Inauguration, parade, the Secret Service, home school, sleepovers...and TROUBLE!
She’s an orphan. She’s smart. She’s the leader of the free world and commander-in-chief.
She’s 12!
Prologue
IT WAS STRANGE how it happened. Millard Standish Willoughby was elected president of the United States. His wife had died ten years earlier of cancer. Their oldest daughter, Abigail, had been a lawyer. She had married another lawyer, Joseph America. While on assignment in a war zone for the U.S. military, they had both been killed in a bomb attack on a courthouse. And so when President Willoughby took office and came to live in the White House, he brought his two orphaned grandchildren, Mary and Josh, with him. President Willoughby adored them both, but was especially fond of the oldest, Mary.
Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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She had her mother’s beautiful skin, eyes, and hair, and she was smart. She had already skipped several grades in school, and was eligible to go on to college. Instead, Mary held the Bible while her grandfather took the oath of office, marched down Pennsylvania Avenue on a blue-sky, winter’s day in the Inauguration parade, and settled into the White House at her grandfather’s side. During his first two years of office, President Willoughby had been exceedingly effective. He was decisive, popular, a good man at getting people on opposite sides of the fence to listen, learn, and, even if gritting their teeth, agree. It was hard to pinpoint exactly when his health began to fail. Like former president Franklin D. Roosevelt, who suffered from polio, the folks who surrounded him helped cover up President Willoughby’s almost imperceptible, but growing, disabilities.
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Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
At first it was just a little forgetfulness. But slowly things grew worse. An energetic man, he began to need frequent “catnaps” to get through the day. Almost no one outside of his immediate circle of aides, closest friends, the White House physician, and his granddaughter, of course, realized that the robust man had changed. On the surface, the White House and the world went on, President Willoughby always there to give press conferences, meet with heads of state, kick-off the annual Easter Egg Roll, and other presidential duties, slight and serious. As always, Mary, nicknamed by the media the “Little First Lady” (a term she did not care for), was nearby. She spent time in the Oval Office, attended many meetings, and “to witness history,” as her grandfather put it, could even be found in the tense Situation Room of the White House during a crisis. Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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On November 21, precisely at midnight, President Millard Standish Willoughby had a heart attack and died. In the hours that followed, it was discovered that after a former law had been changed to allow a certain California governor to run for president (in spite of not being a native-born American), a minor, but dramatic, alteration had subsequently been made and signed into law by President Willoughby. This clause changed the requirements related to the age limits for presidential eligibility. Indeed, any age limits at all had been removed. The new stipulation specified no age, but that the candidate must have an IQ of at least 140. Another law had been added specifying that if a president could not finish his term, he could name a successor to finish that term. At 11:59 p.m. on the night of November 21, President Willoughby, White House lawyer at 4
Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
his side, had inked in his choice. The document had been notarized. At 1:17 a.m. on November 22, Mary America, IQ 146, had been sworn in as the new President of the United States. The Bible she swore the oath on had rested on her deceased grandfather’s chest. As required, Mary completed the oath by saying in a quiet, but assured voice: “I do solemnly swear.” She then bent over and kissed her beloved grandfather goodbye on his forehead. She thus became the new commanderin-chief and leader of the free world. President Mary America was twelve years old.
Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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Five months later… Monday, 9:00 a.m. The Oval Office BECAUSE HER FEET would not reach the floor, a small footstool had been placed beneath the presidential desk in the Oval Office for Mary America to rest her feet on. Whenever she sat at her desk (one that had once belonged to President Franklin D. Roosevelt), she always peeked beneath first to see if either “Ssss,” her big, green boa constrictor, or Josh, her pesky younger brother, were hiding there. The reason she had to check was that Josh would often sneak down there while Mary was doing some presidential concentrating and tie her shoe- laces together so that when she tried to stand up, she tripped. And Ssss had learned how
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Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
to untie her shoelaces, so when she tried to stand up, she also got entangled and tripped. Mary did not like to trip up. She took being President very seriously. It was a hard job. Being smart made it easier. Being a kid made it harder. People often thought they could “trip Mary up” because she was just twelve years old, but they soon learned better. Nonetheless, it did not help a President to fall flat on her face when greeting the Secretary of State or the Queen of England. So Mary always checked her shoes—twice. This morning, Josh was at school. He was lucky that he got to go to public school, Mary thought. Her other grandfather (referred to as the First Gramps by the media), who lived with them in the White House, had insisted that Josh not be escorted by the Secret Service to school.
Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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Josh was disappointed, but it was not like Gramps to be foiled in any plan. (He and Mary had that in common.) Their grandfather had insisted that the school bus pick Josh up each morning and bring him back each afternoon. So everyday, the big yellow bus had to stop for Bomb Check. The school bus driver, short, little, bald Mr. Crumbly had to show his ID. And ALL the kids squealed greetings to Josh, who waited patiently beneath the north portico to get picked up. Mary was always a little wistful as she watched the cheery school bus motor off. Mr. Crumbly always gave her a “high five” out his window as he pulled away and the joyful cheers faded as the bus left the White House gates. Due to “security issues,” Mary was home schooled. At least she was home schooled in the White House. She preferred to say she was “house
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Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
schooled,” but Gramps said that made it sound like she had a building for a teacher. In a way, she sort of did. The White House was certainly a constant education, she thought, as she doodled on her President of the United States of America notepad. But this morning, Mary’s job was to educate Congress, which did not seem to be able to balance its budget. “Got it all figured out?” asked Mrs. Denim, her former fourth grade teacher, who now served as the Secretary to the President. That had been Gramps’ idea, too. He thought it would add some stability to his granddaughter’s day to have a friendly, familiar face nearby, and it was. But even better, Mrs. Denim was really, really “teacher good” at dismissing people who just thought they could barge or charm their way in to see the President whenever they wished.
Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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Also, Mrs. Denim made great hot chocolate, which she placed on a Presidential Seal coaster at Mary’s right hand each morning promptly at 9:30. “Thank you, Mrs. Denim,” Mary said. She sipped a quick, careful gulp, and as always, wound up with a whipped cream moustache. “Charming, Miss President,” Mrs. Denim said. “That makes you look like the elder senator from the great state of Vermont.” Mary giggled. With a deft swipe of her tongue she swept the cream away. “I just wish these senators and Congressmen and women could add! I know there are a lot of zeroes in a budget, but really, as near as I can tell one minus two is still a negative number. I learned that in kindergarten. Didn’t they?” Mrs. Denim sighed. “You’d think. I do believe I had a couple of these folks in my class
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Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
way back when. I don’t recall that math was their best subject. So a lot of red ink?” “Red as blood!” Mary complained. “And I have to go before Congress tomorrow and I am sure they want me to approve their big, bad budget, but I just can’t do it.” Mary stomped her right foot on her footstool for emphasis and felt a big SQUASH. She looked. Yep, Ssss had taken up residence there, napping as usual. She gave her sweet, silly pet a foot rub. If he slept, maybe he wouldn’t slither up the side of her desk and sneak cocoa like he often did. Usually the whipped cream ended up on the top of his head like a pioneer lady’s bonnet. “Soooooooo?” inquired Mrs. Denim, removing the empty cocoa mug and wiping up peanut butter cookie crumbs. “So I have to think of an idea,” Mary said, sighing. “I don’t mind one bit telling Congress, Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ on behalf of the American people who DO have to balance their budgets. But I want to give them an idea to help them out.” As Mrs. Denim walked across the Oval Office rug filled with the Presidential Seal she asked, “So you’ll do what you always do when you have a Congressional conundrum?” Mary grinned. “You bet!” “Call in the Kitchen Cabinet?” Mrs. Denim asked. “Yes!” said Mary. “Please email them all and tell them to bring their…” “Their calculators?” Mrs. Denim guessed. Mary shook her red curls. “No,” she said. “Ask them to bring, hmm…glitter, glue sticks, and, you know, felt and sequins and other crafty stuff.” Mrs. Denim looked utterly puzzled. “TOP SECRET?” I assume. 12
Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
Mary sat up very straight in her most presidential pose. “Oh, absolutely TOP SECRET, Mrs. Denim. Absolutely TOP SECRET!”
Monday, 10:30 a.m. The Oval Office THE OVAL OFFICE is in the West Wing of the White House. It is the President’s official and formal office. It is, well, it’s oval in shape. The walls swoop around the room in a soft curve. Even the windows that look out onto a grove of trees are curved. Where the walls curve, there are doors you can see. But there are also doors that you can’t really see until someone pushes on the “wall” and a hidden panel opens. The White House is full of secret doors and stairways and other shortcuts to help those Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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who have permission move from place to place. Every morning at 10:30 sharp, Mary’s Chief of Staff slipped through one of the buttercream frosting-colored panels and sat in one of the armchairs across from Mary’s desk. It was time to do business. “Good morning, Mary,” the COS said. “How are you?” He looked down and frowned and scooted his chair back a foot or two. “And how’s Ssss?” Mary looked up.
