www.exceptionalmag.com
September-October 2011
CONTENTS
Extraordinary Profiles 58
Cover Story— Judy Hoberman–Sales Genie Out of the Bottle
64
Jacqueline Downey—An Advocate for Childhood Obesity
Inspiration
Cover photo by Creative Photography by Cindi
70
The Words You Speak Are Like a Miraculous Wand
72
Do You Avoid Failure Like the Plague?
73
Diana Epstein—Giving the Gift of Sight to Thousands
78
Tim Halperin—Sings in the Key of Life
The Lighter Side 84
Sometimes Fall Leaves Much to Be Desired
86
Recipe
87
Profile Resources
88
Writers and Contributors
Just as there are thousands of dew drops on a flower, so are the opportunities that are presented to you in your lifetime.
Publisher’s Letter Dear Friend, Do you have motivation? Webster's Dictionary defines motivation as "the mental process that arouses an organism to action." Are you still going strong? Some of you may have experienced unexpected setbacks, but there's something that’s keeping you motivated to continue on your path to success. Although 2011 is almost over if you’ve made it this far, then I know you have what it takes to succeed. In my experience of speaking to hundreds of people during seminars and one-on-one interviews over the years, I’ve found that people become motivated to change their lives for various reasons. Some people are self-motivated. They know what they want to do with their lives; they have dreams and they immediately start working on them. They’re always looking for ways to improve their lives, improve conditions in the world or their communities. They don’t need to be told that they can achieve greatness, it exists within them and they’re committed to helping others. Others become inspired to change their lives when they see someone whom they know excel. That makes them realize that they too can excel, live a more meaningful life and turn a talent or skill that they possess into a remarkable success story. Still others become inspired after hitting rock bottom with nowhere to go but up. Taking on a fighting spirit, they realize that something must be done to change for the better and belief in oneself is of paramount importance. Unique skills, talents and great potential are not always self-evident, and sometimes people need to have someone help them bring out their talents and abilities. With encouragement they become motivated to live up to their potential. It’s never too late to begin the process of change. You can start from wherever you are at the moment. The September/October issue spotlights extraordinary entrepreneurs, CEOs and others who were motivated by many things, including the circumstances surrounding their lives, wanting to make someone else’s life better or overcoming their own challenges. What motivates you? Do you have a motivator to help you live your life to the fullest? If not, I encourage you to find your "motivator" and begin living up to your potential today. Reading Exceptional People magazine is a great beginning. Exceptional People Magazine is not just a magazine. It is a life-changing experience. Send us your letters at www.exceptionalmag.com/contact.html. Tell us what you want to read in Exceptional People Magazine. Sincerely,
Extraordinary Profiles
With nearly 30 years of experience, Judy Hoberman is a natural born leader in the sales arena. She knows what works and what doesn't. When it comes to selling to women, she has discovered sales techniques that out-perform all others and, as an award-winning training director, Hoberman has shared her unique approach with audiences in the corporate and selfemployment arenas. Her book "Selling in a Skirt," reveals fresh, innovative ideas for men and women to identify distinctions in sales techniques between the genders and provides advice on how to use these techniques to meet corporate demands and those of small entrepreneurs. No matter how many clients you have, you can always acquire more and you probably would want additional sales. Selling requires a unique combination of mindset and skills, and Hoberman has mastered them both. She has developed a female-focused approach and strategies that can help anyone gain additional clientele and a greater share of the market.
Judy Hoberman Sales Genie Out of The Bottle
If you're using an outdated approach to sales, then you're losing money.
Extraordinary Profiles
Hoberman's 30 years of experience is helping sales teams and individuals to utilize a more savvy approach to selling. She has changed the way men think about their female counterparts in the business world, because they now have an expert in their corner. Hoberman graciously shared some of her invaluable business strategies with Exceptional People Magazine. Monica: What are some common challenges that women face in sales?
It was like two opposite ends of the spectrum. That’s how I felt because the second man was so nice. I told him what happened earlier, and he said he was from a family of six sisters. He stated that he knew how women like to be treated, and that’s the way he treated them. It was a very pleasant experience that positively overshadowed the negative experience. Monica: That’s excellent. He understands where women are coming from. Judy: Absolutely.
Judy: Women like to build relationships, so the sales process can take a little bit longer. So the number one challenge is time. Managers who don’t recognize the importance of building relationships may feel that you’re taking too much time. Sometimes the client thinks you're taking too much time, and your employer may feel the same way. Since women purchase 85% of all consumer products, they need to build customer relationships. Monica: Can you identify some experiences you have encountered when being approached by a salesperson or specifically a male salesperson? Judy: Sure. I was going to lease a car, and I was deciding between two different vehicles. I went to the first dealership, and the salesman walked up to me and asked if I was going to buy a car that day. I said yes, and he brought me into his office and started filling out an application. And I said, "You haven’t even let me tell you what color car I want, let alone the questions I want to ask you.” When I said I had some questions, he rolled his eyes. At that moment he lost a sale and didn’t realize that he had lost it because he had not built a relationship with me. I was uncomfortable because I had questions, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I asked him many questions, and he didn't change his attitude. It was not a favorable experience. When I went to the second dealership another gentleman came towards me, and he said something that changed everything. He told me that he knew buying a car is sometimes not a pleasant experience and he wanted to make it very pleasant. He asked, "What questions do you have and how can I help you?”
Monica: Why do you believe women are treated differently by salespersons and, in this case, by men? Judy: It’s not only by men sometimes women treat you differently as well. The problem that we faced for many years was that women in the work force were hired in administrative support positions. They weren't hired in more responsible positions. I’m not saying that being in an administrative support position is not professional and not admirable because it certainly is. It’s really hard to do because you’re helping to run an operation. At that point in time women were not hired in sales and, if they were, they were among a small number. For the first time in the United States women constitute about fifty percent of the workforce. If you don’t hire women, you’re cutting your chances of being successful by 50 percent. When I talk to people, I never say women are better “at this” or men are better “at this." I try to incorporate the differences that would make a powerful team and result in assets rather than liabilities. In the end there should be no reason to hire a man over a female. You shouldn't have to hire females to simply meet a quota, that's when the resentment comes in. Women have to work ten times as hard as men to be taken seriously. Monica: It’s still happening today. What gender-based talents do women have that can be used to enhance their ability to become successful salespersons? Judy: Building relationships. It’s in our DNA. Women like to belong; women like to build relationships. That’s the number one quality. Generally speaking, we are in a society that has morphed away from being transactional, which was the way men did business, into being more relational, which is the way women generally do business. September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 59
Extraordinary Profiles
The other thing is women have great instincts, and a lot of times we don’t follow our gut feelings. When I was selling, I would say “I don’t understand why you’re doing it this way. Why wouldn’t you want to build a relationship and get referrals?” I was told that I was being a girl and asked why I had to be friends with everyone and why I asked so many questions. In the nineties when I was beginning in insurance, we didn’t have computers, and we worked using the yellow pages. That’s where our leads were. We had to find ways to generate business. After about three or four months my business was conducted solely on referrals because I had built relationships. The person to whom I reported said, “It’s great that you have all these referrals. I don’t understand how you do it but we’re not going to use your system, because it’s not duplicable,” meaning it was not from a sales book. It’s not like you can sit down with someone and say, “First you say this and then you say this.” Building a relationship means asking the right questions and engaging in conversation. Monica: You discovered a new approach to sales that you are now using to help companies and business owners to apply successfully to their opera60 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Extraordinary Profiles
