Exceptional People Magazine September-October 2020 by Atela Productions, Inc.

September/October 2020

Dr. Pion-Berlin Parents Anonymous: Helping Families Through Difficult Times

ďż˝ How to Validate Your "Big" Idea is Marketable

Lorna M.

Johnson Working For Healthcare, Financial Inclusion, Economic Development and Equality

ďż˝ How to Remain Motivated When Things Are at a Standstill

Founder and Publisher Editor-in-Chief Monica Davis Writers & Editors Jon Crump Marla Gem Suzanne Harris Company Writers & Contributors Donna Carletta Kathy Kentty Pat Markel Other Contributors Andrew Horton Greg Williams Jack Canfield Annemarie Cross Art and Graphics Designer Jenette Antonio Sityar Exceptional People Magazine is published bi-monthly by Atela Productions, Inc. The opinions of the contributors are not necessarily those of Atela Productions, Inc. Exceptional People Magazine is a copyright of Atela Productions, Inc. The contents of this publication may not be printed, copied or distributed without the express written consent of the Publisher. Copyright © 2020 All rights reserved.

For advertising information please contact. The advertising department at 703-273-2035. Contact us: Atela Productions, Inc., 2961-A Hunter Mill Rd., PMB 624, Oakton, VA 22124-1704 www.exceptionalmag.com

P R O D U C T I O N S , INC.

LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Friend: Welcome to the September/October 2020 issue of Exceptional People Magazine. Yes, even amid COVID-19, most of us are blessed with the gifts of life, knowledge, talent, sight, hearing, and a lot more. We’re also recipients of gifts from others such as friends and colleagues who give us ideas we didn’t have before. They may provide us with an encouraging word when we least expect it or lend a helping hand during hard times. These are all forms of gifts, and we must learn to recognize and appreciate them. It is never the size of the gift that matters, but the spirit in which it offered. Accept every gift with gratitude. It is not enough to receive and be thankful for life’s gifts, but you must pass them on to others, so they experience joy in their lives. Woven into each interview in this issue, is a compelling story of perseverance, vision, thankfulness, and the commitment to help others succeed. I encourage you to be a blessing to someone today and each day thereafter. Recognize and develop the talents you have as an individual and as a business owner and share them with others. With every good wish for great achievements,

Monica Davis

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.

CONTENTS EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

05 16

— Brian Tracy

LORNA M. JOHNSON Working For Healthcare, Financial Inclusion, Economic Development and Equality DR. LISA PION-BERLIN Parents Anonymous: Helping Families Through Difficult Times

MINDING MY BUSINESS

BOOK REVIEW Dare to Lead: True Leaders Share Themselves

Effective Strategies for Business Survival

Entrepreneur Skill Set Checklist

ey Strategies for K Building a Top-Notch Team

The Battle for Productivity: Are You Winning or Losing?

How to Validate Your "Big" Idea is Marketable

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Lorna M. Johnson

Working For Healthcare, Financial Inclusion, Economic Development and Equality

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assion, commitment, vision, purpose. These are words we all recognize and admire. But it is the culmination of these words that, when put into daily practice, brings about change — even in those who never believed change was possible.

Respected

That is the DNA of Lorna M. Johnson. She lives by example and teaches those she impacts to adopt that same mindset. Her winning attitude carried her through tough times early in life, developing a deep personal understanding of poverty, racism, and culture clashes. This, along with her genuinely selfless spirit and eternal optimism is what sets her apart from many other philanthropists. But even the word “philanthropist” seems sorely inadequate when describing Lorna Johnson. “Force of nature” might be a more apt moniker once you add international servant leader, diplomat, clinical professor, investor, inner-city healthcare facilities owner, midwife, and former track and field star. Ultimately, Johnson is a tireless global humanitarian with a long record of transforming lives across multiple continents and advancing communities through financial inclusion, healthcare services, and economic development. Through her network of care, Johnson has touched thousands of lives in East and West Africa, the Caribbean, and inner-city Los Angeles. Born and raised in Jamaica, Johnson’s life trajectory was shaped by her mother, who burned coal and sold it to support the family. From her mother, Johnson learned how to overcome challenges and to stand up for her beliefs. The young girl knew she would succeed despite 6

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

adversity, but she had no idea where her hard work would take her. An exceptionally talented athlete in school, Johnson was a track and field champion, qualifying for the Olympics in the 100 meter dash. Johnson competed against gold medalist Florence Griffith-Joyner in the 200 meter dash. She also ran with Griffith-Joyner in the world-renowned Mt. SAC Relays. The former athlete then set out to transform her winning spirit into ultra-wins for humanity, advancing her passion for athletics and healthy living into a career as a nurse midwife and health advocate. She founded (and still runs) the Advanced Family Care Medical Group, an inner-city medical clinic serving thousands of patients in East and South Central Los Angeles. She served as a committee member on President Obama’s National Health Care Advisory Committee, encouraging the use of certified nurse midwives and nurse practitioners as primary care providers. Through Compassion for Teen Life, she has impacted the lives of thousands of low-income children and their families with supportive services focused on living healthy lifestyles. Today, Johnson is deeply concerned with the consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic on frontline healthcare workers. Through the Lorna M. Johnson Global Institute, she is providing medical workers with needed supplies. She is also actively advocating for PPEs and for laws that will treat healthcare workers and emergency response

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teams like war veterans or soldiers in times of disaster. A link to the petition can be found here: https://www.lornamjohnsonglobalinstitute.com/. Johnson is also continuing the fight for equal rights issues. To motivate young women to envision and achieve their dreams, she is currently working with many exceptional and iconic women to write letters of inspiration to girls during this 100th anniversary of the Women’s Suffrage Movement. (See the request letter at the end of this interview.) At home, Johnson maintains a healthy lifestyle and enjoys riding her bike, running, and weight training. She grows her own fresh organic fruits and vegetables using the same techniques she learned from her father back in Jamaica. Johnson is clearly also her mother’s daughter, proud to tell you how her mother often told her, “Lorna, find the solution.” Lorna Johnson has clearly found many solutions already. But like her stellar early running career, she’s showing no signs of slowing down. Monica: What do you believe is your life’s purpose? Lorna: My life’s purpose is to help the underserved, and to help people avoid what I went through when I came to this country. I see myself as a servant.

I find myself busier at home than when I was traveling. I’m getting more done. I appreciate where I am in life and how to utilize what God has given me. The George Floyd lynching opened my eyes to learn more about America’s black history. I’ve delved deeper into the importance of understanding where you’re from and how you’re going to move forward. I recently presented two Virtual Town Hall meetings with the goal of uniting people: getting people from different races and cultures to come together and try to understand each other. COVID-19 has allowed me to sit, think, read more, be more open-minded – and think about what we can do to solve some of these problems. Fear can hurt countries and people, and it creates many problems across the globe. But if we learn about and understand each other, the world can be a much better and safer place. So, I’m educating myself about other cultures and different people. I’m learning more about African history, about the 100th anniversary of voting rights, and I want to teach and share the experience of what I’m learning.

Dedicated

Monica: How has COVID-19 changed your view of who you are and the impact you believe you can have on humanity?

Lorna: Before COVID-19, I was on the go all the time, traveling all over the world, trying to make a difference in people’s lives, particularly in Africa and Jamaica. COVID has kind of quieted me down and put me in a place where I had to sit back and ask, “What’s next?”

In these virtual town halls, some fascinating people have participated including Tim Shriver, one of the Kennedys whose mission is about sacrificing and Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

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serving the underserved. Eunice Kennedy Shriver started the Special Olympics in her backyard because she thought intellectually challenged people were not being given equal opportunity. The whole of Kennedy’s life was built around that. I’ve also had Karen Bass, Congress member and Chair of the Congressional Black Caucus, Representative James Clyburn, teacher and diversity trainer Jane Elliott, and Sara Sidner, an award-winning CNN investigative journalist. The impact of what I’m learning is tremendous. I think about how I can use my talents, gifts, and abundance that I’ve been given to help change the world, one person at a time. My goal is to develop a platform for candid conversations nationally and globally. Monica: COVID-19 has exposed a gap in available resources for healthcare systems and frontline workers. As a health professional, what other inefficiencies have you noticed?

Lorna: I started a change.org petition to bring attention to the fact that people on the frontlines were not getting the proper protection and gear they need. In the underserved community of East Los Angeles where I serve, where it’s predominately the lowest socioeconomic, African-American, and Hispanic community, we were never adequately funded; we’re not paid the same reimbursement as people in Beverly Hills for the same service – from the same insurance company. COVID has exposed these disparities in the inner-city, the lower socioeconomic status, and the underserved community. As a race, we are getting sicker and dying more of COVID. Our mortality rate is double everyone else’s. That’s because we’re not adequately funded, we don’t have access to healthcare, we live in food “deserts.” Black people were not able to live in Beverly Hills many years ago, where I live right now, so we were left to live in certain areas. In those areas, you don’t have the banking system. For example, my bank called and offered to help me apply for the PPEs and the PPPs that the government is giving out. But my friends in the inner-city, who are worse off than I am, were not called. They were denied.

Giving

We’ve heard of companies like Ruth’s Chris and many others getting these PPP loans, but inner-city people are not getting it. COVID-19 has exposed the inequity in people of color and the underserved community. Those are some of the things that drive me to do what I’m doing. How can we gain equity? I look at people like Maxine Waters, who is on the Financial Services Committee in Congress. She’s from our community, and she’s always been for the people. People like her are making a difference. Since the George Floyd incident, the power of the black woman is starting to gain more significance. We have Joy-Ann Reid who got 8

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

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a new position as an anchor at MSNBC – the first black woman in prime time. Now we have the first black woman vice presidential candidate. We’re hoping that we’re going to stay on this ride and not slow down until we get justice and equality. We don’t want riots. Black people just want equity.

to come in for preventive healthcare. A lot of that is lacking in the inner-city.

Lorna: Our legislators need to support removing the alcohol. In many neighborhoods, every next door is an alcohol store instead of a grocery store with fresh fruit and vegetables. You have candy, soda, and things like that. There are donut shops and the fried chicken places, but no good healthy eating restaurants.

Now that the big companies are coming in, it’s taking a long time to be seen by a provider. They are taking over from us, the smaller companies that have been servicing that area for many years. There is now money in it because of the way the healthcare system is set up. They’re pushing people like me out of those communities. We look like the people we serve and understand them, so they come to us because they feel more comfortable with us. But much of that is being eroded and taken away.

We need to change that. We have the power to do that but the people need to demand it. Our legislators need to make it right.

Monica: You provide support in local communities on a global level. Working globally, what do you find to be potential barriers to your approach?

One of the reasons I opened in the inner-city was because of the inequity that I saw working in the hospital. I wanted to bring Beverly Hills quality into the inner-city. We know that many people don’t have insurance. We’ve never turned any patients away, whether they can pay or not. I look at pathology and try to prevent disease before it starts.

Lorna: I don’t find resistance. My approach is very well received by the communities everywhere that I go. They appreciate the work I’m doing, and they’re responsive to the things that I share. But habits are difficult to change, and the financial resources limit them.

Monica: You mentioned food “deserts” — limited access to healthy and fresh foods. How can people advocate for better food so that they have the same opportunity as other communities to live a healthy lifestyle?

We do a lot of educational training on eating habits and exercise, and we encourage people

It’s cheaper and easier to buy potato chips than to buy fresh chicken. That’s what we need

Focused Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

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to teach the current generation of younger people. We have to educate the older generation not to impart bad habits and to talk to them about the importance of eating healthily. I try to lead by example. I try to work out, stay in shape, and eat healthy foods. You’re either going to eat food as medicine to be healthy, or medicine is going to become your food – and you don’t want that.

crowned the Queen Mother in Ghana where I plan to work with young girls. Last year I went to Malawi with Alice Brown, a five-time gold and silver medalist in the Olympic 100-meter, like me. We started teaching the girls to do track and field. Because of COVID-19, it is very disappointing to be here. I should be in Malawi with the girls.

