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Comforters

When itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for kids to let go

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WELLINGTON / ISSUE 59 / Spring 2014

fit families

How to get 60 minutes of physical activity a day – the easy way In a special series of articles for Family Times, Jackie Cowan and Nick Draper – primary school and physical activity specialists from the University of Canterbury – highlight some activities, family games and resources that can help families add more fun physical activity into their lives.

e know that there are many benefits to regular physical activity. Throughout this series of articles, we have described how these benefits can be so much more than physical. This is especially so when enjoying physical activity experiences with family and friends in which positive social and emotional outcomes can be gained as children learn to enjoy moving in a safe and secure way, with people they trust and whose company they enjoy. The physical activity guidelines for children (5 to 18-years) outlined jointly by Sport NZ and the Ministry of Health and Ministry of Education recommend 60 minutes of accumulated physical activity per day. Children spend five days a week getting to and from school. Accumulated, this is a considerable amount of time to consider. How can you look to incorporate physical activity into this travel time? In our first article we touched on walking and scootering to and from school as an option if safe to do so. Research tells us that there are fewer children walking to and from school now and this is for a number of reasons. Our roads are busier and cars are faster, parents are often trying to coordinate their commute to and from work at the same time, children don’t always attend school in their local communities and

feelings of safety have diminished over time. Understandably it can be quite a challenge to consider alternative ways of transport to and from school. This is especially so when children are of an age where they will still require an adult to supervise the trip.If your children are transported to and from school daily and you are flexible with work and other commitments, consider freeing up one day a week to walk, bike or scooter with your children. Build it into your weekly routine. Think about safe options and if children are old enough, work on a safe “travel plan” together. This may involve considering mode of transport and the route you will take. If children are old enough to bike, make good sensible decisions about the age, experience and ability of your children and consider the route to ensure a safe trip together. Ensure your children have had plenty of biking practice and are confident on a bike before attempting to bike to school. Use cycleways whenever possible to avoid roads and have a small parent/child ratio when biking. Alternatively, consider working in with friends or school families in your local community to make this easier. Chances are that if you find the coordination of school transport a challenge, others will too and they may be

only too happy to make a travel plan with you. Talk to other parents about options and it may be that you can organise a day each where you collect 2-3 other children from your street or thereabouts and walk or scooter them safely to school. Taking turns can ease the demands on any one family but still ensures that children are guided to school by an adult. That could be fun! You could formalise this using the idea of the “Walking School Bus.” The walking school bus idea is supported by New Zealand Land Transport and many city councils. Similar to what we have said above, the walking school bus works on the notion that an adult will guide a group of local children to school. The children are picked up along the way from designated places (usually their homes) by the adult rostered on for that particular day. The walking school bus provides the physical activity intended. It encourages socialisation and connectivity within the community (children and parents/caregivers), can be educative in terms of learning about road safety and can help to reduce traffic congestion around schools. Good for many reasons. We have promoted the ideas that physical activity experiences can be enhanced when with family and friends and a lifelong interest in physical activity is likely to be increased if children develop positive physical activity habits from a young age. Look for and choose physical activity options that work for both you and your children so these experiences can be enjoyed by all. Check out our health section @ www.familytimes. co.nz for more on family physical activity

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From the editor Contents Think for a minute about how hard it is to give up the things that you like.

Features 2 Family physical activity

aybe it’s chocolate, sleep, exercise, or a glass of wine. Maybe it’s time to yourself, that holiday you’ve been planning, or a game of golf on a Saturday morning. As human beings, we reward ourselves with something that brings us comfort in some way. But when you become a parent, you inevitably sacrifice many of life’s comforts for the sake of your children. But then, you find a way to replace those things with something else that you can have. You can’t drop everything and go shopping with the girls, so instead, you buy a few delicious things that you love to eat at the supermarket. Instant comfort. Believe it or not, as adults, we still have our “comforters.” Just imagine yourself at a large, formal social gathering with a lot of people you don’t know. Do you hold on to a glass or cell phone? Would you feel confident meeting people without those things? It’s similar for kids. When they drag their familiar blanket around everywhere with them and scream blue murder if you try to take it away, what they’re afraid of is losing that buffer zone that they have with an uncertain world. It’s no wonder then that some kids take a long time before they are ready to part with an object that they associate with comfort and protection – essentially a “stand-in” for their parent/s. For example, registered psychologist Prue Urlwin says that kids in Canterbury may be more reluctant to let go of their comforters

Get fit as a family with a walking “school bus.”

3 What works for our family

We ask Family Times readers who packs their kids’ lunches.

14 Election 2014

Political parties talk family policy.

How to protect your kids from cyber threats.

15 Online bullying 16 Birthdays

due to the trauma that they have endured over the past few years through the earthquakes. They feel a strong need to have an item of comfort with them just in case of the worst. This issue we talk about comforters in our main editorial feature. Are they good or bad, at what age should a child be ready to forsake their comforter and embrace the world without it, and do pacifiers have a negative effect on development? Of course we’ve got all of our regular features too, as well as competitions and giveaways galore. Happy springtime everybody. Enjoy!

Birthday party etiquette for adults.

Stay water safe this warm season.

Teach stranger-danger without fear.

17 Water safety

18 Keeping kids safe

Kids Corner 10 Kids’ corner

Competitions, games and reviews.

4 Comforters

What works for my family W

e asked you - our Family Times Facebook family - who makes the children’s lunch in your house. Here’s what you said:

Maria Pine-Mariu

My 16 and 13-year-olds make their lunch. They started when they were all kindy age: four onwards. I wanted them to know at a young age that they were one of seven children that I had, so I got seven children and they all made their own lunches.

Sally Eyre

My 8-year-old does: as if she makes it, she eats it (mostly)!

Katie Morgan-Lumber

It’s a mix between myself (mum) and my eldest son who’s 10, and youngest at age 7. Depends on how late the boys are for school, so generally me.

Sam Bone

I don’t have a child I am just pointing out that my age is 14 and I make my own lunch.

Gina Possibly

Pffft, hubby still makes our son’s and he’s 16!!! Spoilt much I say! Dannie is the last of four kids at home so he’s the baby. We talked about why he doesn’t make his lunch and his reasoning was very simple: you show me you love me when you make my lunch.

Jane Hunter

I still make the sandwiches every day but they

do everything else – ages 14 and 12. I should probably let go!!

Arna Kamariera

Snugly blanket, dummy, or a pet toy – when is it time to let go?

6 Kids and chores

Getting kids involved in family responsibilities.

7 Choosing a school

Public, private, integrated or charter – which school is right for your child?

8 The terrible twos

What’s going on with your two-year-old terror?

My kids are 5, 6 and 7. They make their own lunches. I just check at the end to make sure they have enough for the day.

9 ADHD

Kirsten Leitch

9 Words of Wisdom

I make our girls' age 5 and 6-years, and the 38-year-olds. But he works full time, so I am happy to make it; my choice.

Is the answer in our food?

Parenting expert Diane Levy answers your parenting questions.

7 Resource information 10 School term dates 12 Calendar of events 13 Entertainment 20 Top Reads

Lisa Vujcich

My 10-year-old makes her lunch every night. She has done since she was six. Teaches them responsibility. If she doesn’t make a good lunch she goes hungry. She has come home hungry a couple times. But not lately...

Emily Brunt

My 2 and 4-year-olds help make their lunches... they have almost mastered buttering bread for sandwich making too.

Arna Kamariera

I find if they make their own they appreciate their own choices more than what they would if I make it... and some days they may want a banana instead of an apple for example. So as long as they have yoghurt, sandwich and three pieces of fruit, they can choose which “goodies” they want to add. Visit us Family Times New Zealand on Facebook to have your say!

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Media Executives Shona Robb, Nicky, Barnett, Katie Morgan, Naomh Cusin, Penny Leary, Olwyn Knowler Office Manager Raelyn hay Office Assistant Jackie Pithie

Contributing Writers Nick Draper, Jackie Cowan, Diane Levy Reach us at: Family Publishers (NZ), P.O. Box 36-004, Christchurch 8146, NZ Ph. 03-355-9186 0800285 510 Fax: 03 3559 183 Mobile. 0274-359-414 admin@familytimes.co.nz www.familytimes.co.nz Distribution Printed and distributed quarterly approximately two weeks before each major school holiday. 35,659 distributed through early childhood centres, primary and intermediate schools, public libraries and selected medical and midwifery premises. The opinions expressed in this publication are not those of the publisher unless indicated otherwise. No part of this publication may be reprinted without the expressed written permission of the publisher. Family Times is not responsible for unsolicited material. Family Times is funded and published solely through the support of its advertisers. They support us, so please support them. www.familytimes.co.nz

feature story

Why kids love comforters Snugly blanket, dummy or soft-toy – when does a comforter become a crutch?

t’s cute when your two-year-old carries around a fluffy blanket and holds the silky edge close to their face. But what about five years later when that blanket looks more grey than pink no matter how many times you wash it, it’s patchy with a few holes, but your child refuses to go to sleep without it?

Why a comforter?

