Exceptional People Magazine-May/June 2011 Part One

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May-June 2011

CONTENTS Extraordinary Profiles 4

Cover Story #1— Jerricho Cotchery—Devoted to Family and Community

10

Cover Story #2— Heath Evans—A True Champion for Children Around the World

16

Dr. Keith L. Black—A Medical Genius and Innovator

Cover photo by Dean Michaels Studio

Minding My Business 24

Walethia Aquil—Grace and Charm

30

Rich Van Engers—A Stellar Reputation for Customer Service

36

CJ Scarlet—Toughness, Tenacity and Compassion

Empowerment 45

4 Most Common Pitfalls for Anticipated Career Changes

48

Overcome Obstacles by Building Your Network

49

Making the Most of Your 401(k) Plan

51

Seven Steps To Negotiating Successfully

52

How to Create a Winning Small Business Plan

54

Happiness Takes Work: 5 Choices to Create Happiness

55

A New Way of Recruiting for a New World

58

Rawle Andrews - Regional Vice President, Maryland, AARP

Cover photo by Norah Silva Photography

Life is a treasure chest of opportunities. All you have to do is start looking.

Letter From

The Founder Dear Friend, Welcome to the May-June 2011 issue of Exceptional People Magazine. Inside these pages you will read about extraordinary people like NFL players, Jerricho Cotchery and Heath Evans; entrepreneurs Walethia Aquil and CJ Scarlet Walters whose life experiences and adversities have inspired them to realize their gifts and share them with others as well as build extraordinary careers and businesses for themselves. You’ll also read the incredible story of Joyce Robinson Agu, winner of CBS’s Amazing Race, Season 7. Her winning experience will give you a brand new perspective on life. These people and others featured in the issue have created a solid plan to help them reach new levels of success.

In order for a house to withstand the test of time it must be built from a blueprint – a plan that determines the integrity of its structure. It also must have a solid foundation on which to stand. Everything that goes into building that house must involve integrity. That same principle applies to everything you do in life.

Would you purchase or move into a home knowing that it was not built on a solid foundation? Most likely, you would not.

You can build a brick home with or without a blueprint but you will immediately notice the difference. Between every brick is a thin layer of cement (the reinforcement if you will) that holds the structure in place.

If you want to operate a successful business, build a solid career, start a non-profit organization or even begin a new relationship or family – what’s your plan? What are the things you need to help you get there? Who do you need to help you reach your goal?

Exceptional People Magazine is the blueprint that can help people build extraordinary lives. It is a combination of powerful insights and advice that can inspire you to build a firm foundation and achieve amazing success. The stories and articles will help you become the entrepreneur you’ve dreamed of becoming or help you reach that next level in your life.

As you create and enhance your blueprint for life, reinforce it with integrity and ethical plans of action. Your rewards will be great.

In whatever you do, I encourage you to design a blueprint and make Exceptional People Magazine a part of your plan to build a solid foundation for your life, your business and your personal goals.

Exceptional People Magazine is not just a magazine. It is a life-changing experience.

Send us your letters at www.exceptionalmag.com/contact.html. Tell us how your blueprint helped you to achieve success.

Sincerely,

Insightful Player™ Jerricho Cotchery

Devoted to Family and Community

Extraordinary Profiles

Sometimes

it takes a wake-up call to cherish what we have in life.

Insightful Player ™ Jerricho Cotchery, the second youngest of 13 children, awakened to a new life and new vision, but it took a tragic event for him to realize that he had much to be thankful for.

The Cotchery family remains humble and thankful for the blessings in their lives. They are committed to helping others, particularly young people who need positive direction.

As some other young people in America's inner cities have done, Jerricho joined a gang. He was 12 years old at the time. He joined in an attempt to fill a void in his life that was unclear to him, but he believed that something was missing from his life. That experience, however, would teach him a lesson of a lifetime, one that has become engrained in his memory and his soul.

His life as a gang member taught him lessons that he shares with young people through the Cotchery Foundation.