Monica: You’re also focusing on young people between the ages of 6 and 22.

Monica: What words of encouragement would you like to send to doctors, nurses, and other workers who support the healthcare system during this time of COVID-19?

Lorna: That’s my target all over the world including East LA. I have kids off the street enrolled in a music band right now – they play the trumpet, trombone, piano, drums. When I have events at my house, I invite these kids to perform. I also have kids in Jamaica, and last year I was

Lorna: To my colleagues, my brothers and sisters: Do the best you can to protect yourself. If you don’t protect yourself, you’re not going to be able to protect anyone. If you’re not getting the right gear and protection that you need to give the care, don’t do it. Without the right equipment you’re

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

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going to get sick, you’re going to take it home to your family, and you’re going to lose yourself and your family. If your facility is not giving you the right protective gear, do not be afraid to speak up, and speak loud. To communities everywhere: Wear your mask. Do the basic things that provide protection so that we can reduce the number of people going to the hospital and eliminate the crowding which makes it more difficult for our frontline workers. Help them protect themselves by doing the right things. Monica: How do you keep yourself sustained? Lorna: I don’t do anything I don’t enjoy. People tell me that I do too much, but I sometimes don’t even think I’m doing enough. It’s fascinating. When you’re enjoying something, you don’t realize how hard you’re working.

When I was delivering babies, there were occasions when I was delivering up to 14 in one day. I was full-time at the hospital. There is no way I could do that today, but at the time I didn’t think I was working hard: I was having fun. As a servant of the people, I just enjoy what I do. Monica: One of your core missions is to help underserved communities become sustainable through financial inclusion. Can you describe what that looks like from your perspective? What is needed for financial inclusion of underserved communities? Lorna: Education. And the right people in office giving proper support to the community. Right now, with COVID19, we need people in Congress to get money to the innercity communities, to clinics like mine. For example, right now, all the big corporations are getting COVID-19 test kits. Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

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my mindset. My siblings and I all grew up in the same household, but we’re all different. Mindset is cultivated but it can be changed, taught, and learned. Why not provide them to those already in the communities? I would like to teach young people how to be financially savvy. It starts with the young kids. We’ve got to teach them the right way and the right time. Learn to save, buy what you need but don’t be jealous because somebody has something better or prettier. Develop self-confidence about who you are and where you want to be, so that you can get there without compromise, but sacrificing in the right way.

Compassionate

Monica: What needs to happen to get essential banking services to low-income families and financial growth for their communities? Lorna: Require banks to cash checks and allow people to have small account balances. Checkcashing stores charge a fee and take a small percent of your money. The poor always have to pay more. Financial inclusion is all about education. Teach people to put $5.00 or $10.00 every week into that account. Banks should not charge for a low account balance or to cash a check. Monica: Does mindset play a role in financial stability? Lorna: Absolutely. I am my mother’s daughter. I watched my mother and I’m a product of her. That’s

Monica: Your vision is also to advance economic development in underserved communities around the world, not just in America. When you think of economic development, you talk about literacy, race, healthcare, quality of housing, social entrepreneurship, and wealth building. What are your approaches to this type of economic development? Lorna: Everything goes back to education. I sponsor 30 girls in Malawi who I’m educating right now. There are other little things you can do. For example, when I was working on a community fundraiser, I asked some of the kids there, “Who is interested in raising money?” A few kids raised their hands. I had $100.00 in my purse, and I told them to think of it “just like the $100.00 I had when I arrived in this country.” I gave them $20.00 each and told them I wanted to see who would make the most out of that $20.00. I do the same thing with my nephews. I give them money, and see what they do with it. A year later, were they able to multiply it, or did they waste it? There are games that you can play with kids by giving them money and seeing how they handle it, teaching them how they can learn to save. I may invest in gold for their education so they can look at it later and see how much it’s worth after five or ten years. In Jamaica we used to save money like this: Twelve kids would each give 25 cents to one person, and then the next week another person gets it, and that person provides the same 25 cents. We would do that for 12 weeks. Doing this, people used to raise enough money to buy a home or a car. You can make it fun for kids to learn financial literacy. Monica: Do you implement a certain approach in one community to see whether it works, and then use it as a model for other communities?

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

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The impact I want to have is changing lives; helping others understand the importance of giving and sharing, and the impact that they can have on other people’s lives. Lorna: Yes, exactly. We are doing something in one city in Malawi right now, and it seems to be working out very nicely. A young woman was given money for education, but instead of paying the money back, she was asked to build something in her community. In other words, we’re teaching people to fish, not just giving them fish. She started a program, and now we’re supporting it to help all of her community. She’s doing a fantastic job. If something works, we take it to another community, and the people there can spread into other surrounding communities. The results are what stimulate us and motivate us to do more.

Lorna: Amazing. These kids are so poor, yet so happy to see you; they sing songs and dance for you when you walk in. You give them one pencil and they are so appreciative. They sing songs like “You will never be forgotten,” and make you feel so good. They make you want to give them everything you have because they are so appreciative and bright. They learn fast; they’re hungry for knowledge. They’re hungry for everything.

How can I use my pulpit, my notoriety, my exposure – this platform that God has blessed me with — for the betterment of the world? Monica: You have discovered your gift. Lorna: I think that’s it. My place on Earth is about giving. It feels good to serve others. That’s why I keep doing it. Monica: If you had to sum it up in one paragraph, what is the most significant impact you hope to have on humanity? Lorna: The impact I want to have is changing lives; helping others understand the importance of giving and sharing, and the impact that they can have on other people’s lives. Being a servant is one of the most rewarding experiences in life.

Lorna M. Johnson crowned Queen Mother, Twifo Ghana – 2019 Year of the Returns

Visionary

Monica: You were crowned Ghana’s Development Queen during their year of return on December 29. What impact has that experience had on you?

Everything that I do to make money is about how I can get some of this money to give it to my kids.

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

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and utopian, or maybe it’s the afterlife that I’m talking about. But that’s what I strive for in this life. Monica: Is there anything specific you want to mention? Monica: What kind of change do you want to see in this country moving forward? Lorna: People being united, learning to love each other, understanding each other, and understanding that we’re all one race — the human race. I know it’s not going to happen overnight, but it can start today. I want to be able to impart knowledge. With my town hall events, I’m seeking to help people unite and learn about themselves and each other, and realize that we are all human. Regardless of the color of our skin, all we should want in this life is happiness and justice and peace for all. Can people do that? I don’t know. We’ve just got to believe that it can happen. Maybe it’s unrealistic

Lorna: The power of the Woman’s Movement. We’re in the 100th anniversary of the Suffrage Movement; the right to vote. Our foremothers endured much for this right, and I know that I’m standing on the shoulders of many of them. I want people like Harriet Tubman, and others who have gone before us, to be recognized for their work over the centuries. That’s another goal of mine — to get Harriet Tubman on the $20.00 bill. President Trump decided to put it on hold until after he leaves office. I want to see if we can reignite that energy and make sure that women worldwide get recognized for the work they have done. Monica: Would you mind closing the interview with your last word? Lorna: I’ll leave you with quotes from three amazing women who have inspired me. If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.

Determined

― Shirley Chisholm Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it. ― Maya Angelou When you are a 10 gallon person dealing with pint size people...it doesn’t fill you up. ― Oprah Winfrey

We may look a little different but we’re all part of the same family. The human family. Always be kind to each other. 

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Dear Phenomenal Sister: One hundred years ago, Congress passed the 19th Amendment to guarantee and protect women’s constitutional rights to vote. In exploring the relevance of equal rights issues today, we must continue the fight - as it is long and arduous. We also must teach and mentor young girls to participate in the process. I write to you asking that you write a letter to an impressionable young girl in this spirit. Our goal is to have 100 successful and prominent women write an inspirational note to young women to inspire them to dream big, be true to themselves, and discover their purpose and fulfill it. As one of the chosen few selected to write this letter, we want to make it simple such that you provide three things: 1. What political, entertainment or cultural icon from past generations inspired you and why? 2. How has this person or their work impacted your life today? 3. Share an aspirational message or direction that one girl can use to triumph in any situation. a. If possible, voice record your aspirational message. That’s it! Of course, we welcome any other writing you choose, including your perspective on the 19th Amendment and what it means for young women today. Though we do not have the name of the specific young girl you will be writing to, she will be between 9 and 20 years old and from a disadvantaged community. A letter and voice message from you will be a powerful inspiration. In accepting this invitation, you will send your letter in as soon as possible, and no later than December 15, 2020. Each month we will highlight some of the girls, and the women who wrote to them, on a Virtual Girl Tribe: Letters To Our Girls. We welcome you to participate in the broadcast and will send information should you be interested. Please send your letters to: lorna@lmjglobalinstitute.com. Thank you in advance for inspiring young women across the globe. Sincerely,

Lorna M. Johnson Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

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PARENTS ANONYMOUS: Helping Families Through Difficult Times

Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin

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here’s no doubt about it: Times are stressful.

Between the worldwide outrage sparked by George Floyd’s cold-blooded murder, the unprecedented daily restrictions due to COVID-19, and a presidential election destined for the history books, maintaining inner and familial peace has become difficult, to say the least. During lockdown, many children, youth, and parents are suffering. Living together in close quarters for months on end, tempers can flare. Anger can grow. Mistakes can happen. The pain and shame of abuse can become a vicious cycle. Even in peaceful households during less stressful times, agonizing questions and problems can crop up for any family. Why is my toddler so clingy? How do I get my tween away from social media? Why won’t my son talk to me? When will my daughter stop taking drugs? Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin has been helping parents and families with these and many other issues for years. For the past thirty years, “Dr. Lisa” has served as President and Chief Executive Officer of Parents Anonymous®, working tirelessly to improve systems to better meet the needs of families under stress. Parents Anonymous’ international network has been providing weekly support groups for parents and caregivers, children and youth since 1969. Proven to reduce risk, increase protective factors and prevent child maltreatment, PA’s stated

mission is to “ensure better outcomes for families and communities through Parents Anonymous® groups, the National Parent Helpline®, the California Parent & Youth Helpline, Shared Leadership® in Action, and national certification of parent Leaders and staff.” Put more simply, in the words of one parent: “Knowing that you’re not a bad parent can set you free. My first meeting at Parents Anonymous® replaced hopelessness with hope. My second meeting replaced helplessness with new ideas.” Through training, technical assistance, and published research, Parents Anonymous has a proven record of strengthening families worldwide. Pion-Berlin was raised with the family slogan: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going!” Her father, who fled from Nazi Europe as a teen, made sure she understood the truths of hardship. He also gave her unconditional love and support and instilled in her a passion for helping others. This passion led her to earn a BS in Psychology from Georgetown University, an MSW and an MPA from University of Denver, and a Ph.D. in Social Work from Ohio State University. She joined Parents Anonymous® Inc. in 1992. One of her proudest achievement is having launched the first and only National Parent Helpline open 12 hours daily to provide emotional support and referrals for families (1-855-4APARENT). She also created the only National Certification for Parent Leaders to help ensure safe and strong families and communities.