tions. What is your approach and how did you discover it? Judy: It was all survival because whatever company I was with, I was always in sales. I was in male-dominated industries, and I had no mentor. So you make it up as you go along. It was more trial and error. When things worked for me, I would try to incorporate them into the company I was with. I always told everybody to ask an open-ended question, start a dialogue and people will open up to you. Ask the right questions and listen. Do the process because if you ask all the questions and you get all the answers, then the close is a natural process. Over the years, I never sold anyone anything, but I was the number one producer because I employed a technique. I would see everyone. I never sold anything over the phone. Why, because if I couldn’t help them, I would refer them to someone else, or I would say I can’t help you now. I would get referrals from everybody, and I never wasted my time or anyone's time. If I couldn’t make it better for you, I didn’t show you anything else. If your plan was better, I would say “Stay where you are.” People would tell me you’re on straight commission; you just talked yourself out of a sale. I would say yes, because it’s not right for you. That’s how I live my life; you don’t hurt someone just to make a dollar. I would rather not make the money and keep them as a friend because they would refer me to someone else. I never had to worry about what I told somebody because it was always the truth. Monica: Do you believe that anyone can become an effective salesperson? Judy: Absolutely. The one thing you can’t teach anybody is to think on their feet. You either have it or you don’t. But you can definitely teach a person to sell. You can take someone who doesn't like people and make them a great salesperson because you’re teaching them how to build a relationship, how to ask questions and how to listen. That’s all sales is, but you have to believe in your product. If you have something that you don't believe in, you can’t be successful. Monica: Do think there’s a way to recover a lost sale? Judy: Yes. It depends on why you lost the sale. If you lost it because the person had no money, which is the
hardest objection to overcome, you could always ask, “What would it take? How could we work together?” If you lose a sale because someone doesn't like your product or they don’t like you, you have to go back and try to massage it a little bit. I always make sure that once I've made the sale, I service it. Once you make the sale, that’s just the beginning; that’s not the end. You have to remain in contact with the person going forward. So if someone loses a sale, maybe they didn’t follow up, they didn’t return the phone call, they didn’t answer a question. You can always go back in. Can you recover every sale? Absolutely not. Monica: If I’m a woman trying to sell to another female, is there a difference between that versus selling to a male? Judy: Men are more transactional, so remember that men like facts and figures, and features and benefits. When you’re talking to a man, generally you need to talk more in bullet points than in stories, because they want to get to the bottom line, whereas a woman needs to have you paint the picture with her in it. How is your product or service going to affect her and everybody in her family? If you’re buying a car, how does this affect her and will kids be riding in the car; do you use it for business…you have to paint that picture. When you put the person inside that picture, they become part of it. They see themselves in it; they see how it works for them. That’s just how women think. They think in pictures. Men usually want to know about features, how much does it cost and give me all the numbers. They need bullet points. Oftentimes, women are busy. They're trying to sell your service to a company and they don't have time to hear the stories. You have to take your cue from the person that you’re talking to because you may have to change that story and make it bullet points for a woman as well. Monica: Talk a little about your book, “Selling in A Skirt”. Judy: I started writing down different sales tips. I think if someone had told me this, it would have helped. In my book I talk about the things that would help a woman in sales, but there’s also a part that helps men. It discusses how to recruit, train and talk to women as well as how to retain them. There’s a lot of great information for men and women. September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 61
Extraordinary Profiles
Monica: You speak to people in corporations and other large groups. What type of feedback do you receive? Judy: I tell funny stories, and I provide information that they take away. Often they will say, “I can use this today. You just helped me, and now I can talk to my wife.” When I speak, it’s very light-hearted. It’s experiences that I’ve had that I use to make a point. People walk away with at least one point that they can use that day. Monica: I’m sure that one tidbit can make a world of difference. Judy: Absolutely. Monica: Generally speaking, what are some key elements to developing an effective sales strategy? Judy: It’s all about the kinds of questions that you ask. If you did nothing else to become successful, it’s the kinds of questions that you ask. Then to back that up, if you do nothing else, it’s the way you listen. There’s nothing else to sales. I don’t care what you sell; I don’t care how expensive it is. If you don’t ask the questions and you don’t listen, it doesn’t matter if you’re selling something for a penny or a million dollars, and it doesn’t matter how good a salesperson you are. If you don’t ask the right questions, you’re not going to succeed. That’s the simplest strategy I can give you. It’s all about asking questions. There are different types of questions and there are different ways of thinking about the questions that you ask, but it’s all about the questions. Monica: Would you recommend to anyone who is thinking of going into sales that they take a course or series of courses? Judy: I always think that you should invest in yourself. It doesn’t matter how seasoned you are. You should always invest in yourself because times have changed. When I first started in sales, there was no such thing as building a relationship. I did it because that’s what felt good to me. But honestly, anything that you learned back in the seventies or eighties, they’re really not incorporating anymore. There are fabulous trainers with really good information, but you have to take that information and rework it into a relational activity. I think that if you don’t take classes or some type of course ever so often you’re going to lose some of the more recent ideas. It’s just the sign of the times. If you can keep up with what’s going on in the world, you'll be okay, but it’s always 62 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
good to invest in yourself. I always tell people to get a business coach. If you can’t afford one, you can’t afford not to have one. They will keep you in line and keep you accountable. Monica: Is there anything else that you’d like to mention? Judy: A lot of people think that because the title of my book is “Selling in A Skirt,” that I only work with women. It’s not true. I definitely work with men, and a lot of times my audiences are 75% male. One of the things I always say is that women like to be treated equally, not identically. Treat them equally and everything will work out. If you take the differences, understand them and implement them, whether you're male or female, just imagine how powerful your team would be. It’s all about figuring out how to make these differences work. Monica: I would imagine a number of men listen to you speak because they are interested in gaining more female customers. This has been a pleasure because it has been very enlightening for me, and I wish you all the success in the world. Judy: I always make a bold promise. I promise you that your bottom line will go up when you incorporate what I tell you -- not if, but when. I should also tell you that no matter how many questions I ask, I always ask one last question and that is, “Is there anything else?” I will tell you that all the times I’ve trained men, once I asked that question they would cringe, because they would think oh, no, we’re in for another hour. I want to know everything up front. If I asked you is there anything else and you said yes and we continued our conversation and then I asked is there anything else, and you said no, then we’re ready to close. We’ve had our conversation and you’ve told me everything I need to know. The only thing left is to close. I would never have to say, “Now give me a check,” because they would say how do we do this? How do we get this going? So don’t be afraid to ask questions and don’t be afraid to ask that last question. With that said, women still have to be able to close because that’s the whole idea. You can’t just visit forever and never make a sale because that’s not a good thing either.
Extraordinary Profiles
Monica: Based on your experience, do you find that women have a hard time doing that? Judy: Not all women but some women really just want to be friends, and they forget that they're there for a reason. Monica: When you arrive at the point that you know it's time to close, is there a specific way you should ask for the sale? Judy: Well, you just say, “Now getting back to the cell phone program that we’re trying to put together for you, is there anything else that you need to know about it? Whatever the product or service is just go back and say, for example, “I believe I’ve answered all your questions, is there anything else you need to know about how it works?” Bring it right back to that product or service. It puts you back on track. Monica: Your advice is definitely sound advice.
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 63
Jacqueline Downey speaking at the Weaving Threads of Hope for Change event in September 2010.
Jacqueline Downey An Advocate for Childhood Obesity
Extraordinary Profiles
Childhood obesity -- it has become an epidemic in today’s society. That's what inspired Jacqueline Downey to become an advocate for children who are overweight. She founded ‘Those Picked Last’.
I used to sit in the stands when he was playing games, and I’m thinking don’t pick him last. I knew somebody had to be picked last, but he was picked last not because of his ability but because of the way he looked.
Through her foundation, Downey addresses the issues of childhood obesity. Through her personal experiences of raising an adopted child with obesity, she has garnered the support of political leaders, doctors, teachers and parents who share her enthusiasm for creating a solution to a nationwide problem.
He could hit a ball really hard but he couldn’t run very fast and even playing football, he could knock them down but he still was that big kid on the team. That’s the reason I named the foundation Those Picked Last, because I would sit there and pray, don’t pick him last or don’t let him be the last person to go in.
