Inner Tapestry "Transformation" Spring 2015

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INNER TAPESTRY

SPRING 2015

A Holistic Journal Celebrating & Supporting LIFE!

TRANSFORMATION Published byThe HeartGlow Center www.heartglow.org

Cover Art By

1 Elizabeth Harper


From the Publisher... The HeartGlow Center Welcome to Inner Tapestry, a holistic journal that has been in publication for 15 years throughout New England. We are now digital and expanding our reach to a global audience. Why? It’s important for us to be GREEN and to share holistic wisdom with as many people in the world as we can. The HeartGlow Center, a nonprofit public charity dedicated to conscious living, was generously donated this publication by Joan Emmons and Ron D’Amico in Autumn of 2014. This amazing gift will provide our charity a powerful tool of education and transformation. We are excited to bring you a diverse group of talented contributors, who have come together in conscious collaboration to make the world a better place. Several of our columnists have contributed to Inner Tapestry over the years and we also bring you many new voices, each sharing their unique wisdom and artistry. This publication is FREE for readers and supported by the generous donations of members, ad sponsors, and people like you. We are thrilled to have you join us for our Transformation issue and welcome your comments and questions. In Light, Deb Snyder, PhD Founding Director of The HeartGlow Center

Would you like to appear in Inner Tapestry? Inner Tapestry has been in publication 15 years reaching tens of thousands of devoted readers. We are thrilled to expand our readership to a global audience as part of The HeartGlow Center’s charitable mission! All articles and content in Inner Tapestry is brought to you by our members, our HeartGlow Conscious Collaborators. Care to join us by sharing your wisdom with the world?

Members receive: •

A 12 month detailed listing in our online holistic directory.

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A 25% discount on sponsor ads, online events, and our Transform conference. Your one year membership is only $60 thats just $5 per month donation!

Become a Member here! The HeartGlow Center is a 501c3 Nonprofit Charitable Organization Registered and Incorporated in the State of Maine. All donations to our public charity are deductible under section 170 of the Internal Revenue Code Federal EIN 45-4991077 INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL

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INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL SPRING 2015

Contents The Art & Spirit of Elizabeth Harper I AM Free Mindful Home Love, Molly Kite Rock Talk Hermetic Qabalah Living in Harmony Traveling with Purpose The Cosmic Dance Caregiver Diaries Spirit Walking Essence of the Lotus Spirit Beauty: A New Perspective To See or Not to See Listening to Evolved Wisdom Exploring the World Religions Art & Poetry Sponsor Pages

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Donate Now HeartGlow Members may submit articles for consideration. JOIN US!

The HeartGlow Center is a 501c3 Nonprofit Charitable Organization Registered and Incorporated in the State of Maine. All donations to our public charity are deductible under section 170 of the Internal Revenue Code Federal EIN 45-4991077

DLN:17053136353032

Inner Tapestry Staff Publisher: The HeartGlow Center Editorial: Deb Snyder David Nicholson Contact Us: Editorial: editor@innertapestry.com Ad Sponsors: dede@heartglow.org

Artistic Director: Mark Storck

Sponsor Ad Director: Dede Eaton INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL

Spring 2015

Articles By:

Kristi Borst Lindsay Neithercut Tam Veilleux Dede Eaton Valerie Irish Mark Gerardi Jennie Krasse Lady Deane Carolyn Murray Evelyn Rysdyk Suzanne Silvermoon Jennifer Crews Chris Ann Kathryn Drage James Bean

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On the Cover

The Art & Spirit of Elizabeth Harper The Goddess of Transforma.on “What the caterpillar calls death, the master calls the bu3erfly.”

The wings of the bu/erfly are predominantly violet, the color of transforma;on and change. Shi>ing to magenta the ;ps of her wings reflect the next stage of movement a>er rest. Her green eyes see the light of a fresh beginning, prepared to rebuild and accept a new phase of life. Flowers surround her symbolizing blossoming, expansion, and fer;lity. She has everything she needs in the elements she embraces. Green grass connects her to the earth keeping her grounded. The turquoise blue water of her hair helps her to “go with the flow.” The bu/erfly wings blow away the cobwebs of the winter months. As her mind reawakens so does the fire of her crea;vity. Her third eye opens through the flower bindi on her forehead. Her inten;on is to see the growing earth around her, and that is exactly what she experiences. Her crea;ve mind is awake and now at work. The blue and green heals her heart, she is ready for spring. Within the bu/erfly are two pools of blue, reminders of winters past, but the flowers tell her to be here now in this present moment to enjoy the new season. She is a reflec;on of you and I as we emerge from our slumber to welcome in a new day.

~Elizabeth Harper Elizabeth Harper is an internationally acclaimed mystical artist, color clairvoyant, and author. Through her psychic vision she infuses the rainbow colors of your soul into pieces of jewelry, art and silks to empower and guide you to access your most authentic self. She has been featured in popular national magazines including Woman’s World, Redbook, and Health, and is a magazine columnist and regular contributor to radio and television in the US, Australia and the UK. She is the award-winning author of Wishing: How to Fulfill Your Heart’s Desires, co-author and co-publisher of the best selling book 365 Days of Angel Prayers, and contributing author to Women Will Save the World. Elizabeth has helped thousands of people access their psychic and color awareness through her playful approach to learning. She regularly facilitates workshops at some of the nation’s most renowned organizations including the Omega Institute for Holistic studies, Leaning Annex, Open Center, and Lily Dale. She is founder of Sealed With Love LLC and co-founder alongside Cathleen O’Connor of Spiritual Living LLC. Want to know your true colors? Get your FREE Color Kit at http://bit.ly/colorkit Connect with Elizabeth at http://www.sealedwithlove.com http://store.sealedwithlove.com

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Do you have a voice that says you cannot do or be what One key in my getting from stressed-out workaholic to you dream? Does your Mind tell you, you need to embracing my essence of BEing was realizing I didn’t struggle? Wouldn’t it be great to silence that voice? need to BE or DO more. Contemplating “we are eternal What about the fears that are telling you to stay small? I beings having a human experience” finally ignited a want to create a bridge for you between light bulb above my head. In remembering what you think you know (what you’ve who I AM I also remembered who each been taught and accepted as “reality”) and of you are. We are all unlimited …no Free, free, free, a greater truth that will set you free! ONE better, no ONE lesser!

I AM Free …

You possess a greater personal power within waiting to be embraced! Yet you may have lost your connection to that truth. How? We gradually agree to boundaries within and upon our lives … boundaries set by our parents, society, our own minds. We put ourselves into boxes without realizing it.

Free from anger,

You are Bigger than your Body

I think that filters, conditioning, and negativity can prevent us from seeing free from worry, ourselves as “eternal beings” We may not free from remember we are part of the All That Is, but we are. I see us in a kind of play, with vengeance, other eternal souls. Like children playing free from struggle house (you be the mom and I’ll be the Would you like to find your inner true daughter; next time you be the brother … your love essence? The good news is it’s neither and I’ll be the sister; or on a larger scale, set me free. impossible nor difficult. In finding that you be the “cop” and I’ll be the “robber”) ~Kristi Borst~ part of YOU that makes you feel truly ~ Kristi Borst ~ we face opportunities and challenges alive you will have found your purpose with, for and through others. We each and ! and become a gift to others and to all come from and animate our lives from the same yourself! All attained by just being your TRUE self. Source/Light/God. This give new implications to “thinking outside of the box”! What will you find? We Are All Connected As I rejected the boundaries and boxes I had agreed to Have you ever thought of a friend or loved one and then live within, a memory of healing myself as a toddler and receive a call or text from them? This is a physical being told to “never do that again!” surfaced. I was able example of our energetic/emotional connectedness. We to reconnect with that part of myself. In expanding my are not “lone riders in the storm”. What you think about view of myself, others, and what is possible in this others matters, and what you think about yourself is key. physical reality, the gift I believe I am here to share As you heal, I heal and visa versa. There is a Master began to flow in, of and through me as naturally and Plan which serves the good of the sum total. Sometimes intuitively as breathing. it’s just not all about us.

free from hatred,

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Things Happen Not TO Us but FOR Us Sometimes when things don’t go as WE plan, we can be quick to judge it as “terrible”. Yet how many times, in hindsight, can we see how life’s challenges have pushed us to find a greater part of ourselves we may not have otherwise discovered? Perhaps it’s even saved us from something far worse that could have happened. What if, when “bad things happen to us” it is not about getting stuck in the muck … it’s about getting to the point at which we realize how strong we are to have survived? Given our eternal nature, think of the power of forgiving “the other” for this immediate situation, and, on another level, ourselves for the myriad times we have been in the role of “the other”. In that moment, we know the pain from both perspectives. When we are unable or refuse to forgive another, we are ultimately denying ourselves forgiveness. My gift is in helping others release this inner turmoil carried by the adult and/or inner-child consciousness. “You’re Never Too Old to Have a Happy Childhood” Not sure who said this, but I concur! If you’ve had a difficult childhood, you still have the opportunity to have the loving parent you always longed for … YOU! Being conscious of negative self-talk is the first step to eliminating it. Don’t continue the put-

downs you may have hated hearing from your parents and/or bullies. Life’s path has brought you to this moment in which you can choose to change your life in an instant by loving yourself UNconditionally. As you change your view of yourself to be more loving, it’s much easier to give and accept the love of others. You Cannot Change the World, but when You Change the Way You SEE the World, the World Changes Why not see yourself as unlimited? Take a few minutes each day in quiet contemplation to soar like a bird. See your life and the world around you from a higher perspective. Realize how much you have to offer. Only YOU have the unique qualities your soul is here to offer. From this space, we can most often find our Higher Purpose and live from our greatest bandwidth of joy. It’s not egotistical to find what makes your soul sing and choose to express it! It is ultimately why you are here, now. Reflect on these truths. What do they mean to you? What simple shift of perspective can yield huge benefits for you? In every moment you have a choice. That is where your power lies! BE the best YOU, you can be. No one else can do it for you! It may be easier than you. Whom does it serve to stay small? We are all connected, so I say NO ONE. LIVE your life with love and abandon.

Kris; Borst has been sharing her healing gi> through interna;onal radio broadcasts, wri/en messages, public speaking, love-­‐based healing “Energy-­‐in-­‐Form” fractal artwork, and private/group healing sessions. Kris; is able to transform the meta-­‐physical … enabling others to release energe;c blocks manifes;ng as physical pain, emo;onal trauma, karmic debts and/or ancestral burdens. Kris; named her unique intui;ve energy healing modality Perspec;ve Reboot® because of the ease and grace with which her audience and clients experience shi>s toward be/er wellness or wholeness. You can contact Kris; via her web site www.Perspec;veReboot.Us

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MINDFUL HOME Herb Gardening By Lindsay Neithercut

I love spring. The promise of new life, of green growing plants; the beautiful, the useful, and the delicious, after months of cold, gray days is irresistible to me. Soon after the beginning of the year, gardening and seed catalogs begin to arrive in my mailbox, and I know I’m closer to the beginning of the next garden season than I am to the end of the one just past. As all manner of winter weather swirls outside the windows of our house on the ridge, my mind explodes with excitement as I begin to dream and decide what will be. My husband, Scott, will recite his now-familiar refrain; “It’s almost spring!” It always makes me grin to hear him say that. And so it begins. Gardens nourish our bodies and souls. They help connect us to the earth and to ground ourselves. If you haven’t yet partaken and would like to enjoy some garden love, check out your local public gardens, farmers’ markets, and nurseries. They are beautiful, educational and inspiring and your local markets are bursting with seeds and baby plants now. Whether you regularly tend a large garden, or just have a sunny deck, how about tending some herbs this year? They give a lot of bang for your buck and most are easy to grow. Herbs attract bees, hummingbirds and butterflies. They make your healthy meals delicious, transport you to different cultures, support your body in health and soothe it in illness. You can establish your herb garden in any spot that gets full sun. If you don’t have a garden already, you

can dig and turn over a small patch near your back door, or pot them up individually or together in a multitude of different containers. If you’ll be using containers, gather some potting soil, an organic fertilizer, a scoop, and hose or watering can. Some pebbles at the bottoms of your containers would also help with drainage, but isn’t absolutely necessary. I pot up herbs and annual flowers on the table that sits on our deck to spare my back and knees, although a large pot is best filled and potted up where you want it to live. Plastic containers tend to retain water, and plants in Terracotta containers will dry out more quickly. One rule of thumb when watering is to dig your finger down approximately one inch into the soil of your potted plant. If it feels moist, the plant is all set. If it’s dry, water your plant. Herbs generally do not like to sit in water, so take care not to drown them. I find that plants in containers in full sun will require frequent water, sometimes daily. If you’re pinched for time, there are containers and deck boxes available with self-watering reservoirs. Don’t be bashful about harvesting your herbs! The more your pick, the more they grow. Some herbs like basil want to be “pinched” so they grow larger and bushier. And since flowers mean a plant is trying to reproduce and therefore end its life cycle, harvesting will lengthen the life of your plants and increase your harvest.