His vision is to have the foundation instill hope, inspiration and excitement in the lives of young kids who live in communities similar to the one where he grew up.

As a model citizen and exceptional member of the New York Jets, Jerricho has much to be thankful for -his career, his wife and his family. A down-to-earth gentleman, Jerricho candidly shared his thoughts about growing up, family life, football and the tragic incident that drastically changed his perspective on life.

Monica: What was life like growing up in the Cotchery household?

Jerricho: I’m number twelve of thirteen brothers and sisters. Both of my parents were in the home. I grew up in an environment or community where there were a lot of things going on as far as the usual things you see, including drugs and the violence. So it was the same things in my neighborhood. But there was one thing that everyone kind of gravitated towards and that was sports.

Monica: As the second youngest what lessons did you learn from your older siblings that serve you well today?

Jerricho: Well, just being tough.

When you’re the youngest one, you have to be mentally and physically tough. They’re going to practice things on you, so being tough is probably it. The thing that I learned from my parents, and especially my mom, is that they were servants.

They were great servants. They tried to help out in any way they could.

When you’re talking about helping kids in the community – they just helped any way that they could.

They tried to lend a helping hand.

Monica: At the age of 12 you joined a gang. At that age and time in your life, what did you feel was missing that lead you to join a gang?

Jerricho: Everything that I’ve learned up to this point, it was God in my life. When you’re growing up, pretty much everything is sin. You’re surrounded by sin and everything you see, you feel like you’re missing something, and whatever you do, you try to fill that void. You dibble and dabble in everything you can and you to try fill that void. Joining a gang was what I did, but the void wasn’t filled. I was definitely headed down the wrong path trying to fill that void.

Monica: Oftentimes when young people join gangs, it’s difficult to leave. How did you escape? Was there a defining moment when you decided you didn't want to continue in that lifestyle?

Jerricho: Just thinking about scripture. Once you become a Christian, you’re no longer a slave to sin because pretty much you’re a slave to sin in that lifestyle. You’re not aware of things that are going on, as far as gang life and violence and all of those things. Unfortunately, it opened my eyes. At age 15, I was in a car accident and I realized something in my life needed to be changed. It wasn’t a change that I made on my own, but I was able to see my mom’s relationship with God while growing up and I knew there was something about her.

I had an argument with my mom before I was in the car accident and that was the last thing that I could remember. After that I got saved. My life took a turn for the better and that’s when I turned away from the gang life.

Monica: So, you believe that the car accident was a sign that a change needed to take place in your life?

Jerricho: Yes, the car accident definitely was a sign for me. A lot was revealed to me through that accident.

The road that I was headed down was definitely the sign for me. I feel bad that it took that much to get my attention, but it did. It helped me become the man that I am today.

Monica: That's a good thing. We all make mistakes, but the key is to learn from them. Looking back on the things that have happened in your life, you have obviously developed great values and great principles by which you live your life today.

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Extraordinary Profiles

Jerricho: I lost one of my best friends in that accident. Just looking at that -- and anytime you experience someone dying around you, any time you experience a loss, you realize how precious time is. For me, that’s the thing that I look at now. You don’t have as much time as you think you have. I think about that everyday.

That lesson has been with me a while and once you really wrap your mind around that you’ll realize that just being able to love others the way you’re called to love them is a blessing. Stop putting things off. It will carry you a long way.

People wonder why I talk about God so much but he’s the reason why I’m

here. I could have died in that accident..

Monica: Absolutely. I’m sure something like that can truly change your perspective on life.

Jerricho: The road that I was traveling at that point, I needed to be changed internally. My views on life and everything wasn’t the way it was supposed to be and God was the only one who could provide that.

Monica: That experience prompted you to change for the better and now you’re using your life as an example and you are passing on to others what you’ve learned. I’m sure that it is an inspiration to others. At what point in your life did football become an interest, or did you always know that you had the skills and talent for the sport?

