Forge Press Issue 10 by Forge Press

Varsity drawn as crowd violence mars final day 16 page special pullout inside The independent student newspaper of the University of Sheffield // www.forgetoday.com

Thursday April 2 2009 // Issue 10

Investigation into soldiers’ sexual exploits in magazine The Sheffield University Officer Training Corps has been embroiled in controversy after a sexually explicit magazine, written by and featuring trainee officers, came to light. An army investigation has been launched into Slag Mag, which includes details of sexual relationships between trainee officers and alludes to depraved sexual acts alleged to have taken place while the Officer Training Corps (OTC) programme was being funded with public money. The current issue of the magazine, obtained by Forge Press, is headed as “issue 33 - the ‘censored’ edition”. It details the activities of cadets during summer camp training in 2008, up until a ski trip which took place in January this year. It also boasts the return of “The ‘F’ League”; a point scoring ‘game’ whereby certain sexual activities are graded and the winner is “the person who has the most confirmed points by summer camp.”

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 The table is split into two columns, with one listing the activity and one documenting the points awarded for completion. A French kiss receives one point, fellatio is given three points, and fornication is given four points. The game also states: “points are doubled for activities which occur in the field”. Any “F” on the roof of the Somme Barracks results in a tripling of points, though “shagging a PSI (permanent staff instructor)” incurs a four point deduction. The publication has been reported to the Ministry of Defence and a full investigation will now be undertaken at the Sheffield OTC. Commanding Officer of Sheffield University Officer Training Corps, Lieutenant Colonel Peter Balls, said: “Any behaviour that damages trust, degrades individuals, or brings the army into disrepute will not be tolerated and the

commanding officer of Sheffield University OTC is now conducting a full investigation.” A dot-to-dot style diagram is also featured in the magazine, including the names of members of the OTC. Readers are encouraged to “join up people who have shagged in the past six months.” The document includes anecdotes of events throughout the year. For legal reasons all names have been withheld by Forge Press. In a section labelled “Freshers’ onwards…” it states: “Soldier A made a bee line for the visiting para PTI, who having returned from ‘dressing’ Soldier B’s feet back at his room, took Soldier C back, and the only dressing done this time was in the morning. “It wasn’t just the training team going at it either, B Company were getting involved too - Soldier D and Soldier E stuck two fingers up to privacy and did things their way. “It has recently been discovered that Soldier F is no longer the real Andy Stitzer. Contrary to popular belief, it was NOT with his current girlfriend, Soldier G, but instead with WOCdt. Soldier H taking one for the team.” It continues: “Soldier I and Soldier J liked each other at the beginning of the year, until Soldier I decided Soldier K was a better alternative, unfortunately, his subconscious disagreed and he went all Alan Carr’s wrist on her and then asked her to leave…” Sheffield University OTC recruits 150 cadets from both the University of Sheffield and Sheffield Hallam University each September. The army states that the primary aim of the University Officer Training Corps is to: “[provide] a practical link between the army and Universities”. Officer Cadets get paid between £35 and £57 per day by the Army. This includes recruitment days and weekends away. Continued on page 4

Inside...

By Martha Kelner

An MOD investigation has been launched into the publication of Slag Mag by Sheffield OTC.

Photo: Marek Allen

Fuse.

Travel

Features

Crowe, Luhrmann, Almodovar, Scorsese, Gilliam, Boyle

The personal rewards of spending summer working abroad

The Liberal Democrat leader speaks to Forge Press

Film directors

Fuse pages 2-3

Camp America

Page 27

Nick Clegg

Pages 20-21

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

NEWS UNIVERSITY

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Ciaran Jones

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Former VC Boucher dies at 69 By Mark Duell A former University ViceChancellor who was presented with an honorary doctorate just two months ago has died aged 69. Professor Bob Boucher spent 25 years in the University’s Department of Mechanical Engineering and was presented with an honorary Doctorate of Engineering in January. He gained an international reputation for his pioneering work on the measurement and control of liquids and gases in a wide variety of environments, ranging from blood to crude oil and radioactive materials. The current Vice-Chancellor, Professor Keith Burnett, said: “Bob Boucher made a great impact, both in his personal research and as a leader in Higher Education. “He will be terribly missed by his colleagues at Sheffield.” Professor Boucher was born in Wembley and attended St. Ignatius College, before moving to Northampton College and then to Borough Polytechnic. He soon moved on to the University of Nottingham for post-doctoral research, and then to Queen’s University in Belfast. The first of 140 research papers he wrote was published when he was an undergraduate, and he began his long association with Sheffield in 1970. By the early 1990s his department was in the top tier of UK Mechanical Engineering departments for both teaching and research. In 1992 he was appointed a ProVice-Chancellor in Sheffield, first for academic affairs and then for research. He was made Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology within three years. He succeeded Gareth Roberts as Vice-Chancellor at Sheffield in 2001, and put together a programme of building projects for the departments of Art, Music, Dentistry and Social Sciences. He was also responsible for the building of the Information Commons and University Health Centre, as well as the £160million accommodation development on the Endcliffe and Ranmoor sites. He is also the recipient of an honorary doctorate from the State University of New York and the Felber Medal of the Czech Technical University. Professor Geoff Tomlinson,

Boucher received an honorary doctorate in January. (Inset) The University flag flew at half mast after his death. Pro-Vice-Chancellor for Research and a personal friend, said: “Everyone that knew and worked with Bob found him to be a very understanding and thoughtful individual who took a lot of interest in people. “He had an incredibly warm and friendly approach, however

difficult the situation, and always gave the impression of being a very happy individual. “Bob was still working with me and the University right up until his death in a very proactive manner. This is not only the loss of a man of high integrity, but also a close personal friend.”

Boucher retired as ViceChancellor in 2007 and became Deputy Lieutenant for South Yorkshire and chairman of the Sheffield Museums and Galleries Trust. He was also a National Portrait Gallery trustee and a senior adviser on the development of higher education in Singapore.

Successful RAG Week raises £3,000 for charity By Leanne Rinne RAG Week raised more than £3,000 this year to support 45 different local and international charities. The student Raising and Giving organisation hosted a week packed with fundraising and activities to support charities such as Sheffield RSPCA, the Anthony Nolan Trust, and World Vision. On Monday, March 16, Mechanical Engineering and History students came head to head in the ‘University Challenged’ contest. More than 100 students turned out in support to see the Mechanical Engineers crowned the most knowledgeable team. The fundraising continued

throughout Monday night when over 200 students stormed down West Street as part of the RAG Pirate Bar Crawl. The fun was still kept alive on Tuesday for St. Patrick’s Day, when RAG students created a spectacular mascot collection on the concourse, featuring the Nightline Penguin and Roary, alongside ‘Sweets and Treats’. ‘Animal Day’ on Wednesday was full of more games and prizes, while Thursday was ‘Challenge Day,’ which saw Halifax Halls Rugby host a penalty shoot-out on the concourse. Also on Thursday, STOP, an organisation which tries to prevent trafficking in the UK, challenged themselves to a 24hour silence, while participants from the World Vision charity

held a 24-hour sponsored fast. The end of the week finished on a ‘Pink’ theme, with cheerleading and BiteBack eating disorder awareness on the concourse, followed by the Pink Space RAG night at the Union. RAG Chair Marcus Hyett said: “Everything went to plan - there were a few cancellations here and there, but people who had not been scheduled to help were always willing to step in. “There was a group of first year students who had not been involved before but wanted to help out by putting on a bake sale. They made an amazing contribution and raised £400 which was really unexpected. “‘University Challenged’ was a great event - both teams, including the lecturers, got really

into it. They all went out for a meal together that night which was great because they got a chance to meet new people.” Activities Officer Matt Fox said: “Hundreds of people got involved by buying cakes, giving to collections, going to watch ‘University Challenged’, and having their faces painted for St. Patrick’s Day. “For me I’d say ‘University Challenged’ was the most successful event; the atmosphere was electric. The Bar Crawl was also really well run - 20 people signed up to join the RAG organisation that night which was great. I really think that’s what RAG is about - people doing out of the ordinary events to show their support for RAG and subsequently the local community.”

Union Officers get drenched.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

UNIVERSITY NEWS

Gaza protest ends after Jessop occupied and University agreement to negotiate By David Thomas & Robert Golledge The occupation of two University buildings by a group of pro-Gaza activists has ended after nine days, following negotiations between students and University senior management. The controversial protest concluded with a rally which began on the University concourse and made its way to Jessop West, before ending at Firth Court. A group of approximately 150 people joined the march. Activists from the original Hicks occupation occupied the Exhibition Space in the new £21million Jessop West building after a week of staging the protest. The University had taken legal action against the Hicks occupiers but the activists ended their protest on Wednesday, March 27, after it was felt their demands were sufficiently met. Union group Sheffield Students Against Israel’s Attack on Gaza, who were not the occupiers, spoke to Pro-Vice-Chancellor Paul White about dealing with the situation in Gaza. A statement from the group claims that the University of Sheffield has committed to: “Provide funding to transport materials for educational establishments in Gaza and to publicise the Disasters Emergency Committee appeal for Gaza.” The group state that the University is “reconsidering its priority areas for scholarships in the light of their campaign, and [investigating whether] to support a humanitarian and educational fact-finding visit to Gaza by a student or a small group of students tasked with reporting back to the University their findings.” After the announcement of the negotiations, Frode Soreide, Chair of the Students’ Union Palestine Society, said: “I am extremely pleased to see that the University has taken its students’ concerns for the Gazan population seriously and conceded to several of the demands made by the Sheffield Students Against Israel’s attack on Gaza. “This is a clear victory for the student movement that has worked very hard for these achievements and I sincerely hope that the progress made can have a real impact on the lives of Palestinians.” A spokesperson from the University of Sheffield said: “The University welcomes what we hope will be a permanent conclusion to the illegal occupation of University buildings by protesters.

Gaza protesters marched from the concourse to the second occupation at Jessop West before ending at Firth Court. “While the University was not willing to enter discussions with an unrepresentative group occupying University property, significant time and effort has been expended by the University in considering the views of students and genuinely representative student societies on the subject of Gaza. “The views, wishes and experience of students of all backgrounds are being considered, and the University has already outlined a range of practical measures it will take in relation to conflict in Gaza which are in line with our core educational values

Sheffield occupation timeline Monday, March 16, 7.15pm Students occupy lecture theatres five and six in the Hicks Building following a meeting. Tuesday, March 17 Union of Students condemns the occupation. Monday, March 23, 4pm Occupation of Jessop West Exhibition Space begins. Wednesday, March 25 Representatives of the Islamic Circle, Palestine Society, and the Black Students’ Committee meet with Pro-Vice-Chancellor Paul White. March to Firth Court attracts 150 supporters. Occupation ends.

and mission. “All our activities must, of course, take place within the context of our values of mutual respect for people of all backgrounds. “For this reason, over the coming months the University will seek to work with the Union and societies from all sides to enhance dialogue and to understand the perspectives of those from differing countries or faith communities.” Despite the occupiers and proGaza groups claiming success for their campaign, critics have pointed to the fact that the University has spent over £40,000 in legal and extra security costs during the occupation approximately the cost of five scholarships. A student, who wishes to remain anonymous, said: “It is ridiculous that the protesters fail to see the irony that because of the occupation the University had to spend the equivalent of five scholarships. “The occupiers could have spent time fundraising on the concourse and they would have had plenty of support. Instead they seem more intent on being anarchists.” Just two days prior to the announcement of negotiations, the protest had seemingly escalated when a small group of those who had occupied part of the Hicks Building started an occupation of the Exhibition Space in Jessop

West. The protesters said they spread to the Jessop West building after failed attempts to negotiate with the University and after security were instructed to prevent people joining the occupation.

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to press.letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 Eventually lecture theatres five and six in the Hicks Building were abandoned and a large contingent occupied the Jessop site. The occupiers said they picked the Jessop development as it epitomised the University’s priority to build award-winning buildings instead of thinking about teaching and learning space. In response to the Jessop West occupation, the Vice Chancellor’s office issued a statement to all University students by e-mail, condemning the actions of the protestors. It said: “The Vice-Chancellor was dismayed to learn that the illegal occupation of the Hick’s Building had extended into

Photos: Adam Harley the Jessop West Building. This causes further disruption to our staff and students and is frankly unacceptable.” After the climax of the protest one of the occupiers said: “We’ve now ended our protest as we have made some sort of progress with the University. It goes to show that if students want to be taken seriously by their universities they have to be willing to take action themselves. “Across the country universities have ignored calls for action until students have occupied spaces. “It seems we have now had a level of success but the University should be careful about keeping its promises because if they don’t we’re willing to act again.” After occupying the Hicks Building on Monday, March 16, the occupiers issued a list of demands to the University which included setting up scholarships for Palestinian students and setting up a link with Gaza University. The University said that while the Hicks lecture theatres were occupied they had to reallocate the lectures of more than 1,000 students each day. Throughout the occupation the occupiers claimed that it was not their intention to disrupt lectures, but that they welcomed students and staff to use the space for teaching sessions.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

NEWS UNIVERSITY

Watson hits out at fee rise By Andrew Webster

University vice-chancellors should not place the burden of debt on students because their institutions are under-funded, according to the Union’s Education Officer. Rebecca Watson’s comments came in response to a BBC survey that showed over half of university heads want students to pay at least £5,000 per year, or for the cap on fees to be removed. Watson said the current position is undesirable and the Government could afford to fund education if they changed their funding priorities. She said: “Students are being forced into part-time work which has been conclusively shown to have a detrimental effect on their studies and eventual degree classification.” The Union adopted a ‘Free Education’ policy following the support of over 3,300 students at the Union elections. They will campaign against the fee cap increasing. A report by Universities UK (UUK) predicted that were fees raised to £7,000 a year, the average student debt would be £32,000 for a three year course, compared to £17,000 under the current structure. The report also stated that such an increase would discourage students from low-income families going to university and create a market of courses with varying prices.

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to press.letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 “I am absolutely opposed to a market in education. It should be entry on ability and not money. I’m a strong believer that education is a right and not a privilege,” Watson added. The report also predicted an increase to £5,000 per year would not put students off going to university. But Sheffield students are worried about their debts. First year History student Danielle Arins said: “I try not to think about the amount of debt I will be in because I realise I will be paying it off until I’m quite old. “I think it’s contradictory that you have the government trying to get poorer people to university, but what are the figures? £7,000, £10,000? People will be too put off by that to go to uni.” Matt Taylor, a second year Economics students, said: “I think it’s outrageous at the minute. Living costs and tuition fees, for what you get, with the time you put in and the time lecturers put in, is quite high.” The National Union of Students (NUS) recently met politicians to lobby for a different funding model. NUS President Wes Streeting said: “The UUK report assumes that higher fees are inevitable, and that the shambolic current system of student support will remain in place.” The Union is taking the debate to the concourse on Thursday, April 30, by running the ‘Higher Education Day of Action’.

Law student has book published By Abi Brown A Masters student at the University of Sheffield has had his first novel published. The Aimsdon Chronicles: The Judgement Cometh, was written by International Legal Studies student Tom Maxted. Maxted, 22, began writing the novel as an 18-year-old. He said: “My work is influenced by my studies of history and religion which run as key themes throughout the book alongside war and politics.” Maxted wrote most of the novel outside of semester term time. “You could say I wrote this as a form of escapism from my studies,” he said. “I’ve not been much of a reader apart from history books so I guess I surprised myself when I decided to start writing”. After completing the book when in his third year of study, Tom then decided to undertake the long process to attempt to get it published. After writing to many different publishers, he finally found success in spring 2008 with Austin & Macauley Publishers Ltd. Tom is focusing on his studies at the present, though he is still trying to keep the sequels progressing. His second book, The Aimsdon Chronicles: Purgatory discusses immigration as a central theme. “I want to put contemporary issues to the forefront through the story,” he said. He is also planning a third book in the series, called Redemption, and a prequel which will be named Seeds of Aimsdon. His writing will always, it seems, stay subordinate to his studies and his ambition to work within the legal sector. He said: “It’s a hobby. In essence that is what it started out as, and I guess that is how it will continue”. The Aimsdon Chronicles: The Judgement Cometh is described as a sci-fi, fantasy and war novel. The author describes it as “a story of hope and despair, trust and betrayal, an adventure of learning and understanding with many twists and turns.” Time is merged, a historical future is created, and the story

International Legal Studies student Tom Maxted has had a sci-fi novel published. follows Michael and his adventure as he is given the role of saving the people of Aimsdon from its internal and external enemies. Maxted said: “It’s a bit unconventional and downright crude in some places, but I think

it works.” The book focuses on the moral and philosophical justification for the use of force and contains subtle references to the works of Sun Tzu and Machiavelli. The novel itself has a dark and

Photo: Sam Bennett

decadent style where dialogue remains vital throughout. The reader is encouraged to openly interpret the novel. “I use the story to bring many moot points to the reader’s attention,” said Maxted.

OTC subject to inquiry over magazine Continued from page 1 Under a section called “Ski Trip”, Slag Mag states: “The ski trip this year was drunken, debauched and even more depraved than usual. “Notable mentions include 2Lt. Soldier L spending most of his free time cuddled up with WOCdt Soldier M. Is this another situation where ‘nothing happened’? “Soldier N and Soldier O found love on more than one occasion, until alas, OCdt Soldier N decided he had had enough and moved on to WOCdt Soldier P whom he woke up next to one morning. “Soldier P decided she had had enough of immature OTC boys and moved on to pastures green with someone from outside OTC. Shame on you!” A joint statement from both the University of Sheffield and Sheffield Hallam University has condemned the publication. It said: “The publication which has been brought to our attention was produced independently by

a small group of students and is not in any way an official or semi-official publication of the University of Sheffield, Sheffield Hallam University, the Unions of Students, or the Sheffield University Officer Training Corps. “Both Universities, Unions and the OTC deplore any behaviour which brings their good name into disrepute, and undermines the fantastic volunteering and other work which is being done continually by the Sheffield University OTC students, including their annual fundraising campaign only this weekend to raise money for the Bluebell Wood children’s hospice.” The Sheffield University branch of the OTC has been the subject of heavy debate in recent years. A proposal to ban the OTC from the University of Sheffield Union of Students and Union events was rejected by 27 votes to 10 at a Union Council meeting last semester. The proposal was brought

A picture from Slag Mag (names have been removed). forward by Kick ’Em Off campus, an activist group which opposes the presence of the OTC on the University of Sheffield campus and has lobbied the University to deny the army the right to recruit on campus. Last year Captain James Fulton and Captain Daniel Chamings, senior figures at the Sheffield OTC, were sacked and fined for

supplying and possessing cocaine. Both mentored student cadets. The East Midlands OTC found themselves the subject of media debate in January when photographs were published online showing trainee army officers dressed as Osama Bin Laden, a member of the Ku Klux Klan, and as a mother who had recently had an abortion.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

UNIVERSITY NEWS

Hurst claims victory on accommodation costs as ACS play down protests By André Nunn Union President Dave Hurst says a recent campaign to slash accommodation fees will save next year’s students more than £200,000 in total. But the University claim that the 2009/10 rents are only lower than originally agreed due to changes in the Retail Price Index (RPI) inflation forecasts. Hurst led action last December to drive down the rising costs of living in University accommodation. After demonstrating outside Firth Court and handing a petition containing over 1,000 signatures to the Vice-Chancellor, the agreed rents were sent back for last-minute renegotiation. But the University say that the changes were actually because RPI forecasts fell from three per cent to under one per cent in December. Each student will pay slightly less next year, saving an estimated £30 to £40 each, totalling £200,000 savings for those living in halls of residence. Hurst said: “Although the price increases are still unacceptable, this is a substantial cut in what was intended to be charged, and would certainly not have been achieved without the campaign. “This is not as high as we would have wanted, but it is something that has not been achieved in recent years.” But Ian Jones, General Manager of Residential Services, said: “Rents for 2009/10 for Catalyst accommodation, who own over 4,000 of the University’s bedrooms, including the new apartments in the Endcliffe Village, are lower than originally agreed. “This reduction in rents was a result of the recent changes in the RPI forecasts, rather than as a result of actions by the Students’ Union.” A full review has been undertaken of the Residences Strategy, the objectives Accommodation and Campus Services (ACS) have in place to ensure acceptable accommodation for University of Sheffield students. According to Hurst, this is something which

Photo: Adam Harley

Union President Dave Hurst at The Edge in the Endcliffe Village. has never happened before and means students will have much more say in their accommodation. He said: “From now on results from the ACS survey and Student Satisfaction Surveys will have to be listened to, and will be fed into the strategy, and not just in the short term. “This campaign has ensured students have their say - while it is

nice to have plush accommodation, people should have the choice.” Jones added: “ACS successfully proposed to Catalyst that rents be reduced to reflect this [RPI] change. We are pleased that we can continue to offer students great value accommodation. “We will always keep increases in rents to a minimum and will continue to base future increases

on inflation and RPI forecasts other than where we have made improvements to our services and facilities.” Hurst claims that before the action was taken the University came bottom in the country for accommodation satisfaction, as measured by the International Student Barometer (an independent survey of

international students). Hurst said: “Because of our campaign, ACS are being reined in by the University and the Union whereas before they were doing what the hell they liked. The Unaffordable University Accommodation report, which was used to lobby for lower prices, can be downloaded from the Union website.

Low cost gender-neutral toilets given go ahead By Emily Cresswell Gender-neutral toilets will be trialled in all disabled toilets during the daytime from Easter until the end of term. Toilet facilities during evenings and nights out will continue as before, with separate male and female services. Union Council representatives met last week to discuss the plans to convert all disabled toilets to gender-neutral facilities during daylight hours, and to allow the male toilets in the Union Auditorium to be used in the same way at night. However, Councillor for Black students Yusuf Ghumra opposed the plans, saying that they would inconvenience Muslim students who use the male toilets in the Auditorium to wash before they pray in the nearby Muslim prayer room. In response to this opposition,

the plans were adapted, with Union Finance Officer Alex Pott agreeing to continue the search for suitable accessible evening facilities. The current plan is to allow all disabled toilets to be used by all students during the day.

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 The conversion of the toilets themselves will be a simple operation, largely consisting of changing the signs on the doors to one denoting both genders. However, the plans to create gender-neutral facilities are

unlikely to cost anything near the previously rumoured figure of £10,000. The Lesbian, Gay Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Committee does not know where this figure arose from, and insists that such an excessive figure is preposterous. In fact, the cost is estimated by the LGBT to be closer to only £50. Many students are concerned that more people would be made uncomfortable by the presence of gender-neutral toilets than would be happy about their introduction. Concerns have also been raised that people who are uncomfortable with gender-neutral toilets may have to walk further in order to find a gendered toilet if one of the more frequently used toilet blocks was renovated. An LGBT spokesperson said that due to the proposed locations of the gender-neutral facilities, the refurbishments would not

Disabled toilets will be used in trial.

cause inconvenience to students who feel uncomfortable about these toilets, nor would they affect students who do not want to use them. There will be no obligation to use these toilets, as other facilities will still be available. The issue of gender-neutral toilets was discussed as part of the LGBT campaign week, which ran from Monday, March 30, until today, to raise awareness of issues faced by transgender people in this University and elsewhere. The campaign week featured a workshop on Wednesday, led by the NUS transgender representative Harri ColeWeeks, exploring issues facing transgender students. In addition to this, there was a stall in the Union Reception to answer questions and provide information, and the committee handed out gender-neutral gingerbread people.

NEWS UNIVERSITY

Endcliffe village up for award By Samuel Valdes Lopez

The Endcliffe student village has been nominated for a residential award by the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors (RICS). The Residential Award category in the Pro Yorkshire Awards is to recognise ‘inspirational initiatives and developments in land, property, construction and the environment’, according to the RICS website. But many surrounding neighbours do not share the same enthusiasm for the University accommodation. The Broomhill Action and Neighbourhood Group compiled 19 noise complaints regarding Endcliffe during a meeting in January, with 27 complaints from surrounding areas. There were various noise pollution problems from the construction site in 2008, and affected students at Endcliffe Vale Flats were offered £50 compensation. Machinery working as early as 7.30am became a nuisance to people living in the houses at 28 and 30 Endcliffe Crescent. Jacqui Cameron, Head of Conference Sales and Marketing at the University’s Accommodation and Campus Services, said: “We are proud of the Endcliffe Village and our recent survey results showed that students are more satisfied than before with their accommodation. “We’re thrilled that the Endcliffe Village has been shortlisted for the award and look forward to the announcement of the winner.” Other nominees include Sheffield City Hall (Building Conservation Award), Sharrow Infant and Junior High School (Community Benefit award) and the University of Sheffield’s Information Commons (Design and Innovation Award). Colin Harrop, Chairman of the RICS regional board, said: “All four of the projects shortlisted in South Yorkshire are a credit to the region, and illustrate the important, skilful work that chartered surveyors and property professionals in the area have completed”. The awards ceremony will be held next month in Leeds.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

Paid internship prize on offer in student Apprentice competition By Andrew Webster A competition based on Sir Alan Sugar’s hit television show, The Apprentice, has been set up by a final-year student, with an eight-week paid internship up for grabs. In the first round, 90 contestants competed at a flea market on the West One concourse at the top of Division Street in Sheffield. Teams of five were given £15 to buy things to sell at the market on the afternoon of Wednesday, April 1. The teams with the most profit went through to the next round, with all proceeds going to Comic Relief. Competition founder Helen Gammons said it was a chance for students to be assessed on what they could do in a business scenario rather than on the content of their CVs. For the successful contestants, there will be four more rounds after Easter. But like The Apprentice, progression will be tough. Former Apprentice contestant Jenny Celerie is playing the Sir Alan Sugar role by chairing a panel of judges made up of local business people. The top prize is an internship with Royal Mail. There are also cash prizes for the winners of each round and the chance for the runner-up to spend 10 days shadowing Dragons’ Den entrepreneur, Rachel Elnaugh. Ms. Elnaugh rose to success as founder of Red Letter Days, a company that specialised in ‘experience gifts’ like aircraft flying and motor racing. Gammons, who studies Accounting, Financial and Business Management, thought up the competition after struggling to find an internship before her second year. “I didn’t excel in my first year grades,” she said. “But I didn’t feel this was an accurate representation of what I could do in a business sense, so I wanted to set up a competition that would select candidates on their day-today business skills.” She took the idea forward after joining the Students In Free Enterprise society (SIFE) at the start of her final year.

Students with their stall at the West One complex. With the support of SIFE and the Enterprise Zone she was able to get the competition off the ground with sponsorship from Royal Mail and Yorkshire Graduates.

The experience has helped Gammons develop her business skills too. “I pretty much landed my graduate job because of the project,” she said.

Photo: Tom Walker Results will be announced after each round in Lava Lounge on West Street, and videos of the day’s events will be played in the Union.

Lecturer advises wild sex for couples wanting babies By Michael Hunter A University lecturer has appeared on national television to encourage couples who want a baby to indulge in wild and energetic sex. Dr. Allan Pacey, a senior lecturer in Andrology, featured in a Channel 4 documentary about fertility last month. The Great Sperm Race was aired in a prime time slot at 9pm on Monday, March 23, and attracted around 1.4million viewers, an audience share of 5.9 per cent. Dr. Pacey, who is also secretary of the British Fertility Society, told viewers that the best way to conceive is to enjoy uninhibited sex reminiscent of their early days together. He said: “Couples who are trying to have a baby often mention that the sex becomes a bit of a chore, a bit mechanical and routine.

“That’s the wrong thing to be doing. The sex should be as wild and thrilling as it was when they first met, when they weren’t thinking about babies, to give them the maximum possible chance of having a baby.”

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to press.letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 Women having a greater number of orgasms will benefit from enhanced fertility, according to Dr. Pacey. He explained: “When a woman experiences an orgasm, we think the intensity of the muscular

contractions she has during the big pressure changes going on in her body helps to pull or suck up the sperm into her cervix and from there into the uterus.” Men can produce an extra 25million sperm on top of the average 250million if they are fully stimulated before ejaculation, according to the sperm expert. The doctor, who has been a member of University staff since 1992, added that the sperm which are released are of a higher standard, making it more likely that one of them will fuse with the egg. The findings may finally spell an end to couples embracing longstanding ‘tricks’ such as fertility journals and special diets. Previous research into sperm count appears to back up Dr. Pacey’s claims. The one-off documentary, which dramatised the journey

undertaken by millions of sperm towards the egg, unearthed other quirky fertility facts. Danish scientists who conducted studies into the fertility of female pigs showed that when the animals were stimulated sexually by having a farmer on the sow’s back there was a six per cent increase found in its readiness to bear. “Having a farmer on the pig’s back is low-tech and unsexy but it seems to work,” added Dr. Pacey. It was also revealed that men who watch pornography before ejaculation produce larger amounts of sperm. The research also suggests lap dancers are believed to earn more money at their most fertile times of the month. Dr. Pacey has also spoken in the past about IVF for women aged over 50 and why it is that women suffer from the menopause.

Andrology lecturer Dr. Allan Pacey.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

UNIVERSITY NEWS

Complaints over St. Patrick’s Day dwarves

Dwarves were employed by Embrace on St. Patrick’s Day and dressed up as leprechauns, then hanged from the ceiling in cages (inset). By Michael Hunter Sheffield nightclub Embrace has sparked controversy after two dwarves were dressed up as leprechauns and put in cages as part of last month’s St. Patrick’s Day festivities. The ‘leprechauns’ were then suspended high in the air as shocked revellers looked on from below on the dance floor. The show, which took place on Tuesday, March 17, lasted for around 45 minutes and also involved the dwarves throwing gold coins into the crowd. Second year Journalism student

Lydia Fallon, who was at the club, said: “The two dwarves were put into a cage and then raised above the dance floor as if they were some kind of freak show. “They were just hanging there for nearly an hour and I thought it was really irresponsible of Embrace. “It felt like they were exploiting them, even if they were getting paid for it, and I left the club pretty angry.” The Sheffield Irish Association (SIA) has added its weight to the argument, saying the leprechaun stereotype is “unhelpful” and “offensive” to some.

