live out
YOUR influence
Fall+Winter 2012
Influence
{
letter from the editor
} {PUBLISHER} Elisa Morgan, M.Div. {MANAGING EDITOR} Mary Byers, B.A., CAE {ART DIRECTOR + GRAPHIC DESIGNER}
The teacher who influenced me most is the one who taught the subject I loved least: math. It intimidated me. It
didn’t come easily. And though I love words, story problems were (and still are) the bane of my existence. Mr. Luepke wasn’t typical in terms of math teachers. Though he cared about formulas and algorithms, he was more concerned that we saw the value of math and how it impacts our lives. He wanted us to see it in nature, at the grocery store, on our paychecks—anywhere and everywhere there was math. He knew that not all of us would be using it on a daily basis. He also knew that the ability to reason and persist were two traits that would serve us well— long after we put our last math book away. Boy, I couldn’t wait to put the math book away! My high school required three years of math and I longed for the end of my junior year when I could officially take a sabbatical from adding and multiplying and solving trigonometry problems. I submitted my schedule and looked forward to a math-free year. Then Mr. Luepke hunted me down. “I noticed you’re not taking a math class next year,” he said. I smiled smugly. “That’s right. Since I don’t have to, I’m not going to.” “Mary, Mary. I know you are college bound. Taking a year off would be a mistake. You’ll be out of practice and handling a college course without the consistency of working problems
Cindy Young, B.A.
will make it much harder than it needs to be.” I set my jaw. “I appreciate your concern but it’s so hard for me!” I wailed. “I don’t think you know what’s it’s like not to be a math head.” He was unmoved. He urged me to sign up for a class and told me he’d be looking for my name on the list. I was irritated. Majorly irritated. I turned to leave and then Mr. Luepke said something very unlike a math teacher. “Mary, I know you think you can’t do it but I know you can.” I know you can. Mr. Luepke’s words have echoed in my mind. Not just once. Not twice. Not even three times. But every single time I think the words, “I can’t” I hear his voice in my mind. “Mary, I know you think you can’t do it but I know you can.” And because of him, I do. Today, I’m able to do simple math problems in my head without a calculator or a piece of paper. And story problems have gotten a bit easier. I even answered a trivia question correctly last week. (What’s the square root of 121? Answer: 11.) I think of Mr. Luepke when these things happen. And I also think of him when I do something I wasn’t sure I could do. Who’s influencing you? And who are you influencing? Join us in this issue as we explore the topic… Mary Byers MANAGING EDITOR, FullFill writer@FullFill.org
{ADVISORS}
Tracey Bianchi, M.Div. SPEAKER AND AUTHOR
Jonalyn Fincher, M.A. AUTHOR, SPEAKER, APOLOGIST
Beth Flambures, C.P.A. CFO, ROCKY MOUNTAIN PBS
Carla Foote, M.A. SENIOR DIRECTOR COMMUNITY & RESOURCES, MOPS INTERNATIONAL
Phyllis H. Hendry PRESIDENT, LEAD LIKE JESUS
Bev Hislop, D.Min. ASSISTANT PROFESSOR, WESTERN SEMINARY
Carolyn Custis James, M.A. PRESIDENT, WHITBYFORUM FOUNDER & PRESIDENT, SYNERGY FOR WOMEN
Laurie McIntyre, M.A.C.E. PASTOR OF WOMEN2DAY, ELMBROOK CHURCH
Patricia Raybon, M.A. RETIRED, UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM
Constance Rhodes AUTHOR, SPEAKER, FOUNDER AND PRESIDENT OF FINDINGBALANCE
Halee Gray Scott, M.A. Ph.D. FACULTY, A.W. TOZER THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY & WESLEY SEMINARY AT INDIANA WESLEY SEMINARY
Liz Selzer, M.A. M.Div., Ph.D. PRESIDENT, CEO, MENTOR LEADERSHIP TEAM
FullFill™ P.O. Box 461546, Aurora, CO 80046 Join FullFill™ at FullFill.org. Contact us at info@FullFill.org For advertising contact alliances@FullFill.org Faith position statement and writer’s guidelines available at FullFill.org. FullFill™ is a ministry of Mission: Momentum. The purpose of FullFill™ magazine is to equip women to recognize, utilize and maximize their influence in all the spheres of their lives. All opinions expressed are those of the writers and are not necessarily those of FullFill™ magazine or Mission: Momentum. The magazine promotes thoughtful dialogue and appropriate action as women use their gifts and abilities for kingdom purposes.
Copyright 2012 Mission: Momentum.
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FRONT COVER © DIGITAL VISION / GETTY IMAGES FALL/WINTER 2012
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{ in focus }
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Influence by Dale Hanson Bourke
In a world where influence is measured by numbers of cyberspace “followers” and “friends” it’s not always easy to remember the true meaning of the word.
{ voices }
Shaping and Being Shaped
8 Boss Lady By Esther Feng 9 Following By Angie Smith 10 Eyes to See By Cindy Young
contents
Fall + Winter
2012 { columns }
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22 Think: He Gives and Takes Away By Carolyn Custis James
26 Worldly Women: Ideas As Influence
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By Shayne Moore
Letting Go of “Normal” by Jennie Allen
30 Male Box: Life Forms Leaders By Jim Daly
31 My Fill: Invitation to Influence
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What if the things I thought he wanted for me at this stage of my life were the very things keeping me from him?