Jerricho: I always knew it. At a very young age I made the comment to my parents -- one day the television was on and an NFL game was on, and I made the comment that I was going to be on television. This was before I started playing organized football.

And, my dad said “You can be anybody you want to be. That can be you.”

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So, that was my dream early on, to make it to the NFL. I started playing organized football at age seven and I always played basketball, but my dream was to make it to the NFL. When you’re doing the things that I was doing -- the gangs and running after girls -- dreams aren't that important to you. You’re distracted. That was the case with me at one point. I wasn’t going to play football my freshman year in high school. I was going to sit out and wait and play basketball.

It was kind of crazy how I said it was my dream, but I put it off. Fortunately a guy that was a senior in high school grabbed me at P.E. and said, “We need you on the team.” He took me to the coach and I was back on the football field. So, not doing anything during football season, that would have been terrible for me, but that was my dream early on. After the accident, I was changed in a way that I valued the things that I was blessed with.

Monica: Sometimes it takes what some of us refer to as a wake-up call to make us realize and appreciate our blessings. That accident was your wake-up call.

Jerricho: Yes, it definitely was. It’s tough to grab a lesson from things sometimes -- what I got from the accident -- but at the same time someone lost their life. That’s the toughest thing to wrap my mind around, that someone died. But my life changed drastically for the better. I never wanted to look at it from a standpoint that it happened just for me.

Monica: What message can you give to young people who may be thinking of joining a gang?

Extraordinary Profiles

Jerricho: It is not the route to go.

Consider your reasons for wanting to join a gang. For me, it wasn’t for protection; it was just trying to fill a void.

But what I would say is look at your reasoning behind it. If you think about it, you’ll realize that it is a dead-end road. Don’t be fooled by it.

Some people may look at it from a standpoint that we are struggling, my family may need money, but don’t be blinded by that. It’s a lifestyle that’s hard to escape, that’s the thing that most kids don’t understand. Once you get into that life, it’s going to be tough to get out. Many kids see the money, the fancy cars, and the lifestyle that looks like it’s the best thing, when it’s actually not.

Monica: What impact has playing professional football had on your life, both personally and professionally?

Jerricho: Personally, it was just to hear my name called, to get that call from the New York Jets when I was drafted in 2004. I was so thankful for that moment because of where I came from. It was a long road. I am still thankful.

Most people see the end results and guys making it to the NBA, the NFL, major league baseball, or whatever the profession -- everyone sees the end result, but no one sees the road that was traveled to get there. I started at age seven. It was a long road up to that point. You’re talking about 14 years until I was drafted.

There were a lot of things that happened on that road, so I was very thankful and a lot of emotions were running through me. To be able to step out on that field every Sunday is just a blessing.

For me the most important thing is the people…especially the guys that I played football with growing up that

didn’t get the opportunity to play in the NFL. It's wonderful, knowing that we’re friends, knowing they’re going to have kids and they can share that experience and our friendship with their children. They can tell their children, "Anything that I tell you that you can be you can do it. I’ve seen my friend do it. I’ve worked beside him while he was doing it.” That means a lot to me.

The NFL is everything I thought it would be. It’s been fun. I enjoy every minute of it, going to work, preparing for the team, playing on Sundays, spending time around all the guys. The injuries are tough, but it’s everything I thought it would be. I couldn’t feel more blessed than to have this opportunity to play in the NFL. Monica: Have you experienced any injuries?

Jerricho: Yes, I have. Every year there’s something I have to get through, shoulder injuries and I had finger surgery. This year I had back surgery and it’s the first major surgery that I’ve had, but the recovery has been great.

Monica: So you’ll be ready to play in August?

Jerricho: Yes, I’ll definitely be ready. I’m working with good trainers and physical therapists. The rehab process is going great.

Monica: There was a point in your life where you met your wife Mercedes and you say that before you met her, you lacked the inspiration to be the man, husband and father that you wanted to be. What was it about Mercedes that gave you a new perspective on life?