The foundation was created to inform, educate and unite parents, children, clinicians, as well as nutritionists, nurses, psychologists and others in open forums to discuss the overwhelming challenges of adolescent and childhood obesity. Her son, MacGregor has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show and has been the driving force behind the organization. Downey shared her passion with Exceptional People Magazine to make a difference in the lives of these children and their families. Monica: Those Picked Last is such a great name for your organization. How did the name come about? Jacqueline: My son’s name is MacGregor and I named the foundation after him because even as a child growing up, he was a heavy kid and he was always picked last.
That name emphasized how I felt the whole time he was growing up. I’m probably one of those mothers who have a child with a disease and you become a one-person lobbyist. I had to find the right treatment for my son and I was on a mission from the time we realized he started gaining weight around six years. By fourth grade he had a thirty-six inch waist. We just couldn’t figure it out. It wasn’t because of his eating habits because he was still a very active child. I cooked at least three to five days a week and we didn’t eat out a lot. He played all types of sports but his metabolism was so slow he began to get bigger and bigger. I tried so many things, including going to the pediatrician, diets and different programs for children within our city. Nothing was working, but I knew it was something biological or genetic. Because Macgregor was adopted, I didn’t have a gauge to determine why he was gaining weight. It was very frustrating.
Monica: What did you learn from that and how did you eventually get him on the right track? Jacqueline: I started researching online different programs for childhood obesity. I took him to an endocrinologist first to have blood work done. I saw that he was becoming an unhealthy kid. He was becoming so large that it could not be healthy on a small heart because he was still growing. The endocrinologist told me not to worry, but I did continue to worry and I also continued to research. In fact my endocrinologist told me I was too arrogant to believe that I was doing something wrong. I wasn’t doing anything wrong because I was cooking and doing all the things I should have been doing. I eventually found something online at the National Institute of Health (NIH). They were doing a study of childhood obesity. We got him into the study at NIH in Bethesda, Maryland for ten days. They did all the research for those ten days. They found that he may have had Cushion’s syndrome where he has a low metabolism and everything that he eats cushions the fat cells. So we worked with that. The next summer we sent him to fat camp and he lost 57 pounds. He looked great and went to school in the fall. By Saint Patrick’s Day he had gained the 57 pounds back and gained twelve more. Monica: At the camp what did they do differently?
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 65
Extraordinary Profiles
Jacqueline: He was put on an 1800 calorie diet and they made sure that the kids were constantly moving. It’s not how the real works but it’s a good boost if you can keep it up. I was frustrated, my son was frustrated and my husband and I saw the lights beginning to go out in his eyes. We kept returning to his pediatrician and finally she told us about a trial study at the University of Illinois called Project Hope. It was for Illinois residents only but I pleaded and even visited them to inform them about my son. The program was free to Illinois residents. They accepted him into the program but I had to pay, and I was more than happy to pay the $25,000 just to have him in the study. That cost did not include travel back
and forth to Chicago every month for over two years. The program worked for our son. The treatment for the trial study was a gastric band for children under 18 years and it worked for MacGregor. Before that he was very frustrated that nothing had worked up to that point. Monica: During this entire process when you were trying different things, how did it affect him emotionally? Jacqueline: Emotionally, as I mentioned earlier, we started seeing the lights go out in his eyes. He started becoming the class clown. We later found out when we talked to him --
The Downey family at an Affair of the Heart. 66 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
he’s 20 now -- he said, “I wanted to get the joke in before somebody else did.” So he became that fat kid who acts up in school. His grades started to suffer and kids began to pick on him. At football games I would hear parents say, “Who is that big kid?” It was hurtful for us to hear those things. Monica: Not every obese child has the particular problem that was discovered with MacGregor. For a lot of kids who are overweight, it is simply a food problem. Based on what you went through what is your overall perspective and thoughts on childhood obesity? Jacqueline: Well, it's not just a food problem; some of it can be biological. It’s not that kids overeat and don't
Extraordinary Profiles
exercise. There are behaviors that cause obesity. My son was on the morbidly obese side. If you put all of those things together even if you exercise and eat right as an adult, you don’t always lose weight. Some of it is genetic. In our case we were eating healthy and he was exercising but he still wasn’t losing the weight. With Project Hope, we had the gastric band put on and within nine months he lost 176 pounds. He was 360 pounds. Now he thinks he’s a chick magnet. He is emotionally healthy. The one thing I liked about Project Hope is that it has several components: nutrition, physical therapy, and it had a regular doctor but the most important part was the psychological component. Monica: What is the main purpose or mission of Those Picked Last? Jacqueline: I created it to bring together parents and children, clinicians, educators, politicians and businesses. I believe all of those groups have an interest in combating this disease. I try to bring them all to the table to discuss how we can help each other. Monica: How are you bringing these people together? Jacqueline: We bring them together through conferences. I’m currently working on a piece for continuing medical education (CME) for doctors where they will conduct a CME session to talk to parents about their child’s obesity.
Monica: What are some very basic principles that parents can apply everyday to reduce the problem of childhood obesity? Jacqueline: When I talk to parents, I talk about real things in their homes. For example, instead of buying potato chips and having a lot of unhealthy snacks around, starting on Friday evening put together small packets or baggies of celery, carrots, cauliflower, so when children go to the refrigerator, they're already prepared. If the children are playing video games, tell them they can play for 45 minutes, but they have to go out and walk, do some chores or just get some exercise for the next fifteen to twenty five minutes.
Jacqueline: It was very good for him. That’s what gave us our voice to speak to other people. It really made a difference with regard to his social life. He was always a happy kid but this really increased it ten-fold after we started to speak with psychologists more because for a while he had a mean streak. Kids treated him so mean that he was treating people differently. We had to talk him through it. Oprah was very generous to our son, and we really appreciated that. They still keep in contact with us maybe one or twice a year to see how he’s doing. He’s in culinary school and will graduate in the winter of this year.
Monica: There are many areas and cities in this country where fresh, healthy foods are not available or they are too expensive for residents to afford. Mostly, what’s left are foods that are unhealthy, fast foods and prepackaged foods that contain a lot of fat and sodium. Does your foundation address such issues?
He’s kept the weight off, he exercises and he knows how to use the band as a tool. His mannerism and everything have changed. One thing I emphasize about treatment is that it’s just a tool. It’s not a fix-all. My son became a better person all around. Not only is he physically healthy but he is emotionally happy too.
Jacqueline: When I talk to parents I often tell them to start easy. Buy apples at first. Cut up apples and give them peanut butter. It’s hard to make changes right away. Try introducing healthy foods little by little. You can’t drastically change your diet right away. I encourage them to make better choices.
Monica: Based on the mission of your organization, how do you measure the results that you get?
Monica: Your son appeared on Oprah. What was that experience like?
Jacqueline: How I measure results is based on how many parents we talk to and the follow-up that we do. I also measure it by how many people attend the conferences, the follow-ups that we get, how many doctors contact us and how many parents contact us, as well as the number of schools we go to and the information that we are delivering to them. This year we will have another gauge where we’re
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 67
Extraordinary Profiles
going to start doing Body Mass Index (BMI) for schools. We will have a better measurement of how weight changes in children at certain ages. Monica: Since starting the foundation, how has it changed your life personally? Jacqueline: Financially my husband and I started from our own pockets. It has made me more sensitive to the things mothers go through. Fortunately, we were financially stable to help our child, and we had the educational background to do it. It has made me more sensitive to the needs of mothers who don’t have the time to do some of the things that I have done. It has opened up avenues to be able to talk to people. Even my son speaks about being healthy. We help all children. It’s not a race or economic status issue. Monica: How can other people help you? Jacqueline: We have fundraisers and we always need volunteers, but we also accept contributions through our website at: www.thosepickedlast.org.
Robert Downey and MacGregor Downey. 68 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Inspiration
Believe and have faith in your ability to succeed at any endeavor.
