Autumn 2017
A health & family focused digital publication & community
International Babywearing Week Ages + Stages
From Newborn to Teen
Our Annual
School Lunch Guide
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Publisher & Editor
Amity Hook-Sopko
Creative Director
Amanda Hearn
Advertising Director
Jesse Kingston
Copy Editor
Megan McCoy Dellecese
Media & Other Inquiries
media@greenchildmagazine.com
Cover Photography
Christina Birkinbine
Contributors
Erin Peloquin Hilary Thompson Alison Elsberry Dr. Laura Markham Kelly Bartlett Lea McKnoulty Jen Aprea Kim Rosas Maggie Chilton, RHN Mellisa Dormoy, CH Green Child is owned and published electronically by Fresh Green Media, LLC. Copyright 2017. All rights reserved. 2
Contents 4 Eco Fab
Our favorite sustainable picks for Fall
6 Look Listen Read 8 Rising Moon Tribe
An interview with 10-year-old founder Torie Griffin
10 Get in the Picture
Making memories for your family
14 Healthy School Lunch Ideas 24 Nutritional Nuggets 26 Ages + Stages 26 Baby: The benefits of co-sleeping 28 Toddler: Supporting your toddler through a meltdown 30 Preschool: Curbing aggressive behavior 32 Gradeschool: Encouraging critical thinking skills 34 Tween: 7 Mindful sleep exercises 36 Teen: Navigating newfound independence
38 I Carry You in My Heart
International Babywearing Week
54 A Healthier Halloween 57 Guided Relaxation
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ecofab JOYN Bag Fair Trade, boho-inspired bags from JOYN are some of our favorite affordable finds for fall. Each piece is uniquely handmade by local artisans in India from sustainable materials.
Radiance Booster Add a bit of radiance to your morning routine. Vernal Bee Radiant Booster Face Oil is a vitamin-packed, antioxidant-rich elixir for your skin. Free of parabens, sulfates, phthalates, silicone, petroleum, artificial fragrance and colors. 4
Do-It-All Salve Just in time for the cooler, dry air of fall, Motherlove’s all natural Green Salve soothes and eases the discomforts of rashes, and chapped or irritated skin. Made with 100% certified organic ingredients, this salve is a must have for your home first aid kit.
Low-Tech Cuppa A great cup of coffee doesn’t have to come from a giant countertop gadget. Mixpresso’s Pour Over coffee maker is a gorgeous carafe and brewing vessel in one, made from non-porous borosilicate glass.
UBrands Pens We’ve added these decadent felt tip pens from UBrands to our Back to School shopping list. With no smearing, skipping, or bleeding through the paper, you might find yourself writing an old-fashioned letter. 5
look listen read
Sleepless Nights and Kisses for Breakfast: Reflections on Fatherhood by Matteo Bussola
An endearing yet dry humor-filled memoir of an Italian father reflecting upon the beauty and insanity of ordinary moments with his family. Divided into winter, spring, summer, and fall, the book follows the seasons of parenthood and life. “Virginia, Ginevra, and Melania are the lens through which I observe the world. My daughters remind me that being a father means living in that gray area between responsibility and carelessness, strength and softness.” The book has been translated from Italian, but not one special moment or hilarious story is lost in translation.
Brains On! Podcast “We ask questions and go wherever the answers take us.” To us, this beautifully sums up how to encourage a child’s love of learning. Sure, kids can listen to the same science or educational podcasts as you, but when they go over a child’s head in subject matter or explanation, it can leave you scrambling for answers. That’s why it’s fun to find a science podcast design for children and hosted by a different kid each week. Brains On! by American Public Media shares interviews, music, timely topics, and classic principles… all with an air of fun and curiosity.
A Wrinkle in Time
by Madeleine L’Engle
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If your family hasn’t read this Newberry award-winning classic, now is the time! The upcoming film version of the book has us almost too excited to wait until early next year. Get to know Meg and Charles Wallace Murry, Calvin O’Keefe, and the three Mrs. -- Who, Whatsit, and Which -- the memorable and wonderful characters who fight off a dark force and save our universe. For older kids, there’s a graphic novel that’s sure to entertain.
Making Mindful Magic by Lea McKnoulty
If you’d like to find more opportunities to practice mindfulness with your little ones, this book is an easy way to start. With illustrations filled with whimsy and activities that encourage you to take as long as you can (“Why hurry? Must everything be fast?”), Making Mindful Magic is a delightful way to slow down. You can read a page a day and practice with a younger child, or let your older child enjoy the book during her own quiet time. The book ends with plenty of discussion points and suggestions for bringing these mindful practices into your everyday life.
