EE FR JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018
YUNJIN KIM HAS TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE
Staging the new Eddie Money musical here in the Roc
GIRLFRIEND GETAWAYS in the Finger Lakes
INSIDE:
• Yelp’s map for chocoholics • Clean house = clear mind • Navigating party food
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WRITERS IN THIS ISSUE BREANNA BANFORD is the Yelp Rochester community director. She brings the online community offline, connecting people to great local businesses through collaborative events and marketing partnerships. As a Rochester native, Breanna lives, breathes, and eats for this city. When she’s not hosting events for the Yelp community, you’ll almost always find her with rosé in one hand and french fries in the other. MEAMI CRAIG, PH.D, holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and human development from Harvard University and a doctorate in psychology. A long-time media personality, she gave advice for 20 years on WARM 101.3 and was a popular columnist and blogger with weekly newspapers and The Democrat and Chronicle, focusing on relationships and family. You may ask Meami questions for her She Rocs column at (585) 432-1010 or changeyourlifeservices.com. ELIZABETH CRONY is a woman of action, whether executing a marketing plan or mastering the de-cluttering and cleaning of a house. With a degree and background in fashion and merchandising, she is a founding member of Femfessionals Rochester and COO of Big Thinkers LLC, as well as the former president of Blacktie Colorado. She is a happily married mom of two young girls.
DANTE WORTH is a success mentor and author based in Rochester who released his book Free to Be Me in 2014. He holds a bachelor’s degree in PR and communications from SUNY Brockport. In the community he has organized and hosted motivational seminars, the Black Authors Expo, and three installments of ROC Mastery Writing Seminars. Each spring he hosts the Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference, where he brings together women and men to enable, empower, and inspire them to live life with a victorious freedom.
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Two Tickets to Paradise Yunjin Audrey Kim takes on Eddie Money original musical Girlfriend Getaways Three Finger Lakes destinations Stringing it together Bead Breakout and Stefan Otter team up
Andrea Taylor, left, with Mariela Vidrascu in front of their Monroe Avenue location. RENEE VENISKEY
Plan vs. punt eating your way through a party Kick off healthy-eating habits at this year’s big game
ALSO INSIDE
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OLIVIA TEMPLETON is a senior at Honeoye Falls-Lima High School and founder of the blog livehealthywithliv. wordpress.com. She is an avid runner and cross-country skier who enjoys cooking and creating recipes. She plans to study nutritional science in college.
FEATURES
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SUE HENNINGER is a freelance writer, a regular contributor to family magazines, and the coauthor of The Ultimate Guide to College Transfer: From Surviving to Thriving. Contact or connect with her at SueHenninger.com.
CONTENTS
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018
YUNJIN KIM HAS TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE
6 The Organized Clutterbug Tackling those resolutions
Staging the new Eddie Money musical here in the Roc
GIRLFRIEND GETAWAYS
7 Help from Yelp A Rochester roadmap for chocoholics 11 The Audacious Believer A new year and new goals 12 Ask Dr. Meami A clean house = a clear mind
in the Finger Lakes
INSIDE:
• Yelp’s map for chocoholics • Clean house = clear mind • Navigating party food
SR18.indd 1
ON THE COVER
12/18/17 10:49 PM
Rochester-based musician Yunjin Audrey Kim has been entrusted with the original score of Eddie Money’s autobiographical musical, Two Tickets to Paradise. The world premiere is at Kodak Center Feb. 14-18. Story on page 4. PHOTO BY MIGUEL SAMPER
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Yunjin Audrey Kim has
Two Tickets to Paradise
Rocker Eddie Money entrusts Eastman-educated musician with his new stage musical By DRESDEN ENGLE
The music talent that walks among us in Rochester is immense, especially with an internationally ranked and beloved music school like Eastman School of Music. That was the lure to Rochester for Korean-born and Virginia-raised Yunjin Audrey Kim, who earned a master’s degree in vocal performance and literature from Eastman. Falling in love with Rochester she has stayed here, working every day as a
professional musician. “I am making my living doing music and I’m a little proud of myself,” Kim said, sheepishly smiling. “I’m a poor, starving musician just trying to live a fabulous life.”