Lots of children use comforters. The object is a reminder of the special close times that infants have with their parents and becomes a stand-in for that closeness. They are a kind of bridge to help children move from the safety of being with their family to the big world around them, according to registered psychologist Prue Urlwin. “If a child has a comforter it is probably a reminder of sucking, which is calming. Sucking or holding comforters can help young children to feel safe when they are not with parents or family members, until they are old enough to feel okay by themselves.” Children usually have a strong need for the object at times of stress, change or separation, such as bedtime or when in child care, and studies have found that comforters help children to deal better with times of stress or anxiety.

Are comforters safe?

Parents can encourage a child to use a particular comforter (such as a teddy or soft toy) by leaving it with the child at bedtime,

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but it is not possible to make a child choose what parents want. It has to be something that is special for the child. Plunket national child safety advisor Sue Campbell says that if your child had become attached to a particular blanket or toy, it’s important to be alert and check regularly that their favourite toy or blanket hasn’t become a danger, and it’s still safe for them to handle. “Take the age of the child into consideration when deciding whether a toy or blanket is safe in the first place. Favourite toys and blankets that are well-loved by children do wear away. Be aware of threads coming loose as they could come off and become a choking hazard.”

“As the child develops, their need for the comforter will lessen.” Self-settling

Not all children have comforters. Research shows that children who sleep near their parents or a sibling at night, and who are cared for during the day by a parent or other close family member, seem less likely to need a comforter. But as any parent will know, comforters are very important for the children who do use them. Some parents chose not to give their child a comforter in fear that it will inhibit their ability to self-settle. In short, without their security blanket, or dummy, their child will

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refuse to go to sleep on their own. However, research does show that the majority of children give up their comforter at an age when they feel safe and ready to undertake the growing challenges of life more independently – things like going to preschool, staying overnight with a relative other than their parents, or even sleeping in their own bed.

What age is normal?

Many babies get attached to a special toy or other comforter by the age of 6-months. From 8 to 9-months onwards, their need for the comforter can be very strong, especially at times when the child is not with a parent, and particularly at sleep time. For a child less than one-year-old, researchers say it’s a good idea to remove the comforter from the child’s cot once the child is asleep. As the child develops, their need for the comforter will lessen. Children are usually ready to give up their comforter by 3 to 4-years of age, once they feel safer in the absence of a parent – at least in the day time. However, when it comes to dummies (pacifiers) medical experts say that children need to be encouraged to stop sucking on a dummy ideally by the time they are two. There seems to be relatively little harm if the child continues until about three, but for normal development of their teeth and jaw, earlier is better. If your child does use a pacifier beyond the age of three, it’s important to make sure that they stop before their adult, permanent teeth come through at age 5 to 6-years.

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feature story Pacifiers – good or bad?

There are claims that pacifiers have bad effects on the health and development of children. However, claims that children who use dummies are likely to be less intelligent than other children is untrue – in fact, some researchers claim that tiny, premature babies who are given a dummy do better developmentally than those who aren’t, and using a dummy appears to lower the risk of SIDS. Children who use dummies are no more likely to get ear infections than those who don’t. But when it comes to breastfeeding and pacifiers, there are some things for parents to keep in mind. For example, if dummies are used with very young babies before breastfeeding really gets going well, the babies may not suck on the nipple as well as is needed to keep up the milk supply. Also, dummies should not be used to make breast-fed babies wait for a feed when they are hungry unless your doctor or child health nurse suggests it to make the time between feeds longer.

“Children usually have a strong need for the object at times of stress, change or separation, such as bedtime or when in child care.” Giving up

For the most part, as kids develop more independence, their need for their comforter will lessen. They may still feel that they need it when they start preschool, but they usually become quickly aware that other kids don’t have them, and may become embarrassed about it. If this is the case, you can perhaps pin a dummy, or a small piece of their special blanket,

on the inside of their pocket so that they can touch it when they need to, until they are ready to give it up. Gradually, their need for it will lessen until they forget about it altogether. A slightly tougher habit to give up, although it’s also a form of comforter, is thumb or finger-sucking. It’s harder to give up simply because thumbs and fingers are always there. It is important to try to curb the habit by the age of three though, as ongoing thumb or finger sucking can result in dental problems.

They won’t give it up

It’s best for children if they can give up their comforter when they are ready, not when others think they should, says registered psychologist Prue Urlwin. “If a child still needs a comforter/thumb a lot after 5 or 6, or if they can’t play without it, it would be important to try to find out if there are any underlying stresses in their life.” Sometimes 1 or 2-year-olds will give up their comforter, but they don’t always understand that they can’t have it back when they need it and may become quite distraught. So it’s better to let nature take its course: nagging about it will make the child more worried and need the comforter more. When you can see your child needs it less, put their comforter on a shelf when they are happily playing. You can tell your child where the comforter is so that they can get it when they need to, but it won’t just naturally follow everywhere they go. Try to engage more with your child during the day so that they think about it less. If a child still needs a comforter a great deal after 5 or 6 years of age, or if a younger child is unable to enjoy play without the comforter being there, it is important to try to find out what is happening in his life and to deal with any underlying stresses.

Comforters – safety and other tips •

Practice safe sleeping. It is important for babies to have their faces clear at all times. Remove anything from your child’s bed that could prevent them from breathing while sleeping, such as blankets they could pull over their face.

•

Avoid buttons. Don’t give a child anything that has buttons or sewnon small attachments that could find their way into a child’s mouth. They could fall off and become a choking hazard.

•

Protect fingers and toes: steer clear of loops and holes. Children can get their fingers/toes caught in the holes in blankets, or in loops stitched on.

Check the size of holes in blankets to make sure your child can’t get their fingers or toes caught.

•

Be alert to dangers. Loose threads can become a choking hazard.

•

If you see that your child is choosing a blanket or soft toy to be special, you could buy another one like it, so that they can both wear out at the same pace and can be changed when one needs washing.

•

If a baby chooses the bottle as a comforter, make sure that there is only water in the bottle between feeds. Continually sucking milk or juice can damage teeth.

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Is getting your kids to do chores a chore?

Most of us grew up with responsibilities in the family. Maybe it was doing dishes, doing the ironing, mowing the lawns or feeding the family pet.

might jump in and do it for them, which would undermine the whole point. 2 Don’t delay. You might think your child is too young. But your kids may be more capable than you think. Kids can do a lot of chores at an early stage, for example, getting clothes to the laundry or cleaning up after dinner. Rather than taking the approach of waiting until they’re “ready”, take the approach that they will learn by doing. oday, with the busy lives and schedules that parents and kids have, some parents 3 Don’t be stingy with praise. Don’t wait until the chore is done: praise and find it easier to just do the chores themselves: encourage your child while the chore is in it avoids a confrontation with the kids at progress. You want to build positive mothe end of a long day, and after all, you can mentum, especially with young kids. probably do the job faster and better yourself. 4 Don’t be inconsistent. Elizabeth Pantley, For those parents who do try, it can be a author of parenting books including Kid struggle to get children to do the basics such Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagas making their bed, putting their toys away, ging, and Pleading and Get Kids to Coopor setting the table for dinner. erate, says if your kids aren’t expected to However, parenting experts agree that deregularly follow through, they might start spite the meltdowns, the arguments, and even putting chores off in the hope that somehostility at times over chores, if you don’t give one else will do them for them. your kids responsibility, you are making a rod for your own back and depriving your kids Start kids young. Young children have a desire from making a valuable contribution to the to help, even as young as age two. Although it family: learning responsibility in the family is a can be more work for parents at first, giving way to help children discover their meaningful young children simple tasks like putting their role in the family, and to develop a sense of toys away is training them for the future. purpose and significance. Remember to be careful with rewards. If you want your kids to develop an intrinsic sense of Pitfalls to avoid when it responsibility, they need to learn to not focus comes to chores on what they get, but what they contribute. 1 Don’t insist on perfection. No one is Also, don’t shelter them from the natural perfect, and it’s better to have a more consequences of their mistakes. If they fail to relaxed approach to how well your kids put their favourite clothes in the washing, let do their chores. Otherwise, you might them learn that they won’t have their favouhave a struggle on your hands. Or you rite clothes for their weekend party.

Age appropriate chores

Chores for children ages 2 to 3 • Put toys away • Fill pet’s food dish • Put clothes in hamper • Wipe up spills Chores for children ages 4 to 5 Any of the above chores, plus: • Make their bed • Empty wastebaskets • Bring in mail or newspaper • Clear table Chores for children ages 6 to 7 Any of the above chores, plus: • Sweep floors • Set and clear table

• Help make and pack lunch • Keep bedroom tidy

Chores for children ages 8 to 9 Any of the above chores, plus: • Load dishwasher • Put away groceries • Vacuum • Help make dinner Chores for children ages 10 and older. Any of the above chores, plus: • Unload dishwasher • Fold laundry • Clean bathroom • Change their bed sheets We’ve got parenting covered. For more parenting features, visit us at www. familytimes.co.nz.

