Zip it

I loved my teenage jeans. Sure they were skin tight, and even as a slim person, I often laid on the bed to zip them. However, once zipped, they covered almost everything from ankle to armpits. Blue jeans encased us like a denim girdle — or a hug.

Prior to that, my childhood was spent in OshKosh B’Gosh overalls, remember those? They had all the fit and style of wearing suspenders and a barrel, but they were oh-so-comfortable and practically indestructible.

I am convinced there were actually only a handful of OshKosh products made. They were then handed down and traded among the mothers of America forever after.

Then, all of the denim designers started cutting corners — or at the very least waistbands — in the early 2000s. I was a new mother right around the time America’s zippers shrunk. Just about the time I needed to bend, crawl, stretch and lunge after toddlers, all pants became low rise “hip huggers” with a stubby little zipper.

Worse, if you bent over or sat down in low rise pants, you risked an indecent exposure charge. I took to wearing long cardigans and “wraps” for a solid decade for fear my pants didn’t cover enough.

Cool. Now, we are assured that the 1990s are back and with them the coolest trend ever: mom jeans. Apparently, the word “cool” has lost all meaning as I once knew it. There was a time that “mom” and “high fashion” simply did not exist in the same sphere. Now they are all the rage.

I’m seeing waistbands that reach the belly button, pleated fronts (no, just no), and a nice straight leg with plenty of room in the seat and thigh. Not only can you sit safely without a hint of “back crack,” you could probably do cartwheels in these jeans. That is some consolation in a world of tiny zippers and “low rise” that risks arrest.

I do not know what misconception the denim and zipper industry is operating under, but I am here to set them straight. We, the women over a certain age in America, would like to zip up our pants, preferably using zippers greater than a quarter inch long. (Kymberly Foster Seabolt is on the quest for the perfect pants. She welcomes comments at LifeOutLoud@Comcast.net; P.O. Box 38, Salem, OH 44460; or KymberlyFosterSeabolt.com.)

SMITHVILLE, Ohio — The Adult Workforce Readiness Education at the Wayne County Schools Career Center is offering a Microsoft Specialist in Word credential. This course is open to adults with a desire to prepare for and earn the Microsoft Office Specialist Word Certification. Certification provides proven competency to perform a number of software tasks, such as creating and managing documents, formatting text, paragraphs and sections, creating tables and lists, applying references and inserting and formatting objects. Adults enrolling in this free course will have the opportunity to improve basic language and writing skills while learning Microsoft Word. There are no prerequisites for this course or minimum education requirements prior to enrollment.

Registration is now open for the summer cohorts:

• May 31-June 27, Monday-Friday, 9 a.m. to noon

• July 6-Aug. 3, Monday-Thursday, 4 to 7 p.m. Call 330-669-7070 to reserve your spot. Questions regarding the class can be directed to aeinfo@wcscc.org.

Community garden project. Central State University Extension is offering a free program called Black Heritage Community Garden Project at the CSU Seed to Bloom Botanical and Community Garden, at the intersection of U.S. 42 E and Wilberforce-Switch Road, across from the main University entrance.

The following are the dates and themes of the Black Heritage Community Garden Project:

• 6-8 p.m. June 15, Garden weeds, pests and diseases;

• 6-8 p.m. July 20, Early harvest;

• 4:30-6:30 p.m. Aug. 24, Extending the season with fall crops/mid-season harvest;

• 6-8 p.m. Sept. 14 — Extending the season/last harvest/clean-up.

To make reservations, or for more information, contact CSUE Agriculture/Natural Resources Associate Clare Thorn at cthorn@CentralState. edu or by calling 937-376-6627.

Rain barrel workshop. Carroll Soil and Water Conservation District is hosting a rain barrel workshop at 6 p.m., June 8 at the Carroll Soil and Water Conservation office. The office is at 613 High St. NW Carrollton, Ohio. Participants will receive assistance assembling their rain barrel and suggestions for its placement and use.

The cost of the workshop is $32, which includes tax, a barrel and the rain barrel connection kit as well as assembly assistance. Participants should be prepared to transport their own barrel home at the end of the workshop. Register for the workshop by calling the office at 330627-9852. Registration is required to attend the event.

Garden teacher classes. 4-H ProjectGreen Teacher, the school garden series for educators and others who are interested in school gardening, will return to the Ohio State University Columbus campus, June 12-16. The series will be hybrid this year and participants can participate either virtually for $25, or inperson for $40. In general, the program will run from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. daily with an exception for those participating online.

Session topics related to school gardening include steps to starting a school garden, engaging administrators, colleagues, the community and more; understanding soils, site selection, behavior management, bees and native pollinators, season extension, hydroponics, aquaponics, integrated pest management, plant health, chickens, celebrating the harvest, farm to school connections, evaluating your school garden and more. Presenters are from a variety of backgrounds and include classroom teachers and OSU Extension personnel. The series will culminate with a 4-H ProjectGreen Teacher certificate, and the opportunity to earn up to 20 contact hours depending on attendance. For more information, contact Sue Hogan at hogan.239@osu.edu.

(To add a nonprofit event to our gardening listing, send details at least three weeks in advance to: Gardening News, Farm and Dairy, P.O. Box 38, Salem, OH 44460; or email: editorial@farmanddairy.com.)

HUNTSBURG, Ohio — A bake sale will be held by Claridon Congregational Church, May 29, 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. with the Memorial Day observance at Claridon Center Cemetery at 10 a.m.

All proceeds will benefit the fund to repair damage to the sanctuary of the church.