SHE’S MONEY For her talents, she was tapped to be the music and vocal director for a world premiere musical being launched in Rochester in February — Two Tickets to Paradise: The Eddie Money Musical.
Yunjin Audrey Kim and her Steinway — and the gown in which she made her Carnegie Hall debut. PHOTO BY MIGUEL SAMPER
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The new musical is based on the life and music of Grammy-nominated rock star Eddie Money, who wrote the musical and also will star in every Rochester performance (Feb. 14-18) at Kodak Center. Also serving as the production’s music editor, she is helping with the new songs created for the show. She also is marrying Money’s big hits with the new songs, stringing them together for the production, including creating music for scene changes, as well as vamps, and underscoring.
“It’s like an open book,” Kim said. “It’s a musical and music has to happen all the time. Pieces of many of the songs will return throughout the score and I’ll be choosing the instruments. It’s very exciting!” At night she sketches it out, looking at the recurring themes and figuring out how to make Eddie Money’s music, which most often are solo songs, into ensemble numbers. “I feel so very honored,” Kim said. “Somehow he trusts this will happen. But he doesn’t need to worry about it. I’ll make it work!” Two Tickets to Paradise is being produced by Rochester Association for Performing Arts (RAPA), a performing and educational theater organization, for which she serves as the chair of the Music Department.
WE ARE THE MUSIC MAKERS … Kim’s full-time work in music also involves private voice and piano lessons in her Corn Hill studio, accompanying choruses for Pittsford Central School District, and serving as music director of First United Methodist Church in Geneva. Of her Eastman class of 2012, when asked how many of her classmates are working full-time as musicians, she estimates about 20 percent. “Some are singing in professional operas, yes, but they all have daytime jobs not in the music field,” Kim said. “It is fabulous I work in a field where I get to create. “A lot of the music is provided, but it’s my job to make it come alive and to bring the music out of people, although sometimes not always the same as the composer’s intention,” she said, laughing heartily Her students and casts thank her pushing them to reach their potential in delivering a song. The recent cast of The Hunchback of Notre Dame called her a “beautiful nightmare,” when thanking her for pushing their voices. As a trained singer, she’s often asked by those she is vocal coaching why she is not singing center stage these days. “I tell them because I like waving my arms better and let you do all the work,” she said, laughing again. “I love singing and yet hate singing,” Kim said. “It’s a lifestyle, you have to stay healthy all the time and you have to exude extreme confidence.” CONDUCTING HERSELF PROFESSIONALLY While working as an accompanist, she was able to watch the directors and conductors
Working on arrangements for the Eddie Money musical in her home studio. PHOTO BY MIGUEL SAMPER
at work, and she said that helped shape her into the musician she is today. Watching Kim energetically and happily conduct an orchestra is often as exciting than what is on stage. “It’s a lot of fun,” she said. “The best thing I hear from my pit members is I was really fun to work with and they really loved playing with me. That is the best thing.” When asked about her life beyond music, she smirked and replied, “I don’t have one.” In truth, she spends downtime with her many theater and music friends. Her parents reside in Virginia and her brother, a professional model and actor, lives in Korea. Kim came to the United States at age 15. She has recorded songs in Korean that are popular on iTunes. She has been playing piano since the age of five and her soprano voice has filled Carnegie Hall, as well as many other prestigious houses. In 2013, the same year she made her Carnegie Hall debut, Kim was featured on the album “A Thousand Burnt Offerings,” which was released in South Korea, and sang again on an album for the series in 2016. Kim has deep connections in Korea through her music and she has performed there. And while she may someday follow an opportunity or adventure beyond Rochester, this city still remains her home. “Rochester is an amazing city, especially for musicians,” Kim said. “Yes, maybe you’re a small fish in a big pond, but it’s a big pond, with a lot of opportunity. Somehow I constantly get jobs coming at me, and I feel very, very grateful.” She Rocs
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Alec Nevin portrays young Eddie Money PHOTO BY MARTY NOTT
Two Tickets to Paradise: The Eddie Money Musical Rochester hosts the world premiere of this new musical! How did a police officer trainee become the legendary rocker of global stardom in the 1970s? Two Tickets to Paradise: The Eddie Money Musical chronicles his wild ride through several decades. Discover the secrets of his story with Eddie Money classics like “Baby Hold On,” “I Wanna Go Back,” and “Take Me Home Tonight,” blended with new stage songs. Eddie “the Money Man” himself appears in all performances! Where: Kodak Center, 200 West Ridge Road, Rochester When: Feb. 14-18, 2018 Tickets: $39.50 to $59.50 More info: rapatheatre.org
May old resolutions not be forgot ... Making your home safer and you more energized Happy New Year! The clock strikes midnight. Everyone hugs and sings Auld Lang Syne. Next up, we state our resolutions — those decisions to do or not to do something — as the calendar flips to a new list of possibilities, projects, and adventures that empower (or overwhelms) us. Though it’s easy to rattle off a long list of intents, the reality sets in as January creeps along. Classics like losing weight, quitting something, spending more time with family, saving money, and so on, are good goals to have. But how about embracing the new year by jotting down both practical and fun thoughts (a happier word than “resolutions”) and make a plan and prioritize. Some actions will be immediate and others will evolve over the coming months. Here’s one action to add that is on the practical side and a true priority — creating a Safe Home checklist.