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Here are five easy herbs that everyone should have: 1. Parsley seed is so notoriously slow to germinate (up to 30 days!) it was once thought to travel to hell and back, so I would recommend buying “starts”, or baby plants. Italian or flat leafed parsley is more flavorful than the curly. It’s easy and likes regular water. Use it in everything; marinades (I’ll give you one today), dressings, sauces, salads, etc. Not just for garnishes! 2. Basil. Sweet basil, purple basil, lemon basil, lime basil, Thai basil…yum! I love it so much I buy starts and direct sow a packet of mixed varieties in my garden, so I don’t have to wait as long. Basil wants to be well watered. Pinch the top set of leaves off between your thumb and forefinger when your plants are about six inches tall and they’ll grow taller and bushier. That’s your first harvest! Toss it in your salad. Pick it freely and use it in salads, vinaigrettes, stir fry recipes, and anything Mediterranean. And don’t forget pesto! I make it towards the end of the season and harvest the entire plant. 3. Cilantro is best when you grow your own. I always have trouble with quality when I buy cilantro at the market, and you can’t replace that flavor. Direct sow cilantro and keep it watered. Harvest frequently to encourage more leaves, or allow it to flower and harvest the coriander seeds. If you’re growing tomatoes, you’ll have the best fresh salsa ever. 4. Chives are perennial, which means they’ll grow back each spring. My mom gave me my first plant and hers came from her own mother. Chives come up early in the spring, so it will be your welcomed first herb. The purple flowers are beautiful and edible. Add them to salads and steep them in white wine vinegar to make a beautiful pink vinegar to tint salad dressings. If you leave the flowers, they’ll cast seed

everywhere and you’ll have lots of chives, I promise. Still, one of the greatest gardening joys is sharing something from your garden with another, so pot them up and share the love. If you’re in Bridgton during growing season, stop by and you can take the next generation home. 5. Rosemary, the herb of remembrance, is a tender perennial, meaning in milder climates it will repeatedly grow. In Maine, the first frost will kill it, graveyard dead. Rosemary tolerates poor and dry soil, so be careful not to overwater if it’s in a container. Rosemary is delicious with roasted and grilled meats and vegetables. The stems may be used as skewers or underneath your roast as a roasting rack. Steep some of your rosemary in olive oil. This marinade recipe was a family favorite growing up, and I still prefer it. I’ve used this on just about everything; beef, lamb, pork, chicken, shellfish, veggies. I double it and will add additional herbs when I have them, so feel free to use this as a base and get creative. Dad’s Marinade •

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon ground black pepper

1 clove garlic, crushed (yeah, right – 1 clove)

2 teaspoons fresh chopped parsley

We’ve barely scratched the surface regarding herbs here, but there are many references available to you. I wish you an enjoyable summer nurturing and harvesting your own delicious bounty, and hope you’re inspired to explore and taste the multitude of herbs that await you.

Lindsay Neithercut is a writer and conscious living expert who relates to the struggle so many face today in finding the balance between career, responsibility, and passion/joy. After buying her house, all her careful planning evaporated when fuel costs exploded after Hurricane Katrina. Her vision fell further down on “The List” as it met reality and the budget, leaving her feeling lost. After reconnecting with her passion, Lindsay is tackling her life and home to re-align and make time for her passion and joy. Lindsay hopes others will be inspired by her experiences and make room for their own passions.

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Dear Diary, I was about to do a kartwheel out the front door this morning when Brando jumped in front of me and said “Stop what you're doing, kid.” He looked all mean and stuff and I was like “Well, what's going on here.” Big brother is usually in a hurry to push me out the door and be rid of me so I figured something must be up. My doll Faith, who I had tucked in my backpack was giggling. (I find it strange that I am the only person who can hear my rag doll speaking, is everyone else hard of hearing?) Anywhoosler, I put my hands down by my side, 'cuz they had been over my head in account of I was going to do a kartwheel and all, and put them on my hips instead. I looked at Brando and then at JP sitting on his shoulder and said “Yessssssss?!” “You can't go out right now,” he said. “'Course I can.” I said back to him. “Nope. You probably should just be inside, it's much safer,” he replied. It was just then that I noticed brother's bottom lip was shaking and his eyes looked all watery. I think Brando was about to cry maybe. I had to think quick. Why was he sad? It was just then that Faith suddenly dropped into my backpack and slid into the deep pocket. When I reached into the pocket to grab her I got this sudden picture in my head about school, Brando's school actually. I instantly remembered that this was his last spring break as a middle-schooler. As soon as school vacation is over Brando has to start spending a couple of hours a week visiting his next school. The big school. The high school. I had heard Mama telling Nana Whacky how scared he was to be going into a whole new situation with older kids and harder school subjects. Mama actually used the word scared when she was talking about Brando – my big brother who I knew was scared of nuthin'! My big brother who stomped every spider I asked him to. Golly, he's the guy who wears a Superman cape to bed. He's my bestest hero ever and yet he was scared to change.

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All that stuff went through my head in like, ten seconds. It was just long enough for me to pull Faith out of my bag and place her in Brando's hand as I said “Here Brando, hold onto Faith. It's safe for me to go outside. There is a new playground I'm going to and a new neighbor I'm going to meet. Even though change scares me, alls I gots to do is think about my Superhero brother and then WHAMMY I knows I have what it takes to try something different.” JP ruffled his feathers when I spoke like that to my brother, and I saw a sparkle in Brando's eye as he squeezed Faith in his hand. I raised my arms over my head to continue my most excellent kartwheel out the door and Brando shouted to me “Well yeah, Molly Kite, go play, I didn't mean to say it's safer inside, what I said was “it's not sane to be inside – you know- it's warmer out there. Go on now, go play, you brat.” Here's hoping Brando thinks different about change next time. Chocolate wishes and blueberry kisses,

FAMILY FUN: Change can be

Miss Molly Kite (& Faith)

challenging. Have an open discussion with family members about this subject. Use the following questions to get you jumpstarted.

P.S. The kartwheel was most excellent!

Do you love the Dear Diary column and have questions for Molly Kite or Nana Whacky? We'd love to hear from you. Please contact the author of this column by emailing: tam@choosebigchange.com

Why is change scary? How can you make new situations fun and exciting? Does change have to be scary? What is a different way to look at change? Draw or write a picture about bravery.

Author, trainer and transformational speaker Tam Veilleux has been changing audiences with wit, wisdom, science and spirituality for several years. Her goal is to engage people of all ages in creating change by mastering the five areas of life through mindset management with EFT, NLP and energy principles. Her children's book “Molly Kite's Big Dream” , available at Amazon, encourages the dream, do, have of life for all ages by teaching the ABC's of Dreaming. For more about Tam or Molly Kite please visit: www.choosebigchange.com

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Transformation:

“Break On Through To The Other Side” When thinking about Transformation; evolving from one and what we are meant to be. Taking a cue from nature form to another, it’s awe-inspiring to look toward nature. with the arrival of spring can often initiate or encourage The natural world is in constant flux, though at times, as a time of transforming body, mind and spirit; in winter, it appears all is still, quiet and undisturbed; yet emotionally, spiritually or physically. Sometimes deep below the surface life is stirring, waiting for the transformation is forced upon us, pushing us to the outer right conditions to burst forth. Each spring is edges of our limited expectations and beyond. Other breathtaking and simply amazing to observe. Here in the times we sense or yearn for change on the deepest levels Northeast just when we think the endless blanket of of our being. Whether by choice or circumstance our white and cold will never go crystals and stones can assist in the away….it does; at first painfully process of personal transformation; “Life is a moving, slow but then seemingly from one in fact some are known to be great day to the next Spring has arrived breathing thing. We have to facilitators of such a time. Three with all her glorious new growth stones considered to be “stones of be willing to constantly miraculously breaking through; the transformation” are Tektite, evolve. Perfection is promise of Spring has been kept Moldavite and Malachite. Each will once again. All is green. All is constant transformation.” lend themselves as guides at a time well. Our beautiful Earth makes this of major shifts in experience leading ~Nia Peeples incredible journey of to a profound change in awareness transformation each and every year, on the path to self-discovery. While without fail. To celebrate the blessings of Spring, new many people report fascinating, easily navigated, yet growth and fertility gather up all your green stones and massive breakthroughs with these stones, some report crystals; sacred symbols to the spring earth goddesses, extreme, explosive, emotionally challenging bring them out doors to absorb the fresh air, sunshine experiences. It is suggested to work with one of these at and vibrant energy of the season, paying homage to the a time, prepare for any eventuality, seek support and earth. practice self-care. May you “Break on through to the There are many opportune times in the course of the other side” with grace and ease. year to begin a transformation; an evolution to whom Notes: The use of crystals and stones should not replace the advice of your medical or mental health care provider. Genre Category based on the soon to be released reference guide Rock Talk: An Aging Rock Chick’s Guide to Crystals & Stones by Dede Eaton. All Rights Reserved.

Elemental correspondences based on the work of Naisha Ahsian. The Crystal Ally Cards; The Crystal Path to Self Knowledge 1995. www.crystalisinstitute.com Light Ray correspondences based on/inspired by William C. Stuber. Gems of the Seven Color Rays; A Comprehensive Guide to Healing with Gems 2001.

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Tektite: Carried or worn as talismans for thousands of years, considered lucky and magickal by tribal elders of many cultures, Tektites are meteoric glasses formed from extreme melting, cooling and pressure of asteroids, comets or meteorites impacting the earth resulting in clouds of molten silicate droplets of this glassy, dark brown, black or green material resembling obsidian. The name derives from the Greek tektos defined as ‘melted’ or ‘molten’. Due to their ‘other worldly’ origins Tektites are thought to be links to communicating with other beings in the cosmos and to facilitate travel through time and space to gain information and knowledge. Tektites are also thought to increase and reinforce communication with other people as well as our highest self; digging into the root of a situation for understanding and spiritual development on the deepest level to achieve, at last, a sense of completion of an issue or situation. Tektites strengthen the energetic field, balance the male and female aspect within and increase our inner Light. Tektites have been employed to increase prosperity and growth in all aspirations. (For detailed and interesting information about the chemical analysis, origin and more about Tektites visit www.meteorite.com) Primary Aspects: Telepathy, Insight, Awakening Light Ray: White Element: Storm Chakra: All Locale: The Philippines, Thailand, Australia, Middle East, Africa, China Genre: Shock Rock Moldavite: If we are ready, willing and able to face our limiting beliefs and behaviors once and for all, then Moldavite is the stone of choice, often not a choice but making itself known loud and clear via one avenue or another. Moldavite’s reputation for speeding up one’s spiritual development is well deserved. The reports from those who work with it are varied and enthusiastic; ready for a breakthrough? Get a piece of Moldavite! This opaque glassy stone in shades of light to deep forest green is found by farmers in what are known as “strew fields” in the Czech Republic, Moldova and Germany by sifting/ digging. Moldavite falls into the Tektite category with many theories of its origins. In his book Moldavite: Starborn Stone of Transformation, Robert Simmons gives great detail regarding Moldavite’s chemical composition and origin theories from a scientific and geological point of view. Much debate prevails and research is on-going. Whether Moldavite arrived by meteoric impact, lunar volcano eruption, comets, lightning or some other occurrence, one thing remains; humans have held it in high regard for many thousands of years. Moldavite tools and adornments have been found in archeological dig sites with items dating back 25,000 years. Those who have enlisted Moldavite to fuel their path to enlightenment, spiritual development and healing report the following: major shifts in consciousness, discovering spiritual purpose, blockage clearing/alignment/activation of the chakras, higher self and/or extraterrestrial communication, information downloads, dream enhancement/recall, clear direction, courage, synchronistic events, rapid release of all that is no longer needed, deep sense of peace, protection and trust in the Divine. And more! Everyone’s experience will be unique. Primary Aspects: Transformation, Evolution, Purgative Light Ray: Green Element: Storm Chakra: All (Heart, Third Eye, Crown, Etheric highlighted) Locale: “Strew fields” Czech Republic, Moldova, Germany Genre: Shock Rock

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Malachite: A stunning deep green stone with lighter and darker shades of green and black in bands, circles and fantastic designs. Malachite’s folk name is Malaku, deriving from the Greek malache meaning ‘mallow’ due to its resemblance to that herbs’ leaves. Found in oxidized zones of copper deposits, it is a common secondary mineral often occurring with Azurite, Chalcopyrite, Chrysocolla, Cuprite and occasionally Turquoise. Some believe Malachite is energetically still evolving and will present itself as a premiere, important and especially powerful stone for healing in coming years. Some believe it already is one of the foremost healers on earth available today. Either way, people have employed this beauty for eons as talismans, tools, jewelry, sacred and decorative items. Due to the intricate patterns on the stone, often resembling an eye, it was thought to protect from the effects of the “evil eye”, these ‘eyes’ are also said to hold certain truths if we wish to delve in and discover them through scrying. It is said to provide physical and emotional balance; keeping one from falling or tripping as well as from falling into emotional traps. Malachite is known for its ability to shield one from negative/ unwanted energies, radiating its energy to saturate our auric field acting as a filter, protecting and purifying. Malachite promotes inner peace, calmness and hope. Being a carrier of yang (male) energy it assists in overcoming self-imposed limitations due to past disappointment and encourages creativity, courage, strength and will power. To experience expansion of the ability to love, wear Malachite touching the skin at the heart chakra. Known as the “sales person’s stone” it is suggested to have the stone at one’s place of business and in the pocket during business meetings. Malachite is also thought to be a “traveler’s stone” guarding travelers from mishap and warning of approaching danger by breaking into pieces, ensuring a safe journey. Additionally Malachite teaches about the cycles of life on Earth in relation to nature, human nature and our place in the cosmos and will relay information and wisdom to seekers. Be advised: Malachite is potentially toxic and should not be ingested. Primary Aspects: Power, Protection, Success Light Ray: Green Element: Fire Chakra: Solar Plexus, Heart Locale: Earthwide; most notably Russia, Romania, Middle East, South Africa, U.S. Genre: Heavy Metal