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

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kid pushes every button. She's got these issues. I have this history. Help me." She went to see a social worker to go through traditional therapy, but after a while she said, "This isn't helping." She came up with the idea to start a weekly support group for parents, grandparents – anybody in the caregiver role — to allow people to build a sense of community, belonging, and trust, and to break down barriers of racism, prejudice, and all the blame and shame that parents feel when they don't respond well to their kids. They started a group around her kitchen table, and then they decided to start Parents Anonymous shortly after. It was the first and only family-strengthening organization in the U.S. Dr. Pion-Berlin has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, ABC Nightly News, New York Times, Washington Post, and LA Times. An experienced clinician and Clinical Hypnotherapist, she clearly believes in PA’s slogan: Asking for Help is a Sign of Strength. We recently spoke with Dr. Lisa. We hope you’re as inspired by her as we were. Monica: What is the guiding principle behind Parents Anonymous? Dr. Pion-Berlin: Our vision is about a just society where everyone thrives in resilient families and communities. Parents Anonymous was started 51 years ago by a mom who was struggling. Child welfare came knocking, put her child in foster care, and then said, "You get her back." Nobody helped her so she took it upon herself to walk into a mental health clinic in Los Angeles County. She said, "I need help. I react to this kid. I overreact to this kid. This

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

A few years later, in 1969, U.S. Senator Walter Mondale and Representative Pat Schroeder wanted to write a child abuse prevention and treatment act. They came to the Parents Anonymous Group and asked them to testify in Congress. Parents Anonymous is the gift that keeps on giving. People come who are struggling, and the ethos is all about mutual support, the giving and getting of help. People want to help other people. They go out into the community, they improve neighborhoods, the schools, the health care system. They go to court, become advocates, and work with police departments. I went into social work to help people. I'm a PHC social worker and I'm an ACSW. I'm not here to judge or blame people. I'm here to help people on their empowerment journey. That's the entire philosophy of Parents Anonymous. Monica: The organization tries to assist with any issues that a family or parent is having. So, it's more of a holistic view?

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Dr. Pion-Berlin: Exactly, and age, role, and family structure don’t matter. We have grandparents, adoptive parents, foster parents. All those people are welcome. We don't have any limits on who can come to Parents Anonymous. We have a complete children and youth group. Now they come online and then their children and youth are put into children and youth groups that are separated by developmental ages. Monica: Does offering your services online help you reach more people?

advocates who are bilingual. If people call and they speak Russian, we have language services so we can speak to them in Russian. They can chat with us. They can text us. It's the same number. We are very nimble in terms of responding to people now. Monica: How is the organization funded? Dr. Pion-Berlin: We have some county money. We have very little foundation money. We are trying to get major

Dr. Pion-Berlin: Yes, and we run a parent helpline. In California it's called the California Parent & Youth Helpline. It was launched in the middle of April after the COVID crisis occurred. We approached the governor's office and said there needs to be a first responders system for parents who are now at home with all their children. We had shelter-in-place orders like many other states did by March 19. Parents were not only dealing with homework but with every behavior issue. A lot of different pressures came bearing down on families and the government said, "We're going to do a special initiative with Parent Anonymous because we have had the National Parent Helpline since 1974. So, we've drilled down for Californians but we are very much interested in whether DC, New York, Montana, or other states want to do the same. We provide emotional support 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. People need to vent. They need to look at solutions. They feel alone — like they’re the only one struggling with this issue. Youth can call us too. It's a family strengthening program. We talk in any language, even sign language. We have live helpline

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

partners like the Gates Foundation, Robert Wood Johnson, and Ford Foundation. It is very important that there is a message out there that we're here to support you in whatever's going on. We can take emergency calls of any kind. Everybody is trained and registered. Monica: Will going online lessen the impact of your services? Dr. Pion-Berlin: We're starting a research study on online Parents Anonymous. The many studies of face-to-face Parents Anonymous have found that when people are in a crisis situation or they're feeling they need help now, they attend very frequently. National research has shown that people improve and risk factors go down even in the first 30 days of attending Parents Anonymous. So far, in our own surveys we see no difference. But we are going to dig down deep to study that with the National Council on Crime & Delinquency on the evaluators we've hired. This is from our own internal data. The parents are very happy. They're happy about the convenience. That's a silver lining. They're happy about

the access because many feel very isolated right now with COVID. We're getting all kinds of calls asking, “Should I even venture out? What do the surging numbers mean for me?” For example, in California, Spectrum said they would give low income parents free internet. But how do you get free internet? They have to come to your house. Parents said, "We don't want any stranger coming into our house. I have four children at home. I don't know where this person has been. I don't feel safe." So now the state has said they're going to make hot spots which means nobody has to come to your house. People need to realize that low income people do not have internet. You can give them a tablet from school, but have you considered how many people in Appalachia have very poor internet service, or they can't afford it? Many people have to choose between diapers, food, or the internet. To be in a Parents Anonymous Group you need internet access because you have to use a camera so everybody can see each other. In some areas we're calling people regularly to stay in touch because they do not have internet. We're following up with people. We call people who have been in the live group before but who are now isolated without internet. Monica: You've also made it a key focus to find positive ways to deal with the civil unrest that is taking place in America. What does Parents Anonymous intend to do to try to help alleviate some of this pain? Dr. Pion-Berlin: Parents in the online group and on the helplines talk about their feelings. The group is a trusting place where people can express their rage, their fear, their

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Asking for help is a sign of strength. We celebrate people who reach out and ask for help. Continue to reach out until you get the help you need. You deserve it. And this will build your personal resilience, your family's resilience, and your community’s resilience forever.

anxiousness. We’ve had antiracist institutions in this country forever. It is not new to talk about the courts, the police, the educational system, the healthcare system, the social service system, the color of your skin, your lifestyle, and other things. Prejudice is rampant. Parents Anonymous has never run from this issue and encourages parents to talk about it in group. You need to deal with your own feelings about this issue first -- anger, disappointment, and fear. I can't imagine any parent who is black or brown who doesn’t worry every time their child walks out the door.

I've experienced prejudice as a woman. I've experienced prejudice as a Jew. But it’s not the same. When a policeman drives by me, am I likely to be stopped? Absolutely not. The darker your skin, the more likely you'll be suspected. Whether people have a beat-up car or really nice car, they get stopped based on these prejudices. Parents Anonymous is trying to address what people are feeling so they can get support from other parenting groups. The helpline advocates about how to talk about this with your child. But the first thing we always say is that you need to figure out what you're really feeling, and you need to find a healthy way to release that. Monica: From an emotional, mental, and even physical standpoint, how does racism impact the lives of those who experience it directly? Dr. Pion-Berlin: Incredible toxic stress. It is actually reshaping their DNA. On a biological level we talk about the toxic stress response in the brain of people who live in constant fear. Its like living in a war zone when you're afraid how people are going to respond to you. I could talk differently to people. I can keep my head down. I can walk differently. But I can't wash off the color of my skin. What I can change in my behavior may or may not change somebody's response to me. That's very frightening. Fear is the most powerful deep-seated feeling that people run from. They don't want to talk about fear or sadness. When you dig down deep – and we do these techniques in Parents Anonymous – it's about releasing those feelings. Monica: How can parents talk to their sons and daughters about what to do and how to present themselves when they leave home? Dr. Pion-Berlin: The first thing we talk about is that you can control your behavior even if you can’t control others. We teach people to use their eyes. You need to scan that

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

I've seen people pick themselves up after getting knocked down. Whether it's racism, poverty, an educational opportunity, a bad relationship, they get knocked down in life. But it's not just about getting up and brushing yourself off because you can get up and be frozen in time and not know where to go. How you move forward comes from the groups, from the helplines, and from people feeling listened to and not judged. This is why what we do is social justice and relates so much to racism. Prejudice and racism is all about prejudging. Monica: Would you mind closing the interview with your last word?

entire situation and make a choice, based on what time of day it is, where you're going, and who you're going with. Don't go into a situation where you don't know what's going to happen. Even if you're going with some friends to a place where you think you know what's going to happen, you still need to be very aware. Not in a frightened way, but in a heightened way that you're not going to ignore. You need to protect yourself. Monica: What do you love most about being the president and CEO of Parents Anonymous? Dr. Pion-Berlin: The parents are extraordinary people. They’re the only reason I’ve done this for almost 30 years. What inspires me is the resilience and the strength of these parents, children, and youth. That if people feel supported and not judged or blamed, they can soar from wherever they are, no matter what the circumstances.

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Dr. Pion-Berlin: We have a slogan in Parents Anonymous: Asking for help is a sign of strength. We celebrate people who reach out and ask for help. Continue to reach out until you get the help you need. You deserve it. And this will build your personal resilience, your family's resilience, and your community’s resilience forever. Monica: How can people connect with Parents Anonymous? Dr. Pion-Berlin: They can call 855-4A-PARENT, which is 855-427-2736. This helpline is open 12 hours a day, Monday through Sunday. You can also text us at that number. You can go to our website: caparentyouthhelpline.org and do live chat if you live in California, or if you're concerned about a parent, child, or youth in California. You can also go to the nationalparenthelpline.org website where there are many resources. If you live in California you can email us if you're interested in joining an online weekly support group for you and your kids. 

MINDING MY

BUSINESS

Many experts agree that referrals cost much less to convert. They are more likely to purchase and become loyal customers, which in turn can lead to more referrals. Referrals are an important element in the marketing equation you can't afford to ignore. It is a cost effective source for new leads and usually, new customers.

MINDING MY BUSINESS

Book Review

Dare to Lead: True Leaders Share Themselves In her book, "Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts," best-selling author Brené Brown declares that leadership is not about the person's title, status, and power. Instead, it's about people who hold themselves accountable for sensing the potential in people and ideas, then cultivating the potential in both. Over seven years, Brown interviewed large and small leaders from small entrepreneurial startups to family-owned businesses to Fortune 500 CEOs and other corporate suite executives. How she asked, are brave, daring leaders produced today? Her takeaways are somewhat of a departure from traditional perceptions of leadership. Brown learned that daring leaders are very much aware of themselves because they know people. Instead of forcefully managing interpersonal relationships, she writes that the resourceful leader operates from the heart without feeling threatened by his or her imperfections. They're prepared to be vulnerable themselves. Brave leaders are empathetic. They accept the other person's perspective with understanding. They don't pretend to have all the answers. They are curious. They ask incisive questions, and they listen carefully. They understand their power works best when shared with others, when it creates mutual trust, and when it's used to produce progress and accountability. According to Brown, choosing courage over comfort is not easy, she writes, but for the daring leader, it's worth the effort. This book is well worth the read, not only for aspiring executive leaders but also for those in subordinate workplace leadership positions. Publisher: Random House Pages: 298

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES FOR

Business Survival BY DONNA CARLETTA

MINDING MY BUSINESS

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: DON’T GIVE UP Running a small business isn’t easy, even during the best of times. According to the United States Small Business Association: • 30% of small businesses fail within two years • 50% fail within five years • Only 25% of companies last 15 years or longer Any small business owner will tell you that running a small business is challenging. You have to manage numerous tasks, ensuring that you stay on top of cash flow, employee performance, sales, marketing, and many other factors. Many owners struggle to manage all the different crucial elements, and as a result, their business struggles. When circumstances get tough, running a business becomes an even more significant challenge. Throughout the years, many events have occurred that placed a squeeze on businesses: • The Great Depression • World War I and World War II • The Cold War • The 2008 housing market collapse • The 2020 coronavirus pandemic

STRATEGY #1 �� MANAGE YOUR MINDSET If your business is struggling, it’s essential to manage your mindset. When things get tough, it’s easy to enter a downward mental spiral. You start thinking about all the circumstances that brought you to where you are. You second guess yourself, wondering whether you would be in a better place if you acted differently. You begin to doubt your abilities and whether you can ever succeed. The more you engage in these thoughts, the worse you’ll feel. As you try to stabilize and turn your business around, it’s crucial to maintain a positive mindset. To be clear, this doesn’t mean that you pretend everything is okay or bury your head in the sand. It means that you maintain faith in your ability to bring about positive outcomes. A positive mindset also means that you are determined not to give up. Keep striving to improve things and bring your business to a place of health.

During these difficult times, many small businesses folded under pressure. They weren’t able to keep going. However, many businesses have survived these incredibly challenging circumstances. Some of them have even thrived. They adapted to the current situation and developed creative ways to save their businesses: You, too, can make it through hard times, but being creative is critical. You’ll have to take decisive action and make tough decisions. As long as you have hope, you have a chance to succeed. Here are a couple of strategies to get you on the right track to help your business thrive during difficult times. Doing these things won’t make things “easier,” but they could be the difference between your business surviving or closing its doors. There are multiple strategies, but I’ll mention a couple of them.

