April 2020 // 15
DES
S Y O TR
RATED
Episode 17
"The Big Shot"
PG
PRETTY GOOD!
Written and Illustrated by Dana B. Larrabee dalar ents@gmail.com
Previously:
Malcolm D. Monster promises ad man Lester Krasse two million dollars to deliver a marauding T. Rex to promote his new Salinas Monster Mart store. But when despite Army tank fire, the creature escapes clutching teenager Neil Scallopini to wreak havoc on Salinas, it takes Air Force jets to subdue it with tranquilizer dart-tipped missiles, and the T. Rex and Neil are incarcerated. Krasse cobbles together a fake T. Rex commercial hoping to win over Monster Mart, and local media reps begin courting him, one of whom is KTOM radio’s Sue Foxx. CEO Monster nixes Krasse’s fake dinosaur commercial, insisting on the real deal. Undaunted, Krasse convinces Sheriff Naylor to release the creature on a “work furlough” for Monster Mart’s commercial starring the heavilly sedated GODZELDA. When Neil sees it, he reveals how the T.Rex came out of his iceberg hunting expedition for the Icily Nicely Ice Co., and demands to be released. Later when Captain Horatio Algae corroborates his fantastic story, Neil regains his freedom, and just as Monster Mart’s Grand Opening commences he learns from Felicia Nicely how Lester Krasse defrauded the company. So Neil sets off for Monster Mart in the Kharman Ghia he and his father restored to find Krasse and get Felicia’s money back...
Dr. Quayle clicked open his attache case. The lining was soaked with the drug meant for the Tyrannosaurus. “Oh dear! The syringe must have broken when I ran into that young man.” “Can you give her the shot or not?” Krasse demanded though clenched teeth. “Oh yes,” answered the doctor. “It will be just a moment while I prepare another....” Godzelda was still under the effects of Doctor Quayle’s earlier injections, but Krasse knew they were wearing off. The monster was breathing more rapidly. She stirred in her drug-induced slumber frequently, and when she moved, the steel chains binding her rattled unnervingly. Krasse looked at his watch. Mr. Monster’s speech will be over pretty quick, he thought. Sure enough, over the store’s sound system, he heard Malcolm D. Monster launch into his concluding remarks. “How and why the dinosaurs all vanished is anybody’s guess,” he said. “In the meantime, my sincere thanks to all of you for coming... and especially to Lester Krasse for helping us and-- SMACK!! catching the doctor at the wrist. He to bring you the one and only living dinosaur in the drew back in pain. The syringe shot up into the stage world....” lights, arced past the dinosaur and disappeared into “Through here, Doctor!” Krasse hissed, and led the wings. him on stage directly behind Godzelda. “Hurry and “You okay, Mr. Krasse?” do it!” he whispered hoarsely. “Monster’s almost “Yeah, yeah!” snapped the ad man. “Come on! through yakking! We haven’t much time!” Let’s get outta here!” He fumbled for the part in the “And now, ladies and gentlemen,” Mr. Monster backdrop, and they scrambled off stage. went on expansively, “I give you Godzelda, the living “I certainly hope everything will be all right,” murtrade-mark for the largest shopping emporium in the mured Dr. Quayle, nervously rubbing his wrist. “You world... Monster Mart!” The recorded music swelled know, she knocked that hypodermic right out of my to a crescendo, and the curtain rose on the Tyran- hand. If only I hadn’t run in to that funny young man.” nosaurus Rex. The crowd gasped. “Two monsters “Young man?” Krasse repeated. “Who do you for the price of one!” quipped Tommy Kaye while mean?” Malcolm D. Monster waved good-bye to the wildly “Scallopini, I think he said his name was. Oh, and applauding crowd and departed stage left. Mr. Krasse, he was looking for you....” Timidly, Dr. Quayle approached Godzelda’s imKrasse paled. For until that precise moment, he mense hind-quarters. Just above where her tail had failed to make the connection; Scallopini was the began, there were numerous puncture marks from kid Icily Nicely sent after the iceberg. He’d forgotten previous injections. He swabbed the area with cotton all about that business. Or, maybe he’d come about soaked in alcohol and pressed the needle closer. those commercials he was supposed to make. No, The sudden chill must have startled the beast, for wait a minute! He was the one climbing the fire esshe growled threateningly. Her tail twitched and sud- cape the day Godzelda attacked Salinas, the same denly whipped about, knocking over Lester Krasse kid the sheriff asked about. That’s it, he decided. #17-25
COPYRIGHT 2019 BY DANA B. LARRABEE ALL SLIGHTS DESERVED
He’s after the dinosaur. Maybe even wants a piece of the action. Well, no way that’s gonna happen! “Thanks, Doc,” he said. “You’ve been a big help. You’ll have to excuse me just now, but stick around, okay? We may need you later.” Then he ducked out to find a security guard, pouncing on the first one he saw. It was Calvin McGraber, who’d brought in Dr. Quayle. “Has some kid been nosing around looking for me?” he demanded. McGraber nodded. “Yeah. Name’s Scallopini. You want me to find him?” “I want you to find him and get him out of here!” “Sure, Mr. Krasse. I know right where he is.” “Great! Remove him at once! But be cool about it. We can’t have a fuss with all this mob. Understand?” McGraber smiled and nodded. “Gotcha, Boss.” Krasse pulled out another cigarette, lit it, and inhaled deeply. Now he could relax. With Godzelda drugged and Scallopini out of the way, his troubles were over. The store would be a huge success, he’d nail down his Monster Mart contract and pick up a bonus in the bargain. Finally, Lester Krasse was on his way to the Big Time! Next issue: Episode 18
Smashing Prices
All previous episodes available at www.foolishtimes.net