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Dede Eaton: Specializing in the Primus Activation Healing

Technique since 2007, Dede incorporates her twenty-five plus years of metaphysical study, experience and teaching to offer her clients a safe, non-judgmental space to begin or enhance their journey to healing; physically, emotionally and spiritually. Dede offers a variety of on-going classes and meditation groups as well as private one to one sessions and spiritual events. She has owned and operated The Magick Closet, Purveyor of Spiritual Goods since 2003, now an on-line shop, Magick Heart Healing, her private healing and teaching practice since 2007, is the creator of The Enlightenment Expo, held each Spring and Fall since 2011, is the founder of United Light Workers of Greater Portland and was co-director of Magick Bridges Spiritual Enrichment and Healing Arts Center from November 2011-April 2013. Dede is honored to be on the board of directors of The HeartGlow Center and columnist for Inner Tapestry Journal. She joy-fully resides in Portland ME with her husband, daughter and felines. Please visit her website at: www.themagickcloset.com

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Etheric Surgery for the Advancement of the Soul

Hermetic Qabalah By Valerie Irish

Qabalah is an extremely powerful tool for self transformation, increasing your self awareness, and self empowerment by greater understanding of how one participates as the circumstances of life as it unfolds. It has been called The Yoga of the West and Etheric Surgery for the Advancement of the Soul. Change your thoughts, your attitudes and your actions and in effect change your vibration, what you attract, and your Karma! The phrase above every Mystery School doorway is “Know Thyself”. Qabalah is the key to the door of knowing the self. Qabalah has very practical and real life application once it is understood. This program explores the occult, or hidden knowledge, within the Hermetic Qabalah and the symbology provided within. Symbology speaks directly to the subconscious and bypasses the thinking part of the brain. I have read that we live 90-95% of the time by our subconscious and only 5% of the time are we living our lives consciously. How sad is that? How much more empowered would you feel if you were living your life with an increased awareness and with tools to clear out subconscious self sabotage so you can manifest the life you desire? Qabalah study is usually a 10 to 12 month program depending on the teacher and their teaching style. During that time the student will be introduced to all 10 emanations, or energies, of each individual sephiroth. Included in the study program is the exploration of that aspect of energy in the creation of the self, the God Name, Archangel, Angelic Order as well as the symbology, planetary influences, and archetypes included in the sephiroth. The student is ascended up the Tree of Life with ceremony and ritual, in effect 'locking' the energy in place. As the student experiences the energies of that aspect of the Divine Self they are able to clear out negative behavior patterns and perceptions that no longer serve them. Much like a raindrop is transformed depending on the influences during its fall from the cloud it can become hail, sleet, drizzle, or a snowflake. In its essence it remains water. Subsequent study entails experiencing the energies of the 22 individual paths coming back down the tree, experiencing each energy individually. Each of the 22 paths associated with 1 of the 22 letters of creation which is a Hebrew letter, a Major Arcana tarot card, and either a planetary influence or zodiac sign. It is wisest to have a solid foundation of exploring the stable energy of each individual sephiroth first so that those energies are already incorporated before exploring the flowing energy between sephiroth. We build upon the stable foundation already established in the first part of the program so that it is more manageable and meaningful for the student. To become a student of Qabalah requires work and dedication. You will be challenged and you will be provided many opportunities for change as you travel up and down the Tree of Life. How the student is affected depends on their individual filters, perceptions, self beliefs, and life experiences. It is entirely individual. As a nurse I

am aware that everyone has a different tolerance to painful stimulus and therefore each individual will have a different tolerance to energetic stimulus as well. Whether you choose to remain in the contemplation phase and do nothing or move forward into the action phase and take steps to remove negative patterns in your life and behavior is the student's choice. As a teacher I honor either decision as everyone must walk their own path. I often say 'Everyone in their own time and their own way.' At least you, as the student, will have a greater awareness that there is change to be made and can live with greater purpose and authenticity. Some may say that is it 'hard' or 'difficult' to traverse the tree. I feel those words denote a sense of 'victim-hood' insinuating that one is at the mercy of the energy. Why plant that seed for a student to bring to fruition if that student may not even experience the energy that way? I prefer to use the term 'challenging' as everyone is challenged to grow and face change on a daily basis. Every student can expect to feel challenged when undertaking a new adventure and understand that there is work involved in facing these challenges. I feel this attitude is positive and more empowering and my goal is for students to feel empowered. I like the way these words sound, feel, and are more powerful to envision. Qabalah teaches that as a spark of the Divine we have everything we need, therefore the student has what is needed to overcome any challenges they encounter during the process if they choose to work on them over time. I say 'over time' because change is a dynamic process. There will be progress forward and backwords as the student works to change long-held beliefs and behavior patterns and work toward creating new habits and thought processes. This can take months or even years depending on the individual circumstances. I would also like to remove any vocabulary barriers. People already participate in ceremony and ritual without even realizing it in their day to day lives. There will be ceremony. What is ceremony? Ceremony is gathering in sacred space, setting an intention, raising energy and dispersing it. Much like going to church entails going to sacred space, praying for someone or certain cause, singing/music to raise the energy and then dispersing the congregation. What is ritual? Ritual is performing the same actions in the same order, calling in energy, directing it an releasing it. This is much like what a priest does when consecration the Host and the Wine while during Mass. There will be guided journeys to each sephiroth temple to explore the energy and the symbology of that Divine Emanation. This is similar to meditation. If in reading this article you feel that this does not resonate with you then I have served. You are able to make a decision now. If you feel that you are unsure then I have served you in giving you the information to decide later. If you feel that this is something you are interested in exploring further you can start looking for further information or a teacher now.

Valerie Irish has 18 years experience as a Registered Nurse and nearly 30 years experience in the medical field. She is level 2 certified in: Rainbow, Gendai Reiki-ho and is an Usui-Tibetan Reiki Master. She is a graduate of the Ancient Ways Modern Powers Program with the 7th Ray Mystery School. She studied Celtic Shamanism/Wicca and Ceremonial Mastery in order balance these two different paths of energy. She is a Guide and 3rd step Ceremonial Master in the Mystery School Tradition as well. Valerie is authorized to teach the following classes and seminars from the 7th Ray Mystery School: Gifts of the Spirit Basic®, Astral Travel, Divine Geometry, 24 Strand DNA Activation also known as Adam Kadmon® Activation, Adam Kadmon® 1 day seminar, Shiva Lingam Activation, Alchemy for Everyone, Spells & Charms for Women, Adept I, Energy Basics, Etheric Healing Basic, Ceremonial Master Intro, Adam Kadmon 1 day Seminar, Intro to Qabalah, and Qabalah. Valerie is granted the authority and lineage to provide first-step Adept initiations into the Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Light. www.alokahac.com 15 INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL

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Living in Harmony with the Seasons:

Spring Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) sprang from the observation of Nature and is organized around the interaction of the Nature’s 5 Elements; Water, Wood, Fire, Metal and Earth. Each of these 5 elements is associated with a specific season. According to this model remaining healthy is about keeping these elements in balance and living in harmony with the seasons In Asia they believe Spring begins in February with the Chinese New Year. Here in the west we recognize the Vernal Equinox (March 20) as the first day of Spring. After this year’s harsh Winter many of us are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Spring; that time of renewal when the sap begins to flow and the seeds that have lain dormant beneath a blanket of snow become reactivated. It is their time to break free of Winters icy grip, worm their way up through frosty soil and place their tender green faces in the warm light of the sun. According to TCM, the season “Spring” is represented by the element of Wood, the color Green, the emotion of Anger and the taste of Sour. It’s related organ is the Liver.

Tips for Staying Healthy in Spring Be Aware of your Emotions As the organ responsible for the flow of blood and qi (pronounced “Chee”) energy the liver is most affected by excess stress or emotions. When the liver is healthy the qi flows smoothly and our emotional state will be happy, we will feel kind and generous. When the liver’s qi energy becomes stagnant we become more susceptible to anger, depression, jealousy and envy. Our emotions can be a diagnostic tool. If we are experiencing these darker feelings it could be an indication of liver imbalance.

By Mark Gerardi Eating with the Season One important aspect for staying healthy this Spring is eating right for the liver. Green is the color of the liver and springtime, so eating young plants, sprouts and leafy greens will aid in liver qi flow. Green smoothies make a perfect Spring tonic. It is believed that sour foods calm the body, help ground the emotional charge and support liver health. Some recommendations for liver friendly foods are; bamboo shoots, broccoli rabe, brussel sprouts, dandelion greens, egg plant, fennel, scallions ginger, kiwifruit, lemons, limes, oranges, pickles, tomatoes, and vinegar. Milk thistle tea is also excellent for liver health as it helps protect the liver cells from toxins and encourages the liver to cleanse itself of damaging substances such as medications, alcohol and other harmful toxins. Move your Body Another key to Spring health is being more physically active after the dormancy of Winter. Shoveling snow aside, if you have been relatively inactive, ease back into exercise. Take walks outdoors. The air outside helps the liver qi flow. Enjoy Nature and observe the new growth, the shoots and buds of the changing season. Do gentle movements like Tai Chi, Qigong or Yoga. Exercises that involve turning the trunk are particularly good for the liver. Stretching is important too as the liver controls the tendons. TCM tells us that our strength comes not from our muscles but our tendons. Our agility and flexibility are a result of healthy tendons. The liver stores blood during times of rest and releases it during times of activity, so stretching daily can help maintain the flow of blood and Qi needed for tendon health.

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Look to your Liver The sensory organs associated with the liver are the eyes. If you are having problems with your eyes, be it blurry vision, dry or itchy eyes you may have an imbalance of qi energy in your liver. Bringing the liver back into balance can improve these conditions. One exercise for the eyes includes working the full range of motion by following an infinity symbol or sideways figure eight pattern with your eyes, another blinking rapidly a few times to refresh the eyes. Qigong for the Liver For those unfamiliar with it qigong is a form of moving meditation that synchronizes a series of gentle movements with your breathing to stimulate the qi (life force energy) in your body. It is considered more than an exercise routine. As a part of TCM it is considered a healing art. There are a variety of qigong sequences designed to nourish the wood element and massage the liver. Here are a few simple movements you can try. Massage the Liver The liver is located on the right side of your body. Place your left hand over your ribs to the right of your solar plexus and visualize sending cool energy to your liver as you massage the area in a counterclockwise direction for about 3 minutes.

Energize and Vibrate the Liver With your left hand still over your liver, take a deep breath. As you inhale visualize sending bright green light from your palm to fill the organ with peaceful and compassionate energy. As you exhale make the sound “Shuuu” and tap lightly on your ribs 5 times, visualizing any dark stagnant energy, anger or frustration being released. Annunciating the “Shuuu” sound will cause it to resonate in the throat and chest and combined with the tapping will vibrate the organ stimulating qi flow. Clear the Liver Meridian The meridians are the pathways through which the qi energy in your body travels. Tracing of the liver meridian will help to clear any energetic blocks. Place one hand on either side of the front of your rib cage. Take a deep breath and as you exhale brush downward. (Making the “Shuuu” sound is optional.) When you get to your hips bend over and continue down the inside of the thighs, knees, calf, ankle, then over the top of your foot and off the big toe. Repeat 3-5 times. The liver is responsible for the flow of Qi energy in your body, so for optimum health this Spring, eat green, taste sour, go outdoors and get your Qi moving!

Mark Gerardi is the founder of the Cornerstone Energy Healers certification program. A gifted teacher and powerful energy healer, Mark specializes in pain relief and distance healing. Over the last 25 years Mark has practiced and taught martial arts, meditation & qigong. His formal education in healing has included Shiatsu, Herbalism, Kinetic Chain Release (KCR) and master certifications in multiple styles of Reiki. Mark has also been gifted with channeling the Archangel Michael healing system. To learn more about the many classes and services Mark offers find him on FaceBook or his website www.luminousandhealthy.com

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Traveling with Purpose By Jennie Krasse

Stonehenge

“Stonehenge is still here to remind us to be grounded and present, to use the past as information and not a place to emotionally revisit over and over again.”

