes, that might be trickier. I noticed that owning horses correlates with a higher consumption of fastfood and sweets. show me one healthy meal that you can eat out of one dirty hand while you hold your horse for the farrier with the other. however, we fix this by eating a portion of the grain that we feed our horses. It is already vitamin- and nutrient-fortified, and grain is in a good part of the Food pyramid, right? If we replaced one hamburger, greasy taco or fistful of candy a day with one helping of grain, we’d probably all be healthier for it. 298 equine
Journal
| July 2012
now, then, as to routine medical care. Mostly, we horse people don’t use it. We don’t have time to go to the doctor when there are horses to ride or take care of. Who hasn’t sat around swapping stories of hauling to and riding in a big competition when we were at death’s door? And, we’re still here, right? Besides, being around horses, dogs, cats, and vegetation, not to mention flies, gnats and spiders, simply strengthens our immune systems. We also want to keep our brains sharp. Well, what better way of doing that than trying to out-think our horses all the time? It’s vastly superior to sudoku for stimulating the gray matter, if you ask me. they keep us on our toes because they have plenty of time to figure out ways around us. horses may have smaller brains, but they also don’t have the many things we have to clutter them up with…things such as mortgages, Dancing With The Stars, and FacebooksM. therefore, we really boost our brainpower trying to stay ahead of them, especially in the saddle. And finally, there is companionship. there are lots of studies on the benefits of companionship to our overall health. Well, horses are great at being companions. they’re herd animals, after all. they don’t talk much, but they sure do listen. And, that’s a sorely needed commodity today. so, come on, horse owners! sign up today! I know we can make this happen. Ange Dickson Finn is an award-winning freelance writer, western pleasure competitor and retired horse show mom who loves to stay healthy with her horses. Visit her at www.theingate.com and www.ridewithoutfear. com, or email her at ange@ridewithoutfear.com.
illustration: william greenlaw
By Ange Dickson Finn