La Leche League The birth of Jessica’s first baby was eagerly anticipated. She read all the books and went to parenting classes. Despite this Jessica couldn’t believe how hard it was being a mum and how lonely she was. She was breastfeeding but didn’t know if she was doing it right. This all changed when Jessica went along to her local La Leche League meeting. Jessica met other mums just like her, who had sorted out their breastfeeding issues and had plenty of tips to share. La Leche League groups meet all around New Zealand. Find where at lalecheleague. org.nz or facebook.com/LLLNZ.

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Choosing the right school for your child Are you confused about your options when it comes to choosing the right school for your Kiwi kids?

• Schooling arrangements for other children in your family

2. Narrow down your options

Think through your options, bearing in mind the differences between schools. Sometimes it helps to make a list of pros and cons when aybe your chid is starting school for the making your decision. Some of the choices first time, transferring due to a shift, or you might have to consider are: simply isn’t finding their current school to be • Co-educational or single sex? a good fit. Whatever the reason, choosing a • Integrated (religious) or nonschool used to be a relatively simple choice denominational? between state or private school, co-ed or • Private or state-funded? single-sex. But these days there are a plethora • Boarding school, correspondence or day of choices available. Here are some hints on school? finding the right school for your child: • Special needs or regular school?

1. Compile a list of possible schools

Make a list of local schools, considering: • How close the school is to your home • How your child will travel to school each day

3. Contact your favoured schools

At this point, contact selected schools to learn more about what they offer.

Stay at our place: YHA New Zealand There’s no need to break the bank or cut back on comfort when holidaying with your family. YHA offers accommodation at a fraction of the cost of hotels so families can save their money for their sweet New Zealand adventures. Times have changed and YHAs aren’t just for backpackers anymore. We offer dedicated private rooms with bunks for the little ones and double beds for the grown-ups. Many of these rooms have ensuites so when your kids need to make that night time pit stop, they won’t have to leave the room. Staying with YHA means you can whip up your favourite meals in our fully-equipped kitchens. With everything

provided you only need to bring the groceries and the kids will still get their 5+ a day. Make yourselves at home in our comfortable lounges, gardens, barbecue areas and hang out rooms with games and DVDs. And sleep easy knowing YHA takes our guests’ safety seriously. YHA have thorough security and staff are contactable 24/7. You’re also guaranteed that we have no bars on site. So pack up your whanau, hit the road and stay at any of our 45-plus YHAs in the best spots around New Zealand. Check into your private room, make yourself at home and go do what you actually set out to do. You’re not staying in a hotel - you’re staying at our place.

4. Consider the quality of education at the school

• Read the school’s ERO report (this report from the Education Review Office outlines a school’s achievements and standards in a wide range of areas, and is carried out every three years. Reports are available at no cost from schools and ERO offices) • Talk to members of the Board of Trustees, the principal and the teachers • Find out how teaching and learning are managed at the school

5. Visit the school

As a parent of a prospective pupil, you have the right to visit a school and meet with the principal and/or staff before enrolment. Make appointments to visit the schools you are considering. Remember too, that depending on the age of your child, it isn’t just your decision as a parent – take your child along to school visits, ask what their preferences are and include them in the decision making process. Here are some options of different school types available in New Zealand:

Bilingual school

At a bilingual school, teachers and children teach and learn in both English and another language for up to 20 hours a week (most often English and Maori).

Designated character school

This is a state school that teaches the New Zealand curriculum but has developed its own sets of aims, purposes and objectives to reflect its own particular values. For example,

religious beliefs or culture.

Independent (or private) schools

These schools charge fees, but also receive some funding from the government. They are governed by their own independent boards and must meet certain standards to be registered with the Ministry of Education. They don’t have to follow the New Zealand curriculum but must follow a learning programme of at least the same quality.

Te kura kaupapa Maori

These are state schools where the teaching is in te reo Maori and is based on Maori culture and values.

State schools

Most New Zealand schools are state schools that receive government funding. Lessons are based on the New Zealand curriculum. We’ve got education covered: visit us @ www. familytimes.co.nz.

ERO seeks feedback on popular parent booklets ERO has published a series of five booklets for parents and caregivers. The booklets are part of an ongoing commitment to support parents wanting to know about their child’s progress at school. The booklets also cover useful information for boards of trustees, give parents an insight into effective teaching, and cover the importance of career pathways and parents’ involvement in their child’s journey from education to employment. The latest booklet, “Your child’s education: Learning opportunities in New Zealand,” is

an overview of education in New Zealand, from early childhood education through to secondary school. We want to make sure parents find the information in these booklets useful. That’s why ERO is seeking feedback about the first booklet in the series, “How is my child doing? Questions to ask at school.” Parent feedback will help us improve our publications and the way we communicate our information. Go to the “featured publications” section of our website – www.ero.govt.nz – to have your say.

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK OF OUR BOOKLETS The Education Review Office (ERO) recently published a series of five booklets for parents and caregivers. We want to find out how useful the information has been, if it could be improved, and if parents would prefer to receive it in a different way. We’re starting with a survey of How is my child doing? Visit www.ero.govt.nz to take part in the online survey. The survey runs until the end of September. Meanwhile if you would like a copy of one of the booklets email info@ero.govt.nz or visit our website www.ero.govt.nz

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Terrible twos – myth or reality? It can happen anytime in a child’s second year, long before their second birthday or even closer to their third.

ut for almost all children, there is a space in time when they morph from the angelic baby stage to toddlerhood, and a phase commonly lamented by parents as “the terrible twos.” Maybe it starts at the lolly aisle at the supermarket; complete breakdown, a screaming tantrum that won’t be calmed. Or if you’re lucky, maybe it’s at home when your child doesn’t get to eat what they want for breakfast. Food finds its way to the floor, the walls, into your child’s hair, and there’s more inconsolable crying, yelling and screaming. Either way, there are few parents who get to dodge the bullet of the terrible twos, as the vast majority of children go through this stage says registered psychologist Prue Urlwin. “It’s all part of natural development. However, every child and parent is different

in many ways, depending on resources, family support, how they were parented, if a child is at preschool, unwell, different temperaments and personalities, first child or following child. There is no one way to parent and even within a family different children may need differing strategies.” The main thing to remember is that the terrible twos are a stage: a developmental stage, that is, and it will end. It’s also important to remember that your child isn’t necessarily trying to be defiant or rebellious on purpose. They are expressing their growing independence and they don’t necessarily have the language skills to easily express their needs. That can be why the word “no” becomes their favourite word and why they frequently resort to hitting, biting and temper tantrums when they don’t get their way, says Urlwin. “Two-year-olds can become frustrated quickly because they have not yet learned to manage their emotions. They have mastered walking, running and are starting to talk but they are still learning social skills. Hitting and biting can be partly experimental

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and exploration or finding it hard to communicate.” It can be easier to get through the terrible twos if you arm yourself with knowledge about your child’s development in advance. For example, tantrums can occur for a host of reasons. In your mind, as a parent, the colour spoon you eat your breakfast with is hardly due the effort of an all-out tantrum. But in the mind of two-year-old, it can seem wholly justified, and very important. It’s at this age that children have an enormous explosion of brain development, and with it comes increased independence and personal preferences. However, young children still have a limited understanding of what is going on the world around them, and are challenged and confused by the emotions that they feel. They look to their parents or caregivers to be an anchor in the exciting but ever-changing world that they are growing into. Here are some tips to help you manage the terrible twos: • Provide your child with stability. Have a regular routine for meals, naps, bedtime etc, and try to stick to it. • Give your child some choices, but limited ones. Ask if they would prefer an apple or an orange, rather than what they want for a snack. This makes them feel like they have some decision-making power, but not open-rein. • Set limits, and stick to them, even when your child tests them. They want to see what they can get away with. • Don’t give in to tantrums. • Introduce time-out and confiscation of toys as discipline techniques. For more helpful hints with babies and toddlers, check out www.familytimes.co.nz.