Kevin Meagher, of SIA, said: “I did see some sort of fruity advert for what they were planning to do on St. Patrick’s night and the mind did boggle but I wasn’t hugely surprised. “We, as an organisation, speak authoritatively for the Irish in Sheffield, and I suppose some members of our group world roll their eyes at the shenanigans which are in that respect unhelpful. “Some people would be offended at the stereotypes, but organisations that represent small people would probably be even more offended than we might be.”

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 But Meagher, whose organisation represents the Irish community in the city, recognised that Embrace has its own agenda. “At the end of the day they are a nightclub and I understand they

Photos: Tom Walker & Lydia Fallon need to fill the place, but there are people from our organisation who’d bristle at the thought of suspended small people throwing gold coins around. “I wouldn’t want to make too much of it as an issue although it has done very little to broaden real Irish culture.” The nightclub’s owners, Brook Leisure, declined to comment on the issue, and Embrace manager Bill Surtees did not return telephone calls. The city centre nightclub on Carver Street is a popular venue amongst students, with club nights held on most weekdays.

Censure of Women’s Officer fails at Union Council By Robert Golledge Union Council overwhelmingly rejected a bid to censure Women’s Officer Fiona Edwards last week. A vote was taken after claims that she was using her position in participation outside her Officer portfolio. Union Councillors voted 24 to seven in support of Edwards, defeating the proposal of a censure. The motion was brought by Law Councillor Amanda Hastings. Hastings’ proposal said students had become concerned that Edwards had used her Union email address on a poster advertising a Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND)

Activists day, entitled ‘Students for Peace and Justice’. The event discussed kicking the military and arms trade off campus. The University implemented a security presence outside Union Council and forbade observers from entering due to fears an occupation could take place after the recent Hicks and Jessop protests. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Councillor Adam Hood and Sports Officer Ella White spoke in favour of censuring Edwards. Hood said whilst Council could point to many good things Fiona had done, she had also been using her position to work to her own political agendas. White said: “It is within her duty

of care as an Officer to know this would have been a controversial thing to do.” In favour of Edwards, Gareth Nicholas, Mature Students’ Councillor, said that by censuring her, Council would be censuring itself as it had previously authorised her to run the event. Black Students’ Officer Yusuf Ghumra said: “I celebrate when Officers campaign on issues. This year Fiona has done great things to help Muslim women and continues to help black students.” Edwards said: “In my report to Council I stated I was going to run this event and nobody raised any issues. All this event was doing was to bring these issues up to debate. I should be commended.”

Edwards at a protest last year.

Photo: Sam Bennett

NEWS UNIVERSITY

Cauldwall flies into plane heats

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

Students launch science journal

By Kirsty McEwen The Goodwin Sports Centre was full of paper planes on Friday as Red Bull brought their ‘Paper Wings’ competition to Sheffield. Winner David Cauldwall, who will now attend the London heats, threw a distance of 21.5 metres, which had an airtime of 3.1 seconds and received a score of 27. The event was judged by three people: Simon Peach and Tim Knappett, from Forge Radio, and first team football captain Tom Macleod. Twelve UK universities are taking part in the ‘qualiflyers’ in the hope of winning the chance to represent Great Britain at the finals in Austria. One winner from each category - longest distance, longest airtime, and aerobatics - will represent Team GB. The organisers, Journalism students Chris Walker and Chris Anstey, put on events like this at the University as part of their work as Red Bull Student Brand Managers. They said: “The final will take place in London after the Easter holidays, where the top three students will become part of the Red Bull GB team. “The World Final will be held in the Red Bull Hangar Seven, a huge glass hangar in Salzburg, Austria, between May 1, and May 2. “We’ve had 71 people turn up today - although we haven’t threatened the world record [for distance or airtime], we think it’s gone pretty well and people have had fun. “It’s something different to do on campus, a change from normal sports.” Aerospace Materials student Joven Lin said: “A friend invited me today so I thought I’d have a go. “I thought it would be really easy to make a plane but it’s actually been quite hard.” The World Championships of Paper Plane Flying have been running for three years so far, offering students the chance to make their own spectacular flying machines. Eighty-five other countries will be attending the Austrian final. The longest flight recorded stands at 63.19 metres.

James Lloyd and Grant Price, editors of The Protocol journal. By Amris Kaur A group of science students are launching their own scientific journal called The Protocol. Grant Price, a second year Molecular Biology and Biotechnology (MMB) student and Editor of The Protocol, thought of the idea in December along with James Lloyd, a second year Chemistry student, who is Deputy Editor. They have set up the journal to increase interest and understanding in science and

scientific research across the University. After advertising in lectures and putting posters around the Science departments, around 10 committee members and 30 writers have been gathered. Price wants the journal to aim to focus on covering staff and PhD research within the University. He said science can seem inaccessible, especially to nonScience students: “I think people are deterred by the in-depth detail and almost ‘nerdiness’, but when it is done the right way it can be exciting and important.

Photo: Sam Bennett “A lot of our society is propped up by science. I think the whole point of this is to help people engage with science more. “Many people are already engaged with science without realising it - people have opinions on issues such as abortion, for instance, and a lot of stories in the news are based on science.” With this in mind, The Protocol will aim to reach a wide base of students. “We can appeal to Arts students as well as Science students. The topics we’ll be discussing will be of interest to everybody, and even

though the Science students will benefit more and understand the terms we’re using, the journal could still be of interest to Arts students,” added Price. He adds that there is currently a lot of material that can be covered by the science journal that is not being written about, from University research to different types of news.” The Protocol hope to have their first journal printed before the end of this academic year, and encourage Science and Arts students alike to approach them if they would like to write.

Volunteering award for dedicated Sheffield team By Amy Taylor SheffieldVolunteering has been presented with a High Sheriff Award in recognition of its positive impact on the local community. The High Sheriff Award rewards outstanding contributions by groups, individuals or organisations for work in the community. Based in the University of Sheffield’s Union of Students, SheffieldVolunteering works with over 1,200 recruits who help to support 126 local projects. Volunteers from the University work with the homeless, refugees, the elderly, young people, and those dealing with disabilities, learning difficulties or disadvantaged circumstances. SheffieldVolunteering launched

a number of new projects this year, including the Energise project, which provides health and fitness opportunities to Muslim women, and the Flourish project, providing therapeutic activities such as art, cookery and gardening to individuals who have suffered head injuries. The award was presented to the University on Monday, March 30, by the High Sheriff of South Yorkshire, Mr. Giles Bloomer OBE. The post dates back at least 1,000 years to the Saxon era, and is the oldest secular office under the Crown. He said: “To learn that over 1,200 students were participating in regular voluntary activities across South Yorkshire was most encouraging. “This programme is clearly

a true ‘win-win’ initiative, producing tangible benefits for both dozens of community projects and hundreds of student volunteers. “In recognition of both the quality and size of the programme I am delighted to be able to present this award.” SheffieldVolunteering manager, Stella McHugh, was delighted with the award. She said: “Our team of staff and student volunteers play an important role in providing services to all sections of our community. “They are dedicated to the work they do across the city and, without them, many initiatives would not be possible. It’s great to see that their enthusiasm and commitment has been acknowledged through this

award.” The award follows a stream of success for the SheffieldVolunteering team, after being recognised in December last year as Volunteering Team of the Year at the Higher Education Volunteering Awards. The win was the sixth time that the Sheffield team had been acknowledged at this national event. Katie Smith, a member of the Volunteering Committee, said: “Being part of SheffieldVolunteering has definitely been a worthwhile experience for me. “I have taken so much from these projects, but also feel like I’ve given so much back to the community I have lived in for the last three years.”

The High Sheriff awards students.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

‘Beehole building’ opens doors to leading insect research

Cases of mumps on the rise By Mark Duell

By David Thomas A new £4.4million University building looks set to create a buzz on campus. The state-of-the-art Arthur Willis Environment Centre has been nicknamed ‘the Beehole Building’ because it has been designed with features that allow bees from nearby hives to fly into and out of its walls. The bees will be among a group of social insects and plants to be studied by research teams at the facility. It includes a 650 metre-square greenhouse designed with environmentally friendly features such as an underground heat retention tank and electronic blinds on the roof to limit light pollution to nearby houses. Laboratory Superintendent Darren Rose explained that although there had been some opposition from neighbours to the development, there had been no complaints since the building was handed over to the University in January. “The building puts us at the forefront of research. I think we’ve stepped in front of other universities,” he said. The facility is located off Northumberland Road, close to the University’s Goodwin Sports Centre. The condition of the land prior to the development was far from ideal. Rose admits that the site, allocated to the Department of Animal and Plant Sciences by the University, was “atrocious”. Nine metres of material had to be sunk into the ground to support the new building, as well as a layer of concrete. Steve Ellin, Site Manager at Tapton Experimental Gardens, said the Department was thrilled with the results. He said: “We’re very pleased, the contractors have done an excellent job.” The centre includes modern laboratories, IT facilities, and temperature controlled rooms. The rooms also have the ability to simulate dusk and dawn. A green roof has also been installed with the ability to retain rainwater, and the biodiversity

UNIVERSITY NEWS

Specimens of bees can be studied. (Inset) One of the holes in the wall to let the bees in. Photo: Jonathan Jackson of the site’s woodland is to be encouraged by the growth of oak trees. Specimens from the Department of Animal and Plant Sciences’ extensive collections are being relocated to the new building for study by University research

teams. The unusual challenge of designing a building suitable for insects and humans alike fell to Bond Bryan Architects. Project architect Matt Hutton said: “Usually we are required to keep animals out of the building,

not let them in.” There are however, a couple of exceptions. A three-metre high electric security fence has been erected around the site to keep out marauding squirrels, and humans keen on stealing the facility’s valuable day-glow lamps.

There has been a surge in the Sheffield mumps outbreak over the past few weeks, with the University of Sheffield Health Service reporting 75 cases amongst students by last Monday. The virus causes headaches, fever, and swelling of the parotid glands, which are located in front of the ears. Dr. Rosie McNaught, Consultant in Communicable Disease Control at the South Yorkshire Health Protection Unit, has been dealing with the outbreak. “The numbers in the first quarter of this year are at least four to five times what we saw last year. It’s gone through three distinct sections of the community,” she said. Dr. McNaught explained that the outbreak began in January amongst non-students, before spreading to students at Sheffield Hallam University in February, and then to University of Sheffield students last month. Mumps is usually spread between people through coughs and sneezes, although it can be transferred by saliva. The University warns new students before to check if they have had MMR (Mumps, Measles and Rubella) vaccines they arrive in Sheffield. But Dr. McNaught said: “We have had mumps cases in students who have had two MMRs because in the second MMR vaccine the mumps component is the least effective of the three components; there is still a 10 per cent chance they could get mumps. “The usual symptom of mumps is that you feel generally unwell and then will look at the mirror, think you don’t look like normal and see a swelling. “Don’t kiss people and don’t spray too many people with your respiratory secretion.” The University Health Service advises those infected to stay at home for five days after the swollen glands appear and to keep social contact to a minimum. Welfare Officer Kathryn Axon said: “Any student concerned about mumps should visit the University Health Service and talk about getting the vaccination.”

Students celebrate diversity during World Week By Lucie Boase World Week kicked off last month with a remarkable showcase of the University’s international societies. The International Cultural Evening was hosted by the International Students’ Committee on Saturday, March 21, in the Octagon, including performances from over 15 international societies and a World Fashion Show. The night was aimed at promoting cultural awareness and celebrating the rich diversity brought to the University community by international students. Last year, the night won the Golden Socs Award for Best Union Event of the year. This year comprised of 18 acts incorporating music and dance. International Officer Sajeev

Jeganathan spoke about the importance of promoting cultural awareness with such events. He said: “This is an opportunity to showcase the diversity on offer at Sheffield and to make friends from around the world.” Particularly impressive was the tight synchronisation of some of the larger groups. The Chinese Students & Scholars’ Association (CSSA), dressed in identical flowing pink and white outfits and sparkling headdresses, performed an elegant classic Chinese dance of the ‘Peace Pixies’. The Pakistani Society (PakSoc) chose to portray a classic love story using elements of drama and dance. The East Africa Society’s act reflected the cultural diversity of the area. Vice President of the society, Anne Muigai, said: “East Africa is very open to other

cultures, and we love all kinds of music”. The performance was preceded by a poignant tribute to the society’s founder, James Muiruri, who was murdered in Kenya earlier this year.

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to press.letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 A breathtaking Global Fashion Show followed the interval, in which 10 societies showcased their national costumes on the catwalk. The evening was also punctuated with the presentation of various

Indian Society.

Photo: CJ Wong

awards for sports contests and the Food Festival. Coming out on top in several categories were the Sri Lankan and the Indian Society, with the Indian Society eventually winning the award for the Best Society Act of the night. Cheering them along their way was a boisterous audience comprised of students, staff and members of the public. The Octagon was packed and many people were forced to stand. The night was rounded off with an impromptu dance routine performed by the organisers, including hosts Davind Seesurn and Nur Ahmad, before the after-party commenced, with DJs playing international music anthems. International Officer-elect, Alex Erdlenbruch, said: “It makes me proud to be an international student here in Sheffield.”

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

LOCAL NEWS

Craftsmen and artists angry over flat conversion plans for city centre building By Natalie Bowen A labyrinth of Sheffield’s historic industry, culture and music could be lost if plans to convert Portland Works into contemporary flats are approved. Portland Co’s plan to demolish some of the former cutlery works and convert the rest into 77 flats has caused outrage in the business community. Local businesses, historic societies, and MPs are all protesting against the plans. The grade II listed building on Randall Street in Sharrow was built in the 1870s and is part of a historically industrial area of the city known as ‘Little Sheffield’.

Have your say Comment on this article at Forgetoday.com Send a letter to press.letters@forgetoday.com Text us on 07765363716 Its current tenants include musicians, artists, electric motor repairers, cabinet makers, and knife and ice skate blade manufacturers. Over a dozen small businesses work out of the building, and some have been there for more than 50 years. A protest campaign against the plans was launched earlier in the year. The national Victorian Society also protested against the scheme, saying the building was in the top six per cent of buildings of outstanding architectural and historical interest in the country. University of Sheffield Architecture graduate Julia Udall set up an online group to enable all the protesters and businesses in Portland Works to contact each other. It currently has 147 members. She said: “This is a problem throughout Sheffield; far broader than just Portland Works. It relates to the need for small,

flexible and cheap space in the city for creative and skilled industries. It isn’t just about saving this building, but about an attitude to the value of these spaces.” “I think a lot of the businesses based in the John Street triangle conservation area are exporting worldwide and have skills particular to Sheffield and its history - which everyone seems to talk about but don’t do much to develop. “It is metalwork in a historic metalwork building and importantly this is a genuine ‘mixed use’ building as opposed to all those houses with empty shops below that are supposedly ‘mixed use’ but don’t always work. “This really works. Many businesses would go bust because they can’t afford to relocate. These are people who have worked very hard for years and are totally under threat.” The redevelopment would be funded by the Townscape Heritage Initiative (THI) and Sheffield Metal Trades Heritage Economic Regeneration Scheme(HRS), a joint venture by Sheffield City Council and the Cultural Industries Quarter Agency (CIQA). They secured almost £4.5million in 2002 to reinvigorate industrial buildings in the Cultural Industries Quarter and city centre. The schemes suggested that new businesses would be encouraged to move into the buildings, but the opposite is true for Portland Works, where established businesses would be forced to move out if the plans are approved. The plans were initially rejected by city planners due to insufficient information, but protesters remain convinced that they will be resubmitted. English Heritage, which provided £276,000 towards THI, told the city council to consider the importance of surviving elements and features when approving planning applications for Portland Works, but did not object to the transformation of building use.

Electric motor repairers and ice skate blade manufacturers could lose their workplaces.

Residents oppose new Tesco By Rachel Blundy Local residents in Broomhill, Crookes and Walkey have expressed concerns at Tesco’s proposals to build another supermarket in their area. The multi-million pound chain now has six stores in Sheffield alone, providing competition for small shop owners. The proposed store would be built on the junction of Springvale Road and Commonside, potentially creating a huge increase in traffic congestion as well as limiting the number of parking spaces for local people. Planning permission for the store was denied in Autumn 2007 after residents and councillors came together to defeat Tesco’s application. Councillor for Broomhill, Paul Scriven, is maintaining his stance against Tesco’s plans. He said: “Local people can be forgiven if they feel a sense of déjà vu when they hear this news. No doubt

they will be extremely concerned. “However, I would like to assure them that local Lib Dem Councillors will be fighting against this proposal just as we did last time.” Jan Symington, from Beanies Wholefoods store in Walkley, stated: “There are already enough convenience stores on the road from the university up to Walkley, including a brand new Nisa. “The local community have expressed to us the feeling that this supermarket giant, not content with having a large store at the bottom of the hill, is trying to hoover up every other scrap of business in the area, to the detriment of that community.” The feud follows a similar dispute in February 2009, when criticisms were voiced against the supermarket chain’s plans to redevelop a disused garage on Ecclesall Road South and create a new Tesco Express. A local newsagent owner, Mr. Carroll from Parkhead, led a

campaign to stop Tesco being granted planning permission for the site by Sheffield City Council. His presentation of a petition with the signatures of 1,700 local residents is still being considered by the council as grounds for preventing the building plans. A spokesperson from the Tescopoly Alliance, a national group campaigning against Tesco expansion, said: “If Tesco’s current level of expansion continues at this pace consumers will just be faced with a choice of Tesco Express, Tesco Superstore or Tesco Extra to do their shopping. “Communities all around the country are fighting the Tesco juggernaut, but as we’re seeing in Walkley, Tesco do not give up easily. “The Government must bring in a strong planning policy which supports genuine consumer choice by offering a diverse retail environment.” Tesco Stores Ltd. were not available to comment.

Photo: Helen Munro

Google in Sheffield By Samuel Valdes Lopez Sheffield is one of 24 UK cities featured in Google’s new Street View maps service, which controversially launched last month. The free service, which allows users to take a 3D tour around various cities as if they are walking on the street, has been deemed by some groups as an invasion of privacy. Google are removing any material deemed “inappropriate”, but some authorities like Privacy International are protesting about the new service, which went online on Wednesday, March 18. Google director Eric Schmidt said: “We are getting controversy over Street View because it is so successful. It turns out that people love to see what is going on in their local community.” The maps service does blur faces and car number plates, but

there are still a few bugs. For example, some pictures join together badly and sometimes form new offensive terms, and other images disappear altogether. It features innocent photos of Sheffield landmarks such as Meadowhall and the Cathedral. However, in one photo on Upper Hannover Street, number plates have not been obscured and faces have not been blurred out on Providence Road as they should have been. The pictures were taken by specially designed Vauxhall Astras with a 360 degree camera mounted on top. These modified cars took photographs of up to 22,369 miles of road and streets. Another development is the integration of the system with Tate Museum, who collaborated with Google to show the locations used by artists like John Constable and J.M.W. Turner in their landscape paintings.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

LETTERS

Have your say Star letter: We have chosen on Nestlé boycott Dear Forge, The outcome of the Nestlé Referendum seems to have been interpreted incorrectly by some, including Alex Orton in his recent article (‘We should be able to choose on Nestlé’, page 16, Issue Eight), as being a negative decision, which maintains an unnecessary boycott and restricts our freedom of choice. Firstly, the referendum itself was a perfect example of freedom of choice; the entire student population was given the opportunity to make their own decision on whether they wanted the Union to start selling Nestlé products. A democratic decision was made to keep the boycott in place. Secondly, despite Orton’s arguments, the Nestlé boycott is still relevant. There is solid evidence that Nestlé are still committing malpractices that lead to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of infants every year. Nestlé are constantly monitored, and the international boycott will only be lifted when they are found to abide by certain rules laid out to them. In his article, Orton cites the report written by the

Star letter is sponsored by Your Harley

The winner receives a free meal for two and a Lock-In membership at Your Harley Union’s Nestlé Boycott Select Committee; the report that eventually led the Committee to suggest an end to the boycott. This report has been heavily criticised by Save the Children and Baby Milk Action, among others, who see it as inaccurate. Whilst the committee were

compiling the document, Nestlé sent a group of five representatives to convince them that the boycott was unnecessary. This not only shows the inaccuracy of the report, but completely disproves the argument that our Union’s boycott has no effect on the company. If Nestlé are willing to spend their resources on sending a group of people to convince our Union to drop the boycott, then they are clearly bothered by it. The continuation of our Students’ Union Nestlé boycott is a positive thing. If we had suspended the boycott, Nestlé would have seen it as a victory, and used our decision to lobby other Students’ Unions into doing the same thing, and we would be undermining the entire international campaign. Keeping the boycott sends a strong message to Nestlé that people will not stand for their actions, and our boycott does - and will continue to - make a difference. Yours, Jess Haigh, Architecture; Lizzie Walsh, History and Politics, First year

The occupation’s response Dear Forge,

I would like to publicly respond to criticisms I have heard regarding the Sheffield University occupation and in particular Alex Orton’s editorial ‘The Hicks occupation will do nothing for Gaza’ (page 13, Issue Nine). The majority of criticism comes from people who appear to be somewhat uninformed about the occupation itself, what it stands for and its actual aims, in which case I would advise them either to peruse www.sheffoccupied. blogspot.com or speak to the occupation itself to find out first hand what’s really happening. As it stands, there are three common criticisms that I have come across. One is that it disrupts education. Throughout the occupation, the occupiers have continually stressed that it is not their intention to disrupt students’ education and in fact invited lecturers to continue to hold their classes in the occupied Hicks theatres, which was disallowed by the University. The occupation is, to quote the occupiers’ original statement, “a demonstration of solidarity with the people of Gaza” and “a response to the University

Administration and ViceChancellor’s uncooperative approach towards students’ previous list of demands”. Another frequent criticism is that choosing to focus on Palestine is narrow-sighted. I would argue that political battles must be picked in order for them to be won. Everyone understands that there are great injustices going on everywhere in the world, but it is unrealistic to organise an effective and efficient protest against all worldly wrongs, or to campaign to help all victims thereof. Supporters of the occupation, myself included, are certainly active in campaigns for “other worthwhile causes”. However, being as the situation in Gaza is currently under the mass media spotlight, now is a pertinent time to achieve positive results for those most affected by the crisis. Why don’t those asking “why not Iraq/Darfur/ DRC/Zimbabwe/Pakistan/ Afghanistan, etc., etc.?” set up their own visible campaigns or create their own list of demands? I would hope that if they are arguing upon such a basis, that they are already actively participating in such a campaign. The other most common

criticism is that the occupation is bound to ineffective. It appears to be an unfortunately widespread view that individuals or relatively minor groups, such as the supporters of the current Sheffield occupation, cannot change anything. How many people have you heard say something along the lines of ‘I’m just one person, what I do won’t make a difference’, be it regarding boycotting, recycling or voting? However, it is surely clear that if everybody that held this opinion actually did something, it is more likely that change would occur. Historically, individuals or groups that are politically active can and do make a difference. After all, we are the parts that make up the whole.

Write: Forge Press, Union of Students, Western Bank, Sheffield S10 2TG Email: press.letters@forgetoday.com Text: 07765363716 Please include your name, course and year of study. We reserve the right to edit letters for clarity and space.

Unisex loos

CQ CQ CQ de M0ZMM

Dear Forge, After reading Michael Hunter’s article (‘£10k could go down the pan’, page 16, Issue Eight) on gender neutral toilets, I struggle to see whether he actually has any hint of a clue about anything surrounding the issue. The original idea for a gender neutral toilet quoted at LGBT Committee was actually just to take an existing toilet somewhere in the Union and give it a new sign. £40 at the most less than the amount spent on pens. Bob’s your uncle. I don’t know where the figure of £10k has ever come from, but I’d never even advocate spending that much on a car, never mind a loo. The “division” within the LGBT Committee is clear; we did feel Adam stood out of line with the views of the transgender community that he is supposed to represent to Council and to the media, leaving many LGBT members feeling somewhat betrayed by him. However, he is a valued member, and did not resign over the matter. His resignation came in order for him to speak his mind on matters, something he is very good at. Anyway, all we are trying to do is make life a bit easier for members of our community either not comfortable within the gender binary or travelling through it. I’ve spoken to such people and I know what a great deal of good it would do them. It wouldn’t make the world end; the University Health Centre has had a gender neutral toilet since it opened and no-one has ever noticed. So, when commenting on LGBT issues, either write to committee and we’d be overjoyed to let you sit in on a meeting, or read up on the issues at hand first. Yours, Jamie Wroe, LGBT Committee, English Language Linguistics, Third year

and

Dear Forge, Amongst the various societies in existence here at the University, there seems to be one rather startling omission; amateur radio. Many universities have such societies, and indeed it seems that there used to be a group of sorts some years ago (http://www.qsl.net/ vk3jdy/; SUARS definitely existed yet there are no records in The Source), not to mention the UHF repeater GB3US situated on the roof of the Met building; but alas as far as my search has taken me it seems that no such society exists today. A consequence of this is that I have yet to find any radio hams (apart from members of staff) at the University; surely I’m not the only student ham operator here? If you’re a radio amateur, please drop me a line at cpa08rh@ sheffield.ac.uk Yours, Richard Hodgkinson, Chemical Engineering, First year

Dismayed by the occupation Dear Forge, I am yet again dismayed to hear how a few students think that they have the right to express the entirety of the student body’s thoughts through their frankly ridiculous occupation of lecture theatres and partly outrageous demands. Yes the Gaza issue is contentious, but isn’t it a bit of left wing student ideology to jump on that bandwagon? Other causes, such as the slaughter of Tamils in Sri Lanka and the ethnic cleansing in the Dafur region, should get similar coverage. The University shouldn’t be a pseudo

state, setting foreign policy deciding who we should and shouldn’t deal with. The University is an educational institution and should remain as such, worrying where it is in the global league table and how to promote its image so we can all get careers in these tougher economic times (The Union by all means can, through a democratic process). Fundraising for the affected areas of war or famine should be allowed, if not encouraged, but giving in to demands by students taking the law into their own hands would be deplorable and action against those students and Union Officers should be taken - expulsion without a criminal record wouldn’t be too severe in my opinion. Yours, Anon

Councillor has bone to pick Dear Forge, I write in response to the article you recently published by Kyle Christie (‘Councillors lacking meat on the agenda bone’, page 12, Issue Nine) on lack of activity at Union Council. I see here what I can only describe as illinformed rubbish on an issue the author seems to know little about. While his article is factually accurate, the article completely misses the point and unfairly taints the reputation of a body that students should look to for representation. It is also baffling how this author can write so much about meetings he has never actually been to; the minutes of Council record all observers and Kyle Christie has never been on the list! Yours, David Ledger, Councillor for Maths and Statistics

Were Embrace right to have dwarves dressed as leprechauns on St. Patrick’s Day?

Yours, Maria Cansella, German and Politics, First year

Correction The article ‘Well, Ma... It was just alright’ in Issue Nine of Fuse was written by Sarah Cooper, and not Emily Hansed as printed. We apologise for any upset caused.

Rod Sharples, Social Work, Second year

Ploy Howell, Chemistry, First year

Danny Bird, History, Third year

“Yes, seeing as leprechauns don’t exist it’s fine. They were getting lots of attention from girls too!”

“If they wanted to dress up then it’s up to them [the dwarves].”

“I don’t really think it matters, it is very trivial really.”

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

COMMENT

The protest did nothing but prove the occupiers were widely unpopular

The occupiers tried to do something about what they felt was wrong

By Duncan Robinson

By Jo Wendel

It’s over. After nearly two weeks of sitting around in various places they weren’t supposed to, the occupiers ended their occupation, seemingly quite happy with their achievements. And achievements they were. The University agreed to foot the transport cost of charitable donations to Gaza - where said donations can presumably wait on the border, getting a nice tan as Egyptian and Israeli troops continue the blockade. The University was also compelled to release a statement on Gaza that was so insipid, bland, and devoid of content that it makes your tax return read like a fiery polemic. Apparently the University now “recognises the convictions of many students on this issue” and condemns “acts of terrorism and aggression on all sides”. Goodo, that’s that sorted then. The concessions gained were, frankly, pitiful. They are certainly the least interesting things to have come out of the occupation. Firstly, the occupation showed that students are not apathetic; not because a handful of angry lefties bothered to occupy a building, but because the reaction of the student body as a whole. The large anti-occupation movement had a number of legitimate gripes. The main one being that, despite the occupiers’ professed intentions, lectures were disrupted as a result of the occupation. The backlash this

Protesting has achieved little. inspired was the student-asconsumer theory in action: they had paid for a lecture, and they were not going to let anyone rob them of it. The occupation’s aims also upset others. The attempt to politicise the University itself was shameful.

