Understanding Danish Culture Kathryn, Senthil & Rob giving their best advice How to understand Danish humour? How is it to have children in Denmark? And what does it actually take to get integrated into the Danish society? This time Kathryn, Senthil and Rob will give you their perspectives on Danish culture and will give you their very best advice on how to make it in Denmark.
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How do you feel about Danish humour?
do not say, that you do not joke about – it's not acceptable, and Danes are just like ‘hoho’ *laughing*. It is covered in sarcasm and for me sometimes I'm just like 'did they really just say that at the workplace?' It's because Danes are so honest I think, it is just a culture of honesty, so people just say what they feel and how they feel and humour is a part of that. They are polite, but they are politely honest. They won't be rude to you, but the humour – it's not like Americans. I think Americans are not honest about their true feelings to each other – we are very false in that way. With Americans I have actually always struggled to find out what people are actually thinking and feeling, and I've had to get used to picking up on certain body language cues to be like 'okay that joke definitely did not land, it was a bad joke', but Danes are just like very ‘ha, I thought that was funny’ – just straight to the point, it's just really honest.
Senthil: Oh, it is tough to understand. Unless they wink their eyes, you wouldn’t know it is humour. It was extremely difficult for me, especially the first year. I didn’t know, what they were making fun of. I didn’t know whether to laugh, smile or should I just keep quiet? *Laughing* It took some time for me to understand the humour. My wife still doesn't get it. She still wonders whether she should react or stay quiet.
“… it is just a culture of honesty, so people just say what they feel and how they feel and humour is a part of that.” Kathryn: I just laugh all the time. People laugh at my laughing, so I think it must be working. Sometimes I laughed, and it wasn't a joke – and I was just like 'what have I done?' The first time I started to date my husband, he showed me the Danish series "Klovn" and that was my first introduction to Danish humour. I have to say that was very very strong *laughing*. I was actually shocked that this was allowed to go on in the cinema here because in the US people would have been campaigning outside. So that was kind of my first introduction to Danish humour.
“I bike to work, which is really nice, because even in Slagelse they have urban planning to have these bike paths” Have you been rolled into the Danish biking culture? Kathryn: I bike to work, which is really nice because even in Slagelse they have urban planning to have these bike paths. It's a 4km bike ride, but we have bike paths – we do not
How is the Danish humour different compared to your home country? Kathryn: I would say Danes are definitely way more open than Americans with all kinds of humour. In America there are things that you
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have bike paths in New Jersey, so it's definitely a miracle. However, I'm the world's worst biker, actually old ladies pass me regularly. The other day when I was biking to work, a lady came with a cigarette in her hand, with one hand on just passed *zum* by me and here I am like 'trying very hard'. No, I am terrible at biking.
“Make an effort to learn the language, then you can come in everywhere. It shows potential as an employee that you want to live here.”
Senthil: I bike, typically from spring to autumn. I don't think I can bike during the winter times. I think the distance from my home to the office is around 4,5km, so the reason why I bike is that I can get to the office in 15 minutes. Furthermore, I can leave the time that I want to, and I don't have to depend on public transportation.
he doesn't even have homework yet, he doesn't even have books yet. But he is still learning a lot. The things that kids learn at this age, I mean they can pick up every single thing which they can keep on researching, and if they are really interested, they can learn a lot.
“My son is quite happy here. That is also because he gets to play a lot here compared to the schools in Singapore and in India.” How is it to have children in Denmark? Senthil: Well, my son is quite happy here. That is also because he gets to play a lot here compared to the schools in Singapore and in India. The Danish school system is entirely different from the school system in Singapore and India. Especially in India, at the age of six, you would probably be holding a few books and a lot of notebooks, lots of homework. I would also assume it is the same in Singapore, but not as extensive as in India. In Denmark
Senthil’s son.
For example, they started teaching about dinosaurs in the school that my son is enrolled in, and now he can tell me like 25 types of dinosaurs with weight and size. I mean, I don't think he could have learned that in school in India or Singapore for sure. So, kids learn a lot but in a different way. 3
What about the language?
What is your best advice to newcomers and other expats in Denmark?