If you’re struggling to maintain a positive mindset, remember that almost every great business leader has endured struggles similar to yours: 1. Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he was able to develop a fully functioning lightbulb. 2. Apple almost collapsed under bankruptcy when Steve Jobs was president. 3. Bill Gates’ first business was a total failure. 4. Henry Ford’s first automobile business went bankrupt within a year. Despite all these difficulties, these individuals experienced great success. Why? Because they persevered and were incredibly resilient. Steve Jobs said: “I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance. It is so hard, and you pour so much Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

MINDING MY BUSINESS

of your life into this thing, there are such rough moments in time that most people give up. And I don’t blame them; it’s really tough.” If you want your business to succeed, you need mental toughness. You must persevere in the face of difficulty and keep going even when things look bleak. Follow these steps to overcome a negative mindset: Pay attention. It’s easy to let negative thoughts swirl in your mind without putting up a fight. If you’re going to overcome these thoughts, you must be aware of what you’re thinking. You need to be able to identify unhelpful mental patterns as they occur. 1. Question. As negative thoughts arise, question them. Is what you’re thinking really true? Most likely, it isn’t. Mentally push back. 2. Silence. After you’ve questioned and answered your negative thoughts, begin to silence them. Avoid letting

STRATEGY #2 �� CLARIFY THE PROBLEM Before you can identify a solution, it’s essential first to clarify the problem. Why is your business struggling in the first place? If you don’t have clarity on the specific challenge you’re facing, you won’t know what steps to take to save your business. Take some time to think about how you got to where you currently are. What happened that you didn’t anticipate? What things went wrong? Some common problems businesses face are: Market changes. Economic factors, new technology, emerging competition, and many other things can change the market. Survival requires the ability to adapt to changes as they happen. Failure to understand the target customer or market. If people aren’t interested in your product or service, there’s a good chance you don’t understand your customers or market. Dig deep to understand what people truly want and what motivates them to buy. Poor pricing strategy. If your prices don’t match the customer demand, you won’t sell much. It’s crucial to

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

the same thoughts steal your mental energy. You know they’re not true, so shut them down at the start. 3. Imagine that you have a remote and can mute your inner critic with the touch of a button. 4. Replace. As you shut down your inner critic, fill the silence with positive, helpful dialogue. Regularly remind yourself that you are strong, are able to overcome challenges, and are growing in the midst of difficulty. As you push through problems and challenges, remember why you got into business in the first place. What big problem were you passionate about solving? What motivated you to take the risk of starting a business instead of playing it safe and taking a corporate job? Seek to tap into the emotions and desires that initially pushed you to create your business. They can be the driving force that helps you make tough decisions and get things back on track.

understand what customers are willing to pay and where your product sits concerning your competitors. Insufficient funds. Not having enough money on hand will quickly tank your business. You must pay close attention to cash flow, financing, sales, and more. Too much growth. Growth is a good thing except when there’s too much of it. If your business grows too fast, you might not be able to keep up with demand. Identifying fundamental problems within your business can be a painful exercise. No one likes to be reminded of the ways they’ve failed. But if you want your business to thrive during challenging times, you must be able to put your finger on the primary problems. If you’re feeling sick and go to the doctor, what’s the first thing they try to do? Determine what is causing the illness. Only then can the doctor prescribe the proper treatment. If the doctor has you start taking random medications in the hope that one will work, you likely won’t get any better. The same principle is true in business. You must identify the cause of the problems before you can determine the proper solution. The sooner you identify the issues, the better. 

ENTREPRENEUR SKILL SET

CHECKLIS T

MINDING MY BUSINESS

Do you have the skills needed to succeed as an entrepreneur? Use the list below to reflect on your existing skillset and explore ways to sharpen your skills. T IME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. I use my time wisely and avoid wasting time unnecessarily. I know what matters. D ELEGATION SKILLS. I know whom I can trust to complete a task. I can relinquish control of minor items, so I can concentrate on the things that matter the most. S ALES SKILLS. I know my products and services. I can explain the benefits of these to my potential customers. I have excellent persuasive skills that I know how to use to influence my customers and employees. C OMMUNICATION SKILLS. I can clearly present my ideas and vision. I know how to speak and listen effectively. F OCUS. I can maintain my attention on what needs my attention. I am able to deal with the distractions in my environment. STAMINA. I have the energy and endurance necessary to be successful. I can persevere physically and emotionally to get the job done. T ROUBLESHOOT AND OVERCOME OBSTACLES. I know how to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it. I can stay calm under pressure and find solutions. T HE ABILITY TO LOOK AHEAD. I can see the future of my marketplace and the potential obstacles my business faces. D AILY IMPROVEMENT. I review each day so that I can be even more productive tomorrow. I avoid repeating my mistakes and expect the same from my employees. We’re all getting better each day. H IRING. My new employees fit my company vision and culture. I hire reliable people that can get along with others. F INANCIAL MANAGEMENT. I watch my money closely. I use company funds to grow my company, and I avoid spending money unnecessarily. N ETWORKING. I reach out to others in my field and stay aware of the latest developments. How did you do? Make a plan to develop your weaker skills, and you’ll help your company shine and succeed where others fall short. 

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Key Strategies

FOR BUILDING A TOP-NOTCH TEAM BY JON CRUMP

MINDING MY BUSINESS

eading a team is hard work! Many variables can make the role of team leader an incredible challenge.

It’s easy to get discouraged when you see that your team isn’t displaying the skills and strengths you thought. You’ll probably even spend some time wondering if you picked the right people. However, before you make any drastic decisions, you owe it to yourself and your team to assess your role’s effectiveness. Are you the best team leader you can be? Perhaps a new approach could drastically change your team’s results! A critical concept that many team leaders miss is that you have to be ready to be the team! You have to be willing to be the example you want your team to follow. There’s no doubt you know what you want from the team members – now it’s time to show them. Signals That Team Members Look For

3. Loyalty. Whether the team you’re leading is a football team, company department, or an entire organization, your team will rely on you to show how loyal you are to the cause. • If you’re not in agreement with every policy that’s in place, it’s essential to avoid expressing your disagreement in the presence of your workforce. • Keep leadership discussions among leaders. • Maintain a positive outlook on the organization, even if you’re not necessarily happy with your circumstances. 4. Recognition of contribution. There’s nothing team members like better than being recognized for their contribution to the team’s success. Giving your team members sincere compliments by saying things like “Good work” or “You did it” will show them that you genuinely value their efforts.

Anybody who isn’t at the top of a team always looks for guidance from above. There’s an unspoken expectation that you can and will guide employees in the right direction.

• When they see that they are valued, your team members will step up their efforts to do an excellent job.

Display these concepts to lead your team to the top:

• By making each member feel important, you’ll have everyone on the team performing at a higher level, resulting in greater success for your team.

1. Willingness to involve them. The first thing your workforce looks for is how inclined you are to include them in matters related to the operation of the business. • Team members like to know that their input is appreciated. It encourages them to embrace the idea of being part of the team. 2. Abide by your rules. Another signal that team members pay keen attention to is whether you dish out directives but follow your own agenda regarding compliance with regulations. • If you want and expect compliance in specific areas from the team, you must be prepared to comply as well.

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

5. Value their point of view. One of the best ways to get the kind of results you want from your team is to get down to their level. Have consideration for their perspective and the things that make them tick. • The sooner you embrace their viewpoint and show that it’s a welcome part of the organization, the sooner you’ll be able to build a productive workforce. Use these strategies to inspire your team. They’ll be motivated to work harder to garner the success and accolades you seek as a top-notch team. 

The Battle for Productivity

Are You

Winning or Losing? Losing BY JON CRUMP

MINDING MY BUSINESS

roductivity encourages a real sense of purpose. It offers a deep feeling of accomplishment that’s important to a happy and fulfilled life.

Being productive also gives you the freedom to spend more time with the ones you love and less time worrying about the things that are left unfinished. If you’re looking for that sense of purpose and happiness that can come from being productive, this eBook can help you focus on the things that will get you there. Productivity isn’t always natural. There are so many things that can cause your productivity to falter and even come to a complete stop. As an entrepreneur, you’re constantly battling a thousand distractions that can block creativity and derail a productive morning, afternoon, or evening. These distractions may stem from your personal life, or they may be work-related. All-day long, you’re receiving: � Notifications � Texts � Slack messages � Emails � Social media pings � Calls � And a whole lot more! Just as you start getting to essential matters, your phone dings, and it’s a new message that you feel you should probably check. You look at your phone and, the next thing you know, 45 minutes have passed. You’ve been sucked into the black hole of social media. And even if you’re able to set aside distractions, you may still feel like you’re not accomplishing anything. You’re busy, but you’re not productive. You’re getting things done, but you’re not getting the right things done. You answer many emails, reply to many texts, and message a lot of people but still come away each day feeling like you didn’t accomplish what you wanted to. 34

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Have you ever felt like you were working hard, but getting nowhere? You go to bed exhausted, wake up exhausted, but you don’t feel like you have anything to show for it. You know there has to be a better way, but you just don’t know where to start. I’m going to share a key pillar of productivity with you to help you achieve the sense of accomplishment that you’re striving for. SYSTEMS OVER GOALS You’ve probably been told that to be productive; you should set goals. Big goals. S.M.A.R.T. goals. Stretch goals. The thinking goes that to achieve anything meaningful, you need to turn it into a goal. Well, maybe. While goals can be beneficial, they aren’t always ideal. THE PROBLEM WITH GOALS Goals have one big problem: they have a termination point. In other words, you’re not successful until you’ve reached your goal, and until you’ve reached the goal you might feel like: � You’re spinning your wheels, not going anywhere. � You’re a failure. � You haven’t achieved anything since the goal seems distant. Measuring success this way can make you feel defeated, especially if you have big, ambitious goals. For example, if you want to own a Fortune 500 hundred company, nothing you do until you reach that goal will make you feel like you’re succeeding. You may be making incredible strides in your business, but they will fall flat compared to your hard-to-achieve goal. Since goals have an “end,” you never feel like a success until you’ve achieved them. And even when you achieve your goal, you simply have to start all over again with the next one.

MINDING MY BUSINESS

And the reality is, you might not even know what the “next” goal should be. So, you feel aimless. You know you should be seeking to accomplish something, but you’re not sure what that something should be. Even worse, you might feel that since you already accomplished your goal, you can go back to your old habits instead of pushing and growing. You lose all the forward progress that you made. It’s a setup to make you feel like a consistent failure. Let’s talk about the benefits of having systems in place. THE POWER OF SYSTEMS There is a better way to be productive. They’re called systems. Systems allow you to: � Make progress on your goals every single day

S L A

However, if you have no system in place, your home will quickly go into disarray shortly after that. After a few days, the dishes will overwhelm the sink, the laundry will pile up, and the floors will be a mess. A system, on the other hand, would be a cleaning routine. Instead of cleaning the entire house in one day, you train yourself to do small tasks each day. The result is a house that’s tidy for more than a few hours. Here’s a business example: � Goal: Generate $50,000 in revenue over the next two months. � System: Every morning, you make three cold calls (or however many is necessary) to potential new customers.

� Guarantee your success

The system ensures that you achieve the result.

� Help you reach your milestones

Using a system doesn’t mean that you have no goals. It just means that you start to focus more on the process than the final destination.

� Avoid the feeling that you’re just spinning your wheels WHAT ARE SYSTEMS? Scott Adams, whom you may know as the author of the famous Dilbert cartoons, wrote about systems in his book, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life. He explained the difference between systems and goals like this: “Losing ten pounds may be a goal, while the system is learning to eat right.” Here’s another example. Suppose your goal is to clean the house from top to bottom. You’ve spent the whole day cleaning, and you momentarily feel satisfied with what you’ve done.