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ADHD – is the answer in our food? It’s no easy feat raising a child who has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Rucklidge. “That’s one of the reasons that parents do give their kids these drugs: they think that it makes a difference to education. But parents are becoming more aware of the long term impacts and the outcomes ost kids with ADHD have the social and for children, and in terms of education it is emotional maturity of a child two thirds certainly no better and some statistics show their age, up to half of them also have specific that outcomes are actually worse.” Rucklidge’s clinical trial at the University learning difficulties such as dyslexia, and 40 of Canterbury, funded by the Vic Davis – 60% exhibit behavioural difficulties such as Memorial Trust, is the first of its kind. defiance. Participants are given a cocktail of vitamins and The ADHD Association of New Zealand minerals daily, containing 46 micronutrients estimates that between 2 – 5 per cent of in 15 pills. They’re generally in higher doses Kiwi kids have ADHD, and up to three times than the recommended daily intake , and as many boys are diagnosed with ADHD not specifically tailored to individual nutrient than girls. As many as 50 – 80% of children deficiencies. As Rucklidge says, people’s bodies with ADHD will continue to meet diagnostic are very good at expelling any nutrients that criteria in adolescence and up to 70% they don’t need, so there is no harm in the continue to have impairment as adults. broad spectrum approach. So when clinical psychologist Dr Julia The pilot has shown some impressive Rucklidge says the answers to ADHD may be results: publically released case studies show in our food, there are eager parents signing up complete remission of ADHD symptoms and their kids for her three-year clinical trial at the other symptoms too. “When they get better, University of Canterbury. the entire body gets better,” said Rucklidge. Rucklidge became interested in the “Anxiety, behaviour problems – you get relationship between nutrients and ADHD changes in all areas.” after studying research about the relationship “We don’t cure everyone this way, because between nutrients and mental illness over the there are various reasons why people suffer from past decade. psychological illness, but in our trials, we see a “In the late 1990s, it was generally believed good response in 60-80% of people we see.” that diet had no or little impact on ADHD Rucklidge is now running a clinical trial with behaviours. But in the last 10 years, scientists the nutrients for children with ADHD aged have started to rethink this perspective and 8 to 12-years-old, who are medication free. pay more attention to this,” said Rucklidge. Sixteen children have already started the trial, The stimulants Ritalin and Dexamphetamine with none dropping out, which Rucklidge have been used for more than 40 years, and believes is a good sign. international studies show that between 80“There’s a lot of public interest. This is the 90% of children with significant ADHD are first clinical trial of this kind, and I think it’s helped by those drugs in the short term. very exciting and cutting edge. People are “In the short term, they do have that effect interested in diet now, because it is – I think – – kids calm down and concentrate,” said the way forward.

Give your toddler a Wild Start! Wild Start is Wellington Zoo’s new early childhood programme, designed to help your toddler celebrate the wonder of animals and nature. Held weekly during term time, the 45-minute interactive, play-based learning sessions are led by our zoo educators. Each week’s sessions are different, encouraging your child to explore more of the world around them with your help. “Wild Start is something we’re really proud of. It’s important to connect kids with animals from an early age, and this programme is all about encouraging young children to explore the natural world around them,” said Wellington Zoo learning manager Lynn Allan. Wild Start is exclusive to Zoo

Crew members and costs just $10 per child, per session. There is no charge for their accompanying adult. Zoo Crew, Wellington Zoo’s annual membership, gives you unlimited zoo entry for a whole year, as well as lots of other discounts and exclusive offers and promotions. Bookings for Term 4 are being taken now on the zoo’s website; activities include meeting and touching some of Wellington Zoo’s special contact animals, helping to prepare animal enrichment, and participating in nature-based story-telling, music and dancing. For more information about Wild Start in Term Four (starting 14 October) email zooevents@wellingtonzoo.com, call 04384-3692, or visit wellingtonzoo.com.

Words of Wisdom with Diane Levy Exuberant five-year-old How is it possible to get a loud, overly excitable five-year-old child to keep his voice down and use it at appropriate times? He’s a “life-of-the-party” personality and gets carried away when there are people around. People = audience in his books! It is certainly possible to teach your excitable five-year-old to exercise appropriate selfrestraint, but it will require you to give up on growling, explaining, nagging and reprimanding. The words “appropriate” and “inappropriate” are useful. They help make any call for his self-restraint particular to the situation rather than attacking his “life-of-the-party” personality. It is also important that we keep our children’s dignity intact. Be determined that each time, as he begins to move into inappropriately over-excitable, noisy behaviour, you go over, put a hand on his arm or shoulder and quietly and firmly say, “You are getting too noisy. Can you stop?” Wait with your hand on his arm or shoulder until he acknowledges you and agrees that he can quieten down. If he declines to quieten down or if he starts up again, take him to a private spot, away from everyone, sit him down and say firmly, “We are waiting here until you are sure that you can quieten down to suitable (or appropriate) behaviour. I’ll check with you in five minutes.” Spend the five minutes silently looking at your watch. If you do this every time his behaviour or

Wild Start

at Wellington Zoo

noise level is over the top, he will begin to learn appropriate self-restraint while still keeping the joyful part of his nature. Submit your parenting questions and concerns to family therapist, counsellor, parenting coach and speaker Diane Levy. This is a regular column, so get those questions flowing! Email us at editor@familytimes. co.nz. Get an order form for Diane’s popular books via www.familytimes.co.nz. For more advice from Diane Levy, check out www.familytimes.co.nz.

Help your toddler celebrate, and learn about, the wonder of animals Specially designed for children 18 months - 3 years, Tuesdays & Fridays 9.45 – 10.30am, lus 14 October – 19 December ive to Zoo For more information and to book Cre visit www.wellingtonzoo.com wm em ber s

Exc

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2014/2015 primary and intermediate school term dates

SCHOOL TERM DATES

Term 4, 2014

Monday 13 October Friday 19 December

to no later than

Term 1, 2015

Between Monday 2 February and Thursday 5 February to Thursday 2 April

Term 2, 2015

2014 and 2015 secondary and composite school term dates Term 4, 2014 Term 1, 2015

Looking for some rainy day activities for your children? Click on the For Kids section on our website for answers and for further activities your children can print out and complete.

Monday 13 October to Tuesday 16 December Between Monday 2 February and Thursday 5 February to Thursday 2 April

Term 3, 2015

Monday 20 July to Friday 25 September

Ma z e

Spell bou nd

Find your way through the maze

Hint: Where there is a … in a clue you need to fill in the missing word.

Term 2, 2015

Monday 20 April to Friday 3 July

Term 3, 2015

Monday 20 July to Friday 25 September

Monday 20 April to Friday 3 July

Kids Time

Welcome to Kids’ Time at Family Times. Enjoy the fun activities and competitions. For competitions, just fill in the entry form and post it to us by the due date or enter online by visiting www.familytimes.co.nz and click on the competitions link.

Remaining public holidays 2013 27 October 25 December 26 December

Kids Maze

Can you find your way to the basket of the hot-air balloon?

Labour Day Christmas Day Boxing Day

6 8

7 10

www.tepapa.govt.nz/TePapaPress

Written and developed by Te Papa senior education programmer Helen Lloyd, in consultation with senior art curator Sarah Farrar, the book is a treasure-chest of drawing activities, many of them inspired by paintings, photographs and prints from the national art collection.

spot the difference Spot the Difference

Can you spot 8 differences between these 2 pictures

KM023_Balloon_PUZSOL.eps © Lovatts Puzzles Can you spot the eight differences between these two pictures?

RRP:

$29.99

Across 1. Crosswords have ... and white squares (5) 3. A tube you suck a drink through (5) 6. A vegetable that might make your eyes sting when you peel and cut it (5) 8. Quacking bird (4) 10. Slightly open (4) 13. Colourful arc seen in the sky after it rains (7) 14. Leather strap held by a horse rider (4) 16. Stick used to hit a ball in golf (4) 18. Winged heavenly messenger (5) 19. Stared (up at the stars) (5) 20. Marshy land (5) Down 1. Rock group (4) 2. Person who prepares meals (4) 4. Fish you can buy in a tin (4) 5. Tusked Arctic mammal (6) 7. Pressing clothes after they are washed (7) 9. Short-legged dog (5) 11. Gemstone (5) 12. The season when flowers bloom (6) 15. What you are called (you have a first one and last one and maybe a middle one) (4) 16. A spike on a cat’s paw (4) 17. Collide with, ... into (4) Chase more puzzles visit our website www.lovattspuzzles.com

Spot The Difference - Cartoon spotDiff007_Wild_West.eps © Lovatts Puzzles

www.WellingtonPlaycentre.org.nz

ISSue

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201

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Tips

for

Winter issue 2011

our quick Are too up

as well ers asnts ious Partn pareharmon a home

Win Win Win

Childhood trauma

Competitions, giveaways and vouchers

Helping kids bounce back

tmas Chris my th ts Yum trea king wi ba Optimum sleep ve fun e kids Win

s, Win hers Winmpetition vouc Co and ways givea

Maximise yourHa child’s learning

potential

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Eight-page suppleme nt on “the new normal”

IN CINE MAS

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Solution: 1. Light in saloon window, 2. Hole in barrel, 3. Chimney, 4. Extra arrow, 5. Mountain range on right of picture, 6. Dollar sign on money bag, 7. Native American’s knife, 8. Extra sun.

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Win Natu r al M eds prize packs Keeping well in winter needn’t be hard work – Natural Meds has a range of quality vitamins and supplements for the whole family. Family Times has eight prize packs to give away, including Nordic Naturals Children’s DHA , strawberry flavoured omega-3 soft gels made from 100% wild Arctic cod, and Children’s Oxylent, a delicious Berry Punch multi vitamin drink that supports your child’s health and wellbeing. For stockists, visit www.naturalmeds.co.nz.

Win a LUSH prize pack – 25 to b e won

LUSH Fresh Handmade Cosmetics are giving away this beautiful gift pack of warmth, comfort and Mediterranean citrus jubilation. It contains four products that will help you look on the bright side of life! LUSH is known for its strong ethical stance against animal testing, support for grassroots organisations, environmental stewardship and stunning products for the skin and hair. Everything is freshly handmade with high-quality fruits, vegetables and essential oils to make you feel like a ray of sunshine when you use them! Contains: Sugar Scrub, Each Peach (And Two’s a Pair) Massage Bar, Olive Branch shower gel, and a wedge of Bohemian soap.