Inspiration
At my
youngest daughter’s birthday party, surrounded by 15 four-and five-year old little boys and girls, we served a giraffe-shaped cake and vanilla ice cream. After we sang the “Happy Birthday” song, my daughter beamed as she blew out her candles. Then, I started to slice the first piece of cake. Enthusiastically, my daughter looked up at me with a broad smile and asked, “Mommy, can I have the biggest piece of cake and the biggest scoop of ice cream?”
and moreover, we have to be alert as to what we are saying about our circumstances. What words are you speaking over your situations? Are you using your words to bless others? Whatever we send out, by our thoughts, our words, deeds and actions, like a boomerang, will come back around to us. So regardless of what’s going on around us now, let us continually affirm that we have good health, love and harmony
The Words You Speak are Like a Miraculous Wand By Catherine Galasso-Vigorito
I looked around the table and made eye contact with the children waiting patiently for their dessert. And I put my arm around my daughter’s shoulder, drawing her close to my side, and answered, “Oh, honey, that’s not a polite question to ask, because all the children would like the biggest piece of cake and the biggest scoop of ice cream.” Without hesitation, my daughter keenly replied, asking, “Well, Mama, if I don’t say what I want, how can I get it?” I planted a kiss on the top of her head, and I had to chuckle. For in life, we must express what we yearn for, voicing aloud our heart’s desire, and as with my delightful daughter, saying what we would like. Our words are filled with power. The words that we speak are like a wand that can allow us to alter conditions one way…or the other way. In the Bible, I read where it says: “Thou shalt also decree a thing and it shall be established unto thee and light shall shine upon your ways.” Job 22:28. This tells me that when we absolutely believe, and speak in positive terms, the desires of our heart, like a fountain bursting with water, will spring into being. We all have days of challenges and frustrations. Situations may be taking a long time to work themselves out; we might have faced rejections or setbacks. And perhaps we’ve been unfairly treated. But during the difficult times of life, we must be extremely careful about how we think, 70 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
in our homes and success in our future. Let’s declare that our family and friends are blessed, and that our needs will be abundantly met. Believe and do not doubt. For whatever we say, we can begin to attract towards us. Thus, go into a quiet place, sit down, close your eyes and for a few minutes each day affirm repeatedly phrases such as: “God is guiding my steps.” “New opportunities are strewn across my path.” “Something great is going to happen today.” “One door may have closed, but a better one is opening.” “Joy is overflowing from me onto others.” “I give thanks to God for my ever increasing good health.” Erase all thoughts of negativity and acknowledge ‘the positive’ at every possible moment. And carry a vision of good things coming to pass, being filled with divine expectancy. I’ve heard it said, “All things are visualized in the unseen before they are revealed in the seen.” For when we ponder upon the good, and speak optimistically, expecting positive results, it can bring such thoughts and words to manifestation. I once heard a minister tell a story about a woman who had a dream. That evening, in her dream, an angel escorted her to heaven. There, she was taken to an exquisite mansion. When the woman walked into the foyer, she noticed that the house was filled with doors. To the right and to the left, there were doors everywhere. Curiously, the woman asked the angel, “What are all those doors?”
Inspiration
The angel replied, “Let’s open them and find out.” First, they opened the door to their right, and inside there was ‘a great idea’ that would have more than replaced the job the woman had, years before, lost. “But,” the angel uttered to the woman, “You held on to negative thoughts, believing that nothing good would ever happen to you again.” Within the next door was ‘a wonderful new friendship.’ “However,” the angel explained, “Because someone betrayed you long ago, you became so bitter and discouraged that you stopped expecting great things for your future.”
The more you understand … “There is one purpose to life and one only: to bear witness to and understand as much as possible of the complexity of the world - its beauty, its mysteries, its riddles.
The following door contained ‘a golden opportunity.’ “Yet,” the angel described, “Due to past setbacks, you said it was, ‘too late’ and you were ‘not talented enough’ to pursue and accomplish new dreams.”
The more you understand, the more you look, the greater is your enjoyment of life and your sense of peace.
In her dream, the woman was so full of doubts and fears, that she missed out on forthcoming joys, blessings and opportunities, which were symbolized by the doors.
That's all there is to it. If an activity is not grounded in "to love" or "to learn," it does not have value.”
Dear readers; boldly go forth, reaching out to all God intends for you to receive. Dare to trust Him, believe in your ability to succeed, and continually speak words of victory over your life. God has an extraordinary future waiting for you.
Anne Rice
“To dream anything that you want to dream, that is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do, that is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself, to test your limits, that is the courage to succeed.” Bernard Edmonds
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 71
Inspiration
Do You Avoid Failure Like the Plague? By Dr. Margaret Paul
What are you sacrificing by focusing on avoiding mistakes and failure, rather than on learning and growth? Fun? Joy? Love? Success? "You may have a fresh start at any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."--Mary Pickford, 1893-1979, Actress and producer. There are two kinds of people: those who focus on avoiding failure, and those who focus on learning and growth. Dr. Carol Dweck, in "Mindset", one of my favorite books, names these two ways of approaching life "the fixed mindset" and "the growth mindset." In Inner Bonding速, we call it "the intent to protect" and "the intent to learn." In my personal experience, we cannot learn and grow when we are focused on protecting against mistakes and failure. When we have the false belief that mistakes and failure define us, rather than that mistakes and failure are stepping-stones to success, then we continually limit our learning and growth to avoid making mistakes and failing. This is dramatically exemplified by an example in Dr. Dweck's book. She tells the story of George Danzig, a graduate math student at Berkeley, who, as usual, was late for class. On the board were two math problems, and this young man, having missed the explanation, assumed they were the homework. When he tried to do them, he discovered that they were REALLY REALLY hard. Rather than get discouraged and quit, which a person with a fixed mindset would do, i.e., a person with the intent to protect against failure - he got down to work and within a few days he solved the problems. When he next came into class, he discovered that these problems were NOT homework - they were famous ex-
72 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
amples of two problems that had never been solved! This young man had a growth mindset - the intent to learn - and loved the challenge! For people like George Danzig, failure is not a blip on his screen. His thinking is not about protecting against failure, but about the challenge of learning. How Would Your Life Change? What would happen in your life if you made it okay to make mistakes and to fail? What would you do differently in your life if you let go of seeing failure as something bad, and instead decided to see it as just a part of learning and growing? The truth is that there is no way to move toward being all you came here to be without mistakes and failures along the way. How would you learn what you are capable of if you allow failure to stop you? What would happen in your life if you stopped telling yourself that if you fail at something then you ARE a failure? Right now, in this very moment, are you willing to redefine failure? Are you willing to define failure as part of learning rather than a definition of your worth or your intelligence? Are you willing to see mistakes and failure as just part of the learning we all need to do as we move ourselves toward growth and success? When you make it okay to make mistakes and to fail, then you are free to try new things, to experiment, and to feel the joy and excitement of new learning and growth. You have the freedom and the right, RIGHT NOW IN THIS VERY MOMENT, to take the "badness" off failure and see it as just a part of learning and of success. How wonderful would you feel right now if you decided that it is okay to make mistakes and to fail? How free would you feel if you accepted that we all fail at times as we open ourselves to learning new and exciting things? Try it! Now!