Here are some suggestions for a safer home: Detect it: Radon and carbon monoxide are colorless, odorless gases, which gone undetected can cause severe health risks. Radon kits start at $20 and carbon monoxide at $40, and both can be found in hardware stores. These small investments are important safeguards for your family. Clean it: Lint may seem innocent, but it’s highly combustible, and many neglect to clean the vents and ducts behind the dryer. Pull the dryer out, attach the vacuum hose, and suck it out. Check the 6
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outside vent as well. Vent it: Make sure your house can breathe. Bathrooms and attics that aren’t vented to the outside (or the vents are covered over with shingles) make you a prime candidate for mold. Monthly cleanings with bleach also help to control and sanitize. Plant it: Add plants to rooms (in sunappropriate areas). They bring in new energy and help clean the air. While being safe in the home you can also do some small things that may decrease your bills and carbon footprint — worth the effort and is less dramatic than installing solar panels and buying a hybrid car. • Switch off the lights when you leave a room. We are all culprits and can’t just blame it on the kids and pets. Also, turn off your power strips and/or set your home computer to revert to sleep mode when not in use. • Install compact fluorescent bulbs and low-flow showerheads. • Wait for the dishwasher or washing
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machine to be full before you run them. • Give composting a try. Come spring, your garden will thank you.
And now that the house is both safe and energy-efficient, tackle the clutter:
• Take the time to carefully put away seasonal decorations. • Recycle all the holiday advertisements and magazines. • Stash useful (but not beautiful) items such as DVDs, remotes, and those kicked-off shoes in attractive woven baskets. • Fill your home with the things that raise your personal energy level and make you feel good, and get rid of the things that drain your energy or are broken. Now good luck embracing those resolutions, perhaps thinking about them as the old acquaintances you sang about not forgetting.
The candyman can, ’cause he mixes it with love
… in time for Valentine’s Day A CHOCOHOLIC’S GUIDE TO THE ROC Whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s — or Galentine’s — Day, or just looking for a sweet treat, we are playing Cupid and sending you on a hunt for the best chocolate around the Rochester area. She Rocs magazine thanks Breanna Banford, Yelp Rochester’s community director, for curating this list of coveted confections.
Hedonist Artisan Chocolates
Original Candy Kitchen
674 South Ave., Rochester (585) 461-2815 hedonistchocolates.com
4069 Main St., Williamson (315) 589-9085 originalcandykitchen.com
“You can grab a box of chocolate in various different sizes and can mix and match from what they have available that day as well. If you’re feeling adventurous, they have seasonal features ranging from caramel to spicy chocolates.“
“Whether it’s handcrafted candies, or just a bag of chocolate clumps, make sure you buy some chocolate on the way out!”
– Brent A.
623 Park Ave., Rochester (585) 473-2098 | steverscandy.com
Encore Chocolates 147 Pattonwood Dr., Rochester (585) 266-2970 | encorechocolates.com “The truffles are outstanding. They have chocolate-dipped strawberries occasionally (Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, etc.), but they sell out quickly. They also have chocolates with handwritten messages. This is one of my go-to spots to find a teacher-appreciation gift.” — Gretchen S.