Family times: Design competition Design a spring outfit made out of flowers and vegetables. It could be for you, your mum, your dad or anyone else. Please describe what it is made out of. Send us your picture and be in to win an amazing $50 prize pack from Crayola! Three entry age groups: preschool (age 1-4), 5-8, 9-12. Create your design on an A5 sheet or download the template and entry form from www.familytimes.co.nz. Post in to PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146. Entries close on 11 October 2014. Congratulations to our competition winners from our last issue Design your very own New Zealand superhero. Thank you also to kidsonscreen for the idea, DVD prizes; and also to our judge: Felicity Milburn of the Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna O Waiwhetu. They are: Luke Harrison, (1-4 years old) This is Nightman. He has the power to put people to sleep and change the shape of the moon.

James Yang, (5-8 years old) Spider James is saving the people.

win win win

Win LEGO ® Friends First Aid J u ng le Bike RRP $2 9.99

Speed to the rescue on the LEGO® Friends First Aid Jungle Bike. There’s a monkey in distress trapped in a cave and it’s up to Emma to save him. Help Emma to shovel the fallen rocks and then check the monkey with Emma’s medic bag. Give the monkey a banana to eat and use the walkie-talkie to radio home. Set includes Emma mini-doll figure, monkey, First Aid Jungle Bike with detachable side-car and other accessories. Ages 6 – 12. We have 20 x LEGO® Friends First Aid Jungle Bike sets to give away.

Wairaamia Taratoa-Bannister , (9-12 years old) Kia Ora my name is Junior Platnium. I work 24/7 until my enemies are in heaven. My powers are kiwifruits that fly and my back up is Pav who is very sly.

win win win

Win a Teenag e Mutant Ninja Tu rtles movie prize pack – in cinemas 1 8 Se ptem b er. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is released 18 September 2014. To celebrate we have 5 prize packs to give away. - 1 x In-season double pass - 1 x Longboard - 1 x Pizza cutter - 1 x Toy This competition ends 30 September.

J ust tick the thing s you want to win

   

LEGO® Friends

Name Address

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles LUSH prize pack Natural Meds prize packs

Post Code City Phone

To be in the draw to win, enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz or write your name and address on the back of an envelope or postcard and send to: Christchurch Competition, PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146 to reach us by October 11th, 2014, unless stated otherwise. Only one entry per household. www.familytimes.co.nz

cool activities

Calendar of Events It’s time to put away the winter woollies and get excited about all that the new season has to offer. For more event and entertainment ideas, visit www.familytimes.co.nz and enjoy our large, familyfriendly resource.

rio Show takes a close look at the weird and wonderful curios hidden away in Wellington houses. From 5.30-8pm. Bookings and information museumswellington@wmt.org.nz.

20 - 28 September

Wellington Botanic Garden Spring Festival. Celebrate the end of winter! This festival features guided walks, workshops, entertainment and exclusive tours of other attractions in the area. Free admission. Visit wellington. govt.nz/springfestival .

12 September

Discovery Day. Hutt City Discover Day is a fun family day out where you can explore a range of local activities. Free or gold coin donation. From 10am-4pm, Dowse Square, Laings Road, Lower Hutt.

14 September

The Daffodil Express. Celebrate spring and travel with Steam Incorporated from Wellington to Carterton by heritage excursion train to attend the annual Daffodil Festival. From 8.40am – 5pm, for prices and bookings visit www.steaminc.org.nz.

18 September

Curio Show. Inspired by Antiques Roadshow, the Museum of Wellington City & Sea’s Cu-

21 September

Tulip Sunday. Celebrate spring and Dutch culture. See thousands of tulips – and other spring flowers – and enjoy family entertainment. There will be flowers and delicious food for sale. Botanic Gardens, 11am-3pm, free entry.

25-26 September

INSIGHT Studio performances. See NZSD students demonstrate contrasting techniques and the repertoire they are learning in the studio where they train. Entry is by koha/

The Marvellous Adventure of Jack and Daisy

KidzStuff Theatre presents Rapunzel by Amalia Calder

Jack and Daisy the cow both dream of being performers. They want to join the KKT Players, a famous acting group. But the group is penniless, so Jack sets out with Daisy to help their new friends. Can they climb a massive mountain to fetch a pail of water? Jump the flaming candle stick? Pull a plum from a pie? Fight a giant for gold? Only with your help! This is a story about believing in yourself from Kapitall Kids Theatre.

Rapunzel is trapped in a tower, and it just so happens that it’s on an island protected by DOC. When a prince who’s being made to work at DOC for “real life experience” comes to work on the island, he soon finds out that it’s not only birds that live there! On Monday – Friday 11am and 1pm, Saturdays 11am only. Cost $10 each, groups of 10 or more $9. For bookings phone 04-385-0292 or visit www.kidzstufftheatre.co.nz.

donation and no booking is required. From 6-7pm. Visit www.nzschoolofdance.ac.nz.

4 October

Sustainable Kids Workshop Series. Join us at our award winning EcoCentre, and make something fun out of recycled materials. All materials are provided. Ages 3 to 12-years. Koha $5. Contact clare@sustaintrust.org.nz, phone 04- 385-0500 ext 714.

Delve into a chapter of activities bringing stories to life with Capital E’s Book Bazaar.

RAD Teaching Certificate

We welcome all students from 2½ years to teens.

New Zealand

ENROLLING NOW!

An invitation to all girls aged 5 to 18...

Please phone Stephanie Treurnich Ph: 021-189 4956 Newlands Community Centre 9 Batchelor St, Newlands Johnsonville Community Centre 3 Frankmoore Ave, Johnsonville Wainuiomata Community Centre Queen St, Wainuiomata

Ph: 04-477 3556 • Email: info@littletutus.co.nz

www.littletutus.co.nz

Come join the fun & friendship at any of our nationwide locations.

Gryphon Theatre Wellington, 22 Ghuznee St 29 Sep - 11 Oct

MON-FRI 11AM, 1PM

www.girlsbrigade.org.nz

SATURDAYS 11AM

E-mail: info@girlsbrigade.org.nz

Bookings: (04) 934 4068 Tickets $10 : Groups 10+ $9 www.kapitallkidstheatre.co.nz

Karori Recreation Centre Preschool programmes School-age programmes Adult classes Facility hire Sports league 251 Karori Road, Karori, Phone 476 8090 Wellington.govt.nz 12

www.familytimes.co.nz

19 October

Tennyson Street Fair. A day of food, entertainment, music, workshops, community competitions, market stalls, art, and more. Tennyson Street will be closed to traffic and filled with activity! From10.30am to 4.30pm, free, visit www.tennysonstreetfair.co.nz.

19 October

Diwali Festival of Lights. Sample the colours, sounds, tastes and spicy aromas of India including food stalls, dance and music, and beautiful displays. TSB Bank Arena, Queens Wharf, 1-10pm. Visit www.asianz.org.nz.

19 October

St Benedict’s School Fair. St Benedict’s School Fair is being held from 11am to 2pm, rain or shine. Come along and enjoy the fun of the fair. There is something for everyone.

31 October

Capital E’s The Big Halloween. There’s something for the whole family at Wicked Wharf this Halloween. Get your costume ready - there are plenty of prizes to be won! At Queens Wharf, 4pm – 8pm. www.capitale.org.nz.

9 November

St. Brigid’s School Fair. Ethnic food stalls, delicious cakes and sweet treats, as well as lots of fun for the kids including a bouncy castle, games and face painting. From 10.30am – 1pm, 9-11 Phillip Street Johnsonville.

22 November Well Made - Wellington’s Contemporary Craft Fair. Featuring all manner of handmade gifts, foodie supplies, clothing, jewellery, accessories, entertainment and demonstrations. Free entry. Expressions Arts & Entertainment Centre, 836 Fergusson Drive, Upper Hutt 10am – 2pm.

Entertainment

cool activities

lots of surprises and goose-bump moments. Spring is in the air, and it’s a You might even find yourself looking over fantastic time to head out and your shoulder in terror! make the most of the rising Karori Pool temperatures. Indoors or Come along and enjoy Karori Pool’s 25m out, there’s plenty to keep heated indoor pool – warm, whatever the weather! Plus a learners’ pool with water your family entertained this features, toddlers’ pool, spa pool, 30m season. Here are a few ideas hydroslide and more. Visit karori.pool@wcc. to get you started, and we’ve govt.nz. got heaps more at www. familytimes.co.nz. Holiday specials

Capital E presents Mr McGee & Here are some great holiday the Biting Flea Mr McGee & the Biting Flea uses an assortment of props and found objects to bring six of Pamela Allen’s stories to sweet, music-infused life. Hannah Playhouse, visit capital.org.nz or phone 04-913-3740 for bookings and details.

Laughalots Wellington’s newest indoor playground and the only play-land in the region to have free amusements rides: a giant indoor climbing frame and inflatable slide, a dancing car merry-go-round and carousels.