SO, WHAT’S WRONG WITH GOALS? You’ve probably been told your whole life to set lofty goals and work hard to achieve them. On its face, there’s nothing wrong with having goals. Goals can inspire, motivate, and challenge us. They give us something to look forward to and a reason to continue striving. But goals can also be rigid and unmoving. Let’s imagine you’ve set a firm goal for your company. You would like to make X amount of sales by a specific Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

MINDING MY BUSINESS

date, and you hustle to make those sales. You push your employees to do the same. You may make many sales. But what happens when you don’t reach your goal amount? Chances are, you’ll feel like a failure. All the sales that you did make won’t bring you joy because you didn’t sell enough. You’ll feel unproductive, and you may even want to quit. What’s unfortunate about this scenario is that you may have missed many opportunities along the way.

In his book, Atomic Habits, he explains: “When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.”

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU REACH YOUR GOAL?

So, what’s the bottom line?

You may also realize that you have nothing else to work towards once you’ve achieved a specific goal.

Being overly focused on a distant goal can easily give you tunnel vision.

For example, let’s suppose you set a personal goal to run a marathon.

Your determination to complete a singular goal may have kept you from developing a new product that could be sold for twice as much.

To achieve your goal:

Scott Adams writes:

� You cut things out of your diet even though you didn’t want to.

“...if you focus on one particular goal, your odds of achieving it are better than if you have no goal. But you also miss out on opportunities that might have been far better than your goal. With a system, you are less likely to miss one opportunity because you were too focused on another. With a system, you are always scanning for any opportunity.”

GOALS LIMIT YOUR THRESHOLD FOR HAPPINESS The big issue with goals is that you’re so narrowed in on a future time that you aren’t happy until you hit that mark. Once you reach a goal: � The feeling of happiness will likely fade quickly. � You’ll then feel the need to achieve the next goal and the next. � You’re continually chasing something that is, at its best, fleeting. Productivity expert James Clear has also written extensively about systems versus goals. 36

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

� You forced yourself to go to the gym four times a week. � You went running even though you didn’t feel like it.

You worked hard, but you didn’t enjoy the process that got you there. Once you met your goal, you couldn’t stand the thought of going back to that regimented schedule. Pretty soon, you’ve abandoned your running routine, and you’ve gone back to your former lifestyle. What went wrong? You were focused on the goal, but the system was unbearable. You probably started training for a marathon because you wanted to be healthier and stronger. Scott Adams explains that while you can set a goal to exercise three to four times a week on a rigid schedule, if you’re not enjoying the exercise, there’s a much higher risk that you’re going to give it up. You may do it for a time, but in the long run, you’ll probably lack the willpower to continue because it feels like a punishment.

MINDING MY BUSINESS

Suppose a sports coach chooses to focus on picking great players, developing incredible plays, and creating effective practice routines instead of winning. What would be the result? They’ll probably have a winning team. For your business to be successful, it’s vital to understand what is working and what isn’t working in your process. Think about the things in your system that are working and the things that are not. What does your hiring process look like? � Do you have employees that fit your vision? Instead, he suggests choosing to be active each day to a level that feels good.

� If not, what practices can you change to hire better employees?

In this scenario,

Think about your marketing campaign and the system that drives it.

� You’re training yourself that being active is positive. � You’re going to get a psychological lift from the exercise.

� Is it working?

� You’re slowly training your body and mind to enjoy being active as opposed to hating it.

� What changes can you implement in your system to reach more customers and drive more business?

You’ll naturally want to challenge yourself as you continue to enjoy being active more. Your original activity level may start with short, slow walks, but you may eventually find that you like running.

Now think about your products or services and the systems you have in place to support them.

You’ll do so because you want to and not because you’re forcing yourself to do it.

� What can you do to improve your product? � How can you streamline the process and make things more efficient? � Are your products or services testing well? � If not, what can you do to improve them?

HOW DO SYSTEMS HELP ENTREPRENEURS? First and foremost, systems are much more flexible than goals. If you have a type-A personality, this shift may make you feel a little uncomfortable at first. It may feel like you’re giving up control by not focusing much energy on a future outcome. The big question you have to ask yourself is: What happens when you shift your focus from a concrete goal to the process that gets you there? If you’re focused on the system, does that mean you’re abandoning your goals and wandering aimlessly? The short answer is: no. Here’s why.

These small, day-to-day improvements will make you feel successful, fulfilled, and productive. Learning how to push through daily struggles will bring you confidence and happiness in a way that hard to reach goals never will. A system teaches you how to become better at what you do, and it dramatically develops your skill level. If something isn’t working well, you have the flexibility to change it and move on. You still have the skills that you developed, but you can now use them in a new direction. That’s the gift of a system. In the next issue, I’ll talk about the importance of getting things done.  Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

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September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

HOW TO VALIDATE YOUR "BIG" IDEA IS MARKETABLE BY DONNA CARLETTA

nce you’ve determined what you think your side hustle or big business idea should be, it’s important to validate it. In other words, be able to demonstrate that people will pay you for what you offer them. Determine if there’s a “market need” for the product or services that you will provide. After all, it won’t serve you well to start your side hustle, only to discover that no one wants what you’re offering. You’ll end up spending hours and hours on things that won’t generate any extra income. You’ll also become discouraged and probably want to give up. Therefore, it’s essential to ensure that people want what you have to offer, even if it’s just a few people. Identifying a small niche can render high returns. So how can you do that? Where can you find an audience on which to test out your idea? Some simple ideas include: • Ask your friends on social media if they would be interested in what you have to offer. • If you have an email list, send out a poll to them, asking who would be interested in what you’re going to offer. • Create a sign-up list where people can get more information. If numerous people sign up, it’s a sign that your idea has merit. • Offer to let people pre-purchase your offer. If several people purchase from you, you know that you’re onto something good. Your goal is to avoid wasting time on ideas that won’t get any traction. If your polls, emails, and sign-up list aren’t getting much of a response, it may be time to move on to a different side hustle. It’s essential that you not get discouraged at this point. If you can’t get any traction on your side hustle, that doesn’t mean you have to give it up altogether. It merely means you may not be able to make a sustainable income from it. Or, you may need to adjust your approach to your product. There are dozens of ways to make money, and you can undoubtedly find an idea that allows you to do what you love.  Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

September/October 2020

LEADING AN AWARDWINNING COMPANY FOUNDED ON CONSENSUS

d n a l o I I R I t t e d r u B The Battle for Productivity: Are You Winning or Losing? Vested: It's Not What You Wear â&#x20AC;&#x201D; It's What You Own

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Learn from the best and get proven and time-tested advice needed to succeed. Discover powerful strategies and systems, and endless possibilities to rapidly grow your business in any economy. Gain powerful insights to help you achieve growth quickly and save your most precious resources—time and money. Wow, I simply love this book. I was personally empowered by this tome of collective wisdom and insights. WELCOME TO THE TOP IS A MUST-READ FOR EVERY PERSON WHO IS SERIOUS ABOUT LEADING A FULFILLING AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE. My heartfelt thanks go out to Monica for providing us a clear way to manifest our destiny. Dr. George C. Fraser, CEO, FraserNet, Inc.

WELCOME TO THE TOP IS A MASTERPIECE AND AN ABSOLUTE MUST-READ FOR ENTREPRENEURS. It should be mandatory reading in every business school. Many of the ideas and the advice they offer can be applied immediately to any business. I have used them for my business and had great results. The wisdom they each share is profound and will shorten the learning curve for readers and save them from making a boatload of costly mistakes. Chrissy Carew, Hall of Fame Master Certified Coach & Founder of Insightful Player, LLC

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There can be no progress if people have no faith in tomorrow. — John F. Kennedy

CONTENTS EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

ROLAND BURDETT III Leading an AwardWinning Company Founded on Consensus

EMPOWER YOURSELF

Discovering Talents You Didn’t Know You Had

How to Remain Motivated When Things Are at a Standstill

The Unwritten Rules About Communication

Using the Power of Networking to Score a Better Job

Vested: It's Not What You Wear— It's What You Own

LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE

Friendship According to Facebook

Recipe

LEADING

AN AWARD-

Winning Company Founded on Consensus

Roland Burdett III

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

ot long after Betsie Miklos founded Miklos Systems, Inc. (MSI) in 1993, she hired a young man named Roland Burdett as her first employee — and her first vice president. Burdett was tasked with managing and growing this small software development and systems engineering firm during the industry’s infancy. In Burdett, Miklos had landed an experienced software engineer born and bred in the company’s Fairfax, Virginia community. Burdett was educated at nearby Mt. Vernon High School and held a BS in Computer Science from George Mason University. But he was more than just a local computer whiz kid. He had a vision which meshed with Miklos’ own: To flourish through a focus on exceptional customer service and an employee-centric company culture. Together, Miklos and Burdett grew the company, intentionally avoiding niche technologies in favor of hiring and retaining employees who are the best in their fields. Their 5 Guiding Principles? Technical Excellence, Customer Service, Personal Integrity, Collaborative Culture…. and Have Fun.

retirement plan authorized by federal tax and pension laws. Unlike 401(k) plans which are paid by the employee, an ESOP allows Miklos to deposit company stock into a plan as part of each employee’s benefit package, with no out-ofpocket contribution from the employee. This relatively unique configuration means that not only does each MSI employee own a part of the company, but this ownership drives a truly collaborative team culture. Since each employee-owner shares in the company’s stock, each is vested in its success and achievements. This positively affects customer service, individual motivation, teamwork and enthusiasm in a way that non-employeeowned companies often have difficulty creating and maintaining. Miklos Systems’ structure and philosophy permeates all aspects of work and means that all employee-owners are involved in major strategic decisions, company financial planning, and corporate social responsibility activities. Many Miklos employee-owners volunteer with the Fairfax school

Yes, “Have Fun” is literally a front and center goal at MSI. Burdett beams with excitement when he talks about his company’s culture and guiding principles. He’s clearly proud of their long record of customer and employee retention and job satisfaction. After all, it’s part of his job description to help find great employees and make them feel like they’re part of a mission-focused family. He boasts about the fact that MSI employees feel comfortable enough to call and email him any time, with any question, concern, or idea. In 2006, Betsie Miklos retired, Burdett was named president, and MSI transitioned into an Employee-Owned company. A major milestone in the company’s history, the decision to share ownership with employees was (and still is) founded on the belief that the people who contribute to MSI’s success should benefit from that success.

Bestie Miklos and Roland Burdett III

In a financial sense, this translates into the company’s Employee Stock Ownership Plan, or ESOP, a tax-qualified

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Roland: In some ways, it has been quite a game-changer. In other ways, it hasn’t. As soon as the lockdowns hit, our approach was two-pronged. First, I said, “Let’s get back to the basics.” Our values of customer service, technical excellence, honesty, and consensus-building are even more critical than before. We want to take care of our customers, and we want to take care of each other to be sure we get through this. Second, we can get through this together and we should do everything needed to make it through. We’ve done an excellent job of both from the very beginning. We’ve continued to serve our customers, and we’ve continued to do everything we were doing before, but we’ve tightened our belt. At this point, cash forecasting is what matters, and everybody’s done a great job. We’re working virtually. We’re finding online training courses that are almost as good as those presented in-person. system, packing meals for kids during and outside of the school year. But if they prefer to give back in some other way, they’re encouraged to do that too. For Burdett, that means serving on the Board of Directors of the local Washington Arlington Catholic Forensics League (WACFL) and the National Catholic Forensics League (NCFL), where he also serves as the National Tournament Director. These leagues provide a forum for high school speech and debate teams. He does it because it lets him pay back all those who helped him by continuing these skillbuilding competitions. Today Miklos is home to 56 happy employee-owners and continuing its growth with several job openings on its careers page. The company was recently awarded the top honor as the country’s “ESOP Company of the Year for 2019,” judged for their commitment to employeeownership both within their company and the greater ESOP community. Burdett recently sat down to tell us more about how Miklos Systems works. We think you’ll find his insights fascinating. Monica: COVID-19 has suddenly altered the way business is conducted. What lessons have you learned from this unexpected storm? 46

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Monica: Everybody chips in and contributes to helping the company to survive. Roland: That gets to our employee ownership culture. The other part is communications. At the end of every work week, I communicate three important items. These could be news about our customers, kudos for our employees, or relevant information about our community.

