Homecoming: Fall 2018

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HOMECOMING

GENERASIAN

FALL 2018


EXECUTIVE STAFF

Editors-in-Chief Rebecca Kao Jessie Yeung Editors-at-Large Morgan Kuin Jane Phan Deputy Editor-at-Large Kate Cabigao Secretary/PR Ladan Jaballas Treasurer Ryan Yi Art Editors Evonne Lao Cindy Qiang Blog Editor Grace Cheng Deputy Blog Editor May Do Media Editors Jenny Du Megan Liao Deputy Media Editor Kelly Sheng Layout Editor Megan Liao CONTRIBUTORS

Writers Caitlyn Chan Cindy Chen Mari Chen-Fiske Amy Chiang Mingyue (Selina) Deng Alexandra Fong Archita Kumar Chelsea Kwak Zoe Lee Chelsea Li Thomas Lynch Shashank Rao Artists Ladan Jaballas Evonne Lao Sarah Peng Cindy Qiang Joyce Woo Tina (Luopeiwen) Yi Youli Yao Jessica Zhu Layout Joseph Lee Marva Shi Callia Tong Alyanna De Vera Shiny Wu 2 Letter from the Editors

LETTER

FROM THE EDITORS Dear Readers, As an eventful fall semester winds down, many of us are preparing to return home—or establish new ones. Especially within the collegiate environment, the definition of home becomes fluid as we are constantly re-examining different aspects of our own identities and the world around us. This issue’s theme is homecoming. “Home” can be expressed in several ways: as a place, person, inner feeling, element of identity, experience, and anything in between. The act of homecoming, then, can indicate a return to a sense of the familiar, or a new arrival. Do these notions converge, swap or overlap as time passes and our circumstances naturally change? How might this sense of home extend beyond ourselves and our personal relationships? From evaluating DNA test results to examining cultural nuances of 7-Eleven stores, our writers have explored what the concept of returning home might look like not only for themselves, but for the Asian-American community at large. It has been our pleasure to work with such driven and thoughtful writers on this semester’s issue of the magazine. We hope you take away bits of home within these pages. Thank you for all your support and happy reading! Sincerely,

Jane Phan

Morgan Kuin

Kate Cabigao

CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE: generasian.blog READ THIS ISSUE ONLINE: issuu.com/generasian

Disclaimer:

This publication is published by students at New York University and NYU is not responsible for its contents.


CONTENTS 18

1

cover art

2

letter from the editors and staff/credits

H IS TORY A ND CULT UR E

3

contents

20

Jessica Zhu

king of the flourishing hill perfect peach stray dogs Sarah Peng

midnight thoughts far away “perfect” timing Caitlyn Chan

23

ancestry as identity?

26

simple pleasures in 7-eleven

ray yamanouchi’s tha chink-mart Thomas Lynch

28

sunlight through a familiar window

From East to West:

31

A RT S AND EN TERTAIN MEN T

4

unpacking bao

7

the way we are:

Cindy Chen

10

an examination of media’s global success

Mingyue (Selina) Deng

12

flower thoughts

14

at the whitney portrait twist

Joyce Woo

Shashank Rao

Amy Chiang

Zoe Lee

affirmative action:

the asian-american partition Mari Chen-Fiske

PER SONA L ES SAYS

34

finding nostos

36

scratching the surface:

38

home is a state of mind

glass

40

square, redefined, clear [方叔晴]

glass jar

43

media highlight

jessica zhu

44

blog highlight

envision

46

meet the eboard

Ladan Jaballas

15

dreamy redness 1 redness 2 Tina (Luopeiwen) Yi

16

Evonne Lao Cindy Qiang

17

dna testing in asian american communities

Jessica Zhu Youli Yao

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Chelsea Kwak my return to china Chelsea Li

Archita Kumar

Alexandra Fong

Table of Contents 3


U N PAC K I N G By: Cindy Chen Eggplant-shaped characters fill the pages of Domee Shi’s concept art. Their eyes are soft and their smiles gentle, their expressions alternating between dreamy and comical. Ink blotches fill in the shadows beneath them and strokes of watercolor shade their skin, creating a sense of transience, as if the color might seep out of their outlines at any moment. Shi’s art is endearing and humorous—in her recipe illustrations, a mother lovingly rolls a stroller down a road, and rather than a child, a bao is seated in its stead. Next to the mother, Shi’s self-portrait holds a half-eaten bao and flashes a cheeky thumbs-up to the reader. These elements appear in Pixar’s computer-animated short film, Bao (2018), which premiered alongside Incredibles 2 this past summer. Directed by Shi, a Chinese-Canadian storyboard artist, Bao is Pixar’s first female-directed short film. Described by Shi as a “Chinese version” of the little gingerbread man1, Bao focuses on a Chinese immigrant mother struggling with empty nest syndrome. Bao is a double entendre, translating to bāo (a dumpling) and bǎo (treasure, a common childhood endearment). The short begins when one of her steamed dumplings comes to life, before following the dumpling’s journey from fragile infant to independent adult. Throughout the montage, the mother frets over the dumpling, licking his wounds and filling him up with food, quite often literally. This is typical Pixar fare—retaining a family-friendly brand, Pixar appeals

Calligraphic title from Pixar short Bao.

for individual empathy, especially during periods of change and turbulence. This resonating success is seen in films such as Toy Story 3 and Finding Dory, which have connected with audiences that grew up their predecessors, and Incredibles 2 is its latest addition, breaking records at the box office—in North America alone, it is the ninth-highest grossing movie of alltime and highest grossing animated film of all-time.2 3 So why was Bao’s reception so polarizing? Its attachment to Incredibles 2 has given Bao more viewer exposure than any other Pixar short, and Bao’s green-lighting signals Pixar’s evolving storytelling interests. Indeed, Bao’s core themes remain quite consistent with the studio’s brand, and a short addressing family sacrifice and generational conflict seems like an ideal candidate to debut alongside Incredibles 2. Upon release, Bao was praised by the Western Asian population, and viewers’ tearful reactions surfaced on social media. They marveled over

its tiny details, expressing empathy towards the mother and identifying with the dumpling son. While there was also praise from non-Asian audiences, some online viewers ridiculed the short, dubbing it as too confusing, funny or disturbing, while others argued that Bao’s Chinese specificity was unnecessary.4 Bewilderment extended towards basic perception, as a surprising number mistook the mother for a young boy—this is a note on Asian invisibility in Hollywood, as a lack of complex representation has made it difficult for some to literally tell Asians apart. Some escalated it further, demonizing the short for promoting dysfunctional, non-PG values, many assigning what they deemed as negligent parenting to the Chinese culture.5 There were other variables— Incredibles 2 was a childhood landmark for many, due to its promotion of nuanced family and work-life dynamics, 4  Radulovic, Petrana. “The Polarized Reactions to Pixar’s ‘Bao’ Are Rooted in Culture.” Polygon. June 26, 2018.

2  “All Time Domestic Box Office Results.” Box 1  Ostani, Marj. “Domee Shi: First Asian Woman to

Office Mojo. November 15, 2018.

Direct Pixar’s Short, Talks of Creating ‘Bao’ and

5   kbarrillea. “Bao – DISTURBING SHORT IN FRONT OF THE INCREDIBLES 2 YOU MAY WANT

Her Love for Dumplings.” April Magazine. May 10,

3   “Animation Movies at the Box Office.” Box Office

TO MISS.” Homeschool Mom Movie Mavin. July

2018.

Mojo. November 15, 2018.

08, 2018.

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A still from the Pixar short Bao.

albeit in a traditionally American context. This likely influenced the expectations of non-Asian demographics, who were presumably unaware of Bao’s placement. From appearance alone, Bao seems like a divergence from mainstream family fare.

societal dismissal and misunderstanding, and encountering gaps in knowledge within their immediate families can heighten this frustration. Where cultural literacy is lacking, internal dissonance grows more acute.

“Bao, like many Asians— Americans or Canadians, rests upon a peculiar rung— it is indisputably North American, but does not look like it.”

“The story is told in gestures— no language reigns, whether it be English or Chinese.”

This is precisely why Bao is as important as it is. Bao, like many Asians —Americans or Canadians, rests upon a peculiar rung—it is indisputably North American, but does not look like it. While Bao’s themes are universal, they are especially salient for children of immigrants—what happens when you struggle to speak your loved ones’ language? Familial miscommunication is often rooted in cultural barriers, and conflict resolution becomes difficult. Immigrant children are already prone to

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In Bao, the story is told in gestures— no language reigns, whether it be English or Chinese. The silence feels profound— every shift in expression, every door slam, every wordless cry is deliberate. Despite its lack of dialogue, the short is affectionate, teeming with cultural signifiers, from lovingly crafted Chinese dishes to the vibrant streets of Chinatown. Shi is deeply influenced by Japanese animation, most notably Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbors the Yamadas, and similarly, the world of Bao balances between

stylized and realistic.6 Aesthetically, the short is built on round, malleable shapes, such as the comically dented dough-skin of the dumpling, the mother’s gentle, capable hands, and the stout curvature of the furniture. Disproportionately large fruits and vegetables make the characters seem smaller and friendlier, a nod to the chibi-esque proportions of Asian pop symbols. Amidst these elements lies an undercurrent of heaviness, and Shi introduces this dimension as a byproduct of living in an Asian immigrant family. In Bao, love is made tangible through characters’ actions, and in a typicallyAsian manner, they are largely centered around food (grocery shopping, sharing pork-buns, preparing meals). As gestures make up the bulk of the characters’ interactions, when the teenage dumpling grows sulky and ignores his mother’s attempts to feed him, their physical 6  Idelson, Karen. “Domee Shi’s Pixar Short ‘Bao’ Satisfies Artistic Appetite.” Animation Magazine. June 15, 2018.