Tall Tall Tree
by Anthony D Fredericks
Dawn Publications is home to some of our favorite naturethemed books for children. Kids love finding hidden animals or insects among the detailed illustrations. Their latest release, Tall Tall Tree, is one your preschooler will want to hear again and again, while early readers will enjoy it on their own. The turn of every page reveals a unique perspective on the redwood’s many moods. Enriching STEAM activities complement the story., and you’ll find two free downloadable activities to accompany the book.
The OverDrive App OverDrive is every book lover’s dream. By connecting your library card, you can access thousands of ebooks, audiobooks, and videos through your mobile device. You’ll find everything from how-to and self-help to the latest fiction. They even have the Harry Potter series on audiobook, complete with Jim Dale’s delightful character voices. You can sync books across devices, create bookmarks, and change the playback speed or font size. We depend on OverDrive for work, fun, and even homeschooling… so much that when our library card expired, we went in the same day to renew so we didn’t lose access to any of our books! 7
Green Child Talks with Torie Griffin,
Founder of Rising Moon Tribe
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What is Rising Moon Tribe? It’s a fun company I started that helps girls honor the transition into womanhood. We make awesome period prep kits and host gatherings that celebrate our moon cycles. In my mom’s family, all the girls celebrate their cycles. They call cousins and aunts and grandmothers and happily cheer, “I’m a woman now!” I noticed my friends worrying, being embarrassed, thinking it’s gross and not celebrating at all. And I wanted to change that.
How did you get the idea? Well, one of my girlfriends got her period and came over to my house right afterward. A few other friends were there and helped talk her through her first day. It was really sweet and helpful, even for us girls that had not started yet. I was telling my mom about it, and the idea just grew from that conversation.
Photography by Jenna Peffley @jennapeffley
What is in your kits? My mom and I have been indigo shibori dying recycled fabric by hand, and a friend is sewing it into pretty bags, which I’m stuffing with period supply samples. And we have a bracelet kit that you can make yourself. I wear mine all the time, but it’s included so you can wear it during your period to let your family know that you need a little extra love that week. We also have this awesome book called Reaching for the Moon by Lucy Pearce. I love it. I’ve read it at least 10 times. And a rose quartz, because it’s a symbol of love.
Tell us about your moon circle events. How can mothers and daughters create their own gatherings? We just spend time honoring our woman-
hood. At our last party, it was me, my mom, aunt, and some new friends and moon-mothers. We taught everyone how to make flower crowns. We nourished our bodies with delicious smoothie bowls. I played music on my guitar. We made flower mandalas and laughed and talked about what was coming up for us younger girls with puberty and the changes we are about to go through. It was really beautiful and fun. I’m looking forward to hosting the next one for sure.
You’re only ten. Do you have help running your business? Yes. Totally. My parents own a business so my mom has been teaching me a lot of stuff about inventory and taxes and customer service. And my aunt (Jenna Peffley) is a professional photographer, so she’s been teaching me the artistic side of things. I designed the logo myself, and I make a lot of our social media posts. We have a lot of phone calls and text conversations. I’m homeschooled, so my parents like when I learn things in a real world kind of way. It’s a win-win.
How can people find you? We share inspiration daily on our Instagram @ risingmoontribe. And our website, of course. risingmoontribe.com Our Mission: To celebrate womanhood and honor moon time. Our Vision: To inspire lifelong bonds in communities educated about female cycles. To encourage open conversation between pre-menstruating and menstruating girls with their friends and caregivers. To make periods cool through moon parties, beautiful products, and positive honest conversation. 9
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Get in the Picture
making lasting memories for your family |by Erin Peloquin Stop for a moment and think about the number of photos that you’ve taken of your kids versus the photos you have from your childhood. Most of us today are lucky to have a few shoeboxes full of photos and maybe a scrapbook or two our mothers made for us. Our kids, however, will have thousands of photos that document every aspect of their lives. Between DSLRs and mobile phone cameras, it’s easy for today’s parents to take photos and videos whenever we want to make a moment last forever: moments as important as first steps and as mundane as a silly expression at the dinner table. These photos you take of your kids will shape the memories of their childhood. The very fact that they will have such a vibrant digital history makes it all the more important for you to get in the pictures. What’s missing from most of the photos you take of your children? You are.