Roc City Chocolates Find them at Affaire de Chocolat 303 Macedon Center Road, Fairport (also in Fairport at Red Bird Market and in Henrietta at Union Place Coffee Roasters and Niblack Foods) roccitychocolates.com
— Joe A.
Stever’s Chocolates “Valentine’s Day Ready” at Stever’s Chocolates. YELP PHOTO BY BREANNA B.
Cocoa Bean Shoppe 39 S. Main St., Pittsford (585) 381-1620 | cocoabeanshoppe.com “Nadia, the owner, is very sweet, knowledgeable, and talkative. She has an array of very select dark chocolates from around the world, as well as in-house chocolate. We plan to sign up for the truffle-making class, and may look into the chocolate tasting class as well.” — Anna S.
Laughing Gull Chocolates Find them at Hart’s Local Grocers and Brighton Farmers’ Market (storefront coming soon) laughinggullchocolates.com
“Truffles, multiple barks, bars, drinking chocolate, edible bowls, and more. Also sampled a cheddar bacon bark and it was surprisingly awesome — the cheddar really came through!”
“Locally sourced when available, fair trade, organic chocolate. The salted caramel truffles are to die for!”
— Laine D.
— Jean F.
“One of my personal favorites is the dark-chocolate covered Oreos. They are always a treat! I’d also recommend the dark-chocolate covered espresso beans. Mmm! The truffles are delicious as well and make a nice gift.” — Emily H.
Oliver’s Candies 211 W. Main St., Batavia (585) 343-5888 oliverscandies.com “Like chocolate? Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, orange chocolate, peanut butter chocolate. Their cayenne peanut brittle — salty, sweet, and succulent heat! Addicting!” — Tom M.
help from
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Girlfriend getaways galore in the Finger Lakes this winter By SUE HENNINGER
Kids aren’t the only ones who get cabin fever. As the mother of three active boys, girlfriend getaways are not a luxury for me — they are a necessity. The ideal escape has three key components: not having to cook or clean, a good night’s sleep, and doing something that gives you the time and space to rediscover yourself. Luckily, the Finger Lakes region has fantastic getaway options. Here are three fabulous ones:
del Lago Resort & Casino — Waterloo —
dellagoresort.com Not far from Rochester, del Lago is a unique fusion of European (Italian) and local Finger Lakes ambience. The overall effect is that of unpretentious opulence. The attention to detail is amazing. Highlights include a complex system of scents that’s piped into every sector of the building, each one specifically chosen to amplify the visitor experience. And the friendly employees appear to really enjoy working there. If you’re the trend-setter in your group, it’s time to check out this getaway spot right in your own backyard! Spa del Lago has a wide variety of spa and salon services to choose from. The cedar sauna is soothing, the steam room aromatic, and the sanctuaries truly peaceful. Multiple treatment rooms are pristine and inviting, and the Sociale Café & Bar delivers whatever “gastro spa” treats you might desire. After a day of rejuvenating and pampering at Spa del Lago, visit the rest of the resort for a fun evening. Begin with dinner at the sophisticated Portico, where Chef Fabio Viviani prepares Old World Italian-inspired dishes from seasonal ingredients. The more casual Farmers Market Buffet, a winning combination of healthy food 8
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station options is also a tasty option. If you’re in for some late-night girlfriend fun, the casino has plenty of opportunities for individual (slot machines) or group (poker, blackjack) gaming. Or take in a comedy or music show at The Vine, del Lago’s stateof-the art entertainment center, bar, and restaurant. No matter how you all choose to spend your evening, make a point of staying up past your usual bedtime. After all you can sleep in (uninterrupted!) the next morning.
