Funnies extra midcoast maine june 2013 by Christopher Quimby

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FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

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BIZ

by DAVE BLAZEK OFF THE MARK

by MARK PARISI

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CAPTION CONTEST

Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Janice Wyman, 47 of Warren, who submitted the following caption to last issue’s contest: “I knew I shouldn’t have let you out of the bag!” Send your best caption to this week’s contest to: chris@nachotree.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name, age and city with permission. Void where prohibited.

Spring is a great time to get out and support our local businesses, run by our neighbors and friends.

Shop & Dine Local They depend on us for our business and we depend on them. They are the backbone of a vital, sustainable local economy.

Shop Thoughtfully. Shop Locally. 2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

by MASTROIANNI AND HART

TUNDRA

by CHAD CARPENTER

FACT OR FICTION?

*Did you know that actor Tommy Lee Jones and former vice-president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard? *Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom became the military salute in modern times. *An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. EEK!

by SCOTT NICKEL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

print & digital design Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com | heather@nachotree.com www.funnies-extra-maine.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation

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VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3

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4 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

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*In TV and movies, a “walla-walla” scene is one where extras pretend to be talking in the background -- when they say “walla-walla” it looks like they are actually talking. by DANIEL COLLINS

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VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 5

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6 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

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Celebrating the people who grow stuff and the stuff they grow.

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VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 7

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8 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

THE OTHER COAST

by ADRIAN RAESIDE

by SCOTT LINCOLN Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 9

A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father, and publisher of Funnies Extra in Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over ten years experience in the print industry. Chris and his wife, Heather, are excited to offer Funnies Extra to Maine, offering a fun and attractive departure from the norm. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby

Doing Things Differently by Chris Quimby My family and I have been on an adventure, relying largely upon the generosity of strangers during Spokes and Jokes (www.spokesandjokes.com) my eight-week cycling mission from Maine to Texas. We’ve stayed in a lot of homes and met a lot of new friends. While living such a lifestyle, though, we’ve noticed the differences from living every day in our own home. For example, our new normal includes a great variety of hair care products. Now I believe my wife brought her own, but I’ve vowed to use whatever is available in the showers of my hosts. As of this writing, I’ve stayed in about twenty different homes and have probably used at least fifteen different shampoos. This does not bother me. Years ago, my wife worked as a hairdresser. We would have discussions about the marketing strategies of those that produce hair care products. Some shampoo manufacturers crafted an image of their product that made it seem nearly medicinal, that it was

something you probably should have a prescription for. They were sold exclusively in salons, likely because the general public could not be trusted to responsibly use them. I always thought this a bit much. It’s shampoo. I feel that the company is mostly just trying to sell an image. I’m still quite sure of this. Most of the exotic ingredients in today’s shampoos can’t be really that necessary. They are not, but are simply there to make us feel good about what we’re putting on our hair. You can have your nectar and ginger. I want my shampoo to contain just three exotic ingredients: garlic powder, onion powder and oregano. Those are the three spices we sprinkle on our homemade pizzas and they are wonderful. While visiting, I’m also quite sensitive to whether someone keeps a “shoes on” or “shoes off ” house. Ours is a “shoes off ” house, but we are not dogmatic about it. When we have company over, we don’t normally make it an issue, unless it’s mud season or they have a job shoveling bovine excrement. I’ve found that most people haven’t minded whether our footwear is removed, possibly because they wish to have us feel welcome, but likely because they heard about how much my feet stink. We’ve stayed with night owls and with early risers, normally not the

same group of people (unless they live near a Dunkin Donuts). We tend to go to sleep at some point between 10 and 11, which seems to be the practice of many in other states. It’s important to think ahead, though, when staying at someone else’s house. For instance, when I get up early in the morning at home, I can casually walk to my master bathroom from my master bedroom with little social awkwardness. However, many of our recent bedrooms do not have adjoining bathrooms, so it’s important for me to be wearing ample clothing, should I happen upon the owner of the house on my way to my duties. When using other people’s kitchens, I’ve discovered that it’s very difficult to predict where they keep their things. I’ve opened many a cupboard expecting to find a drinking glass, but have instead found breakfast cereal. I’ve opened silverware drawers, but have discovered pot holders. One thing, however, is consistently true regardless of where we stay across this great nation. Everybody stacks their dishwasher incorrectly except you. Whoever you are, you know in your heart that you alone hold the secrets to properly loading the contents of said appliance. I’ve considered, at some point, offering an adult education class aimed at reducing family conflict by discussing the correct way to do things around the home, like loading toi-