Why You Should Get in the Picture Most people reach for their cameras to freeze a moment in time - a moment with their kids they want to remember forever. But those
photos will do so much more for your kids: they’ll be a source of insight on family life and history, plus a reminder of you when you are gone. • Be in the picture to answer questions that you asked about your own childhood after you became a parent. What was the expression on your dad’s face when you asked him to read Goodnight Moon for the 100th time? Was your mom’s house ever spotless when you were a baby? While you might not be able to remember details from your own childhood, you can document answers to your questions for your kids. • Be in the picture because you are part of your children’s memories. You go out of your way to create memories for your kids. You plan, you cook, you carpool. You read books and go swimming and play Go Fish 45 million times. Your kids deserve to remember all these little details that add up to an incredible amount of love. • Be in the picture so that your kids have a realistic view of the world. What does it tell your kids when they are the only subjects of your photos? You don’t want them to think that the world revolves around them. They need to learn to share the spotlight. 11
Get in the Picture
• Be in the picture because you are important. Taking a photo of someone tells them that they are important. And if you are never in photos, that implies that you aren’t as important as the people you take pictures of all the time. • Be in the picture because when your kids grow up, they won’t be interested in random photos of themselves in isolation. They will treasure photos that show interaction or emotion. It’s not the photo of your daughter with messy finger-painting hands. It’s the photo of you together with her, and how you had finger paint all over your face as you tried to clean her. • Be in the picture to promote positive body image. When you look at photos from your childhood, do you notice that your mom wasn’t wearing lipstick? Not for a minute, right? Remember that your children love you as you are. If you model not being in photos until you look perfect, you are teaching your kids that appearance is the most important consideration.
How to Get in the Picture
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• Let the kids take the photos - You might be surprised about what the kids think is photo worthy in your life. • Use the timer on your camera or phone This is an amazing technique to show you interacting with your kids or to document what your daily routine is like. Imagine how happy it will make them one day to look back on moments that they don’t remember and realize how much time you spent together. • Hand the camera to Dad - Don’t worry if he doesn’t know how to use it. You’ll record a special moment anyway. Once you get used to putting yourself in your photos, make it a goal to capture the details and routine of your life - photos shouldn’t just be for special occasions and milestones. What makes you happy every day? Is it snuggles on the sofa first thing in the morning? That’s what you need photos of. What is it that you want your kids to remember beyond the special occasions? Focus on the details that make you and your kids happy every day.
This is the easy part! With a little creativity, you can be in many of the photos you take of your kids.
Imagine the gift you will give your children with a well-documented childhood. Give them a story that is complete and authentic, not manicured and controlled.
• Pull out the selfie stick - They get a bad rap, but selfie sticks help you get everyone in the photo - yourself included. Choose one that connects to your phone via Bluetooth. Kids love pushing the shutter button on the selfie sticks - that’s a sure way to make them smile.
Give them the gift of memories: memories that show you interacting with them and the life you create for them. It’s this interaction with you that will warm their hearts and inspire them for the rest of their lives. And there’s no better reason than that to get in the picture.
@nicho le_min ime_bonilla @ heat he r_ho rt m an
@ hip st u rbia_m o m
@ catea n dil a
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l o o h c S o t k-
c a B s ’ M C G
s a e d I h c un
L y h t Heal
Quesadilla Time • Grilled Caprese Quesadilla • Organic Berry Mix • Banana
Featured • Kleen Kanteen • Funkins
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Photography by Kimberly Rosas @kim_rosas
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Pita Bus • Chicken & Cucumber Pita • Sugar Snap Peas • Inner Peas • Orange & Pomegranate Mix
Featured • Stasher Bag • Marcus & Marcus School Bus Muffin Cup 16
Breakfast for Lunch • Organic Waffles • Maple Syrup • Bacon • Hard Boiled Egg • Organic O’s & Crunchies Freeze Dried Strawberries • Pinapple & Blackberry Mix
Featured • Planetbox
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It’s a Wrap! • Grilled Chicken Lettuce Wrap (Chicken, Cherry Tomatoes, Cheese, & Sweet Potato Strips) • Quinoa Chips • Curly Sweet Potato Fries • Kombucha Jigglers with Pomegranate Seeds • Roasted Chickpeas
Featured • Planetbox • Klean Kanteen
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Field Trip Lunch ( Tossable / Recyclable ) • Almond Butter & Jelly Sandwich • Broccoli Florets • Grape Medley • Yum Earth Gummies • HappyTot Alphabet Cookie
Tip • Save plastic fruit & veggie containers & paper bags so you don’t have to send too many packaged foods!
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Soup For You • Butternut Squash + Basil Soup • Organic Maui Onion Seaweed Snack • Trader Joe’s Chia Seed Bar
Featured • Lego Lunch Box • Zoli Toki Doki Insulated Container & Drink Bottle 21
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Build Your Own Pizza
Featured
• Mini Tortillas (or a big one cut into four) • Sliced Pepperoni • Shredded Cheese • Tomato Sauce • Mandarin Orange
• Planetbox • Funkins
www.attachmentparenting.org
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Nutritional Nuggets Maggie Chilton, RHN answers your questions!