The concessions gained were, frankly, pitiful and dull Universities are not ideological or political, but educational. The first, last, and only aim of the University should be to educate. Students are represented politically by the Union. The University does not speak for us, the Union does. But we students are still linked,

There is a wave of occupations sweeping across British universities, as disillusioned students take a more direct approach to politics. The University of Sheffield was the 34th university to be occupied this year alone. Students endured 10 days in two lecture theatres, before being served with a court injunction and eventually agreeing to leave. In these times of student apathy and depoliticising, it has been extraordinary to see that students still care. They prove that there is student politics beyond catchy slogans and political correctness; to get any real progress done one needs to not only think, but also act Cartoon: Kate Carson outside the box. I am not suggesting we indirectly, to the actions of take our backpacks and the University. It’s for this move into the Houses reason, then, the University of Parliament the next must stay the hell out of time they are refusing to politics. negotiate our policies. The actions of some of our But there must be room representatives during the for pragmatism in regards entire occupation, however, to bureaucracy as well. If can generously be described everyone always followed as curious. the rules, society would Dave Hurst wrote a never progress. blog post that, while not In London, students at explicitly supportive of Goldsmiths had lobbied the occupation, was a fine for a year to convince example of the political their College to establish “wink-wink, nudge-nudge”. scholarships for students Fiona Edwards appeared from Palestine. on behalf of the protesters Their attempts had been in negotiations; not exactly futile, and after hearing of all out condemnation. other university occupations If a Sabb disagrees with they decided to take fate the Union’s policy that into their own hands. much they should resign. After two days Politics could do with Goldsmiths agreed to create some more Robin Cooks, the four scholarships for and fewer Clare Shorts - students from Palestinian even at Union level. universities. Two days

of sitting around had achieved more than months of campaigning through traditional channels. Dom Sztyber, Journalism student and one of the Hicks occupiers, said: “Most of the time occupation is a last resort.

I admire the activism and dedication shown by the occupiers “You can hand out flyers, and try to campaign and get signatures for a petition, but in the end it is mostly ignored. “People only resort to occupation when no one is listening. Direct action gets things done and people talking far more. “Civil disobedience has historically triumphed. The suffragette movement here started with women protesting and rallying. “But had to resort to chaining themselves to railings, going on hunger strikes, Emily Davison throwing herself in front of a horse. “This got women the vote. They were punished and it is disgusting that they were.” Not all universities have been as willing as Goldsmiths to negotiate. The occupiers have not been hostile or intimidating. They are students who are tired of being shoved away, and

have grown disillusioned by the weakness of the Union and the ignorance of the University. Students should not be punished for peaceful activism. We all have the right to freedom of speech and the right to protest. In Sheffield, the occupiers even offered to move to the back of the lecture theatres to allow lectures to go ahead. They have not deprived us of education. On the contrary; the occupying students have taught us something. Sztyber said: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world. “Activists give me hope that not everyone is selfish and that some people do give a damn.” Personally I am still not completely convinced that occupation is always the right action to take. But I admire the activism and dedication shown, and recognise that direct action can indeed be justified.

The Students’ Union is about more than politics Each issue a member of the Union Officer team reports on their aims, objectives and activities. It’s easy sometimes to believe that the Union just isn’t relevant. The truth is the Union is political. However it is also a place of fun, activities, sport, recreation, integration, understanding and more. The Union aims to act in the interests of all its members. Yes, we could

Dave Hurst, Students’ Union President.

be doing more for some groups, but we are working to address this. The work that we are doing is certainly functioning. Also, with the launch of the first ever postgraduate campaign - ‘PG Rated’ we are ever expanding to make us relevant to all our students. No one should ever feel pushed out of the Union, as there are so many opportunities to get involved in shaping the Union’s focus.

I for one was a disengaged student who wanted to shape where the Union was heading, so I got involved. The Officers provide representation, but we are not the only ones. This is true whether it is big victories or smaller local differences that are achieved by your course reps, Union Links, Councillors or Sports and Activities Committees. Things change because students with different interests see those issues

and raise them. Whether there isn’t a society for you, you are having issues with the University, or you are struggling to even afford to live, we are here for the journey. Even if some of it seems trivial to others, it can mean the biggest difference to somebody else. The Union is fighting, and it is winning. In every department there are students speaking out for students. In a time when our education is under

continuous attack by many political parties, debt and hardship are ever increasing, a Union is never more relevant. The Union isn’t just politics, so don’t ever feel that the Union isn’t for you. The fabulous Source, Advice Centre, or representatives are always there for you. The Union is winning, but without you we’ve lost. Whether that’s fighting for other students, or using us to socialise and meet people: be an active part of us.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

COMMENT

Tax money funds OTC’s weekends of ‘passion’

By Alex Orton Get a gun, go into a muddy field, use foliage for toilet paper and emerge a man; this seems to be the point of the Officer Training Corps. Whether you intend to have a career in the army or just have low self esteem and feel a uniform and a firearm will build confidence, the OTC will take you in. To help inclusion, some of the cadets produce a bi-annual magazine called Slag Mag, which I found shocking for a number of reasons. Their paragraphs were far too long, there were large areas of white space, and the caption on the picture of the man putting a bottle up his arse was justified right when throughout the magazine the captions had been justified left.

I don’t get paid £35 a day, nor do I get to fornicate with my fellow editors It’s disgraceful to see such sloppy journalism; it completely let down the riveting content of who had been shagging who and in which orifice. If the real army got around with each other at the rate the OTC seem to, Al-Qaeda wouldn’t need road side bombs to drive us out

of Afghanistan, they’d just need a particularly virulent strain of gonorrhea. It does seem a bit unfair that various cadets have had their sex lives broadcast to the whole OTC, especially with rumour making up much of Slag Mag’s pages. But then again, with only a millimetre thick piece of canvas between two people in coitus and the rest of the camp, keeping a weekend fling under wraps is always going to be tricky. What does annoy me about the OTC’s fledgling swingers’ scene is the fact that government money is paying for them to be bussed around the country to copulate with each other. Perhaps the Ministry of Defence should spend more money on armoured Land Rovers and less on sending randy undergraduates off to earn their ‘brown star’ on night time manoeuvres. The graffiti on the outside of the OTC’s barracks says “Overprivileged Tory Cocks”. Putting aside the snideness, this does raise a question. Is the OTC just a playground for ex-boarding school types who want to play soldiers? The fact a couple of Sheffield OTC instructors were caught doing cocaine last year can’t help their image of being a taxpayer funded social club. Speaking to some OTC members, most say there is a small group of “posh tossers”, to use one cadet’s

words. But they also say that most of the cadets are reasonably serious about the OTC, including many of the “posh” members. A bit of jealousy comes into my criticism of the OTC. The only group I’m a member of is this paper and I spend a fair few hours a week cobbling pages together. I don’t get paid £35 a day, nor

without some good old-fashioned scientific research to back it up? Men who had viewed pornography just before ejaculation produced greater amounts of sperm: find a way to incorporate erotic material into sex and you’re halfway there. I’m sure your girlfriend would understand if you put some pornographic pictures up on your bedside table. Instead of producing interesting and relevant scientific results, studies such as Dr. Pacey’s can appear to be aiming for media attention: it’s not news that people have been having sex and producing babies for an incredibly long time before this research was released. What I find much more interesting to focus on is just how these findings were procured:

through the stimulation of pigs. It entertained me no end to discover that female pigs were key to this research. Danish researchers found that when humans sexually stimulated sows, there was an increase in fertility. “Having a farmer on the pig’s back is low-tech and unsexy, but it seems to work,” said Pacey. How did they discover that, exactly? This research seems to have had more effect on the pigcommunity than on human life: the Danish government have approved a plan to show farmers exactly how to stimulate their pigs to help them increase fertility. Maybe we should just leave this research to the pigs and farmers: we can sort out our own sex lives.

When learning how to handle weapons, ‘bazookas’ must be treated with great care.

Fun sex is baby-making sex By Amris Kaur Dr. Allan Pacey, a senior lecturer in Andrology at Sheffield University, claims to have discovered the best method of conceiving a child: don’t think about babies. The research suggests that couples should engage in sex that is “wild and thrilling”, and akin to the boisterous sex they had “when they first met, when they weren’t thinking about babies”. None of us would be having as much fun in the bedroom before this research advised us to; what’s the point of great sex

do I get to fornicate with my fellow editors. The company in the Media Hub is always jovial and witty, but only the most dynamic of lotharios ever manages to get touchy-feely with their fellow Forge Press staff. So I’ll never know the delights of the female OTC cadets, with their sexually suggestive nicknames.

Cartoon: Mark Mackay

I won’t even get to have a witty nickname myself. It is rather unfair that those who like to keep their personal lives private have them plastered across Slag Mag’s pages, but if they don’t want to feature on the “Shag map“ then they shouldn’t go around getting their end away on the tax payer’s time.

Dwarves dispute By Emily Creswell When I heard that Embrace would be featuring “real leprechauns” in their St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Would this just be a few strapped-for-cash dwarves wandering around in costumes until the club’s patrons became too drunk to notice them? I later heard that these “leprechauns” had not only performed for the crowds, they had been suspended in cages above the dancefloor. I’m all for Embrace putting on a good show. If a person of less-than-average height is making a living by dressing up and performing, fair play to them. But is it just me, or do the cages and costumes remind anyone else of a Victorian freak show?

So how is this any different to Embrace’s “showgirl” (and boy) dancers? They both wear themed costumes and perform above the dancefloor, and if an averagesized person can hold this job without any issue being made, surely a dwarf should have the same right? Well, yes, but I for one have never seen the showgirls wearing costumes intended to be ridiculous instead of sexy, nor have I ever seen them in cages suspended from the ceiling. It’s extremely unlikely that Embrace meant this to be demeaning, and presumably saw the whole thing as a funny St. Patrick’s-themed spectacle to please the punters. But that does not change the fact that dwarf performers were, however unintentionally, presented as an object of ridicule.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

Editorials Hurst’s propaganda leaves bitter taste Not for the first time this year, our Union President has made claims which have later been undermined by the actual facts of the matter. Since the furore surrounding his Unaffordable University Accommodation report earlier this year, Hurst has been caught up in a policy of letting his mouth move before choosing to engage his brain. His key decision appears to be indecision; his comments are as nebulous as they are unsuccessful. By claiming that he has saved students who will be living in University accommodation in the next academic year £200,000 through his campaign, Hurst has chosen to delineate himself once

again as the political firebrand who is also a humble man of the people. Putting up self-aggrandising posters around the Union is fooling nobody; Ian Jones’ comments have made it very plain that the decision to decrease rent costs for next year was nothing to do with the Union’s campaign, but simply a result of changes in the Retail Price Index (RPI), to which rent prices are tied. The Union President has attempted to dupe members through this simple display of opportunism. Hurst believes his own hype. The pertinent question is, do we? Perhaps, for a change, the facts should come first; not the selfserving image.

The Sheffield Universities Officer Training Corps’ (OTC) year seems to have fluctuated between extremes with astonishing alacrity. From being at the centre of a campus-wide dispute with antimilitary campaigners at the start of the year to dismissing two Captains for cocaine use, it seems that the members of Sheffield’s branch have been weighed down with claim and counter-claim all year. Just at a time when the Somme Barracks establishment could have distanced itself from the clinging negative publicity with their admirable annual fundraising work for the Bluebell

Wood children’s hospice, their biannual publication, Slag Mag, comes to light. It is, admittedly, unfortunate that an in-house publication, presumably only intended for members who were in on the ‘fun’, has come out in this way. But producing such puerile and degrading content was always going to be a time-bomb, and an inquiry is fully justified. In a year where initiation ceremonies in sports clubs nationwide were a huge talking point, groups affiliated to universities should be taking scrupulous care to ensure that they are not bringing their academic institutions into disrepute.

After last year’s historic draw, expectations for 2009’s Varsity tournament were high. The hard work put in by Ella White, Andy Cox, the Sports Committee, and all of the captains so far this year undoubtedly merited a long overdue triumph

for the University of Sheffield. The action-packed final day had everything; unfortunately, that included violence. A minority of boorish morons drinking too much and causing trouble has unfortunately detracted from a successful tournament.

Slag Mag shame

Varsity tarnished

COMMENT

Pointless jargon stifles normal conversation

By Michael Hunter Brian Clough, the legendary Nottingham Forest and Derby County manager, was a man of the people. Clough became a household name as a TV personality back in the 1970s and was loved by football lovers and football haters alike for his reputation as a straight-talker. Speaking more recently about the number of French players in the Arsenal team before his death in 2004, he said: “I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months.” He wasn’t someone who got bogged down with panic over political correctness and, instead, told it how he saw it with a refreshing straightforwardness. Nowadays that is a mantra which seems plain fanciful in a society which has become suffocated by government diktat and institutional speech codes. Indeed, our very own University has published guidelines to staff which recommend they avoid phrases such as “manpower”, “workmanlike”, “taxman”, “headmaster or headmistress”, and “epileptic”. Such sensitivity just isn’t necessary. Surely the art of communication is in sound shape as long as we understand each other? The broadcast media, in particular, are now petrified of offending anyone in the wake of the already infamous Sachs-gate row. We find ourselves treading on eggshells more than ever, constantly battling to avoid a “David Brent moment”. We end up squabbling over

“offensive” terms such as “brainstorm”, “nitty gritty” and “black coffee” for the benefit of the very few. And as a result, reams of manufactured terminology are slowly but surely embraced to the point where we’re addressing each other like we’re sat cross-legged in the House of Commons singing ‘Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep’. It seems that watching BBC’s Question Time is no longer the only place to be bombarded with jargon-infused pontificating as the art of bullshitting stretches beyond our screens and our

airwaves and into the workplace. Now, my only experience of office-speak comes courtesy of The Apprentice, where the candidates repeatedly promise Sir Alan “at the end of the day, I will give 110 per cent” in a futile bid to save themselves from the sack. But a recent poll of office workers confirms long-winded language is inherent and, before long, employees are “pre-preparing” reports and “forward planning” meetings until they are “taking a holistic approach”. Let’s bring back plain-speaking and get rid of all this cobblers.

and competency has not been fulfilled. Union Council meanwhile has perhaps been more limp than fierce, despite being chosen after well-contested elections. They’ve frequently chosen not to punish the Officers, looking past their mistakes or outside interests. But for most students the above is, truly, irrelevant. Because summarising the Union’s year so far can be easily done without touching on politics. The Union isn’t about agendas, proposals, or half-hearted but well-worded campaigns. And it certainly isn’t about replicating national or international politics in a local setting. It’s about a Union, so the mantra goes, that is the best in the country. It’s the £3,000 that was raised at RAG week. It’s the successes and failures the sports team have been working towards for a year

at those cold Varsity matches and their determined supporters. It’s the dozens of societies, whether they attract only half a dozen students every fortnight or pack out the Raynor Lounge every week. Perhaps more than anything, it’s about having that physical focal point to buy our paper, eat our lunch and start and finish so many nights. To all of that, the type of Union politics we have often seen this year should take a back seat. What the Union is about then, is allowing students to have the time of their lives and always

expanding the opportunities it offers. Other students from other universities can’t believe just how big a role the Union plays in so many of our lives. If the Officers next year want to take the Union to new heights, then they needn’t get bogged down in the politics. Concentrate on representation and support for students, how to work with the University not against it, and how to ensure the body that a record number of people chose them to run continues to succeed.

Gibberish is swamping simple speech.

Cartoon: Kate Carson

A year is far too long a time in Union politics By Kyle Christie As the Union politics year draws to a close - I tentatively suggest that it calms down after Easter but you never know - it’s worth a quick look back at a year that, while not a full-blown roller coaster, was enough for any student to contend with. This year has seen an unprecedented revival in political engagement amongst students, with the proposal to remove any military presence from campus and the subsequent backlash, as well as both sets of Gaza protests, providing those who are interested with plenty to shout about. This sort of interest should be welcomed, if not always the tactics. Whether we agree with it or not, a politically active campus is preferable to an apathetic one: what’s important is that all

students are heard, not just those with loud voices who know how the system works. Despite appearances, the Officer team this year has also often been divided. On phone call expenses, the accommodation protest, NUS reform, the Gaza occupation and many of the referenda proposals, the Sabbs have been split. For the sake of the façade of unity, however, their individual views have often not been heard.

A politically active campus is preferable to an apathetic one I have no qualms that the Officer team works incredibly hard. Their long hours and dedication often go unseen and they should be praised for it. But on some infrequent but important occasions this year, the basic demand of commitment

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

FEATURES

FEATURES weird but quite nice. Oh and strippers. “You know, I think people who do that tend to be a little more level headed than comedians actually. The deal you’re making with an audience is a bit more straightforward. It’s like ‘I will come out here and I will take my clothes off in a very entertaining and fun way and you will either like it or not like it.’” Would Chris take his clothes off? “Would I? There’s this show called Office Party which is a big interactive theatre show and we’re going to do it in London in October and so it’s like going to a real office party. In it, Ursula Martinez, who’s in the show in May, does a novelty striptease number. She does it with a little red handkerchief. “But then we do a double act to ‘Lady in Red’ - possibly the worst song ever written - and we’re using quick change which is my one of my favourite ever things. She’s in a white long dress and I’m in a white suit, and then as soon as I start singing her dress turns into a red dress and then my suit turns into a red dress and then we both end up naked. “It’s a sort of dreadful joke about red pubic hair. So I’m not even bothered about being naked on stage either.” This nakedness and eating of cake; exactly what kind of comedian does this make? How does Chris define his career in a variety context? “If I could get that right then maybe my career would be a bit more focused. I describe myself as an entertainer.

Try to diss me and you won’t get far, keep it real kids - in the arse

A fully clothed Christopher Green swaps his Ida Barr rap and R’n’B style for grand pianos and finger sandwiches at St. Paul’s Hotel.

Photo: Olivia Lightfoot

Keeping it real with Christopher Green By Kate Dobinson Christopher Green ushers me into a booth in St. Paul’s Hotel and insists that I eat cake. Marvellous. We squeeze and slide in around the circular table which is littered with cups of tea and caramel chocolate shortbread. Actually, there isn’t really that much cake left; the debris pointing to what has been a long day of interviews for the character comedian, whose curriculum vitae bulges over with the kind of grandiosity in achievement that most comedians would chew their thumb off for. Beavering away on performances

at the Sydney Opera House, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and commissions for BBC Radio Four have led to an Olivier Award, and mark Chris out as the pointy shoesporting dandy to lead the exciting and variety-inspired comedy movement that has exploded into public consciousness. When I ask Chris if his penchant for subverting the music hall genre with a good old Missy Elliot style rap can be recorded, he pauses from his delicate finger sandwich. “I can only rap in an Ida Barr stylee, but I can certainly give you a bit of that. Let me not choke, that would be a shame, although very Ida. “Yes, so Ida speaks like this. Hello, I’m leading in. / Oh yes, so this is just a bit of free styling, /

Can you do any beat-boxin’? / No? Oh well, I’ll have to make do with me, / You know me, Ida B from Econee, / Pensioners love me, you know the type that got bad knees, / Heart disease, blood pressure and occasional things like herpes. / Try to diss me and you wont get far, / Keep it real kids - in the arse.

Who is the real Chris Green when he’s not got a guitar over his bits? “There we are, got a bit of phlegm up me.” Like Chris, Ida Barr - a creation whose resurrection from a 1967 music hall star to rapping granny is stowed away in the frail tickers of the budgie keeping

generation - has no airs and graces. “The thing with comedians is that they drive themselves mad, especially when you get more than two comedians in a room together and they go crazy, they try to outjoke each other and I just go very quiet.” Chris was born in Sheffield and, despite never having performed in his home town, makes the journey from London to Sheffield regularly to visit his grandmother who dances weekly at City Hall at the age of 86. This tie to Sheffield has recently been rooted around for in the trunk of possible gig venues as he stars in and hosts Ida Barr’s Variety Performance on Sunday, May 24, at the Lyceum Theatre.

Having worked alongside Professor Vanessa Toulmin, Director of The National Fairground Archive at the University of Sheffield, the show showcases the extraordinary elements in comedy which have not necessarily been in favour - until now. “I’m sure a lot of students think that comedy is very approachable and ‘I will find something I like there, but in theatre I might not’. But variety is absolutely made for [comedy]. I guarantee there will be stuff you like. Anyone who goes to a comedy club should come to this. “I like the company of comedians but I spend much more of my time and my working life in a variety context. So most of my close friends are sword swallowers and singers and hula hoopers and that’s quite

“You can be really political, you can be really serious, and as long as you’re entertaining people then they will give you that space that will allow you to do all of that. If you take yourself too seriously then you can’t get away with much.” However, the potential for a ruffling of political feathers is always a precarious position in which comedians often find themselves. “I got into a bit of trouble; I did an election show last year with Tina C, my country music character, who was running for president, so I was a celebrity independent candidate. “So I was following the whole of the American elections by being a candidate myself, or Tina being a candidate. ‘White trash in the White House’ - that was the platform. “I did a few interviews in America which got picked up on by Press Association and stuff and

Clockwise from top right: Christopher Green; Green in a variety of character guises; Green as Tina C. then it got to be taken quite seriously, so we got a few kinds of things where people wanted to do interviews, and I would do it completely in character. (Adopts American accent) And they’re like ‘well, you know, we can find your campaign headquarters, where’s the funding coming from?’ (Adopts Tina’s voice) And I’m like ‘er, well, I don’t know, you’re going to have to look into that yourself, I don’t know; I can’t do your job, I’m pretty busy.’ And it all got a bit out of hand. I enjoyed it, it was great. “I did a show about

9/11 the summer afterwards and sort of was the first person to do a whole show on it. That was obviously controversial - which felt quite brave at the time - but I knew what I was satirising which was mass celebrity and celebrities being really sentimental; it wasn’t about taking the piss about people jumping out of buildings, which is inherently not that funny. “So yeah that got me into a lot of trouble. We got a lot of negative press, especially in the States; literally had families of relatives writing opinion pieces

Christopher Green, and in character as Ida Barr, Jedd O’Sullivan, and Tina C.

Photos: Olivia Lightfoot and MKthingshappen

saying this must be stopped. I did it in Edinburgh and the head of Edinburgh council said ‘this show must be banned’ and then I was interviewed and said ‘well he needs to come and see it’ and so he came to see it and, to his credit, he said ‘I was wrong, this is fine, it’s great go and see it.’

My close friends are sword-swallowers and singers and strippers

“A lot of comedians, and fair play to them its how they decide to be - Mark Thomas, Mark Steel, Frankie Boyle - they’re very committed to their politics and they will use comedy to highlight what they believe in and you always know what they think and I like being a bit more theatrical with that. So in a way Tina always says the opposite to what I think, but not always. Tina’s very right wing and I like to confuse people so they don’t r e a l l y k n o w what it think, or so that t h e y Photo: MKthingshappen

have to work it out.” It is easy for comedians to be coloured in with their own creations, but who is the real Chris Green when he’s not covering up his bits with a country guitar or parading as a right wing radical? “I like the fact that I play characters because it makes it much easier to work out who I am. I’m confident and I’m very happy to be on stage, but its not like I’m a social cripple and I can only talk to people when I’ve got a wig on. “The real me is fairly straightforward. I like cake. I like clothes.” Chris looks down at today’s vintage purchases: a soft grey leather jacket which obscures the bright red t-shirt with a friendly panda’s face, jeans, and pointy black shoes; the blend of comfortable style that doesn’t try to perform. “I know a lot of comedians who are quite screwed up, because they have to go out on stage and ostensibly be themselves night after night and they have to be funny and if someone goes ‘you’re not funny’, then that’s really hard, and it’s hard for me. But if I’m pretending to be a pensioner and someone shouts ‘you’re ugly’, then it doesn’t really bother me that much, does it?” Still, this ease on stage is not the product of a shy and awkward adolescence. “I used to do - this really dates me - impressions of Margaret Thatcher, I invented this character, and I was nine or 10, called ‘Wonder Maggie’ which is not dissimilar to the work I’m doing now. Big hair, big bosoms - I haven’t really come far at all.”

Film directors special / Chinatown Wars / Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tea Party / No Exit

Fuse.

Feature Music Games Arts Screen

Director’s cut: some influential names in Director Profile: Pedro Almodovar Pedro Almodόvar is arguably the most successful and internationally renowned Spanish director and screenwriter of our time. The selftaught prodigy is a propeller of Spain’s alternative culture, a vibrant and controversial filmmaker. Monopolising on the post-Franco culture explosion in Spain, the director is profoundly influenced by mass media as well as underground culture. Being openly gay, Almodόvar often incorporates elements of life as a Spanish gay man into many of his films. Such a choice in a country with strong Roman Catholic values is inevitably bound to be controversial, especially when teamed with the themes of overt desire and sex. Despite those who frown upon him, Almodόvar has gained public and critical acclaim, with many fans obsessing over his bold, upfront narratives and colourful

Fuse

Thursday April 2 2009

Director Profile: Cameron Crowe

What makes a film enjoyable? Having any of the following condiments: a good story, witty dialogue, nice characters, lush cinematography and powerful scenes. What makes a film a classic? Having all of them delightfully surrounded by cracking tunes. Cameron Crowe knows this. Several of his films have classic scenes imprinted in the landscape of pop culture; John Cusack holding a boombox blasting Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’, Tom Cruise yelling “show me the money!”, and Billy Crudup jumping into a pool shouting “I’m a golden god!”. But there’s another set of scenes that might not be that well remembered, but they graft to your heart because of the excellent musical choice; Renee Zellweger breaking our collective hearts with Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Secret Garden’, Mark Kozelek singing Elton John’s ‘Tiny Dancer’, Kyra Sedgwick getting her trust betrayed with Pearl Jam’s ‘State of Love and Trust’. When you think about it, Crowe’s reputation is about the love of music, marrying powerful stuff with equally strong music. Four of his films shine because of this: Almost Famous is an ode to faces, good and ugly, of music. Vanilla Sky is intertwined with music. People bond over musical tastes in the fantastic tribute to the grunge scene in Singles. The uneven Elizabethtown

Mr. Almodόvar gets everything into focus. cinematography. It seems that the director is currently at the peak of world cinema; but just what is has a fantastic scene which is practically a love letter to mixtapes and roadtrips. It boils down to people coming together because of music, of those little notes of harmony that add the extra spark to a smile from a friend, that add warmth to the embrace of a loved one, that paint the sky orange in a beautiful sunset. And how about the cameos he gets? Jerry Cantrell (Alice in Chains) as a photocopier, Tim Burton as a deranged video director, Chris Cornell as a dazed neighbour, Pearl Jam as backup players in a band called Citizen Dick. The list is endless. Their cameos are thank you notes for their music and ideas. But enough gushing about music, how about his recurring themes? It seems he focuses on two things. The most obvious one is relationships: whether to a caring overprotective mother, a strange quirky family mourning the death of a loved one, twentysomethings ﬁnding their place in life, refusing to sell out your beliefs or your true love, it all falls to caring.

His films have scenes imprinted in the landscape of pop culture Perhaps more subtle is how the theme of perception is an undercurrent in most of his films. The ugly face of rock bands, fallible significant others (Singles thrives on this) and reality itself gets a good shake too. His most complex film is Vanilla Sky, a sort of cover version of Abre Los Ojos that adds so much to the original material that it becomes something new. The work of Cameron Crowe might not be high art (it’s been accused of being too schmaltzy) and maybe it’s a little detached from reality, but a film can offer good escapism, so why not go full blown and enjoy it with a delicatessen-like selection of prime musical cuts? Samuel Valdes Lopez

it about his ﬁlms that have such broad appeal? An Almodόvar ﬁlm centres

Director Profile: Baz Luhrmann Mark Anthony ‘Baz’ Luhrmann, director of Oscar winning and nominated films such as Moulin Rouge and Romeo and Juliet, is one of the most influential and original voices within the film industry today. Born in New South Wales, Australia, in 1962, Luhrmann’s passion for film grew as he was surrounded by the inspirational elements that were able to enhance his creative way of thinking. It was his mother’s career as a ballroom dance teacher and his father’s as a movie theatre operator that first fuelled his imagination and contributed to his incredibly innovative style of directing. This can be seen perhaps most explicitly within his first three films, which have been named ‘The Red Curtain Trilogy’, all showing dramatic theatrical elements whilst still maintaining their own defining style. Within them, Moulin Rouge has been his most successful film to date, and it is not hard to see why. The film is based upon the appearance of one of the first French cabarets of 1900. Rich with the emergence of new literary circles and lively, joyful atmospheres, the period promised a better quality of life for all. The film itself tells the story of Satine (Nicole Kidman), a Moulin Rouge star and courtesan who meets and falls in love with British songwriter Christian (Ewan McGregor) whilst he is in Paris. However, the trailer of said film emphasises just one rule within Satine’s world: to never fall in love. The events that occur as a result of their feelings for each other create an extremely moving and spectacular piece, which is extenuated further by Luhrmann’s distinctive use of camera, setting and costume.

around a group of characters with interconnecting storylines. However, dramatic and complicated plots take the viewer on an emotional and humorous adventure into the life of each individual. A broad array of characters, often with multiple identities, keep the viewer emotionally engaged as they are led unwittingly into narrative carnage. Take, for example, 2004’s Bad Education featuring Gael Garcia Bernal. Bernal plays a crossdressing character that is posing as his dead brother Ignacio and is attempting to make a ﬁlm about Ignacio’s relationship with a Catholic priest who sexually abused him as a child. Odd and confusing? Yes. Rewarding? Yes. The over the top plots are strangely addictive. The exaggerated aesthetic and glossy neon décor is an adorned reference to modern pop culture. Almodόvar’s pop culture references aren’t a not-so-subtle advertisement of his own personal taste, but rather an exposé on the Luhrmann’s ability to merge different time periods together also occurs in his other work. His slightly earlier ﬁlm, Romeo and Juliet, uses the classical language of the Shakespearean era but incorporates it into a modern setting. Not only does this

impact of pop culture on human emotions. One of the most striking features of recent Almodόvar offerings is an exclusive focus on female experience and the strong bonds between women from every walk of life. Volver, Talk to Her and the Oscar-winning All About my Mother are all examples of Almodόvar’s world of women. Whilst watching these films, the viewer finds that the director takes on a tender and empathetic tone towards women. That’s not to say that his films have lost any of their vivacity; just that the viewer experiences a more realistic character. In her 2009 Oscars acceptance speech Penelope Cruz even commented: “I cannot talk about great female characters without thanking my friend Pedro Almodóvar for having made me part of so many of his adventures.” It seems that in his existential, vital and candid way, Almodόvar creates films that are simply alive. Pippa Moore result in the beautiful language being preserved but also creates extremely interesting viewing, the method used having been successful with very few other directors. Luhrmann’s latest film, Australia, explores the consequences of World War II upon the love of an incredibly unexpected trio. The motion picture promises the same amazing visual experience as his previous work. Holly Mitchell

most controversial, and original ﬁlmmakers.