Unpacking Bao 5


barriers grow prominent—in the short’s latter half, there is nearly always a wall between them. The mother’s anguish reaches its height during Bao’s contentious climax—to prevent the dumpling from leaving with his Caucasian girlfriend, the mother consumes him in a single bite. Shi explains that this is fueled from her own mother’s protectiveness—“ I wish I could put you back in my stomach so I knew exactly where you were at all times!”7 — and in the end, Shi states that “it was the logical conclusion between possessive person and delicious little dumpling.”8 The climax is purposefully shocking and articulates an unspoken wish—a yearning for a lack of separation between parent and child, to return to a time before these cultural differences took on a larger presence. At some point in their lives, I think many immigrant children have had a strained relationship with their parents. Sometimes, it marks a phase that colors a certain time period. Sometimes, it may last a lifetime. Bao reflects a little bit of us all—I watch it and see my mother, who recently sent my younger sister to college. I remember my mother’s sockin-slippers combination, the scent of freshly-braised pork, the lilting melody of classic Chinese pop songs. I see my grandparents, intently wiping down green-onion stalks and peeling onion skins, single-mindedly focused on providing a meal for me and my sister. I remember avoiding my mother’s eyes, ducking out the door to spend her money only to return home to a saran-wrapped bowl of hóng shāo ròu, uneaten, growing cold. I see my own cultural confusion and guilt, for not doing enough to overcome these language barriers, for growing angry when our shared languages failed, for my own hypocrisy. Sometimes, it feels 7  Dockterman, Eliana. “The Story Behind Bao, the Adorable Short Before The Incredibles 2.” Time. June 14, 2018. 8  Soto, Kaly. “The Creator of ‘Bao’ on That Twist: ‘Part of Me Wanted to Shock Audiences’.” The New York Times. June 27, 2018.

6 Arts and Entertainment

The final page of director Domee Shi’s bao recipe.

incredibly heavy—that the culmination of centuries of struggle comes down to me and my sister. But this is our reality—immigrant families are flawed, and in all its joy and sacrifice and hurt and bone-deep love, Bao succeeds at presenting a nuanced portrayal of the Asian immigrant diaspora. We have existed all along, and if anything, that should be enough for Bao’s story to be represented and accepted on the big screen.

Cindy Chen is a senior at NYU studying Media, Culture, and Communication. Born and raised in California’s Bay Area, she is often three hours behind schedule (read: late).


THE WAY

WE ARE RAY YAMANOUCHI’S THA CHINK–MART By: Thomas Lynch This summer, I had the opportunity to attend a reading of up-and-coming Asian-American playwright Ray Yamanouchi’s Tha Chink-Mart at the PlayPenn in Philadelphia. The play centers around the lives of five AsianAmerican high schoolers in a Long Island suburb as they navigate through their individual family lives and the struggles they collectively face as Asian Americans in a predominantly white high school. The protagonist, Duke, lives with his divorced dad and helps him run the town’s convenience store, which has been dubbed “The Chink-Mart” by the town; meanwhile, his mom works at a massage parlor elsewhere in Long Island. The plot mainly follows the relationships troubled, angry Duke has with his severe father and estranged mother, who is rumored by the white kids at his high school to be a prostitute at the parlor that she works at. Other characters are given their own arcs as well: The witty, no-nonsense [Korean-American Girl] struggles with her conservative Korean family and the discrimination and fetishization she receives at school; The reasonable if smug [Half-Asian Guy] find himself unaccepted by both the “popular” white kids and the Asian Americans; The awkward but loving [Japanese-American Girl] has abusive parents and suffers from depression; The relaxed [Indian-

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Playwright Ray Yamanouchi

American Guy]... Well, honestly, this character comes off as relatively happy, and more than anything spends the play just trying to manage everyone else. It’s important to establish every character because so much of Tha ChinkMart is rooted in its goal of authentic representation, and to this end, Tha Chink-Mart does a pretty good job. It’s respectful of the large differences within Asian diasporas and thoughtfully develops characters that are characters first(and charming ones at that!), while still being uniquely Asian American in a modern millennial way that doesn’t often show up on stage or screen. As a matter of fact, I think the play is one of the first works to truly capture the spirit of AsianAmerican youth today. For so many of us, the Asian-American identity is everchanging; and for so many of us, “AsianAmerican” is not always an identity tied to our experience with a non-Asian-

American or our Asian heritage. It’s an identity defined by its own internal ecosystem, the ways we form our own unique culture. We are the cool kids. We are the nerds, the jocks, the whateverthe-hell profiles you’d want to assume in the stereotypical American high school experience. We are what we are, and we are so amongst ourselves.

“I think this is the strongest point of Tha Chink-Mart: it succeeds in speaking to the young Asian-American generation that is not firstgen in its adulthood, but isn’t forcibly contextualized as the segment of a larger “American” existence. It is the way we are.”

The Way We Are: Ray Yamanouchi’s Tha Chink-Mart 7


I think this is the strongest point of Tha Chink-Mart: it succeeds in speaking to the young Asian-American generation that is not first-gen in its adulthood, but isn’t forcibly contextualized as the segment of a larger “American” existence. It is the way we are. However, much of my (and many other Asian Americans’) experience has been within Asian majority or Asian minority-majority suburbs or neighborhoods, where we and the ecosystems we create exist out of the context of a larger America. That is to say, we also became who we were in part because there was no outside force

8 Arts and Entertainment

that could assign us a contextual role in a larger, majority white society. This is not a critique so much as a matter of comparative representation and how the context of a work influences its resonance with a viewer. As someone who spent a large portion of his childhood in a dreary blue-collar white suburb with the same undertones of Otherness not so far off from that of Tha Chink-Mart, the play does resonate with me in how it balances its internal cultural ecosystem against a larger, simplistic divide created by a culture that sees it as other. While Tha Chink-Mart succeeds in starting a deeper discourse on the

struggles of modern Asian-American youth as represented in the media, I think there’s a lot of room both within the play and beyond for criticism and improvement. Many of the characters exist at a halfway point in their authenticity as representative characters. Perhaps in spite of their characters, their issues often seem to directly conflict with a character’s development and at times seem underdeveloped, especially in regards to [the Korean-American Girl] and [the Half Asian Guy]. The lack of characterization of female characters like [the Korean-American Girl] beyond their existence in relation to male characters


The cast/creative/ administrative team of Tha Chink-Mart for PlayPenn 2018. Photo courtesy of RE: theatre.

strikes me as slightly half-baked. Likewise, that [the Half-Asian] is more or less relegated into an identity-based role of mediator and outsider within the group feels like an underdeveloped point of the play. It’s not that [the Half-Asian] can’t or shouldn’t be a character focused on his biracial identity; it just feels a bit rushed to leave his character and agency as reflections of only that. I think there are a lot of other smaller things about this character (like his masculinity complex and what’s implied to be a somewhat complicated home life) which are raised but left unexplored in a way that prevents me from feeling the authentic sense of

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character development. Similarly, I don’t think that [the Korean-American Girl] can’t exist as a character who mainly explores parental abuse and Orientalizing undertones in relationships—as a matter of fact, it’s more important than ever in the context of the modern millennial dating world and its problems with Yellow Fever. However, the fact that it seems as though these characters are solely driven by these externalities rubs me the wrong way. It’s questionable, too, that these two characters date, and a bit misappropriative that much of their relationship problems are attributed to these racial externalities rather than [the Half-Asian’s] controlling, possibly even slightly abusive undertones. That being said, I also think that holding Tha Chink-Mart accountable for the backgrounds and nuances it chooses not to represent is potentially fallacious. It is a pioneering work in a field that has almost never represented modern Asian-American youth. That plays like Tha Chink-Mart have growing pains and points where they fall short should not dissuade you from seeing or appreciating them. However—and perhaps as a challenge—I’m curious to see how future representation of the Asian-American experience will evolve in that context: that we are ourselves in a broader selfgenerated, self-sufficient ecosystem.

share) by whitewashing the AsianAmerican experience. Nor does it shy away from its ugly side: internalized and externalized racism, domestic abuse, and toxic masculinity are cast under an honest light. It is itself, and that is the urgent message of representation we cry out. Thomas Lynch is a sophomore at CAS. He does not understand Lacan and enjoys complaining about being half-asian while also complaining about people who complain about being half-asian.