Diana Epstein Giving the Gift of Sight to Thousands
See
for
Change
Inspiration
Diana Epstein is a young woman who is passionate about helping the less fortunate. She involved her community in a project that she developed called See for Change to make a difference in the lives of the visually impaired. Through her efforts and with the help of her community, See for Change raised over $6,000 and collected 5,000 pairs of glasses last year for New Eyes for the Needy, a non-profit organization
Change has personal meaning for Epstein. She was born with double cataracts, and had them removed at the age of four. “My life would have been very different had I not had a family that was able to afford surgery. Here was an opportunity to take something on to help a community I have always wanted to help but didn’t know how. I want to help those that cannot afford the luxury of glasses, to allow them to live active and productive lives,” Epstein states. This is just the beginning for Epstein. Her goal is to raise more money and collect thousands more pairs of eye glasses, so that those who are visually impaired can receive the gift of clear vision. Exceptional People Magazine was thrilled to speak with Epstein about her new-found endeavor and how she is using it to change lives. Monica: Would you mind discussing your childhood experience and the fact that you were born with double cataracts?
that was founded in 1932, by Julia Lawrence Terry. New Eyes for the Needy is committed to providing eyeglasses to needy children and adults across the United States, as well as developing countries around the world. While working as a volunteer at the Red Cross food depot during the Depression, Terry was inspired to start the program. She realized that many of the applicants had impaired vision, and she began collecting used eyeglasses. Many of them had gold rims, and she quickly realized that the metal could be a source of revenue to help pay for new glasses. Thus, New Eyes for the Needy was born. As the brainchild behind See for Change, Epstein is proud to support New Eyes for the Needy. See for 74 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Diana: Sure. I was born with double cataracts, and I had them removed when I was four years old. They waited until then so that my eyes could develop. One of the things I remember while coming back from the hospital with my mom is looking across the street and telling her, “Mommy there’s a house across the street.” I literally had no idea what my neighborhood looked like and what things looked like from a distance. I wore glasses for most of my young life up until I was about twelve years old. I was nervous about contact lenses. I always sat in the front of the class. It definitely didn’t do much for my social life, wearing glasses as thick as they were. People took a lot of jabs at me and it was really tough to fit in. I attended an all girls' school. The girls were very catty, and I obviously stood out. When I was about thirteen, I made the decision that I would start wearing contact lenses. From then until now I wear
Inspiration
contact lenses. I have struggled with vision my entire life, and I had to take the visual portion of the driver’s exam three times. Since I didn’t like my job, I decided to make a change. I attended the Landmark Seminars Program and in the final class you take on a community project focused on providing services to the community. I always felt connected to those who were visually impaired, and I wanted to make a difference but wasn’t sure how. I decided to take on a party, a charity event or fundraiser to raise awareness for the organization that I found through doing research. New Eyes for the Needy has existed since 1932. The organization has been around much longer than most other organizations, and they were local to the area in New York where I was living at the time.
efforts because of potential time constraints in working with large numbers of individuals. As it got closer to the time of my fundraising event, I created and printed flyers, which I updated with emails. I invited people to a party and they were floored. I had obtained 5,000 pairs of glasses through corporate donations and individual contributions. There were a number of young people, family members, and young professionals at the event, and they were really surprised by my passion.
In my opinion, it's great to have a local organization where people can give back. I took on a fundraiser, which I had never done before. If I only raised two hundred dollars, it would be two hundred dollars more than the organization had. Monica: What is the mission or purpose of New Eyes for the Needy? Diana: The purpose is to have people purchase glasses for those who can’t afford to purchase them on their own, so $60 will go to help someone purchase eyeglasses. Typically eyeglasses cost about $250 per pair, so for people who are at the poverty level, having to purchase a new pair of glasses can be a burden. So the organization provides regular glasses and sunglasses to people in this country and people in third world countries who don't have access to appropriate eye care. Monica: How receptive were people to your idea of doing the fundraiser for See for Change? Diana: There seem to be a lot of people who want to make a difference but they aren’t sure where to put their
This year there was a 180 degree difference. New Eyes for the Needy was active in the planning process. They had the board members help raise money and items for the auction. An advisory board was created and I'm a member along with young professionals who want to become a part of the organization and make an impact. The advisory board discusses issues that pertain to New Eyes for the Needy, including how to get new members. All of that came from See for Change. Monica: Based on that, what type of feedback are you getting from the younger generation? Diana: People are surprised that someone my age has been able to do what I did. People in their twenties are doing this. They never knew that an organization like this existed, and they didn’t realize how fun charity events can be September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 75
Inspiration
and how easy it is. Tickets were $25 dollars because I wanted to make it accessible for young people and let them know that it doesn’t take a $100 dinner to give back. It doesn’t take a lot of energy and time to make a difference. It can be easy and fun. It’s a great feeling to know that people are excited about it and willing to help. Monica: To date how much money have you raised for New Eyes for the Needy? Diana: To date it’s probably around $21,000 in the last year. The final numbers are not in yet. We’ve acquired 8,400 pairs of glasses. By the time I am 30, I will have done six of these events and that makes me feel proud. The goal is to expand to large cities and create more outreach to young people so we can connect with that generation. Monica: What would your advice be for other young people about becoming involved in their communities? Diana: It would be to build a plan and share with people, so that they can participate. Don’t limit yourself, set high goals and take on something you’ve never done before. Even if you think that you’ve failed, you would have done something that you’ve never done. That changes you as a person, and it changes you in the eyes of everyone else in the community. Monica: What are your future plans for See for Change? Diana: I would love to have See for Change continue to grow. We raised twice the amount of money this year than we did last year. If that exponential growth continues, that would be wonderful. I’d like to increase the amount of awareness about See for Change, to bring more people to the events, tap into new networks and educate people about the organization. 76 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Monica: Besides donating glasses, how can others help you further your mission? Diana: If they want to become involved and they are on the East Coast or in other parts of the country, they can email me at see4change@gmail.com. We can discuss how they could possibly conduct a drive in their area, or they could participate by researching venues or obtaining items for auction. There are so many aspects to See for Change where we could use help. If people are interested that would be wonderful.
Inspiration
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 77
Tim Halperin Sings the In the Key of Life
Tim Halperin – a young man, musically talented, with a heart of gold. Learning to play the piano at the age six was probably an indication that he would someday become a musician and performer. Who would have guessed that he would become a top contender on American Idol? His spiritual background and upbringing helped him excel on the show. Maybe the signs were already there. As a young child, Halperin's musical roots began in church, and since that time he has been writing music and performing in various bands, including a worship team at his church. By the time he enrolled in Texas Christian University (TCU), he had established a solid foundation as a musician. Halperin was
78 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
ready to present his talents as a singer and songwriter, and he hit the airwaves with his single “You Are the Moon” in 2008. He hasn’t looked back. His music has also been featured on national television. There’s more to Halperin than a great voice and musical talents. He is passionate about helping and inspiring others, and his fans appreciate his kindness. He recently partnered with the Susan G. Komen Foundation as a part of Texas Christian University’s “Frogs for the Cure” initiative to increase breast cancer awareness and raise funds for breast cancer research. The inspirational song he wrote for the occasion, “We Fight Back,” touched the hearts of breast cancer survivors around the country. With his unique style, unmistakable voice and generosity, Halperin is destined for great success. He spoke about life, big dreams and his experience on American Idol with Exceptional People Magazine. Monica: Your musical career began in the church. How are you using that spiritual foundation? How has that carried over to the type of music that you sing today as well as your life overall? Tim: That’s a great question. It’s funny you ask because I just came up with a title for my full length album and it’s going to be called “Rise and Fall.” I thought about that phrase; it came to my mind because I felt like in the past couple of years, my life has
Inspiration
ever it may be. No matter what, my faith is a big part of my life. Monica: That's great because it offers you a solid foundation in which to be able to deal with circumstances as they arise. Tim: Yes. Absolutely. There were several times on American Idol where I was thankful that I could keep everything in perspective. Monica: What do you believe is your purpose in life as a musician?