I have an obsession with this ring of stones. I’ve been about 2 miles (3 km) west of Amesbury and 8 miles there four times, two times at sunset and two times at (13 km) north of Salisbury.” – I looked at my Father sunrise. Each time holds and said, “I am going its own unique magic and there one day”. experience. Before I get into how amazing this Many people ask how place is let me share with many stones make up the you how this journey actual circle. The began with me. For as consensus is there are long as I can remember I five Sarsen Trilithons dreamed of this stone which gives fifteen large circle, even before I knew Sarsen stones. The outer of its existence. My ring of Sarsens was Father likes to tell the planned to contain thirty story of how one morning uprights and thirty lintels, when I was four or five so that is 75 worked years old (he can’t Sarsens in total. There are remember), I sat down at four Sarsens outside the the breakfast table, center: two Station Stonehenge a few minutes to Sunrise July 2012 grabbed a piece of toast Stones, the Slaughter – Copyright Jennie Krasse and promptly said to him “I dreamed Stone, and the Heel Stone. There about a stone circle last night, big tall stones with hats are stone holes for other stones matching these, another and they live across the ocean on an Island!” My two station stones, a matching Slaughter Stone, and a Father, being the man he is, smiled and said, “well, that paired hole to the Heel Stone. There is the Altar Stone, must have been something to see.” We chatted about the origin unknown, and many bluestones and bluestone stones some more and the day went on as usual. This holes. There are 29 bluestones that are still visible, but scene played out several more times over the years until the original number is estimated to be around 80. They finally my Father got down the Encyclopedia – opened have been shuffled around the holes so it is hard to be up to a picture –- to Stonehenge and asked me if this is sure, but it is a reasonable estimate. So, Stonehenge may the circle with hats I keep dreaming about. I nodded and have had up to 165 stones originally. read the description: “Stonehenge is a prehistoric monument located in Wiltshire, England,

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Over the years, I read and studied and discovered that this circle is astrologically aligned to the Solstice, Equinox, and Lunar cycles. The more I read the more I felt a pull to go – so one year a friend and I went with a travel group to Glastonbury – we chose this group specifically because they promised we could have an hour to ourselves inside the circle. I remember as we drove from the airport – all of us asleep on the bus exhausted from travel, then suddenly we all were awake all at the same time. This “waking up” happened as soon as the tour bus came near Stonehenge. You could feel the energy so intensely – I remember 22 faces pressed against the glass in awe and wonder.

got louder, and all the hair on my arms and neck started to stand up. The chanting I heard made me breathe in rhythm with what I was hearing, walking in tempo.

The circle draws you in – you feel like you are coming into a spiral of energy as it pulls you closer. Peaceful and Powerful are the two words that came to me. The energy is intense, but if you simply get into the flow. It’s an incredible adventure. I think if my cat had been allowed to go with me she would have found a nice place right in the middle of the stones, rolled around in the grass, maybe have a conversation with the Druids, chase the Fairies and then settle in for a nice long nap on one of the fallen rocks, heated in the Stonehenge Sunset July 2010 sunshine.

A few days later when the tour made its way to Stonehenge it was after dinner – we had – Copyright Jennie Krasse a sunset time slot. Today motorways run next to the stones and I was Although there are several theories wondering would that take away from the experience about its origins – truth be told no one truly knows – the noise and traffic. As you approach these and maybe that mystery is the greatest gift the stones magnificent stones – you notice that the traffic noise give us. Stonehenge, to me, is a place for respite and starts to disappear, in fact, it seems to be the entire healing. Stonehenge is still here to remind us to be motorway simply veiled itself as you got closer to grounded and present, to use the past as information the stones. Everyone’s experience is different. For and not a place to emotionally revisit over and over me, I started to hear deep male voices chanting in again. These stones are the gateway to anything you harmony. Black birds started coming, sitting on the want to imagine them to be. Take the journey. top of the stones as the group approached, the voices

Jennie Krasse, International Tour Consultant Jennie has an extensive background in group ritual and energy work. She is of Romany-Gypsy, Czech and Scottish descent. Currently she lives in Maine, lectures, teaches and conducts consultation for clients and businesses throughout the United States. She has traveled on several sacred sites tours specializing in group energy work and earth connections. Sacred Travel Tour Information – www.nualacenter.com

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The Cosmic Dance

By Lady Deane

Spring Fling Some “sky-talk” about the dance just above your head. As we all attempt to “Spring Forward” now, I’d like to take a few moments to talk about some planetary energies that may change the tempo of the dance just a little. In the “big picture” news, March and April feature 2 eclipses that offer their own themes, which I talked about in my first article on the Eclipses of 2015 (please see the January issue of the Inner Tapestry Journal for a review of eclipses). But the Spring Fling really officially begins with the Spring Equinox on March 21st. This is when the Sun enters the sign of Aries the Ram. Aries lends its energies to moving things forward and wants us to focus on our personal plans and goals; but there are also aspects at work now that suggest that we have to fit them into a larger context. In other words, we have to be true to ourselves while also maintaining our connections to others. Each year, the Sun’s entrance into Aries renews our energy and drive and reminds us that we can still rededicate ourselves now to whatever makes us excited to be alive. Ask yourself what you feel passionately about….what gets your juices flowing…..what makes you feel alive. That’s where you should be putting your time and energy. And, by the way, in Chinese Astrology, February 19th began the Chinese New Year. Each year the Chinese honor an animal whose energies represent the prevailing themes for the year. 2015 is the Year of the Sheep (also called the Goat or the Ram in some places). Last year was the Year of the Horse, and many of us had to run at top speed just to keep up with things. This year however, the Sheep rules and the overall energy will be slower and gentler. Because sheep always travel together, group projects and working with others to form consensus and community will become important. We all need to band together now to help one another. This year our success is greater (and possibly sweeter) if we’re part of a support group.

As we move into Spring, several retrograding planets will also be joining the dance. For instance, Saturn has been retrograding (from Sagittarius back into Scorpio) since March 14th and will not go direct again until August 1st. This may cause some delays for people with respect to career, real estate, authority figures and aging parents. Also, your “just do it” attitude may not be quite up to the task. When Saturn is retrograde, just being able to get things done requires more time and patience than you had planned on. However, give projects the time and expertise required, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what you can accomplish. Speaking of experts—Saturn rules them—so if you need one to do the job right the first time, hire one. Otherwise, you’ll just end up doing it all over again. And no one wants that. On his best day, Saturn travels slowly and so will not reach the last degrees of Scorpio until June and July. And as it does so, the plot will thicken (objects in your rear view mirror may suddenly loom much larger!). Scorpio is a deeply penetrating sign and the emotions stirred up during that time may be intense. Saturn in Scorpio has been known to bring up issues of sexuality and if there are any sexual abuse issues you need to deal with, this can be a very healing time. Another theme that may surface is fatherhood. Indeed, authority in general becomes a complex issue—particularly if you’re not the one in charge. So from March thru August expect to be working things out with “dad” (literal or figurative), or with your boss at work, or with the powers that be in general. Anyone who represents authority to you now (even the government), can become a target for your power/control issues from the past; or you can choose to dissolve past issues by recognizing them for what they are and dealing with them (as opposed to projecting them). Remember that the ultimate goal here is not to overthrow the government. The ultimate goal is to become your own authority and to understand exactly what it means to be a grownup (even when you’re the only one in the room who is).

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Personally, I have found that the best thing to do with Saturn in Scorpio is to respect my elders and recognize their positive contribution to my life. While the worst thing you could probably do now is to get angry at your parents or grandparents for aging—especially if you are involved in their care at all (because while Saturn is retrograde it is likely that someone older than you may need your help). Remember, it’s not their fault they got old. God willing, one day you’ll get old too! Ask yourself how you’d like to be treated. In addition to aging relatives, we may also notice the toll time has taken on us. Saturn in Scorpio can bring up issues of our own aging process, and we may need to readjust some of the expectations we have of ourselves. Remember the lessons of the Year of the Sheep and be patient and gentle with yourself. Surely you deserve kindness and compassion just as much as anyone else in your life. Mercury (the planet ruling communications) will be retrograde from about May 19th thru June 10th. Many people seem to be apprehensive when they hear of Mercury’s retrograde (I get letters). Well, fear not! Following a few simple guidelines will make this time just as productive as any other time. When any planet retrogrades, it appears to be slowing down in its orbit, and that’s exactly what we should be doing, too. Retrogrades are simply a time to take your time with things, stop all the rushing around, and focus inward instead of outward. Some things do go better than others now, and because Mercury rules communications of all kinds, the slow down period is generally considered a poor time to sign major or long-term contracts (for homes, cars, leases etc.) or to purchase major electronics (such as TVs, computers, phones). So this retrograde may see people struggling to implement new technology, or having to deal with outdated technology. Repairing or replacing electronics now is a good idea. In addition, this particular retrograde is mainly in the sign of communications—Gemini. So, in our personal or professional relationships we may find that we either misunderstand others or they misunderstand us. Make sure that your communication is clear and concise now

and make extra sure that what you said (or wrote in an email) is exactly what was heard or intended. Leave enough time for everyone to be heard in meetings. Agreements should be revisited at this time, and may be revised if needed. And do keep in mind that not every topic is appropriate to be discussed by email. Some things still require face-to-face discussion. Your main focus during a retrograde should be on completing projects already begun and working behind the scenes to troubleshoot your previous efforts. Mercury retrograde is a great time to focus your efforts on the “re” words as in: redo, rework, rewrite, renew, rebuild, repurpose, re-evaluate, review, return, redirect, renegotiate, remind, rewind…you get the general idea. Mercury’s energy is focused privately rather than publicly during its retrograde phase, so launching new products or services just doesn’t generally work out like we planned it. But finishing up old projects or fixing what’s not working goes better. See things through to the end. Research also works especially well now, as you can uncover things previously hidden. Getting organized (or reorganizing) and working quietly and diligently to perfect your process gets you ahead in the long run. And if necessity dictates that you do sign contracts at this time —because let’s face it, life has a tendency to just keep happening regardless of Mercury’s phases—be sure to read the fine print first. In other words: know exactly what you’re getting into. The retrograde energy of any planet requires us to look in the mirror and transform ourselves, rather than others. So during your own personal “Spring Fling” remember to stop and look within. Taking time for reflection now can clear the debris away so that we can move forward into our year with confidence. What will you choose to transform in your own life this year? Your career? Your relationships? Your spiritual journey? In the end, remember, it’s only a dance. It keeps us on our toes to learn a few new steps every now and again. So play, laugh, be kind, and keep on dancing. Then look up and thank your lucky stars.

Deane Driscoll is a professional astrologer with over 22 years experience in New York, California, Maine, and North Carolina; and holds elder clergy credentials as Lady Deane with CoG (Covenant of the Goddess). She offers natal chart readings as well as classes in astrology, card reading, and other metaphysical topics. She also creates custom meditations for clients, concentrating on a specific area of focus. Some examples include: limitless possibilities, a new career path, prosperity, love, health and wellbeing; as well as overall relaxation and stress reduction. Visit her website at www.deanedriscoll.com or email her at deanemae@juno.com for more information.

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Caregiver Diaries

with Carolyn Murray

For the Love of Sev

I met Nanett Prausa in 1999 when our boys were babies and we were both part of an email listserv for parents of children with microcephaly. Through that forum we could talk to other parents on a daily basis about feeding problems, seizure treatment, growth and vision issues. It was a great way to pool the collective wisdom about how to care for babies and children with neurological challenges. We became even closer friends when Nan and family moved from Texas to Florida in 2003. Nan’s husband, Randy, was in active military duty with the Navy at the time, and I was a single mom, so we were able to spend some free time together. Her Sevi and my Daniel were born just months apart, and soon after I moved to a different home, the boys started attending Pre K together in an elementary school near the beach. Nan knew during her pregnancy with triplets that Sev, or Baby B as they called him) would be born with the potential for severe developmental disability and neurological problems. He was not developing along the same patterns as his two sisters, Peyton and Alex. They told her and Randy at week twenty of her pregnancy that Sev was microcephalic. Doctors offered selective reduction as an option for them. Eliminating Baby B from the equation would put to rest concerns about his development. The Prausas could finish the pregnancy with twin girls and never have to worry about the baby with the question mark tied to his future. Nan and Randy looked at each other and knew it was not happening. She says that they never even discussed it, and when it was brought up they changed the subject every time. She was shocked to even hear abortion mentioned, because they had waited so long for the pregnancy. This baby, Baby B, would be included in their lives, no matter what challenges came with him. She tells me that she and Randy made a

conscious decision very early on that Sev would not be defined by his disabilities. She says, “We couldn’t get away from the reality, but we could limit the limitations.” Two years after the triplets were born; Nan and Randy had a surprise baby boy that they named Chase. Nan joked when he was small that he lived up to his name, always running and playing at high speed. With triplets and a little boy to keep occupied, they spent a lot of time out of the house finding fun, active things to do. When Sev was three, Nan and her mom headed out with the four kids to a water park on a beautiful, sunny day. Every water park has a slide, and this was no exception. It was her mom’s idea for Sev to experience it, and she found a way to make it happen. “We climbed that huge hill with many eyes on us. It felt like the world stopped just to see those two women with the little boy in the wheelchair take on that mountain. We made it to the top, and I got on the mat. Mom handed him to me, we got settled and off we went. About halfway down I realized we hadn’t really thought about the end. The splash. The pool. But his smile was huge and his laugh was heaven and I knew it would work out. We did splash big. He did go under the water a bit. But when the wave cleared, he was still smiling and I knew we could conquer mountains if the adults in his life were willing to keep an open mind and try.” “My philosophy is to try things. It may not work out, but that’s true for everyone,” she says. Hearing her tell that story impacted the way I approach things with my own son. It’s funny how one day in the park can have such a ripple effect when you’re talking about creating a meaningful life for a child with profound disabilities.