“I’m fine and
Ssss…(she cocked her head to listen)…I believe Ssss is snoring.” The COS exhaled.
“Good.
Shall we
begin?” He did not wait for an answer but steadily breezed through the day’s agenda, calendar, reports, news updates, and “situations,” if there were any. There almost always were.
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Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
“Let’s see,” the COS began: “You have a light day because of your trip to Capitol Hill tomorrow. I’ve canceled any frou-frou stuff like greeting visiting schoolchildren…” “But I love to see the school kids who come to visit the White House on field trips!” Mary said. “At least they seem happy to see me…and they smile.” The COS looked up. He did not smile. “Friday, I’ll give you all the noisy, smelly, little school rats you can handle,” he said. “Ok?” Mary had the power to override her Chief of Staff, but she knew he was just trying to help her manage her ever-busy days. “Ok.” The COS continued.
He reeled off a
dizzying list of “Meet with…Call…Greet…Just a few
minutes
with…And
also…And
don’t
forget…And if there is time we need to slip in…Oh, and also Mrs…and…” Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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The list went on and on and on. Mary knew she did not need to remember it or write it down. There were aides to remind her of everything except when to go to the bathroom! Sometimes she thought being president was sort of like when she used to play Little League—receiving a constant series of surprise pitches when she was at bat. You never knew what was next, but you had to be prepared and respond, or get caught with a ball in your head or belly or kneecap, or get “struck out.” Well, really, no one could strike her out here, at least not for three more years when she came up for reelection. When Mary looked up from her doodling, she saw that the COS had slipped back out of the Oval Office. Mary wiggled her right foot; she looked down. Sure enough, Ssss had disappeared.
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Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
“One-thousand-one…one-thousandtwo…one-thousand-three…”
Just as she
expected, she heard a scream. Ssss had followed the COS out yet again. “Serves him right,” Mary said aloud to herself. “Next time he won’t nix the school kids!” Behind her a gentle voice said, “Serve you right, that’s vhat I vant to do!” The White House chef had entered the office from another door for his weekly appointment. When Mary nodded, he took a seat. “Your culinary vish is my command!” Chef said. “What’ll it be this veek, Miss President?” No matter how hard Mary had tried, she could not even get her closest personal staff to just call her Mary. When she had first taken office and asked, they would just nod and smile, and continue to address her as Miss President.
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However, when a blustery Congressman had had the audacity to call her “Mary” in an early meeting in the Oval Office, everyone in the room had gasped in shock and discomfort. The man had immediately apologized. “Now, Chef,” Mary teased. She loved the big, white-headed man in his big, white chef pants and shirt and crooked toque that sat on his head like a lopsided soufflé. “Let’s have all vegetables all week like turnips and rutabagas and squash, and no dessert at all whatsoever, please.” Chef shook his head. “Miss President, you teash Chef so!
I know it is:
waffles for
breakfash…PB&J for lunsh…and whatever your Grampsh wants for dinner…and let Miss Doodah cook for baby Priscilla as she prefersh, correct?” Mary sat with her arms folded listening to Chef ’s lilting accented litany. “Correct. And…”
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Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
“And,” Chef continued, “re-stock the candy jars, popcorn bin, cookie jar, and (he whispered) your secret stash of certain spechial foods your Grampsh does not know exists.” “Perfect!” said Mary. “But I also need a special dish for tomorrow afternoon, please.” Mary scribbled on her notepad and turned it around. “And a very sharp knife,” Mary added with a secretive wink. Chef picked up the note and chewed on his lip as he read the surprising request. At first he looked puzzled, then his face brightened. He snapped his fat fingers. “Aha! Got it!” He put a finger to his lips. “And shhhhhh’s the word!” “Uh, mum’s the word,” Mary said. “You want flowersh?” Chef asked, befuddled. “No, Chef,” Mary said and smiled. “Just the special dish.” Mary America, First Girl President of the United States
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In a light puff of baking powder, Chef bowed and disappeared out the windowed door.
Monday, 10:45 a.m. The Oval Office STORM CLOUDS PUSHED gray shadows across the Oval Office. Mary shivered and tugged her hoodie closer around her neck. She felt an even darker shadow stalk silently into the room behind her. “It’s time,” said a deep voice. Mary turned. “Oh, hi, Todd.” Todd was Mary’s Secret Service agent. She actually had lots of them. LOTS. But Todd was her personal one who pretty much followed her everywhere but the bathroom.
At first, she
thought having a Secret Service agent was a big bore and an insult to her inalienable right to 20
Mary America, First Girl President of the United States