Question: Our daughter, age 6, was recently diagnosed with some dairy sensitivities. Her pediatrician said she doesn’t have to avoid all dairy all the time… she could have a slice of pizza at a birthday party if she wants, but she’ll probably experience some digestive trouble or it could cause her eczema to flare up. We’d prefer to keep her as dairy-free as possible since it causes inflammation. I’ve read that we shouldn’t just go straight to soy-everything because of pesticides and estrogen? So we’d really like to know what are the best dairy-substitutes that are healthy and kid-friendly.
Dairy can be a highly inflammatory food, particularly for those in the U.S. where the animals are generally given antibiotics and growth hormones and where they’re fed a diet of grains. Choosing a reliable organic source would be a good choice for those times when your daughter does eat dairy to ensure she’s consuming a cleaner and healthier source. Depending on the type of sensitivity, either lactose and/or casein (the milk protein), she
might be able to eat ghee if she is lactose sensitive, but not if she is casein sensitive. According to the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, “Milk is one of eight allergens with specific labeling requirements under the Food Allergen Labeling and Consumer Protection Act of 2004. That law requires manufacturers of packaged food products sold in the U.S. and containing milk as an ingredient to include the presence of milk or milk products, in clear language, on the ingredient label.” Ensuring she has a good source of calcium is vital for healthy teeth and bones. Calcium also helps the body maintain healthy blood vessels, regulate blood pressure, and prevent insulin resistance (which could lead to Type 2 diabetes). Some great sources are wild salmon, white beans, sardines, bok choy, kale, almonds, sesame seeds, seaweed, collard green, broccoli, figs, and oranges. To avoid dairy altogether, there are some great alternatives, but you’ll want to read labels consistently. Most nut milks bought in
As a Registered Holistic Nutritionist (RHN), Maggie specializes in hormone balancing and digestive health. Maggie’s passion for real food and continual dedication to motivate, inspire and empower women in particular, has led her to connect with clients on an international scale. 24
the store must be shelf-stable, which translates to added ingredients for a longer shelf life and added flavor (often via sugar). Also it can be costly to produce nut milk so some manufacturers cut back on the nuts and add more water instead. The good news is: it’s simple to make nut milk at home. If you have a good blender, making almond milk is very easy. Soak almonds overnight (to soften), rinse, and place in the blender with fresh filtered water and blend on high. Strain the milk, and you can even use the pulp for muffins or cookies. If you prefer a little flavor, add dates or pure vanilla. You can do the same with hemp seeds, macadamia nuts, cashews, and more. Your milk will always be fresh and you’ll know exactly what’s in it.
For a tasty cheese alternative cashew cheese is nutritious and very versatile. For recipes that require a cream cheese for example, or for “cheesecakes” soaking cashews and blending them into a recipe is a delicious and creamy alternative. You can even make cashew cheese at home and add in your favorite ingredients such as peppers, garlic, herbs etc. For pizza toppings, try a little organic raw cheese and then pump up the cheesy flavor by sprinkling nutritional yeast on the top. Nutritional yeast is a great source of B vitamins and the cheesy flavor goes well on pizza.
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The 4 Greatest Benefits
of Co-sleeping |by Hilary Thompson
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separately. Parental anecdotes and research suggest that co-sleeping helps both parents and newborns sleep better.
With 72% of postpartum women reporting waking up tired and getting less than seven hours of sleep at night, you are not alone in losing sleep caring for a newborn. Countless other sleep-deprived parents have experimented and found sleep strategies that work, with co-sleeping being a worldwide favorite.
The Benefits of Co-Sleeping for Your Baby
In a co-sleeping situation, a newborn sleeps in the same room as her parents—usually in a bassinet near the bed—instead of sleeping
By sleeping in the same room as your child, not only are you able to sense your baby’s needs more easily, but you also can meet those
ages + stages | baby needs more quickly. Co-sleeping helps minimize the amount of sleep disruption for both you and your baby.
sleep with co-sleeping because they lose less sleep from nighttime feedings. Makes Night Feeding Less Nightmarish
Helps Baby Sleep Through the Night With your baby sleeping in the same room, you easily sense your baby’s distress before he startles or starts to cry, which releases adrenaline, raises heart rate and blood pressure, making it harder for him to fall back asleep. Research has shown that co-sleeping newborns startle and cry significantly less than solo-sleepers. And if your newborn wakes and cries less during the night, everyone gets better sleep. Reduces the Risk of SIDS The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents share a room with their newborn for the first six months because co-sleeping reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome. International research shows that countries with the lowest SIDS rates are where co-sleeping is the norm, not the exception. Keeping this recommendation in mind, cosleeping with your baby reduces many sleep safety risks. Sharing a room with your newborn gives you the ability to immediately respond to her needs.