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Living so close to Orlando means that trips to Disney many invitations that very few come in now. People just World are a favorite for the Prausas. Nan shared this assume we won’t be able to make it. Our days are story with me, and I think it paints a pretty good picture dictated by his needs and his medical concerns. We are of how they roll. on pins and needles often with his seizures. I can see “The triplets were six and Chase was four. After a that from the outside it does seem incredibly round on Test Track at Epcot, Sev threw up. He never overwhelming. Truth be told, from the inside it is as throws up on rides. The kids handled it well, although it well. But he’s our son. Our little boy. He’s the life we did cause a big scene. He was already having trouble hoped and prayed for all those years. There are very few with bowel movements, so we went back to the hotel mountains we wouldn’t gladly move for him and even and gave him the chance to have one with no luck. We fewer moments we wouldn’t gladly spend helping him were already worried, and since he had thrown up with get through his day. no good reason, we knew we needed to go home. We Nan teaches fifth grade at the elementary school called them in and explained our concern and the need where both of our boys attended from pre-K to fifth to be near our home hospital, not three hours away if grade. In those days she could easily look in on them Sev got sick. We told them we needed to leave that night and keep me aware of the behind the scenes goings ons. and wouldn’t be Together, we made sure spending the next day at the two were included Animal Kingdom.” with the rest of the “I braced myself for student population as what I pictured the four often as they could. and six year old This meant responses would be to participation in music giving up a night in a class and in special hotel and a day at programs that their Disney. I was prepared typically developing for tears and anger and peers were in. The sadness and arguments. MOVE (Mobility All I got was concern Opportunities Via and help. They Education) program at immediately began to their school made sure gather their stuff. We they were up walking left the hotel without and using standers The Prausa Family any drama at all. They throughout the day. knew Sev needed this Both boys made huge and they gladly did it. I still get teary eyed to this day. I strides with their motor skills in this program. had never been so impressed with three little ones in my Elementary school was a great period for all of us. life. Through the years, we’ve had lots of benefits and One summer ten years ago, Nan and I took our kids lots of drawbacks due to Sev’s concerns. They know it to a Joni and Friends camp near our homes in Florida. just comes with the territory and they enjoy the good We stayed in a hotel just a few doors down from one and move on, away from the bad. It’s hopefully another. The JAF camps are for families of kids with something that will follow them through their lives.” disabilities. It was formed by Joni Erickson Tada, a Nan says, “I hear all the time from others that there is quadriplegic, with the intention of giving parents some no way they could do what I do. I find that incredibly respite time in a family setting. During the day hard to believe. I don’t want to belittle the life before us volunteers took Daniel and Sev and our other kids for at all. Being the parent of a child/adult with profound activities while Nan and I ate breakfast, walked the care needs is an exhausting, never-ending job. We get beach and just enjoyed each other. When you’re with very little sleep, our time is rarely our own, our muscles Nan, you laugh a lot, because she finds some humor in are weary and our backs hurt. We’ve turned down so just about everything.

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The temperatures were in the nineties that week, and when we weren’t at a camp event with the rest of the attendees, we spent our time in one of the two pools at the hotel. Our boys were still small enough for us to carry onto slides and give them the chance to feel the smooth flight down and the cool splashes at the bottom. I’m usually one to tuck Daniel in early, but that week we all stayed up past ten o’clock every night letting other kids enjoy the pool under the moonlight. Having that shared family time with the two of us rooming so close together was unforgettable and rejuvenating. We often talk about the idea of a special needs village where we and our close friends can live near one another to share support and community. Our original online group splintered off as seven of us worked on scrapbooks called circle journals in 2004. We each chose a theme, mailed to the next person on the list until it circled back to us with completed pages from each mother. We call ourselves the Molehill Moms, with the idea that we try to make the mountains in our lives into something manageable rather than blowing things out of proportion (mountains into molehills). We’ve stopped scrapbooking, but occasionally will send a notebook around for a diary of what’s happening in our lives apart from the online things we share. Over the years we’ve become extremely close. It’s where we turn for understanding from those that know us well. Nan says it’s her sounding board and biggest source of support beyond family. I agree. We are spread out from coast to coast, so our village is limited to our computers and smart phones most of the time. Still, it’s a very concrete network that sustains us all. The teen years brought some changes. Both boys needed outside physical therapy to help with muscle spasticity they’d never had before, and to work on regression in walking skills that happened gradually after they left the MOVE program in elementary school.

“I used to believe Sev would be about five times behind his sisters and we’d just have to be patient. It took years to learn that it doesn’t work that way. His brain isn’t wired for the more complex skills and he eventually slowed dramatically and then stopped gaining. Now we’re just working to keep the skills we had. Puberty was difficult and we saw a huge back slide in abilities. That was a hard pill for me to swallow because they were so limited to begin with.” None of that has kept them down, though. Last year the whole family drove to New York City for the first time, and braved the streets and subways with Sev in his wheelchair. Let that sink in. They drove 1,000 miles with four kids for an adventure in a city they’d never been to before. They took the subway with a teenager who cannot climb stairs. They are not afraid to take risks and see how it all plays out, and they’re willing to change plans if it looks like things won’t go well. Despite daily seizures that are severe, they keep on planning and doing. Both Nan and Randy (a now retired Navy Chief) aren’t afraid to live life on the move with Sev at the center of it all.

Carolyn Murray is a registered nurse and writer. Over the past twenty years she has written articles for Nursing Magazine, The American Journal of Nursing and various online forums. In 1994 ARE Press published her book, Walking the Spiritual Walk, a record of her own experiences in relationships, work and life. Carolyn began writing about parenting and disability in 1998 after the birth of her son, Daniel, who has multiple disabilities related to a rare brain disorder. She loves hearing from others engaged in extreme parenting, and welcomes your emails. She can be reached at holisticnurse82@yahoo.com. Carolyn lives in Florida with her family.

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Transforming toward transcendence The shamanic journey is an ancient method for exploring hidden realms beyond the limits of our senses and our ordinary perceptions of time-space. The journey functions as a bridge between our everyday state of awareness and an expanded state that provides access to deeper worlds of consciousness, which hold the wisdom of Nature, of the ancestors and of transcendent spirit beings. Practiced by people for tens of thousands of years, it is based in the understanding that everything has a spirit or consciousness that can be available for communication and relationship. In the journey, our brain emits waves in the high alpha/ theta range and activity shifts more into the right hemisphere. During this process our imagination is heightened as is our intuition, creativity and abilities to problem-solve and synthesize information. This state assists in creating new connections between neurons. In other words, shamanic trance assists the brain in producing new connections. This being said, perhaps it is not so much that shamanism is a part of our ancient way of relating to the world around us, it is what helped us to understand ourselves (self awareness), our relationship with the world, enabled us to remember the past and ponder our future. In other worlds, shamanic trance states contributed in creating us as a species. In addition, there are physiological and psychological benefits that occur when individuals enter trance that have been observed by scientists. Not the least of these includes a better immune response. With continued practice, these beneficial effects also become more sustained even while in ordinary awareness. To accomplish healing or other duties while in the shamanic state of consciousness, a shaman must develop relationships with helpful, protective spirits as well as with the spirits of nature. These strong, reciprocal bonds allow for a temporary transfer of power while the shaman is needed to assist an individual or her or his INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL

community. This “borrowed” power from the spirits moves through the shaman for the task at hand. During this transfer of power, the shaman often merges with a spirit to receive protection from unbeneficial energies. The shaman is able to merge with a trusted spiritual ally because a relationship based upon reverent participation has been nourished. That entails being willing to engage with the spirit to find out their name, what they like, what they want in return for their help and how the relationship may be healthily maintained. In many ways, the rules that apply in a mutually respectful and beneficial human relationship are also applicable when dealing with the spirits. The one caveat being that since a spirit is, in some ways, stronger and potentially more “wild” than the shaman, a deeper level of respect is paid through offerings and rituals to keep the energy of the spirit more manageable for the shaman’s physical limitations. When merged, a shaman is transformed into a blended being. The human shaman surrenders the egoic self so that the spiritual ally, who may be an animal, bird, natural force or elemental spirit, can move through the shaman’s body. While transformed in this way, the shaman can be kept safe in situations as diverse as healing a possessed person, working near a battlefield, or dealing with the psychic energies left from a homicide or other potentially dangerous situations. Since the spirit being is nonphysical, the action of merging allows the ally an opportunity to experience the physical world—to be able to move, sniff, eat, and otherwise relish the delights of the body—as a part of its cooperation with the shaman. It involves a blending of energies, consciousness, and on some occasions an actual change in physical form. The spiritual ally and the shaman each become something more for a little while. There is a magical quality to this experience that erases perceptions of separateness. 25 Spring 2015

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Perhaps that is why shamans believe with complete confidence that we are one with everything. Their journeys and their work with the spirits of nature and their spiritual allies have transformed them. The deep kinship they share with other beings allows them to assume each other’s shape and garner each other’s wisdom. Through journeying and through their spiritual interactions, those that practice shamanism have firsthand experience of that which unites all life. As a result, they come away with a different perspective. The illusionary barriers that separate humans from the natural world and the cosmos fall away so that it becomes possible to relate in the way of our most ancient ancestors. That is, with a sense of humble reverence and with feelings of deep and profound spiritual connectedness with “all our relations.” Interestingly, while this perspective has roots in our collective past, it is also the very experience that can move the evolution of consciousness forward. Performing shamanic journeys and merging with beneficial beings of power also transforms everyday life. The mental and physiological changes the shaman experiences during the journey state and the profound connections they have while in that state of awareness assists the shaman in attaining a higher-level transformation of consciousness. While everyone may not choose the path of the shaman, developing reverent participatory relationships with spiritual allies, with other human beings and with nature, every person can begin to open up her or his ultimate, transcendent human potential. You see, all of us are wired to transcend our ordinary experience of being human. Because of our remarkable biology, the power of our feelings, and the eternal nature of our spirits, we are designed to evolve beyond our perceived limitations into fully conscious, loving creator

beings. At this time, there is an ever-growing group of people who are engaged in this transformation. Since we are connected through the nonlocal field, we can energetically support one another’s spiritual evolution. Through disciplined practice we can effect transformations in every aspect of our life, and these internal changes make big changes in the world around us. As Sandra Ingerman and her association of teachers repeatedly demonstrate in the Medicine for the Earth work, we humans are capable of producing concrete, measurable miracles, such as healing polluted water, simply through the action of transforming ourselves. Physicists now describe a quantum fabric of light that underlies all of creation. Of course, this is not simply the familiar light of the electromagnetic spectrum but what another physicist, Mark Comings, PhD refers to as a primordial, unifying “Sea of Radiance,” in which everything exists. Indeed, Comings suggests that all matter—everything that we understand as physical--is actually a kind of “crystalized” or “condensed” light and consciousness is what directs its form. For those of you who haven’t yet learned to journey, what follows here is a meditation that you can do to experience yourself as an aspect of that magnificent radiance. This practice produces a healing effect in yourself and throughout your world. It is an opportunity to step into your fullness as a sacred human being who is both divinely physical and divinely radiant! As you become more unshakable in the awareness of your extraordinary nature, you transcend old definitions of yourself and move closer to becoming a new, more powerful human being. There is a free mp3 audio file of this meditation available at www.myspiritwalk.com titled, “You are the Light of All That Is.” Before you listen to the recording, prepare yourself by reading the meditation through a few times.

Exercise: You Are the Light of All That Is Meditation 1. While comfortably seated, close your eyes and take a few moments to breathe. Allow your breaths to be both quiet and full—somewhat like the breaths of the deep sleep state. 2. As you begin to more fully relax, notice that your breath originates in the center of your chest. Imagine a light there that grows brighter with every breath you take. 3. As this light grows brighter, see it also expanding to fill your entire body—growing ever brighter. 4. Allow your light to expand so that your physical body is completely filled with light. 5. While continuing to breathe notice how your radiant body is connected to the radiant body of the Earth. Your body is held by your light and is always cradled by the Earth. 26 INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL

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6. Allow yourself to reach out even further and feel how the Sun’s radiance embraces the Earth as she embraces you in her loving warmth. Allow all your senses to be fully enlivened by this nurturance. 7. You are a divine and magnificent aspect of All That Is. You and everything else are radiant. 8. Invite your beloved power animal to join you and reveal its radiance to you. If any thoughts or feelings arise that limit your light, invite your power animal to help you to release them gently. These limitations fall away effortlessly like leaves blowing in the wind. As this happens, your light blazes brighter so that you are completely transformed into pure light! 9. Now in your full illumination, allow yourself to play together with your radiant power animal. Dance together as two sacred beings of light. 10. Every bit of your being is luminous, beautiful, and dazzling! 11. Allow your power animal to help you to perceive the center of the light of All That Is—the radiant source of All. You are a sacred part of Creation—no more or less important than any other part. Let yourself fully experience that your life is an aspect of that radiance dancing on the Earth. Your beautiful body is pure, crystallized radiance! 12. Your radiance is a healing force, and your Earthly body is a sacred temple infused with that light—shining on all the beings around you. Your soul’s pure, exquisite light renews your body and renews the world around you to its magnificence. Allow yourself to feel harmony. Feel peace. Fill with the love for All That Is. 13. Let yourself fill to overflowing. As you become replete with harmony, peace, and love, more light naturally pours forth from your body in all directions. Like a glorious fountain, endless light enters you from All That Is. At the same time, your radiance pours a luminous nourishment back to all beings. You are being filled and pouring forth simultaneously—in a beautiful circle of energy. 14. When you feel complete with this, give thanks to your power animal and allow yourself to gently move your body. 15. Breathe deeply and begin to slowly return your attention to the room in which you are sitting. 16. Gently bring your full awareness back to ordinary reality. You hold the feelings of your light and gratitude as you take another full, deep, sighing breath. 17. When you feel ready, gently open your eyes—feeling renewed, refreshed, and radiant. Practice this state of being as often as possible to experience your connectedness through the Fabric of Light. This state of awareness contributes to shifting your perceptions and so your reality. In experiencing your vast, radiant self and how you are inexorably connected to all beings, you will also be renewing not only your own body, but contributing to transforming the environment around you, helping to bring balance and harmony to the life-forms, the soil, the water, and the air of our beautiful planet. I certainly can’t imagine a better action to take for celebrating the unfolding season of Spring!