Staglands Staglands Wildlife Reserve offers visitors the unique opportunity to feed and freely interact with wildlife in a natural environment. Open daily, visit www.staglands.co.nz.

Tyrannosaurs – Meet the Family at Te Papa Bring your family to meet the T.rex family at Te Papa from 27 September! Be prepared for

Cruise the harbour with up to 9 scheduled

ideas designed to keep you return ferry sailings daily between Wellington city and Eastbourne. and your little ones entertained during the school break. Capital E’s Book Bazaar Wellington Zoo school holiday programme We’ll take care of your little monkeys these school holidays. Visit wellingtonzoo.com for more information, and to book.

Kapitall Kids Theatre The Marvellous Adventure of Jack and Daisy. Jack and Daisy the cow want to be performers. They need help to achieve their dream! Visit www.kapitallkidstheatre.co.nz for details.

Bubbledome workshops Educational workshops for children aged 5 to16-years-old. Explore Minecraft, app development, programming and so much more at Bubble Dome. Visit www. bubbledome.co.nz for full details.

Venture into a world of wonder and fantasy these holidays as your favourite books spring from the page and transform into duck derby races, monster making, comic book creation and more! Visit capital.org.nz for information.

Rapunzel at KidzStuff Theatre Rapunzel is back with KidzStuff Theatre! From 27 September to 11 October, Monday to Friday 11am and 1pm, Saturday 11am only. Cost $10 at ticket. For bookings phone 04385-0292 or visit www.kidzstufftheatre.co.nz.

Staglands Free off-road tractor-trailer rides! Everyone visiting the reserve between 27 September and 12 October will be given the opportunity to sample Staglands’ brand new ride completely free of charge. Open daily, visit www.staglands.co.nz.

Free Tractor-Trailer Rides at Staglands

What’s on OCTOBER SCHOOL HOLIDAYS

CAPITAL E NATIONAL THEATRE FOR CHILDREN PRESENTS

PATCH THEATRE COMPANY’S “… highly entertaining, expertly performed, amusingly choreographed, musical adventures.” THE DOMINION POST

27 sep – 11 oct 11am mon - sat

Get off the beaten track these school holidays with free off-road tractor-trailer rides

www.staglands.co.nz Cafe open 10.00-4.30 2362 Akatarawa Road, Upper Hutt

29 sep – 11 oct drop-in mon - sat 9am - 3pm BOOK NOW 04 913 3740 OR www.capitale.org.nz

Principal funder

CAPITAL E IS A WELLINGTON MUSEUMS TRUST FACILITY

Available daily Oct. school holidays unless cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. (Additional charges apply at other times.) www.familytimes.co.nz

General election – what’s in it for your family? New Zealand’s general election is coming up 20 September 2014. Family Times asked political parties registered before 20 July to tell us about their best family-related policy, to help you make your decision. Here’s what they said: The Green Party The Green Party’s key social platform is to tackle child poverty and inequality by ensuring every child has enough to thrive. We have a series of policies to address this and the first is a package to support families: extending access to the 20 hours ECE subsidy to two-year-olds and improving the quality of ECE. Parents of two-year-olds could be up to $95 a week better off and it will give parents more choice e.g. for couples working full-time, just to make ends meet, it may mean that one can go parttime to spend more time with the kids.

Democrats for Social Democrats for Social Credit (DSC) will direct the

Reserve Bank to create our money supply for the public good, rather than relying on the monopoly of profit-making private banks. From that public money will come a guaranteed basic income for Kiwis of all ages, and full funding for health and education. We will provide affordable loans and terms for first home buyers and replace GST with a broader and much lower financial transactions tax (FTT). With DSC policies, NZ families can afford to raise healthy children who are welleducated, debt-free and ready to contribute. Vote DSC and make history!

The National Party

Free Doctors Visits for all New Zealanders. Focus New Zealand believes that while free and easily accessible healthcare for children is very important, when care givers are ill, the entire family network is affected. This is true for children cared for by stay-athome parents, those in paid childcare and extended family (grandparents etc) childcare. Therefore, if elected, Focus New Zealand would advocate for free primary healthcare doctors visits for all New Zealanders so that everyone has the benefit of early detection and preventative medicine.

New Zealand First

New Zealand First considers the family the cornerstone of society. For that reason, we have a comprehensive set of policies covering areas such as health, welfare, tax, and housing, all of which are designed to make family life more affordable and less stressful. Rising food prices over many years have been a major contributor to family stress, child poverty and health issues in New Zealand. Our policy is to exempt household food and rates from GST. The benefit for families will be significant.

National is investing $500 million in a package of practical support for families and vulnerable children to: • Extend paid parental leave by four weeks. • Increase the parental tax credit by $70 a week to $220 a week, and extend it by two weeks to 10 weeks. • Invest $90 million to extend free doctors’ visits and prescriptions to all children under 13. • Invest an additional $155.7 million in early childhood education. • Roll out eight new children’s teams to identify and work with at-risk children and New Zealand First introduced the zero fees their families, to screen people who work for under sixes scheme in 1997, and our policy with children, and to support children in is to extend this scheme to all primary school care. children.

Trust NZ-made baby formula Not all infant formula products manufactured and marketed in New Zealand must adhere to the strict code of conduct enforced by the Infant Nutrition Council (INC). Companies that are not members of this regulating body are not required to provide the consumer with adequate information relating to ingredients of milk formula products, or comply with any ethical or professional practices and principles. For those mothers who are unable to breastfeed and seek breast milk alternatives, they can now rest assured they are

Focus New Zealand

buying a product that must abide by stringent guidelines set out by the INC. NUZTRI Premium Formula is an associated member of the INC, placing NUZTRI at the top of the list as a healthy and safe alternative for babies of mothers who are unable to breastfeed. Available in over 81 supermarkets nationwide, NUZTRI can be found throughout New Zealand at Pak’n’Save and New World branches, as well as some Fresh Choice stores and selected Kosco stores.

The Maori Party We want whanau to be the best that they can be, supported by an equitable and sustainable health system with access to affordable, quality education and gainfully employed. Building on the success of Whanau Ora, restoring the essence of who we are, we will: • Strengthen whanau capacity to respond to, and address homelessness, overcrowding and substandard housing. • Support community action to prevent bullying of children and young people (Te Punanga Haumaru). • Extend initiatives from the Ministerial

Committee on Poverty (rheumatic fever, budgeting services, paid parental leave, home insulation, micro-financing). • Implement aspects of the Children’s Commissioners Report and the Maori Affairs Select Committee report.

Internet-Mana A priority for Internet Mana is creating a future of hope for New Zealand families. Families are best supported when parents have jobs that are paid at least a living wage, they have a decent house, and when quality healthcare and education for their children is free. Internet Mana will set a goal of 0% unemployment through direct government investment and intervention to create jobs for all those able to work, including innovative business start-ups. Internet Mana will also invest in building 30,000 homes for low-income whanau in a first government term, and invest in food programmes in low-decile schools.

ACT ACT policy is designed to encourage positive behaviour and to reduce negative behaviour. ACT would assist families by incentivising work over welfare with tax cuts to make sure that work pays, incentivise employment by extending the 90-day probation period, allow choice in education for parents and students with Partnership Schools, protect homes and families by extending our successful 3-strikes policy for repeat violent offenders to include burglary, slash expensive and wasteful regulation that destroys jobs and prosperity and eliminate race-based laws that don’t treat all New Zealanders equally.

Please note:

Family Times also asked the Labour Party, Alliance, Conservative Party and United Future about their family-related policy, but no response was received.

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Take a free tour with a professional tour guide who will show you the historic buildings, stunning art collection and talk you through the parliamentary process. Parliament Tours run daily, private and art focused tours for groups are run on request and need to be booked in advance.

For bookings and tour information: P: 04 817 9503 E: tour.desk@parliament.govt.nz www.parliament.nz

How to beat cyber bullying Bullying tactics include, but We may say that sticks and are not limited to: stone may break our bones • Sending nasty or threatening texts or but names will never hurt us, emails. but the vicious nature of cyber • Posting abusive messages online - on a social networking site, in a chat room, or bullying tells a different story. using instant messaging.

ure – bullying has always existed – but the anonymity of the internet enables kids who would not normally be up-front enough to harass, to say unimaginably cruel things again, and again and again. For parents, this is a relatively new challenge. It’s one thing to say, “Just shut off social media,” but it’s not as easy to avoid social media as you think – especially for kids and particularly preteens. Cyber bullying and trolling is on the rise. Cyber bullying is when someone uses digital means like the internet (say, email or social networking sites) or a mobile phone to deliberately harass, threaten or humiliate someone else. Cyber bullies and trolls harass their victims even when they’re not in the same physical space. While someone might escape normal bullying by walking away, cyber bullying allows the bully to hound their victim wherever they go. It is a sad reality that if left unchecked this form of mental abuse can result in tragedy.

• Posting humiliating videos or pictures

online, or sending them to other people.

• Assuming someone else’s identity online in order to upset them.

• Setting up a hate site or a hate group on a social network site.