Jerricho: Sometimes you get to a place where you feel like it’s just you.

You feel like no one else believes in you. Having my wife in my life, she saw the man that I could be when I couldn’t see the man that I could be.

She brought that out in me. She’s my blessing. She’s done so much for me in my life. She loves, that’s natural for her. She serves me and being able to watch her has been a blessing for me. I have been able to grow into the man that I needed to be and lead the family the way that I should because that’s what I’m called to do. She consistently prays for me, so that I can be the man that I should be for our household. That was the best thing that she could have ever done for me – consistently pray for me.

Monica: That’s wonderful -- the two of you are on one accord.

Jerricho: Most people think they can change a person, but you can’t. She was aware of whom I was and the best thing she did for me was pray, and I’m changed. I still have a lot of work to do but I’m able to lead my family now, and that’s the most important thing.

Our family motto is, if I have the right priorities, my priorities will be in order. If you put God first, the rest will fall into place. That’s the way we operate.

Monica: There was another instance in your life where you and your wife encountered an emotional blow. You wanted to adopt a child but the birth mother changed her mind. What kind of impact did that have on the two of you?

Jerricho: I think it impacted me more so than my wife. We went to a spiritual retreat and my heart was changed overnight. After that, I was

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ready to adopt. But it was another thing we learned in that moment and that is God controls it all. He knows what's best for us. Don’t act like you’re in control of your life. When you act as if you’re in control, you’re going to wound up with things that weren’t meant for you. After that experience, my wife and I talked about it. A week later, our daughter was here. Just having that trust in the moment that everything was going to be alright, God blessed us with a baby girl the following week.

Monica: We should never secondguess what God does in our lives. It

may not always be what we want, but that means he has something better planned for us.

Jerricho: Yes, no doubt. She was born a week later and we got her two weeks later.

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Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: Can you speak about the Cotchery Foundation and it purpose?

be. You don’t have to settle for anything.

Don't be deceived by what you see on television.

Jerricho: What we strive to do is to get the kids thinking about their future. We work with inner city kids, similar to the environment that I grew up in. Sometimes you can’t see beyond your environment. We encourage them not to limit their thinking just because of the environment they live in. Some kids may think that they can’t become a lawyer or the president, because of the environment that they’re in. We try to instill in them that positive thinking can help them become whoever they want to

Monica: What types of programs does the foundation offer?

For parents, I would make sure that you instill God in your children. Discipline your kids. The word says train your child in the way he should go and when he gets older he will not depart from it. But to do that, you have to be a living example for them.

Jerricho: We have a mentoring program in East Orange. We do that during the season on my off day, on Tuesdays, and my wife does it on Tuesdays and Fridays. We have volunteer mentors from corporations and other places come in to mentor the kids. We also have service projects where we renovate exercise rooms in the recreation center. We have football camps in Birmingham, Alabama, where we partner with the Birmingham public library. If you’re going to become a part of the camp, you have to read a book. We’ve been getting great attendance at the camp every year, so a lot kids are reading.

My motto as I mentioned before -- if you have the right priorities, your priorities will be in order. That’s what we live by. God first and the rest will fall into place. Actively pursue God.

Monica: I love it because kids need to read more and they need to become involved in educational activities.

That's an excellent way to do it.

Jerricho: I bring guys from the NFL to the football camps -- guys from the inner city, so the kids can interact with them. The kids can learn about the road to the NFL from others, not just from me.

Monica: How can people support your foundation?

Jerricho: To learn more, they can visit our foundation at: www.cotcheryfoundation.org.

Monica: Your last word?

Jerricho: I’d like to tell kids that there are a lot of things on television and in the world that are distracting or deceiving and they may keep you from becoming what you want to be.

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Insightful Player™ Heath Evans A True Champion for Children Around the World

Extraordinary Profiles

in a disciGrowing up plined and faith-filled home has had an astounding impact on Insightful Player™ Heath Evans. Today, he is the Running Back for the New Orleans Saints and he’s living the life of a champion on and off the field.