been cyclical in nature in many different aspects. There’s been the relational side of things and there’s also been American Idol. The thing about a cycle and the ups and downs is what is at the center of your life and keeping you together, and for me that would be my faith. I’ve had to lean on it quite a bit in the past year just going through some of the events I had to go through. My faith is what keeps me going. My music is taken from inspiration and daily life. That can sometimes incorporate my faith and sometimes it’s just the struggles of daily life, the victories or what-
Tim: That’s another great question. My purpose as a musician is to connect with people through music, and I think that music connects with the human spirit in an emotional way that’s unlike anything else. I hope my songs and my music can connect with people on that level and allow them to process what’s going on in their lives, or think about things differently, or help them through something. That’s why I play music. That’s my love, my passion. Monica: You mentioned that you were on American Idol and you had to audition for it. What was the experience like going through that process? Tim: It was interesting. For me it was quite different than the typical American Idol experience. This was the first year they did Myspace auditions. So actually I auditioned on my webcam and I was called to Los Angeles for call-back auditions. I had a couple of call-back rounds before making it to the judges. I remember the most stressful time was the first callback; I was literally dead last to go before the judges. I watched about 100 people emerge from their auditions either crying or cheering. Finally after eight hours I had my audition. So you can imagine my nerves were on end at that point, but I made it through that round and then to Hollywood and sort of through the rest of the competition. It was a great experience. Monica: Once you were on American Idol and you had the opportunity to perform several times, what did that experience teach you about persevering, having the determination to win and taking advantage of an opportunity that is presented to you? September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 79
Inspiration
Tim: It was an interesting environment. People think the contestants can be very cutthroat or competitive but that’s not really the case. I was very fortunate to have support, not only from fellow contestants but also from a lot of people at home. I think the toughest thing as a people pleaser, I want everyone to love my style and what I’m doing, but when you perform in front of such a large audience you can’t have everybody love you. That was a hard lesson to learn. What I eventually learned from the entire process was to be myself, to be okay with that and to do my best. That’s all I could do and I’d have to live with myself at the end of each day. I felt I did that to the best of my ability. When I left the American Idol stage, I didn’t have any regrets and it was a good experience. Monica: Has it helped to propel your music career in any way? Tim: Absolutely. When you’re on a show in front of 26 million people every week, that gives you a lot of free promotion and momentum. So it’s definitely given me a huge boost in my career. The tough part has been capitalizing on it and using that momentum and keeping it going until I put out my CD. Monica: Many singers, recording artists and other musicians get into the music industry without learning about the business part of music. How important is it to learn about the business side of music? Tim: It’s hugely important to learn the business of the music industry. If you aren’t looking out for your interests, it’s very easy to be taken advantage of. I would definitely tell anybody who is considering a career in the music industry talk to someone who has been in the industry, someone you respect and trust. Learn the things you need to know before diving head-first into the industry, because unfortunately there are a lot of people who would love to take advantage of talent in the industry. Monica: What do you believe are some of the basic elements a person should know before signing a contract? Tim: I think the most important thing you need to know or do before signing any contract is have a lawyer look it over. A lot of times lawyers will do that 80 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
for free, if it’s not a huge contract or needs editing. They know the benefit to them is that if you continue to have contracts that will mean money for them. They know you will call on them. It’s important to establish a relationship with an entertainment lawyer. Also, it’s just being careful. As artists, we fall into this and a lot of times we don’t care about money. We just care about having a song that people love and want to listen to, and we’ll sign something if we’re told that it's going to get us there. The spoken word is one thing but a legally binding contract is another thing.
Inspiration
Monica: Is there a specific message that you try to get across through your music? Tim: I would say there are several messages, but I think the key thing is that when I write a song, a lot of times it’s about something in my own life. When I’ve had a chance to process it and think about it for a while, then I sit down and write a song. It’s almost like being able to finally put all that emotion down on paper and get it out of my system. If someone else is feeling it and connects to the song, that’s my goal.
Monica: You have used your musical talents and abilities to give back to others, specifically the Susan G. Komen Foundation. What makes the cause for curing breast cancer special to you? Tim: That’s a really good question. I was fortunate enough to have a mentor during the time I attended TCU in Forth Worth, Texas. I had a mentor by the name of Ann Lowden. While at TCU she began battling breast cancer and she has been fortunate enough to beat it for now. Of course it’s never completely gone but she’s in remission and she has been for five years now. Last year she called me and said we’re doing a video. Every year TCU does something called “Frogs for the Cure” that benefits Komen and it culminates with the home football game where people dress in pink at halftime. They give a tribute to breast cancer survivors. She said to me, “This year we want to do a video for the half-time show and we want to put it to a song. We want to know if you had a song we could use.” I talked to my producer and we decided to write a song for the cause. I received a list of words from breast cancer survivors. These were words they thought of when they thought of their battle with breast cancer. I took those words and put them directly into the lyrics, used them as inspiration and wrote the song and called it “We
Fight Back.” TCU used it for their video. Komen actually loved it, nationally adopted it and I’m now a Komen partner. “We Fight Back” is now Komen’s theme song. It’s been tremendous to become a part of that community. The amount of passion and courage is incredible. It’s such a privilege to be in front of survivors and playing a song to them that was inspired by them. Monica: What message would you like to pass on to your fans?
Tim: The message that I want to pass on to people is number one, do something that you’re passionate about. Number two is the sense of caring about others and giving back with whatever you have or whatever success you may have. We’re all in this together. That’s what I’m about in my music and my daily life. Monica: Who is Tim Halperin, the person behind the music? Tim: He’s a 24 year old man with a chin strapped beard and drinks a lot of Starbucks coffee. I like to think that I am a very friendly outgoing person. At concerts if people recognize me from American Idol or recognize my music and want to talk to me, I’ll take the time to talk to them. I manage all of my email, Facebook and Twitter. I respond to as many people as I can. I’m a post-college kid trying to find his way in the world and I love connecting with people while doing it. Monica: What were some projects that you were working on prior to American Idol? Tim: Prior to American Idol I was at TCU pursuing the singer/songwriter career. So I had recorded a couple of short CDs before that. I’d had been grinding it out as an independent artist. I’m fortunate to have a little more help now. I would pack up my two-door ’95 Oldsmobile and September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 81
Inspiration
drive around to different cities in Texas, play shows for small crowds. I did a sorority tour and drove to several campuses, played at different sorority houses and handed out free CDs and tried to get people out to the shows. I was trying to make it as an artist and I’m still working on it with a little more momentum behind me.
being wealthy just for the sake of being wealthy. My focus is helping people and passing my blessings on to them. Whatever you have, you can always share with someone else.
I grew up in Omaha, Nebraska. I have those Midwestern values and I am fortunate to have a great family and very supportive parents. I’ve had a lot of love and a lot of support and I feel very fortunate. I have a college degree too and I’m just trying to be a musician.
Monica: Talk about your upcoming CD.
Monica: A lot of love and support is what you need to be successful. Tim: Absolutely. It’s so encouraging. I’ve done a lot of work with kids, helping them figure out what their goal is with music. It’s great to meet parents who are supportive. It's hard to meet parents who not are supportive, but it’s very important to get the message across to kids that they are doing something very valuable and they can be creative and accomplish their dreams. Monica: What is your overall view of life? Tim: Man. We’re getting very deep here Monica. Maybe we ought to go on a date after this. It’s funny. I was reading a story the other day that talked about something that related to a parable. It talked about a man who walks into an art museum and starts taking the paintings off the walls. He puts them under his arm and the security guard tells him you can’t leave here with them. And the guy said, “I just want to carry them around”, and of course when he leaves, he has to give the artwork back. The point is, in this life you can spend your time trying to accumulate material things and wealth. It’s great, there’s nothing wrong with it, but in the end you leave with what you came with, and that’s nothing. My goal is to try to do something that means something to me. I need money to make ends meet, but my view of life is to be passionate about something and to help others in the process. What is your view of life, Monica? Monica: I love giving back. I love helping people achieve their dreams and their goals and seeing them grow. I am not interested in making a lot of money and 82 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Tim: Totally. That’s awesome.