• Prank calling, prank texts and messages.

“Cyber bullies and trolls harass their victims even when they’re not in the same physical space.” How to prevent cyber bullying • Make sure that your child only has access •

The Learning Connexion The Learning Connexion (TLC) is a tertiary art and creativity school. We teach sustainable creativity through art making. Based in Wellington, we offer a blend of on-site, study-from-home, fulltime and part-time study options. The Learning Connexion teaches across all fine and contemporary art media – from video to bronze-casting, computers to painting. Our style of teaching is to draw out, rather than to stuff in. Through our programmes, students gain a thorough grounding in fine arts and an understanding of the principles of creativity and how these can apply to other areas of their life. TLC connects with the reality of your life, enhancing career prospects through holistic education.

• •

to a mobile phone and social networking only at an age that you consider them to be responsible. Make sure that if your child has a mobile phone, tablet or computer, that they are only used in the main living area of your home and that you have all of their passwords. Enable the highest security settings. Educate your child to not give out their mobile number to anyone who is not a close friend, and to never disclose details about themselves online – age, address, gender etc – nor “friend” anybody that they don’t consider a good friend in real life.

If your child is being cyberbullied, what can you do? Talk to your children and understand the ways in which they are using the internet and their bored if they don’t get what they want. mobile phone. Make sure they know how to • Be aware that your child is as likely to be use this technology safely and responsibly. an unwitting accessory to cyber bullying • Firstly, it’s important that you have an as the actual target - by forwarding on open relationship with your child, so that emails, videos and images. they feel that they can come to you with • Block the bully’s texts, messages and their problem. emails using the settings on your child’s • Make sure that your child does not phone, social networking profile and email retaliate or reply in anger - bullies are account. looking for a reaction and will soon get • Adjust your child’s social networking privacy

settings to high and keep them there.

• Keep the evidence - learn how to keep records of offending messages, pictures or online conversations. • Protect your child’s online accounts and make sure that only you and your child know the passwords. For more on kids and technology, visit us at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Family Family Footcare

Dr. Tim Halpine Caring for your feet.

Services we offer include: • Sports injuries B OOK • Children’s foot issues AN AP • Verrucae PT • Skin and TODA Y nail problems • Orthotic Services

Active Feet Podiatry Level 2, 85 The Terrace, Wellington Phone: 04 473 8696

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parties

Etiquette guide to kids’ birthday parties Kids’ parties are simple affairs, right? A few balloons, a cake, presents, and done! But what about the adults?

nce your kids are old enough to spend time around other kids—whether it’s at preschool or school—you can expect one thing to pop up like clockwork: birthday party invitations. They just keep coming and coming and coming. They’re a great fun, interactive and social time for kids, but often adults aren’t too sure of what is appropriate for them at the party – should they stay or should they go? How much should they spend on a present? And if you’re hosting, then there are a raft of other questions too. So here are a few dos and don’ts on birthday party etiquette to help you enjoy the day too:

When is it appropriate for a parent to stay or leave a child’s party? If you’re the host

If your child is the guest

If there is nothing to indicate that your presence is requested on the birthday invitation, you can assume that you do not need to attend with your child. However, if you would prefer to stay with your child for the party, you can raise this with the host parent when you RSVP.

“Kids this age really do need a parent nearby at social events like birthday parties, no matter how independent they are at home.” At what age can children attend parties without a parent?

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We’ve got birthdays covered – visit us at www.familytimes.co.nz for more ideas.

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The Boxtrolls is a comedic fable that unfolds in Cheesebridge, a posh Victorian-era town obsessed with wealth, class and the stinkiest of fine cheeses. To celebrate we have 5 prize packs to give away. - 1 x In-season double pass - 1 x Ruck sack - 1 x Stationary pack Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz or write your name and address on the back of an envelope or postcard and send to: Boxtrolls, PO Box 36 004, Christchurch, to reach us by 30 September 2014. Check out our website for more fantastic competitions.

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The general rule of thumb is that if you request that a parent stay, you should provide something for them to eat. You can either provide enough kids’ party food for everyone, including adults, or something more suitable for adults, e.g. a cheese platter. If you are just dropping off your child, and then

As per above – if you invite adults, then provide them with something to drink. Not every parent is okay with adults drinking alcohol at a child’s party though, even if it’s just one glass of wine. So if you are not sure if the parents attending your child’s party are okay with it, gauge their response casually when you RSVP, and if anybody is against, serve a

5268

Food for adults?

What about drinks?

delicious alternative like sparkling grape juice. If you are taking your child to a birthday party, check with the hosting parent about any potential alcoholic drinks for parents when you RSVP. This way, if you are uncomfortable with the alcohol situation, you can politely decline the invitation before you turn up and have to pull away a disappointed child from the party they were looking forward to.

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When your child is a guest, plan to stay at each party he attends through the age of four. Kids this age really do need a parent nearby at social events like birthday parties, no matter how independent they are at home. Many children become overwhelmed by the excitement and the crowd at a party, and you can’t be sure that your little darling won’t have a breakdown. By age five and up, most kids are ready to go it alone at a party, provided they know a few of the guests. The best way to decide is to simply ask your child if he wants you to stay for a while. Your child will let you know if he is ready for you to drop him off and leave.

picking them up, it’s not good etiquette to help yourself to the party food, unless it is offered.

ISSN

Sometimes you may want other parents on hand to help you supervise the children during the party. This is often helpful when you’re hosting a group of kids five or younger, or a large group of kids. To make this request clear, you can add wording on the invitations asking that the invited child come with one parent. A good time to confirm this request is

when the other parents call you to respond.

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water safety

Stay water-safe this summer Kiwis love the water: most of us grow up around the country’s lakes, rivers and oceans, and spend our summers making the most of our beautiful natural environment.

ut what can be a fun summertime amusement can quickly turn to tragedy. That’s why Water Safety New Zealand CEO Matt Claridge is urging parent to be extra vigilant this coming warm season to minimise the risk of their kids drowning. “We need New Zealanders to take the initiative and up-skill themselves when it comes to water safety. Always keep small children within arm’s reach around water, make sure your children are learning to swim, and if you’re the skipper of a boat - get yourself educated on safe boating.” Drowning statistics are actually down for the six months January – June 2014. Thirty-five people drowned in that period: a 35 per cent reduction on the five-year mid-average of 43 deaths and New Zealand’s lowest drowning toll since 1980, when records began. However, swim training for kids is also plunging.

Swim training in schools

The difference between today and 20-years ago is that most local schools used to have their own school pool, and every summer school pupils would benefit from a schoolbased swim programme. Schools that still have school pools today are battling to keep them open, but in Wellington alone, 26 out of 48 school pools have closed over the past two decades. That means, according to Claridge, that at least two out of every three schools have to travel to use a swimming pool, often with an additional cost to parents. As such, 40% of primary school pupils left school without basic confidence needed to survive in the water. That essentially puts the onus on parents to swimeducate their kids. “In an ideal world, every school would have its own pool, because the swimming pool is a classroom,” said Claridge. “We don’t have to teach 5-year-olds how to do the butterfly

stroke; we just want them learning how to float and tread water, and that way they will be safer.”

Adult supervision

Even when kids do know the swimming basics, the underlying reason behind almost all drownings of small children is a lack of adequate or appropriate supervision from parents and caregivers. The window for tragedy is small, and the time it takes for young children to get into trouble is remarkably short; a matter of seconds. Proper supervision in and around water means a responsible adult keeping young children in their care both within sight and within reach, according to Water Safety NZ. We’ve got some tips on keeping your kids safe at New Zealand’s beaches and rivers this coming season:

Beach safety

New Zealand’s beaches are admired the world over for their beauty, but they can also be dangerous and deadly. Lifeguards or lifesavers patrol many beaches in New Zealand. These beaches usually have responsible for rescues in rivers, you can easred and yellow flags that mark the safest place • If you do tire or become frightened, stay calm, raise your arm, call for help and wait ily understand why the need for river safety to swim on the beach and the area where education is vital. for assistance from lifesavers and lifeguards patrol. Swim between www.surflifesaving.org.nz. • Pick your spot carefully and check it out the flags! each time you swim there, then you can River safety Rip currents keep yourself and your friends safe. More people drown in rivers than in any Rip currents are powerful, channelled cur• The pressure of moving water is constant rents of water flowing away from shore. They other New Zealand water environment. Rivand can be powerful even if the river ers present a completely different range of can occur at any beach with breaking waves. looks slow-moving and calm. Swimmers potential dangers compared to the ocean • If you get caught in a rip, do not panic: can be pulled under the water by the curand swimming pools. When you combine paddle and swim parallel to the shore rent. Don’t underestimate the power of toward the breaking waves, which should this with the fact that, unlike surf beaches the river or overestimate your own ability. and off-shore waters, there are no agencies help you get back to the beach. Delicious filling for homemade dumplings or wontons. Great • Do not attempt to swim against the rip, as served with savoury pancakes. Homemade sushi or rice-balls. even the strongest swimmer will quickly Added to spicy beans and Nachos. Pulled pork hotdog. Rolled become tired into a crepe with smoked cheese and onion. Pulled pork Filo