La Tourelle Hotel, Bistro & Spa — Ithaca —
latourelle.com This classic, yet contemporary, country inn has been family-owned since the 1960s. When you enter the lobby, with its brightly glowing fireplace and walls overflowing with photos of the many famous guests who have stayed there over the years, you’ll feel a warm, welcoming vibe. Get the girlfriends together and agree on a 2018 date to reserve the threestory Yellow Barn Suite, which sleeps six comfortably and has two and a half baths, a gas fireplace, and a small kitchenette. Enhancing the “slumber party atmosphere,” there’s a largescreen television allowing friends to group-watch movies. (If the Yellow Barn isn’t available, try the three
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adjacent king bedrooms instead.) Be sure to schedule a relaxing afternoon at August Moon Spa, where it’ll be all about you. I recommend the winter treatments — Buttermilk Falls Sugar Scrub or the Oxygen Facial; both are great for soothing dry, cold-weather skin. Afterward there’s a sauna, a steam room, and two luxurious tranquility rooms, one with a waterfall and one with a fireplace, to relax in. A nightly complimentary Finger Lakes wine tasting gives the hosts, guests, and perhaps a friendly dog or two, a chance to mingle and socialize before heading separate ways for dinner. You might be in the mood for a typical steakhouse menu at John Thomas Steakhouse located on the hotel property, but if you’d rather try the local cuisine in town, it’s a short drive down the hill to “Restaurant Row” on Aurora Street. Downtown Ithaca has a vibrant nightlife with plenty of bars, theaters, and music venues. And if the group wants to explore the speciality of the Finger Lakes region — the wineries — ask the Wiggins family about their partnership with “Experience! The Finger Lakes,” a full-service touring company that picks up and drops off guests who want to explore local wineries — no designated driver necessary. If you’re visiting in the dead of winter, ask the guides to show you the Ithaca-area waterfalls and gorges. They are spectacular in the ice and snow — so grab your cameras for your unique girlfriend photo ops.
Hope Lake Lodge
(pot pies) and a few surprises, like the Pear Bacon Brie Burger or dishes featuring local game. — Cortland — The grill also has breakfast, hopelakelodge.com lunch, and late-night dining options. Afterwards, enjoy Across the road from Greek the outdoor pool, heated to a Peak Mountain Resort, Hope cozy 85 degrees year round, Lake Lodge is anything but a and hot tub under a starry typical ski lodge. A five-time winter sky. These three locations would winner of TripAdvisor’s The next day head over to also make fabulous romantic getaways! “Certificate of Excellence,” the Greek Peak’s Outdoor Adventure Valentine’s Day is just around Lodge overlooks scenic Hope Lake the corner so check out their Center. Sign up for a Zip Line Tour on and the Virgil Valley. websites for special one of the four dual zip lines or take a Described as “Rustic-chic,” this lodge packages and Nor’Easter Mountain Coaster ride (you is perfect for friends to get in touch with deals. control the speed!) surrounded by snowtheir feminine side, rekindle old bonds, covered terrain. Renting tubes, skis, or and make some new memories. kicksleds are other fun outdoor options. Start your getaway by escaping from If you’d rather watch active people the stresses of everyday life at the serene, than be one, Trax is Greek Peak’s lively, full-service Waterfalls Spa. The pedicure trendy restaurant/pub. Everyone there, room features three luxurious seats facing from the drinkers and diners to the a panoramic view of the countryside. wait staff is high-spirited. groups to help customize and Treatment rooms, many with personal After the hustle of the holidays takes maximize their day at the spa. saunas and showers, are gorgeous. its toll, you and the girlfriends will be Once you’ve been pampered at Spa services include various types of ready to treat yourself to one of these Waterfalls, catch up on your busy lives massage and facials or, for something rejuvenating experiences. in the Bobcat Lounge over a specialty different, try the “Beer Hops Sugar I’m planning my own 2018 winter cocktail or a local beer. Follow drinks Scrub” or a seasonal special. Suites and girlfriend getaway … hope to see you with dinner at the Acorn Grill, with a private consultations are available for there! menu comprised of American classics
Also … great spots for romantic getaways
From spa treatments to late-night girlfriend fun, del Lago Resort & Casino awaits, just down the Thruway in Waterloo. PROVIDED PHOTO
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From DIY beading ...................... to elegant ...................... handmade jewelry The ladies of Bead Breakout and Stefan Otter make shopping an experience By DEBRA A. JACOBSON