the Benefits of Co-Sleeping for Parents Parents also benefit from co-sleeping, with many finding more restful nights and a closer connection to their child. Parents get more
It may seem like waking up and walking down a hallway to feed your newborn wouldn’t impact your sleep, but it does. Changing position and even light activity make it harder to fall back to sleep. Feeding while co-sleeping just requires rolling over and sitting up, helping you get back to sleep faster. It’s not just parents who fall asleep faster with this feeding situation. In fact, one study has found that newborns who feed while co-sleeping actually have shorter wake times and fall back asleep faster too. Co-sleeping helps everyone get better sleep. Fosters Greater Connection with Your Baby Many parents who co-sleep express feeling more in sync with both the biological and emotional needs of their children. It is common knowledge that physical touch is essential to healthy child development, but parents also benefit from physical contact with their children. Touch for parents stimulates the release of oxytocin. This hormone strengthens the connection between parent and child. Many parents believe this connection fostered during co-sleeping makes them more empathetic and mindful of their children as they grow older. If you want to foster a greater connection with your child, co-sleeping might be the answer for your family.
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Supporting Your Toddler
Through a Meltdown |by Alison Elsberry Toddlerhood is a time when your child’s wild spirit is just beginning to explore and make sense of the world around him. There’s naturally going to be plenty of swirling emotions as he encounters people, places, and situations he doesn’t yet understand. And your child doesn’t always know what words to use or what to do with all of the new feelings that come up. Finding words to communicate can often feel challenging, overwhelming and frustrating when he’s having such intense feelings. Perhaps you’ve asked your child to use his words when he’s having an epic meltdown? It’s incredibly frustrating and stressful for both of you when he’s crying, screaming, and upset. Especially when it happens in a public place. You just want it to stop.
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Yet, if you ask your child to use his words instead of behaving a certain way, it often intensifies the situation. That’s because your child’s soul didn’t come into this life knowing how to naturally communicate with spoken words. That’s a learned skill that develops over time at his own rhythm and pace.
Energy is the natural language and expression of your child’s soul. It’s the unspoken words and nonverbal communication that occurs quickly and gives instant feedback... sometimes without any conscious thought. And your child knows how to use this language effectively. Especially when she’s trying to get your attention. It takes time for her to put words to the unspoken ways she’s used to communicating. And it requires an important skill – connecting her energy (or spirit) with her body. Your child needs to feel something before she learns to recognize and make sense of it in her brain. It’s how children are wired. Because words are formulated after they feel something. They need the experience to make the connection between their energy and their body. And it’s how your child chooses how he feels instead of having someone decide for him. It also helps your child learn more effective ways of expressing his emotions that still get heard without resistance or drama.
ages + stages | toddler
So the next time your child is having a meltdown try this Let her have it. Allow her the space to feel deeply. Give yourself 100% permission to have your emotions too by acknowledging what comes up. Take a few deep breaths as you allow yourself to be fully present with yourself and your child. Maybe she needs a loving hug of reassurance or to be validated in what she’s experiencing. You’ll notice your child’s emotions shift on their own when you acknowledge them and allow them to be there instead of trying to fix or control their energy.
Emotion is energy just trying to move itself. By giving it permission to be there, more space is created for both of you to feel validated and heard without judgment. It may not always look pretty or feel good when it’s happening, yet it’s one of the ways your child learns how to express themselves instead of hiding those feelings or pushing them down for fear of rejection or ridicule. Because underneath it all, your child’s spirit just wants to be heard and acknowledged, no matter how it comes out. 29
how to curb
Your Preschooler’s Aggressive Behavior 30
|by Kelly Bartlett
ages + stages | preschool
When it comes to children’s difficult behavior, a parent’s first question is usually, “What should I do?” We tend to want to eliminate it, fix it, or get it under control. But it’s important to understand that the behaviors we see in our children are merely the tip of the iceberg; the bulk of behavior issues stem from below the surface. What we see is just a natural extension of the development occurring underneath. Rather than fight against it, you’ll find more success in working with a child’s development to shape behavior. Though the age of frequent tantrums may be over, life’s frustrations are not. And what once may have triggered cries and tears of epic proportions may manifest differently in a the 3 to 4 year old child: aggression. Aggressive behavior is rooted in frustration. When a child encounters frustration in her life—from small problems like not getting the dessert she wants, to larger issues such as an extended absence of a parent—her feelings will inevitably surface. Parents often want to address occurrences of aggression with a consequence. They adopt a “you hit, you sit” approach with timeouts, punishments, or other imposed consequences intended to teach the lesson that aggressive behavior is unacceptable. True - hitting, biting, or other aggressive behaviors are not acceptable. But they are also not the root problem to be addressed. Hitting is the manifestation of unresolved feelings of anger, fear, and frustration. It is due to an immature prefrontal cortex and poor communication between the logical brain and
the midbrain. Most importantly, it stems from a child’s inability to adapt to futility. The key to finding a solution to hitting, then, becomes about addressing the child’s adaptive process, not the behavior itself.