“Perhaps as a challenge— I’m curious to see how future representation of the Asian-American experience will evolve in that context: that we are ourselves in a broader self-generated, selfsufficient ecosystem.” Ultimately, I think that Tha ChinkMart succeeds in its goal: to create an authentic window into one part of the Asian-American experience. It doesn’t lean into the played-out tropes of firstgeneration culture imposed upon what are supposed to be second- or thirdgeneration Asian Americans. It doesn’t ignore the heritage we share (or don’t

The Way We Are: Ray Yamanouchi’s Tha Chink-Mart 9


AN EXAMINATION OF WESTERNIZATION IN EA By: Mingyue (Selina) Deng Since moving to the United States at ten years old, I thought I would assimilate to American culture more quickly than kids who arrived later. However, I still watch Chinese dramas and films most of the time, and American movies only occasionally; because of my culture and family background, I relate more to Chinese shows than to Hollywood or Netflix films, so I became more familiar with Chinese media and less with American media. However, I do not think this is a bad thing, as I find balance living life in the U.S. and experiencing another culture of home through Asian productions. As I watch these East Asian film and drama productions, exciting questions run through my mind. I want to know why only some Asian productions are well received by Western countries, while Western media is often more popular among Asian audiences. However, there are still ways for Asian entertainment to circulate into Western media, since the incorporation of Western ideologies through historic imperialism into Asian media significantly affects how countries in East and South Asia view, produce, and distribute their programs. After WWII, the United States controlled Japan’s diplomacy and culture; Japan became a democratic country and later the third largest economic power in the world. The Western ideology of democracy influenced not only Japan’s political culture, but also its future media productions. For example, almost all of these productions contained Western concepts, including skyscrapers, Westernized attire, and music genres such as rock’n’roll and pop.1 Western ideas also played a huge role in the

successful marketing of Japanese productions to the world: they changed the language. Japanese TV shows and music were available in Japanese to the Japanese public, but were translated when exported to other countries into their respective languages. Similarly, Korean productions also include Westernized ideologies and themes, which is shown through Westernized technology and

“Western ideas also played a huge role in the successful marketing of Japanese productions in the world: they changed the language.” clothing appearances in their television dramas. Additionally, these dramas are popular in many countries since they give fans a new way of fancying an ideal way of living, represented by these drama’s idols, or popular actors. And from these dramas, Korean culture has spread to other Asian countries, even to the the Western world.2 In South Asian media, India’s Bollywood ranks first with the most film titles produced, while Hollywood ranks third. According to a UNESCO report on total films produced in the world between 2012 to 2013, Bollywood accounts for 20 percent of the productions.3 However, this success is partly attributed to Western imperialism, which introduced Western themes of glamour and beauty that the Indian film industry continues to incorporate into their productions. This Westernization of Indian media helps

to market Bollywood films into other regions.4 However, China is very different. China is the second largest economic power in the world, but barely breaches the Western media landscape because of its severe censorship.5 The origins of China’s censorship dates back to its imperialistic era from the late 1880s to after WWII, when China was ravaged by warfare and riots by both Western countries and Japan. When the newly formed communist Chinese government overthrew the old one, new state censorship implementation against Western media and cultural imperialism influences such as white supremacy and modernization ideologies closed China off from the Western market. So, no matter

“So, no matter how strong the Chinese economy is, the censorship...prevent[s] China and its people from engaging with outside media, inhibiting the country’s advancement in creativity and programming.” how strong China’s economic power and influence is, censorship against Western influences prevent China and its people from engaging with outside media, thus inhibiting the country’s advancement in creativity, programming, and overall

2   Lee, Keehyeung. “Mapping Out the Cultural Politics of

4  “How Bollywood Is Fighting ‘irrational’ Censorship in

‘the Korean Wave’ in Contemporary South Korea.” East

India.” BBC News. July 18, 2016.

Asian Pop Culture, Jan. 2008, pp. 174–189. 5  Eckert, Paul. “Asian Communist States Get Lowest Press

1  Schiller, Herbert I. “Not Yet the Post-Imperialist Era.” Critical Studies in Mass Communication, vol. 8, no. 1, 1991,

3  Record Number of Films Produced.” UNESCO UIS, 24

Freedom Marks in Survey.” Radio Free Asia, Radio Free

pp. 13–28.

Nov. 2016.

Asia, 20 Apr. 2016.

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ASTERN MEDIA

commercial success.6 After analyzing Asian countries’ histories and media production

processes, it is clear that Asian media productions’ success is heavily reliant on how well they adopt and adapt to Western modernization. Like how I find home with Chinese movies even though its non-Western themes

alienate traditional Western audiences, Western-born Asians can find home

2016 report on worldwide freedom of the press. Photo courtesy of Reporters Without Borders.

and a sense of belonging through this mixture of Westernized and Asian media, a specific type of media that is familiar but also resonates with people because they can connect to their family culture. Mingyue Deng is a sophomore from Long Island majoring in Media, Culture, and Communications.

6  Economy, Elizabeth C. “The Great Firewall of China: Xi Jinping’s Internet Shutdown.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 29 June 2018.

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From East to West: An Examination of Media’s Global Success 11


FLOWER THOUGHTS

12 Arts and Entertainment


BY: JOYCE WOO Joyce Woo is a junior studying Neuroscience and Integrated Digital Media. Aside from sciences, she really enjoys photography and visual arts.

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Flower Thoughts 13


PORTRAIT TWIST AT THE WHITNEY By: Ladan Jaballas

Ladan Jaballas is a junior studying Urban Design/Architecture and Business.

14 Arts and Entertainment


BY: TINA (LUOPEIWEN) YI

REDNESS 1

Tina (Luopeiwen) Yi is a freshman studying Economics.

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Redness 1, Redness 2, Dreamer 15


GLASS

By: Cindy Qiang 16 Arts and Entertainment

GLASS JAR

By: Evonne Lao


JESSICA ZHU

By: Jessica Zhu

Jessica Zhu is a sophomore studying Game Design at Tisch with a minor in Digital Art and Design. She has always been making art, and loves to explore different themes and topics for each piece. Traditionally trained, she’s recently been trying to explore the digital medium and world of art, and aspires to one day make art for a big entertainment company. Check out more of her artwork on Instagram @jeyuzu :)

ENVISION By: Youli Yao

The political environment in America is filled with conflict and corruption from every side, as tensions rise and arguments become more and more heated. Ironically, many Asians, primarily the older population, lean more conservative. Surrounded by viewpoints that contradicted my personal beliefs, this piece is an outlet for me to express my frustrations, hopes, and own opinions regarding American policy. Youli Yao is a freshman studying business at Stern.

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Art by Jessica Zhu and Youli Yao 17


18 Arts and Entertainment

By: Sarah Peng

heroic figures, and sexuality. I’m mainly interested in creating a sense of story throughout my illustrations and using symbolism to link the characters portrayed to the mythological entities that they’re based on. I hope that these pieces can inspire curiosity, wonder, and maybe even some deeper understanding about Chinese culture.

PERFECT PEACH

This is essentially a hodgepodge of ideas that manifested itself as a set of illustrations. It focuses on how Chinese mythology and attitudes of ancient China influence the politics and culture of modern China. I explore this through motifs and characters in mythology and their connection/visibility in aspects of life in modern China. These include the depiction of certain animals, goddesses,


...a hodgepodge of ideas that manifested itself as a set of illustrations.. Sarah (Siyuan) Peng is a freshman studying Interactive Media Arts at Tisch. She can be found camping out in your local Hong Kong Supermarket.

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Art by Sarah Peng 19

KING OF THE FLOURISHING HILL

I hope that these pieces can inspire curiosity, wonder, and maybe even some deeper understanding about Chinese culture.


Caitlyn Chan

is a sophomore majoring in Economics. She grew up in Hong Kong and loves food, especially Asian cuisine. Her fondest memory as a

child is going over to her grandparents’ house, where she would scarf down homemade dumplings while attempting to inherit her grandfather’s Chinese calligraphy skills. Here are three poems that Caitlyn has revised from original classics, giving them a modern twist with the theme of missing home. Each poem is accompanied by Caitlyn’s calligraphy.

MIDNIGHT

THOUGHTS

The aim of the revised version is to incorporate elements of homesickness in the modern era, whereby the brightness of laptop screens replaces the brightness of the moon. The reference to losing a ‘like’ or ‘follower’ on social media also intends to lend irony to the piece, to mock the contrast of artificial preoccupations of the mind nowadays with the past. I attempt to maintain the rhyme in the poem but replace it with different characters, so I can still reflect the lyrical, song-like style of historical Chinese poems. However, the revised version still maintains the central theme of longing for home, which is a universal and timeless theme.

Original poem:

静夜思(李白) 床前明月光,疑是地上霜。 举头望明月,低头思故乡。 Your bed is lit by the bright moon, the ground is covered in white snow. You look up at the moon, then lower your head and reminisce of home.

Revised version:

床前屏幕光,肚子挂母汤。 举头少个赞,还是亲情香。 Your bed is lit by the computer screen, while your stomach longs for your mother’s soup. You find that you suddenly lost a ‘like’ (on social media), making you reminisce the sweetness of home.

20 History and Contemporary Culture


SO FAR AWAY This revised poem is a bit darker than the first as it deals with the struggles of settling down in a new place far from home. The feelings of loneliness and distance from others dominate you, and a lot of the time, you would start to question whether there’s something wrong with you. The contrast in the language is also meant to reflect the modern era, by replacing the traditional poetic form of writing with more colloquial modern-day Chinese language.

Original poem:

乡思(李觏) 人言落日是天涯,望极天涯不见家。 已恨碧山相阻隔,碧山还被暮云遮。 People say that wherever the sun sets is the edge of the world, but when I try hard to seek for my home at the edge of the world, I don’t see them. I resent the mountains for obscuring my view of home, and even they are covered by the heavy clouds.

Revised version:

人言落日就习惯,但路过陌人一眼都不看。 已恨伶仃和寂寞,难道一切都我错? People say that when the sun sets, you will be used to it, but people pass by without batting an eye. Frustrated from feelings of loneliness, is this all my own fault?

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Poems by Caitlyn Chan 21


“PERFECT” TIMING

Original poem:

人日思归 (薛道衡) 入春才七日,离家已二年。 人归落雁后,思发在花前。 It has only been seven days since the start of spring, yet I have been away from home for two years already. I meant to return home after the cranes fly north, but I am already thinking of home before the flowers bloom.