Tim: I am beyond excited and anxious to get the material out. I started recording it a year ago in August of 2010. These are songs that I’ve written over the past two years, and it really is just the last two years of my life and eleven songs put onto a record. Each song is really significant to me. It has a mix of songs in terms of tempos and feeling and genres. Each song has its own character and personality and each song is very real. Monica: Will it be available in stores? How can people purchase it? Tim: It’s going to be a very critical moment in my career. It’s going to dictate the next couple of years of my life and set a course for me. I’m only going to have it on iTunes for the first month because my goal is to get on the singer/ songwriters chart for iTunes, which is a big goal. I’m not typically one to ask something of people or my fans, but it is the one time that I will ask if you like my music and you want to support me; you can buy this album on iTunes. It will mean the world to me because my goal is to sell 2,000 copies in the first week. If I can do that, I’ll be on the singer/songwriter chart on iTunes. I’ll be on the road in November and December to support the album.
The Lighter Side
Lighter Side
Sometimes Fall Leaves Much to Be Desired by Angie Brennan Picture this: you’re sitting on the deck, sipping a steaming cup of coffee. It’s cool, crisp autumn morning. All around you leaves waft down, creating a brilliant carpet of red, orange, and yellow. Ah…life doesn’t get better than that. At least if someone else is doing the raking. We moved to Maryland about ten years ago from Houston, Texas. Yes, that Houston—where spring, summer, fall, and winter are called Hot, Indescribably Hot, Not Safe to Go Outside Yet, and OK to Turn Off the A/C for a Few Weeks. Heard the one about the Houstonian who fell ill one summer? He tossed and turned in feverish delirium for many weeks. One day he opened his eyes, gazing in astonishment at the unfamiliar surroundings. The air felt strangely dry and cool compared to the sweltering humidity of the room where he had languished for so long. “Heaven!” he suddenly cried, “I made it to Heaven!” Hearing the delighted man request a sweater, a frowning Satan turned to one of the demons stoking up the hellish flames and muttered, “We need to stop taking these people from Houston.”
The following year we had a new addition to our family—a healthy young mortgage. Now that we were proud homeowners, the growing mounds of leaves in our yard could no longer be ignored. But, hey, where else would a person want to be during the fall but outside? And what a great way to get exercise and be productive! When the next fall rolled around I began to wish for a little less productivity. Not that I was complaining, mind you. I just found it oddly interesting that a tree could apparently drop ten times the number of leaves that were originally hanging from its branches. Eventually the anticipation of cool weather and the dread of raking hit equilibrium. Last year we returned home from an early fall vacation to see that some leaves had already began collecting in the front yard. Did I smile as I thought of the approaching autumn and its brief but glorious color display? Did I picture with happy contentment donning my favorite sweater and stepping outside on that cool, crisp morning mentioned I mentioned earlier? Guess again. “Oh, no,” I grumbled, “has that started already?”
Colorful fall foliage? Not in Houston. The only orange you’re likely to see along the highways is from the jumpsuits of convicts on litter-collection detail. You can imagine my delight during that first glorious Maryland fall. We were renting a house that year, so I didn’t worry a great deal about fall-related homeowner tasks like raking leaves or cleaning out gutters.
A long-time mid-Atlantic resident eventually introduced us to his philosophy of raking leaves: let them alone until early spring, then gather whatever hasn’t blown into the neighbors’ yards. Works for me. Just don’t tell my neighbors I said that. They’ll figure it out soon enough.
The Lighter Side: Actual headlines seen in newspapers: 1. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge 2. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge 3. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire 4. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees 5. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 6. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies 7. Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni 8. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked By Board 84 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Lighter Side
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 85
Lighter Side
Baked Fish with Mushrooms By now almost everyone knows that the omega-3 fatty acids in fish protect the heart by lowering cholesterol. There's more to it than that. Several studies show that fish that are fried or coated with batter and French fried, do not protect the heart. Instead, they tend to decrease heart health by increasing cholesterol levels. Part of the problem with fish sticks and French fried fish could be the type of fish that is usually used. They are predominantly made from white fish or cod, which have very low levels of omega-3s. Researchers at Harvard Medical School studied ultrasound images of the hearts of 5,000 men and women. Subjects also filled out a questionnaire about their diets. After allowing for other factors that are known to affect the heart, researchers found that those who regularly ate fried fish and fish sandwiches showed greater signs of heart and blood vessel disease. Study participants who frequently ate broiled or baked fish had lower heart rates, lower blood pressure, and better blood flow to the heart.
If frozen, thaw 1 pound of fish fillets or steaks, cut 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick. Cook 1 cup of sliced fresh mushrooms, 1/2 cup sliced green onion, and 1/4 teaspoon dried tarragon, crushed, in 2 tablespoons margarine or butter until tender. Spoon over fish and sprinkle with paprika. Cover and bake in oven at 450 degrees for 6 to 10 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork. Serves 4. 86 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Profile Resources Part One Tom Ziglar, Pg. 4, Leading the Ziglar Empire Into the Future http://www.ziglar.com/ Bev Smith, Pg. 16, The Queen of Talk Radio http://www.bevsmithtalks.com/ Carlene Altom, Pg. 22, Helping Medical Practices Thrive with Integrity and Values http://www.facebook.com/coremso Dawn McCoy, Pg. 30, Transforms Ordinary People into Extraordinary Leaders http://flourishleadership.com/ Andrew Colsky, Pg. 36, Entrepreneur Turns His Love for Animals into a Successful Business http://www.k9cakery.com/ Al Cole , Pg. 46, Inspires His Fans To Rekindle the Romance in Their Relationships http://alcoleradioromance.com/ Cover Photo Credits Zig Ziglar and Tom Ziglar —Pg. 4, Kevin Brown, www.kevinbrownphoto.com Other Photo Credits Carlene Altom, Pg. 22, Shooting Starr Photography, http://shootingstarrphotos.com
Part Two Judy Hoberman, Pg. 58, Sales Genie Out of the Bottle http://sellinginaskirt.com/ Jacqueline Downey, Pg. 64, An Advocate for Childhood Obesity http://www.thosepickedlast.org/ Diana Epstein, Pg. 73, Giving the Gift of Sight to Thousands, see4change@gmail.com Tim Halperin, Pg. 78, Sings in the Key of Life http://www.timhalperin.com/Tim_Halperin_website/Tims_Landing_Page.html Cover Photo Credits Judy Hoberman, Pg. 58, all photos—Cindi Smith, Creative Photography by Cindi, http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cindi-smith/1b/276/959 Monica Davis, Pg. 2 and back cover, Ever After Visuals—http://everaftervisuals.com Additional Credits Graphics: Jeff Hayes, http://www.plasmafiregraphics.com
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 87
Writers and Contributors
William R. Patterson
Annemarie Cross
Ranked as the #1 Business Motivational Speaker by Ranking.com, William R. Patterson is a three-time award-winning lecturer and international bestselling author who uses his trademark approach, THE BARON SOLUTION™, to coach, train, and motivate business leaders, sales professionals, entrepreneurs, and investors. His breakthrough book, The Baron Son, has been translated around the world and featured in the Forbes Book Club and Black Enterprise. William is an internationally recognized wealth and business coach who has been a featured guest on over 500 television and radio programs. William's website, BaronSeries.com, is winner of four 2009 Web Awards including: Best Speaker; Best Male Author; Best Business Advice Site; and Best WealthBuilding Site. For more information, visit http://www.baronseries.com
Annemarie Cross is a Career Management & Personal Branding Strategist, Speaker, Consultant, Radio Broadcaster, and Author of ’10 Key Steps to Ace that Interview!’ She is also the founder/ principal of Advanced Employment Concepts – Career Management and Corporate Career Development Specialists offering powerful programs for people striving for career success and fulfillment, as well as savvy companies committed to building and retaining their most important asset – their staff. Widely considered a personal change agent and success catalyst, Annemarie has distinguished herself as being people-focused, caring, inspirational and life-changing in her approach. Annemarie can be contacted at www.a-e-c.com.au email: info@a-e-c.com.au.