Tips for Working With Aggression Be close with her often to help prevent these aggressive reactions. If you see your child is getting frustrated, quickly move closer to help. Realize she has an immature brain and is physically unable to control her aggression when her emotions are running strong. Physically place yourself between her and the other child. Empathize with her to draw out tears instead of aggression. “I can tell you are really frustrated right now.” “You’re very angry that your friend knocked over your tower.” “It’s sad to lose a game, isn’t it?” Encourage her to cry. Tears facilitate the adaptive process by providing an emotional outlet. The brain is able to adapt to adversity without moving to aggression. Once you’ve addressed her feelings, address her needs. “You were feeling hurt; you need to be included with your friends.” “You felt annoyed; you need to be able to make your own choices.” Identifying valid needs is the first step for a child to be able to understand how to solve problems. Remember, children are mirrors of the behavior they see around them. The best way to model self-control is by remaining calm and expressing your feelings in reasonable, rational ways. 31
Helping Your Child
Develop Critical Thinking Skills |by Kelly Bartlett
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ages + stages | gradeschool
Some children are naturally skilled at solving problems and thinking critically. Others are naturally inclined to accept what they’re told without evaluating it first. With the abundance of information available to this generation, it’s likely more important than ever to foster strong critical thinking skills.
Here are some ways you can help develop these skills. Give her opportunities to take on responsibility. It is important for children to step outside of their comfort zone and take on tasks that are typically done for them. The only way for kids to be able to answer the question, “How am I going to solve this problem?” is to be in situations in which they need to solve problems. Let him make his own lunches or do his own laundry; he will soon experience the dilemma of a low-stocked pantry or empty underwear drawer. Let him get stumped over the responsibilities of life and encourage him to think through the next best course of action. Allow him to do things his own way, even if it seems inefficient to you. Different doesn’t mean wrong, and it sometimes leads to surprising outcomes (as well as improved thinking skills). Accept mistakes. In order to learn how to be successful, children need to experience failure. As a parent, mistakes can be hard to watch, but they are a necessary precursor to a child getting up and trying again. Mistakes are opportunities for thinking differently and for learning.
Process your child’s decisions together. Ask follow-up questions to help her talk through her thought process. • • • •
What did you decide to do? What was the hardest part? Did anything surprise you? Would you do it again this way?
Once again, this reinforces the neural connections in the part of the brain that processes problem solving. Make time for free play. Unstructured time at home allows children to play and learn in an environment that is unrestricted by any set outcome. This alone encourages the development of new neural pathways as children navigate their own experimentation and learning. Open-ended play offers a countless ways for children to think about the world and make their own decisions. Try different kinds of puzzle games. Next time you know you’ll be waiting at a restaurant, try bringing a book of riddles to keep your family occupied. Or an age-appropriate Brain Quest flip-book, Mind Benders, or even Mad Libs for kids. Puzzles like word games, math games, brain teasers, riddles, or IQ-style questions are fun ways to pass the time and give kids wonderful opportunities to exercise their critical thinking muscles. With a few small changes to your routine, you can find plenty of ways to get kids to think through solutions to problems great and small. You’ll find your child growing into an independent, well-rounded thinker! 33
“If you can cultivate wholesome mental states prior to sleep and allow them to continue right into sleep without getting distracted, then sleep itself becomes wholesome.”
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama, “Sleeping, Dreaming and Dying”
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ages + stages | tween
7 Mindful Exercises to Help Tweens Sleep |by Lea McKnoulty Children who maintain a regular pattern of quality sleep are generally better able to cope with life’s challenges. They tend to be less irritable, more focused, and they experience fewer behavioral outbursts. Kids need routine in their lives to help them feel secure and untroubled. Even at the preteen stage, a nighttime routine is essential for a calm transition from the day’s busyness to a state of relaxation. As adults, we can recognize this in our own lives – trying to sleep while we are still caught up in our thoughts or smart phone does not a great night’s sleep make! So make your tween’s bedroom a tech-free zone and choose one or two of these seven mindfulness practices. Or try them all out and see which ones work best for your family.
Write a Journal
Simply ask your child the question, “How do I feel today?” You can write on a single sheet or you can buy a special journal for this purpose.
