i’ve always been bad Pieces of myself dropping like raindrops I watch the raindrops of myself Drip down my big legs To the ground – that space inside myself Where I fall into the abyss I’ve always been bad I need a hand Hand me some crazy glue to hold together the pieces of my life Pieces of me falling by the way side as I make a move on living That me that is so bad That me that seizes the night rain in my fist … I take a fast train I should take the next plane instead; it’s faster And I like speeding I have my tickets to prove it You can look up my record on the computer
Kicking it on the corner with my bf and got busted for it I’m the one who at 14 knocked on the hippies’ door Up in the hood when they were the first ones who moved in And just happened to have a door at the street level No one else would knock since none of us had met any of them before But I wanted to knock on their door and chill I hung out in bars with them where I chilled and danced all night And sometimes sneaked a sip of alcohol I’m that bad girl who left one man for another Left a man in the lurch when she’d had enough Of the stuff to make you crazy, who’s fault is it he became lazy It’s all hazy now, right or wrong we make choices, we all try, we live and die
I’ve always been bad the kind of bad that makes you feel uncomfortable Makes you look at others around you to see if they see what you see when you look at me I’m the kind of bad that makes others be afraid to hear my bad The kind of bad that makes you itch with discomfort when people hear my name they twinge with disgust I’ve always been bad I’m the one who smoked cigarettes at 11 years old
I’ve always been bad I’m that bad girl who started smoking blunts down in the park on a bench at sunset kickin’ it back and staring into nature, getting my marijuana giggles and passing them on to all the people I turned on I’m that bad girl who found some people to laugh with me while others turned up their noses And complained about how I jumped right into dialogue without even saying hi first I can’t tell you much more about it except to reiterate I’ve always been bad I can’t help it… That’s the way it’s always been
JOY LEFTOW
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