the taste of Dr Pepper as one of a kind, saying, “I’ve always maintained you can’t tell anyone what Dr Pepper tastes like because it’s so different.” Different from what? First served in 1885, Dr. Pepper was invented at the Old Corner Drug Store in Waco by a pharmacist named Charles Alderton, and the recipe written in cursive in Alderton’s ledger book is hard to make out, but ingredients seem to include mandrake root, sweet flag root, and syrup. At first, Alderton’s drink, inspired by the smells in the drugstore, was called “a Waco,” and people would come in and say, “Shoot me a Waco, Alderton.”At 3:00 a.m. last night, I wanted to blow my brains out, but by 5:30, I’m thinking like a software company: “Solving Tomorrow’s Problems Today!” So I get up and put my boots on and go for a walk in the park, where I see a woman with her dog, but she’s on her cell phone, and the dog runs up to me, hungry for attention, and I look on his collar to see what his name is, and it’s Cody, but I leap to my feet when the owner approaches because I don’t want her to think I’m trying to find out her address, which is also on the collar, and that’s when I realize it’s my friend Patty whom I haven’t seen in years, and we talk for a while, and I say, “You and Cody have a good day,” and she says, “How did you know his name!”and I say, “You know, I have a thing for dog names,” which is kind a mean trick, because what if I never see Patty again? Maybe I’ll call her up, see if she wants to go get a Waco. It’ll just be two of us, me and Patty— well, and Cody, too, depending on where we go. We’ll get whatever we want, and I’ll walk them home. Everybody’s got to be somewhere. Wherever you are right now, that’s just fine. It’s America, after all. You don’t have to explain a thing.
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