As a young child, he learned many of life’s lessons through his father’s experiences, which also enabled him to build a solid foundation for his future. As an ex-Marine, his father instilled in him the importance of being open and honest with himself and others.

With the strength and inspiration Evans gained from his father’s stories and the help of both parents, he was well prepared for the challenges that he would encounter.

As a child, Evans suffered from ADHD and dyslexia but with the support and encouragement of his parents, he developed strong study habits and performed very well in his classes.

Evans was delighted to take a few minutes from his busy schedule to share his story with Exceptional People Magazine.

Monica: I’m interested in knowing what life was like growing up in the Evans’ household.

Heath: Disciplined. It was, I would say, focused. My father was an ex-Marine -- well, I guess you’re always are a Marine -- who served during Vietnam. My mom worked until I was about five and then decided to sacrifice the financial benefits to stay home with her kids, so a loving home, a home from my father’s side that was very driven. I think my parents knew early on what I wanted to be and they were very instrumental in helping me achieve those goals.

Monica: Wonderful. In a sport where you are constantly in the spotlight, especially during the football season, external forces can negatively impact your life. How do you remain grounded?

Heath: Wow. For me I was raised in what I’d call a faith-filled home. I wouldn’t call it a religious home. We were a family that believed in what the bible said and we tried to live and act accordingly. And I think grounding in my faith is really what keeps me grounded. I’m far from perfect but it’s a belief system that I know that I ultimately want to raise my family in, and ultimately I know it will protect my family and guard us and help us prosper. It comes back to my faith in Jesus Christ and trying to live a life that is backed up according to the word of God. May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 11

Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: Absolutely. You use your success as a professional football player as a platform or vehicle to help impact the lives of others for Christ. What are some things you are doing to use your life and your success to spread the gospel?

Heath: We do a lot of things. Most of it is through our charity work, through the Heath Evans Foundation. We do a seven-on-seven football event where we basically invite the best high schools in the state of Florida to compete in a one day tournament. With the seven-on-seven brand of football we’ve become very big across the country and with my name and the NFL platform obviously behind us, we’ve been able to grow a seven-on-seven that’s now one of the best in the country, according to recruiting and scouting sites such as Scout.com and Rivals.com. So in that event we basically use the football tournament to appear before 450-500 of the best football athletes in the state of Florida to present the gospel to them.

Obviously in and through the foundation as long as the victims that we’re working with aren’t dead set against it, most of our counselors are of a Christian background, or I’d say all of them are. But everything we do is ultimately trying to point people back to Jesus, whether it’s a football tournament, or whether it’s the healing that our foundation provides.

Monica: That’s wonderful. What inspired you to start the foundation?

Heath: My wife was a victim and that’s why we do what we do.

But ultimately the spark that always existed in me was built in by my family and by men that were around when I was growing up. I knew from an early age, that you are blessed to become a blessing. You aren't blessed to hoard it, you aren't blessed just for you and your family, you’re blessed to give back to the less fortunate. So it was a natural fit to move in the direction that we chose with the Heath Evans Foundation.

Monica: What types of programs and/or services are offered by the organization?

Heath: We exist for two reasons: To bring hope and healing to victims of childhood sexual abuse through free-of-charge professional counseling for the victim, as well as the family, to heal through the process after being victimized, and secondly, to bring awareness to the subject matter. Obviously it’s a subject that’s frowned upon and it’s one that is shamelessly kept quiet. So, one of our biggest goals is to constantly bring awareness to the epidemic of sexual abuse.

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Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: What should parents do if their child has experienced such abuse?

Heath: Wow. First and foremost they need to get it out in the open. For some reason your initial response as a parent is let’s keep this thing quiet and let’s guard our child and not cause anymore shame or heartache. But that is ultimately the worse thing that a parent can do.

That’s the equivalent of putting a band aid on cancer. It’s eventually going to fester and it’s eventually going to kill you. People say what do you mean it’s going to kill you? Well, it will eventually emotionally kill you and sometimes it drives victims to kill themselves.