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triangles served with dipping sauces. Baked potato with lashing of sour cream. Chinese style omelette filled with pulled pork. Pulled pork chilli con carne. Ultimate pork potato hash cake. Stuffed into a roll with creamy coleslaw is a classic. Wonderful soft shell tacos. Hot Asian noodle salad. Homemade pulled pork pizza. A delicious pie filler. Chinese style fried rice with pulled pork. Delicious filling for homemade dumplings or wontons. Great served with savoury pancakes. Homemade sushi or rice-balls. Added to spicy beans and Nachos. Pulled pork hotdog. Rolled into a crepe with smoked cheese and onion. Pulled pork Filo triangles served with dipping sauces. Baked potato with lashing of sour cream. Chinese style omelette filled with pulled pork. Pulled pork chilli con carne. Ultimate pork potato hash cake. Stuffed into a roll with creamy coleslaw is a classic. Wonderful soft shell tacos. Hot Asian noodle salad. Homemade pulled pork pizza. A delicious pie filler. Chinese style fried rice with pulled pork. Delicious filling for homemade dumplings or wontons. Great served with savoury pancakes. Homemade sushi or rice-balls. Added to spicy beans and Nachos. Pulled pork hotdog. Rolled into a crepe with smoked cheese and onion. Pulled pork Filo triangles served with dipping sauces. Baked potato with lashing of sour cream. Chinese style omelette filled with pulled pork. Pulled pork chilli con carne. Ultimate pork potato hash cake. Stuffed into a roll with creamy coleslaw is a classic. Wonderful soft shell tacos. Hot Asian noodle salad. Homemade pulled pork pizza. A delicious pie filler. Chinese style fried rice with pulled pork. Delicious filling for homemade dumplings or wontons. Great served with savoury pancakes. Homemade sushi or riceballs. Added to spicy beans and Nachos. Pulled pork hotdog. Rolled into a crepe with smoked cheese and onion. Pulled pork Filo triangles served with dipping sauces. Baked potato with lashing of sour cream. Chinese style omelette filled with pulled pork. Pulled pork chilli con carne. Ultimate pork potato hash cake. Stuffed into a roll with creamy coleslaw is a classic. Wonderful soft shell tacos. Hot Asian noodle salad. Homemade pulled pork pizza. A delicious pie filler. Delicious filling for homemade dumplings or wontons. Great served with savoury pancakes. Homemade sushi or rice-balls. Added to spicy beans and Nachos. Pulled pork hotdog. Rolled into a crepe with smoked cheese and onion. Pulled pork Filo triangles served with dipping sauces. Baked potato with lashing of sour cream. Chinese style omelette filled with pulled pork. Pulled porkAvailable chilli con carne. Ultimate pork potato hash cake. Stuffed all with good intoin a roll creamy coleslaw is a classic. Wonderful soft supermarkets shell tacos. Hot Asian noodle salad. Homemade pulled pork pizza. Afrom delicious pie filler. Chinese style fried rice with pulled 18th August pork. Delicious filling for homemade dumplings or wontons. Great served with savoury pancakes. Homemade sushi or riceballs. Added to spicy beans and Nachos. Pulled pork hotdog. Rolled into a crepe with smoked cheese and onion. Pulled pork Filo triangles served with dipping sauces. Baked potato with lashing of sour cream. Chinese style omelette filled with pulled pork. Pulled pork chilli con carne.

! W NE Hellers Pulled Pork. What can’t it do? For recipes and quick meal ideas check out hellers.co.nz/pulledpork

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How to talk with your kids about strangers Every parent wants to protect their child from the world’s dangers. But how do you do it without scaring them? We’ve got some tips.

ids start to really want to explore the world around them by ages four or five, when their social skills and independence blossom. This is the prime time to begin to talk with them about safety. Experts say it’s all about how you word it. You can easily frighten your child if you don’t choose your words carefully. Here are a few ideas on how you can broach the topic of stranger danger with your kids:

“Kids take things very literally, and may be confused about what constitutes a “stranger.””

You could instruct your child just to look at you, and you’ll nod or shake your head.

Instead of: If you get lost in a store, ask a trusted adult to help you find me

Perhaps a better way to word this one is, “If you get lost in a store, stay in the building and find someone with a name tag to help you.” A child who is scared at being alone in a store is unlikely to be able to make a judgement call about whom they can trust. Some will even leave the store looking for their parents. Prepare them in advance, and be very clear that if this happens, it’s going to be okay, but you want them to stay in the building and ask someone who works at the store to help them find you – someone with a name tag, preferable at a cash register.

Instead of: Don’t take sweets from a stranger

Once again, kids may be confused about what constitutes a stranger. Try saying instead, “Don’t take anything from anyone except your parents, babysitter, teacher, or friend’s mom or dad on a play date.” If you just limit it to just sweets, kids might Instead of: Don’t talk to be lured by other goodies such as soft drinks, strangers balloons or crayons. It’s safer to ask your child Rather than saying “Don’t talk to strangers,” try saying, “Check with me or your dad or bab- to check with you before accepting anything. Instead of: Don’t keep ysitter before talking to another grown-up.” Kids take things very literally, and may be secrets confused about what constitutes a “stranger.” Let your kids know instead that a surprise is Rather than create a fear of every adult that the only secret that’s okay to keep. they don’t know, ask them instead to check Some parents use the two terms interchangewith you before they strike up a conversation. ably, and that confuses kids. If you tell your

Business Directory

Family Times’ business directory is your A to Z of businesses that support Family Times. For more information, visit our online business directory at www.familytimes.co.nz. Arts and Instruction www.littletuts.co.nz www.tlc.ac .nz

Attractions www.bnz.co.nz/about-us/history/bnz-museum www.owlcatraz.co.nz www.staglands.co.nz

Baby & Toddler www.comvita.co.nz www.kimberly-clark.com www.kindercare.co.nz www.lalecheleague.org.nz www.thewoodentoybox.co.nz

Education www.ero.govt.nz www.nzca.ac.nz www.rmch.co.nz www.wellingtonplaycentre.org.nz

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Family Getaway www.interislander.co.nz www.yha.co.nz

Fashion www.futurefeet.co.nz

Food & Beverages www.hellers.co.nz www.littleindia.co.nz www.wendysicecreamcakes.co.nz

Health & Safety www.activefeetpodiatry.com www.nuztri.co.nz www.sleepdrops.co.nz

Holiday Programme www.bubbledome.co.nz

Parties www.caitscorner.co.nz www.pixiepartysupplies.co.nz www.villagebeads.co.nz

Retail www.hyundai.co.nz www.playhouses.co.nz

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child to keep a secret about Daddy’s birthday gift or Grandma’s party, you are undermining the rule that no grown-up should ever tell you to keep a secret from your mom or dad.

and last names. For more safety ideas, check out our safety section @ www.familytimes.co.nz.

Other safety tips:

1 Create a codeword, and advise your

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child’s teacher of it also. Anybody who is collecting your child from school needs to use the codeword. Teach your kids about dialling 111 in case of an emergency. Make sure your kids know their home address, phone number, and parents’ first

Win G e ek G ir l: Pictu r e Per fect “My name is Harriet Manners, and I’ll always be a geek.” It’s the hilarious third book in the GEEK GIRL series! Harriet Manners knows more facts than most. She knows that New York is the most populous city in the United States. But she knows nothing whatsoever about modelling in the Big Apple and how her family will cope with life stateside. And even more importantly, what to do when the big romantic gestures coming your way aren't from your boyfriend... We have 10 books to give away. Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz or write your name and address on the back of an envelope or postcard and send to: Geek Girl, PO Box 36 004, Christchurch, to reach us by October 11, 2014. Check out our website for more fantastic competitions.

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Family Getaways

Entertainment Bank of New Zealand Museum A unique view of New Zealand since 1861, providing insight into the way our country has evolved socially and financially.

44 Margaret Street on Main Road South (Sh57), Shannon Open daily for tours 10am~3pm

Open 9.30am to 4pm Monday-Friday. Free entry Level 1, Harbour Quays, 60 Waterloo Quay, Wellington, (opposite Railway Station) Ph: 04-474 6933 • Email: museum@bnz.co.nz

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Meet the funniest kid in fiction! “Hi there, my name is Harry Riddles and I am 10-years-old, which my mum says is too young to have problems but she is wrong. My dad just lost his job, which means we might have to move house and I need money to make my megaamazing zombie movie but there is no way I will sell my X-box.” Follow Harry’s hilarious ups and downs. We have 10 books to give away. Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz or write your name and address on the back of an envelope or postcard and send to: Shouty Kid, PO Box 36 004, Christchurch, to reach us by 11 October, 2014. Check out our website for more fantastic competitions.

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Crissi Blair lives with her family in west Auckland and spends her time reading and writing, mostly about children’s books. Crissi organised the Storylines Festival of New Zealand Children’s Writers and Illustrators for three years and publishes the useful guide New Zealand Children’s Books in Print which is updated every year. Visit www.silvertone.co.nz for more information.