Revised version:

离家才七日,心挂已二年。 回家要春节后,上学在中秋前。 It has only been seven days since I have left home, yet I feel like I have left for two years already. I can only return home after the New Year, and must leave for school before the Mid-Autumn Festival.

22 History and Contemporary Culture


IDENTITY? By: Shashank Rao For Asian Americans, the concept of “home” manifests in many esoteric and abstract forms, like nostalgia for food or longing for a connection to one’s culture. Stories of not understanding where one fits in America abound in Asian-American literature, but few touch on the biological aspect of racial and ethnic identification. The history of Asians in America is filled with all sorts of pseudo-scientific arguments regarding which racial backgrounds qualify as acceptable for immigration. The concept of belonging and making a home in America is, whether we realize it or not, deeply tied to the intersection of our biological and sociocultural notions of race. With that in mind, the phenomenon of commercial DNA testing through providers such as 23&Me or AncestryDNA adds a new dimension to the conversation on race. These DNA tests offer a breakdown of one’s genetic code according to ethnicity as well as certain health conditions associated with one’s DNA. People usually order them because they’re interested in the details of their genetic past, and whether these codes correlate with their own personal knowledge thereof. That brings us to me. I had my DNA tested a little over five years ago, and the results were hardly surprising: 99.9% South Asian. I ordered my test from 23&Me, by far the most popular genetic test provider. How the 0.01% is “Broadly Western European” is completely beyond me, as I know for a fact that for at least

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DNA TESTING IN ASIAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITIES three generations, my ancestors are all Sankethis. This said a lot to me about our notions of racial identity in America, but more importantly that my cultural identity and personal knowledge isn’t erased by my DNA test and rather is a complement to it.

“My cultural identity and personal knowledge isn’t erased by my DNA test and rather is a complement to it.” Despite my personal interest in my ethnic background, I’ve found that not many Asian Americans that I know have had a DNA test done. There seems to be little interest in that kind of information, which might be because most Asian Americans (including myself) are fairly certain of their ancestry. The likelihood that most Asian Americans are of mixed ethnicity, generally speaking, seems rather small—that is, until you realize that categories like “Chinese”

and “Indian” aren’t really ethnicities. There are hundreds of ethnicities in India and China alone, and it’s unlikely that anyone in either of those countries is pure-blooded anything. However, I can’t get detailed results on what parts of India my DNA is from, partly due to the paucity of DNA samples and detailed reporting on the ethnicities of people in India. While the reasons above may indicate why there doesn’t seem to be many Asian Americans getting DNA tests, that doesn’t imply that biological ancestry is wholly unimportant to Asian communities. If Eugene Lee Yang’s (from the Try Guys, formerly of Buzzfeed) disbelieving reaction to discovering he’s not full-Korean is proof of anything, it would imply that ancestry is quite important to Asian people. But, as Eugene pointed out, a lot of Asians are probably so certain of their lineage they would never order a test to verify it. Even setting that aside, there are other factors to consider. For multiracial Asian Americans and adoptees, there is significant value

Ancestry as Identity? DNA Testing in Asian American Communities 23


Shashank’s DNA test results from 23&Me.

in knowing one’s genetic breakdown and ancestry. It may allow one to situate oneself in the broader sociocultural fabric of society on a semi-scientific basis, as well as generally search for their roots. American society in particular has historically had a strong obsession with pseudo-scientific notions of whiteness and race in general. This goes back to the days of the Chinese Exclusion Act, when propaganda argued the inferior character of Chinese people on the basis that their diet mostly consists of rice instead of meat!1 Landmark Supreme Court cases such as Takao Ozawa v. US and Bhagat Singh Thind v. US revolve around proving whiteness, and therefore entitlement to citizenship, through biology. Both cases resulted in denying citizenship 1  American Federation of Labor (1901). “Some Reasons for Chinese Exclusion. Meat vs. Rice.

on the basis that plaintiffs Ozawa and Thind could not be considered white. It should be obvious that biological ancestry doesn’t necessarily entitle us to anything but shouldn’t exclude us either. Genetic background should not qualify the worth of a person. For these reasons, ambiguities and controversies in DNA testing reveal problematic aspects of the process itself. An article from the Atlantic last year discussed an interesting question: When white nationalists seek verification for their supposed “pure” whiteness, and then don’t get it, what happens?2 They rationalize it. The mere thought of being something other than “white” is anathema. But looking at it in the bigger picture, “whiteness” shows thorny aspects of the pursuit of racial purity, especially as it pertains to minority groups. It’s tied up in the deeply fraught processes of proving whiteness as

American Manhood Against Asiatic Coolieism. Which Shall Survive?”. From the Bancroft Library,

2  Zhang, S. (2017, August 18). When White

the University of California-Berkeley.

Nationalists Get DNA Tests That Reveal African Ancestry.

24

History and Contemporary Culture

eligibility for immigration and being American. As a result, the concept of racial and ethnic inclusion in Asian American communities is a touchy and unsettled issue. Who is “Asian,” and do mixed-race people count? Do DNA tests serve as a way to verify your “Asian card,” so to speak? The recent news of Elizabeth Warren’s verification of her Native American ancestry illustrates some of the issues with genetics-based inclusion in indigenous, Asian-American, and other marginalized communities. Warren’s ancestor was Native American, not even a relative that she can point to on her family tree. By that token, I’m more Native American than Warren is, because my paternal haplogroup (Q-M346) is associated with pre-migration Siberian peoples who later formed modern Native American groups. This demonstrates the speciousness of genetic testing, and how genetic ancestry doesn’t necessarily define cultural belonging; belonging to an ethnicity is a combination of the circumstances of birth as well as the


emotional and personal connection to a culture and community.

“Genetic ancestry doesn’t necessarily define cultural belonging.” Race and ethnicity are, for better or worse, two very important ways of identifying oneself in social spaces. For those who feel ambiguous (which includes white people), knowing where you stand via genetic testing can help understand family history, where certain traits come from, and possibly locate family for adoptees. The crucial difference between Asian Americans and white nationalists seeking genetic verification of ethnocultural background is that the latter seem to believe their genetics entitle them to communal membership or are proof of superiority. For most Asian Americans, we seem to already know that race and ethnicity don’t determine our value as human beings. If you’re getting your DNA tested any time soon, these are things you should keep in mind: your cultural upbringing and biological ancestry are not mutually exclusive, and neither are really conclusive of anything. The conversation about ancestry and culture is complex and continually evolving, so we should be wary of essentialist notions of race and ethnicity. Believing that we are only what our ethnicity is or what our race supposedly is prevents us from finding our proverbial homes, which we should remember is really just where the heart is.

Shashank is a senior in Global Liberal Studies,

1901 pamphlet arguing for extension of the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882.

concentrating in Politics, Rights, and Development.

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Ancestry as Identity? DNA Testing in Asian American Communities 25


SIMPLE PLEASURES By: Amy Chiang

IN 7-ELEVEN

Happy led the way before us, trotting down the street as his old and worn tail wagged through the humid summer air. As we arrived at our destination, he chuffed a greeting to another neighborhood dog lounging in the intermittent comfort of air conditioning that fanned through the store’s automatic sliding doors. Eager for an escape from the heat, Happy continued on into 7-Eleven with my dad and I following dutifully behind him. Entering through those sweetly squeaking doors was something transcendent; the aggressive air conditioning mixed with the heady scent of fishy bonito broth never felt so right. The cashier recognized the dog before us, her light Taiwanese accent just audible as she greeted the three of us in Mandarin. As she began a conversation with my dad, I wandered around the store, picking out today’s breakfast—a couple of rice balls wrapped in seaweed, a bottle of milk tea, a bowl of broth-soaked tofu and mushrooms, a bag of chickenflavored chips, a sweet pineapple bun, a box of lychee popsicles—it was easy to get carried away. When I recall what I love about visiting Taipei, Taiwan, visiting 7-Eleven is always near the top of the list. Back in my dad’s home country of Taiwan, 7-Elevens are commonly-found safe havens from both the summer heat and winter storms. Not only do they consistently have friendly staff, but they also maintain a clean and inviting interior, well-lit and decorated with colorful and cute cartoon characters advertising different products. East Asian 7-Elevens provide a wide selection of products, ranging from full hot meals to bath products to stationery. A few locations in Singapore carry mashed potatoes and gravy vending machines to satisfy all your carbohydrate-filled dreams, while a number of Cantonese stores sell duck tongue for those who prefer something a bit more adventurous. Some stores in Taiwan even offer services

26 History and Contemporary Culture

such as dry cleaning, while some in Hong Kong accept payments for utility bills and public housing rent. As someone who has had the privilege of experiencing convenience stores in East Asia, I can guarantee that they are on a completely different level from their American counterparts. While 7-Elevens can be found every few blocks throughout New York, they are considerably grimier and carry a limited variety of products. For example, the selection of hot meals in an American 7-Eleven would consist of garishly bright chicken wings displayed beside a tray of bloated sausages rotating menacingly on their heated rods. In general, I lack any inclination to ever visit any 7-Eleven here in New York or any other city. I may have been born and raised in California, but there was always something about the stores in Taiwan that felt like coming home.