He is talented at creating fantasy worlds like sci-fi dystopia Born in America, Gilliam moved to the UK to pursue a career in animation. He worked on early incarnations of Monty Python, such as the surrealist children’s sketch show Do Not Adjust Your Set. After his initial success, Gilliam

was part of the original line up of Monty Python. His original role was that of an animator, and his now famous work linked the show’s sketches together. After the small screen success of the Pythons, Gilliam began his career as a filmmaker by directing classic films like Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It is in the story of the Knights of the Round Table and their quest to find the Holy Grail that Gilliam, along with fellow Python Terry Jones, takes us on a journey that includes the maniacal black knight and altercations with the French that have more than often been

of MIA’s ‘Paper Planes’ in Slumdog is nearly as perfect as Lou Reed’s ‘Perfect Day’ in Trainspotting). Like all Boyle’s films, the heart of Slumdog is its exploration of humanity; Boyle tells stories about human nature and his plots serve to create the opportunities to challenge that in his characters. So why, after over a decade, has Boyle finally delivered on his early promise in this film? To say the answer is purely luck would deny the skill and artistry of Boyle’s film and yet, unfortunately that is almost the case. All of his films are as well crafted as Slumdog, yet in this film everything has come together to create a classic piece of cinema. We can only hope that this resultant newly-found attention will cause people to look back on his work to truly appreciate the minor miracles that led to the one that recaptured our faith in him. Matt Smith described as comic genius. After this, Gilliam worked independently of the Pythons on the cult classic Time Bandits, which is fantasy story of a young boy and a group of time travelling dwarves. His talents at creating fantasy worlds are also displayed by his timeless classic Brazil, where Gilliam constructs a crazy sci-fi dystopia. Challenges came from Twelve Monkeys and his portrayal of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Twelve Monkeys, which starred Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt, is a sci-fi movie set in a bleak and bizarre future that explores the themes of time and

memory. His adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson’s seminal novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, starring Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro, captures Thompson’s twisted road trip in all its glory, warts and all. It exposes the audience to the full drug-fuelled roller coaster that was Thompson’s journey to the heart of the American Dream. Gilliam’s next ﬁlm, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, will showcase Heath Ledger’s last ever performance, and promises to be as mad and fantastical as ever. Will Neve-Jones

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If you like dwarf-led time travel, badly run totalitarian regimes, or even drug-crazed rampages through the Nevada desert, then you will love the ﬁlms of Terry Gilliam. For over 30 years Gilliam has been creating weird and wonderful worlds for us to explore. From his early work with comedy legends on Monty Python to other memorable pieces of cinema such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Brazil, Gilliam has been one of Hollywood’s strangest,

Unfortunately, this early success paved the way for Boyle’s ‘difficult follow up’ syndrome that has haunted him since. A Life Less Ordinary (1997) was generally lambasted by contemporary reviewers, as was 2000’s The Beach. While hindsight creates kinder responses to these films, it’s fair to say that they lacked some of the originality of his earlier work and it’s understandable that they disappointed, given Boyle’s earlier success. Ironically, Boyle’s attempts at genre film in 2004’s zombie film 28 Days Later and 2007’s sci-fi thriller

Peter Brennan

Thursday April 2 2009

Director Profile: Terry Gilliam

In Slumdog all of his skill and artistry has come together to create a classic

Sunshine were criticised for being too generic, and so despite general praise, they still failed to be seen as a return to form. By 2008 Boyle was seen as a competent British director, making interesting - if only moderately successful films. While for many that would be enough, Boyle’s early supporters may have been surprised that a film based on an ITV game show and set in Mumbai would provide the return to form, leading to one of the biggest surprise hits of last year. If you’re not the sort of cinema-goer swayed by eight Oscars, seven BAFTAs and four Golden Globes, then it’s possible you’ve missed one of the best British films of 2008, Slumdog Millionaire. The film has all the features of Boyle’s other work: a brutally honest narrative, a camera that never strays from even the most upsetting shots, and a perfectly selected soundtrack (the inclusion

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To be branded ‘the saviour of the British film industry’ should be an accolade reserved for only a handful of directors. Yet in recent years it seems that any Brit who helms a film to commercial or critical success will become burdened with the destiny of bringing the British film industry to glory. One such director who carries that expectation is Danny Boyle. Boyle first came to the attention of the industry as the director of his 1995 debut Shallow Grave, the most commercially successful British film of that year. A dark thriller which gave Ewan McGregor his first leading role, the film showed the attempts of three friends to cover up the death of their flatmate, with the aim of keeping hold of the large sum of money he left behind. Boyle’s success with this film quickly led to directing the 1996 film adaption of Irvine Welsh’s Trainspotting, which proved an even bigger success. It was this film that

caused Boyle to receive his ‘saviour’ status as the movie quickly became not only a commercial success but one of the most culturally important British ﬁlms of the decade.

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Director Profile: Danny Boyle

whose plight worsens as the film continues, such as his portrayal of Howard Hughes in The Aviator (2004) and Billy Costigan in The Departed (2006). Scorsese films have incorporated some of the most iconic moments in cinematic history, whether it be the opening shot of Raging Bull or the famous “You talkin’ to me?” scene in Taxi Driver. However, his real value lies in his subject matter. Scorsese films tell the story of the Irish and Italian ethnicity in the dark underground of New York which was established as a result of the mass immigration to America in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. This is most obvious in 2002’s Gangs of New York, with the film’s plot hanging on a dispute over the control of the Five Points area of the city. His insight into the Irish and Italians who came to New York and retained their own cultures points out that New York is not one big city full of ‘New Yorkers’ as is so ostentatiously described in Sex and the City. It is, rather, a mixing pot full of separate communities with separate heritages. His legacy will be his portrayals of paranoia, macho posturing, bloody violence, Catholic guilt and redemption in a gritty New York setting.

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Martin Scorsese and Matt Damon on set for The Departed.

Martin Scorsese is one of the biggest names in the film industry. After serious deliberations about entering the priesthood, he entered a seminary in 1956 to channel his passions into film. He graduated from New York University as a film major in 1964. His credentials are second to none in terms of critical reception, and with his relatively recent exposure to blockbuster budgets he is now producing the kind of box office success that merit his artistic achievements. Scorsese’s most frequent topic is that of his home, New York. Whilst the Big Apple is so often portrayed in an overly romantic tone, his city is based on the streets. His childhood was spent in the Little Italy district, and the neighbourhood he saw inspired an array of his later works. Crime and vice are as staple to a Scorsese film as wheat is to our diet. His heritage of large families and the close quarters of his Sicilian relations also inspired his interest in the tight family and friend relationships; a key factor that would determine his style. It is also one of the aspects that changed most as his career progressed. In Mean Streets (1973), Charlie (Harvey Keitel) and Johnny’s

(Robert De Niro) friendship was the key component of the film and their relationship survived despite the discovery of Charlie’s relationship with Johnny’s cousin, and the increasing financial pressures affecting Johnny’s personality and his resultant hostility towards other characters. Raging Bull (1980) equally focused on the brotherly affection between Jake (De Niro) and Joey La Motta (Joe Pesci). Though this bond was fractured as a result of Jake’s spiralling paranoia, it was eventually resolved. These features of friendships surviving despite the odds are lacking in later Scorsese films. Goodfellas (1990) and Casino (1995) begin with the lead characters the best of friends, yet by the end of the films they are trying to kill each other. The same occurs in The Departed (2006), where Colin (Matt Damon) and Frank’s (Jack Nicholson) relationship begins with a father and son bond and ends in a gunshot. The masterpieces Taxi Driver and Raging Bull were driven by De Niro’s performances but were totally in the debt of Scorsese’s fascination with the troubled male protagonist. He has since taken Leonardo DiCaprio under his wing and is now making his biggest commercial hits. DiCaprio has taken the mantle from De Niro for providing Scorsese’s films with a troubled young man

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Director Profile: Martin Scorsese

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Cucumber sandwiches and raiding Granddad’s wardobe Interview: Let’s Tea Party The moniker Let’s Tea Party sounds whimsical, conjuring up images of The Mad Hatter and dainty little cups of Early Grey. It is not particularly rock and roll, and very refreshing: this allmale three-piece embrace their somewhat clean image. “We’re not intentionally trying to be cool,” says Rich Sear (guitar and bass). “Obviously, we still do the same stuff that every young person does, but we do the wholesome thing pretty well.” Their name came about from their days as students at the University of Bristol, hanging out in the coffee shop Boston Tea Party. “It evokes good, tongue-incheek fun.” This kind of anti-hedonism has come about at just the right time. In the era of credit crunch and global warming, the excesses of the super-rich seem utterly distasteful (Posh and Becks, please take note).

We take any clothes we can from our granddads - like big, old jumpers The band’s sense of style mirrors this idea; Rich’s style icon is, he claims, his granddad. “He’s got some style. We take anything we can from our granddads - like big, old knitted jumpers.” Let’s Tea Party provide the musical equivalent of green living, meaning they are capable of having more resonance within modern society than ever before. Their down to earth character is disarmingly cool. I ask if the band ever have any outrageous dressing room demands. Rich pauses before stating: “A towel. And a bar of a soap.” No alcohol or drugs required here then. But, that is not to make them sound dull; Rich is funny and

charming, saying he’d like to “quiz Sting about Tantric sex” and joking about “sleeping rough” in the band’s Volvo estate that they tour in.

We don’t try and be cool; we do the wholesome thing pretty well He also has tales of experiences with strange fans, telling me about a girl who got into the band’s car and refused to leave. “Within a minute had taken off her tights and was showing us her tattoos. Then she wouldn’t get out of the car until we had driven her to her ex-boyfriend’s house. It was really weird.” Not all their fans have been quite so odd though. When on their last tour in January, Let’s Tea Party asked people if they could put them up in the evenings to avoid too many nights crammed in the Volvo. It seems they struck gold on occasions. “There was this girl in Brighton who baked us this really good cake, made us dinner - just completely mothered us. It was amazing.” The conversation turns to musical influences. In this respect, Rich seems entirely unpretentious. “I just really like good pop music.” It is very pleasant to talk to a musician who is not trying to out-cool everyone else with their taste in extremely obscure bands. He cites Twenty One by the Mystery Jets as “the album” of 2008, and enthuses about Jefferson Airplane: “They do these amazing psychedelic pop songs.” Other favourites include De La Soul - “they’re amazing” - and The Beatles. “It’s a bit obvious, but who doesn’t like The Beatles?” Let’s Tea Party’s sound is, he says, “pop bounce.” The songs up on their MySpace reflect this statement; they are infectiously upbeat and horribly catchy.

Let’s Tea Party lead singer Sam proves that Tigger has nothing on his jumping skills. The delightfully sunny ‘Hot Chip’ is not a “direct reference” to the illustrious group, “but we love them. They are an inspiration to us.” The lyric “I will be your Hot Chip” actually means, says Rich, “just, like a, cool guy”. The “Buttercup” that is sung about is “the guy’s girlfriend.” It is a song written by lead singer Sam about himself and his lady-love, which somehow makes it much more appealing. Let’s Tea Party seem to have an innate sweetness that provides welcome relief to moody indie bands that take themselves too seriously to smile. ‘Hot Chip’ is the kind of tune that could, potentially, have commercial success. It is universally appealing and not so consciously trendy that the more mature listener is scared away. Rich seems unflustered by the prospect. “It’s not conscious but

if it happens, it happens. I would love to be paid for our music; we’re all working nine ’til five, trying to pay our rent.”

Let’s Tea Party provide welcome relief to moody indie bands They all only graduated last year, so the full-on band thing is relatively new. “We took the big leap and moved in together. Now we bicker all the time.” Do they get support from their parents for this new venture? “Our families were miffed,” Rich admits. “They wanted us to get ‘proper’ jobs and we just wanted to dick around on our instruments for a while and see what happens.” Currently, the band are recording

with Mi7 in West London and are soon to go on a 12-date tour, coinciding with the release of their latest singles ‘Emmanuelle’ and the brilliant ‘Hot Chip’. “It’s really exciting, being able to play music all day,” he enthuses. Alice in Wonderland has influenced the band in a “roundabout” way - “it’s all colourful and poppy.” The Mad Hatter and his infamous tea-party is, says Rich, “wicked”. This seems to be his favourite adjective; his conversation is peppered with it. His enthusiasm is very appealing and will no doubt provide the band with the energy needed for success.. What would Let’s Tea Party’s ideal tea-party involve, I wonder?” “Cucumber sandwiches and fairy cakes.” And who would provide the event’s entertainment? Rich laughs: “Us, obviously.” Alice Stride

A beginner’s guide to... Ticket-tastic If you thought the history of contemporary music began with John Lennon’s inadequate painting hand, then think again. For the Beatles were only glints in their father’s eyes by the time Robert Johnson was through. Little is known of this elusive bluesman, but to put his remarkable influence into perspective, he was born three years prior to the First World War

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Thursday April 2 2009

#6: Robert Johnson

Legendary bluesman Johnson.

and died at the tender age of 27, establishing the cruellest feature of rock ’n’ roll; the tragic death of a tortured genius in their prime. Martin Scorsese once said that Johnson existed as “pure legend”, a claim substantiated by the shortage of photos and the circumstances surrounding his life and death. According to Deep South folklore, a 17-year-old Johnson convened with the Devil at a crossroads in Mississippi referenced in ‘Crossroads Blues’ - near to the plantation on which he lived and, under a full moon, sold his soul in exchange for unprecedented skill on the guitar. The budding musician mastered his instrument within months, busked on street corners, lived off the last performance, smoked and drank excessively and slept around; typically boasting on ‘Stones In My Passway’ that he had both “a bird to whistle and a bird to sing”. Johnson lived the rock ’n’ roll dream before anybody else could dare to shut their eyes; a lifestyle captured on his only conventional

record, King of the Delta Blues. Released by Columbia Records in 1961, the album was less a cohesive piece of work than a 16 track collection of past recordings. It showcases the unique talent of a man born and bred in the heart of the South, evoking vivid images of cotton pickers, chain-gangs, hot dusty roads and drifters. Captivating and haunting in equal measure, the half-sung, half-spoken lyrics from the likes of ‘Me and the Devil Blues’ and ‘Hellhound on my Trail’ - as well as his sudden and unexplained death in 1938 - add intrigue to the Johnson myth, whilst his guitar style has inspired everyone from Buddy Holly, Eric Clapton and Led Zeppelin to more recent acts such as Cold War Kids and The White Stripes. While Robert Johnson’s roughly recorded and arguably dated songs may not fight for a place on your iPod, he’s certainly overdue substantial recognition for being arguably the most musically influential artist of all time. Joe Christmas

Competition: Win Rolo Tomassi guestlist Our friends at Plug have kindly donated two pairs of guestlist spots for Rolo Tomassi’s headline gig on Wednesday, April 15. It’s set to be a Yorkshire love-in as support for the Sheffield fivepiece will come

from Leeds’ Grammatics and Pulled Apart By Horses. To win two guestlist spots for yourself and a friend, just email press.music@forgetoday.com with your name and contact details by Friday, April 9. Good luck!

Review: PJ Harvey and John Parish - A Woman A Man Walked By

Review: Shortwave Fade - Deletia

James Morris

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Review: The Words - All the Roads EP

Review: Metric Fantasies After rinsing ‘Monster Hospital’ for all it’s worth on every American TV show known to man, Canadian indie-popsters Metric have returned, proudly clutching their latest album to remind all that they are not just “that band on Grey’s Anatomy”’. Fantasies picks up exactly where Live it Out left off in 2005, with lead single ‘Help I’m Alive’ echoing the likes of ‘Glass Ceiling’ and ‘Empty’. Despite not making a radical departure from their previous efforts, Metric seem to have matured, toning down the angsty yet accessible edge that initially made them so engaging. But never fear: Emily Haines and co. have not put down their guitars for good. The sublime ‘Twilight Galaxy’ lulls you to the point of sleep before ‘Gold Guns and Girls’ storms in like a rebellious younger brother, destroying everything in its path. The pounding bass drum and crunching guitars combined with

Metric are back and better than ever. Haines’ emphatic yelling of “Is years ago, preserving the eerie it ever gonna be enough?” is atmosphere that mirrors Haines’ infectious and a much appreciated trademark vocals. nod to their past. Until, that is, we reach the Waiting in the wings is the album closer: the loud, bombastic euphoric ‘Gimme Sympathy’, the and downright cheeky ‘Stadium most single-worthy track on the Love’ which pushes the album in a album. It begs the rather optimistic different direction once again. question “Who would you rather Unpredictable, enchanting be / The Beatles or The Rolling and a textbook case of synthStones?” creating a radio-friendly exploitation, Fantasies illuminates chorus that will be hummed and a band succeeding where others sung from Torquay to Toronto. fail in the vulnerable transitional Shamelessly flaunting their period from mainstream anonymity assets (namely Haines’ ghostly to pop frontrunners. voice), Fantasies builds on the foundations that Metric set Natasha Parker

Simply soul destroying Review: Richard Emberstone - Amazing Love EP British soul has been on the up in the last few years, which has been quite a marvellous thing. Unfortunately, Richard Emberstone’s rather awful EP does not have the bluesy edge and powerful, grainy vocals that typify this genre, despite being advocated as “putting British soul on the map”. A likely tale. Instead, Amazing Love is a collection of naff R’n’B - the sort of thing that might play in the background of a really dreadful porn film. It is a mess of whiny vocals (particularly notable is the repetition of “Ooh ooh / Yeah yeah” on ‘When It Suited You’) non-descript rhythms and a poorly used synth.

Emberstone fails to impress. Each of the five tracks on his EP blend seamlessly into one another. Firstly, this is confusing. Secondly, it is extraordinarily dull. Lead single ‘If You Were a Secret’ is evocative of a bad ’90s boy band - North&South, anyone? The lyrics are unintelligent and Emberstone’s nasal singing fails to infuse any life into them. The most profound statement he comes out with is on title track

‘Amazing Love’: “Yeah / I guess it’s just one of those / One of those things”. A poet he ain’t. ‘Amazing Love’ does have its good points though, lest this sounds unfair. The rap halfway through is hilarious, so if you’re having a bad day, stick it on for a laugh: “So fresh, so clean! / I could feed you a bunch of grapes!” If you need a fruit fix, Emberstone is your man. If you want good music, he’s not. If Amazing Love had professed to be tacky R’n’B, perhaps it would have more credit for being honest. But, to masquerade as soul is, quite frankly, insulting to all the great British soul performers currently storming the music scene. Richard, there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Please consult a guide to musical genre and try again. Or, better yet - don’t. Alice Stride

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Ross Haymes

A stylish leap forward

Thursday April 2 2009

Although the latest release from Manchester quartet The Words should receive some praise for its uplifting mix of forceful guitars and simple yet passionate vocals, the reality is this EP fails to deliver anything substantial that hasn’t been heard before. Whilst its tracks are by no means weak, they come across as generic and fail to separate themselves from the sort of sound every other struggling indie-rock band seem so eager to deliver. There are certain aspects of the EP where the band show real signs of promise and a sense of individuality, such as when things turn a bit heavier and the music becomes more than just background noise for the infectious lyrics delivered by frontman Ste Draper. However, these fleeting moments seem to be over all too quickly and

have a tendency to tail off rather than reach any form of dramatic crescendo that might capture our attention. ‘My Silver Line’, one of the strongest tracks on the release, particularly feels as if it lets itself down by failing to live up to the potential it sets up throughout its first half. It’s a song that has the ability to sound far more epic and impressive; but, unfortunately, lacks a depth that could be so easily achieved by simply strengthening its heavier sections and not settling for a quiet and relaxed ending. You gain a sense from this release that The Words have the potential to make a great record, but there just seems to be something missing from this effort. Everything is too standard and lacking in real diversity and variation. Although this gives us a clear image of what the band is about, it fails to excite us into wanting to find out more.

Jeremy Peel

With a music industry experiencing severe and constant change on top of an economy in seemingly unstoppable decline, it comes as no surprise to see artists becoming more innovative when it comes to making and releasing music. Leicester four-piece Shortwave Fade are one of the leaders of the pack in the web phenomenon that is Slice The Pie. This is a website where fans of a particular group invest their own money into the band. As a result, Shortwave Fade were able to record Deletia entirely funded by ‘shareholder’ contributions. However, their music is far less innovative. Deletia is reminiscent of a tamer New Order or a mellowed-out Stone Roses. In some respects they sound like Keane with guitars. That is not to say this album is an entire waste of their fans’ hard-earned cash. Deletia is

driven along by rousing synths and atmospheric guitars with some songs of genuine quality. Opener ‘Stay As You Are’ is representative of pure summery optimism, whilst ‘Lost In A Hurricane’ sounds like it originated from the late 1980s Manchester acid house scene. Meanwhile, ‘Now We Are Weapons’ is a dreamy psychedelic number that is able to stand up favourably to the inevitable New Order comparisons. However, Deletia is too full of insignificant filler songs to have a far-reaching impact. The likes of singles ‘Leave’ and ‘Too Late To Tell’ leave the listener in a state of drowsiness. In truth, many of the songs on this album are generic numbers which essentially sound the same as each other. It’s clear Shortwave Fade have potential, but listening to Deletia leaves you wanting and expecting a bit more. What their ‘shareholders’ will make of this album is another matter.

Throughout many of these tracks there’s a sense of barelycontained savagery: overpowered instruments are being used to

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Easy to erase

keyboard harmonies cross, clash and resolve with the same sense of odd wonder that has filled Radiohead albums of late.

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guitar line, a repetitive motif that sways drunkenly in and out of tune. Throughout, Parish’s guitar and

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Harvey and Parish have teamed up again to create an album of startling brilliance.

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You may well be familiar with Polly Jean Harvey, solo punk trailblazer of the ’90s and purveyor of discordant, grungy brilliance. But, you’d be forgiven for not punching the air in anticipation of a new joint effort with a bloke named John Parish. Parish, however, happens to have been a key background figure throughout Harvey’s career, providing a multi-instrumentalism and attention to detail that have often provided a perfect foil for her eccentricity. From the offset, it’s clear that A Woman A Man Walked By is a work of stunning and completely unsentimental vulnerability. In album opener ‘Black Hearted Love’, Harvey’s vocals are at once powerful and spectral, buoyed by the gorgeous discordance of the

play subtle, delicate music. Like the Pixies in their prime, Harvey and Parish have wisdom enough not to let this tension simply boil over, opening the floodgates every few tracks with an offbeat, guitar-led thrash. On the title track for instance, a bizarre lyric (“I want your fucking ass!”) is framed by fierce power chords and Harvey’s canine snarl, before segueing into a skittish instrumental. The terrifying ‘Pig Will Not’, meanwhile, is a propulsive rant in which Harvey literally barks like a dog. It’s astounding that, nearly 15 years into their careers, Harvey and Parish sound fresher and infinitely more dangerous than 99 per cent of the names dropped on indie-kids’ blogs so far this year. A Woman A Man Walked By is a work of ethereal, twisted beauty that will surely prompt newer oddindie pretenders (Bat for Lashes spring to mind) to hang up their violins in submission.

Feature

Astonishing warped beauty

The make-shift banner hung over the stage consists of The Rumble Strips’ name spelt in tools, cardboard, wood and foil, which pretty much sums up the band’s sound. It’s innocently thrown together, but confident, clean, and rough around the edges. Unfortunately though, despite sound-tracking adverts and feature-length Brit-flicks alike, it would seem barely anyone in England knows the name of this Devon-via-London five-piece. Opening with a new song from their soon-to-be released sophomore album, producer Mark Ronson’s ’60s obsession has clearly rubbed off on the band. Love him or loathe him, it’s impossible to dislike this brassedup piece of mellow bliss. Imagine a slowed down, more rounded ‘Positively 4th Street’ without

Live: Yo! Majesty @ Leadmill 19/03/2009

Live: Mono @ Corporation 24/03/2009

It may be freezing cold in the Leadmill tonight due to there being a crowd of only around 40 people, but it seems that nothing can stop one half of femme rap duo Yo! Majesty from getting halfnaked on stage and delivering an unstoppable and energetic performance. Yo! Majesty take to the stage in all their confident glory, and from hereon in it’s a continuous and unrelenting stream of in-yer-face hip-hop, which is only interjected by the occasional breakout into violent crunk-style dance moves by vocalist Shunda K. Shunda and her crowned accomplice Jwl B give it their all tonight, jumping on just about every available object, even stopping the performance at one point to tell us that there isn’t enough noise for them to perform. Even their backing musicians seem to make it their mission to scout out every available bar hanging from the ceiling and swing wildly from it in an attempt to get the crowd going. As the crowd willingly respond with a mass of cheering, Shunda

There’s something unfathomably refreshing about music a little more expressive than the factorypreset Casio keyboard bleeps and trouser-shaking ‘indie’ that’s smothered music for the past year. Japan’s Mono achieve poeticism 10 times greater than 99 per cent of bands, and most impressively it’s without a single lyric. Mono’s four members demurely took to the understated stage, greeted by palpable anticipation from the crowd: anticipation that was generously rewarded. The band played mostly seated and static, letting the music speak for itself. It’s entirely justified, since Mono’s music has a scope which beggars belief. The breadth of dynamics and textures, the intricacy of their arrangements, the emotion they convey, and the sheer epic size of soundscapes built of a billion subtleties means that it feels an injustice to refer to their work simply as ‘songs’. Delicately constructed and melancholic tracks swirled beautifully around the venue before crashing into monolithic

Games

Music Arts

Live: The Rumble Strips @ Plug 18/03/2009

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Feature

Under-appreciated, but grand

Rumble Strips front man Charlie Waller leads the intimate gig. Dylan’s nasal whine and you’re almost there. Yet this is one of only a handful of new songs on offer this evening, the most notable of which being the oddly cinematic ‘Daniel’ and a bouncy, up-tempo pop song,

sure to play against some quirky T-Mobile advert in the near future. Regardless of the promise on show, however, the atmosphere remains somewhat subdued, which probably influences the band’s decision to liven the place

Regal performers

Yo! Majesty’s shy and retiring Shunda K. decides that what the night could really do with is a bit of topless dancing, and so proceeds to get half naked to the slight surprise of everyone. This is, however, just an everyday occurrence for Yo! Majesty, as it’s normally members of their hometown Florida audience that jump up on stage and get naked with them. However, the cold weather seems to prevent the

Photo: Adam Dobson

audience from getting quite so involved tonight. As the performance draws to a close and Shunda finally decides to get dressed, you can’t help but think that if everyone realised how engaging and ruthless bands like Yo! Majesty can be on stage, perhaps Leadmill wouldn’t have to have been so empty tonight. Ross Haymes

Nostalgia propels the new

Fuse

Thursday April 2 2009

Live: The Maccabees @ Plug 20/03/2009

If The Maccabees had any fears about returning to the live stage, then the adoring reception granted to them by the packed Plug crowd should have instantly assuaged them. Uniting lad-rockers and indie Cindies, the fey and the hip, the band milk the arrival glory for all it’s worth, getting the technicians to fade and up the lights again for an encore of applause. And they hadn’t even struck a note. The few songs that they debut here tonight do little to separate the old from the new. You know that they want you to see ‘No Kind Words’ as their evolution into a moodier kind of beast, but the other new songs are virtually indistinguishable and

unremarkable from anything we can date around the time of 2007’s Colour It In. Familiar hits provoke crowd surges of devotion in the form of choruses bawled back at the band, in the process often making Orlando Weeks’ trembly vocals redundant. The oft-pretty, sentiment-loaded alt.pop they peddle (‘Toothpaste Kisses’, ‘Precious Time’ et. al.) doesn’t match their newly intense stage personas (save for Felix Week’s eager singing along and bounding about the stage).