Listen to the Sounds of Nature
The calming sound of waves gently crashing is mesmerizing and brings us into the present moment to escape the racing thoughts of our busy minds.
Color a Mandala
By coloring a mandala, because of the circular, rhythmic, regular pattern, we allow our brains to calm and therefore prepare for relaxation and sleep.
Play Calming Music
Sitting quietly is really a pre-meditation experience that brings peace and calm to our lives and subsequently slows down our whole physiology, great for pre-bedtime.
Music has a special way of touching our souls, lifting us up, and releasing emotions as well as calming our bodies and minds. A little calming music before bedtime can help settle scattered minds and bring them down a few notches in readiness for calm, restful sleep.
Listen to a Guided Meditation
Do Relaxing Yoga Asanas
Sit Quietly
Listening to a guided meditation can calm and empty the mind easily and get your kids to sit still whilst still giving them something to focus on.
Yoga is universally recognized for connecting the body, mind, and spirit, and for bringing peace and calm to our physiology. 35
Navigating Your Teen’s Budding Independence by Dr. Laura Markham Aha Parenting.
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ages + stages | teen
It’s appropriate for teens to want to spend more time with their peers than their parents as they get older. Our job is raising kids to become independent, and that means they need to test their wings by moving out into the wider world. Luckily, if we’ve accepted our child’s dependency needs AND affirmed her development into her own separate person, she’ll stay fiercely connected to us even as her focus shifts to peers, high school and the passions that make her soul sing. It’s critical, during the teen years, for parents to remain their children’s emotional and moral compass. Kids will begin to experiment with intimate relationships outside the family, but to do that successfully, they need to be able to rely on those intimate relationships at home remaining solid. We need to invite our children to rely on us emotionally until they’re emotionally ready to depend on themselves. Too often, in our culture, we let teenagers transfer their dependency outside the family, with disastrous results. Teens often give up a great deal of themselves in pursuit of the closeness they crave, only to crash against the hard reality that other teens aren’t developmentally able to function as a substitute family. It is NOT a sign of healthy emotional development for a teen to push parents away, or for parents to let him. That’s a sign of a damaged relationship. Attempting to parent when your relationship with your child is damaged is like pushing a boulder uphill. It’s never too late in your relationship with your child to do repair work, to move closer. But it’s a whole lot hard-
er to build the strong connection you want if the foundation isn’t there. Without understanding your teen’s inner life, it’s hard to understand his choices. I’m not saying that even with more connection you’ll like his choices, or that you’d make the same ones. That’s one of the benefits of being an adult -hopefully you have better judgment than your teen! His frontal cortex is still developing into his twenties, so he’s still building his impulse control and the ability to foresee the consequences of his actions. Good judgment, after all, develops from experience combined with reflection. Life will provide your teen with experience. Your job is to make sure he has the opportunity to reflect on his experience. But you can’t do that by rubbing his nose in his bad decisions. You have to ask good questions and let him come to his own conclusions. So start slow, with connection. Find ways to be with your teen daily, and longer times on weekends. Listen more than you talk. As Stephen Covey says, “Seek first to understand.” Over time, your connection with your teen will deepen, even while she’s spending lots of time with her friends and activities. In fact, don’t be surprised if she plops down on your bed some night just when you’re about to turn out the light to sleep, and wants to talk about what’s going on in her life. I know, you need your sleep -- but what a vote of confidence from a teen! Every teen needs at least one relationship like that as she journeys toward independence.
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I Carry You in My Heart Celebrating International Babywearing Week October 2-8, 2017 38
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Photography by Christina Birkinbine @boisechristina
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AuraLeaf
Beachfront Baby Sling
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NATIBABY
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Wrapsody
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Solly Baby
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Baby K’Tan
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Tekhni
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Soul Sling
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Oscha Slings
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DIDYMOS
Ergobaby
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How to Have a
Healthier Halloween Halloween is big on fun but, unfortunately, it’s also big on unhealthy traditions and waste. Many moms worry about the impact of this holiday on the health of their kids and the planet. And for good reason.
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Nearly $8 billion a year is spent on costumes, candy, décor and other accessories, often made from unhealthy, unsustainable materials, by people who may not be paid living wages or treated fairly. Most of the stuff – what isn’t
consumed – winds up in landfills. And frightening facts about high-fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, lead-laden accessories just fuel parent’s concerns. But our goal is to show families that it’s easy and affordable to keep the fun, while losing the unhealthy, un-Earth-friendly traditions. It’s not about telling parents how they should celebrate – it’s about inspiring them to make choices that make sense to their families, their budgets and their schedules.
And when many families make healthier and more sustainable choices for Halloween – taking even the smallest of steps – big impacts can be made for the short and long term.