By Elisa Morgan
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20 Resting Place 24 Overflow More Like Him By Julie Arduini
Approved to God
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Spiritual Formation
Woman of Influence Audiences An Interview with Brenda Warner by Mary Byers
By Oswald Chambers
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In flu DIGITAL VISION / GETTY IMAGES
The air was buzzing with conversations punctuated by occasional shouts of greeting as I entered the crowded ballroom. Important people were hugging other important people. Young people on the move up were shaking hands with those who had “arrived.” It was a power gathering of the rich and famous and I didn’t know a soul. I had never felt more out of place in my life. I was attending the high profile charity event simply to fill a chair at the table of a friend. No one in the entire room was hoping to meet me; those who scanned the incoming faces for someone important quickly looked past mine. I felt so out of place that I was about to turn around and leave when I was reminded of the benediction from the sermon that week. “You go nowhere by accident,” the pastor had said. “God has a purpose for you. Wherever you are, be used by him.”
So I took a deep breath, stepped to the side and prayed, “Lord, show me my purpose here.” And that’s when the room began to look different to me. Outside the buzz of activity in the center I noticed the people standing alone, those lingering at the side, even a woman sitting by herself at a table. I wasn’t the only one who felt left out. For the next half hour I was on a mission, not to find the important people but rather the ones God wanted me to meet. My evening suddenly had purpose. One by one I approached the people standing alone. In the end it was a life-changing event for me, not just because I met some wonderful people, but because I was reminded, again, of what really counts. When I measure myself against the world’s view of power and influence I am quickly defeated. I begin to exaggerate my insignificance and believe I have nothing to offer. But when I let God define my role, everything changes. In a world where influence is measured by numbers of cyberspace “followers” and “friends” it’s not always easy to remember the true meaning of the word. In God’s economy, influence is not a numbers game or a power
uence in focus
}
By Dale Hanson Bourke
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trip. It is a connection that grows out of our calling; a divinely opened door that we walk through with confidence and purpose, not because we’re important but because he is. The woman who most influenced my life never finished high school. She never gave a speech or wrote a book, never ran for office or so much as called in to a radio show to express her opinion. My grandmother lived most of her life in a small town, growing her own vegetables and raising some chickens. When she had a few moments to rest, she pulled out her well-worn Bible and tried her best to understand how to live the words she read. For more than 60 years she taught Sunday school in her small town, trying to help classes of toddlers through teenagers discover the joy of knowing God. Eventually Grandma retired to a nursing home. Although I lived half a continent away by then, I tried to visit her whenever I could. When I did arrive, I inevitably had to wait to see her. I’d peek into her room and see her arthritic hand holding that of a teenager or a young father or touching the cheek of a baby brought for her to admire. They were all her Sunday school students who still came to see her and seek her wisdom. Some were now successful businessmen, some still struggling teens. But they were all her “Sunday school kids” as she called them. When I once mentioned how amazing it was that so many different people came to seek her advice, she shrugged. “The Lord brought them to me,” she said matter of factly. “I guess he still needs me to love some of them a little more.” My grandma would have laughed at the idea that she had influence. She was a simple woman with simply extraordinary faith. When God brought people to her, she showed them his love—and changed hundreds of lives. Sometimes I wish I had faith like my grandma. I am less content to sit back and wait for divine encounters and more inclined to feel I
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should be “doing something.” I have seen poverty and disease and turmoil in the world and I feel like I should be doing more to “fix” the problems. And yet I know that unless God gives me the work I am supposed to do, I am at risk of running wildly amok. I can take off on a tangent that leaves me harried and disconnected and end up doing more harm than good for anyone. On my bulletin board hangs a tattered piece of paper with words attributed to late Salvadoran Archbishop Oscar Romero. The paper is tattered because it has been stuck to many bulletin boards over the years, a reminder to temper my need to “make a difference” with the understanding that only God knows what that difference should be. In part, this is what’s on the paper: “The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work…. This is what we are about: We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise…. We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are prophets of a future not our own.” The words of the martyred priest remind me that influence is only worthwhile if I am part of something so magnificent that my role is both insignificant and frighteningly holy. It is when we try to grasp at influence that we end up ensnared and dissatisfied, missing out on the privilege that only God can offer—a gift that will surprise us with its extravagance. n Dale Hanson Bourke is a consultant and writer who lives just outside Washington, D.C. Her books include, Embracing Your Second Calling and The Skeptic’s Guide to the Global AIDS Crisis. Her next book is a Christian’s guide to the IsraeliPalestinian conflict.
RichMedia Click on the button below to watch “Influence: Front Porch and Beyond with Missionary/Mom Beth Guckenberger”
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Jesus Calling
ÂŽ
))
voices )
What does godly influence look like? And while we are learning to use our influence, how are we ourselves being shaped?
Finding, understanding and using your unique voice is a lifelong process.
Boss Lady
By Esther Feng
Esther Feng lives in Central New York with her husband and two daughters who teach her more about influence than any leadership workshop ever has. Esther serves as Development Communications and Grant Writer for MOPS International.