And they don’t seem bold enough, two single releases into album two, to send Colour It In to the shadows, suggesting that, even unconsciously, the band know that their peaks are past, not present. Helen Lawson

Photo: Sam Bennett up with a few fan favourites. Said songs come thick and fast; the likes of a heartfelt ‘Time’ and a giddy ‘Clouds’ stir the crowd into a bubbling hotpot of restrained adoration, but it proves to be ‘Motorcycle’ which finally pries

open the collective’s vocal chords, the small throng bellowing back every word of Charlie Waller’s flying motorbike daydream. With the audience well and truly smitten, the band finish off proceedings with rousing versions of ‘Girls and Boys in Love’, ‘Alarm Clock’, and a spontaneous cover of Thin Lizzy’s ‘The Boys are Back in Town’. Although stumbling into Plug this evening may have been like crashing a parent and child bonding class - the 14+ age limit having cooked up a crowd of both pubescent teens and hip thirtysomethings - that’s what makes the band so endearing. Tonight, Waller and co. triumph on the strength of the songs alone, devoid of any hype or pull-quote pretension. Of course, it’s a shame more people can’t appreciate their worth but with this kind of appreciative fanbase, The Rumble Strips remain all the more appealing. Joe Christmas

Mono in stereo

walls of cacophonous anguished noise with astonishingly powerful effect. Each piece is so elegantly visual and synaesthetic that they were more akin to a piece of storytelling cinema than something produced by a four-piece guitar band. In contrast to their recorded output, which features complementary intricate orchestral arrangements, nearly all instrumentation was played live. Mono’s mastery was demonstrated by the fact that tracks could extend to 20 minutes long and keep the audience entirely enraptured. Apart from the enthusiastic and heartfelt applause, all just stood, gently swayed, and listened. All, that is, apart from one bloke who seemed to be some combination of drunk, high and mad, evidenced by the dance of someone with a bees’ nest down his pants. But at least he was moved. After a deeply impressive 90 minutes, the band dropped to a gentle piano-led decrescendo, hit a gong and then humbly left with a bow, and the crowd erupted. The fact that such a spellbinding gig was delivered without a single word simply made it staggeringly impressive. Adam Dobson

Tyneside blues Live: Detroit Social Club @ The Harley 19/03/2009 Despite the name, Detroit Social Club is a band with a very British sound: that of windswept afternoons in the town centre waiting for the pubs to get busy. They churn out the football terrace-esque anthems specialised in by the likes of Kasabian and Glasvegas, albeit without the aggression and swagger of the former. Powerful choruses and harmonious verses in every song give Detroit Social Club a trademark, a characteristic evident in every piece. On the flip side, this conspires to give them very little variety. Maybe they just came along five years too late, catching the tail-end of the backlash against

understated ‘indie’ bands with stupid fringes and waistcoats. However, playing live they capture some of the energy and individuality of their native north-east; a kind of raw, rustic feeling. They manage to capture something lost from guitar-based music: they play not for image or style, but the pure joy of playing. Playing live is when the sound of the blues creeps into their work. As with Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, you can hear pain brought in there, with echoes of Muddy Waters and Robert Johnson (albeit in a rather roundabout journey from the Mississippi to Middlesbrough) and evocative passion. It sounds clichéd and overdone, but in the case of Detroit Social Club it is most definitely true, and certainly a quality worth possessing. Max Glover

VARSITY Fantastic event soured by minority

Football reports Pages 4-5

Hockey reports Pages 12-13

Hallam take victory from plucky Uni side

Sam Gill let her university down. Comment By Jonathan Caldwell Another year, another tie. Following last year’s historic draw, hopes were high that this would be the year that Uni reclaimed the Varsity crown for the first time since 2003. At one stage on a truly unforgettable Finals Day, Uni needed just one point from the men’s tennis, men’s hockey, or Ultimate Frisbee to clinch victory, yet at every stage Hallam’s dogged refusal to give up their title denied them. The sheer will-to-win of both sides are what makes Varsity such a compelling spectacle for all involved, and the ferocity of the competition was never taken for granted by any of the competitors. It is just so unfortunate for all those who took part that this year’s Varsity could well be remembered for all the wrong reasons. The actions of an ignorant minority have threatened to undermine the hard work of hundreds of sportmen and women, passionate spectators, and all those who gave so much to organise the event. While it appears as though Hallam supporters may have been the cause of the disgraceful scenes in the late afternoon, there were times throughout the day when the interaction between the two sets of fans went beyond friendly rivalry and became personal abuse. ‘Banter’ between opposing supporters is an acceptable part of sport, but when it becomes abusive, or even physically violent, then something has gone seriously wrong. As such, it is astonishing to hear the Hallam Sports Officer, Sam Gill, defending the actions of those involved in the fighting as merely ‘competitive rivalry’. Her mind-numbing stupidity beggars belief, and as a representative of her university she is disgracing all those who have worked so hard on her behalf in recent weeks. This year’s event had so many highlights, such as the the unexpected victories of the Netball and Athletics Clubs for Uni, Let’s hope that Varsity 2009 is remembered for its sporting highs, rather than the sad low that tarnished the end.

Hallam push forward once again during their Varsity victory over a hard-working Uni outfit. By Matt Duncan Rugby league Uni 14 Hallam 26 University of Sheffield men’s rugby league team fell to defeat against Sheffield Hallam on a bright and breezy afternoon in the Varsity match at Don Valley Stadium on Sunday, March 15. Hallam kicked off in front of a good sized and vocal crowd. All the early pressure came from the men in maroon, and after five minutes Uni were forced back over their

Photo: Helen Munro

own line. From the resulting drop out, Hallam had two sets of six which in the end were defended well by the Uni defence. Uni were the first to get on the scoreboard after Hallam were penalised for a spear tackle. Uni kept the ball tight, and on the 20 minute mark they managed to bundle the ball over the line. The conversion hit the post, but the score gave the Uni fans the chance to engage in a bit of banter with their rivals. However, the good mood was soon dulled when, after 28 minutes, Hallam scored their first try. The Uni defence missed three

tackles to allow James King to go over. The conversion was missed to leave the score at 4-4. Two minutes later, Uni thought they had the lead again, but they were held up when they managed to get the ball over the line. This failure to convert came back to haunt Uni as, on the stroke of half-time, Hallam again went over, this time courtesy of Jamie Cuttle. The try was converted and Hallam led 10-4 at the break. Uni came right back into the match straight after the break with a try by Matt Robinson within 60 seconds of the restart. However Hallam responded by

scoring a breakaway try through Tom Willey to make the score 16-8. Uni again responded, Rob Verder going over to take the score back to 16-14. This galvanized the Black and Golds, but for all their pressure they could not find a way through the Hallam defence. The effort exerted by Uni took its toll in the final five minutes, with Hallam scoring two late tries through Dan Townend and Christian Jacobs. These gave the score a one-sided tilt which was perhaps unfair on Uni after what had been a tight affair throughout.

side are known, but they struggled to build on that glimmer of hope as Hallam yet again pulled away into the lead. As the game began to peter out, Hallam cruised into a 12-3 lead with not long to go. The Phat ’Eds left it too late as they grabbed a fourth and fifth, but Hallam secured the victory with a 13-5 scoreline. Uni’s captain Iain Hannah was understandably frustrated by the result, but pleased with the effort shown. “I’m disappointed. Going into the match I thought it would be pretty even, but they started too strong and it took us a little while to get into it, and there was too much damage done in the first half. But I can’t fault the effort.”

Uni’s Ultimate Frisbee side couldn’t handle Hallam. Photo: Olivia Lightfoot

Hallam coast as Phat ’Eds fall short By Oliver Hughes Ultimate frisbee Uni 5 Hallam 13 Malachi McGloin inspired an unproblematic Ultimate Frisbee victory over Uni as Hallam coasted to a 13-5 victory. Hallam dominated the early exchanges as they comfortably sped into a 5-0 lead, with skipper McGloin and Craig Moore giving them an early advantage. Neat passing and timely runs ultimately proved to be the decisive factor behind the result as Uni lacked their counterparts’ clinical build-up. Joe Crawford pulled a point back for the ‘Phat ’Eds’, as the Uni

Games Arts

You’ve got red on you. A phrase that comes to mind when playing Madworld. but the main goal is to defeat the boss and move on. Points are earned not only by kills, but also completing specific level goals, such as saving prostitutes or collecting items. Of course, the main focus is on killing, and Madworld obliges by also giving Bloodbath challenges, where points are awarded for killing enemies using a particular environmental hazard. These are amongst the most varied and weird killing methods in the game, ranging from firework tubes to jet turbines. The most famous is known simply as ‘Man Darts’, and requires you to smash

Death and the healing Review: Chinatown Wars

James Cook

Sam Robinson

Fuse

dealing sidequest is a brilliant distraction which should really be included in future versions. The driving has also been tweaked to give a more arcade feel, and police chases now require you to run them off the road, Burnout style. It is far from a perfect system, but is less flawed than that in GTA IV. GTA: Chinatown Wars is better than it has any right to be. The clever DS additions, well written storyline and sheer amount of content here makes this a must buy for any DS owner mature enough to play it. It may well be the best DS game ever released.

Laziness, or part of a greater plan? Downloadable content seems like a logical step forward for gaming. But are these packs just a way of making easy money? Back in the day, expansion packs used to come and go, offering storylines, units and other instruments of death for half the price and, in most cases, half of the original game. Not quite a sequel, but still enough to keep you occupied. Of course, expansions never really caught on with consoles as sequels were so much easier. But when online became more readily available and hard drives became standard the battlefield changed. DLC formed. It started with simple content. For example in Oblivion, gamers could kit out their horses in armour for a few points. Sure, it wasn’t forced on you - and in a way it was a waste of money considering you could get a horse that was invulnerable - but the option was there if you wanted to make your adventures through Tamriel less mundane. Consequently the popularity of this extra content has led to the exploitation of gamers. Rather than offering new content, developers have shown a tendency to produce content that, on face value, should have been included as part of the game. Examples include the length of

the game in comparison to its cost (a la Knothole Island in Fable 2), to modes which should have been part of the game when it was first released such as with Resi 5. DLC can be good, but the trend of offering little content for quarter the cost of a full game is damaging. Games can be rushed if developers know they can add bits on afterwards and make more money from the ‘additional’ content. Then, as a result of this, gamers feel less inclined to buy said content if they feel they are being ripped off. It’s a shame really, as DLC if used properly can be a useful tool in invigorating fanbases. Valve’s choice to release downloadable content for free for Team Fortress 2 and Left 4 Dead shows it’s not about the money, but more the sheer fun that can be had from pouncing onto Zoey from the rooftops. Games don’t necessarily need DLC, but it makes console gaming much more interesting. Sure, PC gamers can ignore all this as they’ve had a strong free mod base from the beginning, but it is the console gamers who are at the mercy of developers looking for an easy money making scheme. In an ideal world console gamers shouldn’t have to pay for this DLC, but it’s the work of Microsoft and other developers who are turning games into businesses and not products of entertainment.

Thursday April 2 2009

included, and while changes have been made, parts of the city are instantly recognisable. The game also utilises a celshaded style and a camera angle somewhere between the original top-down approach and GTA III, both of which fit the DS perfectly. The only notable GTA trademarks which are not here are the radio stations and cutscenes, but their absence is a small price to pay. DS specific enhancements all utilise the touch screen to great effect, and feel like natural additions to the franchise. Stealing a parked car now involves completing a minigame before the alarm goes off, the GPS system works flawlessly, and the drug

Jack Package

Game damage for easy money Feature: The problem with DLC

It’s gone back to its roots and it’s never been better.

relatively short length of the campaign, but those with a thing for high scores will replay obsessively. Completing the game once also unlocks hard mode, which is sadistically difficult and will challenge everyone. Overall, Madworld is a straightforward beat-em-up, but one of the finest released in years. It is also amongst the best action games available on Wii, and an amazing example of what developers can do on the platform with some effort. This is essential for those not easily offended.

Many people feel that GTA IV was a step backwards for the series. By sacrificing the comic storyline for something more believable, the feel of the game was very different to the beloved GTA trilogy. Now comes GTA: Chinatown Wars, a DS exclusive set in GTA IV era Liberty City, but with the light hearted tone of GTA III. It is also, coincidentally, the only 18 rated game in the system, and happens to be one of the very best DS games out there. Chinatown Wars follows the story of Huang Lee, a spoilt rich kid from China travelling to Liberty City to deliver the ancient sword of his recently murdered father to his uncle Kenny. In typical GTA style he gets robbed and left for dead, giving him no choice but to work with his uncle to avenge his father’s death, win back the sword and reclaim his family honour. The story is suitably ridiculous, but it is backed up with some terrific tongue-in-cheek writing and colourful characters which will keep you amused right from the start. The comedy which was lacking in GTA IV is very much present here. Make no mistakes about it, this is classic GTA gameplay reborn on the DS, and Rockstar Leeds have somehow made a host of DS-centric changes which enhance Chinatown Wars more than enough to distract from any graphical downgrades. The most impressive aspect is just how much has been squeezed onto a DS cartridge. Two-thirds of the GTA IV Liberty City has been

enemies at a giant dartboard with a baseball bat. Bullseye! It isn’t all good though. The inclusion of a lives system forces conservative play at the higher levels, but it is slightly irritating to slog through a level and get wiped out by a huge boss. The camera system is slightly awkward, and has a tendency to face the wrong way at key moments. Also, certain parts of the level design can be repetitive, especially the instruments of death. These are just minor complaints when compared with the quality on offer here. The most significant problem with Madworld is the

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Ever since the launch of the Wii, core gamers have been complaining about the lack of mature content for the system, and its overreliance on a casual fanbase. Well, the wait is officially over; Madworld is one of the most stylish and violent videogames ever made, and it’s Wii exclusive. On top of this, it might just be good enough to singlehandedly convince gamers that the Wii is a console for them as well. Madworld delivers a fresh take on the beat’em-up which succeeds on almost every level. In terms of story, Madworld is surprisingly good. You play as Jack, a gravel-voiced, chain smoking anti-hero, competing in the TV show Death Watch, set in Varrigan City. In order to win, Jack must climb to the top of the rankings by defeating contestants ranked higher than he is. While this sounds simple, the story quickly develops into something deeper, and will keep you interested until the very end. It is impossible to think of Madworld without considering its unique graphical style. The majority of the game is presented in black and white, with the only colour being the red of blood. Couple the colour scheme with

cel-shading, and the result is a stunning piece of eye candy which has been designed around the relative lack of graphical power in the Wii. Simply put, this is one of the best looking games on the Wii right now. Putting style over substance is an accusation which has been thrown at Madworld since it was first announced, and it’s nice to see that this really isn’t the case. The gameplay initially is a feast of brutality and death, as you rampage through pathetically easy levels finding ways to slaughter waves of faceless bad guys. There’s something insanely satisfying about forcing a tyre over a guy’s head, shoving a few caution signs through him and then chucking him repeatedly against a wall covered in large spikes. The best thing is that the game rewards you heavily for doing this, giving incentives to always find the most unique and complex ways of putting someone out of their misery. However, levels quickly get more difficult, so players will find the instant-kill chainsaw attack to be more and more of a friend as the going gets tough. Levels in Madworld give you a time limit in which to obtain a certain number of points, and this unlocks the end of level boss. There are perks along the way, such as extra weapons and lives,

Music

Review: Madworld

Feature

He’s half man and half machine

Feature Music Games Arts Screen

The best of the fest novelty hair… Sound familiar? Unfortunately, the more-than-passing conceptual similarities with current comic darlings the Boosh only served to heighten the weakness of their material and lack of theatrical skill. Far from leaving the audience gasping for breath, the team at best received scattered laughter; although I admit I did leave the Raynor Lounge asking why.

Review: Sheffield Student Comedy Festival I’ve long been a relatively vocal fan of our acclaimed improvisational comedians The Shrimps. The troupe has been entertaining us seemingly incessantly for the two years since its inception; its members took Edinburgh and Grin Up North by storm, and secured our Performance Of The Year for 2008 by a voting landslide. This March, they pushed the boundaries of their hold on the Union still further in congregating the brightest and best of the country’s young comedians for the UK’s first ever all-student comedy showcase. The 21 acts involved ranged from those by our own The Marvellous Dorians and Neil Bradbury (who was lauded as a Grin Up North New Act Finalist) to the Cambridge Footlights, Leeds Tealights and Edinburgh Review, to BBC7’s Four Sad Faces. They constituted two full days’ (and one evening’s) overlapping onslaught of performances and workshops, and rendered the £10 weekend fee negligible. Even with such high expectations as were my own, The Festival’s execution was breathtaking. The standards were in general ludicrously high and, in the six years I’ve been at Sheffield, I’ve never seen the Union so packed at a weekend. To my great chagrin, the constraints of the space-time continuum (more powerful even than venues’ effortless sell-outs) prevented the possibility of us watching every performance. Those below stood out for one reason or another, and I curse my wordcount for not allowing us to do them justice. From Sheffield, ‘thought thief’ Peter Antoniou was exceptional. His mind-reading show has graced the Union severally over the last year, but this set in Coffee Revolution has been my favourite. In addition to always-impressive feats of perception, Pete’s astute observational banter rivalled the best of the stand-ups’, and warmed his spectators to him instantly.

We were treated to an absolutely flawless show of professionalism

Festival highlights Durham Wit Tank (top) and Le Navet Bête (below). The inherently audienceinvading nature of his act is always impressive but also, unfathomably, never intimidating. His is one of the few festival acts you’ll easily be able to see again, and I strongly recommend it. The Marvellous Dorians’ Peggy,

Champion Of The World was billed as a show to leave us ‘gasping for breath with laughter, shaking [our] heads and asking why’. The two protagonists went on a whimsical adventure, featuring cultish magic, impromptu musical performance, absurd characters, costumes and

Uncreative writing classes

Fuse

Thursday April 2 2009

Review: Creative writing workshop with Sophie King

Jane Bidder, a.k.a. Sophie King.

Jane Bidder (who writes using the pen name Sophie King) came to Sheffield this month as part of the Between The Pages Book Club’s festival. Having published several best-selling books and worked as a successful journalist, she came to impart her knowledge on the budding authors of the University. Jane talked at length about how an author can find his or her voice, offering practical advice on generating original ideas and getting published. Her own success lies in novels about ordinary suburban life; light hearted reads which tell the story of the bored housewife or the busy working mum. During the workshop, we took part in a range of exercises intended to spark creative thought and to stir up ideas. Whilst these were useful to a degree, the session raised some questions for me regarding to what extent creative writing may be taught. It seems impossible to force good writing, and ultimately qualifications do not equal published novelists. Jane’s

involvement with the ‘chick-lit’ genre also meant that the ideas we discussed were all fairly safe, a world away from the excitement and rebelliousness of some contemporary authors. Jane emphasised the fact that we all see the world through different eyes, and that this unique perspective is essential to writing something original. However, I don’t feel that the content of the session was concurrent with this view; every idea that was put forward would not look out of place in one of Bidder’s novels. Ultimately, the concept of a creative writing workshop in itself seems problematic. One which is led by an author will undoubtedly be influenced by the stylistic notions of that person, and this actually detracts from the process of creativity. Whilst it was helpful to meet like-minded people, and Jane’s practical advice was clearly useful, I found myself wishing for ‘a room of one’s own’ in which to find my own voice. Heather Taylor

Disappointment was also to be found in The Edinburgh Review, which, although conceptually sound, was rather inexpertly performed, but the visiting Reviews en masse contributed some of the weekend’s most sparkling entertainment. Perhaps the most illustrious name in student comedy is the Cambridge Footlights, whose past members have had a prolific effect in shaping modern British comedy. With so many well-known names in their annals, expectations for the current line-up were high. Fortunately, the Footlights more than lived up to their hype; we were treated to an absolutely flawless show with a level of professionalism rarely found in student theatre (comic or otherwise). The show was comprised of subtly satirical sketches punctuated with solo performances of comic songs, stand-up, and dirty performance poetry. It was clear that a large amount of work went into the construction of the show, not just in terms of theatricality but also in the quality of their material. The opening sketch, the story of a maverick secondary school teacher up against AQA, was particularly memorable. For me the lowest point of the show was the introduction of the chlamydia fairy but, although this was the least explicitly funny offering from the Footlights, it could equally have been the highlight of a more lacklustre troupe. The Durham Wit Tank’s

performance was on a par with that of the Footlights, but their style was freer and more experimental; rather than trying to prove how intelligent and funny they are, these boys seemed more concerned with proving that they can make you forget yourself with laughter as they performed their immature yet brilliantly realised brand of sketch comedy. Highlights included a grown-up Jack (of beanstalk fame) getting into a fight with his flatmate James (of the giant peach), a song about the beauty of synonyms, a oneman rendition of a Powerpuff Girls episode, and a horrendous mix-up between a turtle and a Subway sandwich. For me, however, the act that truly astonished was Plymouth graduates’ Le Navet Bête, performing Serendipity. Promises of breathtaking acrobatics and grotesque buffoonery were not belied, but didn’t do anything near justice to the highly nuanced and grippingly intelligent hour that followed. Serendipity peppered joyfully harmonious narrative, melody and choreography into the midst of a chaotic onslaught of acrobatics that should force those who suppose clowning dead to reconsider. The group rendered their traditional discipline new, redressing it as shambolic, postmodern and sophisticatedly selfreferential. The four performers seemed ragged caricatures of a ring-master, mime, drag queen and Smollettor Beano-esque schoolboy, and positioned twisted fly-in-my-soup jokes and topical observations against references to Darwinism, the chaos theory, and nineteenthcentury melodrama. Moreover, however, Serendipity was stomach-crunchingly funny, and the performers’ acting, timing, and sheer physical dexterity left their audience agog. If this weekend exemplifies what The Shrimps can pull together with limited resources, we can only implore the Union to donate more venues when the Festival returns next year. For the graduating Shrimps, this will be quite a legacy to leave. Marc Jerome and Hannah Kirby

The History of Love changed my life Testimonial Nicole Krauss creates the pages of a book within a book to etch out the smallest quirks and the most consuming fears in the histories of the people touched by words on paper. Postmodernism at its best, the novel constructs the reality of an old man and the diary of a young girl against the beautiful intricacy of a created literary world. A frail man with beautiful handwriting who lives in a tree; a girl in blue tights at the zoo; a man crippled by a fear he may be made out of glass. The story explores the difficulty of self expression through its interesting

use of isolated sentences on blank pages, creating an almost handwritten feel to the narrative. Krauss conjures an incredible sense of tangibility within the characters by their crippling honesty and examines fundamental questions along the way; a genuine portrayal of the colours and shades that paint a person. Victoria Imrie

You mentioned your drama teacher; is that where you started, at school? I used to go to lessons outside of school; I was at Stagecoach when I was eight until I was 14, but then I did start doing school plays. When I came to Uni I joined suTCo straight away, but it’s always been a hobby. I’ve never done anything professionally. Is that something you’ve ever considered? I do intend to go into the theatre

professionally, but not as an actor. I don’t think I could hack it! This year’s been more about production for me, and working on the committee. Acting can be more fun, but I see production as something I could do day-in, dayout. But you still enjoy performing. I still love it! We did the 24-Hour Musical [The Wizard of Oz] last week, and that was amazing.

This picture is from Magnificence. Can tell me a bit about that that? That was a play I really enjoyed. It was directed by my friend Chris Birks, during second year. It was about active socialist revolutionaries, and I played a retired and dying Tory MP, who was very eccentric and very gay. It was really good fun, and a really good character role to play.

Even through what must have been the ridiculously tense atmosphere? That’s even more fun. With the 24-Hour Musical it’s not ever quite as serious. It’s not like the other productions; we know we’re not exactly going to get a

You count yourself as both an actor and director, and they’re obviously very different disciplines. Which do you enjoy more at the moment? Anyone who says they don’t get off on loads of people watching them, and telling them afterwards

Highly strung and perfectly balanced

Guessing Games by Alex Davis

Poem

I guess it just hit me, right between the eyes, that it’s the street that I’ve been drowning with a hundred thousand sighs.

Holbrook and Thompson were impeccable.

Photo: Thomas Jenkins

giving us a weird and unpredictable performance as the Valet, with some amusing dialogue between him and Garcin, but he could have done even more with this, giving hell’s new arrivals even more reason to feel paranoid and threatened. This production could barely be faulted; some of the lines were a little rushed, perhaps. Nonetheless, the highly strung characters were certainly felt. Throughout the main body of the piece, there was a perfect balance of humour and unsettling drama to leave the audience uncertain whether to laugh or despair at the final realisation; they are to spend eternity together, and they’d “better get on with it”. Emily Hansed

through a window by the open door, stealing colour, leaving more than I can screw a handle on. here, now, life’s a blur. I guess I just can’t say – in meagre words – what it meant, to always have a taxi idling, waiting to pick me up. I guess that’s just right.

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the unattractive upholstery she simultaneously infuriates and intrigues her companions. Aston’s characterisation moves the audience to realise Sartre’s message, “hell is other people”, as she unintentionally frustrates the others and finally becomes manipulative, playing the characters against each other. This front was dispersed as we finally learn why Estelle is in hell, after repeated claims that she doesn’t know. Her horrific actions of killing her illegitimate child to avoid social disgrace are revealed with an emotionally driven, shrill and shocking delivery. We feel the guilt derived from this and the subsequent suicide of her lover, and empathise with the sudden disturbing release of this secret. Ben Williamson succeeded in

Maybe I should have tried some of them on you, before the borealis breezed out, straight into the black and blue,

Thursday April 2 2009

This is not how we, or the characters in Sartre’s famous play, imagine hell to be. The curtains parted to reveal a spacious and open set. The walls were a very pale cream, with a pattern of black flowers, and the brightly coloured furniture was arranged neatly around a grey mantelpiece. By undermining expectations as soon as the play began, the director established the uncertain and entertaining exploration of what hell means and how it is our own minds that punish us. The entire performance remains in this room, the valet bringing a total of three people, where they are to be trapped for eternity. Such a simple and bright room seems to provoke a deeper paranoia in the first character to appear, Joseph Garcin. Played by Luke Holbrook, this is a man riddled with guilt for his acts of cowardice and betrayal of his wife, yet he remains in denial for these actions until his own tormented mind, and his companions, force him to face the truth. Holbrook’s was, at times, a humorous performance, showing the passions and frustrations embedded in Garcin. The moments when Garcin revealed his inner

turmoil were therefore even more enthralling, as Holbrook allowed emotion to power through, leaving a deep impression on us and the other characters. Holbrook, and the actress playing Inez Serrano, Selina Thompson, worked impeccably together, partnering Garcin’s volatile temperament with Inez’s infuriating calm. Thompson took her time over her lines, directing them at the others with confidence, clearly enjoying her open cruelty. Another example of strong direction was the visible build up of tension in this character, remaining forcibly stable throughout the other characters’ explosions of guilt, until, unable to compose herself, Inez gives several powerful outbursts of malicious torment against the other two. The faultless characterisation of the performance paired with the strong actors created a tremendous experience. There is no doubt, however, that Lydia Aston’s performance as Estelle Rigault completely stole the show. As soon as she entered, there was a change in energy on stage with some refreshing comedy. The ridiculously posh voice and spoilt nature of Estelle created a perfect contrast with Inez and Garcin. Initially seeming untroubled by her fate in hell - apart from

Interview: Hannah Kirby

Review: suTCo - No Exit

You say you’ve always been involved; did you ever find the society intimidating? In terms of people thinking we’re cliquey? I can totally see it. If you’re working on a play together you do get very close. I can see how people can look in and think it’s inaccessible. There are people who come to me and say they audition a lot and get nowhere and that’s unfortunate, but it’s not just about people acting in a play. There are always other ways in: acting’s just one of them. I’m always happy to meet people to help them find ways to get involved. We’re not as cliquey as we look. But we are all luvvies.

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To start, Tom, can you tell me a little about how you feel about acting? Acting is fun, most importantly: no-one acts if they don’t enjoy it. It’s a way of expressing yourself, but through an alter ego; you can explore different parts of yourself that you don’t exercise in real life. That’s why I enjoy character acting. It’s always different, but you put something of yourself into it. There’s no point always asking a director what you’re supposed to be doing, and how you’re supposed to be doing it. You’ve got to see what you can bring to it; how you’d react in different

situations. My drama teacher used to say to me that if you’re supposed to be crying you’re not trying to cry, you’re trying not to cry: you shouldn’t act like a character, but be the character.

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Tom Shallaker: Actor/Director

Photo: Robert Denmark Jones

For the last year you’ve been suTCo’s chair. How do feel about having been on both sides of the process in terms of the committee, too? I can’t really remember not being a central part of it; it’s always been a part of what I do at Uni. Chairing has been an honour: suTCo does some really good student theatre, and it almost runs itself. I love seeing things come out of nothing, seeing things through from inexperience to an end product. Most people haven’t directed before, and seeing a show come from that is amazing.

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Tom, “very eccentric and very gay”, in Magnificence.

So it ends up a little like devising theatre? Yes. Working on any new writing, you can play around with the characters. If you’re working on a new character you really have to bring something of yourself to it. When I was directing It’s Alright, Ma we’d sit around discussing the play all the time, thinking about the characters. That flexibility to play around with it and expand it is one of the best parts of workshopping. The whole point of student theatre is that it’s a system of trial and error, of making mistakes. You’re not realistically going to put on anything of a professional standard, although that’s always the goal. If you’re going to make mistakes now’s the time to learn; that’s true of Uni generally. And student theatre ought to be fun.

that they were amazing, is lying. I’d almost forgotten that; last week, and in my first year, I remember people I didn’t know came up to me when I was just walking down the street to tell me they’d seen my plays… It was like being a mini celebrity! The production team works just as hard, if not harder, and that’s great, but I forgot that buzz of being seen; of being in the limelight.

Music

polished performance. It’s much more about improvisation, like workshopping a play: scenes with my friends just go on longer than they really should because we’re enjoying what we’re doing with the parts. It’s much more fun.

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‘We’re not as cliquey as we look. But we are all luvvies’

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Benefit of foresight Feature: Summer 2009 The recent sunny weather might well have fooled you into thinking summer has come early this year. But rest assured, the only true way to distinguish the summer period is with the arrival of a steady stream of blockbusters. This year’s crop seems to be an altogether more exciting bunch than the class of 2008 (excluding The Dark Knight) and in this blissfully George Lucas-free summer it’s the turn of several other franchises to make or break their reputations. Arriving on Friday, May 1, we have X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The title tells you pretty much all you need to know, and the most interesting character from the already pretty decent X-Men trilogy getting his own film can’t really be a bad thing, can it?