So why exactly are these Asian convenience stores so much better? The answer to this question may be found in the difference between East Asian and American work cultures. America is often regarded as a fast-paced country; it is constantly pushing for progress by a population that brandishes independence at the forefront of its values. New York is known for its ambitious, thick-skinned residents who never apologize, always honk, and walk at a speed that would be considered running in any other place. In East Asian countries such as Taiwan, people tend to take a different approach to life and business. A researcher from the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School of Business interviewed Taiwanese businessman Wei Loon1, who “observed that America is more professional and merit-based, while

“I may have been born and raised in California, but there was always something about the stores in Taiwan that felt like coming home.”

Differences Create Behavioral Nuances.” (2014).

1  Chon, Alicia. “Asia and America: How Cultural Social Impact Research Experience (SIRE). 26.


A 7-Eleven storefront on the streets of Taiwan.

Inside

a

7-Eleven

in

Taiwan, a wide array of food options available.

Asia is very relationship-centric.” While businessmen such as Wei Loon spent much of their time developing trust and relationships with peers, the researcher reported that Americans preferred to keep their personal and work lives separate. From an Asian perspective, Americans seem much more direct, preferring to get to the point instead of spending time on pleasantries. As Americans love to say, time is money, and they refuse to waste any of it. This cultural difference could be at the root of the disparity between East Asian and American 7-Elevens. While Asian stores put in the effort to provide seating for their customers and present a more welcoming facility for their customers overall, American stores are simply a place where people can grab what they need as efficiently as possible. The 7-Elevens scattered around New York are the grimy product of America’s anxious culture—serving people who push through crowds to spend hours upon

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“In our haste to accomplish and to succeed, we can bury ourselves in work and forget to enjoy simple pleasures.” hours at work. In our haste to accomplish and to succeed, we can bury ourselves in work and forget to enjoy simple pleasures. In the same way, stores often lack personality and familiarity, choosing to be practical above all, and neglecting the small things that could add warmth to our fast-paced lives. However, I in no way mean to imply that one culture is superior over another—rather, I think that there

is something to be learned from cultural differences, even those found through something as ordinary as convenience stores. So to all the anxious Americans out there, stop and smell the roses. (Or if you’re in New York, stop and smell the pollution.) Amy Chiang is a sophomore in Liberal Studies and comes from the Bay Area, California.

Simple Pleasures in 7-Eleven 27


SUNLIGHT

THROUGH A FAMILIAR WINDOW By: Zoe Lee Hou Yi woke as the sun began its ascent, slowly brushing a pale blue across the sky. He stared up at the window for a while, watching as clouds floated in front of the faded sun. Last night, the landlord had given Hou Yi the penthouse after Hou Yi had fixed the air-conditioning system, which had sputtered to a stop in the middle of a heat wave. Mopping his brow, the landlord had sheepishly appeared at Hou Yi and Chang’e’s little studio apartment doorstep at five in the morning, begging Hou Yi to help—after all, the landlord had reasoned, Hou Yi was an engineering student. Hou Yi didn’t bother to tell the landlord that he had switched to environmental studies two years before. Luckily, when he was younger Hou Yi had tagged along with his father when his father had made rounds in apartment buildings, so he knew the basics. Chang’e had accompanied him for moral support, dropping off a container of dumplings for the poor maintenance kid that had been on duty all night. So had Feng Meng—the neighbor who complained during the entire journey into the basement and as Hou Yi tried to decipher the machine. Feng Meng was waiting for the elevator when Hou Yi came out of the landlord’s office. He looked at Hou Yi suspiciously, studying his dazed expression, although Hou Yi took no notice. He was too busy trying to read the contract he had just received. Chang’e had furiously told him to accept the offer when Hou Yi returned to their apartment. “Yeah, but I’m not taking it,” Hou Yi said when he first told her, giving a small smile. “What am I going to do without my roomie?”

28 History and Contemporary Culture

“You dumbass!” She punched him in the arm. “Ow!” He raised an arm, to ward off another attack, dropping his spoonful peanut butter. “Stop it!” Chang’e whacked his other arm for good measure. “Hou Yi, the penthouse is awesome! Don’t turn it down just because the landlord hates me. And you know, you totally have the legal right to sign it and then move me in. I’ll pay half of the rent anyway. It’s also super illegal to refuse rent on the basis of sex or race and I’ve been paying on time every month, but whatever. That’s a different story.” Hou Yi sheepishly picked up his spoon and tossed it in the sink. “You’re right.” Chang’e spotted the contract form that Hou Yi had tried to hide behind a roll of Bounty paper towels and snatched it, scanning over the words. “Mm.” She glanced at the clock. “Don’t you have your quantitative studies class in fifteen minutes?” “Ah, shoot,” Hou Yi groaned, sprinting out of the kitchen to throw notes and pens in his backpack. “See you later!” He scrambled out the door, grabbing his keys from the keyholder that hung on the wall, and yelled right before the door slammed shut, “I’ll sign it tomorrow!” Some events had transpired when he was gone that involved Feng Meng, Chang’e, and Chang’e’s signature on the sheet, but now the contract was official, penned in loopy black ink. So Hou Yi laid on his bed, sleepily staring out the window, moments after the sun rose. The clockwork rumble of the subway that ran under their building kept him awake in his dazed state. There wouldn’t be any rumblings in the

penthouse. There wouldn’t be—Hou Yi’s mind snapped awake. There wouldn’t be rumblings, or the sound of the church bells that rang on the fifty-ninth minute instead of the hour, or the sirens of police as they raced down the street. There wouldn’t be the loud music that echoed from the bar down the street, or the smell of food from the street festival on summer Saturdays. He rolled over, and caught sight of Chang’e, who was sprawled out on her bed. Her hair was a tangled mess and half of her blankets were strewn on the ground. Her laptop was balanced precariously on a stack of books next to her bed, a product of her late night writing. Hou Yi had initially hated her furious typing, but he had gradually gotten used to it. In the penthouse, he would have to get used to silence all over again, when they had separate rooms. Their apartment was cramped, and Hou Yi would often find Chang’e’s


clothing, papers, and pens among his own clutter of things. Her small rug always found a way to move towards his side. Hou Yi closed his eyes, imagining the brown rust that, despite vigorous scrubbing, crawled over the sides of the faucet in the bathroom and the kitchen. The milk had spilled over numerous times in the fridge, the shelves on the inside door often filled with bottles of other drinks and knickknacks. Hou Yi had forgotten he had bread in one of the cupboards until a stink had permeated the entire apartment and he had gone on a scavenger hunt for the source. Their apartment was tiny, crowded, and a little dirty from forgetting to follow the cleaning wheel they had set up when Chang’e first moved in. For three years, they had made this place their own, their personalities spilling over and merging into the way they kept and decorated their apartment. They had midnight

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conversations, weekend laughter, comforting silence; they had studied and grown and lived, for the first time, as adults. And yesterday, they had signed away their home.

“Nostalgia crept into his heart, and suddenly he wanted to rip up the contract and stay in his comfortable little bubble forever.” A deep sort of ache settled into Hou Yi. Nostalgia crept into his heart, and suddenly he wanted to rip up the contract and stay in his comfortable little bubble forever. Sure, the penthouse was nice, but how much better was it really? Hou Yi glanced at Chang’e again, sprawled out, and he could hear her voice in his mind, scolding him: the penthouse has ceiling to floor windows, a magnificent view,

and actually enough space for two people; what more can two struggling college students want! And still Hou Yi was reluctant. He finally did get up, but he puttered around the kitchen for a long time, made a bowl of cereal and ate it rather slowly, despite his hatred of soggy cereal. He cleaned his bowl and spoon, and then cleaned the rest of the dirty dishes from the previous night. Chang’e woke and noticed his irregular cleaning habits. “What’s wrong?” Hou Yi shrugged. “New habits?” “For the penthouse!” Chang’e lit up and hopped over into the kitchen. “I’m so excited! We can redecorate after we move everything from here in. We can set new routines like what you’re doing right now, we can meet our new, hopefully normal, neighbors, we can continue our Apartment 2B traditions, we can…”

Sunlight Through a Familiar Window 29


“Of course the penthouse would have to take some getting used to, but of course it’ll also become their new familiar.” Hou Yi stared at her in disbelief. Her voice became muffled as Hou Yi’s thoughts rang in his head. In thirty seconds flat, Chang’e had rearranged his nostalgia in his mind into… could it be excitement? He felt a little stupid now. Of course they would be able to continue their conversations, laughter, and silence—of course the penthouse would have to take some getting used to, but of course it’ll also become their new familiar. Their new comfort. Their new home. Chang’e was waiting for him, eyes expectant. He turned off the tap. “Let’s get the

30 History and Contemporary Culture

purple pillows we’ve been talking about.” Chang’e’s smile was pure sunlight.

Zoe is a sophomore who was born in New York but moved to Hong Kong at age nine.


AFFIRMATIVE ACTION: THE ASIAN-AMERICAN PARTITION By: Mari Chen-Fiske

Photo courtesy of The Harvard Crimson.

With the current Harvard lawsuit underway in Cambridge, Massachusetts, affirmative action has become a highly debated topic. The Asian-American community is split—some feel as though affirmative action should remain, while others feel that the policy is unfair because it restricts the number of talented and accomplished applicants a university accepts based on many factors including ethnicity and socioeconomic status. The case, however, is about whether or not Harvard discriminates against Asian Americans. Affirmative action is a policy that was originally created by President John F. Kennedy in 1961 to combat discrimination in the workplace and throughout the hiring READ OUR BLOG

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process: it aims to give opportunities to students from underrepresented and disadvantaged backgrounds.1 While schools are prohibited from creating a quota of specific ethnic demographics, they still use race as a determining factor in college admissions decisions.