Beading has become a favorite DIY project, as homemade beaded jewelry gifts are personalized and one-of-a-kind keepsakes. At Bead Breakout/Stefan Otter in Brighton, at 2314 Monroe Ave., just east of Twelve Corners, the customer can be as much a part of the design as she desires. Entrepreneurs Andrea Taylor (Bead Breakout) and Mariela Vidrascu (Stefan Otter Fine Jewelers) have aligned to become a one-stop place for jewelry shopping and an in-person experience worth the trip away from online ordering. The colorful store combines beading and basic wirework with fine jewelry, gemstones, soldering, drilling, and repairs — from simple to sophisticated. Professionally designed pre-made jewelry items are also on display. Taylor and Vidrascu are on hand to assist you in purchasing components, advising on selections for you to create your jewelry at home, or sharing a DIY lesson. They even can find you, if needed, a metal piece soldered or a shell drilled. The two jewelry stores have come together under one roof in the 1920s house that has been home to Bead Breakout since 2005. The setting features a fireplace, oriental rugs, and an uplifting ambience. It has been described as having a therapeutic and calming effect, laced with an element of excitement. “Our philosophy is to meet the customers’ needs, be helpful, and make it an enjoyable experience,” Taylor said. “We enjoy working alongside the customer, discussing design ideas, personal experiences they may want to represent in the creation of something sentimental, or just a fun, beautiful item they feel they’ve had a part in designing.” Taylor built on a philosophy of tapping into what comforts people, stemming from her work as a research assistant for Dr. Wende Logan-Young of Elizabeth Wende Breast Care. Taylor had the idea of selling beaded jewelry at the clinic, and also making massages available to enhance the comfort-
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Images of some of Taylor and Vidrascu’s jewelry and beading supplies. PHOTOS BY RENEE VENISKEY
Andrea Taylor, left, with Mariela Vidrascu in front of their Monroe Avenue location.
ing environment for those waiting for a mammogram or test results. She continues her vision in her store, instilling warm welcoming feelings and personal attention. Vidrascu, and her husband, Stefan, searched for the right partner to join forces toward a similar vision. “We looked at health spas, clothing stores, and many other businesses as prospective partners,” Vidrascu said. “When we met Andrea, we knew right away that her personality and the atmosphere of her store was perfect. We had found our partner.” Stefan Otter Jewelers specializes in designing and creating precious and semiprecious pieces with fine gold and silver. Their design guidance assists customers in repurposing treasured jewelry, such as a family heirloom or a gift from someone who has passed. The finished piece will be one in which the customer played integral part of designing. Enhancing the daily retail offerings, the two stores can host bridal parties, where the participants design their own accessories, and also “Beading on the Road,” which travels to wineries, country clubs, and recreation centers. Learn more at beadbreakout.com or stefanotter.com.
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Valentine’s Day gift ideas … here’s what’s trending
From simple stretch bracelets to precious gem jewelry, Bead Breakout and Stefan Otter offer gift solutions. Following popular trends may be helpful in sparking your creative spirit. Here are several that are popular in New York, London, and Paris (Vogue): Upcycling everyday objects is popular. Party-girl earrings are in — the glam and glitz goes with everything. Cuffs and over-the-sleeve bracelets are fun. Strings of pearls — of all colors, extra-large to minutely small can be worn with jeans or formal attire — and layering is a must! Layering necklaces and bracelets with charms and interesting dangles are trendy and fun to collect. Long, graphic hoops or ear cuffs: and only one is great, too. Chokers with silver-dipped chains are dramatic. Raw, and radically different stones are an attractive juxtaposed treasure. Cords, silk threads, and fabric mixed with beads and stones look great.
Ready to live audaciously? It’s time to tame your fears and start living your happiest year yet An “audacious believer” is someone who pursues goals and aspirations no matter what — and realizes we are just one extraordinary decision from transforming our lives every single day. Just because you’ve had a few bad chapters, it doesn’t mean your story can’t end well. Don’t lose faith in yourself. There is still hope (even when we hit bumps along the way … like setting a fitness goal and being overtaken by the temptation of nachos at the movie theater). As we transition into a new year full of possibility, uncertainty, and decisions, we have an incredible opportunity to remake our lives from the inside out. This is a chance to start at step one, day one, and make the next chapter of our lives as incredible as we desire it to be. I’ve learned that you can’t be who you used to be and who you’re going to be at the same time. It’s time to tame your fears and start living your happiest year yet. Here are three success secrets that I shared at the 2017 Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference that can help you transform your life and manifest your dreams.