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ALEXANDRMOROZ / ISTOCKPHOTO
One of my favorite pictures of my oldest daughter is when she’s about two years old, sitting in a leather office chair, with a big grin. She was spinning in the chair when she suddenly stopped and announced, “I’m the boss lady!” (Except she said “I de boss wady!” as she struggled with the L sound.) Boss lady. For a long time, that’s what I thought influence was. A boss lady who barks out orders and people obey. An executive who makes others tremble at her mere passing. A mom whose kids quickly fall into line. My daughter is ten years old now and I’m discovering true influence is anything but being a boss or being in control. No, influence is more about self-control: quieting my spirit so I can listen for direction from God, letting go of my todo list so God can drop people into my life, holding my tongue so I can hear what others are saying. Influence is alive and sometimes unpredictable. It requires being in the moment, paying attention to the ebbs and flow of relationship, whether intimate or professional. Being a leader demands courage to do what’s nearly impossible: humbly following God. My sphere of influence isn’t wide—just my husband and kids, some co-workers and perhaps a few friends. But I hope it can be deep as I strive to obediently rein my “self ” in. Just maybe I’ll teach my little “boss lady” something about influence, even as I simultaneously learn about it from her. n
Read as these women share their voices and then consider your own.
SHAPED BY STORY
By Angie Smith
MHJ / ISTOCKPHOTO
Following It wasn’t the platform that made me want to teach about God. In fact, my “public” life and ministry are not things I ever would have chosen for myself. I like to say I’m an introvert who pretends to be an extrovert because I like to make people happy. I didn’t choose it, no. But the Lord has whispered to me over and over in the past few years, “This has nothing to do with you, Love...” And that’s what keeps me going. Facing fears of flying and speaking in public. Crying in front of thousands of people as I recall the story that introduced me to them in the first place. “My daughter died...” Those horrible words, etched into every part of me. The ones that remind me day after day that this path was not mine. And yet, there is beauty in the ashes. I get to tell people of God’s faithfulness, and they believe me, because I have been to the depths. I get to look them in the eye, hug their necks while they mourn, and pray for their hearts and their brokenness. I believe that at the place of our greatest wounding, the Lord has provided an opportunity for our most profound influence. We live in a world that needs to be reminded that he has promised us more than this, and we bless him in sharing our stories. I pray he allows an opportunity for you to share your own heartache, and that he is glorified in the telling. n Angie Smith is the wife of Todd Smith (lead singer of Dove Award winning group Selah) and author of I Will Carry You and What Women Fear. First connecting with masses of women on her blog as she wrote about the pregnancy and ultimately the loss of her daughter, Audrey, Angie now connects with women through her books and national women’s conferences. She lives with her husband and a house full of daughters in Nashville, TN.
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))) SHAPED BY SIGHT
By Cindy Young
Eyes to See
Cindy Young is the graphic designer for FullFill, working from Virginia. Despite having earned a degree in Art/Visual Communications, she continues to wrestle with what art is and what it might mean to “disciple the eyes.”
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I am the mother of two young girls and I closely monitor what they watch on screens. I talk to them about advertising, especially the images of flawless women that crowd the media landscape. If you have sight, you know what I’m talking about. The ads. The store mannequins. The magazine covers in the grocery check out lanes. I know images have power. I should mention here that as a graphic designer I’m a small time pusher. I don’t peddle the hard stuff— images of women cleansed of cellulite, pores, and reality. No, my work is much less exotic. Through the years, I’ve waded through thousands of photographs, in search of the right image to persuade you to pick up that book or read this article. The hours I’ve spent mingling with photographs have trained my eyes to take notice. To stop and ponder meaning. But, at times, I’ve seen this artificial, cropped world as too shallow, lacking the diversity I see all around me and lacking the vocabulary I am learning to live, such as fellowship, grace, and self-sacrifice. I’m vigilant with my girls’ viewing habits because I know what we take in, whether thoughtfully or otherwise, shapes us. I have not outgrown this need for alertness. When I feel discontentment increasing, I know it’s time to limit my snacking on images of unattainable perfection. I know we can’t walk through life with our eyes closed, so I will help my daughters hear the stories whispered by the images: the truths and the lies. And I will continue to ask my Father to grant us eyes that truly see. n
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{
spiritual formation
}
Letting Go of “Normal”
It was our first date. Zac asked me what I wanted most in life. It was a great first-date question. I did not even have to think about it. I naively but passionately said, “I just don’t want to be normal.” Looking back, I realize I’d been watching all the families I knew and, I am sure, feeling like a hippie felt in the sixties. I wanted something radical. I had no idea what, but something not normal. I wanted more. I married the boy with the deep questions and we started trying to build our not-normal lives together. We were young and passionate
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By Jennie Allen
and adventurous until a few years passed and I took a pregnancy test. The results were positive, leading us to believe that normal was a necessity—a mortgage and health insurance and a safe house with a cute nursery. “Normal” started looking good. Before our first son was born, I sat with one of my friends from college who was also pregnant with her first and we talked about college and God. We remembered how passionate we had been, how single-mindedly sold out. I said, “I want to stay that way. I don’t want to get numb, and yet I feel myself caring more about what stroller to buy than
DIGITAL VISION / GETTY IMAGES