Hugh Jackman seems more than capable of carrying a huge blockbuster Whilst Wolverine might suffer from the lack of a big name ensemble cast that its forbears enjoyed, Hugh Jackman seems more than capable of carrying a huge blockbuster on his shoulders, so fingers crossed this re-raises the bar after the comparatively disappointing third instalment. Arriving on Friday, May 8, is the one that has fan boys worldwide gritting their teeth and setting their phasers to kill. That’s right, it’s J.J. Abrams’ reboot of Star Trek. The new film sees Chris Pine taking over from William Shatner as a considerably greener Captain Kirk, detailing how he first got a shot at the big chair. By casting a younger, sexier, bunch to fill the space boots of the original Enterprise crew and ramping up the action quota considerably, this looks like the potential big hit of the summer. If so, you’d better get used to it, as a hit means two sequels are on the way. Does anyone remember that book that caused quite a stir a few years back; it had something to do with Da Vinci? Anyone remember its superior sequel? Perhaps not, but anyway, the guys who made The Da Vinci Code

Clockwise from top-left: Wolverine, Star Trek, Angels and Demons, Drag Me To Hell, Inglourious Basterds, G.I. Joe, Harry Potter, Transformers. film did, and as a result, Angels and Demons arrives on Friday, May 15. Angels and Demons once again sees Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon, but this time he gets on the wrong side of the Illuminati and becomes embroiled in a web of grisly murder and intrigue. Despite remaining in the shadow of its predecessor, Angels and Demons offers a less convoluted and ultimately far more gripping plot, so with a bit of luck this will also translate into a better film.

It’s about time that someone made a G.I. Joe film - this could be special Jumping off the blockbuster bandwagon momentarily comes Drag Me To Hell, an oddly placed horror spectacular from Sam Raimi. While a film with such a delightful title might seem a better

companion to Halloween-fare such as Saw VI, the trailer suggests something to get excited about. With the hilarious premise of a creepy old woman being refused a mortgage extension, the guilty banker in question comes under a curse which will ultimately - you guessed it - drag her to hell. As a number of people probably wouldn’t mind seeing a banker getting it in the neck in the current economic climate, we can expect this one to cause a stir. Next up is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on Friday, June 26. Despite the previous instalment receiving general acclaim, one could feasibly argue that actually it was a bit crap and not a patch on the old cartoons. Again, the trailer has been working its magic, and with a stronger focus on the baddies, it looks like it could be second time lucky for a potentially great franchise. Friday, July 17, sees the return of everyone’s favourite juvenile wizard in the adaptation of the sixth book. The rule with Harry Potter

films seems to be an increase in quality as time goes on, although initial test screenings of the Half Blood Prince have reportedly left fans cold.

Expect an utterly ludicrous plot and a healthy does of mindless mayhem Slightly worrying, as the conclusion is perhaps the most poignant in the entire series, meaning any wrong footing could prove fatal. Here’s hoping Daniel Radcliffe et. al. don’t buck the trend. Friday, August 7, sees the release of G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra. Ridiculous subtitle aside, it’s about time someone made a G.I. Joe film, and with a solid cast to support it this could be something special. Billed as a cross between X-Men and James Bond rather than a straight up war movie, expect an

utterly ludicrous plot and a healthy dose of mindless mayhem in true blockbuster fashion. Saving the best till last, Quentin Tarantino’s latest work is released on Friday, August 21. Set in World War Two, Inglourious Basterds depicts Brad Pitt’s motley bunch of American mercenaries on a mission to brutally murder Nazis. With Eli Roth (the sicko responsible for Hostel) involved, Inglourious Basterds could potentially outdo Kill Bill on the fake blood front, but with Tarantino’s knack for spinning a decent yarn around said spurting, who cares? It’s hard to see how this could fail to be anything other than brilliant. Of course, summer 2009 has far more to offer than just the above, with no doubt several other classics on the horizon. Hopefully, however, this has provided a useful snapshot of what’s in store, and will most likely be where the wise money is spent. Jamie Cusworth

Strength of character helps Phoenix fly

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Thursday April 2 2009

Review: Two Lovers

If you take a look at the writer/ director James Gray’s last three films, Little Odessa, The Yards and most recently We Own The Night, it appears that he has nicely nestled himself in the dramatic crime-thriller pigeon-hole. This film again sees Gray make the familiar move of collaborating with Joaquin Phoenix, but the film title alone marks the departure from his directorial comfort zone. Male viewers who are expecting another feature which will satisfy their high testosterone levels will be left, for the most part, disappointed. Those expecting a typical tale of romance are also off the mark, as this is a film which avoids clichés and instead

offers much more. Set in Brooklyn, the film centres around a depressed amateur photographer, Leonard (Phoenix), retreating back to his Jewish parents’ home following a distressing break-up with his fiancée and a suicide attempt. He quickly meets Sandra (Vinessa Shaw), the pretty and caring daughter of a Jewish businessman and friend of Leonard’s parents who are eager to set them up. By chance, Leonard also meets another woman. Michelle (Gwyneth Paltrow) is beautiful but volatile, lacking in direction and feeling lost in the Big Apple. Should Leonard seek love and protection from Sandra? Or runaway with Michelle to escape the entrapment which they both feel?

The film’s major strength lies in its characters; Phoenix is excellent in playing the multi-faceted Leonard, portraying his anguish, vulnerability and shy

charm, but it is in his obsession with Michelle where Phoenix is masterful. Paltrow also impresses in a role which has to be considered atypical for her as an actress. An extra dimension is added by the supporting cast who enable Gray to explore more than mere complications of love. Leonard’s mother (Isabella Rossellini), is the most notable; she is torn between wanting to protect her mentally frail son and wanting him to live his own life. There is an extremely evident new approach to directing by

Gray. Gone is the hard-hitting, ultra-dramatic directing of his crime-thrillers, and in its place is an elegant approach which, although a little slow-moving at points, gives the film a real beauty and intimacy. By loosening the directorial reigns the actors have been given more freedom in their approach, allowing them to almost improvise with the well-crafted script. With the release of Two Lovers we see the opening of one door as another closes. Gray has showcased his versatility as a director and his ability to succeed in more than one genre, whilst the stellar performance from Phoenix, according to the man himself, will also be his last. He will be sorely missed by modern cinema. Mark Clement

Review: Knowing

John has given in to numerology; finding imaginary reason to number patterns.

The panic seems to be substituted at other times for biblical references It seems as if this ridicule is deserved until John meets Diana

(Rose Byrne), and her daughter, Abby (also played by Lara Robinson), who are descendants of Lucinda, the writer of this elaborate code. John and Diana begin to think that their children are somehow linked to the apocalyptic prophecy, and they stick together to do everything they can to understand their powers before it is too late. Praise must go to Nicolas Cage for his performance as he successfully portrays a rational

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Nicolas Cage clearly hadn’t bothered to watch the last four seasons of Lost.

Arts

What started out as a film exploring how we deal with disaster, and how we perceive such events as either random or pre-determined, turns into a predictable sci-fi tragedy. But then again, I’m siding with the idea that such events just happen and there is nothing that we, or other forms of life, could do about it. If there is one thing this film does really well, then it is providing interesting talking points at the very least.

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Is the universe predetermined, or is everything simply random?

It ambles towards preposterous spiritual fantasy from sci-fi disaster He is a man who has just lost his wife in a hotel fire, and he is struggling to happily look after his young son, Caleb (Chandler Canterbury). The opening of a time capsule at Caleb’s school begins to change his views. While all the children receive drawings from the

man who fights with his spiritual beliefs in an effort to try and comprehend the events before him. Rose Byrne is also instrumental to the film’s success. It is great to see someone of such talent - who has been relatively missed out over the past 10 years - acting so well. Knowing is, therefore, not a bad film. It’s just some elements of the film do not fit. The panic caused by the apocalypse seems to be substituted at times for a film laced with otherworldly beings and biblical references.

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Alex Proyas’ latest film takes philosophical debate and applies it to the most extreme events imaginable. However, while it starts out as a strong sci-fi disaster, it slowly ambles towards a preposterous spiritual fantasy. The debate in question is the philosophers’ favourite: is the universe predetermined, or is everything random? A complex enough question, you may think. Now apply it to the apocalypse. How could we know, and how would we react, if the world was going to end? Professor John Koestler (Nicolas Cage) believes in random theory; or, in his clichéd words, “shit happens.”

capsule, Caleb receives a random page of numbers. These numbers were frantically scribbled out in 1959 by a troubled girl named Lucinda (Lara Robinson). John becomes enthralled by the meaning of these numbers and spends endless amounts of time working out the prophecy that these numbers contain. His obsession is ridiculed by his colleague Phil Beckman (Ben Mendelsohn), who assumes that

Feature

Dealing with the apocalypse

Ashley Scrace

Find better things to do Tender romance Review: Better Things

The main characters and plot are inferior to the gripping tales of the minor ones

However, this is also the film’s greatest downfall. It becomes so absorbed in its prolonged misery that it is simply too much for an audience to process, especially when it is aggressively delivered on a large, unavoidable screen and through loud speakers. Hopkins explained that part of the editing process was linking together the 150 unconnected scenes that he wrote for the film. This results in a discordant story line which is often hard to follow. One of the inspiring aspects,

The film poignantly explores the harsh realities of life - but this is its downfall

Melissa Gillespie

Harold and Maude is a film about the passionate relationship between a man and a woman. Pretty standard, you may think. Not quite; Harold (Bud Cort) is 19 and Maude (Ruth Gordon) is nearing 80. This sounds distasteful, but, somehow, it is not. Quirky, honest and charmingly funny, Harold and Maude questions assumptions about life, death, and love through the eyes of two fascinating characters. Harold is a confused and startlingly pale young man, detached from his wealthy mother and obsessed with faking his own suicide. The film opens with him apparently hanging himself; his mother walks in on him and doesn’t bat an eyelid. He is something of an existentialist and fascinated by death, swapping his mother’s gift of a Jaguar for a hearse and driving it to various funerals. Fittingly, it is at a funeral where Harold and Maude first meet. Maude is a wonderfully bizarre character: ceaselessly energetic, with a passion for hijacking other people’s cars and a love of art and music. They embark upon an intense relationship, set against the attempts of Harold’s mother

to marry him off to a ‘suitable’ girl. Perhaps Harold’s affinity with Maude is because she is old and nearing the end of her life. This should be disturbing, but there is such tenderness and romance between the pair that you can’t help but hope their strange love affair survives.

Harold and Maude could teach us all a thing or two about true love The film has moments of utter hilarity - Harold pretending to blow himself up on a date which his mother has arranged springs to mind - juxtaposed with elements of darkness. A glimpse of what appears to be a Nazi prisoner of war numbers tattooed on Maude’s arm hints at a sinister past. Cat Stevens’ music provides the perfect soundtrack: ‘Don’t Be Shy’ epitomises all that is captivating about Harold and Maude. Maude infuses Harold with a new, joyous lease of life that the film’s final motif is a nod to. Harold and Maude is saddening yet life-affirming: a bittersweet feel-good film that could teach us all a thing or two about true love. Alice Stride

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It is, furthermore, saddening to realise that if the latter had been developed, the film would have benefited enormously, making it somewhat more remarkable than it is. Better Things is bleak and brooding, offering no brightness, and in search of a longing of optimism to be satisfied that is never delivered, you ultimately long for this film to end; a shame considering what it could have been.

Lost Film: Harold and Maude (1971)

Thursday April 2 2009

Alongside this is an engaging portrait of an elderly couple, struggling to cope with their fading relationship after years of unspoken truths, which are juxtaposed against the fresh and faltering love of a young pair of teenagers. We are also given an insight into the mind of Gail, an agoraphobic. She watches the outside world from her isolated room seeking solitude in her romance novels, whilst also caring for her dying grandmother . Gail poignantly considers whilst reading from one of her novels that “real life was difficult...at best”. This is

The film is bleak the audience are left long for Better Things to end

though, is that this is a visually striking film. Shot in muted hues in a wintry landscape, the blue murky tones to every scene highlight the evident melancholy. Likewise, thoughtful sound choices and cinematography suitably emphasise the isolation of individuals. Numerous widescreen shots are used to focus on separate characters from a distance, physically marking them as secluded individuals. Gail’s sheltered life is also sharpened through the intensity of everyday sounds, such as the roaring wavering of a tree in the wind. In stark contrast there are at other times extended silences, assisted by a sparse narrative, diluting all background sounds and consequently focusing in sharply on the characters’ grim inner worlds. However, it is disappointing that the main characters and plot are significantly inferior in comparison to the charismatic and gripping tales of the minor characters.

After Trainspotting, Requiem for a Dream, and various other drugfuelled films that have littered our screens in recent years, it was obvious that Duane Hopkins’ feature debut was always going to struggle to present something new in such an oversubscribed genre. Better Things follows the lives of several people in a small village in the Cotswolds, examining the existence of the young and old, and the effects of love and loss. The main storyline follows Rob, a young heroin addict struggling to cope with the recent loss of his girlfriend who, classically, died from a heroin overdose. Torn by grief, he drags himself further into his own addiction, with bleak consequences.

exactly what this film explores; the harsh realities of life. It is an interesting if somewhat depressing theme, highlighting the hardships society faces on a daily basis.

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email: listings@forgetoday.com

Friday April 3 - Thursday April 16 2009

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Film Unit: Ghost Town @ SU Auditorium; 7:30pm; £2 When Bertram Pincus (Ricky Gervais) dies unexpectedly, he wakes up to discover that he now has the miraculous ability to see ghosts. Gervais’ sharp performance helps to make this an endearing and funny romantic comedy.

Wildbirds & Peacedrums @ Leadmill; 7pm; £7 Wildbirds & Peacedrums are a pop/jazz duo from Sweden whose music mostly consists of drums, played by Andreas Werliin, and Mariam Wallentin’s vocals. However, this simplicity has earned them much praise and their first album, Heartcore, was very well received.

Give It A Go: Alnwick Castle @ Bar One Glossop Road entrance; 8:30am - 5:30pm; £21

Black Carrot @ The Harley; 8pm; Free Nick Cave-esque vocals over the top of dark, thudding electronica from this Midlands outfit. With support from up-andcoming acts The Dawn Chorus and The B Of The Bang.

Give It A Go: Lake District Explorer @ Bar One Glossop Road entrance; 7am - 6pm; £25 A coach tour of the Lake District National Park with a professional local tour guide. Don’t miss out on this chance to sample the delights of the English countryside.

Sound of Guns @ Leadmill; 7pm; £6 One of Liverpool’s newest bands who try to differ from the rest of the music from the city. They have already been invited to share the stage with The Rascals, Red Light Company, and Twisted Wheel after only a matter of months together.

Deathstars + Marionette + The Defiled @ Corporation; 7pm; £13adv In the UK as part of the second leg of their European tour, Deathstars are an industrial metal band formed in Gothenburg, Sweden playing Corp for the fourth time.

Noise Ensemble @ The Crucible; 7:45pm; £15 Hit percussion spectacular Noise Ensemble bring 10 talented young virtuoso percussionists to The Crucible producing epic beats, stunning lighting and a stormy score.

Forced Entertainment presents: Spectacular @ The Crucible; 7:45pm; £15

Bedroom DJs @ Bungalow & Bears; 8pm; Free The turntables are thrown open to all comers: as long as you’re not playing pure slamming bassline or ‘filthy electro house’, you’re welcome to take up a 20 minute slot.

Robin Ince @ City Hall; 8pm; £10

Lucky Sods @ The Lyceum; 7:30pm; £8.50 - £18.50 A satirical and hilarious comedy on lottery winners by BAFTA Awardwinner John Godber about a family who have nothing on Friday and £2 million on Saturday.

Wendy & Lucy @ The Showroom; 6:25pm; £4.30 An intimate, comical, provocative, and playful new work by a lone performer who takes to the stage dressed as a skeleton and explains that the show will be just a little bit different tonight...

DVD Release: Twilight; £19.99 (RRP)

Alnwick Castle is the second largest inhabited castle in England, but it has become famous in recent years for being featured as Hogwarts in the first two Harry Potter films. Invitations to Join in 4: Swap Shop @ The Encounters Shop, 16 Wostenholm Road; 123pm; Free Swap Shop is an event where you can come and swap items, share their histories and take away something new. The Invitations to Join in programme is a series of participatory projects.

The teen romance that also involves vampires adapted from the smash hit book - was one of the surprise successes of last year at the cinema. Album Release: Kingdom Of Rust Doves; £8.99 Doves make their longawaited comeback with Kingdom Of Rust, arriving four years after Some Cities, their last release which gathered much critical acclaim. Their latest offering is sure to please long time fans while opening up plenty more doors for the group along the way.

The Pirate Ship Quintet @ West Street Live; 8pm; £4

Robin Ince presents his brand new stand up show mixing up stories of childbirth, Charles Darwin, Carl Sagan, crazed fundamentalists, a TV fight with Vanessa Feltz, and the story of the poo fairy.

Skint & Demoralised + Orange 38 + Plug Factory + The Basement Project @ Plug; 7pm; £6adv

The Pirate Ship Quintet are a post-rock band comprising seven members. Their cellist is a full time member of one of Britain’s most commended symphony orchestras.

Dragonball Evolution @ Odeon & Cineworld; £4.60 - £5.10 Based on the Japanese manga phenomenon, Dragonball Evolution tells the story of a young warrior’s quest to collect a set of seven magical orbs.

Skint and Demoralised are a Northern Soul-influenced pop collaboration between poet Matt Abbott and producer MiNI dOG.

A woman’s life is derailed when her car breaks down and her dog is taken to the pound, in this timely portrait of loneliness and struggle.

Threads @ DQ; 10pm; £5 A massive EP launch party for Rotherham’s The Heebie Jeebies, with support coming from Café Racer.

Streetlight Manifesto @ Academy 2; 7pm; £10 Streetlight Manifesto are made up of seven guys, seven different musical backgrounds, seven different personalities and one unique voice.

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Zeromancer + Scream Silence + Essence of Mind @ Corporation; 7pm; £11adv Following the release of their album Sinners International, Zeromancer, a Norwegian Industrial rock band formed in 1999 by members of the band Seigmen, are touring the UK.

Baroness + Red Stars Parade @ Corporation; 7pm; £8adv

A Rare Sensation @ The Harley; 8pm; £2 Post-punk, rock and roll, and hardcore, featuring a live set from Sheffield’s Eternal Stench, plus DJs including Terminal Ink Soundsystem and loads more.

The Prodigy + Dizzee Rascal @ Sheffield Arena; 7pm; £27.89 Fusing various styles in their music, ranging from rave, hardcore and industrial to alternative rock and big beat with punk vocal elements, The Prodigy are back with a new album, Invaders Must Die, and a massive tour.

Let The Right One In @ The Showroom; 8:45pm; £3

Ultravox @ City Hall; 7:30pm; £29.50 £32.50 Warren Cann, Chris Cross, Billy Currie and Midge Ure - all four members of the 1980s lineup - are coming together for the first time since performing at Live Aid in 1985, for a UK Ultravox reunion tour.

Give It A Go: North Wales & Snowdonia Explorer @ Bar One Glossop Road entrance; 7am - 6pm; £25 Fancy visiting another country within Britain? Then why not try this coach trip of North Wales and Snowdonia National Park with a professional guide.

Rolo Tomassi + Pulled Apart By Horses + Grammatics @ Plug; 7:30pm; £7.50

Put Down That Science Pole! @ Bungalows & Bears; 8pm; Free An indie disco soundtracked by the friendlier and shinier side of Children For Breakfasts’ record collections. A good place to start your Thursday nights then.

The 400 Blows @ The Showroom; 6pm; £4.30

Blood On The Decks @ Plug; 10.30pm; £10adv

Baroness are heavy metal band from Savannah, Georgia, whose members grew up together in Lexington, Virginia. They are set to release their second album at some point this year.

Restored by the British Film Institute, this 1959 French film tells the story of a young boy in Paris who keeps finding himself on the wrong side of his parents and his schoolmasters, until he is put in the hands of a youth detention centre.

The Pickers, Knickers and Shitkickers Pop Disco @ The Stockroom; 8pm; Free Launch night with a DJ set from An Embarrassment Of Riches. Expect everything that comes between King Adora and the BBC Cricket theme by Booker T and the MGs, apparently.

In The Jungle @ The Earl, Queens Road; 9pm; £3 before 10pm / £4 after A new strictly jungle night made up of the finest old skool beats out there. No dress code but no bad attitudes either.

Give It A Name 2009 @ Academy; £6:30pm; £5 Give It A Name Introduces brings some rising stars from the rock underworld to Sheffield. With In This Moment, Lights and Versa Emerge.

LT22 Radio La Colifata @ Showroom; 6:10pm; £3 A wonderful humanist documentary about a radio show produced entirely by patients at a Buenos Aires psychiatric hospital. The launch of Plug’s brand new night for bank holidays only kicks off with a special Easter party with Eric Prydz, Sebastien Leger, Playground Mafia, Geoff Ticehurst, LJ Freeman and Hallam Floorfillers. Boogaloo @ The Bowery; 8pm; Free Boogaloo is a chilledout evening that brings some of the country’s finest musicians to the Steel City for unplugged sessions every Sunday at The Bowery. Artists will be confirmed at a later date. This is put on by the multi-genre arts collective Opus.

Lemar @ City Hall; 7:30pm; £24.47

Marking a new chapter in his music career, Lemar, who released his fourth studio album The Reason in November last year, is out on a massive UK tour this spring. Support comes from X Factor runners-up JLS.

A well-crafted Swedish horror film that reinvigorates the tired vampire genre by mixing scares with intelligent storytelling as a bullied 12-year-old’s new friend is not all she first seems. Album Release: Dark Days/Light Years - Super Furry Animals; £8.99 The Welsh psychedelic pop legends Super Furry Animals return with Dark Days/Light Years, their ninth studio album. Franz Ferdinand’s Nick McCarthy guests on the Kraftwerk-inspired ‘Inaugural Trams’, performing a Germanlanguage rap. Fast And Furious @ Odeon & Cineworld; £4.60 - £5.10 Vin Diesel and Paul Walker return for the ultimate chapter of the franchise which has been built on speed.

IAMX @ Corporation; 7pm; £9 Rolo Tomassi are heading to Plug as part of their UK headline tour. They have built up a reputation of delivering fearsome, energetic live shows since they formed in 2005. The Big Pink @ Leadmill; 7pm; £6 The Big Pink are a noise band of sorts that mess around with distortion and fuzz, but also include quiet, soft lyrics and some blow-burning guitar riffs.

Concerned with death, sex, narcotic intoxication, bisexuality, decadence, obsession, and alienation, IAMX is the solo musical project of Chris Corner, formerly of The Sneaker Pimps.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

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Hillsborough disaster ‘changed UK football’ “I fell to my knees and realised how hot I was. My clothes were soaking wet, I was breathing heavily. “Someone asked me if I was alright and, if I was, to move back out of the way. A lad carried another lad out who was wearing a bright white jacket. His hands and face were the same colour.” While Gary was fortunate to escape the hell on the terraces, 96 Liverpool supporters died that day at Hillsborough in front of thousands of onlookers, something which Gary will never forget. He said: “I knew people had died. Before that I’d never seen a dead body. I thought you would see blood or wounds or some type of injury but these people looked like they had fainted. I thought, ‘I don’t want to see this anymore’. “It wasn’t like a scene from a Hollywood film but there was no blood, no wounds, no visible signs of injury; just white pale faces, blue lips.” Following the tragedy, the Taylor Report changed football forever, by recommending clubs switch to all-seater stadia, a move which 20 years on has undoubtedly made football a safer place.

By Paul Garbett On Saturday, April 15, 1989, tens of thousands of football supporters gathered in Sheffield for what they hoped would be a day to remember. But now, 20 years on, the memories of that tragic day at Hillsborough are hard to forget. Gary Burns was a 17-yearold Liverpool supporter who travelled to Sheffield from his home town of Northampton in high spirits, hoping to see his side beat Nottingham Forest and reach the FA Cup Final. However, he left Sheffield psychologically scarred for life, having witnessed 96 people being crushed to death in the worst stadium disaster in British history. It was a day which Gary remembers as if it was yesterday. “I caught the coach at 11.00am, [in a] relaxed mood with everyone quietly confident of a good game. “The sun was shining, not too hot, a little overcast in places. I had already received my £6 ticket for the Leppings Lane terrace and watched as the other tickets were distributed on the coach. “I noticed that there were two spare seat tickets. I thought about changing my ticket for a seat but decided not to because the atmosphere would be better standing and that I would save the £2.” Having manoeuvred around the growing crowds outside the ground, it was at the turnstiles when Gary began to get concerned by the amount of people at the match. He said: “The whole scene was stupid; the flow through the turnstiles was very slow because of the lack of definite queues for each turnstile. People were eager to get in, and one of the mounted policemen started to look worried. “He shouted across to another policeman who was stood by the far turnstile. He then started to try and sort things out, he shouted for people to move back, forwards, sideways but it was too little too late.” As kick-off drew closer, the Leppings Lane End reached near-capacity. However, more supporters continued to pile into the stadium after the police opened an extra gate in a bid to prevent a deadly crush outside the turnstiles. This meant that space inside the ground was difficult to find, as Gary recalls: “You were suddenly aware of people stood around you, or next to you, or behind you,” he said. “All of a sudden it seemed a bit tighter, people were standing on your feet and still trying to come past you; there wasn’t really anywhere to go. Suddenly you realised that you couldn’t really move that well. You were pinned up against other people. “I couldn’t see where my mates were. I shouted out but I couldn’t see them at all. There were still people trying to move down and people in front were shouting

It’s been with me for the last 20 years and I can’t walk away from it

The memorial to the victims outside Sheffield Wednesday’s Hillsborough stadium. ‘move back’ and people were shouting back ‘there’s nowhere to move to’.” “I was pinned, sandwiched in place. I was separated from the others; I shouted my friend Geoff’s name but heard no reply. I couldn’t move my shoulders to turn, so I moved my head left and right but I still couldn’t see them. I thought the pressure would ease as the crowd would find space but the pressure slowly increased.” A common concern which haunts many survivors of Hillsborough is the lack of help from anyone inside the stadium. Indeed, police officers allowed just one of the 44 ambulances waiting outside the stadium to enter the pitch due to concerns that a rush of supporters towards the Nottingham Forest end of the ground could spark violence. Gary spoke of how desperate fans tried to get help. “Everyone was shouting at anyone who walked past on the running track, but nobody took any notice,” he said. “I can remember a steward walking along; how could he ignore all the noise, especially the women screaming? From behind someone shouted, ‘Open the gate, there’s people dying in here!’ The steward kept walking past then suddenly stopped, turned and faced the pen I was in. “I thought, ‘surely he can’t ignore us now, open your eyes, and do something’. I could hear others shouting at him, pleading,

but he gazed into the pen for a second and turned away, his face expressionless.” With television cameras at the match, footage of the crush was broadcast live on BBC’s Grandstand, giving the watching public a powerful, first-hand view of the disaster at a time before modern 24-hour news channels. Yet Gary remembers feeling anger towards the media for not providing help at the ground.

96 Liverpool supporters died that day at Hillsborough He said: “I noticed that a couple of photographers who were positioned on the running track behind the advertisement boards had turned around and now had their cameras focused towards the pen taking pictures. I shouted, ‘Put the fucking camera down and help us!’, but still they crouched moving their cameras to get a better picture.” As the crowds began to push, supporters like Gary began to get stranded, with many struggling to breathe; a feeling he says has stayed with him for the rest of his life. He said: “It was the strangest, surreal feeling of being in the open air, underneath a perfectly blue sky but not being able to breathe. We were choking in the open air. “I tried stretching my neck

Photo: Olivia Lightfoot

muscles upwards to try and find fresher, cool air. There was an aroma that I had never smelt before or since. “It filled your nostrils, I could taste it, I tried to swallow to get rid of the taste but this was impossible because there was no moisture inside my mouth. “I used to wake up in the middle of the night and I could smell that aroma. I can only describe it as my smell of fear.” With seven-foot high steel fences penning in fans, many people at the front of the terrace battled to climb over them to save themselves from being crushed to death. Gary recalls: “As more people climbed over the fence I saw the first signs of escape. My head nearly exploded as I was released from the crush, I rushed forward a few steps towards the dividing railings. “A man was stood there; he put his hand out to slow me down. He was stood there acting like a marshal for people climbing the fence, calming people down and helping anyone who was struggling. Selfishly I just wanted to get out. “I got onto the running track. The fresh air hit me. I went down on my knees. “I then sat at the edge of the pitch because I thought I’d get nicked for a pitch invasion. You still thought ‘I’m somewhere I shouldn’t be.’ It was only then I realised the teams had gone off.

However, the lack of any criminal convictions for the mistakes made by South Yorkshire Police still angers many survivors of Hillsborough, such as Kenny Derbyshire. Kenny is the chairman of the Hillsborough Justice Campaign, which supports survivors like Gary Burns and the families of those who died. Kenny was pulled to safety by people in the seated stand above pen three and says that justice has never been done for the 96 people who died at the Leppings Lane End. He said: “Twenty years on from the disaster, there are still questions which have never been answered. Yet there are thousands of people who are still suffering from the effects of Hillsborough. “I still struggle with it to this day, and have flashbacks like many of the thousands of traumatised people. “It’s been with me 24 hours a day for the last 20 years and I can’t walk away from it. We want to see people held responsible for the massive mistakes which were made.” Having recently returned to Hillsborough to record a television interview, Kenny says it was incredibly uncomfortable to be back at the spot where he and others witnessed so much. He said: “Going back now brought back the memories of the panic in the stands that day. “As I was standing outside the ground, an ambulance went past with its sirens on, and it just triggered me off again, thinking of the scenes outside the ground. It still hurts today, even 20 years on, and will do for the rest of my life.”

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

FEATURES

‘Politics desperately

Nick Clegg speaks to Forge Press during his recent tour of the country Photos: Helen Munro

The Shefﬁeld Hallam MP, Nick Clegg, prior to addressing the University of Shefﬁeld in the Students’ Union auditorium.