It’s actually pretty simple to celebrate a Green Halloween Busy parents need greening to be simple. Whatever the choice may be (goodies, costumes, décor, etc.), adding an eco-friendly twist shouldn’t increase stress and chaos to an already hectic holiday season. But making healthy and green choices is, in fact, easier than it seems. The key is thinking (and acting) outside the conventional candy box. • Plan ahead. Halloween is a fairly last minute holiday, resulting in a lot of knee-jerk choices that aren’t good for kids or the planet. But if you make a habit of thinking ahead, you can find exactly what you want while saving time, energy and reducing stress. One idea is to create a reoccurring appointment in your calendar for each October 1st. Decide what you are going to give away this year and, if necessary, order it online or pick it up. If you have the bandwidth to coordinate with a few friends or co-workers, you can save money by buying online, splitting the quantities and dividing the shipping charges. If nontoxic temporary tattoos are a hit, make it easier on yourself by giving the same thing away next year. (Make your green goodies a tradition.) • Think outside the candy bowl. Who said goodies have to be bought at grocery stores? Most of us run out to the grocery store the night before Halloween to pick up that 10 pound bag of candy (or two),
but what if we realized that great, green goodies can be found elsewhere, too? What about picking up some seeds while you’re at the nursery? Or some cool glass beads? Playing cards with magic tricks, recipes and Halloween jokes can be found at bookstores and toy stores. • Include the kids. Going green is a family affair, so make it easier on yourself and include the kids by asking for their ideas. When they’re involved from the get-go, they’re more like to stay involved and to have positive attitudes. Let them help with crafts or natural Halloween decorating. • Relax. Going green isn’t an all or nothing deal and busy moms have a lot on their minds and plates. So start with simple green steps that will work for your family this year. You can always add more the next time around. Holidays should be about the fun, not about the stress. Even green choices, if stressful, won’t be sustainable over the long haul. Putting some green into your Halloween does not have to be difficult or costly. In the continuum of being green, all families can hop on board! You can start wherever you are. For example, if your family eats organic and shops mostly locally, you’ll find tons of ways you can make your holiday even healthier and more green with tips even seasoned healthconscious parents will find useful. If your family has yet to try healthy alternatives, this is a great year to start. Greening your Halloween means trying one new tradition–or trying them all. By going green for just one part of your Halloween, you’ll be making a difference you and your family can be proud of. 55
1 in 3 families struggles to afford cloth diapers.
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guided relaxation
with Mellisa Dormoy of Shambala Kids
“Pausing to Understand Anger ”
Close your eyes now and take in a nice deep breath now and as you slowly exhale, imagine erasing all your thoughts for a moment as if you were erasing words and pictures on the chalkboard. Slowly see all the thoughts and busyness of the mind fade away. Slowly, very slowly watch the eraser glide over the blackboard. Allow it to relax your mind and body. Our minds are very fascinating. They will hold onto the thoughts that we focus on the most. When we focus on a thought intensely, or think it over and over, it brings up certain feelings within us. These feelings can be of happiness or excitement, but they can also be thoughts that make us angry, afraid or sad. Feelings are never wrong or bad, and thoughts are simply things our minds think. Let’s take a moment to talk about anger. Everyone feels anger sometimes. Anger is not bad or wrong but we must be mindful of what we say or do when we are angry. We can be in total control of our emotions, while processing a logical response to the situation. This means we can feel angry about something, but we can still choose to think before we respond to the feeling. We can think about how our words might affect the person who hears them. We can imagine how our actions will affect another. It’s good practice to think about our anger before we react to it. We can respond in a way which expresses our anger by choosing our words carefully. We can explain why we are angry to those
who care about us and talk it out. Feeling anger doesn’t mean we need to use angry words. We can express our dissatisfaction while still using caring words.
Deep inside, we know that we wouldn’t be angry about something unless we cared about it. So next time you are feeling angry, notice how the anger feels, and then take a few deep breathes before you respond to that feeling of anger. When you respond, you will have thought about why you felt that way and you can learn to better understand and know yourself. Our feelings can be a gift to us when we take the time to understand why we feel the way we do. It’s rather magical, isn’t it? Life is just so full of wonderful experiences and situations that help us know ourselves better, even anger. We can always learn something and improve ourselves thanks to our experiences, which is the true gift! Life grows with us as we grow. It presents new things, lessons and situations to us each and every day so we can always try to be the best person we possibly can. Take in a nice, deep breath now and when you’re ready you can open your eyes. You’ve done an amazing job today learning about new ways to deal with feelings and emotions.
For more meditations and guided relaxation audios, visit Shambala Kids online.
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