So we constantly challenge families to do the tough thing, show tough love and ultimately find qualified professional counselors who can walk the family and their child through this process in a healthy manner. Teaching the victim how to deal with the thoughts and the fears and the anxiety, the depression, the anxiousness and all the different characteristics that accompany this specific type of abuse, is important.

Monica: How long has the Heath Foundation existed and how can people donate or contribute to the cause?

Heath: Since '06. www.heathevans.org is our main site. We have a few others. One that I’m really most proud of is an idea that we wanted to create called www.iamthevictim.com and it’s a place where victims can login to the website and tell their story. It’s an anonymous site. You’ll see stories about other victims and it’s just a community of victims, and it helps them realize that hey, I’m not the only one. There are other people in this battle with me and there is hope that can be gained through this. I don’t have to live this devastating lifestyle that I feel like I have fallen into or have been trapped into.

So www.heathevans.org contains all the info about the foundation and www.iamthevictim.com is for victims to begin the healing process by blogging out their story along with other victims.

Monica: You began your football career on a high note with the 2001 NFL draft for the Seattle Seahawks, and then in 2005 you signed with the Miami Dolphins. You were cut six weeks later. I’m sure you’ve probably experienced other disappointments as an individual and also as a team, even possibly some injuries. In terms of your football career how have you been able to handle your disappointments and how do you use your disappointments to help you grow?

Heath: You know it is really simple. I always direct everybody to one bible verse and its Jeremiah 29:11 that says, “I know the plans that I have for you declares the May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 13

Extraordinary Profiles

Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.”

And for me I’m very careful and thought-out and prayerful about every major decision in my life. So when things come my way, whether it’s tearing up my knee in the '09 season with the Saints, the year we won the Super Bowl, or getting cut back in '05, I know there is a method to the madness.

Again it goes back to the grounding in my faith. I don’t believe I serve a dead God; I believe I serve a living God who is active daily in our lives and wants to play a huge part in our lives, if we’re willing to submit to his authority. A lot of people don’t like the sound of those two words: submit and authority. But I’m not God. I don’t know what’s around the corner, so I have found in my life it’s best suited for myself and my family when I am seeking someone who has the answers and knows what’s best for me. When I decided to follow the compound of the word of God, it’s amazing how blessed my marriage became, my parenting skills improved, my leadership skills improved, my teammates were more responsive to me. And so adversity has always gone back to that verse, knowing that my God has a plan for my life. The good, the bad and the ugly, they’re all going to work out in my favor. And that’s just the truth of the matter.

Monica: Absolutely true. What are some values that you learned from your father that you pass on to your kids?

Heath: Toughness and hard work. And they are two things that are irreplaceable. I think we live in a world where men and women just can’t stand up to do the right thing; they’re not tough enough in the face of adversity, they’re not tough enough physically to do the things that they need to do. Ultimately my father was a man who didn’t always feel like doing the right thing, but he would force himself to do the right thing because he knew it was in the best interest of himself and his family.

Monica: An author by the name of Maryanne Williamson once said, “Success means that we go to sleep at night knowing that our talents and abilities were used in a way that served others.” What does success mean to you?

Heath: Honestly there’s a selfish side where you look around and you say man, we’ve got a great house and we’ve got nice cars and we’ve got daughters that are healthy and I’ve got a beautiful wife and we have money in the bank.

Obviously those are the worldly sides of success. They’re hard to miss at times.

But there is something to be said about being able to lay your head down on a pillow at night and go to sleep peacefully. And I think very few people in the 14 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

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world in this day and age have the ability to do that. I think there’s just so much weight on people for different things or different reasons, but I also think that people are chasing the wrong things in life and haven’t found true contentment or true happiness. Therefore they don’t have the ability to truly rest.

Monica: You’re right about that. In what ways has playing football changed your life personally and professionally, as well as your perspective on life?