about heaven.” She replied, “I don’t think it will ever be like college again. We will always look back on those days as our most sold out.” I was terrified she was right. I knew that what was happening was common. As real life and responsibilities pressed in, I felt God being pressed out. Religion, church, and Bible study were all in place—but truly surrendered lives—the kind God could use anywhere and in any way he chose—had quickly turned into planned and calculated lives that focused on things like saving for a minivan. Our first little house was located near my parents and only a few blocks from my best friends from college. The nursery was painted to match the bedding, and my little baby boy had enough gear to care for five kids. I was on my way to the dream, but I felt the numb God-distance creeping in like a cancer. There had to be more. What if the things I thought he wanted for me at this stage of my life were the very things keeping me from him? People, stuff, perfectly crafted houses and lives were never meant to help what hurts. In fact, the more we build everything just right, the more protective we get of it. Like when my kids and I play Jenga. We will get that tower of blocks so high that it’s barely hanging on. I know it’s bound to fall, but I still want to punch the kid who brings it down. We build it knowing it will fall, and yet something in me still gets so mad when it does. There is another normal—it is invisible and lasts forever and it doesn’t fall down. The ironic thing about believing in God and supernatural things is that the invisible stuff
is actually the most trustworthy and the most stable. The concrete things we can see and touch become the wind, the things we try to catch, and over and over they pass through our fingers and souls, keeping us empty. When I take my empty self to God, he feels familiar and stable and more like concrete than wind. So why not seek what’s invisible and intangible, but so powerful? I don’t know God’s plans for you but I do know that he doesn’t compete. When he speaks it typically costs something. I’m learning that for him, it’s worth forsaking everything. Even “normal. “ We’ve boiled him down to principles. Yet, he’s not that neat. Following God is costly. It always has been. Everything I have ever tried to smash into my soul to fill it seems to just make me ache for more. He gets in and actually restores me, unwinds my mess of a head and soul. What is your “normal?” What is the one thing you are afraid to give God? What if heaven and God and forever became our normal? Wouldn’t that change everything? Wouldn’t that change us? n
Jennie Allen is a bible teacher from Austin, Texas. She serves alongside her husband Zac, a pastor at Austin Stone Community Church. They have four children including their youngest who was recently adopted from Rwanda. Jennie graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary with a Masters in Biblical Studies and recently released her first DVD bible study entitled, Stuck: The Places we get Stuck and the God who sets us Free, as well as her first book, Anything, from which this is adapted.
RichMedia Click on the button below to watch Jennie Allen’s “What is Your Anything?”
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woman of influence
An Interview
wit h
es
Brenda Warner by Mary Byers
Brenda Warner was in the stands (and in the spotlight) in 2000 when her husband, Kurt Warner, quarterbacked the St. Louis Rams to a Super Bowl title. Today, she still finds her self in the spotlight while speaking to women on stage with Women of Faith EDMONSON PHOTOGRAPHY
or working on behalf of First Things First, the foundation she started with Kurt.
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AUDIENCE OF EIGHT: Brenda with her seven children and husband. 2012
When you were growing up, did you ever expect to be in the situation you’re in or have the platform you do to share your faith? For many years growing up I was labeled “Jesus Freak.” That never deterred me from sharing the most life-changing call I ever received. I wanted everyone in my small little circle to know MY Jesus. Growing up I never dreamed of being in a situation like mine today or spending my days sharing my faith. Although it was important to me during my early years, I never envisioned having the chance to travel the country to do it. I don’t know if I have changed all that much from that teenager until now, in regards to understanding the important of Jesus’ message, but I know I don’t take my current situation lightly.
BRENDA WARNER
How difficult is it to live authentically when you are in the public eye and constantly under scrutiny? There is no doubt that we all want to be admired in the arena of public opinion, but Kurt and I have been very conscious of not allowing that outside pressure to affect who we are. In fact, we have actually done our best to not try and run or hide from our shortcomings. We know that it isn’t fun to look less than perfect in any situation, but we also don’t want to spend our lives trying to hide from the fact that we are not! We have come to realize that our greatest connection with others is not in all our perfections (I use the word loosely), but in our shortcomings. People must understand that our love for Jesus comes from our need of a Savior and his willingness to lay down his life for us. What better way to show this than to make our imperfections as public as our perfections? This way more people can associate with who we are and where we have been.
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How has “celebrity” affected and challenged you in all the roles you fill as a woman? It has challenged me in regards to demands on my time. That pull becomes a true balancing act between my responsibilities as a mother, a spouse and a career woman. I want to be good in all three areas, but that becomes more difficult the more directions you are pulled. The key for me has been in understanding that God has not only called me and Kurt but our whole family. We do our best to let them know there are both blessings and burdens that come with this. We try to have a healthy outlook on both of them.
As you go about your work, how do you make sure you have time for your own spiritual growth and development? This is one of the most difficult things for me with all of the different things pulling at my time. It often becomes difficult to make sure seven children have everything they need, both physically and emotionally, and also take care of my personal responsibilities. More times than not the spiritual aspect of things gets placed on the back burner so my goal has been to find God in those quiet moments throughout the day. I may not have the ability to always set aside 30 minutes to read my Bible and pray, but there are plenty of free moments in each 24 hour period. Maybe those moments are in the car driving the kids home from school or the two minutes of quiet as I open the shades and thank God for the sunrise, before waking my kids for the day. Every day
AUDIENCE OF ONE: Brenda with her husband, Kurt.