10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

Swanville, ME (207)338-4586 www.mooressepticinc.com let paper dispensers and squeezing toothpaste tubes. The class would operate in debate format, with passionate participants arguing publicly and defending their positions on such hot topics as “TOILET PAPER: Underhand or Overhand”? Despite all of the varieties of home life we’ve discovered during this trip, one day we will return home. It’s hard to predict whether this exposure to “other cultures” will motivate change at my own residence. After all, I’m quite satisfied with the way we do things. Our toilet paper is in the correct overhand orientation, I squeeze my toothpaste from the back of the tube and I load my dishwasher however my wife requests. And I will still wash my hair with what’s available in our shower. In fact, I have no idea what I regularly use for shampoo. I suppose it’s whatever is reasonably priced and might possibly make my hair look good when I do the gratuitous head shake from left to right that the ladies do in the commercials. But they are so impressively able to do it in slow motion, which makes their hairdo look so much more elegant than mine. My efforts always end up being at full speed, which makes me look disagreeable or just plain crazy. Who knows. Maybe it’s the shampoo I’m using.

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FACT OR FICTION? *A jumbo jet uses 4,000 gallons of fuel to take off. *There are several companies developing dinnerware out of wheat, potatoes and oatmeal, so you can literally eat your plate. *About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30. HOXWINDER HALL

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VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11

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THIN LINES

by Randy Glasbergen

ÂŠ 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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12 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

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LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS

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VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13

Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information, go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF file along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited)

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MARK SIMON Producer/Director/Cartoonist Mark Simon is 25-year film & TV veteran amassing over 3,000 production credits including animation producer on Larry the Cable Guy’s latest movie, Tooth Fairy 2. His storyboard and animation companies, www.Storyboards-East.com, have included clients such as Disney, Universal, Viacom, Sony, HBO, Nickelodeon, FOX, Steven Spielberg, USA Networks, ABC Television and many others. His experience selling original TV series led to his founding www. SellYourTvConceptNow.com to mentor other creators. He is also the author of ten popular industry texts, and lectures around the world at major conferences, entertainment trade schools and universities.

POCKET LINT

by CHUCK DOWNS

Haikus amuse me But sometimes can confuse me Refrigerator I always find random things in my pockets at the end of the day: paper clips, gum wrappers, dry cleaning receipts and the ever-present lint. These drawings are what’s left in my head when the day is done: the random “pocket lint” of my brain.

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14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

Chuck Downs is a carbon-based form of cartoonist who lives in Florida with his wife and two children. By day, he is vice president of marketing for a company that clearly does not conduct very thorough background checks. By night, he fights crime. Now that he is older, his experience only walks the gamut for fear of pulling a hamstring. He often “misuses” quotation marks, and likes to frequently split his infinitives.

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also... ACROSS 12. Sad song 1. Astringent 13. Velocity 5. Hiding place 19. Extraterrestrial 10. Contributes 21. Cause surfeit through excess 14. Memo 25. Desire 15. Heart artery 26. A noble gas 16. Journey 27. “Oh my!” 17. Tailless stout-bodied amphibian 28. A gold coin of ancient Persia 18. Written material 29. Ancient Greek marketplace 20. Honorable 30. Bread maker 22. Mixture 31. Get prone 23. Shade tree 34. Wise men 24. Annoyed 35. Hodgepodge 25. Inescapable 36. Adolescent 32. Pass-the-baton race 38. French for “Bon” 33. Another time 39. An endowment 34. French for “Word” 41. About a US quart 37. Objective 42. Blowgun missile 38. Penniless 44. Almost 39. Broad valley 45. Make cool 40. N N N N 46. Product of bees 41. France’s longest river 47. A chemical compound 42. Motherless calf 48. Cubic meter 43. Embodiment 51. Narrow opening 45. Thorax 52. Fizzy drink 49. Historic period 53. Orange pekoe 50. Stewardess 54. Border 53. Shreds 55. Part in a play 57. Intruder 56. Sleigh 59. False god 58. A writing implement 60. Lascivious look 61. Something to shoot for 62. Leer at Answers to last month’s crossword 63. Stringed instrument 64. A Eurasian aromatic herb 65. Require

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by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END

by TYSON COLE

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DOWN 1. Initial wager 2. Plunder 3. Salt Lake state 4. Belonging to the Middle Ages 5. Highly seasoned fatty sausage 6. Hard work 7. Paintings 8. Flower stalk 9. Rabbit 10. Fragrant oil 11. Inebriated

VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15

SPEED BUMP

by DAVE COVERLY

LOOSE PARTS

by DAVE BLAZEK

CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK

through the teen We empower boys and girls from grade school that centers on years and from various backgrounds with the truth works with all the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our summer camp staff of life in cabin s issue campers on their level in discussing important kers encourage devotional times and our high quality guest spea ons happening and motivate our young people during chapel sessi e and beyond who daily. We challenge the young people from Main tually, socially, spiri enter our doors as summer campers to become nsible leaders, mentally, and physically healthy and to become respo hy relationships. with creative thinking, self-motivation, and healt

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16 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 4 - JUNE 2013

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