© 2015 Evelyn Rysdyk

Nationally recognized shaman teacher/healer, speaker, and author of Spirit Walking a Course in Shamanic Power, A Spirit Walker’s Guide to Shamanic Tools, Modern Shamanic Living: New Explorations of an Ancient Path, and contributor to Spirited Medicine: Shamanism in Contemporary Healthcare; Evelyn Rysdyk delights in supporting people to remember their sacred place in All That Is. Whether through face-to-face contact with individual patients, workshop groups and conference participants, or through the printed word–Evelyn uses her loving humor and passion to open people’s hearts and inspire them to live more joyful, fulfilling and purposeful lives. In joint practice with Allie Knowlton as Spirit Passages, their web site is http://www.spiritpassages.com.

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Suzanne Silvermoon’s

Listen to your guidance The yogic life is one of constant practice whether on the mat or off. It is a life of willingly turning our gaze inward in honest self-inquiry. The reward of this journey is full acceptance of oneself, and enduring self-love. The practice of yoga gives one the fortitude to hang out in intense places with the grace that is cultivated by deep and balanced breathing. We learn through the practice of asana (yoga postures) that we can gently move into and eventually through perceived challenges with the power that comes to us through deep and balanced breathing. This breath, in Sanskrit called “Prana� or life, allows us to open up to a new level of acceptance. With the deep and balanced breathing nurtured through the practice of yoga, our whole body system is infused with an abundance of LIFE! We willingly throw off the blinders of self-denial, and honestly, compassionately and loving see ourselves in truth. How can we ever know what is real, if we are constantly glossing over the surface, laughing off our failures, or dwelling in a state of lack consciousness? Steadfast self-inquiry is the key to gaining the freedom from the negative dragons that pull us down. Release and transcendence from these dragons is the end result.

self-inflicted pain caused by our desire for things to be different than they are. Dwelling in acceptance we are free and unattached to outcomes and able to clearly see the truth as well as the creative path outstretched before us. Though the unfolding drama of life is not always smooth, when we stay in the place of the witness we remain open to our truth, able to see clearly what actions are in the highest good of all concerned, and act boldly from our clear perceptions and authenticity.

Through practice, we are able to remain in the place of the witness and meet our perceived challenges with renewed curiosity and grace. The tremendous life lessons learned by taking yet another breath in Virabhadrasana II (Warrior II Pose) to discover this grace, reminds us that when we are faced with a life challenge that threatens our state of balance, the breath is the key to opening our mind to the possibility of acceptance. With acceptance, we release resistance, which translates into the release of

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and negative perception. From this observant place, a conscious choice can be made to align with a greater expansive perception. Through direct, loving, compassionate and honest perception, we cultivate the courage needed to follow an inner compass that will always navigate us to the perfect place at the perfect moment to take the perfect action in the drama of life.

The beauty of living in honesty and authenticity gives one the clarity to listen to the inner guidance. The peaceful balance achieved through dedicated practice affords one the strength and courage to follow this guidance. The inner practices of yoga which include yogic breathing, controlling the senses, contemplation, and meditation leads us to a place of rich understanding of the true nature of our being. And, the true nature of each and everybody else’s being. As Jesus taught us, “Be still and know that I am”, and as the great yogic saint, Ramana Maharishi reminded us “All that is required to realize the Self is to “Be Still.” I Am. Simply and magnificently, I Am. There is a beautiful Sanskrit mantra that takes this just a bit farther. Sat Aham Prema, which means divine love is the truth of who I am.

Diving into the stillness where the busy mind quiets allows us to hear the promptings of higher consciousness. Remaining observant and objective has afforded me the opportunity to witness the subtle guideposts prompting me to choose a path that may not always seem like the most logical or even the easiest. The whispers from the causal plane provided affirmations upon inklings of ideas motivating me to trust the inner compass. It was these very signs and whispers combined with a whole array of synchronicities, guiding my latest bold move to follow the path laid before me. An opportunity to step into a much larger arena of yogic teaching was offered to me. So, after nearly 20 years of living in Maine, I have taken the giant step to move to Seattle Washington and embrace this opportunity. By remaining in the place of the witness, and releasing any resistance, I was able to take this giant leap of faith, which drew me away from all that was comfortable and familiar to do the work of the Divine.

Try these statements on and see how they make you feel: 1. I am a conscious being of loving expression in complete union with the very fabric of the universe. 2. I am an instrument of the Divine who puts all of my resources, experiences, mastery, and wisdom to use in the unfolding drama of life. 3. I am the eyes, ears, heart, and voice for the creative flow, and in service to the One. It is through this wondrous and ancient practice of yoga, and more specifically, the inner practices, that cultivate an observant mind, and quiets the echoing voice of the ego that often dwells in a state of lack

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The decision to make this move was mixed with excitement for the new journey and the amazing work ahead, coupled with the challenge of leaving behind all that was familiar and dear to my heart. With tearful and heartfelt goodbyes to my many loves in Maine, I embarked upon a cross-country drive with my fiancé, Dennis. At every state line our progress was marked with Yoga postures, while listening to the inner guidance and believing in the potency of its message. Your inner guidance may not be asking you to make a cross country move such as I did. Maybe the guidance is to embark on a new educational opportunity. Perhaps you’ve been working as an engineer, and have a sudden desire to go to cooking school. Or, an opportunity arises for an exotic adventurous vacation, or a tremendous desire to learn a new instrument. It could also be as simple as an inner prompting to take a different route home from work, which allows you to find a beautiful out of the way garden center. How do you know you can trust your inner guidance? Ask yourself “Is this action I wish to take for the highest good of all concerned?” Once this question is asked, we must then be patient and objective with the answers that begin to flood in. Initially, the answer to your question may be “Yes”. However, this yes may only be coming from your individual ego’s desire that feels satisfied as the action in question may be serving you in your individual pursuits. So, be careful not to jump at the first “Yes” response you hear. Explore in contemplation, and deeply listen from the objective observer. How will this action affect your life mate, your extended family, your children’s friends, your local community? The inner practices that have steadied the mind gives us the

patience needed to ask these important questions, and listen for the truthful answers. Expanding our awareness outward from our individual desires helps to clarify the whispers from the causal plane. If our action is in support of a broader cause and more altruist nature, then more and more we will hear “Yes” to our inner inquires. Another way to confirm our guidance is by observing signs and synchronicities. If our desire is supported by inexplicable support coming to us with no effort on our part, then we can be assured that forces on the causal plane are assisting us in manifesting our dream. There may be a sudden unexpected resource that manifests, a person will step forward with just the right piece of information needed to help further forward motion on the path, burdens that seemed to be holding us back will easily be lifted. Often following our inner guidance will prompt a dramatic change from the way we have been living our life. Change means transformation, which requires energy, clarity, strength, endurance and courage. It may seem easier to stay the course that we have been walking, but if there is a yearning for something different, greater, or with more harmony and resonance for us beckoning, this just may be our guidance encouraging a shift. If you suddenly have the opportunity to move across the country to do something completely different than you have been doing for the last many years, take the time to ask this question: Is this my inner guidance? Is this in the highest good for all concerned? If you are seeing the signs and synchronicities, and if you’re whole body, mind and spirit is saying, “Yes”. Then listen to your guidance.

Suzanne Silvermoon, Pediatric Nurse, Cert. Yoga Therapy Practitioner, teacher and speaker. Suzanne’s centered, skillful, compassionate and nurturing teaching style draws from her 35 years of personal yoga practice and study. She fosters peace, safety and ease with personal exploration in her yoga classes, private yoga therapy sessions, and workshops. She expertly weaves proper alignment, physical anatomy and the energetic flow of prana to guide her students in the multidimensional aspects of the human experience through yoga. Suzanne is a faculty teacher for YOGAspirit Studios and Kerala Ayurveda Academy. FMI: www.indigolotusyoga.com

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Enjoying the sensational articles in Inner Tapestry? Please donate. Your contribution in any amount is greatly appreciated.

Donate Now celebrate, integrate, rejuvenate mind, body & soul The HeartGlow Center is a 501c3 nonprofit public charity dedicated to conscious living and honoring the sacred Light which shines within us all. We provide holistic education, spiritual renewal, practical resources, and support to assist you in living your best life. We lovingly recognize and celebrate the journey of the human spirit through life’s unique circumstances and provide a sanctuary of love and understanding for all. Our numerous programs focus on individual and family health and wellbeing, as well as recognition and support for family caregivers and those affected by chronic illness or disability. The HeartGlow Center is a 501c3 Nonprofit Charitable Organization Registered and Incorporated in the State of Maine. All donations to our public charity are deductible under section 170 of the Internal Revenue Code Federal EIN 45-4991077

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A New Found Safety How do you currently define “security”? If you look around in this present moment what are you plugged into that gives you the greatest sense of security? Take a moment and reflect on this question. The first thing you might tune into is your current job or career. It supports you and brings in an income which provides a level of security for you. You might also answer with your house, your family, your partner, your children, your car, and your friends. Your life line may be plugged into your bike, your clothes, your books, or even your dog. Last night I had a conversation with a woman who told me her new safety in life was her phone. She mentioned that it used to be smoking. That smoking was a lifeline that gave her a sense of safety and rootedness. Since she gave up smoking three years ago her new life line has become her cell phone. She has become so reliant on her phone that she had to hire a business coach to help her strategize how she can be less dependent on her cell phone. She shared that it never occurred to her that she did not need to carry her phone downstairs with her to do laundry. It never occurred to her that she could actually leave her phone in one room while she went into another room. I mean what if she missed a call or missed a message? Her new security was now her telephone as well as needing to be available for others. I use to be plugged into my career and job title as my security. I was a pediatric speech language pathologist for over 15 years and my life line was my expertise within this profession. I felt safe and secure in this role. I knew how to do it and do it well. My self image was deeply rooted into the profession. It was never about the money. I did not hold attachment to the money as a level of security. It was the job title and the wide range of unusual experiences I had within the profession that really made me an expert within the realms of the medical and educational worlds. Upon INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL

reflection I realize that my top two securities were my job title and my expertise. They were my two safety nets. I also held a third security. This was in my friendships and how I prided myself with friendships that were born out of what I “did” for them. I had created this self imposed security that I MUST be liked and if I did nice and great things for people than I would be liked and have lots of friends. I had plugged into this pattern as a level of security for myself. It made me feel safe to know I was liked. So my top three safety nets were: 1.Career/profession 2.Job title 3.Friendships built on a self imposed pattern that I wanted to be liked What are yours? What are your current lifelines that you have built a strong and deep reliance on to be your safety nets? Can you name three? If so, write them down and read them to yourself right now. Well, I’m here to shake things up a bit and provide you with a new perspective that I know will free you from where you may be today. Your top three securities are NOT real. They are an illusion. My intuition tells me that the three securities you wrote down are things, people, experiences, items, that are OUTSIDE of you. You have plugged into something OUTSIDE of yourself and created a level of importance and true security and safety in them. Take for example the woman who originally found security in cigarettes and smoking. Something OUTSIDE of her held so much power to make her feel secure and get her thru her days. Now her security is the cell phone. She does not want to miss anything or not be available for people who need her. Being connected gives her sense of importance, feeling needed, and loved. The cell phone is something tangible OUTSIDE of her that keeps her feeling safe.