BRENDA WARNER
What would you say to FullFill readers who struggle with living authentically? “Perfection” is not reality. No matter how hard people try to portray the perfect life, those closest are always able to see right through it. Embrace your shortcomings, use your reality as a way to connect with the world around you, and then look to Jesus to help you overcome. Let me tell you from personal experience: there are far more flawed people than “perfect” and often times the “perfect” are far more flawed than anyone else.
is different, but God is available in each of them if take advantage of all those little moments. I believe he honors it when we make ourselves aware of his presence throughout our days.
Tell us about your First Things First Foundation. How did it start and what are your goals through it? The foundation was a dream of ours for a couple of years before it was started. We often talked about the importance of giving back but really had no idea what exactly that meant. We first got involved with a special needs summer camp in Missouri called “Camp Barnabas.” We saw their approach to giving unique opportunities to those in the special needs community. We saw our oldest son Zachary, who has a traumatic brain injury, experience things we didn’t know were possible. Through this very special camp we realized the need all around us for less fortunate individuals to gain experiences and opportunities that would be difficult on their own. That realization
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“ We all
was the birth of our “First Things First” foundation which is designed to put God’s love on display by developing unique programs and relationships that encourage others that all things are possible when they put “first things first.” On a personal level, what do you wrestle with most and how does your faith help you through it? My biggest struggle is with people. Since being placed in the public eye I have realized two things: 1) It is very difficult to hold onto your privacy and 2) A lot of people want to be your friends because of who you are or what you can do for them. It has really made me skeptical of other people and instead of taking them at face value, always wondering what they want from us. I don’t want to be like this, but we have experienced it over and over and it’s a battle to openly make myself available to others. I want to trust people, but this life in the spotlight has made it more of a struggle than ever before. It is here that I have to lean on God more and more every day. What events in your life have been life changing? I have had so many life-changing moments. My son suffered a traumatic brain injury, my first husband was unfaithful, and I lost both parents in a tornado. I experienced all of this by the time I was 30. I also have been fortunate to experience some life-changing things on the positive side. To watch Kurt achieve his dream. To have opportunities to impact so many lives due to the position we are in. To have seven wonderful children that are going to be world changers. Each is responsible for shaping me into the woman I am today. It’s one of the amazing attributes of our amazing God, that he can take any tragedy or success and use it to impact the world around us.
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What would you say to the woman who faces the daily grind of trying to influence in the most ordinary circumstances? I would say that a “big” impact is all about perspective. We never know today the type of impact we are going to have on tomorrow. Some of the greatest individuals in our history accomplished big things only because of the big influence that ONE person had on them. Spend your time making a great impact on a few people. We all have a circle of influence, no matter how big or how small. I believe God calls us to do the best we can where we are at. What keeps you grounded and how does it affect your influence? My kids have a way of bringing to light my shortcomings, always reminding me that I am not a finished product. Our foundation has a way of grounding me. It brings me in contact with people who are fighting battles and reminds me that we are here to help others. What would you say to women who find themselves in unexpected circumstances (either good or bad) in terms of keeping themselves grounded and finding a way to use the circumstances to influence? Put your trust in the only person that can be trusted! I have learned over the years that you can’t trust the weather, you can’t trust in mankind, and you can’t trust that bad things will never happen to you. The one thing you can trust is that regardless of your circumstances, God will never change. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will be there in the good times and the bad and as long as you don’t take your eyes off of him, you will get through whatever you are dealing with, even if, at the time, it feels impossible. n
have a circle of influence, no matter how big or how small.
”
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{
resting place
}
“Leadership is a concept we often resist. It seems immodest, even self-aggrandizing, to think of ourselves as leaders. But if it is true that we are made for community, then leadership is everyone’s vocation, and it can be an evasion to insist that it is not. When we live in the close-knit ecosystem called community, everyone follows and everyone leads.” — Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak, p. 74
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A feature inviting you to think through your theology. By Carolyn Custis James
He Gives and Takes Away
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deep into every reader’s story, including mine. The timing couldn’t have been better for my research on a new book about Lost Men of the Bible, but especially because of struggles I’m facing personally, the most glaring being my father’s terrible battle with cancer and the awful hole left in my life now that he’s gone. Surprisingly, Brueggemann connects the Isaac story with words we say whenever we pray the Lord’s Prayer: “Lead us not into temptation.” For Brueggemann the plea doesn’t suggest that God might tempt us to sin, but that he does lead us into situations where our faith is tested—those Abraham, Job, and Naomi places where to our utter bewilderment God takes away what he has given (Job 1:21), where emptiness and loss displace the fullness we once enjoyed from God’s good gifts (Ruth 1:21). We may sing and sway to the words, “He gives and takes away,” but I have yet to hear anyone claim Job’s agonized words as her life verse. Those fierce places where faith is on the line and the pain of loss engulfs us are places God’s children—from Job, Abraham, and Naomi to us—would do anything to avoid. The apostles warn us these are places we will travel too. Faith takes a beating when we suffer loss and from the agonies that bring those losses about. The Isaac story elevates our stories to a cosmic level where naked faith battles tenaciously to cling to God in the rubble of loss, without the happy props that make faith all too easy—where God’s own heart is blessed to see the stubborn refusal of his child to turn away no matter how dark things get, how broken we are, or what we’ve lost. “He gives and takes away. Blessed be his name.” n Carolyn Custis James is involved in mobilizing women through WhitbyForum and Synergy. Carolyn is the author of Half the Church: Recapturing God’s Global Vision for Women.