By Daniel Baird This time next year, for the ﬁrst time this century, Britain will be heading towards a general election that is likely to throw out a few surprises. Of course, this summer’s local elections and the months that follow will make the picture a lot clearer. But, at this point in time, much is left in the balance and that is why the leader of the Liberal Democrats, Nick Clegg, was last week zipping around the north of England emphasising the need to “try something different.” On the surface there is a lot to be excited about in relation to the Liberal Democrats’ policies, especially where young people are concerned. Beyond the promise to eliminate tuition fees for all students studying their ﬁrst undergraduate degree, the

party’s commitment to nuclear disarmament and environmental initiatives are particularly attractive to young people and the student populace. When I spoke to him, Clegg said: “We have an obligation, a duty, to face not only the immediate economic crisis but to deal with what is the biggest crisis of our generation, of this era, which is this environmental one. There has been a lamentable failure to take the necessary choices to make that happen. “Just look, most recently the Government had a chance to invest more money in public transport, insulating homes, in installing energy-saving technology in every home in this country, insulating every school and hospital; and instead they blew £12.5billion on VAT cuts. “That’s a choice, that’s a choice that’s been taken by the Government. You could create

close to 100,000 jobs today and start laying the environmental, green infrastructure for the future with that money if only there had been the imagination to do it.” Clegg’s commitment to the environment is commendable and should be shared and developed throughout Westminster, but whether he, Gordon Brown or David Cameron are capable of successfully resolving current concerns - exacerbated by the recession - remains to be seen.

It’s particularly tough for young people leaving school and university “My view is that the recession we are now in, is not just any old recession. I think that the nature of this economic crisis is much more profound. A lot of what we are seeing now is the collapse

of a particular economic model, introduced by Margaret Thatcher, Ronald Reagan and others. “It was an economic model that believed in giving almost complete free reign to the financial services, making our national economy almost entirely subservient to the City, neglecting manufacturing, complacently believing that if the rich get richer somehow everybody else will benefit and presiding over a degree of social inequality and a lack of social mobility. “I think that the nature of this crisis is now making lots and lots of people ask themselves very, very profound questions. Why did we let the bankers get away with this? Why didn’t we do more to promote social justice? Why did we accept that a child born in the poorest neighbourhood of Sheffield today will die a full 14 years before a child born in the wealthiest neighbourhood in Sheffield? “Why did we accept an education

system that allowed children, particularly children from the most difﬁcult backgrounds, to be failed on an industrial scale? A child that is bright but poor will now be overtaken at school by a less bright but wealthier child by about the age of six. After that point, all the evidence suggests, there’s almost nothing you can do to close the gap. “There are many aspects to countering this recession. Firstly the Government needs to get the banks lending again and, in my own view, take the weakest banks into temporary nationalisation. They’re asking the taxpayers to basically write a blank cheque for the banks without actually enforcing the banks to lend the money. “Secondly, you need to start putting money back in the pockets of the people who need it. They need to close the big loopholes that are currently exploited by the very rich banks and large companies. Make

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

FEATURES

ly needs to change’ them pay their fair share and use every pound of that to give big tax cuts to people who really need it. “Why did we accept a tax system with great big loopholes? A tax system in which Tesco can sell some prime estate somewhere and barely pay a penny in stamp duty because it’s listed under some company in the Cayman Islands. In which a master of the universe in the City of London can pay themselves capital gains and pay considerably less tax on that than their cleaner does on her wages.” What is particularly worrying for Clegg is the impact that current events will have on the future of the United Kingdom. The current recession and the accumulated debt following several years in higher education makes it a doubly disheartening time for those at university. “It’s not an easy time for young people. A lot of you guys will leave university with a lot of debt, entering into an economy which is mired in debt; you’ll find it very difficult to get your feet on the property ladder because property prices are high. You’re going to find it difficult to get jobs in the present climate. I think it’s tough at the moment and I think it’s particularly tough for young people leaving school, college and university. “I’m genuinely worried. The figures of unemployment have become particularly high for people between 16 and 24 years of age. It would be a tragedy, it would be a terrible tragedy, if this economic crisis would actually leave a legacy of youth unemployment.” It is a tragedy that appears inevitable and, although it might not be a legacy, it will undoubtedly lead to several years of hardship and frustration for a great number of young people preparing to leave education. It is, however, times like these when people move away from complacency and apathy and begin to reconsider what is important to them, particularly where government is concerned. “For anyone who says to you: ‘Oh, politics. They’re all the same. Nothing’s at stake.’ Rubbish, rubbish! There’s a huge amount at stake. Politics is flawed. Westminster, in my view, is a sort of hollowed-out shell of what a democratic parliament should look like. “The system isn’t working. It’s not democratic, it’s not green enough, it’s not fair enough. But these aren’t reasons to give up on politics, in my book, they’re the reason to be committed to politics. To use politics for what, I think, politics does best when it is at its best. It mobilises opinion to effect change in a world that is desperately crying out for radical change.” University is the perfect time and place to get involved in raising funds and awareness for what you believe in. Clegg said: “Politics desperately needs to change. If people don’t have an alternative, get stuck in. You can get stuck in to single-issue campaign groups; I’ve done it myself. “When I was at university I was a frenzied organiser for Survival International, to defend the rights of tribal people, I was really passionate about it. But actually politics is about something much bigger, it’s about the basic values which provide the glue which

should try and seek to hold us together. “What do you care about? Do you care that we went into an illegal invasion of Iraq with George Bush? Do you care that so many children don’t get any sense of hope in the classroom? Do you care that the Government has passed legislation which means that people can use anti-terrorism legislation to spy on whether your dog is doing a poo on the pavement? “I mean, if someone doesn’t care about those things then I give up. I just think that these things are really important. They say things about the community we live in and the values we believe in.” Fears over what may be viewed as intolerably invasive surveillance are often brushed aside as paranoia, if they even enter our consciousness. Clegg, however, is adamant that recent measures should be met with outrage to prevent our civil liberties dissipating on a path towards an Orwellian dystopia. “We have the largest DNA database in the world, holding the details of thousands and thousands of young children, even a baby, I discovered the other day, who are innocent of any wrongdoing whatsoever. A government that wants to spend £12billion pounds of your money on a database on which to log every email and every mobile phone call made in this country. Why do we put up with that? Why do we put up with that waste of money?” Clegg went on to highlight the danger of the inﬂuence that an extreme minority may have if a large percentage of the population refuse to participate in the decisionmaking process. He stressed that our politicians have an immediate responsibility to demonstrate that steps will be taken to resolve current issues in order to inspire the electorate.

Have they bought the idea that Cameron offers change? I don’t think so “There is a real danger, if you look at history, that as night follows day, political extremism, xenophobia and populism follow in the wake of economic hardship. We have an immense challenge, it seems to me, for mainstream politicians to show that we have the answers, to address these fears and provide some hope. “And if we fail to be ambitious on the environment, if we fail to take back our liberties, if we fail to rebalance the tax system, if we fail to get tough on these amoral bankers, if the leaders of the world fail to come to at least some agreement in the G20 summit, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that you will see mass abstention in many democracies in the developed world and almost certainly a rise of extremism.” Today’s meeting of the G20 in London is of huge importance, Clegg argues. It demonstrates how dire the situation is for the global economy when an opposition party leader hopes that next week is a success for the Prime Minister. “For a long time, particularly when Gordon Brown was saying that he was going to be the great helmsman who was going to save the world, I joined in this sneering feeling that the G20 was just going

seen for the last few elections. I think people are fed up with the Government; they want a change, they want something different. Have they bought the idea that David Cameron offers that change? I don’t think so. “What I genuinely want to do is make sure that the Liberal Democrats become big, and my ambition is, over the next election or two, to double the number of Liberal Democrat MPs, that we break this duopoly that has suffocated British politics for so long. “We always have this issue about credibility. We solve that by showing that when we do get power we wield it well and in Paul Scriven and many other council leaders around the country we have now a team of local Liberal Democrat leaders who are directly responsible for billions of pounds of public expenditure and are doing really imaginative, innovative things.

Do you care that we went into an illegal invasion of Iraq with George Bush?

Clegg is determined to double the number of Liberal Democrat MPs. to be a talking shop and if he gets egg on his face then ‘Ha, ha, ha, that’s Gordon Brown messing up.’ I actually think it’s a lot more serious than that now; it could be one of those really important moments. The mainstream politicians have an immense responsibility now to try to answer the big questions. “Just imagine that the G20 is branded a complete failure. Europe is disagreeing with America, America is disagreeing with China, Sarkozy says something nasty about Gordon, Gordon snubs Angela, then you can see how the press and politicians like me would immediately jump on that. I think that could have a dramatic effect, a psychological effect. “People are desperate for answers. They want a reassurance that all these important people meeting at the G20 have some vague idea about how to get us out of this mess. If that doesn’t happen and the G20 summit is regarded as a failure, I think you’ll see a very bad reaction. Markets for a start, pressure on the pound, on currencies, on shares. “But you also get a deepening sense of despair amongst people that, basically, no one knows what they’re doing, no one has an answer, no one has a plan. I really hope that it is a success for Gordon Brown because this isn’t about Labour, Tory, Lib Dems. “It is really important that this recession doesn’t topple into an outright depression which will cast

a shadow for a long time. And I think the G20 could be one of those pivotal psychological moments precisely because people are looking for answers.” Clegg might have been more detailed in stating exactly what he would be attempting to instigate if he was present at the summit, rather than vaguely covering what is expected and reiterating the signiﬁcance of environmental concerns. He said: “The G20 should afﬁrm that we won’t make the same mistake as in the 1930s and resort to protectionism. It must agree some kind of mechanism to help out a lot of the developing countries that have been hit very hard. “This is the moment to start investing heavily in green technologies, job-rich green industries across the world. I think there is an awareness amongst political circles that it’s a kind of last chance saloon for mainstream politics to give the answers to a despairing people.” A reaction from ‘a despairing people’ will undoubtedly have a great impact in 2009. Exactly what that impact will be is currently unclear, even to those who are able to play a key role in the outcome of next year’s election. “Why should my crystal ball be clearer than anyone else’s?” Clegg replied. “I have no idea what the next election is going to bring. I suspect that the next election will bring change in a way that we haven’t

“We have to develop policies which make sense, which add up, which capture the imagination and then really drive them home. I think we’ve got some very good ideas, some very good people. Vince Cable is rightly acknowledged as being one of the most credible, authoritative, political figures on the economy. “We’ve got this chance to say to people, something very, very simple: ‘Look, we’re in a mess, we’ve had blue-red, red-blue government for ages now. They keep making the same mistakes, they’re not going to get you out of this, try something different.’ I think that will be a very powerful message come the next general election.” The success of the Liberal Democrats, not only over the next year but over the next decade, is reliant not only upon the general public’s belief in the party but Clegg and his team’s own belief with regards to their limitations. His determination and detailing of Lib Dem strengths and opposition weaknesses are convincing to a point, but even the emphatic orator from across the Atlantic would waver in the face of the daunting task facing Clegg. “Vast swathes of the country are locked into one blue or red corner. It’s difficult but it’s doable. Who would have imagined that Sheffield would have a Liberal Democrat MP, prior to 1997? People would have thought it was impossible. “In Cumbria this morning, I was campaigning with a friend of mine who is the Lib Dem MP up there in a seat where the Conservatives had a 20,000 majority about 15 years ago. It was the fourth safest Conservative seat in the country. We won it. “Who would have thought that Paul Scriven would be leading Sheffield City Council? Unimaginable. So I do think change is possible. I think the old tribal and class allegiances which used to lead to mass votes for one party and another has broken down. I think there is now fluidity and a thirst for something different, which makes it possible. But, of course, it is difficult.”

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

FEATURES

The teamwork trials

Cartoon: Mark Mackay

Is group work beneficial, or does it bring out the worst in people?

By Caroline Vann Jones I think it’s safe to say we’re all familiar with that feeling of dread that quickly ensues when your seminar tutor mentions the words ‘group’ and ‘work.’ You reluctantly anticipate the awkward discussions and long, silent pauses that are about to commence as you await the group allocations. You may also be getting a little concerned that you haven’t actually done the reading and the rest of the group are going to discover your inadequacy. Or maybe you actually have done it and the rest of your group are going to sit back and leave it all to you because they don’t have a clue. Should we just accept it and get on with it? And is there really any point to it at all? Despite finding group work situations horribly forced and uncomfortable when they initially arise, I have never really minded working alongside other people, and would actually go as far as to say that I sometimes enjoy it. This year particularly, I have made some good friends in my various seminars through being put in groups to work. Working with other people can also encourage you to contemplate viewpoints and opinions that you would never have considered if you had been working solo. On top of this, it’s important to consider the long-term benefits. Admittedly this is hard when you would rather be anywhere than in a stuffy room making forced

conversation with people you probably don’t know; but really, there are some. There are very few work environments where you won’t have to interact with your colleagues, and it is not unusual to be asked by an employer if you have any experience of working in a team. By gaining this teamwork experience early at university and developing your interaction skills before heading out into the big bad world, you are already ahead of many other potential candidates for a job. During my gap year I worked with a team of people on a local travel project. We worked long hours and had team meetings every day. There was a lot of pressure on us to meet targets and, in this situation, it was crucial to have a team that could interact, listen to each other, and collectively come up with ways in which we could improve our approach.

There is usually at least one person who doesn’t pull their weight As a team we all worked exceptionally well together, with the exception of one woman. She was a freelance artist, and had worked on her own (from the home in which she lived - alone) for the past 25 years. She talked over people, refused to listen to suggestions and advice, and would try as much as she could to go at it alone. Tensions grew

within our office until somebody eventually confronted her. She was forced to admit that she just couldn’t bear having to consult other people, consider different ideas and work in a group because it wasn’t what she was used to. She had never had the experience of working with others and, in this case, it hindered her greatly, as well as impacting heavily on the work of her teammates. By tackling issues of working with others early, in the lowpressure environment of university seminars, you can gradually gain the necessary skills for work and develop them over three or four years instead of being thrown in at the deep end when you do enter into employment. So, we’ve established that the long term benefits are invaluable; but how about group work in the short term? What are our issues with it, and is it really doing us any good? Rightly so, the composition of your group can pose the biggest concern. There is usually at least one person in the group who doesn’t pull their weight, and then you’re faced with the dilemma of what to do about it. As their equal, working on the same project, on the same course, do you have the right to tell them how they should be working and what they should be doing? But on the other hand, if you leave it, your work as a whole will suffer and they will get the credit for the parts that you have done. At this University, with group projects that will eventually be handed in, it is necessary at the

end of the process for each person in the group to sign a cover sheet with their name and the percentage of work which they contributed to the project. If the effort was equal, everybody will write 100 per cent next to their signature, but if one person truly did not put in the work then the rest of the group can elect to agree that the said group member will not be put into the 100 per cent bracket, in which case their grade will be severely affected.

She was forced to admit she couldn’t bear having to consider different ideas This may sound harsh, but if someone hadn’t written their own essay, they would not get the grade, so why should it be any different when the assignment is a group one? Nobody likes to admit they’re a slacker, but I have to confess that I possess some of the qualities of one. My work is usually late and I can never seem to keep on top of my time-keeping. This usually only affects myself and it is just me who has to face the consequences. But when put in a group, the pressure is suddenly on. I do the work, I go to the group meetings and I put in as much time as I can, because if I fail at the task in hand, so do the rest of the group; and I certainly do not want to be held responsible for that. Maybe if group work is what it takes to improve the effort and motivation of the individual, then this is the way forward.

Over-confidence can also cause problems. It is not unusual to hear about groups in which one person will dominate the discussions and take complete control of the work. However, is a louder voice within a group sometimes necessary to get discussions going? It is all about the approach. Whilst being confident is a positive thing in terms of group work and getting things started, the ability to listen is equally important. And what if you’re shy? Although it can be a particularly difficult obstacle to overcome and the prospect of working in groups can be daunting, it is important that it is not allowed to hinder somebody’s opportunities. Usually, group work is done in small numbers, which means that it can be an excellent opportunity to improve self-confidence slowly, with fewer people to address than in a general seminar. From the outside, shyness can be seen as frustrating, but when working in a group with somebody who is quieter and more withdrawn, gently encouraging them is always going to be far more beneficial than interrogating them or trying to force them to speak. I recently attended a seminar on Knowledge Transfer, and in this particular case the knowledge being transferred was about working within a group. I listened to a group of fourth years explain how they have gone about group work in the past and what they learnt; but what it really taught me was that each experience is unique.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

LIFESTYLE

Are you a size 8 in one shop and a size14 in another? By Caroline Vann Jones Last month, my sister sent me through the dress she wants me to wear as her bridesmaid at her wedding in May. I loved the colour, I even liked the style, but then I looked at the label: my kind sibling had ordered a dress two sizes bigger than what I have always thought and said I am. I called her, completely indignant, and got the response that bridesmaids’ dresses are always smaller, and if it ﬁts, what does it matter? So I tried it on to prove her wrong, and to my horror, it ﬁtted like a glove. This got me thinking; are we too preoccupied with size? Do we steer away from certain shops because we’re scared of having to go a size bigger than we think we are?

I could barely get it over my head. To avoid having to pay for damage, I tried a 14

Hot or not?

And is it true that there really is such a discrepancy in sizing between different shops and styles? Certain shops are notorious for being stingy with their sizes. I have generally always believed that the cheaper the shop, the more generous the sizes, but the more I think about it, the more uncertain I am that this theory was founded on any concrete evidence. So I decided to hit the high street and visit three different shops, all with different price ranges, to see if I was right. My test item to try in each place was a dress. Although I love shopping, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to my ﬁndings. I started in Topshop. Their prices are at the higher end of the high street spectrum and their sizing has been the root of several bouts of mild depression in my time. I love Topshop clothes, but a lot

of their styles can only be 12 - this is a mid-range shop, pulled off by the superafter all, so this size should skinny, and even then have been right if my theory at a push. was sound - and headed to the I have a few dresses changing rooms. from Topshop and Well this was even worse although I like to than Topshop; I could barely maintain that I’m a get it over my head. To avoid size 12, I usually opt having to pay for any more for a size 14 in damages, I tried on a 14. there to avoid This fitted well and I looking like was pleased with the I should be way it looked, but I still checked into couldn’t escape the fact Fat Camp at that my size 12 beliefs any minute. may actually have just This time, I been delusions. tried on some However, still more simple refusing to believe the dresses, and evident truth, I spoke generally the to a lot of friends who 14 was still all insisted that H&M the better sizes are the most fitting size. upsetting out there. I could Even my size 8 fit into a friend admitted 12, and a struggling to get couple of into a size 12 in this the baggier store. i t e m s Perhaps this l o o k e d is because their b e t t e r styles are modelled smaller, but on skinny in general Scandinavians, the 14 was but whatever the the winner. reasons, I think I’ll As usual, I left be giving H&M a wide feeling a little berth in future. miserable, despite I was feeling pretty trying to convince disheartened by this time, myself - as my sister and I hoped that Primark, has tried to do - that at the low end of the price size doesn’t matter. range, would be kind to me. And I had always I picked up a size 12, and known what I was in a size 14 (as this had now for with Topshop, so become a necessity). maybe a trip to H&M For the first time that day, would ease my woes. the 14 hung off me and the 12 I couldn’t have been fitted perfectly. more wrong. Of course, I felt pleased, but I had clearly repressed obviously a little confused. the painful memory of If I was a 12 here, and at ripping some trousers least 14 in H&M but between in there when I refused a 12 and 14 in Topshop, what is to accept they wouldn’t really my dress size? do up. Well, the reality is, I don’t I picked up a simple, think there is a solid answer for tight cotton anyone, regardless dress in a size Caroline modelling the H&M dress. of their shape and

Hair ornaments From ﬂowers to butterﬂies, to glittery hairbands and jewelled clips, summer is the time to decorate your locks. However, think more hippie bohemian than Medusa. Verdict: Hot

Summer clothes We’re just not ready to let go of our boots and thick tights yet. And our baggy jumpers are too comfy to banish to the back of the wardrobe. Come back rain, all is forgiven. Verdict: Not

Iced coffee The weather’s getting warmer but we still need our caffeine ﬁx. Why not opt for an iced latte? They’re already popular in LA and you can drink them without burning your hands. Verdict: Hot

Dress sizes can vary from store to store, so don’t be afraid to try different ones. size. As I found out, some shops are deﬁnitely kinder and some are crueller. Even within shops, sizes can ﬂuctuate in the extreme. In one style you might need to take a size two sizes smaller than in another. Tight and baggy styles obviously vary considerably and the difference between sizing of trousers and skirts can also be completely different. My advice would be to not be

The Boat That Rocked It’s been years since Richard Curtis last released a ﬁlm. This time, he’s got rid of Hugh Grant and hired a whole bunch of Brit comic talent. Set to be a hit. Verdict: Hot

scared to stray from your typical size.

Even within shops, sizes can ﬂuctuate in the extreme If you avoid trying something in a slightly bigger - or even a slightly smaller - size you could be missing out on a great item for

Essays The library walls are closing in on us, the clacking of keyboards is driving us mad, and on the walk home we see drunk people having a good time. Verdict: Not

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

LIFESTYLE

Lifestyle Review: Skin fixing beauty buys

My friend is coming to visit and I really want to take them somewhere nice for a meal, but I’m on a bit of a tight budget. Where should we go? The Lescar Hotel on Sharrow Vale behind Ecclesall Road is a bustling, quirky little pub with great deals on food. For only £15 you can get two meals and two drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic), and the menu is pretty varied, offering dishes from risotto to homemade pies.

By Vicky Shaw With winter slowly departing, we’re all happily greeting the arrival of spring. But while we might be happy to kiss goodbye to rain-drenched hair and dry, red skin, spring brings with it a new set of beauty battles. But never fear, Lifestyle has tried and tested the products that could see you through. Do you suffer from tired eyes? Whether you’ve been out late dancing the night away or seeing far too much of the IC, no doubt you will be familiar with this problem. Invest in an eye treatment that contains caffeine, like Soap & Glory Supereyes Moisturising Eye Gel (£5.21). It is great at de-pufﬁng your eyes, so even if you feel tired you don’t need to look it. This eye gel also contains the latest age-ﬁghting ingredients. I know what you’re thinking: I’m too young to be using anti-ageing products. But bear in mind that prevention is better than cure. And with its kitsch packaging and affordable price, this Soap & Glory product is hard to resist. Verdict: Fab With hints that summer is on its way you might not want to wear a heavy foundation during

Photo: Olivia Lightfoot your wardrobe. In the end, as I was told to begin with, size is irrelevant and nobody is going to be inspecting the labels of your clothes. It is how you look in them and, more importantly, how you feel in them that are the most important factors. Visit numerous different shops, try on a variety of shapes and styles and ﬁnd that outﬁt that is right for you.

Sports Luxe fashion While we’re all getting excited about Varsity, fashion types are telling us that silky jogging bottoms and sweat bands are stylish. No thanks, gymwear is for the gym. Verdict: Not

Aunt Agony Advises

I really need an intensive lip balm, but I want one that gives a bit of colour to my lips at the same time as moisturising them. Any suggestions? The new Vaseline, containing rose and almond oil, is just the thing for you. It keeps lips soft whilst also giving them a subtle rosy tint. At around £2 from selected Boots and Superdrug stores, you can’t go far wrong. You can transform tired, red eyes into wide eyed, sparkly eyes in an instant. the day. Instead, why not swap to a tinted moisturiser? I tried out Benefit’s You Rebel, which is slightly pricey at £19.50, but Benefit claim the added vitamins and antioxidants give you glowing skin and the SPF15 protection is essential in the sun to keep you looking young and beautiful. Unlike foundation, You Rebel only comes in two different shades as it claims to adapt to any skin tone. However the ‘original’ shade left me looking slightly orange, so if you have very fair skin you may find that even the You Rebel Lite is too dark. It is quite thick, which is great if you have dry skin; but if you have oily skin be careful that your face doesn’t become too shiny. Verdict: Consider

Maybe this doesn’t count as one of your ﬁve a day, but for all you make-up wearers out there it should deﬁnitely become part of your daily skincare routine. Unlike some harsh makeup removers which can dry out your skin, Yes To Carrots Can You C Me? Eye and Face Make-up remover (£6.84) gives your skin a natural healthy glow. It combines organic carrot juice, minerals, Dead Sea mud and aloe vera, which are great at removing even stubborn waterproof makeup whilst also moisturising, stimulating and revitalising your skin. Verdict: Buy it now Now is the time to start getting ready for spring and banish those winter blues.

I need to buy Easter Eggs in bulk for my friends and family. Where can I get them cheaply – I’ve got a lot to buy! If you’re looking for somewhere near the uni campus, then Sainsbury’s Local has a good range with lots of offers on, including two for £2 (which I think must be unbeatable). Alternatively, give people homemade Easter nests. All you need is a bar of chocolate and some Mini Eggs. Melt the chocolate over whatever cereal you have in the cupboard, make into nests and decorate with Mini Eggs. Get in touch and hopefully Aunt Agony can help you with any problems you may be having. Email problems to press. lifestyle@forgetoday.com.

Save money on big name computers By Bethan Hill While many of us are struggling to balance our ﬁnances (as students, we’ve been friends with our overdrafts ever since we left home), others may be considering splashing out on a new range of hispec laptops. Dell recently launched its ‘Adamo’ range. These computers are slim and sleek, but tough at the same time. They possess sophisticated names like Pearl and Onyx, creating an image of beauty and luxury. And, if you’ve got a spare £2,250, they’ll be right up your street. But if perhaps you can’t afford that sort of thing, Lifestyle has some solutions for you. While buying a brand new laptop might seem like a pricey option, there are ways to avoid this. Some websites specialise in selling old laptops with new parts in them. Because they’re not brand new, they can’t be sold as new, so the prices are cheaper. So, for example, somebody may have got rid of their old laptop

because the disk drive didn’t work. These companies simply replace the disk drive and sell the computer on at a low price. Try studentlaptops.co.uk for these sorts of deals. It may also be worth avoiding big name retailers like PC World and seeking out local computer dealers with competitive prices. But if you can’t resist the pull of the big names, you need to get your detective skills out. Companies like Apple offer student discount through their websites, but they don’t advertise it because they don’t want everyone getting cheap computers. To find it takes a bit of exploration. Also, on Sunday, April 5, there is a discount Computer Fair at the Don Valley Stadium in Sheffield. There will be over 250 stalls, with big name brands like Dell and Sony selling at low prices. Computer Fairs are offering University of Sheffield students 25 per cent off admission to the fair. Just go to www.rrcf.co.uk, click on ‘Join mailing list’ and click the venue you are interested in.

The ﬂashy new Dell Adamo will set you back almost a year’s student loan.

LIFESTYLE

Love in the time of chlamydia

The realms of dating are foreign to me. It was only in the last couple of months that people even asked me on dates, and to be honest I never really cared. The idea of spending at least three hours with someone you only vaguely know, making polite conversation, sent shivers down my spine. Of course now I’ve had some wonderful dates, but there are still those few that have caused deep emotional scarring. I once had a date with a third year whose dissertation had something to do with rodent faeces; needless to say after three hours of talking about the difference between mouse and rat droppings I was hardly turned on. There are, of course, the dates that go wonderfully; my friend went on a date with a lovely boy who was funny, kind and intelligent. One date led to several and soon they were somewhat of an item. However, when she decided to take things further she soon realised her man had one flaw. After a lovely night out she brought him back to her house, and it all seemed to be going smoothly. However, my friend tends to be very straight down the line; for her the doggy position is about as kinky as she’ll get. So you can probably imagine her horror when he suggested that she tied him up and slapped him. She was so shocked she swiftly ejected him from her room, and never spoke to him again. Maybe she reacted too harshly, but it does serve as a warning that if you have any unusual turn-ons, its probably best to wait a while before you start revealing them to a new partner.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

Earrings, jeans, and other toxic fashion By Sarah Barns “Fashion isn’t life or death... It’s much more important than that,” a delightful club leaflet felt the need to inform me earlier. Would we consider fashion to be more important than death; really? Probably not. However it got me thinking. There are many ‘fashionable’ items out there that may look pretty but probably aren’t all that good for your body. Here is a rundown of the top offenders. Earrings They were famous for adorning the stylish ears of Edie Sedgwick in the Sixties, but big dangly earrings can be a dangerous ornament to have hanging from your lobes. The weight of the earring, together with the help of gravity, pulls your ear down and can cause the lobe to tear. The tear is irreparable without the aid of plastic surgery, leaving you with slits in your ears. Nice. Opt for cosmetic jewellery that is hollow, light in weight and doesn’t put that much pressure on your lobes. Save dangly earrings for special occasions and take them out immediately if your ears are starting to feel the strain. Bras They are the things closest to our hearts, always offering us support, but an ill-fitting bra could be causing you some serious damage. Bras that do not fit properly can put stress on bones and muscles which can cause breathing problems. A tight and under-wired bra that does not fit right can press on the rib cage and put pressure on the diaphragm.

The pressure on the rib cage, if great, can also affect digestion. Bras which are too tight can cause lumps (called lymphomas) to form on the skin. The best way to avoid any lumps and bumps forming on the skin is to choose a bra with thick straps. If your breasts are of the larger variety, opt for extra soft, cushioned and wide load-bearing shoulder straps to ease pressure to avoid any back problems. Make sure the straps don’t dig in, either. A whooping 85 per cent of women are wearing the wrong bra size, so get measured and get the right size for your shape. You know it makes sense. Jeans Dark wash, ripped, boot-cut, stone wash, cropped, bleached... There are more varieties colour, shape and style to jeans than there were colours in Joseph’s Technicolor dreamcoat.