Everybody’s valuable. Everybody contributes. With everybody working together, the company succeeds, and by definition, everybody succeeds since we’re employee-owners.

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

I’m proud of MSI’s consistent messaging. Communications is my number-one job. Any time anybody calls me with questions or concerns, stress, childcare issues, or things like that, I drop whatever I’m working on. It’s very important. Monica: During this time of change, have you found any opportunities for improvement in how you do business or how employee-owners can become more productive? Roland: Our CFO, Cheryl White, and COO, Barbara Cain, and I did a lot of reading, webinars, talking to experts, other companies, and our advisor. We want to learn everything we can about COVID-19, including its implications, what’s happening in the business world, and what’s going on with our customers. We want to know what’s going on with employees and their families, what’s happening locally, what we need to do next, and where we need to go.

and asked, “How are you? Is there anything you need? What can we do for you?” This establishes a communications path where you can go for help if you don’t want to come to me. It’s all about making those connections to keep them going. Monica: What can a small tech company like MSI do to survive and build during these times? Roland: I don’t think it’s changed with COVID-19. It’s always been about finding great employees who are dedicated to their customers and the company’s mission. It’s keeping your customers and employees satisfied.

In terms of making things more productive, we’ve followed the lead of our customers because most of our employees work at customer sites.

In these times, we’re focusing on what we can control and preparing for what we can’t. We do what we call “scenario planning.” We don’t do the big five-year strategic plans because they change so quickly. There’s a famous quote: “No plan survives the first contact with the enemy.” If you had spent a lot of time in 2019 doing a five-year plan, you’ve thrown it all away in 2020.

In terms of changes in the way we do things, it’s been very much how we do meetings. Normally, we had entire company meetings as well as smaller group team meetings. Now, instead of having a team lunch meeting, we schedule WebEx or Microsoft Teams chats.

We do scenario planning by asking ourselves, “What’s going to happen over the next six months or the next year? What could happen? How do we respond to it?” We do that consistently. It’s cash forecasting. It’s trying to look ahead and be more tactical and agile about how we respond.

Monica: Do you think that some of these changes will become the norm? Roland: They’ll be at least the temporary norm, but I’d hate to see purely virtual become the norm. I like getting together with people. One of the things I love about my job is meeting with people, talking and listening. I miss that. However, it may take another six months, a year, or maybe even 18 months before we return to something approaching normal. Monica: Employees countrywide are experiencing many challenges, especially those with families and children. What are some ways you’re keeping your employeeowners motivated and hopeful during these times? Roland: From a company point of view, we’re reaching out to the people who are experiencing challenges with childcare, or with family members if somebody’s sick. Our Employee Ownership Committee actually sent handwritten notes to everybody in the company to check in Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Roland: One of the big ones is with our customers. We’ve spent much effort to consolidate contracts. Instead of having a lot of small contracts, we’ve been moving to much larger contracts, which pushes out the small company as a prime contractor and forces us to become subcontractors. Realistically, only a huge company can handle contracts of 2,000 or more persons. It’s been a few years now, but we had to change our approach from priming contracts with over half of our company. Now only 20 percent of our company is on prime contracts, and the rest are on subcontracts. This changed our approach to dealing with customers and prime partners. We had to spend a lot more time developing those relationships. Monica: That proves that building relationships is very important. Roland: The Tugboat Institute talks about it as “people first.” It’s both employees and customers. You have to look at them first. You have to value both sides and help both sides of that equation succeed. Monica: An employee-owned company is run a little differently than the typical corporation or company. Besides achieving profitability, what else do you use to gauge and measure your company’s success?

Teamwork makes the dream work.

That’s changed in COVID times. Situation changes are much more fast-moving. But as I previously mentioned, it’s about getting back to the basics. Get great employees who are committed to serving the customers well, and who are dedicated to each other. Keep everybody satisfied. Keep everybody together and moving forward. Monica: Outside of challenges from COVID-19, what’s another problem that MSI has had to overcome, that required you to adjust a deeply-rooted perspective or a thought process to keep the company on track? 48

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Roland: Being employee-owned puts us on a long-term view of everything. We’re not owned by a single person or a small, select group of people taking cash out of the company. We don’t have Wall Street behind us in terms of always looking for the next two weeks or the next month of results. Over the last two years, we have invested heavily in recruiting college students. That investment will pay off in a year to three years. It will significantly change our revenue curve, and hopefully our profitability curve along with it. So, the other measures of success are people; our customers, especially repeat customers. They want our people on their teams. Our retention rate is on average over 90 percent. And that’s what we like to see. We measure how successful we are with our employees, our customers, and growing in a controlled, sustainable

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

manner. You don’t want to build a house of cards by hiring 100 people in a year to whom you can’t bring the culture. It’s got to be a paced growth, planned for the long-term. Monica: What is your company culture and what does it mean to you? Roland: We have an employeeownership culture made up of two parts. One is the environment, the meetings, and the participation. It’s our parties and traditions, our values of customer first, technical excellence, and teamwork. The other side of our culture is the actual employee ownership. With that, you don’t have a vote on everything, but you do have insight, input, and influence. We practice an open book policy, where everything except salaries is open to everybody. I go through the finances and report to everybody how we’re doing two or three times a year. As an employee-owner, you always have the opportunity to provide input and suggestions. There are 55 people in the company, so by definition, we have 54 brains that are as good or better than mine.

Miklos employee-owners pack lunches for school kids.

There may be some people who don’t want to participate and that’s fine. But if somebody is noticeably not participating, I’ll go to them separately and ask, “Hey, is anything bothering you? Is there something we should be doing or hearing?” It’s fine if someone just prefers to

We’re always open to input. Unlike most traditional companies, we’re always open to different ideas and suggestions. You have an influence. When there’s something going on that you think we ought to be doing differently, the door is always open. Monica: How do you leverage the differences that each employee-owner brings to the company so that everyone feels valued and contributes to their success as well as the company’s success? Roland: Communication. Listening. I was in a seminar last year where Mia Tate, an actress, spoke about listening as a superpower. She said, “Listen past the point where it’s comfortable.” So, you’re always listening. You’re always looking for stories. You’re always asking questions, having conversations with people, trying to learn from everybody. You’re actively encouraging those conversations, and encouraging participation. Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

observe and provide input quietly, but I want to make sure that everybody’s heard. We’ve always worked hard to include everybody, and now we're working harder at it. We’re looking at our recruiting policies and what we can do to better support diversity and inclusion. Monica: What plays a role in helping MSI to have over a 90 percent retention rate? Roland: Again, it’s that employee ownership culture. Everybody has insight, input, and influence over what’s going on in the company. There’s a sense of control that you’re not just working for the benefit of somebody else. You’re working for your own benefit too.

It’s also our approach of treating adults like they’re adults, and letting people focus on what they do best. We try to lift as much of the administrative burden and tasks as possible. Everybody’s valuable. Everybody contributes. With everybody working together, the company succeeds, and by definition, everybody succeeds since we’re employeeowners. Monica: What attributes do you look for in job candidates? Roland: We look for clues to their customer service approach. We want people who get their kicks out of helping others; people who, at the end of the day, ask

Miklos Systems, Inc. wins National 2019 ESOP Company of the Year award.

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

sessions, and articles. There’s technical training and employee ownership training. Then there’s transparency. We believe that everybody’s got insight and let them know that if they have an idea, to let me know. We listen to our employees and our teams. Monica: What do you value most about your employee-owners?

MSI celebrates ESOP with cruise.

themselves, “What did I do to help a customer today? What did I do to help a fellow employee?” Then we look for technical excellence and for people who are always willing to learn new things. We’re in the IT industry, and that changes quickly – sometimes almost overnight. So, we look for people who want to learn the latest programming language, or the newest tool, and to see whether this can help.

Roland: The way they treat each other and the way they treat customers is most important. Then, the way they help the company and each other. That’s amazing to watch. That’s what gets me up in the morning and excited about coming into work -- working with everybody, sharing with people, learning from them, putting together plans, and making things happen as a group. Monica: Oscar Wilde once said that success is a science. If you have the conditions, you get the result. What conditions are necessary to succeed in the competitive IT industry, and for MSI to remain competitive and successful?

We also look for good teammates. We look for unselfish people who want be part of a team, are supportive and responsive. That all matches our company’s core values of customer service, technical excellence, and consensus-building teamwork. Monica: How do you enable employee-owners to understand their role in helping the company?

MSI celebrates ESOP.

Roland: It starts with education. When they first join the company, they learn what employee ownership means, their responsibilities, and how to contribute. Throughout the year, we talk about how to bring value to the company at different meetings. For example, you can recruit new employees to help us with our top-line revenue. You can help us with expenses to improve on our bottom line. We participate in the ESOP Association nationally and locally, the NCEO, and a group called Certified Employee Owner. We participate in the Tugboat Institute and its certified Evergreen Program. We encourage employees to participate and learn in these webinars, education Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Roland: Teamwork with our customers and with our employees. I believe you need to create and maintain an environment where collaboration is encouraged, recognized, and rewarded. Next, focus. When Betsy Miklos and I were first starting the company, we went to a seminar with Tom Peters. He said, “You need to have somebody in your company who has no problem telling you you’re about to screw it up.” Very early on, we knew who that was. We hired him, and for the last 25 years he has been able to help us focus. When I start saying, “We could do this. We could do that,” he calls or emails me and says, “Hey, is this what we should be focusing on?” Defining our timeline is another important condition for success. We’re here for the long haul, and we need to demonstrate our dedication to our sustainability. We’re not going to make short-term decisions or make knee-jerk reactions.

Monica: What advice can you offer small startup business owners about the keys to growth and overcoming unexpected challenges? Roland: Learn everything you can from articles, webinars, books, and magazines. I usually read one and a half to two hours a day. Since COVID, I’ve been reading two to three hours a day from the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, London newspapers – anything I can get my hands on. Listen before you act. Listen to where it’s uncomfortable. Listen, and think it through, and then take action. Find trusted advisors and keep them close. Find a good lawyer, and have no problem paying their fee when you need advice. Find a good accountant and ask them questions. Find a couple of mentors in the same field. When we were first starting the company, we knew a CEO at another company who was about three years ahead of us in growth. I had lunch with him twice a year to ask, “What do you see now? What should we be thinking about? What mistake did you make a year ago that we might have on our horizon?” Monica: Miklos has been making a tremendous difference in the community through the Food for Others program and in other ways. What is your view on giving back and how corporate social responsibility impacts the companies that practice it? Roland: It’s essential for employees to do something other than just work. They shouldn’t be at work for 20 hours a day. Everybody’s got their own family, community, church and hobbies. But as a company, we have supported the Fairfax County Schools Power Pack Lunch Program (P3). We pack lunches for the elementary school kids during the school year and during the summer.

Miklos Systems donates 106 wreaths. Employee-owners volunteer to place company donated wreaths at Alexandria, Virginia National Cemetery on National Wreaths Across America Day.

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

We also give employees space to do whatever they like, on their own. We enable our employees to serve their families, their communities, and their churches. Our employees work with robotics teams and competitions, with different church ministries, and with music education for kids. I work with local high school speech and debate teams, and I support their national championship every year. Monica: How does becoming an effective debater help young people develop leadership skills and prepare for life?

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Miklos team celebrates 25th anniversary.