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SheLovesMagazine.com is a blog I follow—a sisterhood of mostly Canadian women engaging with raw honesty the intersection where life and beliefs collide. They’re producing some rather rich and gritty writing. One of the bloggers is Kelley JohnsonNikondeha’s whose bio reads: “She loves handwritten letters, homemade pesto and anything written by Walter Brueggemann.” I don’t connect with handwritten letters or homemade pesto, but I share her crush on Brueggemann. As someone who spends a lot of time digging in the Old Testament, I have a natural affection for anyone who will take me deeper. Some months ago I picked up Brueggemann’s Genesis commentary and was immediately hooked. I had intended to read only selected sections, but this commentary became a page-turner. I know it’s weird, but once again I found myself in the grips of a commentary I can’t seem to put down. Brueggemann’s work is a deep well, and I see why Kelley is hungry for anything he’s written. I’ve just passed the half-way mark where God asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, his long-awaited child of promise. Like a skeleton best left undisturbed in the family closet, this is one of the darkest most disturbing scenes in all of scripture—certainly not one to bring up when talking with non-believers. It doesn’t exactly cast God in a marketable light. Christians tend to tiptoe around this scene, fearful of asking questions that will unsettle our cozy views of God or of getting in over our heads. Brueggemann dives in and resurfaces, not with trite platitudes or lame excuses for what is happening here, but with an armload of honest insights that reach
{ think }
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CONTEMPORARY REFLECTION By Julie Arduini
More Like Him It was one of those object lessons that
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fell in our laps—literally. We agreed to take in a senior pet and fill his little life with our family’s love. Thing was, when he arrived, he wasn’t little, and he rejected our love. His owner raised him in a way where he had no boundaries. He could eat as much as and whenever he wanted. He was allowed wherever he pleased, at all hours. He was living a large life with no limits. That is, until he came to us. We established boundaries both on his access to food and where he could go. We did it for his health and safety as he was obese and scared. It didn’t take long before we realized the pet didn’t want any part of us. Once he happily returned to his owner and the waiting treat dish, I shared with our daughter that this furry bundle isn’t too different than her. “Remember when you asked for two desserts and we said no? We give rules and say no because we love you.” As I explained, I realized the concept goes beyond pets and kids. How many times have I rejected my Heavenly Father’s love through his Son because I didn’t want rules? Yet when I surrendered, I realized God’s commandments were created out of love and to keep me safe. Rules don’t suffocate, they accomplish the opposite. Proverbs 4:4 states, “Then he taught me, and he said to me, ‘Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live.’” n Julie Arduini is a writer and speaker who blogs for the Bella Women Network and Christians Read. Learn more about how she is surrendering the good, the bad, and—maybe one day—the chocolate at juliearduini.com.
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CLASSIC THOUGHT By Oswald Chambers
Approved to God “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”
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(2 Timothy 2:15)
If you cannot express yourself well on each of your beliefs, work and study until you can. If you don’t, other people may miss out on the blessings that come from knowing the truth. Strive to re-express a truth of God to yourself clearly and understandably, and God will use that same explanation when you share it with someone else. But you must be willing to go through God’s winepress where the grapes are crushed. You must struggle, experiment, and rehearse your words to express God’s truth clearly. Then the time will come when that very expression will become God’s wine of strength to someone else. But if you are not diligent and say, “I’m going to study and struggle to express this truth in my own words; I’ll just borrow my words from someone else,” then the words will be of no value to you or to others. Try to state to yourself what you believe to be the absolute truth of God, and you will be allowing God the opportunity to pass it on through you to someone else.
overflow
Always make it a practice to stir your own mind thoroughly to think through what you have easily believed. Your position is not really yours until you make it yours through suffering and study. The author or speaker from whom you learn the most is not the one who teaches you something you didn’t know before, but the one who helps you take a truth with which you have quietly struggled, give it expression, and speak it clearly and boldly. n Taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, edited by James Reimann, © 1992 by Oswald Chambers Publications Assn., Ltd., and used by permission of Discovery House Publishers, Grand Rapids MI 49501. All rights reserved. Order My Utmost for His Highest at 800-653-8333 or dhp.org.
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An invitation to find your place in this world. By Shayne Moore
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ONE/MORGANA WINGARD
greater power—together our individual voices are amplified. Through blogging partners back home in the United States and our one week in Kenya where we blogged about all we saw and learned about what life is like for other mothers and children, ONE Moms reached over 380 million people with our stories of struggle, disease, family, laughter, babies, meals and our common humanity. For our efforts, ONE Moms was featured on Good Morning America and was ABC’s Person of the Week. The use of the internet and social media has exploded the possibilities of our influence. And when ideas are birthed to action with organized women… watch out! In the past six months, ONE Moms have written 27 blog posts generating 85 comments from readers. ONE Moms recently took another trip to Ghana and the tweets from that trip alone reached 1.8 million users. ONE Moms has an active Facebook page that has generated hundreds of “likes” and “shares.” ONE Moms have even been to the White House. In the Roosevelt Room ONE Moms met with Dr. Jill Biden, Dr. Rajiv Shah, Administrator of USAID
Shayne Moore, MA, is the author of Global Soccer Mom: Changing the World Is Easier Than You Think. She supports and works closely with World Vision, ONE, World Relief and is a member of the World Vision Speakers Bureau. She lives with her husband, John, and three children in Wheaton, IL and can be found at facebook.com/shayne.moore and on Twitter@GlobalSoccerMom. Look for her forthcoming book, Refuse To Do Nothing: Finding Your Power To Fight Modern Day Slavery.