The average women’s bag weighs the equivalent of five bags of sugar However, jeans that are tight fitting in the crotch area could cause fungal infections such as thrush if worn too often. Swap your skinnies for a baggier boyfriend style every once in a while and let your nether regions breathe. Flip-flops You know the drill: the sun seeps out slightly from behind the clouds, so everybody instinctively runs indoors for their sandals and the baby oil. Who would have thought our old faithful, the flip-flop, could be the cause of back and lower leg

She may be trendy, but is she damaging her health? Cartoon: Kate Carson injuries? Flip-flops put a strain on the arch of your foot, ankle, and even your hips and lower back. Unlike more stable shoes they do not absorb the impact of steps, forcing the arch, heel, calf or back to bear the brunt of the force. Only wear them for short periods of time rather than as primary footwear. If you invest in a sturdier sandal your feet will thank you for it. Keep waddling around in foamy £1 ones from Primark and you might as well revert back to caveman mentality and go barefoot. High heels Not only do you risk falling over like Naomi Campbell did in those gastronomic Vivienne Westwoods, but constant wear can cause hammertoe, bunions and corns. Wearing them for a long period of time can also cause your heel to adapt to the position of the shoe. Unless you want feet like Cinderella, switch between flats and heels. Save your heels for the evening, and no matter how wonderful you

think your dream shoes are, make sure they fit. No one likes a girl face down in the mud. Oversized bags The average woman’s handbag weighs the equivalent of five bags of sugar. That’s five pounds (or nearly 2.5 kilograms) of stuff, proving that we really do cart around everything excluding the kitchen sink. Carrying this amount of weight around all the time has an effect on body posture and may cause back strain. It is a good idea to clear out your handbag regularly to ensure you aren’t lugging around unnecessary items. Make like the Parisians and share the load between two bags; one for personal stuff and the other for work items. How continental. Oscar Wilde once stated that fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. Maybe there is some truth in that; just to avoid the thrush, bunions and oversized earlobes, perhaps?

Win natural grooming products for men While the market for female grooming products is swamped with lotions and potions, male grooming is still an up-andcoming sector. But with male icons like David Beckham promoting the use of moisturisers and eau de toilettes, men are starting to catch on. And now they can pamper themselves - without any nasty chemicals - too. Bulldog is the UK’s first natural

grooming brand for men. All Bulldog products are body friendly and don’t contain controversial man-made chemicals such as parabens, sodium laureth sulfate, artificial colours or synthetic fragrances. They are loaded with essential oils and other natural active ingredients to deliver superb grooming results. For more information about the products visit www.

meetthebulldog.com. Bulldog are offering two readers the opportunity to win full grooming kits and wash bags worth £45 each.Each kit contains moisturiser, shaving gel, postshave balm, shower gel, face wash and face scrub. To enter, email press.lifestyle@ forgetoday.com with the answer to this question: What is the name of the UK’s first natural grooming brand for men?

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

TRAVEL

It’s love at first sight By Danielle Appleton I only arrived in New York yesterday and already I can tell that it’s going to be my favourite city in the world. It’s cold, raining and busy, yet it has this vibe that refuses to let you feel anything less than ecstatic to be here. Compared to the tiny town of Corvallis where I have spent the last six months, everything is unbelievably huge. You can’t see the top floor of some buildings because they reach so high, and the roads are so wide that you feel like you are truly risking your life every time you try to cross one. We ventured to the top of the Rockefeller Centre to check out the view of the city. It looked just like the postcards; gigantic, bright and busy.

Some of the youngsters that James worked with on Camp America. Times Square in New York City. There seems to be so much to do here and not enough time to fit it all in. However, we are making sure to squeeze every moment out of the week that we possibly can. I’m writing this as we are getting ready to go and watch a New York Knicks basketball game at Madison Square Gardens, and tomorrow we have tickets for Broadway and a date with the Statue of Liberty. Today I had lunch near Sixth Avenue and watched the city pass me by. I’m not exaggerating when I say that at least 90 per cent of people who passed me by were gripping a Starbucks coffee. I could instantly tell the tourists from the New York city residents. Obviously there is the lack of an enormous camera and a glaringly obvious I LOVE NY t-shirt, but the people who are lucky enough to call NYC their home also have a confidence and an aura which screams out that they are the coolest, most fashionable people in the world. One day I want to be one of those people.

Rewarding, but not financially By James Parkin

With a passion for travelling, I was eager to organise something for the fast-approaching summer break. But with limited funds, I knew I would need to work wherever I went in order to subsidise the trip. I wanted to do something to test myself in an unfamiliar setting, as well as doing something to boost my CV. After a long application process involving several interviews and a CRB check, I landed a position as Sailing Director at Camp Linoln for boys in Minnesota, USA. Arriving at camp was without doubt the scariest thing I have ever been through. It took three flights and an hour and a half drive to reach the “state with a thousand lakes”. After a restless first night’s sleep

I was awoken by Jack, Dalen and Bryant; three American guys very keen to show me the ropes. We were to be put through staff training before the kids arrived, and due to exams I was the last person to arrive: so when 80 guys started chanting the ‘Welcome to Camp Lincoln’ song whilst beating on the tables, I was somewhat taken aback.

I found myself leading songs and dancing in front of 200 people Rituals such as the Camp Lincoln beat, the camp creed and a whole host of patriotic songs all had to be learnt overnight so that I too could become one of these oversized children before me. Upon awakening that morning

City spotlight: Rome By Ben James Reminders of the city’s past are everywhere to be seen, from the ‘SPQR’ tattooed on the city’s bins to the array of toga parties in the city’s clubs, not to mention the scores of historical sites. Formerly the central legal, government and entertainment buildings of the great Roman Empire, they now welcome visitors from overseas in 15 different languages. But don’t let this put you off: Rome isn’t an ‘undiscovered gem’ or ‘a must see before the tourists move in’. It has well and truly been discovered, and for good reason. To the west of the city lies the Vatican, the centre of the Catholic Church, and it is every bit as glorious as the guide book

says. Nuns walk down pillarlined cobbled streets whilst Michelangelo’s great dome sits proudly behind as a reminder of man’s great and beautiful achievements. The city’s main attraction, the Colosseum, really takes the

A view of the Colosseum in Rome.

biscuit though. Looking down into the once great gladiatorial arena, it only takes a little imagination and a quick hum of Hans Zimmer’s epic score from Gladiator to raise those hairs on the back of your neck. However, Rome offers more than just its history. The shopping, for example, is renowned worldwide. You can saunter round Prada or Gucci with the rich and famous by the Spanish Steps, or simply mosey around one of the city’s many street markets. Eating out can be expensive as in any other European capital city but there are deals to be had. Be sure to always carry your passport and UCard as many sites and museums offer heavy discounts.

I became aware of the picturesque landscape where I would be spending my summer. The camp was situated in the pine forests, and was a village of wood cabins, each with their own names and steeped in traditions. The most beautiful part of the camp was my place of work; the lake. When the children arrived, the whole camp transformed into a bustling community where privacy no longer existed. Coach after coach of children arrived fresh from the city, with children of ages from six to 16 years old. With the majority of them returning year after year, it was almost as if they were teaching me the traditions of camp life. Each child is allocated to a cabin: the emphasis of the summer is one competing with the other cabins in order to be the best on camp. A welcoming ceremony and banquet took place before activities began the next day. As an Activity Director, I would teach sailing all day every day, which was by the far the best job on camp, given the fantastic scenery and the temperature barely falling below 30 degrees. Before leaving for America I had no experience of teaching and so the first couple of lessons were a little shaky to say the least, but I soon got in the swing of things and began to realize what an amazing experience camp offers. I quickly developed deep bonds with the children. Each night the counsellors hold ‘vespas’ where the children get to talk to each other about anything ranging from silly stories and games to deep conversations about themselves. Nothing can prepare you for working on a camp for kids. I’m usually quite a shy guy in large groups and suddenly I found myself leading songs and dancing about in front of 200 people. The hardest part is learning to let go

of all inhibitions and just go crazy. Camp is somewhere where you can be your true self without having to worry about being judged. The whole experience went so quickly, but it was by no means an easy job. Each day you wake up at 7am, and the children are your responsibility until late into the night. Days off came about once every two weeks, and by then all I wanted was to lounge about. Leaving camp was a very emotional moment. After living and working with the same people for three months it’s difficult to describe the bond you have as a group. Each of us then went our separate ways travelling around America before returning to our homes all over the world. Despite the seemingly neverending list of positives there is one main drawback to a summer in America; the pay. Camp America by no means is a way of making big bucks. After joining fees, a CRB check and visas, I had already spent more money than I knew I would make over the whole summer. That, added with travelling afterwards (and the inevitable shopping spree), meant I came home with nothing to show for myself but the memories of an amazing summer. I had arrived at camp terrified and under-prepared, but left happy in the knowledge I had succeeded in testing myself to my limits whilst at the same time being part of an extremely close community. The list of skills camp teaches you is endless, and nothing can explain what it feels like to be part of something so special without actually doing it for yourself. For those of you in two minds about whether to do it or not I would say go for it with all guns blazing and you’ll have the best summer of your life.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

PUZZLES & HUMOUR

Coffee Break Losing 9,000 books under the bed By Kate Dobinson What is the equivalent of losing an elephant in a zoo, or a mother misplacing one of her triplets? It may be the British Library losing 9,000 of its books. How is that done? Where have they gone? Are the librarians eating them? Maybe mice of rather rich taste have been nibbling away at the spine ‘Of the Lawful and Unlawful Usurie Amongest Christians’ by 16th century German theologian Wolfgang Musculus, and valued by the Library at £20,000. Or perhaps they’ve been lobbed into a garden wheelbarrow and been stolen, traded or bought to build a new Berlin Wall. Tempting as it is to ignore the boring peripeteia - that they have just been lost or misplaced over the years - I’m afraid it is probably so. For who steals books? Any police line-up of the British Library’s staff and ageing type of the visiting population would probably not have stolen them. And so that leaves... The common student. Physically able and mobile persons, any student would achieve the mean feat well. Architects of such deviance would be recipients of praise and admiration for their deft heroics; the casual slip of 9,000 dusty tomes into a red and white patterned rucksack a cause for celebration. Students to one side, it would seem that plenty of other factions

within the library going set would like to pinch the print. Edward Forbes Smiley III (a dealer in rare world maps) was sentenced in 2006 for stealing 97 of them; all in all the maps were worth around $3million. Similarly, Farhad Hakimzadeh, an Iranian collector, was jailed in January for cutting maps, illustrations and pages from priceless volumes in the British Library. Neither of these men can account for the 1876 illustrated edition of Alice in Wonderland which is also missing. This is all very curious. Last month, hundreds of students at the University of Cardiff protested with ‘Books not Bombs’ in reaction to the university’s links with arms companies. They may be better suspects for the British Library’s recent point of mourning, though the books were not forwarded on

for financial gain but brandished as symbols of education and freedom. Books are powerful tools in times of unrest and revolution. On the other hand, I was once present at the reference desk when a clueless first year asked: “I need to find out Ibid’s first name for my bibliography; do you know who he is?” This is the kind of comment which would provoke outrage at the British Library, whose famous following of authors and researchers constantly mark their indignation at the overwhelming presence of seemingly troublesome undergraduates in the institution. Last year, Lady Antonia Fraser, widow to Harold Pinter and author of detective fiction and biography, remarked: “of particular irritation is the notion that many undergraduates now come to the library to relax, meet and text friends, and play on laptops, rather than to read books. It’s become a social gathering.” The austere reputation of the British Library is finely cultivated to provide for the literary world a safe-house for research and solitude. Indeed it does not match with that of the IC but, correspondingly, should be open to as many students who are respectful and require the resources which are unavailable at their University library. Perhaps librarians are worried that there won’t be enough books to go around.

Picture of the fortnight

CROSSWORD

Across 1. Oily or greasy (9) 5. Bet (5) 7. Young eel (5) 9. Land measure (4) 10. Sultry (6) 12. Dairy product (6) 13. Hex (4) 15. Crowd scene actor (5) 16. Hidden drawback (5) 18. Accumulated (9)

Down 1. Cutting tool (3) 2. Remedy (4) 3. Wildcat (6) 4. Contradiction in terms (7) 6. Article of clothing (7) 8. Findings of a jury (7) 9. Of times long past (7) 11. Attack (6) 14. Dull pain (4) 17. Concealed (3)

Last issue’s crossword solutions: ACROSS 1.Orchestra 7.Orbit 8.Rider 9.Era 10.Instep 14.Astute 15.Din 18.Femur 20.Igloo 21.Badminton DOWN 1.Oboe 2.Cabaret 3.Eats 4.Tyrant 5.Aid 6.Abrupt 11.Baffle 12.Mob 13.Stared 16.Kiwi 17.Triplet 19.Coin

FROM FORGETODAY.COM mOST POPULAR CONTENT THIS MONTH: 1. Occupiers end protest after march on Firth Court 2. Lacrosse team take National title after perfect season 3. Naseem’s sparring partner keeps boxing club fighting 4. The Hicks occupation will do nothing for Gaza 5. Tobin elected President Two rugby league players get to grips with each other during Varsity in this picture by Helen Munro. See your pictures here. Email press.features@forgetoday.com or send a picture message to 07765363716.

Up the wall.

Cartoon: Kate Carson

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

Davis backs Crucible to keep World Snooker

FEATURE SPORT

By Matt Duncan For many, Steve Davis is snooker. The man known as ‘The Nugget’ has won six World Championships and dominated the sport throughout the 1980s. The man is one of those sportsmen who is fully deserving of the term legend. Despite all he has achieved in the world of snooker and subsequently as a popular sports broadcaster, there is still a passion that burns brightly within the Londoner, and this was clearly on show last month during qualifying for this year’s World Championships. Speaking immediately after coming from 5-0 down to beat Lee Spick 10-8, it was clear to see that getting to the Crucible still meant something for the 51-year-old. “I really only play for enjoyment now but winning is always enjoyable. Getting to the Crucible is great; if I lose there it is still better than losing at other venues. “It’s always a little bit like panic stations when you are qualifying but it doesn’t do you any harm having a game like that.”

I think you throw all that history of the game away at your peril Davis also had a lot to say about the state of the game in general, especially over the issue of sponsorship. This year’s World Championship will be without a major sponsor. “Times are hard, but I am not too worried about it all to be honest,” said Davis. “I honestly believe that with the world economy as it is, the whole concept of sports sponsorship is one that is going to see a lot of changes. “Saying that, it is a huge shock that no company sees the opportunity to get around 140 hours of primetime television coverage on the BBC as worth selling out for. “Perhaps it is a moral decision by firms not to be seen spending money on things that are not seen as necessary.” The world of snooker has seen a growing debate in the past year or so regarding the sport’s international expansion, with some calling for the World Championships to move away from Sheffield and possibly go abroad. Davis is not one of them. The massive new interest in the game from China, in part due to the success of the likes of Ding Junhui, has resulted in an influx of money from Asia. The contrast between the rising focus on snooker in China and the dwindling attendances at tournaments in England could scarcely be starker. In January, Ronnie O’Sullivan suggested that snooker would benefit from a Simon Cowell-esque figure to give the game a new lease of life and boost public interest. Davis disagrees, and believes that taking the game away from its spiritual home would do snooker more harm than good.

Davis has rejected calls to move the snooker World Championships away from Sheffield. “I think you throw all that history of the game away at your peril. For me it would take a huge reason, like a ridiculous amount of investment to decide to move away from Sheffield. Davis was already looking forward to his appearance at the Crucible later this month: “I still consider myself to be a player; it still hurts me when I lose, even though that happens more than it used to. A player’s whole

season can rest on how the World Championship goes. There is no other tournament like it.”

Davis said he “didn’t care” who he drew at the World Championships This year’s championship promises to be as interesting as ever, with Ronnie O’Sullivan

installed as the bookies favourite. The main focus in the build up has been the blossoming rivalry between ‘The Rocket’ and ‘The Jester from Leicester’, Mark Selby. The pair have met a several times in the past year with the matches getting tenser and tenser. If the draw goes with form then the two will meet at the quarterfinal stage, a fact which takes away the possibility of what could well be a great match being a

Photo: Matchroom Sport classic final. Steve Davis, in the aftermath of his epic qualifier simply said that he “didn’t care” who he drew. In which case he will not mind the fact that he has been drawn against world number 10 Neil Robertson. The Australian has been tipped by many as one to watch at the tournament. The World Championships start on Saturday, April 18, at the Crucible Theatre.

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

SPORT REPORTS

Tennis team cap excellent season with triumph in Northern Conference Cup By Chris Rogan The men’s tennis team brushed aside a brave University of Central Lancashire side to win the BUCS Northern Conference Cup, completing a memorable season. It was an impressive victory, with Uni winning 8-2 overall, which is perhaps surprising given that UCLan finished second in the North West League. Sheffield were not daunted by the opposition’s credentials, however, winning both doubles matches easily. Team captain Christian Kleeli and Chris Harrison took their rubber 8-5, and Conor O’Kane and James Blackwell won 8-4. Harrison comfortably won his singles rubber 7-5 6-3 to continue the winning start, and O’Kane also won his match to make victory all but secure. The UCLan team managed to keep the tie alive as Jamie Williams was overpowered 6-3 6-3 in the third rubber. James Blackwell ended any hopes of an away victory, though, thrashing his opponent 6-1 6-1. Blackwell was a late stand-in for Sheffield’s captain Kleeli, who had injured his wrist during his doubles match. Sheffield came a close second in the BUCS Conference this season, and will hope that success will bolster confidence in the team. Kleeli, despite being unable to take part in the latter half of the tie, was elated with his side. He said: “We’ve had a good season overall; winning the Cup means a lot to the side. “I thought there would have been a chance to win the Cup at the start of the season and am delighted with the team for doing so. “I feel that we’ve put in a good effort this season, we’ve got a strong and well-put together team so we’ve got high ambitions for the coming year.”

Having overcome Hallam in the quarter-finals, Sheffield went on to win the BUCS Northern Conference Cup.

Netball initiative By Matt Duncan The University of Sheffield Netball Club have started a scheme aimed at encouraging local Muslim women to get exercising. The club have linked up with Fir Vale School to give parents of the school’s pupils the chance to play netball and exercise in a safe and appropriate environment. The scheme is being organised by Sports Officer Ella White. “Many Muslim women have never exercised before due to cultural boundaries. We are there to give them a place where they can take off their hijabs and exercise.” The project is part of a wider initiative that has already seen Muslim women go on a bike ride. It is aimed primarily at parents of pupils at the school, which is situated in the Grimesthorpe area of the city. The area is notorious for social deprivation and high unemployment rates. Around 10 members of the Netball Club are involved with the scheme, which runs on Monday evenings at the school. “We are booked in for four weeks but if we are successful,

which looks likely, then we will stay on for longer than that,” said White. At the first week’s session around 15 women turned up, said White. “Many of these women told us that they had never done any exercise.” It is not seen as appropriate for Muslim women to wear traditional sports clothes such as skirts, a fact which makes it hard for Muslim women to find an environment in which they feel comfortable doing exercise. Women are also not expected to exercise with men and so finding a suitable venue can be a huge problem. “I would encourage other clubs to get involved in this sort of scheme,” said White. “It is a great way to give something back to the community and just seeing the response of the women makes it worthwhile. “This has been one of my main aims this year as Sports Officer, to try and get sports clubs to be more involved in the local community. Schemes like this are really easy to organise, you just need to get a group of people together.”

Photo: Helen Munro

Captains await cricket season By Jonathan Caldwell The final weekend of April marks the start of the 2009 BUCS cricket season, and both the men’s and women’s sides are confident of success. Having unexpectedly forced Hallam into sharing the point at this year’s Varsity, the men’s sides will be hoping to carry their form into the opening round of fixtures. The first team captain Mark Williams believes the club is in good shape going into the season. He said: “It is about as good now as it has been in my time here. “I am a fourth year now, and in my first year I remember there were two teams and we used to have to scrape sides together. “Now we have three teams and a squad of around 50 lads who are all good enough to be playing.” The first eleven are preparing for another season in the BUCS Northern Conference 1A, and Williams is confident that the side are capable of retaining their place in that division for next season, while setting half an eye on the knockout stages at the end of season.

“We lost around seven or eight first team players at the end of last season, so the majority of the new side are second years with a couple of freshers. It is a very young 11. “Two freshers, Ben Reece and Matthew Milburn, look like they could be an important part of the team for a while.” The real strength of the club lies in its depth. Williams said: “The second team, I would say, is probably the strongest of the three teams. “If you took away the best 11 players from the whole squad, the next best 11 are about as good. It is definitely the best second team I have known in my time here, and the same could probably be said of the thirds.” The women’s team, who Williams coaches alongside his role as a first-team player, are also hopeful of a successful season, and have been buoyed by a larger than usual influx of new players. Captain Kate Rickard said: “Although we’ve lost a handful players from last year, we have a really solid core of players who are really dedicated and up for it. “We feel more prepared than we normally are at this stage,

we are certainly more organised and Mark (Williams) has been so amazing at getting us in the right mindset.” While the weather had an adverse effect on the side last season, Rickard feels that the side can realistically push for a place in the BUCS knockout stages this time around. She said: “We know it won’t be a breeze; it will be really difficult and a bit of a battle but everyone is prepared for that. “From what we have seen from our indoor matches, the standard has been raised, which is obviously a good thing.” One thing that has pleased Rickard is the increased integration between the men’s and women’s clubs. She said: “It is the one thing I have really wanted since starting with the club in my first year. “Varsity was the first time that I have known both teams to be really supporting each other. Before there hasn’t been a lot of contact between the clubs but I think we really impressed them with the way we played. “Some of the guys were obviously impressed with the kind of shots the girls were playing.”

FORGE PRESS Thursday April 2 2009

REPORTS SPORT

Successful fight night showcases the University’s developing boxing talent By Ross Turner The University of Sheffield Boxing Club staged a successful fight night last Sunday to demonstrate the continuing rise of the sport among Sheffield’s students. The club, which hit a low last year with only two regular members, used the entertaining night to showcase its talent and the resurgence of interest in boxing at the University. Captain Joe Simpson, who was forced to consider closing the club last year, said: “The night went even better than I’d expected; there was a great turnout and the fights were of a really good standard. “Everybody had a good time and the progress shown by some of the first years at the club has been really encouraging.” Boxing was omitted from this year’s Varsity programme as Sheffield Hallam could not put forward a competitive team. But Simpson is hopeful about the prospects of it been included next year, as well as the chances of the University putting a team forward for the BUCS Championships. “We had the opportunity to submit a team for the BUCS Championships this year but decided we wanted more time to train our members as most of them are first years. “We will definitely be participating in next year’s competition though, and judging by our current progress, we have a good chance of doing well. “Hopefully Hallam will be able to get a team together for next year, too, as the rivalry between the two universities makes it a great experience opportunity for our boxers.” Simpson has been a part of the University’s Boxing Club for two and a half years, but, like many of the new students at the club, only started boxing when he came to University. “There are about 20 first year students who have never boxed to a decent standard before joining this year, and already they have

Photo: Helen Munro

Two of the University’s boxers go head-to-head at the fight night organised by the Boxing Club. become noticeably more skilled and experienced. It would be great to get more students who have never boxed before, and we’re hoping for a similar response among the freshers next year.” There has been more attention than usual given to the Boxing Club this year due to the appointment of Prince Naseem’s ex-sparring partner, Thomas

Bradley, as a trainer at the gym. However, Simpson does not believe that this is the reason for the revival of the club. He said: “People are not drawn here because of Thomas; they just want to box. There’s no doubt, though, that once they see how professionally the club is being run and the positive influence that he brings it encourages the

members to stay. “Thomas has been boxing a long time and he’s trained with some of the best fighters from these shores from the last 10 years. “He doesn’t expect our students to do anything they’re not comfortable with, but when they are ready he has the skill and know-how to ensure they get the best possible guidance.”

Sunday night’s event was not only an exhibition of the University’s talent, but through the impressive turnout also showed a wider interest in boxing among non-competing students. If the fight night was anything to go by, the future of University of Sheffield boxing looks bright, especially with the emergence of first year talent seen on Sunday.

Football club launch appeal bid after referee “bias” By Rachel Blundy The women’s football club has launched an appeal after accusing match officials of bias in the final of the Northern Conference Cup. The club has formally complained to BUCS (British University and Colleges Sport) after a string of dubious decisions were made in a 4-2 defeat to Cumbria University. The team has also claimed that the match officials celebrated with Cumbrian players at the final whistle, which led many to question the legitimacy of the fixture. Sheffield’s first team captain, Natalie Froggatt, said: “The referee wasn’t appointed by the FA or BUCS like we were led to believe. One of the linesmen was a Cumbria player, and the other had some affiliation with Lancaster FC and was a friend of the referee.” She continued: “We were expecting impartial and trained officials as it was a cup match. But

in the game itself the decisions made were ridiculous. “One linesman was running continuously with her flag raised so that all our players were called offside every time.” With the appeal currently still pending, Sheffield’s coach, Spencer Taylor, said: “We didn’t appeal in order to get the match replayed, but to ensure nothing like that happens again to another team who work so hard to get to a final.” He revealed, however, that the outcome of the initial appeal could still mean that the result is eventually overruled by BUCS. He added: “I’m still really gutted; I’ve never seen anything like that in 25 years of football.” The match, held at Lancaster FC’s Giant Axe stadium, marked the first time a Sheffield women’s team had reached the final of a BUCS tournament. Sheffield got off to a great start in the match, when Jen Pearson put Sheffield 1-0 up in the first half. The lead was consolidated by an early second half goal from

Melissa Hallmark. However, there was heartbreak for Uni as the side conceded four controversial goals in the dying minutes of the second half, prompting criticism of the officials. Sheffield also had numerous goalscoring opportunities called offside, and questioned the officials for denying them a number of penalties. Cumbria’s second goal was allowed by the referee, despite some feeling it should have been ruled out for offside. Froggatt added: “Overall I was pleased with the team’s performance. We got ourselves into a good position despite the bias shown towards Cumbria. “However, it’s always hard to play at your best when the decisions go against you and frustrate the entire team. I also doubt that the lack of impartial and properly trained officials would be a problem if this was a men’s football cup final.” BUCS have confirmed that they are investigating the incident.

The women’s football club have appealed to BUCS.

Photo: Adam Harley

SPORT

Steve Davis interview Page 29

Football “bias” Page 31

Crowd violence spoils final day of Varsity tournament

A supporter is led away in handcuffs by police after trouble at Abbeydale yesterday. (Inset) Violence broke out on the pitch after the last fixture. By Robert Golledge & Michael Hunter The finale of this year’s Varsity was marred by crowd trouble which left several students in need of medical treatment and threw the competition’s future in doubt. The first half of the men’s rugby first team match was held up for around 20 minutes while Uni and Hallam fans were separated following violent clashes at Abbeydale Sports Ground. Stewards removed all Uni fans from the main stand after bottles were thrown amongst the crowd, sparking a fist-fight at pitchside which resulted in some supporters needing stitches. After three weeks of competition there was a repeat of last year’s conclusion, with the universities deadlocked at 22-22. Uni women’s rugby player Hannah Evans, who was watching the game, became caught up in

the brawl. She said: “I was stood in the stand and behind me a few Hallam lads threw a few bottles and hit some Uni girls. “That seemed to spark the violence and the game was stopped. I was right in the middle of it and was trying to get my bag. “It just happened really quickly and for a while it seemed like there was no control of the situation.” One Uni student who witnessed the trouble said: “In the far side of the stand a couple of bottles were filled with piss by Hallam fans and hurled at some Uni fans. “It then descended into a mass brawl and got out of control.” One paramedic confirmed that “five or six” people required treatment following the violence, with one male student alleging that he was hit by a bottle. Twelve security staff were hired to steward the event, which attracted 4,000 fans, at a cost of

£2,000. Tom Wallace, a third year Sociology student, said: “They [Hallam fans] formed a block and started hurling abuse and throwing stuff, Football Factorystyle. “A bottle got thrown and smashed over a girl’s foot.” Union Sports Officer Ella White was deeply upset by the incident. She said: “It’s an absolute disappointment that about 10 people created an incident which has wrecked the event. “The Uni fans, to their credit, were the most responsive and moved out the stand and I was really pleased with them. It was the Hallam fans who were most volatile. “I was personally upset because the event has been planned for eight months and we’ve had three weeks of competitions. “I felt the security didn’t handle the situation very well at all. “I won’t be recommending the

event goes ahead next year unless there is a full review into today’s incidents. “We got the police in straight away and things started to get sorted. Next year I will be recommending more security and less alcohol.” Hallam Sports Officer Sam Gill played down the troubles. She said: “There was one incident in the main stand and it got dealt with and we moved on with it. The event is so strong that it hasn’t ruined it.” When asked if the rivalry was too intense after several fans needed medical attention, she said: “I think the rivalry has got to be there and without it the competition wouldn’t exist. “You’re never going to avoid rivalry between two big universities and it is what makes the competition.” South Yorkshire Police were called to the scene after the violence.

Photos: Helen Munro & Sam Bennett One officer said: “There has been some trouble and the organisers were just a bit worried that things might get out of hand.” The presentation ceremony at the end went ahead as usual, but Uni and Hallam fans were segregated to avoid any further trouble. However, despite a police presence there was still a number of bottles thrown after the result was announced. When the action eventually resumed on the rugby pitch, Hallam ran out 15-9 winners, but it wasn’t enough to secure an overall Varsity win as the competition ended in a draw for the second year running. A mass pitch invasion at the end of the rugby capped off a chaotic day which saw security and medical staff stretched to their limits. There was also violence on the pitch during the invasion, though this was swiftly halted by police.