Roland: It’s the ability to think critically and use your voice to make a change. Kids are making a difference right now. Look at how kids made a difference after the high school shootings in Florida. They took their voices and made a difference in the country that we adults couldn’t. Look at the Black Lives Matter efforts and the police brutality efforts. Those are mainly driven by young people. Many have been taught how to make valid, cogent arguments, how to present themselves well, and how to create pressure for change publicly and through social media. Monica: What are you most passionate and excited about? Roland: Working with the team. The days I like best are where I have lots of chats with our employees, or with our customers on what we’re doing, how we’re doing it, what we can do better, and how we can work together to get something done. I like working with our employees. I think they’re great people. We’ve got 55 terrific people in the company and it will soon be 56.

Roland: First, find a great team. Give them the resources they need and then get out of the way. Years ago, I had a manager who said that the trick to being an effective leader was to be like a baseball manager. Get the best resources you can, teach them what they need, give them the tools and resources they need, and then get out of the way and let them play the game. The trick is defining resources. That’s always evolving. That’s the hard part of being a leader -- providing the resources so your team can succeed. Second, make decisions. Don’t let them get made for you. If you don’t decide, somebody else will decide for you, and you’re going to get stuck doing something you may not want to do. 

Monica: What is your last word on what it takes to be a good leader?

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

Start Your Business Right

A Comprehensive Guide to Entrepreneurship Success SECOND EDITION Monica Davis’ book ‘Start Your Business Right, A Comprehensive Guide to Entrepreneurship Success’ is a musthave tool for every entrepreneur and anyone contemplating that decision. She gives you the tools first and follows it with the roadmap. Your journey is mapped out. Judy Hoberman, President, Selling In A Skirt

Ever wondered what it would be like to read a relevant guide that can take you through each step of starting your business the right way? Monica Davis has brilliantly written that guide. If you want to start your business the right way or turn an existing business around in the right direction, I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ THIS INSTRUCTIONAL GUIDE. THANK YOU, MONICA, FOR THIS MARVELOUS RESOURCE! Faye Hill, CEO, The Hill Agency International LLC

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EMPOWER YOURSELF

Do at least one thing every day that will help you get closer to the outcome youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re seeking.

DISCOVERING

Talents

You Didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Know You Had BY MARLA GEM

EMPOWER YOURSELF

here is – at the very least – one outstanding talent you have – one you might not even be aware of. Perhaps there are several hidden talents oblivious to you. There could be a whole lot of things that you are good at, but never think about.

• Is there something particular you enjoy talking about? When spending time with friends, what subjects you talk about most frequently? Perhaps scientific updates or travel destinations pique your interest. Zero in on the specifics of your favorite topics.

Would your life be more complete if you knew what those talents were? Probably.

• Is there a certain talent that others have you are envious of? For instance, if you’re an art lover, is it possible that you have some sort of artistic talent that you’re unaware of? Do you enjoy writing? Have you ever tried to write a short story?

You might not be aware of something right under your nose that you could be capitalizing on. Discover talents you didn’t know about using the following strategies: • Follow what your interests are – one approach discovering hidden talents involves following your interests, as doing so will help you figure out what your life’s purpose is. Get out of your comfort zone and show a greater interest in what your interests are. • If you have an urge to take a computer programming course, or are fascinated with jazz music, breadcrumbs should be followed in order to determine where they bring you. • Write down some of the interests that you haven’t actually tried before. Begin with ones that’ve been on your mind for quite a while, and coordinate plans to follow through on them. Simply choose one interest and explore it. Pay attention to what happens. • What are your strengths? Is there something that you are able to do naturally that other people seem to have difficulty with? What you excel at? Are there certain strengths that you have mastered throughout the years? Which strengths do you believe you are better at than others? Finding the answers to these questions could be an impactful approach to identifying talents you are oblivious to. • Advice asking – your family and friends probably know you better than you think. They might even notice things that you pay no mind to. Ask people who are close to you what they think your greatest strengths are. How would they describe your talents? How do they think your gifts should be used? A majority of your family and friends won’t shy away from answering these questions for you. Some of them might be eager to share their observations.

• Aptitude tests – intelligence tests measure how smart you are. Achievement tests quantify your knowledge. Aptitude tests establish what you excel at. Essentially, it is an evaluation that reveals what your talents are. • There are no shortages of aptitude assessments available online. Try one of them out and see the kind of revelations they bring you. • Take a closer look at your book, music, and movie collection. Are there certain types of movies that you flock to? What genre of books do you enjoy reading the most? Is there a certain kind of music that you are inspired by? Is there a common theme among your personal media collection? Is there a way this interest can be leveraged? • Be open-minded. Many people decide what they are going to be way too early in their lives. When it comes to discovering what your talents are – be open-minded, as you don’t want to shut something out just because it sounds strange. Nothing can be discovered when our minds are closed up. Just how much talent do you have? What are the chances that you are oblivious to most of them? Would you be blown away if you found out that there were a slew of talents under your nose this entire time? Based on how limited people’s experiences tend to be, odds are pretty good that you haven’t discovered all of your talents quite yet! How many times have you gone surfing? Played the piano? Drew a self-portrait? Made a gingerbread house? Endeavored to author a book? Follow some of your interests to see what path they bring you on.  Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

How to Remain

Motivated

WHEN THINGS ARE AT A STANDSTILL BY KATHY KENTTY

EMPOWER YOURSELF

otivation may be difficult to retain if you don’t see your desired results. The capacity to motivate yourself intrinsically – or persevere in the absence of motivation – can be a priceless skill. Motivation isn’t easy to come by. As such, understanding how to go about managing yourself when faced with this scenario is vital if you intend to succeed. Standing idly by when you lack motivation will work to your detriment. There’s a much more effective approach to getting through insufficient (or non-existent) motivation. The following suggestions should be followed if you want to remain persistent in the absence of results: � Patience should be practiced – nobody likes being told that they lack patience. These are words we have been hearing since childhood. Nonetheless, it remains solid advice. � From time to time, things take a lot longer than expected. � Occasionally, results may show up long after you expected them to. For instance, a boulder can be whacked with a large hammer from morning to night, and it may look like no progress is happening. Suddenly, before you know it, the bolder could end up splitting in half.

� Use failures and mistakes to regain mastery – failures and mistakes transpire more frequently than we would like them to, but that’s just the nature of the beast. Optimizing negative results will make a significant difference. � When you understand that failures can help you perfect your craft, remaining motivated will be simpler. With that said, if/when you are failing, you will understand the things are still going your way. � Express gratitude – expressing gratitude every day will be a wonderful reminder of how things are actually a lot better than you think they are. By hanging in there much longer and never failing to try, you will end up feeling grateful regularly. � Take breaks – whether they are long breaks or short ones, be sure to take timeouts. Just be mindful that it may be difficult to get in the groove again if your breaks go for extensive periods. Lengthy breaks end up becoming permanent ones, for the most part. � Perhaps you need a mini-vacation. One night out with some comfort food and drinks with friends may be just the thing you need to recharge your batteries.

� Retain the freshness of the final outcome in your head – when motivation seems to be dwindling, think about how you will feel once you have finally achieved success. Visualize the way success will feel. Focus on the moment when your goal is reached. Observe the positivity that comes with the experience.

� Be mindful of the successes you’ve achieved in the past. Past successes are capable of rekindling enthusiasm. Keep reminding yourself of the things you were successful with before. This will renew your mindset for success. This is an optimal approach to improving your mood as well.

� Establish a timetable, then remain faithful to it – once your motivation starts lagging, you may begin to feel lazy and act like it, too. One approach to combating this is by creating a plan each day for yourself, then remaining faithful to it. You will need a lot more structure if your motivation is really down in the dumps.

Motivation can be nice when it lasts. However, if you endeavor to be very successful, then you must figure out how to keep going in the absence of motivation.

� You will never achieve success if you give up. It will be a lot harder to fail when you keep going. At some point, your objective will be accomplished. But the only way to reach that point is to never quit.

Creating and recovering motivation is also an option. Be mindful of how wonderful things will be if/when you achieve success and reach your goal. Breaks should be taken when required. Practice patience and appreciate the fact that positive things don’t always happen overnight! 

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

The

Unwritten Rules About Communication BY PAT MARKEL

WHAT IS A BOUNDARY We hear about boundaries a lot, but most people don’t understand what that means or how to follow those boundaries. Complicating the matter further, different people have different boundaries, and they vary based on the type of relationship. Think of boundaries as personal space physical, social, and emotional. There are different boundaries in every situation. As a general rule, keep your personal business separate from your workplace and vice versa. Don’t tell acquaintances or strangers your deepest fears and secrets. Save the personal things for people you know and trust. Don’t trust everyone who is kind to you. People have to show us consistently over time who they are before we can know, like and trust them.

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Body Language To understand boundaries, you need to be good at reading body language. Not everyone is bold enough to speak up and say they don’t want a hug or like to be touched. But their body language will say it if you pay attention. People who do not welcome physical touch often stand with their arms crossed. You may notice that they move away slightly if you lean in toward them. Their facial expression will likely be confusion, fear, or dread - not a wide smile with open arms. The rule of thumb is to stand at arm’s length from others, especially if you don’t know them well. People who “get in your space” are often perceived as trying to intimidate or “come on” to you. It may be unnerving to those with a strong need for personal space or firm boundaries. Someone who’s open to your closeness will have a more open posture and welcoming expression if the underlying intention is good. Still, unless you have a personal relationship and are accustomed to being physical with each other, it’s a good idea to ask, “Is it okay to give you a hug?” Physical Boundaries Recognizing physical boundaries is usually easy, but it varies depending on the context. Some people feel crowded or even intimidated when people get too close to them physically. Others are wide open and want to shake hands, hug, or slap you on the back. Neither is right or wrong - just different. As a rule, it’s a good idea to ask someone before you hug them - especially if you don’t know them well. Some people find this offensive and may even feel claustrophobic. People who have anxiety or past trauma can feel very uncomfortable in these situations. Pay attention and stay within arm’s reach unless invited to cross that boundary. It may be an imaginary line, but it’s real. In work situations or with acquaintances, shaking hands may be expected or normal. Some people are not okay with

any physical touch. If you extend your hand and get a nod in response, accept it and move on. Emotional Boundaries Understanding emotional boundaries is much more complicated. We often assume that everyone is like us. They’re not. People have different needs and levels of comfort in sharing their thoughts and feelings. Again, those who have been emotionally hurt or have little experience with close relationships may be uncomfortable with those who overshare or try to get too close. How do you learn about someone’s emotional boundaries? Try these strategies: • Take it slow. • Get acquainted with safe, neutral conversations. • Avoid asking personal questions until you have a solid foundation. • Always ask permission and give people choices, such as, “Is it okay to ask you something personal?” or, “Feel free only to answer if you’re comfortable with it.” • Then, respect their boundary - whatever it is. What you consider personal and what someone else finds personal may differ. For example, if someone asks you how much money you make soon after meeting you, you may not want to answer them. When you don’t want to answer, you can say something like: • “That isn’t something I want to talk about.” • “I don’t know you well enough to share that information.” Don’t worry about what they think. It’s up to you to let others know how far is too far. Unless you do, they may keep pushing until you decide to stop them. You set your boundaries, and you must enforce them. If you let someone cross your boundaries once, they assume that it’s okay to do it again. Mixed messages often lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.  Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

USING THE POWER OF NETWORKING TO SCORE A BETTER JOB BY JON CRUMP

fter getting a different job, it may be tempting to relax a little. After all, up to that point, you were probably chasing one lead after another, hopping from interview to interview. Now that you have achieved your goal, you can take it easy and do some Netflix bingingâ&#x20AC;Ś

â&#x20AC;Śor should you? By doing so, you may be letting opportunities pass you by. Such transitions are the perfect time to enhance your network. You will appreciate your relaxation time much more by handling your business first. Go through this idea checklist to deepen and extend professional relationships in the midst of a job transition.

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Networking Suggestions When Leaving an Old Job

The following strategies can be used to expand your network when starting another job:

When resigning, do so with as much grace as possible. By departing on terms that are cordial, you will keep your reputation intact. This will let you maintain valuable connections that could prove valuable down the road.