Reframe
Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20. Keep your eyes on your own paper and stay focused on accomplishing micro goals that will lead to macro wins in your life and business. Quit beating yourself up, you are not a final project but an amazing work in progress. Create a trigger for yourself to help you reframe your mind when you’re
Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is the one you see in the mirror everyday. It’s time to stop replaying regrets and find the strength to start over. We can not erase the past but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Everyday is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again.
The odds of hitting a target go up dramatically when you aim at it. feeling low. When negative thoughts come, press on the inside of your hand and shut that negative voice down and speak positivity to yourself. I use affirmations to encourage myself every day, and you should, too. Remind yourself daily that you are valuable to your family, your employer, and most importantly to yourself.
Refresh
Before we can obtain something new, we have to be willing to let go of something old. Transformation happens when you’re willing to let go of your old mindset, which is often worn down by failures, disappointments, and unmet expectations.
Reignite
Creating a life you truly love starts with figuring out what you truly want in life. The odds of hitting a target go up dramatically when you aim at it. Think about your life in terms of your image, health, career, home, finances, travel, love life, effectiveness, and attitude. Create a list of 100 goals concerning your life and purpose. Set a timer for two minutes to help you brain dump your deepest and truest desires first. Even if you don’t list all 100 in the allotted time, you’ll have a clearer idea of the direction you want your life to head in. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is forgetting to put their thoughts and goals into action. Action is the prescription for success. Sometimes all we need to do is be surrounded by a group of others trying to do better. The 2018 Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference is April 28 in Rochester. Secure your seat now at DanteWorth.com/conference. (Use promo code “SHEROCS” for a special discount.) She Rocs
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KEEP CALM and CALL
Dr. Meami
Love yourself into losing weight First, clean up your house (vs. the fridge) DEAR DR. MEAMI: I just came from
a doctor’s appointment where I was told to lose 50 pounds fast or my health may suffer, even being at risk for a heart attack. But I don’t think I really can follow the diet my doctor gave me. Help! Signed, Beth from Brighton
DEAR BETH: It amazes me that in doctors’ offices across America, physicians still actually hand overweight woman a piece of paper with a diet printed on it, telling her to “start exercising,” and send her out the door to drop 10 pounds or more. That’s like handing a toddler some sheet music and sitting her down at the piano to play a concerto—ain’t gonna happen! And yet, many women reading this feel like a guilty failure because excess weight stays on, thinking it’s as simple as the old “calories in versus calories burned” routine. If that’s you, read on please, and let 2018 be the year you create an internal shift inside yourself that allows you to release your extra pounds of pain by loving yourself into losing the weight. There are all kinds of action steps you can take to be kind to yourself and take great care of yourself, but it goes very far beyond the trite advice women often get, like take a candlelit bubble bath or get a mani-pedi. Here is my radical new viewpoint: if you take total control of all the clutter in your life you can best take control of all the eating in your life. With my clients who need to lose weight, one of the first things we do is look carefully at organization in her home, workplace, car, e-mailbox, daily schedule, and even in her purse. Yes, a healthy, happy body and mind can be created by you and for you by cleaning out your purse on a daily basis to start 12
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Any sense of positive control we feel we have over our lives, statistically leads to a greater feeling of happiness. Why? It is a proven, scientific fact that clutter in your home and in your life causes women in particular to feel anxiety, which often causes stress overeating. A study done by UCLA’s Center on Everyday Lives and Families discovered women who live in messy, disorganized homes have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their bodies. Cortisol not only prevents weight loss, but it’s even linked to more fat in the belly area. And get this: the study showed mess affects men’s cortisol levels, too, but at much lower levels. That’s why the man in your life can easily navigate his way through stacks of bills and over piles of dirty laundry and be unfazed by all the mess ... and you as a woman cannot. If the sleeve of Oreos tucked behind the
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healthy homemade kale chips begin calling you when you walk into your home that’s in disarray, you are not alone — but you are out of control in key areas of your life that are directly linked to being overweight. Committing to organized, intuitive eating on a unique plan you choose for yourself can give you a calming feeling of control over your entire life. Any sense of positive control we feel we have over our lives statistically leads to a greater feeling of happiness moment by moment, too. The bottom line is that you can love yourself into losing weight with practical action steps including organizing your life without being overwhelmed in the process. Or, you can look into the mirror right now, hate your current body shape so much you decide to punitively deprive yourself of food you enjoy to try to decrease the numbers on the scale. But thousands who lose that way inevitably gain it all back. This says it all: the December 2017 issue of Good Housekeeping had this on its cover: “Eat and Drink: DON’T GAIN WEIGHT!” That’s right, the great paradox is that women in America in 2018 are supposed to survive and thrive in our totally foodobsessed culture while remaining sleek, slim, and sexy no matter what. The “ideal” woman shows up to a party in a slinky dress with stylish stilettos, but doesn’t drink the champagne or pop down one too many sausage cheese balls in fear she’ll explode into being a size 12 (or 14, God forbid, as most American women actually are) … with a big L on your forehead for LAZY, right? WRONG! In this magazine, She Rocs, women are encouraged to claim themselves as they really are — as authentic human beings with smart minds eager to learn, souls full of savvy self love, hearts that hurt and heal, and a body we can relax about changing. Now that’s empowerment.