RichMedia Watch the ABC Person of the Week Video featuring the ONE Moms.
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and Gayle Smith of the National Security Council. Dr. Biden, knowing the ONE Moms had traveled to Kenya, was eager to share her experiences from her recent trip to Africa. At arguably one of the most influential places in the world, The West Wing, Dr. Biden, a mom, shared her experience and passion for change. She wanted to hear our stories and our hearts as well. Amidst historic paintings, iconic portraits, official flags lining the wall, a table of moms brainstormed ideas and worked together toward solutions. The experience of motherhood is universal no matter who you are or where you live. It matters what is happening to other moms and children worldwide. And no matter who you are you can influence change. Or, as Dr. Biden put it, “We’re all in this together.” n
Ideas As Influence
Women are the caretakers of the world. As moms we care deeply not only about the well being of our own children but we are thoughtful and deeply concerned about children struggling worldwide. This is the idea that sparked ONE Moms. ONE Moms is a movement of women everywhere raising their voices together on behalf of women and children struggling in poverty and preventable disease, particularly in Africa. We are moms within the membership (over 3 million strong) of ONE, the campaign to make poverty history. ONE Moms brought together thirteen unlikely partners in crime. Last summer ONE gathered women of influence from all over the country and we traveled to Africa to see first-hand the effects of poverty and disease on our motherhood counterparts. A nurse. A stay-at-home mom. A professional photographer. A Christian leader. Professional bloggers. Authors. Journalists. This posse of women on the first-ever ONE Mom trip to Africa were strangers to one another, assembled by the idea that together we make a difference and that as a collective we have
(worldly) women
Be a Friend.
Tell a Friend.
Go To: Invite!
Go to bed at the same time each night and rise at the same time each morning. Moderate physical activity may help promote sleep, but avoid vigorous exercise in the few hours before going to bed.
Over
4,000,000: Pieces of luggage lost by airlines each year.
“
Avoid nicotine.
Words, of course, are the most powerful drug known to mankind.
(National Sleep Foundation)
—Rudyard Kipling
Avoid large meals, caffeine, and alcohol close to bedtime.
quick Fill According to 2011 re search fro Stanford U m niversity, o n c e a man has a dau ghter, he’s m ore interested in gender equality.
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”
5¢ 1935:
One hour of parking in Oklahoma City
Today, Oklahoma City charges $1 per hour while New York and Chicago get $5 per hour.
IMAGES BY ISTOCKPHOTO: INSOMNIA BY 4FR // SUITCASE BY MARK APLET // PARKING METER BY JAMES STEIDL // SEESAW BY TIMARBAEV
sleep soundly
FOUR-LETTER WORDS are words constructed of four letters. They are perfectly good, usually innocent words. Some four-letter words come with baggage that weighs down their meaning. Often there is negativity, discomfort or stigma assigned to such otherwise interesting and usable words. As we reconsider these words and address them openly, perhaps we can reclaim these words for their contribution to our lives.
Hold on! Hold it. Hold out.
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Hold me. Hold that bus! Hold my hand! Hold my place? Hold your breathe! To have and to hold.
To hold to is to grasp. And grasp we do. We hold—grasp— possess friendships, money, titles, promotions, reputation believing these elements further define our identity. Who are we without them? Such holding isn’t pretty. Sometimes it’s selfish. In other moments—just being honest here—it’s downright pointless. But we learn to hold in this way from an early age. Mine! More honesty: Do we even want what we’re clutching at? What do we plan to do with it when we get it?
four-letter word
Mindful holding begins with honest questions. What are you holding that you long to let go of? What’s holding you back? Who do you long to hold? Where do you need to stop giving in and instead, hold, for God, for a friend, for yourself? If you can’t answer these questions, it just may be to sit and think. And then sit and think some more. To hold is also to bear or support. Who holds you? Who bears the weight of your world, the constancy of your burdens? Do they know how much you appreciate them? Who “pillars” the planks of your fears? How long has it been since you’ve thanked them? Who do you hold, bear, support? How can you bear their concerns more fully? Are there people you are supporting who no longer require your support? Sometimes holding becomes unhealthy enabling. Letting go is often necessary after you’ve been holding something. The longer you’ve held, the harder it may be. Hold also means to set aside or retain. That’s what God does with us. He sets us aside as his people. He retains us as his own. We’ve been called according to his purpose. What’s that mean to you? How does it change who you are? Does it affect how you let God hold you…and how much of yourself you give to him to hold? Does it change what you’re holding? Should it? Life is a series of picking up and putting down. We start new projects. Experiment with new hobbies. Learn new things. We retire old clothes. Release old wounds. Relinquish rights. Hold and release. Release and hold. There’s fear in letting go. What if what we let go of doesn’t come back? What if we lose it? What will we replace it with? What will we do with empty arms? Empty hands? Empty heart? According to Ecclesiastes 3 there’s a time to tear down and a time to build. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to keep and a time to throw away. Perhaps a time to hold and a time to let go. What are you holding that’s no longer serving you or others? And what do you need to let go of? Hold that thought! n
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male box
Jim Daly is President and CEO of the international ministry Focus on the Family, host of the “Focus on the Family” radio program, and the author of Finding Home, Stronger, and the forthcoming ReFocus: Living a Life that Reflects God’s Heart (October 2012).