Catherine Galasso-Vigorito
James Adonis
Catherine Galasso-Vigorito’s nationally syndicated weekly column, “A New You,” has endeared her to readers worldwide for over 15 years.
James Adonis is a people-management thinker and the author of three books including his latest, ‘Corporate Punishment: Smashing the Management Clichés for Leaders in a New World’. Thought-provoking and entertaining, James's keynote presentations and workshops show companies how to solve staff turnover, engage all generations, and win the war for talent. He has presented to audiences across Australia, Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, with an impressive list of clients including McDonald's, American Express, CocaCola, Qantas, and Gucci. www.jamesadonis.com.
Known for her ability to uplift and encourage, Catherine has become America’s most beloved inspirational voice. Catherine is the founder and CEO of her own company, A New You Worldwide, developing and designing inspirational products. Her mission is to instill hope in the hearts of people everywhere, inspiring them to live a better life. She makes her home on the East Coast with her husband and three daughters. Visit her website at www.anewyouworldwide.com Searching for inspirational gifts - visit http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/app.nav/ params.class.K990/walk.yah.0101-K990.
88 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
Writers and Contributors
Dean G. Campbell
Dorothy Rosby
Mr. Campbell advises clients throughout the country and is licensed in securities and insurances in many states.
Dorothy Rosby is an entertaining speaker and syndicated humor columnist whose work appears regularly in 30-plus newspapers in eleven Western and Midwestern states. She is also Community Relations Director for an organization which supports people with disabilities. She lives in Rapid City, South Dakota with her husband, son, mother, and hamster. Contact her at drosby@rushmore.com or see her website at www.dorothyrosby.com.
Dean G. Campbell is President of Campbell Retirement Planning Centers, Inc. He graduated Magna Cum Laude from Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan with degrees in Finance and Economics. While attending college, he also taught business applications. Simultaneously he began attaining licenses to transact business in Securities and Insurances. Upon graduation, he worked for an independent brokerage firm then moved on to IDS Financial Services, now Ameriprise. After becoming a top producer at Ameriprise, Dean worked as a Financial Planner for Empire of America Bank in Buffalo, New York. He later became a Financial Planner for First of America Bank where he also for a period worked as the financial consultant for the bank’s customers at fourteen branches. Thirteen years ago Dean started Campbell Retirement Planning Centers, Inc. To date he has personally helped over 2,500 people with planning there financial futures. He serves on the Board of Directors of the Eastern Michigan Better Business Bureau and was recently appointed for his fourth term. Through the business and personally, Dean donates to several charities, helping those who are less fortunate. Visit his website at http://www.campbellretirement.com. Securities offered through Sigma Financial Corp. Member FINRA/SIPC
Angie Brennan Angie Brennan is a humor writer and illustrator from Maryland. Visit her website at www.angiebrennan.com for cartoons, spoof advice, and more.
Greg Williams Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator, is an internationally sought after speaker/trainer. He provides negotiation expertise to corporate and individual clients that seek to maximize their negotiation efforts, at the negotiation table. You can sign up for Greg’s free negotiation tips at www.TheMasterNegotiator.com – You can also view his Negotiation Tip videos at http:// www.youtube.com/user/ TheMasterNegotiator - Greg’s motto is, “Remember, you’re always negotiating”.
September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 89
Writers and Contributors
Rosalind Sedacca
Margaret Paul
Recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, Rosalind Sedacca is a Certified Corporate Trainer and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents facing, moving through or transitioning beyond divorce. She is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! which offers a unique approach to breaking divorce news to your children based on her own personal experience. She is also the 2008 National First Place Winner of the Victorious Woman Award.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a noted public speaker, bestselling author, workshop leader, relationship expert, and Inner Bonding® facilitator. She has counseled individuals and couples, and led groups, classes, and workshops since 1968. She is the author and co-author of eight books, including the internationally bestselling Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?, Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?
As a Certified Corporate Trainer and Business Communication Strategist she provides consulting, speaking, training and Executive Coaching services to organizations nation-wide on marketing, public relations and business communication issues. She specializes in gender-related dynamics, marketing to women and employeemanagement collaboration in the workplace. To learn more about her book, free ezine, programs and other valuable resources on creating a positive ChildCentered Divorce, visit www.childcentereddivorce.com and www.howdoitellthekids.com. For more information about her customized programs, audio and videotapes, and other services, contact Rosalind at 561-742-3537 or Talk2Roz@bellsouth.net.
Dawn Abraham Dawn Abraham is a Certified Life/Business Coach, and is an “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.com. She also partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to help them create balanced lives while earning more money. Law of Attraction, Self Esteem, Abundance, Meditation, Motivation, Reiki, Private & Group Coaching, Free Life Changing Mp3's and Teleclasses are offered. http://www.qualified-lifecoach.com 90 | Exceptional People Magazine | September-October 2011
She is the co-creator, along with Dr. Erika Chopich, of the Inner Bonding® healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah, and of the unique and popular website www.innerbonding.com. Their transformational selfhealing/conflict resolution software program, SelfQuest®, at www.selfquest.com, is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to the general public.
Sue Urda Sue Urda is an Author, Speaker, Inspirer and Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, She was named twice on Inc. Magazines list of the 500 FastestGrowing Private Companies. Sue’s vision is to contribute to a global consciousness of women helping women succeed in business and in life and to open them to truth of who they are. www.sueurda.com.
Writers and Contributors
Sharon Dahlonega Raiford Bush
Shelley Riutta
Sharon Dahlonega Raiford Bush is CEO of News Archives International. This multiaward-winning journalist writes and publishes news articles about productive individuals committed to making positive changes in their lives and in the world around them. She also writes and directs live performances for young, exceptional artists throughout the Los Angeles region. Sharon shares her life with her husband, veteran actor Grand L. Bush.
Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC is a Holistic Psychotherapist and Inner Bonding Facilitator in private practice specializing in Transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops. To get her free workbook "What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life" or for information about the free teleclasses she does every month visit her web-site www.RadiantLifeCounseling.com or call her at 877-346-1167.
To learn more about Sharon, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Sharon_Dahlonega_Raiford_Bush and http://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonraifordbush. She can be contacted at https://www.facebook.com/TVwxGirl.
Dawn McCoy Dawn McCoy is author of "Leadership Building Blocks: An Insider's Guide to Success" http://flourishleadership.com/store/ index.html She is also is president and CEO of Flourish Leadership, LLC which provides coaching executives, public servants, and youth leaders. For author and speaker details, visit http:// www.flourishleadership.com.
Jack Canfield
Inez Bracy Inez Bracy is the host of her own radio talk show; Living Smart and Well and is a columnist for Senior Stuff a local ezine, the Orlando Examiner, a former columnist for the Island Voice magazine and the author of Rejuvenate Your Life in 21 Days. Bracy’s radio show, Living Smart and Well shares tips on creating your best life and is heard globally on www.livingsmartandwell.com. Bracy is an author, a masterful coach, powerful trainer, and a dynamic speaker. With more than 20 years of experience working for educational institutions and non-profits, Bracy uses her knowledge to help people create extraordinary lives.
http://overfiftyfineandfancy.com Jack is the founder and former CEO of Chicken Soup for the SoulÂŽ Enterprises, a billion dollar empire that encompasses licensing, merchandising and publishing activities around the globe. He is the Founder and Chairman of The Canfield Training Group which trains entrepreneurs, educators, corporate leaders and motivated individuals how to accelerate the achievement of their personal and professional goals. Jack is also the founder of The Foundation for Self-Esteem which provides self-esteem resources and trainings to social workers, welfare recipients and human resource professionals. http://www.jackcanfield.com/ September-October 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 91
www.exceptionalmag.com
Thank you...Founder, Monica Davis
Photo by http://everaftervisuals.com