Statistically, Asian-American applicants are accepted at a lower rate despite having higher test scores and GPAs. 1  Hartocollis, Anemona, and Stephanie Saul. “Affirmative Action Battle Has a New Focus: Asian-Americans.” The New York Times. August 03, 2017.

Does Harvard discriminate against Asian Americans? This is what Judge Allison D. Burroughs is trying to conclude in this trial. Statistically, Asian-American applicants are accepted at a lower rate despite having higher test scores and GPAs. This information emerged from documents that were presented during the current lawsuit against Harvard. Court documents also found that an internal investigation was conducted by Harvard in 2013 to examine its admissions policies. The investigation found a bias against Asian-American applicants, but no findings were made public. The New York Times interviewed Duke University economist Peter Arcidiacono, who explained that “alumni interviewers

Affirmative Action: The Asian-American Partition 31


give Asian-Americans personal ratings comparable to those of whites. But the admissions office gives them the worst scores of any racial group, often without meeting them.”2 Arcidiacono’s research and statistics have been used widely by the Students for Fair Admissions (SFFA)—the group currently suing Harvard University—to support their argument that admissions officers score Asian-American applicants much lower than applicants of other ethnicities based on personal rating. This elusive and often complex personal rating consists of an applicant’s personal essay, as well as applicants who display “unusually appealing personal qualities [including] effervescence, charity, maturity and strength of character.”3 These evaluations of personal traits are inherently subjective, which is why the SFFA argues that admissions officers may have a bias against Asian-American applicants and tend to view them as similar to each other. Harvard has argued that Arcidiacono left out other important data about the applicant evaluation process in order to craft a compelling argument against the school. College students have a unique view of this case because they are experiencing college life as this lawsuit is on trial. They no longer have a high school senior perspective of college admissions where every rejection feels like a crushing personal blow. They are also not yet parents and older adults far removed from college life and focused on the success of their children. Ajay, an Indian-American freshman in NYU’s Tandon School of Engineering, spoke about his awareness of how his ethnicity could affect, or even hinder, his admissions success, “It’s something that no Asian kid today ignores. It’s drilled into us by parents and tutors and SAT camp teachers that we have to be near perfect to even stand a chance.” Like Ajay, many students are aware of the model minority stereotype, which 2  Hartocollis, Anemona. “Harvard Rated AsianAmerican Applicants Lower on Personality Traits, Suit Says.” The New York Times. June 15, 2018. 3  Hartocollis,

Anemona.

“Is

an

Extroverted

Applicant Better Suited for Harvard Than an Introvert?” The New York Times. October 26, 2018.

32 History and Contemporary Culture

Photo courtesy of The Harvard Gazette.

“It’s something that no Asian kid today ignores. It’s drilled into us by parents and tutors and SAT camp teachers that we have to be near perfect to even stand a chance.” classically depicts a quiet, hard working Asian-American student who excels in math and science. This model minority stereotype is dangerous because it reduces Asian Americans to one-dimensional characters and allows Americans to ignore continued racism and discrimination. There is a widespread feeling of pressure to both have near perfect grades and of being unique in order to be competitive within the college admissions process. Alexandra, a Chinese-American junior in Steinhardt, agrees with this feeling, “I felt very dime-a-dozen and worried that my experiences would be assessed relative to the experiences of my Asian-American peers.” Along with the struggle to stand out and “break from the mold,” AsianAmerican students worry that potential bias from admissions officers leads Asian-American applicants to be viewed as a homogenous group of people, thus diminishing their chances of acceptance. Throughout the weeks of midOctober, Harvard’s president William

Fitzsimmons was questioned about Harvard’s alleged discrimination. The New Yorker reports that Fitzsimmons testified about Harvard’s sending of letters to Sparse County high school students who have P.S.A.T scores of at least 1310. These letters encourage students to apply to Harvard. They reflect Harvard’s attempt to reach students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds who do not have the same resources available to them in high school compared to other more privileged students. However, The New Yorker also reports that “the only Sparse County students with such scores who do not get the letter are Asians; to receive it, an Asian male must score at least 1380.”4 It remains unclear whether this is racial bias, or if there are more components to who qualifies to receive these letters than meets the eye.

“Abolishing affirmative action in favor of race-blind admissions would not only hurt non-white applicants, but also students from less privileged backgrounds.” 4  Gersen, Jeannie Suk. “At Trial, Harvard’s Asian Problem and a Preference for White Students from “Sparse Country”.” The New Yorker. October 25, 2018.


Photo courtesy of Harvard University.

Despite this, most of the college students I spoke to believe that affirmative action has a very important purpose in college admissions—abolishing affirmative action in favor of race-blind admissions would not only hurt nonwhite applicants, but also students from less privileged backgrounds. David, a Chinese-American student at Columbia University studying computer science told me about what he learned from his peers regarding the importance of affirmative action thus far: “My upper middle class black friend from suburban New Jersey [who is] somehow acing his classes doesn’t need the help getting in. My Dominican neighbor from the Bronx three rooms down who can barely afford to pay for anything really does. I think the goal of affirmative action was to bring about diversity of all kinds, not just racial.” As David notes, affirmative action is not only in place to help underrepresented minorities—it also seeks to give opportunities to students from less privileged socioeconomic backgrounds and other historically disadvantaged groups. It should be noted that SFFA is led by conservative activist Edward Blum. Because he is striving to abolish affirmative action, many have accused him of using Asian Americans as a wedge READ OUR BLOG

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between other minorities. Essentially, they have accused Blum of portraying Asian Americans as the sole victims of racism, when in reality, there are many disadvantaged minority groups that continue to suffer from the same effects of racism. If Asian Americans are focused on fighting against other minority groups, everyone becomes weaker as a result.5 Therefore, abolishing affirmative action is tricky because race-blind admissions could overlook students from disadvantaged backgrounds and give fewer opportunities to them. Both SFFA and Harvard have said that they will appeal Judge Burroughs’ final decision if they lose. This will continue to be an important case in the near future—after all, educational reformer Horace Mann claimed that education, “beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great equalizer.” So, while affirmative action and the current college admissions evaluation system do have flaws, abolishing affirmative action will only hurt those it currently helps the most—racial minority groups and socioeconomically disadvantaged students. After being at NYU, Ajay has been able to see what affirmative action

can do, and thinks that “to strike down one race to benefit another seems wildly unfair [...] It’s hard to picture a diverse campus without it.” Mari is a visiting student from Boston. She plans on studying Sociology.

5 “Not Your Wedge.” Asian Americans Advancing Justice - LA. July 30, 2018.

Affirmative Action: The Asian-American Partition 33


FINDING NOSTOS By: Chelsea Kwak

Home, sweet home. “Nostos in Greek means ‘coming home.’ What is a word that we use that comes from nostos?” Without hesitation, I blurted out, “Nostalgia.” My Cultural Foundations professor smiled knowingly at me before turning to the class and saying, “It’s your first week of college and I’m sure all of you are experiencing a nostalgia of some sort. What are you all feeling nostalgic for?” After a few murmurs, we all agreed on “home.” This universal longing for home is not only present in my NYU class, but also in Homer’s ancient texts. The Odyssey unravels the arduous journey of war hero Odysseus as he struggles to return to Ithaca, his home and birthplace. For ten years, he slays six-headed monsters, escapes malevolent goddesses that try to turn him into a pig, travels through the Land of the Dead, and is held captive

34 Personal Essays

on Calypso’s island—all for the sake of returning home to his wife and son. Odysseus’ determination to return home embodies the Greek concept of “nostos,” which literally translates to “homecoming.” The Greeks valued a person’s urge to return home or to their “beginning,” as demonstrated through Homer exploring the theme of “nostos” in the Iliad, in which Achilles must decide if he wants his “kleos”—glory—or “nostos.” If he chooses “kleos” Achilles will die, but earn fame as a war hero. If he chooses “nostos,” Achilles may return home and stay safe, but receive no honor. While Odysseus has no doubt as to what he desires, Achilles struggles to decide if he really wants his “nostos.” During my first week at NYU, a fellow student asked me, “Where are you from?” I had just given my usual response: that I was born in Korea, but grew up in Maryland. He asked if I planned to return “home” after I graduate from college.

Art by Evonne Lao.

Without much thought, I asked, “What do you mean, home?” My acquaintance looked at me, wondering why I was confused about something that seemed so obvious to them and said, “Korea.” I did not take offense to his words despite the fact that I have lived half of my life in the U.S., because I am a proud Korean citizen and an international student at NYU. However, it was the fact that my classmate had defined my “home” as Seoul, Korea that I found interesting. His idea of “nostos” seemed to parallel the Greeks’ view of “nostos,” which simply saw home as your birthplace. But, as I told him that I wasn’t sure yet and walked away, I wondered if “home” was truly that simple. When I look back at my life, I have just as many beautiful memories walking along Rock Creek Park in the summer and sledding down the hills of our local church with the kids in my neighborhood as I do of biking with my friends along


the Han River and watching the beautiful Seoul nightscape. While I know that I will never be able to live without Korean food, I also love putting Old Bay seasoning on my crabs like most Marylanders.

“I have just as many beautiful memories walking along Rock Creek Park in the summer...as I do of biking with my friends along the Han River.” When I was little, I would distinguish between Seoul and Maryland by calling them my “Korean home” and my “American home” so my friends from both countries would always know what I was referring to when I would talk about my “other home.” The question of how I defined my “home” never occurred to me because when I was in Seoul, I would miss Kensington, and when I was in Kensington, I would miss Seoul. It was not until I said “goodbye” to both of these places that I truly realized that I was lucky enough to call such wonderful places my home. Although leaving two places instead of just one— crying in the airport of Seoul and on my car ride to New York from Maryland—was extremely painful, I was able to finally establish my definition of “home” once I was in neither of the two places for the first time in my life.