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So what happens when all your securities are taken away? What happens when they are destroyed, lost, or they disappear? What happens to this woman when her phone stops working and her battery runs out of juice? She may go through a serious withdrawal, anxiety, frustration or possible breakdown. But you and I both know she will be fine. She created a false level of security in something that is OUTSIDE of her. She will not die - she will be ok. Her friends and family will still want to connect with her and be apart of her life. I know what it feels like to have lost your top securities. I know what it feels like to have your current lifelines stripped away. I know this first hand because I lost all three of my false securities within one week. I was fired unexpectedly from a job, and in an unrelated event I was reported to the American Speech and Language Association and my national license was being reconsidered. I had used my speech pathology credentials and title on my intuitive counseling website and someone felt this was against speech pathology regulations. The self image I had created and plugged into was ripped out from underneath me and my credentials and career were now in question. Then a few days later one of my closest friends who had been apart of my life for 12 years told me she did not want to be my friend anymore. She told me I said something that reminded her of how her parents spoke to her. I never found out what that really meant for her but nonetheless a dear and close friend no longer liked me. This was devastating! All three of my main securities were taken away, disappeared, and/or were being questioned. I was a mess. My identity was shattered, my self image, my self imposed level of security was destroyed. I can recall dropping to the floor of my living room crying and curling up in a fetal position. A death was occurring. A death of my ego, a death of my illusionary safety and security. How could this happen? How could this be? It was a deep time of transformation. I was forced to become brutally honest with myself and go inside and dig into the depths of my heart and discover MY REAL

aspects of security. I no longer had what to me was an important part of my identity. All of the OUTSIDE that I had grabbed onto very tightly for many years was now gone. I realized that since I was reaching for something outside of myself could I change how I was living my life and reach within - reach INSIDE of myself. By going INSIDE I knew whatever I found would always be with me. What did I find? I found my INNER TRUTH! What was my inner truth? My inner truth was showing me that I was fine. I was still me. My education and experience were still apart of me. Though the job had been peeled away I still had all I needed INSIDE of me. I still had my education, my past experiences, my memories, my knowledge. I was fine. Jobs come and go - they are no big deal. They are mere assignments that we are given in this lifetime. There was no need for me to plug into a job as a form of security. And as far as my professional title ...well it was just that .......a title. A title that I had to pay for every year to keep my license and status. If my license was taken away from me I could always do something else. Again my knowledge and experience were still with me and INSIDE of me. I would be fine. Everything was fine. I started to let go. I saw how I could transform my securities from something OUTSIDE of me to all that was INSIDE of me. As I continued to let go and release myself from the illusion of what is true security in my life things began to shift. The good news is that the speech pathology board just requested that I remove my speech title from a website where no speech therapy services were being provided. My license was maintained and all worked out. I was not hired back by the job who fired me. But I learned soon after that the reason I was fired, was because the company had only hired me to complete a study of 300 children on their language development. They fired me on the very day that I evaluated child number 300. They no longer needed me in their eyes. They handled it very inappropriately by not being upfront with me initially that the position would end once all 300 children were evaluated.

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However, the beauty that came out of it was I became committed to building my intuitive practice which still thrives today. I may not have committed to building my practice and business if I was still working there. Their are many hidden blessings in that experience. One of them of course being that I learned and saw how I could change my life for the better by only creating safety INSIDE of myself. This way I can be anywhere, go anywhere, and if anything happens to my outside world I will be just fine. I will be strong and okay. I will be

anchored INSIDE and can handle anything that comes my way. I know you can do the same! So take a close look at your top three securities. Write them down. How can you let them go and shift and transform your level of security from that which is OUTSIDE of you to that, which is INSIDE of you? Anchor in more deeply INSIDE to feel confident with a sense of safety within you!

Remember, the only safety in life is YOUR inner truth.

Jennifer Crews M.A. has over 20 years experience as a communications expert. Her passion for the written and spoken word led her to careers as a pediatric speech language pathologist, published author, live talk radio show host at KRXA in California, a performance speaker, and an intuitive leader. She has dedicated her life to creative expression in everything she does and in educating others on the mastery of spirit beauty, intuition, and personal power. “The highest form of beauty is the essence self.� Jennifer currently leads groups and mentors individuals around the globe. She lives in Portland, Oregon. Learn more about her programs and services at www.jennifercrews.com.

As you take steps to make this transformation for yourself if you need further guidance. I currently offer a mentoring program that anchors you directly to that security and safety INSIDE of you. Trust Your Experience Mentoring Program - 5 Fundamentals to Accelerate a New Sense of Self. Visit my programs page at www.jennifercrews.com to learn more.

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To See Or Not To See By Chris Ann

Most children’s lives, at the age of 3, were full of wonderment and new adventures. Mine was no different. Well, actually, it was full of wonderment and new adventures but it was very different than most. I was starting my new adventure into this life and developing my skills. My teacher was a dear Uncle of mine. He was very skilled himself. The Armenian side of my family was very connected to the gifts of our ancestors. We were a proud people and a strong family. I grew up knowing where we were from and how we got here. We were a recently immigrated family clan. My family was all over the east coast and we got together for holidays, weddings, funerals and such. Always the conversations in the kitchen turned to the paranormal. The ghost gossip, the psychic scoop, the vibes and more! At 3, I was included in these conversations. I kept my mouth shut and my ears ever open! I loved it without knowing why. I was lucky to have an Uncle to spend so much time with me and focus on my real studies. He was skilled at Astral Projection. He was able to sit in a chair, rest his body and his spirit would leave his body. This became my focus at the age of 3! Soon I was able to leave my body at will. Never going far. Only to the ceiling and back. My Uncle was able to leave his body and travel to other parts of the house. I had heard the stories! I was happy to go to the ceiling and around the room. You need to understand, the perspective of a 3 year old is limited and low to the ground. This gave me wings to fly and eyes to see all! I was very happy. As the years past, my studies continued and my skills grew. It was never mentioned, but I always knew this was not a conversation for the playground. I knew my perspective on high would not be met with open arms. Many did not have the ability to see what I was seeing. I knew this was special for me. When the time was right then I would know it. I was always a very intuitive child. I knew things. My Grandmother had taught me to read faces and to see people on the inside. I was good at it. She was always testing me. I wish I had done that well in school with my book studies! The days were dedicated to public school and the afternoons and nights were focused on my real passions. I started to learn tarot cards. My Mom always had them in the house. At the age of 8, I had my own deck. It was also the first time I did a reading for someone other than myself. I would read for my Mom, my Brother, my Grandparents, etc. It was so much fun. I always viewed my perspective on the world as fun. I never understood the unhappiness in the world around me. I was so good at Astral Projection that I soon started to realize the downside of such a gift. The teachers would label me a daydreamer. The truth was, I was bored in school, so I would leave my body! I had better things to do and better places to be. School was not my passion. School was not geared towards a child like me. I was not

an auditory learner. I was a visual learner. I needed the perspective of sight. It was lacking in the school system. So, I had my body sitting in the chair at the desk but my spirit was elsewhere. I knew when the teachers were having bad days and what the problems were at home. I would become overwhelmed with the constant chatter, that apparently, I was the only one privy to. I did not have peers to share with. I was alone in a crowd. I preferred to not be seen, most of the time. My Uncle was supportive and also helping me to learn to focus and this was handy for schools and large events. I never really enjoyed assemblies, church, fairs or any large gatherings. People’s issues were becoming a bit too much for me. By the age of 12, I had to start taking control. If I would sit on the outside of the group and not enter the center, I was good. If I was on the stage and not in the audience, I was good. If no one touched me, I was good. I was seeing, hearing and feeling what was going on with people. My Uncle was with me every step of the way to help. My focus was stronger and my manifestation of what I did and did not want was in full swing. I was gaining a little more control. I started coming into my own gifts of what you see for your self, can become a reality! I started to use it! I would focus on passing my classes with ease, having nice people around me, especially my younger brother! I knew, with a smile and a good intention, what I see can become what is. It was not until years later that I knew there was a label for kids like me. I was an early Indigo. I was helping to pave the way for the Crystal Children to come. I did not know that all those years of Astral Projection would help me when I developed a chronic illness at the age of 20. I would avoid the chronic pain by leaving my body. I did not know that after becoming a Sign Language Interpreter, because I needed to see the words, I would have a devastating work injury. I did not know that it would make my path clear for me to be a full time Psychic and Healer. I was so busy focusing on others and what others wanted for me, that I had to learn the hard way. I had to see it. I was very clear on what others should do and what others needed, that I had forgotten to see for myself. At the age of 3, I did not see. I chose not to see. At the age of 3, I became a Medium. At the age of 3 my Uncle died. At the age of 3, my Uncle became my Spirit Guide and taught me everything I needed to know. At the age of 3, I had already learned more than most people do in their entire lifetimes. I did not see it. I am thankful that I do now! I have seen the wonderful things in store for me and they have been coming true! I have seen that through the struggles of the Indigo Children like me, the Crystal Children have so much more to look forward to as they offer us the world. I have the gift of clear and honest sight into the past, present and future all because a 3 year old saw more than she realized.

Chris Ann is a psychic who does readings in The Akashic Records (soul's history/past lives). She is a Psychic Medium, Animal Communicator, Crystal Communication Facilitator, REIKI MASTER, mentor to other psychics and crystal children. Chris Ann studied with many of the top Psychics of the world and has combined their tips with her own gifts! She is from a long line of psychics and has been communicating with the dead since the age of 3 and doing readings for others since the age of 8. She LOVES being able to help others through her business Elemental Energies with Chris Ann. INNER TAPESTRY JOURNAL

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By Kathryn Drage

Butterflies are the perfect symbol for transformation, Then when she was about 7 years old a most metamorphosing through their four stages from egg, to interesting thing happened. I decided to go on a 30 day larvae, to pupa to adult, emerging as a beautiful detox diet. I lost a little bit of weight but more butterfly. Through the years the animal kingdom has importantly my nervous system just seemed calmer… shown me how transformations can happen in the most just an overall feeling. Towards the end of it I noticed interesting and unsuspecting ways. something else. Butterfly was out walking about and her For example, one of my own kitty family members--neck was healed. She was social and happy acting as whose name is actually Butterfly---has taught me the well…she has this wonderful sounding trill that just power of transformation. Butterfly is a lovely petite makes me feel happy. What connection could there tortoiseshell who loved to sit on top of an open door for possibly have been with my taking care of myself and hours as a young kitten. She lived up to her name, with Butterfly having such a quick transformation? She always flying to great heights. Before she later told me that she was holding healing was a year old she developed a large, open energy for me while I was working through wound on her throat from constant my own life challenges. As soon as I made scratching. Since we live a holistic life, we a conscious decision to take care of myself, tried many nontoxic and homeopathic ways she knew she did not have to help me on to determine the cause and to heal her. All the same level any more. There I was my cats eat a raw food diet, so that was not thinking I was helping her! This little 7 the issue. Nothing worked for long, and it pounds of furry, trilling joy is still having was a mystery. During this time, I did my fun, adventuring and helping me with best to separate myself from a concerned readings as my other kitty family members person to an animal communicator, forcing are. They are always showing unique myself to remain open to her wishes. This perspectives on how to assist humans and helped in some ways and in others there animals to live more harmoniously with was still a mystery and she started to find each other. snug secure places to be because she was I learned many things from Butterfly so uncomfortable in her own skin that through this process and one is that it is when she was out in the open, she important to take responsibility for your Butterfly scratched all over her body and her throat own energy. If you are not taking care of would get very raw. We had stopped all yourself then what are you offering for medications and homeopathic remedies long ago(I just energy? It is not that I had negative energy, but it was kept it clean and applied a very diluted lavender tincture just time for me to evolve to a higher vibration, and which she liked) when she asked me to stop trying to Butterfly coached me through it. heal her and accept her as her wonderful self…to look at She taught me that being true to oneself is the way you her as being whole and not unwell. That in itself was an will be given wings to fly, even though at times it may important lesson because if we keep looking at what we all look like a mess. We must never give up hope, for think is wrong we hold that vibration around that being there is always a chance. Instead, we must be sure that and that is of no help. It is not that we should stop we have not limited ourselves because we can’t envision seeking ways to help but rather to remember to look at the outcome. It is a constant learning process, and I have what is going right not just what we think is going been my own blockage many times…yet have been wrong. This provides a totally different energy. given the opportunity again and again to try one more time.

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I would like to share something that I have come across time and time again while working with people and their animal companions. It is about being heard and acknowledged. I have seen many animals blossom just from being heard. I have gone to many homes and we talk about saying please and thank you instead of giving commands…..the energy and transformation, my friends, is amazing. It is the intention that matters and when the intention is, “I see you, I respect you, you are my friend,” that is what you get in return. Several years ago I was being shown in my mind’s eye something different than what I had seen before. I started seeing words around body parts. When inspecting the words I would find that they were in the positive and present tense. I meditated on how I was supposed to use this information and I was led to use them the same way Dr. Masaru Emoto worked with water. He did some amazing work on how the molecules in water would react from using positive words/thoughts and also what would happen with negative words/ thoughts. The molecules stick together with positivity, looking like beautiful snowflakes; with negativity, however, the molecules will not stick together and end up as blobs. I was thinking about how much water we, the animals, and Earth contain. Could this really be a tool we can use and is this how to use these words that I see? The answer was yes. When I am doing readings I often give the list of words I see and ask that people use them as if they were saying an affirmation to themselves. I feel this helps because it can help heal something in us as well as the animal, and it is meant to be a team effort. It works beautifully and the results have been both positive physical, as well as behavioral changes. One of my favorite examples of this method is a beautiful dog named Nelson who had a very hard start in life.