Heath: Wow. You know I think – my perspective, I don’t know if it has ever really changed. My family always raised me to have a good head on my shoulders.

I never expected this game to really bring me happiness.

I never really expected it to do much more for me than obviously provide a great way to make a living for my family. And obviously that money goes a long way to do a lot of things in the community and for our foundation and it blesses many other people. I definitely was not one of the people who thought football was going to make me happy or bring contentment and peacefulness to my life.

The game has taught me a lot about life. The team aspect of the game of football is probably what I appreciate the most because in our game if one guy is wrong, all the others are wrong. In basketball you may have one guy throw a three-point shot and it’s the perfect shot, but four other guys are doing the wrong thing. That never works in the game of football. You’ve got to have all the guys on the same page. That teamwork aspect really drives home a lot of different things in families because you can take the game of football and the principles that you learn in football home to family, and I think it will help you build a successful home life as well.

Monica: What is your plan for life after football?

Heath: Two things. The foundation is not going anywhere, Lord willing.

It is something we have huge dreams and huge plans for and we want this to far outlive Heath and Beth Anne Evans, and even my daughters. And so we want to eradicate the issue of childhood sexual abuse and it’s a huge goal, a big vision. People say we’re crazy -- but a lot of people told me I was crazy thinking I could make it to the NFL and I’ve done that for ten years. Secondly, I’ll probably enter the broadcasting world when I’m done. I love the game of football. It will allow me to remain connected to the game and it will obviously allow me to continue to appear before the public, which equals exposure for the foundation.

Monica: That would be a clever decision and I wish you success in both areas.

Heath: Thank you so much.

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Dr. Keith L. Black A Medical Genius and Innovator

Extraordinary Profiles

His exceptional innovations and desire to help people suffering from brain cancer has earned him accolades as one of the world’s top neurosurgeons.

Dr. Keith L. Black is an elite neurosurgeon who performs hundreds of successful brain cancer surgeries each year, many of which are often considered inoperable.

His vision is to go beyond just healing people who have brain tumors. His mission is to explore ways to eliminate these cancers.

Dr. Black’s passion to eliminate the disease influenced his decision to establish the Maxine Dunitz Neurosurgical Institute at Cedar Sinai Medical Center in 1997, and he also established a Neurosurgery Department at the medical center.

As a young lad, Dr. Black always had an interest in science. He has his parents, whom he describes as the ultimate educators, to thank for cultivating that interest, as well as great mentors over the years.

Dr. Black’s vision is becoming a reality as he continues to bring together the brightest and most creative neuroscientists and neurosurgeons to find cures for disorders affecting the human brain.

Dr. Black graciously took time from his incredibly busy schedule to talk about his success as a surgeon, his innovative endeavors and his desire to eliminate brain diseases.

Monica: Who inspired you to become a doctor and why did you decide to focus on neurology and brain cancer?

Dr. Black: I had a lot of great mentors along the way. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had an interest in science. My parents were educators; my mother was a teacher, my father was principal of an elementary school. I always describe them as being the ultimate educators. As early as second, third grade, when they learned that I had an interest in science, they cultivated that interest. So, it was probably my parents who were my first mentors.

As I went on to college and medical school, my professors took me under their wing, and they shared their experiences with me. That was really wonderful. I became interested in the brain and neurosurgery after taking a class in neural anatomy. I fell in love with the structure and function of the human brain. For me, it was one of the most beautiful structures in the known universe, allowing us to see, to feel, to think and create. So I knew I wanted to spend the rest Dr. Keith Black and the Braintrust. The women of the Brain Trust have been instrumental in raising funds and awareness of my life learning how to benefit Dr. Black's research at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. In this picture taken during Dr. Keith Black's book signto heal the human brain. ing in New York, are (from left) Ms. Dale Mason, Ms. Gloria Mitchell, Ms. Angelia Bibbs-Sanders, Dr. Carol Bennett, and Ms. Pauletta Washington). Also, in the picture is Ms. Star Jones who was the event's emcee.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 17

Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: Are there symptoms of a brain tumor? If so, what are they?