Chelsea as a child in Seoul, Korea.

“It was not until I said “goodbye” to both of these places that I truly realized that I was lucky enough to call such wonderful places my home.” My home is where my memories are—it is where I can walk around knowing that I’ve both laughed and cried my heart out. For me, my “home” isn’t limited to where I was born; my “nostos” isn’t limited to me returning to Korea. When my Cultural Foundations professor asked me what I felt nostalgic for and when my fellow classmate asked me if I planned to return home, I immediately thought of both Seoul and Kensington. The two places are dear to my heart and I have a longing for them both. Like Achilles, I also have a decision

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Chelsea as a child in Seoul, Korea.

to make about my “nostos” after graduating college. I can go back to Korea, to my “beginning” like Odysseus, but I can also go back to Kensington. I could even start anew and establish a new “nostos” for myself. This will not be an easy decision to make. Both of my parents and the majority of my family are in Korea, but most of my friends are in the U.S. As someone who loves to meet new people from different walks of life, living in the U.S. allows me to do just that. And yet, Korean food in the U.S., even if it is from K-Town, will never taste as good as

when I have it in Korea. But, for now, perhaps I have already achieved my nostos: for Thanksgiving, I’m going home to Kensington, Maryland. For winter break, I’m going home to Seoul, Korea. For now, I’m beginning to feel at home right here at NYU. Chelsea Kwak is a first year student at NYU who loves watching action movies and going to museums.

Finding Nostos 35


THE SURFACE: MY RETURN TO CHINA By: Chelsea Li I pressed my nose against the window as the airplane descended through a thick cloud of smog, eager to catch my first glimpse of the land below. A stomach-turning landing and an hourlong car ride later, I stepped out of a worn-down taxi that smelled strongly of incense. A wave of smoggy air, punctuated with the sharp bite of gasoline and the buzz of mosquitoes, hit me as I set foot in Tianjin, China: my mother’s gu xiang, or home. So, there I was, back in the motherland for the first time in four years. The last time I was there, I was a naive middle school graduate, excited to start high school. Now I am eighteen years old, filled with a little more knowledge, stress, and caffeine. I have changed, and so has China. The first half of my two-week stay was spent relaxing at my grandparents’ house, a small apartment near the Tianjin University of Science and Technology. My sister and I jogged around the university’s fake grass field every morning, shopped at a nearby multiplex mall, picked up groceries at outdoor produce markets, and ate. A lot. We explored all the Chinese snacks and delicacies that Tianjin’s supermarkets and street booths had to offer: from steaming dim sum to oily pancakes to shan zha, or hawthorne, ice cream. Some things about this bustling port city never changed—the screeching cicadas every night, loud voices speaking the colorful Tianjin dialect, and the bright blue taxis. But I could see the new changes too: people whipping out their phones to open WeChat or Alipay to make online transactions, brand new public bicycles leaning haphazardly against trees on

36 Personal Essays

the sidewalks, and subway construction along a major road. These changes led me to realize that I am an outsider. One day, I met my younger cousin, who I hadn’t seen in four years. In those four years, he had grown from the little kid who liked to jokingly show off his English and talked excitedly about video games to a reserved, polite teenager with final exams in a week. In China, students were placed into different high schools based on their exam scores, so studying took up most of his time. As I was sitting next to him at lunch with my relatives, I suddenly realized how little idea I had of how Chinese teenagers conversed and what slang they used. Our conversation was limited to basic getto-know-you questions: “What do you like to do outside of school?” “How is your studying going?” “How’s America?” We had polite conversations and took pictures, but four years built thick language and cultural barriers between us, preventing us from really getting to know each other. There was far too much to catch up on in the short time we had together.

“We had polite conversations and took pictures, but four years built thick language and cultural barriers between us, preventing us from really getting to know each other.” In the second week, we headed to central China or more specifically, Xi’an, capital of Shaanxi Province. Xi’an embodied a fascinating duality: our hotel was in the modern, developed center of the city, a stark contrast to the historical sites enveloped with dust and the smell of

street vendors. As my mother was wildly interested in ancient Chinese history, we made the journey from our hotel each day to visit the historical attractions she deemed most important. With every stop, I felt my interest draining, images of the comfortable hotel bed constantly popping up in my mind as we toured one site after another. I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of ancient artifacts, from scriptures carved on huge slabs of stone to pottery and jewelry made for royal families. As our tour guide carefully explained every notable piece of history, I caught a few facts and stories here and there, but could not fully process the flood of information. As my trip drew to an end, mixed feelings bubbled up inside me. Although


Art by Evonne Lao.

I felt right at home in my grandparents’ apartment in Tianjin, I realized how much of China I was truly missing out on. I have always felt proud of my family’s culture, but returning to my parents’ home country showed me I had only scratched the surface of Chinese culture and history. I am Chinese American, and no matter how many years of Chinese school I attended or how much my parents spoke to me in my mother tongue, I carried a distinct Americanness with me that became all too noticeable in China. However, I am proud of being Chinese American; because my parents have continuously reminded me of my heritage, I can experience two vastly different countries and learn from the values of both cultures. Although there is

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still a lot of Chinese culture I do not know, it is important to never stop learning. Ultimately, I am glad my parents imbued in me a sense of appreciation for Chinese language and culture. Looking back, it has served me well this summer.

Chelsea Li is a freshman majoring in Media, Culture, and Communications. She is

Chinese

American, and grew up in California’s Bay Area. She loves boba, dancing, and YouTube, and is very excited to be writing for Generasian this year!

“No matter how many years of Chinese school I attended or how much my parents spoke to me in my mother tongue, I carried a distinct Americanness with me that became all too noticeable in China.”

Scratching the Surface: My Return to China 37


IS A

STATE OF By: Archita Kumar Back home in India, whether it was a family member’s birthday a festival, or a celebration of any kind, all my uncles, aunts, and cousins would get together at my great-grandmother’s house. While my uncle and I brought food from a nearby restaurant named Evergreen, my mom would get the cake and my dad’s aunts would cook amazing food—some of my favorite dishes that I now crave every time I think about them. Anybody looking in from the street would see the living room full of chatter, laughter, games, and even movies—a familiar scene in many homes across the country. So, naturally, it is not very surprising that research studies, such as those by Dutch psychologist Geert Hofstede, show India and other Asian countries to be collectivist in nature, placing importance in familial and communal values. The GLOBE Project, an international research foundation, also observed Indians to highly value and practice

38 Personal Essays

Art by Ladan Jaballas.

institutional collectivism, evident in the country’s emphasis on social norms and community. I have always appreciated these familial Indian values, yet living away from my extended family since the age of ten has also distanced me from these norms. Over time, I began struggling to call Indian culture my own because I couldn’t relate to my friends and my opinions often differed from those of my relatives. While I didn’t want to disrespect my grandparents or upset my classmates by opposing their beliefs, I also couldn’t bring myself to let go of my own.

“While I didn’t want to disrespect my grandparents or upset my classmates by opposing their beliefs, I also couldn’t bring myself to let go of my own.”

Parenting differences also distanced me from my peers. My classmates in Mumbai often complained of their controlling and overprotective parents; my friends would watch Facebook and Buzzfeed videos highlighting overcontrolling Indian parents, laughing and agreeing with the stereotypes. It’s not simply exaggerated in media either: in a research study done by HSBC, when Indian parents were asked to rank the three most important goals they wanted their children to achieve, 51% chose successful careers, while only 49% and 33% chose happiness and a healthy lifestyle.1 According to the study, the most popular career options were engineering, medicine, law, and finance. Honestly, I am not surprised—several of my friends are still studying a major only because their parents expect them to. My parents are different; they never 1   Aiyer, Sourajit. Eurasia Review, June 2017.


Archita (center) with her grandmother

(L)

and

mom (R).

made an incorrect assumption about her background, especially when it involved her intercultural parents.

“Home doesn’t have to refer to a native country or physical place—rather, it is a state of mind. Home is being at peace with my own emotions and beliefs.”

pressured me to have straight As, but instead encouraged me to learn to play the piano and get licensed for scuba diving. However, this also meant I couldn’t relate to my classmates and their jokes. When I once admitted to a friend that my parents were open to me going to parties and having a romantic relationship, she asked me, “Are you sure that your parents are real?” After that encounter, I began to lie about my parents’ level of strictness to fit in because I really wanted to believe that India was my home and that I belonged there. I would even stay silent when my classmates made sexist and homophobic

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jokes—though I tried not to associate with such people, I also didn’t object or try to stop them in any way. The next academic year, an IndianJapanese student joined our school. Students made fun of her accent, but when I tried to talk to her about it to make her feel more comfortable, she said that it didn’t matter to her. She understood that coming to India and adapting to a new culture would not be easy, but refused to change her way of thinking or beliefs just to fit in. Even if it raised some eyebrows, she wasn’t afraid to speak out or tell someone when they

This student helped me realize that I could simply be comfortable enough in my own beliefs even if people raised questions. So, when I moved to Singapore in high school and then came to NYU, instead of trying to adapt my beliefs, I found friends who shared the same values. Despite being away from India, I still feel like I belong; I still feel like I am at home. I realized that home doesn’t have to refer to a native country or physical place—rather, it is a state of mind. Home is being at peace and comfortable with my own emotions and beliefs. So, when I went back to Delhi this past summer and admitted that I was agnostic, one of my family members replied, “It’s just a passing phase.” A few years ago, this comment would have disturbed me, but now I can smile and shrug it off knowing everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. While I may not be able to relate to traditional culture or jokes, I can still surround myself with Indians as well as non-Indians who share my beliefs, and find a strong sense of belonging. Archita Kumar is a sophomore at NYU studying Economics and Psychology.