After being severely abused, he found his way into the life of a wonderful woman who made it her mission to help give him everything beautiful he deserved. That included surgery to help repair his damaged leg. Even after the surgery there was still a concern that his leg may still need to be amputated. Nelson needed to use that leg in order to keep it or the rest of his body would suffer from the imbalance. Nelson’s person and I met up and we discussed different options and listened to what Nelson had to say. I went on to tell her about the words I saw around Nelson’s damaged leg. I gave them to her to say in a list starting with the words “I am.” I told her that I felt she should say them several times a day. The beautiful conclusion to this is that in one month with this action being the only different thing done, Nelson had a visit with his veterinarian and he said “I don’t know what you have been doing but Nelson has grown enough muscle around his ankle that he can keep his leg.” This is exciting on so many levels! First of all for Nelson, who gets to keep his leg, but also for his person to see first hand the power of intention in practice. It is exciting for all of us if we really think about it. Thoughts, words, and intentions….powerful tools that we are all equipped with. How well do we use them? In a meditation I had many years ago I had these words come to me: “Intention is the key, use it with reverence.” They are the words on my business cards, brochures, and in my heart. My wish is that you find something in this article to give you hope and a sense of empowerment knowing you have everything you require to transform in any way you wish to. The animal kingdom is always showing us possibilities and are willing to share their loving wisdom with us. I give a heartfelt thank you to the animal kingdom ….Namaste

Kathryn Drage is an Animal Communicator who resides in Gardiner, Maine. She has been communicating with animals and nature since early childhood. For the last 20 years Kathryn has also worked in the holistic health field, which enhances the information she shares from the heart. During a session, Kathryn infuses her wisdom, many healing modalities as well as past experiences to help assist with the well being of the receiver. She truly enjoys teaching workshops on a variety of topics. She believes Animal Communication is everyone’s original language and the more that it’s shared the closer it brings all beings into harmony and balance. She can be contacted at earthtalking@aol.com and www.earthtalking.org

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Light and Sound on the Path

The Fall and Rise of the Gnos;cs, Part Two “The god of time (illusion) has put a cover over the teachings of Saints and thus concealed them from humanity.” ~Swami Ji Maharaj, Agra, India Voicing the suspicions of many, a teacher by the name of Supreme Master Ching Hai once said, “Transmigration is another word for reincarnation. It is a very Eastern term. You don’t hear it that often in the Bible, because the Bible is not complete, as all of you know. It has “transmigrated” for 2,000 years or some time, so some things may be missing there. The true Bible is locked up somewhere and we are never allowed to see it. But some of the newly-dug books from ancient sites — the Bible in some part has come out, and some of it mentions reincarnation.” Based on my exploration of the lost books of the Bible, I find those sentiments to be accurate. During the last two hundred years many ancient Jewish and Christian documents have been rediscovered in the Middle East. And, I should mention that some Christians have been curious about apocryphal scriptures and have preserved some of these “other books” for 2,000 years. Many other interesting collections of psalms, letters (epistles), gospels and revelations have survived the centuries, even though only a small number of open-minded seekers have valued their spiritual wisdom. I want to share with you my encounter with the books of the other Bible. I want to impart to you information about books of mystical poetry, discourses on gaining enlightenment and other amazing documents which might be very helpful to you on your spiritual journey. It’s time that this knowledge is revealed so anyone can know how to find the lost or hidden books of the Bible, the ‘other bible!’ PROTESTANTS REMOVED THE APOCRYPHA A long time ago when I was involved in making a major study of the Bible (the Hebrew Scriptures and the Greek New Testament), I noticed that Catholic Bibles contain several additional books that aren’t in the Protestant Bible. These books are called “the Apocrypha” in the

Protestant tradition. Although the original King James Version of 1611 AD did contain these books, it seems that Protestant Bible societies took them out of the Bible a couple hundred years ago to make smaller, cheaper Bibles available to the masses. Today most Protestants think of these disputed books as “Catholic” but, the truth of the matter is the books of “the Apocrypha” for millennia have also traditionally been included in the old Bibles of the Greek Orthodox, Syrian, Russian, Armenian, Egyptian and in the bibles of the other ancient churches. Translations of most of these books were also found amongst the Dead Sea Scrolls. The original Greek translation of the Old Testament made in Alexandria around 200 BC also included these other books — books that have now vanished from the Protestant Bibles in the US! OTHER EXAMPLES OF DELETED SCRIPTURES Many years ago when I was reading the New Testament book of Jude I discovered an amazing quote — a quote which opened me up to the ‘other’ books of the Bible. Jude, in verse 14 of this short book preserved in the New Testament, quoted from the book of First Enoch 1:9. He also quoted another apocryphal book called the Testament of the Twelve Patriarchs. I was amazed to find out about the existence of these other books and decided that if Jude, during the 1st century, had access to them, then I wanted to check them out myself! So I started to collect apocryphal writings once considered to be scripture long ago. The Books of Enoch were found in some Ethiopian Bibles and amongst the Dead Sea Scrolls. They describe the heavenly journeys of Enoch the prophet, through the Seven Heavens! Like Hermes Trismegistus of Egypt and the great Medieval mystic Kabir from India, the prophet Enoch described his visions of ascent through the higher planes.

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THE ODES OF SOLOMON — THE WOULD-BE BOOK OF NEW TESTAMENT PSALMS

way, the text affirms that her leadership of the other disciples is based upon superior spiritual understanding.

Out of all the apocryphal writings I’ve collected, I think the Odes of Solomon is the most beautiful. It is the would-be book of New Testament psalms! The Book of the Odes has been described as the first known hymnbook of early Christianity. One scholar said of the Odes, “Here are some of the most beautiful songs of peace and joy that the world possesses.” Bentley Layton in The Gnostic Scriptures says that the Odes were considered to be inspired scripture and were chanted by Christians who lived in Syria and Mesopotamia about 2,000 years ago. A follower of the Unity School of Christianity published an edition of the Odes a few years back and created daily affirmations based on this ancient book. These ecstatic hymns remind me of Rumi or Sufi love poetry in the tradition of “the lover and the Beloved.” They also remind me of the Sikh scriptures of India. Many have adopted the practice of meditating upon the Odes and report being brought to a deeper level of devotion (bhakti); being caught up in a love-affair with God, the Ocean of Love. That’s also been my experience.

As a recipient of the secret teachings of the resurrected Christ, Mary, in her Gospel teaches the other disciples spiritual knowledge and gives detailed accounts of her visions and travels through the higher planes or heavens accompanied by the Radiant Form of her Master, the resurrected Christ. She relays to the other disciples the spiritual instructions, the words of Christ that she heard during these encounters, which probably took place during times of deep prayer — long periods of meditation.

THE ODES: There is no hard way where there is a simple heart, Good thought finds no wounds, Nor is there any storm in the depths of illuminated thought. Surrounded on every side by the beauty of the open country, one is free of doubt.

THE ACTS OF PAUL AND THECLA

Speaking of women apostles and saints in early Christianity: The Acts of Paul and Thecla, is the record of the life and times of Thecla, an initiate of Saint Paul, the apostle. This book is brimming with accounts of many supernatural and miraculous events during the life of Thecla, very much calling to mind the Desert Fathers and Mothers of Egypt. This book describes Thecla as “an apostle of God,” who, sometimes traveled and at other times lived a monastic life in a cave. She was also a spiritual leader and teacher who instructed people “in the oracles of God”. The text records that “many of them abandoned this world, and lead a monastic life with her.” She was so highly esteemed that a temple was erected and dedicated to her! A copy of the acts of Paul and Thecla can be found in, The Lost Books of the Bible and the Forgotten Books of Eden. The best Giovanni Bellini’s translation of the Gospel of Mary is “Mary Magdalene” included in, The Complete Gospels, Robert J. Miller, Polebridge Press.

Below

THE BOOK OF PISTIS SOPHIA (FAITH-WISDOM)

is like above. (from Ode 34)

The largest Gospel ever discovered, Pistis Sophia, was brought to London from Egypt and purchased in 1772 by A. Askew, a London doctor and collector of old Coptic manuscripts. The book was published and one of its most famous readers was the great poet-mystic William Blake, who was greatly influenced by it. This text does document that there was a time when some Christians did believe in the concept of reincarnation and the preexistence of the soul. Like St. Paul’s “Damascus Road” experience recorded in the New Testament, Christ is said to have appeared to His followers as an incredibly brilliant Light and many Rays of Light. Many interesting dialogues between Christ and His initiates are recorded in this document — about eleven years-worth!

The Book of Odes even contains some passages which describe a feminine aspect of the Godhead, like: “I rested on the Spirit of the Lord and She lifted me up to heaven.” THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MARY MAGDALENE A few copies of the Gospel of Mary have been found in Egypt. The preeminence of Mary Magdalene in this Gospel gives one excellent example of the leadership roles of women in early Christianity. Mary is described as an apostle, equal in every way to the twelve apostles and part of the inner circle of Jesus. But more than that, Mary was a kind of spiritual successor to Christ, taking over His role as the spiritual teacher of the other disciples. In every

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Pistis Sophia also contains many beautiful hymns and prayers. Though reincarnation is mentioned as a reality, the goal of salvation was to liberate souls from material captivity, reincarnation, the wheel of fate, and go back to God again. Ignorance was overcome and souls were given the ability to mystically travel from Earth to heaven via the Holy Stream of Light. Jesus said, “Seek, all of you, after the Light, so that the power of your soul that is in you may live. Do not cease seeking day or night until you find the mysteries of the Kingdom of Light, which will purify you, make you into pure light and lead you into the Kingdom of the Light.” This inner vision of God’s Light took place during periods of solitude: contemplation (meditation). LIGHT MYSTICISM OF THE GNOSTIC CONTEMPLATIVES, THEN…AND NOW One of the central teachings of Gnostic Saints was the experience of the inner Light. In fact, having visions of divine Light is a universal experience. People around the world in all cultures have recorded visions of heaven and encounters with “the Light within”. Many have eloquently described in their sacred texts encounters with Light coming from beyond the darkness. Many saints and mystics, including those who wrote various Nag Hammadi texts, describe God, the Supreme Being as a GOD OF ALL-ENCOMPASSING, PURE, BRILLIANT LIGHT. They also believe that we, as souls (our true spiritual identity) are “sparks of the Light,” that we are, in reality, “Children of the Light.” The experience of Light mysticism (seeing inner Light) takes place during one’s time of meditation practice. SAYINGS ABOUT INNER LIGHT “Understand what the Great Light is.” (Apocryphon of James) “I AM the Light that is over all things.” (Gospel of Thomas) “Then we went up to the Sixth Heaven. And I gazed up on high and saw a great Light shining down on the Sixth Heaven.” (The Apocalypse of Paul, The Nag Hammadi Library In English) The Mandaean Religion of Iraq has many beautiful hymns and prayers to the Light (God), and visions of

heaven that often resemble NDEs (modern day near death accounts): “His Light illuminates and His radiance irradiates all the worlds, and the divine beings who stand before Him and shine in their radiance and in the radiance of the Great Light which rests upon them.” In his Introductory Meditation Instructions, a modern-day Gnostic, mystic and spiritual master by the name of Kirpal Singh advised his students to silently repeat one's sacred words or mantras with eyes closed concentrating at the Third Eye Center. Of the Inner Light he said, "As you look within, you will see a sky, or blue sky: If you look minutely into it, you will find it studded with stars, or you may see pinpoints of Light. If so, try to locate the big star out of them, and fix your whole attention on that. Then you may see the inner sun or moon. If so, focus all your attention into the middle; it will break into pieces, and you will cross it. Beyond you will see the radiant form of the Master or his Master… " SUMMARY As you can see from this brief sampling of apocryphal scriptures, the books that were left out of the fourth century orthodox Bible tended to promote personal spiritual experience of the Kingdom of Heaven via contemplation. The teachings of the early Christian Saints of the Jewish church, Syrian and Egyptian Christianity were never fully understood and embraced in the West, and that’s the reason, in my view, why these other books were left behind. George Bernard Shaw was right: Christianity has never failed — it hasn’t been tried yet! Yet, in this age we are free to read, to discover the teachings of the Saints, to understand what the great Light is, and experience it for ourselves. “Hearken to the word; understand knowledge; love life, and no one will persecute you, nor will anyone oppress you, other than you yourselves.” (Jesus, Apocryphon of James) My Collection of Sacred Texts Online and Recommended Reading: Gnostic Gospels, Contemplative or Mystical Christianity, the Lost Books and Spirituality of the West: https://medium.com/sant-mat-radhasoami-books/gnosticgospels-contemplative-or-mystical-christianity-the-lostbooks-and-spirituality-of-the-west-28ed95fc3401

James Bean explores the world of spirituality, comparative religion, the Path of the Masters (India), Inner Light & Sound Meditation, books -- sacred texts of the East & West, and the vegan diet, via Spiritual Awakening Radio on HealthyLife.net , Positive Talk Radio, as well as satsangs (spiritual gatherings or retreats). He has been involved with podcasting, public radio, Radio For Peace International, the community radio movement, the Wisdom Channel on satellite radio, is an independent producer currently creating programs for various stations. Address questions or comments to: James@SpiritualAwakeningRadio.com Website: http:// www.SpiritualAwakeningRadio.com

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