Kick off healthy-eating habits while watching the big game ful and easiest tips. By filling your plate with the good stuff first it ensures you are getting nutrients, and it leaves less room for junk. If you have a say in the arrangement of the food, place the salad and veggies first in the food line to encourage people to fill plates with the good stuff. It is proven that whatever foods you see first will occupy the most space on your plate, so do yourself a favor and put those healthy goodies first.
By OLIVIA TEMPLETON
As we surround ourselves with family and friends this winter, we tend to also surround ourselves with comfort food – especially at parties, including the ultimate big game food fiasco. In my Greek family, food does not disappoint. But the guilt can get the better of us. It’s not easy eating healthy, right? Well, through trial and error, I’ve come to realize you can win the food fight. Here’s a list of tips for eating healthier at parties:
Wait five minutes before Round Two
Eat a healthy snack before the party
Food doesn’t digest instantaneously. It takes the body time to start digestion and send the brain a message that it is actually full. By waiting that extra couple of minutes, the body will tell you if it needs more food or is satiated.
This will reduce the urge to grab those sneaky snacks before dinner is served. Choose a snack with protein and healthy fats to help hold you over. My favorite snack is an apple with peanut butter.
There will be more parties
Bring a healthy dish
Pretty self-explanatory. If you are asked to bring a dish, bring something nutritious that you (and others) will eat. This guarantees something healthy and delicious is available. Suggestions include a mixed green salad, fruit salad, caprese salad, tomato and chickpea salad, roasted veggies, quinoa tabbouleh, vegetable coleslaw, and mini stuffed peppers.
Do not hang out by the food
Easier said than done. At parties I find I munch even when I am not hungry, almost as a reflex. Just because it’s there, or other people are eating, doesn’t mean you need to snack to fit in. In a way, it’s a sort of unintentional peer pressure. Now, I am not discouraging eating, because like you, I love food, I am encouraging making conscious decisions and eating when the body is actually hungry.
Would I eat an apple?
Ask yourself this question when you are about to get a second snack/plate/dessert.
If the answer is, “No, I wouldn’t eat an apple now,” you’re probably not hungry, but just giving into cravings. I got this tip from blogilates.com and I love it! I ask myself this at home, too, when I can’t figure out if I am hungry or bored. (If apples aren’t your cup of tea, any produce works.)
Fill your plate first with salad veggies and fruit I find this to be one of the most help-
If you are debating getting another bite, even though you’re completely stuffed, remember there will be more parties, more food.
Set goals
Before you even get to the party, make a goal. For example, plan to eat just one cookie instead of the usual three. Make goals achievable because the point is to succeed.
Learn from your mistakes
If something sets you into a downward spiral at one party remember that and think of ways to prevent the same thing from happening again. Remember, moderation is the key, even if enjoying some cake or chips. And sure, healthy eating is tough when that delicious-looking and delicioussmelling pizza is taunting you, so take small steps and also create some healthy eating tips that work for you. She Rocs
January/February 2018
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