• Generously give – no matter how much experience you have, the backbone of networking involves offering value to other people. Begin sharing what you know and be as enthusiastic as you can from the get-go.

Consider the following ideas to make the job transition smooth: • Giving your boss notice – preparing your boss before submitting a resignation letter will be to your benefit. Book a one-on-one meeting to inform them about what your intentions are. Express appreciation of the opportunities you were given. Endeavor to keep the meeting positive. • Co-worker support – additional work might be passed over to your colleagues. Reduce the effect by remaining as productive as you can during your last days at the company. Training your successor may be something you want to consider doing voluntarily. • Remain in contact – most of the work relationships you have will likely fade away, since you won’t be seeing these people on an everyday basis anymore. Conversely, you can choose to remain in contact with certain people that you would like to keep in your life. Tell your office friends and boss that you anticipate seeing them again at industry-related events and/or private lunch meetings in the future. • Review Internet policies – do you own your account on LinkedIn? Who owns the personal emails you got on the company computer? If the professional and personal communication boundaries in your existing workplace are blurred, speak with your employer about what you’re able to take with you. Endeavor to separate things better at your next place of work.

• Read the room – be respectful of the new environment you are in. Observe office policies and culture. In doing so, you will have the ability to engage with people appropriately. • Try to connect with your superior – your boss happens to be a very important figure, as far as your career is concerned. Schedule some time to interact with them and request feedback when you can. • Engage with newcomers – perhaps you are not the only person who just started at this company. Share the experiences you had with fellow newcomers at company activities and onboarding sessions. • Consult with others – be assertive and introduce yourself when the opportunity strikes at your new workplace. Make time for coffee dates and exploratory meetings. Ask questions and show interest in other people’s work. • Figure out who the key players are – allocate some of your energy and time towards people who can have a big effect on your professional life. Develop a relationship with your predecessor, assuming they are still at the company. Figure out who thought leaders in your workplace are. Your superior could potentially be a great source for a recommendation. • Branching out – a long-term perspective is important. You might end up discovering valuable contacts beyond your department and/or other companies. By crossing these kinds of boundaries, you’ll be up to perform your job much more effectively while discovering different passions.

Networking Suggestions When Starting a New Job

• Be steady – although you might be full of excitement, be attentive to the schedules and workloads of your colleagues. Approaching things gradually will safeguard your popularity.

Nothing is more important in business than a first impression. Getting off on the right foot by establishing connections can go a long way towards advancing your career.

Networking skillfully will allow you to reach success at this new job. You’ll be able to keep growing your career by building relationships and helping others based on common values and goals. 

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

Vested:

It's Not What You Wearâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; It's What You Own BY MARLA GEM

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t's a term that is used a lot, and it sounds important: vesting. As in, being fully vested -- that sounds pretty good, and it is.

According to the IRS, being vested in a retirement plan means ownership. All employee contributions to a retirement plan are 100% fully vested -- the employee owns everything he or she puts in. However, employers usually provide a match of a certain percentage of employee contributions. MATCHING CONTRIBUTIONS Employers match contributions made by employees in different percentages. An employer might say: If you put 6% of your paycheck into the 401(k) plan, we'll match your contribution by 50%. So suppose your 6% equals $3,000. Then the employer will put in $1,500. That would be an unusually generous match. Typically, an employer may match 3% of the first 6% of the employee's salary. That equals a 9% contribution -- still pretty good, especially over the long term. The key idea, though, is that the employer sets a certain match percentage. The employer may also have rules about when their contributions are wholly owned (or vested) by the employee.

VESTING RULES The employer, along with the fund managers, decides how much of the match the employee owns and when. Newer employees may start at lower percentages, but they become fully vested over time. For example, an employee may become 20% vested in the company match after two years, meaning the employee own their contributions plus 20% of the com-pany match. Many 401(k) plans work out vesting in tiers. The longer you stay with the company, the more of the company contribution you own. An employee might become fully vested in, for example, six years. Then the employee owns 100% of the matching contribution. Sometimes 401(K)s are set up so that an employee becomes 100% vested at a specific time -- say after two years. Then they own all the matching funds on one day. BEING FULLY VESTED The good thing about being fully vested is that you own all the money you put in and all the money your boss matches. Plus, you own all the money that grows over time. That means you can take the money with you if you leave the company or retire. 

Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

Lighter Side of

Life

Friendship ACCORDING TO

BY DOROTHY ROSBY

LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE

h look! I’m having a friendversary today. How thoughtful of Facebook to remember that special day three years ago when Blanche and I officially became friends on their site. Now… who’s Blanche again? You understand. The average Facebook user has 338 friends, and many have far more than that. How can we possibly know them all? Facebook brings to mind that old adage, “There are no strangers here, only friends you have not met yet.” The saying is credited to the poet William Butler Yeats, who, as you know, was a big fan of Facebook. Unfortunately, he died in 1939, just as it was really taking off. I’m joking! It only seems like it’s been around that long. In its short life, Facebook has not only replaced solitaire as the most common way to avoid doing actual work on the computer, it’s also created a whole new meaning for the word “friend.” For one thing, here in the real world, friend is a noun. On Facebook it’s also a verb. People friend you; then they unfriend you—sort of like in elementary school. In the real world, they say a good friend will help you move, but a true friend will help you move a body. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say the vast majority of my Facebook friends wouldn’t help me with either, and especially the latter. Of course, if I’m ever in a position to need that kind of help, I probably shouldn’t mention it on Facebook. Real friends watch your house when you travel and pick you up at the airport when you get back. I don’t know if Blanche do that for me, and I think she’d be really surprised if I asked her to. In the real world, a friend is someone you can tell your deepest thoughts to, trusting they won’t tell a

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

million other people. On Facebook, you go ahead and tell a million other people yourself, and your friends sit by and do nothing to stop you. In the real world, you never sit down to dinner with friends and start right in discussing politics unless you’re pretty sure they agree with you. I have a few Facebook friends whose political posts make me think of a matador waving a red flag at a bullfight. Real friends share everything from gossip to French fries off each other’s plates. I suppose it’s possible I might recognize Blanche if I ever run into her at a restaurant. But even if I walk over to her table and say, “Hi Blanche. I really love your cat video posts,” I bet she won’t offer me a French fry. Facebook friends do share though. Boy do they share. The husband of a woman I know posted photos of her giving birth. For the child’s sake, I hope they’re still married. And often one of my friend’s posts something that makes me hope for his sake he won’t be looking for a new job soon. Lately I’ve seen a rash of photos of, well, rashes on Facebook. Also sores and open wounds. Blanche recently shared a photo of her stitches. A picture is worth a thousand words, but in this case, three would have been sufficient: “I have stitches.” None of this is to say I don’t enjoy my Facebook friends. I know some very interesting people there, though “know” might be too strong a word. I have friends who travel, run marathons, and create beautiful things. My Facebook friends enjoy their lives, or at least they say they do. But sometimes after I spend too much time on Facebook, I feel painfully inadequate and like I should call a friend. A real one. 

RECIPES

CHICKEN FAJITA WRAPS

with Creamy Cilantro-Lime Sauce

Here’s a creative way to use pre-cooked rotisserie chicken for a quick and flavorful weeknight meal. For best results, prepare the cilantro-lime sauce the night before so the flavors have a chance to thoroughly blend. You can also prepare the fajita seasoning in larger batches and store in an airtight container for later use. Planning ahead will save you even more time on those busy nights you want to get dinner on the table as quickly as possible. Prep time: 15 minutes Cooking time: 15 minutes Serves 4-6 INGREDIENTS: Homemade Fajita Seasoning: 3 tbs. chili powder 1½ tbs. smoked paprika 2 tsp. onion powder 2 tsp. garlic powder 2 tsp. ground cumin ½ tsp. cayenne pepper 1 tsp. dried oregano 2 tsp. sea salt

Cilantro-Lime Sauce: 1 cup plain, full-fat Greek yogurt 1 tbs. homemade fajita seasoning 1 clove garlic, peeled and finely minced 2 tbs. fresh cilantro, finely chopped 2 tbs. fresh lime juice Salt and pepper, to taste

Fajitas: 2 tbs. extra virgin olive oil 1 red bell pepper, sliced thin 1 green bell pepper, sliced thin 1 yellow bell pepper, sliced thin 1 orange pepper, sliced thin ½ small red onion, sliced thin 1 tbs. balsamic vinegar Salt and pepper, to taste 3 c. rotisserie chicken, shredded 2-3 tbs. homemade fajita seasoning ¼ cup chicken stock, preferably organic ¼ cup fresh cilantro, roughly chopped 3 green onions, green parts only, sliced 2 tbs. fresh lime juice 1 head Romaine lettuce, washed and separated into individual leaves

DIRECTIONS: Prepare the fajita seasoning by combining all ingredients in a small bowl and stirring until thoroughly blended. Store any excess in an airtight container for later use. Prepare the cilantro-lime sauce by thoroughly combining all ingredients in a medium glass or another non-reactive bowl. Cover and place in the refrigerator until ready to use. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over mediumhigh heat. Add the bell peppers, onion, and balsamic vinegar to the skillet and season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook for 10-12 minutes or until the onions and peppers are crisp-tender. Add the shredded rotisserie chicken, fajita seasoning, and chicken stock to the skillet and stir to combine. Cook, until heated through and excess liquid, is gone, approximately 3-4 minutes. Season with additional salt or fajita seasoning, if desired. Remove skillet from heat and stir in the cilantro, green onions, and fresh lime juice. To serve, spoon mixture onto individual Romaine lettuce leaves and top with a drizzle of cilantro-lime sauce. Enjoy! Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2020

RECIPES

ROASTED BRUSSELS SPROUTS

with Balsamic Glaze

This satisfying side dish goes beyond basic, boring Brussels sprouts. Its rich oven-roasted flavor is enhanced with just a hint of sweetness. The combination of sweet and savory elements in this dish makes it a perfect complement for a wide variety of main dishes. Prep time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 20-25 minutes Serves 4

INGREDIENTS: 2 tbs. extra virgin olive oil 1 lb. small Brussels sprouts, rinsed and cut in half Salt and black pepper, to taste 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar 1 tbs. real maple syrup

September-October 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

DIRECTIONS: Place oven rack in the center position and preheat oven to 400°F. Heat olive oil in a large cast-iron or another oven-safe skillet over medium-high heat. Add Brussels sprouts to skillet and season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook for several minutes, occasionally stirring until the sprouts begin to turn brown. Once browned, transfer the skillet into the preheated oven and roast for 15-20 minutes, stirring halfway through. Remove sprouts from the oven once they are tender and start to turn a vibrant brown color. While the sprouts are roasting, add balsamic vinegar and maple syrup to a small skillet and heat over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly, then reduce heat to medium. Continue stirring until the vinegar mixture reduces to about 1/3 of its original volume and becomes thick and syrupy. (Do not overcook or it will become too hard and sticky). To serve, transfer Brussels sprouts to a plate and drizzle lightly with balsamic glaze. Season with salt and pepper, if desired. Enjoy with an entrée of your choice.

Profile Resources Profile Resources

LORNA M. JOHNSON https://www.lornamjohnsonglobalinstitute.com/ lmj-global-institute/ https://www.lornamjohnsonglobalinstitute.com/ the-foundation/ https://twitter.com/lornamaejohnson https://www.facebook.com/pg/LornaMaeJohnson/about/

ROLAND BURDETT III https://miklos.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/roland-burdett-msi/ https://twitter.com/rolandeb3

DR. LISA PION-BERLIN https://parentsanonymous.org/ caparentyouthhelpline.org https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-pion-berlin-14561210/

Design and Graphics

Magazine Design and Graphics, and Cover Design by Jenette Antonio Sityar

Of all the people in the world, you have a rare quality that is unique to you. Let it shine through so that others may be inspired by it.