In fact, I think it is necessary to counteract what we’ve felt about ourselves from a very early age. I’m not talking about the pride that is “haughty” or that sees oneself as “better than.” I am talking about a self-worth that is intrinsic to a “created in God’s image” way of thinking about yourself. I am talking about the same pride with which straight people, including my parents, wear a wedding ring. Perhaps not all gay people need to wear a pride ring or a bracelet or put a bumper sticker on their car. But far from flaunting anything, I see these as symbols of healthy self-love, the kind of self-love Jesus said we absolutely must have for ourselves if we are to truly love others. Many gay folk have come from non-accepting families and all of us live in a homophobic society and many have grown up all too sadly in condemning churches. There are few places LGBT folk get a positive message of self-acceptance. Gay pride exists for the sake of counterbalance. It is a must if LGBT folk are to survive in a society where many still hate us, will not grant us civil rights, and call us by our worst traits. Our desire to enjoy the benefits and status of marriage is said to threaten the very institution of marriage. [Yet bozos like the South Carolina governor and the Nevada senator, both of whom espouse a conservative, pro-family agenda with their words but then carry on affairs, and that is somehow not perceived to be a threat to the marriage institution.] It’s that kind of world gays live in and it’s that kind of world that almost requires of us a sense of pride in who we are. We battle groups and churches that make up lies about us to scare people into giving money to subjugate us, tell families not to accept their gay children. I read a story yesterday about a small fundamentalist church in Connecticut that performed an exorcism on a 16-year-old- boy to cast a “homosexual demon” from his body. Of course, far from changing this young man’s orientation, they were in fact murdering his spirit. Chris Glaser, perhaps one of the leading spiritual writers in and for the gay community, wrote this in 2001: “The world is uncomfortable with our pride. A straight minister took me aside to tell me he had been honored by being invited to preach at an interfaith Gay & Lesbian Pride service in his hometown. He said he had no problems with the gay and lesbian part. But he had always been taught that pride is a sin! I described to him the relatively recent movement to address issues of self-esteem and self-worth among those who have been shamed emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. I explained that among those of us who are lesbian and gay, bisexual, or transgender, our “sin” may not be pride, may not be thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. Our “sin” may be a failure to value who we are, beloved children of God. And like most sin, or ways of “missing the mark,” it is a collective sin, a communal missing the mark. All of culture has conspired to tell us we are less than we are, to shame us, to deny our cultural and spiritual integrity and inheritance. Thus it’s no mistake that, to counteract this cultural and religious message, Pride festivities evolved. Pride festivities do not celebrate that we are more than we are. Pride festivities celebrate that we are no less than we are.” I too would like to imagine a day when our society was not homophobic but affirming of all orientations. A day when a young gay man is just as free to bring home, to meet mom and dad, a boy that he fancies as his straight brother is a girl that has his full attention. Then I can stop wearing a rainbow bracelet and putting a bumper sticker on my car. Or maybe then we’d all wear rainbows, straight and gay, because everyone would be welcomed and accepted and valued for who they are and what they contribute to the greater human community. When that day will come, I don’t know. But I know it will come. Until then, I’ll wear this bracelet and be proud…proud that I don’t hate myself…proud that I love myself… From Reverend Rex Piercy Congregational United Church of Christ, Arlington Heights, IL
A guide to LGBT-Inclusive religious practices
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