Home is a State of Mind 39


SQUARE, REFINED, CLEA ARE, REFINED, CLEAR

[方叔晴: FĀNG SHŪ QÍNG] By: Alexandra Fong I have a small post-it note washitaped to my laptop, right by the mousepad. It seems like overkill—tape on a post-it? But it’s an important little slip of pink paper. It has three characters on it that I, for the longest time, couldn’t remember for the life of me, hence why I wrote them down and taped the post-it so cautiously. It has followed me from my desk at home to my dorm desks in New York; it’s been taped to my laptop in Paris and finally in Shanghai. I referred to it for so many birthday and Father’s and Mother’s Day cards over the years that I’ve lost count, and I use it to remind myself of what I should have committed to memory when I was still a kid. As summer wound down, I approached the fall semester with dread. I would spend it in Shanghai, in a country that has long mystified me because of my limited experience with it. What little I remember about my first and last trip to Shanghai, my family was able to fill in the blanks. “Oh, the mainland Chinese are so rude! They spit everywhere, they have no manners,” my mom would remind me while we were eating dinner in late May (T-minus three months until the Big Move). “Don’t eat pork! And try not to cross any big roads, the drivers there are crazy! And wipe down everything you eat or drink from, even if it’s wrapped in plastic wrap; they’re just trying to trick you into thinking they’re clean!” My grandma, a Shanghainese woman herself, would warn me in Cantonese around mid-July (T minus one month until the Big Move). Even my friend, a Chinese national, said that because I’m Chinese but don’t speak Mandarin, my experience with people in China would be more difficult than if I was a foreigner of another race because to be Chinese and not know Mandarin would be considered

40 Personal Essays

shameful. With all these warnings about a country I could barely remember, I began to fear the time I would spend in China. I wondered if I had made a mistake in deciding to study abroad in Shanghai, because even my Chinese relatives had so many terrible things to say about the place that would soon be my home for the next four months. When my mom and I arrived here, and had dinner with Momo, my dad’s cousin, she advised that I not order take-out food here (even though everyone in Shanghai does), because the occasional delivery person has eaten the food or, even worse, eaten the food and spit it back into the take-out container. Before I arrived, I was already convinced that everyone in China was out to get me.

“Before I arrived, I was already convinced that everyone in China was out to get me.” I was a bit terrified of talking to Momo and Trent, another one of my dad’s cousins, without my mom. While Momo knew some Cantonese, the dialect I grew up with, and Trent knew more Cantonese and even some English, I didn’t really know how to talk to them unless it was about food. When my mom and I had dinner with my dad’s extended family, what little I could understand of their Shanghainese conversations was them offering me dishes I had never known before. It was an instance where regardless of dialect or language, food was the best way to communicate: to show that I was a welcome member of the family despite having just met many of them for the first time, and that I could call them if I wanted to go anywhere or get

Photos taken by Alex during her semester studying abroad.

“Regardless of dialect or language, food was the best way to communicate.” anything. Momo’s husband told me I say thank you too much whenever he refilled my teacup, but I didn’t know how else to tell him that his gesture meant more than just more tea to drink. When the semester started, Elementary Chinese 1 was so intense that it left my head spinning. It made me wish that I hadn’t quit Chinese school at a young age, but it also made me think about the countless nuances in Chinese dialects. When I learned the number two in Chinese school, I learned to pronounce it as “er,” but at NYU Shanghai, I learned to pronounce it as “are.” Depending on the region, different dialects have different pronunciations for the same characters, so I began to compare the Mandarin I learned at school to the Hong Kong Cantonese dialect I learned growing up. I try to use my Cantonese background to my advantage when I speak in broken Mandarin. For instance, the first time I ordered a Chinese pancake wrap from a food stall right by school, I used the Cantonese term, “bǎng,” to learn that the term in Mandarin is pronounced “bǐng.” Rather than facing the ridicule I expected, the man at the stall (whom my friends and I affectionately refer to as Pancake Man) pointed at the various ingredients and told me what they’re called. Jīdàn (egg), jīròu (chicken), shēngcài (lettuce), bǐng, (pancake). With experiences like this, I began to let go of the fear I learned back home. From then on, I grew to appreciate Shanghai more than fear it: I now revel


AR

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SQUARE, REFINED, CLEAR 41


方叔晴 Photos

taken

Alexandra her

by

during semester

studying abroad.

fāng shū qíng in the ease of paying through WePay and QR codes, bask in the warm glow of FamilyMart, and marvel at the handpulled noodles in the cafeteria. This is not the terrifying, faraway place that my family warned me about. Of course, there are times when I nearly get run over by the hordes of motorcyclists zipping across the city to deliver food, moments when I’m frustrated and near tears at the bank and hoping that I get a teller who can speak English, and the occasional meal where I question if I drank tap water, which isn’t potable in China. But for the most part, I’m no longer wary or fearful of a place where the worst treatment I’ve

“This is not the terrifying, faraway place that my family warned me about.”

42 Personal Essays

personally come across has been a taxi driver not understanding that I wanted to get out two blocks ago. So far, my time in Shanghai has been awash with an unbalanced mix of emotions that I wouldn’t want to experience anywhere else—fear, discomfort, excitement, confusion, frustration, gratitude. Because of my anxieties and concerns, Shanghai has become a place where I can learn and grow. Every day, I think about the “thank you” cards I will write to Momo, Trent and the rest of my extended family. What I’ll put on the cover, the message inside— “thank you for switching between Baidu Maps and Baidu Translate so you can talk to me while we’re stopped at red lights”; “thank you for taking me out for nice meals with your families”; “thank you for the Autumn Festival mooncakes”; “thank

you for your bottomless generosity.” What I won’t have to think about is how to write the three characters washi-taped to my laptop: they are characters I will never forget and sign with pride.

Alexandra is a junior studying Media, Culture, and Communication. She watches too much TV for her own good.


MEDIA HIGHLIGHT

check out our videos at youtube.com/nyugenerasian

HYPHEN: A series where the Media Team interviews our Asian-American friends about their identity and experiences growing up in between two cultural experiences. Part 1 featuring our Korean-American friends, including our team’s very own Min Ji Kim and Joseph Lee.

In our latest NOM food series video, we bring in two friends to introduce their favorite food and snack that reminds them of home.

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media team Co-Editors: Jenny Du Megan Liao Deputy Editor: Kelly Sheng Media Team Members: Michelle Choi Min Ji Kim Joseph Lee Zoe De Leon Yushi Nagamatsu Marva Shi Callia Tong Alyanna De Vera Alice Ye

Media Highlight 43


BLOG HIGHLIGHT:

generasian.blog Sharing Asian American Voices at NYU

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A Meme Page for the Asian Immigrant Community – Subtle Asian Traits by candicebye

NOVEMBER 13, 2018 In today’s media-saturated society, meme culture has become an integral part of millennials’ daily social interaction. If you’re a millennial, hopefully, you know what a meme is – but for those who don’t, a meme often takes the form of an image along with a humorous or witty caption, usually making fun of a concept, a social phenomenon, or just something random in our daily life. A good meme can go viral on various social media platforms and be passed on through “tagging” as well as imitation. For me, scrolling through Facebook in search of memes to tag my friends in is definitely part of my daily routine. Many of the memes I come across are from pages such as 9gag, Meme Society and NYU Memes for Slightly Bankrupt Teens (*school pride*). This has changed recently, as my Facebook feed has become bombarded by even funnier and more relatable memes posted in a closed Facebook group – Subtle Asian Traits: a meme page originally designed for Asian Australians.

read more 44 Blog Highlight


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CURRENT EVENTS

Here’s Everything You Need To Know About The Nagini Controversy by phoebechuang NOVEMBER 6, 2018

Recently, you’ve probably been hearing a lot about a character named “Nagini,” from the Harry Potter World. Ever since the trailer for “Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes of Grindelwald,” was released, controversy centering the casting of Nagini has aroused. The movie cast Claudia Kim, a South Korean actress, as Nagini. So, what’s the big deal here? Why are fans freaking out about this? It’s quite clear that casting Nagini as Asian further perpetuates the “submissive” stereotype we have seen in the movie industry; throughout film’s history, Asian women have always been cast as servant-like or less-than characters.

read more CULTURE

This Chinese Farmer Made A Fortune By Live Streaming Her Life by grace cheng

NOVEMBER 1, 2018 A few days ago, The New Yorker’s Yi-Ling Liu posted a special feature about a farmer from China who found a career in live streaming. Upon stumbling on the article, I found myself fascinated by this farmer’s story and her rise to fame.

read more

The Team Blog Editor: Grace Cheng Senior - Media, Culture and Communication Deputy Blog Editor: May Do Senior - Journalism and Politics

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Bloggers: Candice Chiang Sophomore - Media, Culture and Communication Phoebe Chuang Sophomore - Media, Culture and Communication Ethan Hsia Junior - Cinema Studies

Blog Highlight 45


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46 Meet the Eboard


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47


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