Senthil: He can speak a bit of Danish. In his school, he is currently enrolled into an English group. They also have a Danish group which means that there are a lot of Danish kids and they play together, so he kind of has this Danish touch. I guess that they are also going to learn Danish two hours a week from after summer. We're also planning to put him in private tuition in the school himself for nonDanish kids, so he can learn to speak Danish. He can, of course, speak English fluently and Tamil. He will probably also learn German.
Kathryn: HYGGE!
Photo by Sarita Rajiv. Kathryn loves to sketch and actually did a “Sketch Takeover” on Expat in Denmark’s Instagram – go check it out: www.instagram.com/expatindenmark
“I am really integrated into Danish society. You have to actually drag me out of the country”
Rob: Learn the language. Make an effort to learn the language, then you can come in everywhere. It shows potential as an employee that you want to live here. I got friends that have been living here as long as I have, and they don't speak Danish. They pretty much all have a job, so it's not all bad, but they just basically hang out with foreigners. They will never have the same sort of social life like I believe that I've got here. I am really integrated into Danish society. You have to actually drag me out of the country *laughing*. There is no way that I will go back to my country – I love it here, I am totally in love with Copenhagen.
Kathryn: Wow, you should see what we learn when we are six in America, we learn English. That's it. It's just so amazing to me how in Europe and other places kids from a young age just are given that opportunity – it is amazing. I wish we put more emphasis on that in the U.S. I know a lot of Americans who have moved here, and they are trying to learn their first second language as an adult and it is Danish, and it is so hard for them. If you've already learned a second language, where you have been through the process, you know that there is a curve that comes. You start at a baby level and everything is impossible and then you get to climb bit by bit up the ladder and then there is this curve that you hit and suddenly everything clicks in your brain and it is magical.
“I feel one of the keys to my own fast integration was preparation.” 4
More during the summer than the winter obviously *all laughing*. And the opportunities I've had: I have not been unemployed for one day, and I can basically pick and choose. For me, it's going all right.
interview until I came here. I had a lot of time to prepare myself, knowing about Danish culture, knowing about practicalities, trying to get help from others in Denmark.
“When I moved here I had intense culture shock, I was not prepared for that.”
Kathryn: My best advice would be, if you are in my field particularly, that you need to network. Having a network here for the building industry is so important. And then another thing I would say is like Rob: Learn Danish. If you learn Danish quickly, if you learn Danish effectively, it not only opens your opportunities here, it also helps prove that you deserve to stay. It opens so many opportunities, suddenly you are learning more about the culture than you could have ever imagined, because there are things built into the language that are part of the culture.
I would say preparation is really key. Everything fell into place within the first couple of months for me and then I felt really settled within the first two months. I didn't have any problems at all. I could get my CPR card, bank account, find an apartment, buy furniture, fix the furniture, so everything went smooth. Then my wife and son came after one month. We also had a place in a kindergarten – sitting from Singapore with the CPR number. So, preparation is really key, if you want to get settled in the initiate months. You should also take a lot of initiative with Danes. Take initiative – it's not just in Denmark, but if you really want to be part of any community, you need to take initiative – don't wait on your own until somebody comes to you. If you really want to be integrated, you need to take initiative to be part of the group.
“… if you really want to be part of any community, you need to take initiative – don't wait on your own until somebody comes to you.” Senthil: Not necessarily networking with your own industry, but all of your own interests. I know that Danes really value volunteering themselves. That is also an opportunity where you get to meet a lot of new people there. Another advice I will also give is that I feel one of the keys to my own fast integration was preparation. Fortunately, I had some time before I moved from Singapore to Denmark. I think I had almost six months from my first
Kathryn: Yeah, I agree with that, I think preparedness is really key. However, things happen that you are not prepared for. When I moved here I had intense culture shock, I was not prepared for that. I went through that, I got over that. I think I expected Danes to be more like Americans – when I came to Denmark nobody cared about my past experiences, nobody cared about me passing 5
university, it's just who you are and what you can do. It was really hard to start from scratch with my whole network. I wasn't expecting that, so things can happen, and I was as prepared – I took a year to get prepared, so you can be as prepared as possible, and things
can just happen. You have to get used to rolling with the flow and maybe not having such a fixed plan. Suddenly, I just had to take day by day and just enjoy things in life. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the ride.
The End! Thank you, Kathryn, Senthil and Rob!
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