Life Forms Leaders By Jim Daly
When I think of great leaders, my first thought isn’t of
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CEOs or politicians—it’s of my mom. She was a leader in every sense of the word, because she had to be. My dad was an alcoholic who left when I was five, leaving mom to be the primary provider for our family. She sacrificed every ounce of time, energy and money she could muster in order to give us a decent upbringing. She succumbed to cancer four years after my dad left, when I was nine years old. But one of my most special memories goes back to the weeks just prior to her death. I remember standing beside her bed as she lay sick with cancer. She was weak, but she still managed to lift my spirits with her smile. She pushed a few dollars into my hand and asked me to go to the store to buy chrysanthemum seeds. She wanted me to plant them outside her bedroom window. All these years later, it remains a touching moment for me. I felt proud that she hadn’t made this request to any of my older brothers and sisters—only me. I planted the seeds and then, in true nine-year-old fashion, promptly forgot about them. A few short weeks later, my mother’s life came to an end. I remembered those chrysanthemums again on the day of her funeral. My siblings and I had returned home from the
service to find our stepfather emptying the house and preparing to depart. (Yes, mom had remarried—to a guy who was quite possibly a worse role model than our birth father.) He got in a taxi and left, and I never saw him again. Sitting in despair over the day’s horrible events, I suddenly remembered those chrysanthemums. I ran outside, into the dark, and around to the flowerbed beneath her window. I got down on my knees and squinted—and saw sprouts growing! I’d never planted anything before and I certainly didn’t expect to see green shoots now, but there they were. I remember thinking, “It worked! I must have planted them right!” It was an incredible confidence builder for a kid who had just become an orphan. And then it occurred to me—mom hadn’t asked me to plant those flowers for her enjoyment. She was too sick and weak at that point. The chrysanthemums were for my benefit. She surely must have known those flowers would become a reminder to me about life and new beginnings. To my young mind, it was as if she was saying, “You’re going to be ok after I’m gone, Jimmy. Spring will come.” RichMedia Even from her deathbed, she was exercisClick on the ing wise leadership. She was preparing me buttons to get more! for the day she’d be gone. She was boosting my confidence. And even though I didn’t realize it at the time, God was using her to help prepare me to embrace his grace later in my life. That’s powerful leadership. One day I’ll see her again, and thank her for her sacrificial investment in my well-being. n
An Invitation to Influence The evangelical universe seems a bit squeamish about the topics of “Women” and “Leadership” twined together in the same sentence. Throats lump, palms sweat, and everyone checks their phones. Not gonna go there. You might assume such hesitations come from men. In my experience women also bump on the concept of seeing themselves as leaders. Both genders seem more open to the concept of influence. I’m not sure there is a difference. From the innermost concentric circles of her life as she holds a baby or manages a home or gathers friends for an evening or teaches a class or runs a department or casts her vote… women naturally and intrinsically influence. They shape the lives of those around them. They point out the best direction and head off down the journey of life beckoning others to follow. Through investing such influence, they lead. Can we get more comfortable with this reality? In both the church and the parachurch, Woman peers at the platform, down the halls, over cubicle walls and around the shaping of the mission and sees very little in the way of female role models. She scours the perimeters for an entrance into circles of influence and all too often finds doors shut, locked and double-bolted. Edging back from the lack of examples, she concludes what she has feared: she is not, after all a leader. No woman is. Surely, if she were,
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God would have opened a door and brought her through? Fear holds Woman in place, feet glued, heart doubting, soul shirking. Fear that theology prohibits her voice. Trepidation that her inclusion may dis-include men. Lack of training ties her tongue. Inexperience freezes her ideas. Insecurity relinquishes ground to humans seemingly more qualified due to their maleness. But the great truth of God’s created world is that he made us in his image: male and female. And it will take both men and women, fully committed to living out our influence, to accomplish God’s kingdom purposes on this planet. Whatever your theological or cultural position on “the role of women,” there is too much to be done in this world to leave women out of the doing. God has created each and all of us to accomplish his purposes in this world and he openhandedly extends to each of us an invitation to involvement. Be clear that this opportunity is not for women to the exclusion of men but rather for the inclusion of us all. God is inviting women everywhere: you and me, our mothers and our daughters, our neighbors and coworkers and fellow pew sitters to invest who we are and how he has gifted us in the world around us in order to accomplish his desires. He is calling us to recognize, utilize, maximize and mobilize all he has placed in us to take his purposes further and farther. Whatever you call it—leadership or influence—it’s time to slide open the envelope and more importantly—to RSVP yes!
Elisa Morgan PUBLISHER
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thanksgiving
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