Dr. Black: Yes, there are clearly symptoms and, you know, what makes it a little difficult is that one of the most common presenting symptoms is a headache. Obviously, headaches are one of the most common medical symptoms that we encounter.

Everybody gets a headache and we’ve all had headaches, multiple headaches. So the vast majority of headaches are really insignificant; it might be a tension headache, or a migraine headache. But occasionally, a headache that’s very different than what you’re used to, may be a warning sign of either a brain tumor or a ruptured blood vessel in the brain. And it’s important for physicians to be able to distinguish a regular headache vs. a headache that could be a warning sign for something more serious.

So a headache is a very common presenting symptom.

New onset of a seizure in an adult is one of the most common symptoms or findings that can lead to discovery of a brain tumor.

If you’re an adult who has a seizure and you haven't had seizures before, the most likely cause could be a brain tumor. Also, any area that the brain controls -- so difficulty with speech, difficulty with movement, difficulty with sensation, a new onset of double vision, particularly if it worsens over a period of weeks or months, those are very bad signs that could suggest a tumor growing within the brain.

Monica: Are brain tumors based on certain conditions, or maybe a certain lifestyle? Do they occur among certain groups of people?

Dr. Black: Well, most brain tumors, we do not have a cause that we know of that’s associated with them, so unlike lung cancer, where smoking cigarettes is a clear risk factor, we don’t have a clear risk factor for brain tumors. So probably for 95 percent of patients who develop brain tumors, it’s a development that’s not related to anything that we know of in their lifestyle. Now, certainly there’s been a lot of discussion about cell phones causing brain tumors.

18 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

Baroness Monica von Neumann champions the work of neurosurgeon Dr. Keith L. Black, who first met The Baroness after her late husband was diagnosed with brain cancer.

Scientifically, at this point, about 50 percent of articles suggest that cell phone use has no relation to brain cancer, and the other approximately 50 percent suggest that brain cancers may be related to cell phone use. Some articles have suggested that the risk of developing brain tumors may be increased by more than 250 percent if you’re using a cell phone.

We know that cigarette smoking is strongly linked to lung cancer, but if you begin smoking a pack of cigarettes a day at 12 years old, we don't expect you to develop cancer at 22.

We expect you will develop lung cancer at 42, so after about 30 years of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, we know that you’re likely to develop lung cancer.

None of the studies involving cell phone use have really looked past ten years of use, so we don’t know what the long-term impact would be of using a cell phone over 20, 30 or 40 years. Most of the studies have only looked at people who have used cell phones for a few hours per month, and I believe most people use cell phones for much more than a few hours a month.

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We also have reason to believe that the effects are going to be much greater in younger people and children than in adults, because their skulls are thinner. The microwave radiation can penetrate deeper into a child’s brain than an adult brain, so we don’t know what the impact of that would be. Those questions, I think, are still unanswered.

Dr. Black: Yes. We’ve tried to do some very out-of-the-box thinking to find new and novel ways to bring a big impact on our ability to treat patients. One of the things that we’ve developed is what we call a therapeutic vaccine for brain cancer, where we actually take proteins from brain tumors and use those proteins to activate the immune system against the tumors to destroy them.

Monica: You established a neurosurgery department at Cedars Sinai Hospital a few years ago. What types of research are you currently performing, and have you progressed to a point where you are able to apply that research?

We were the first to use this type of vaccine in patients with brain cancer, and what we’ve shown is that for the most aggressive type of brain cancer called a grade four glioma, we can increase the survival rate at two years from 8 percent to 42 percent in patients who receive the vaccine. We’re working to make the vaccine even better in the newer generation of vaccines that we’re making. We’ve also developed ways to get chemotherapy directly into the brain and into brain tumors, to make it more effective and safer.

Monica: Your ultimate goal, of course, is to eliminate brain cancer. How close do you think you are?

Dr. Black: Well, I think we’re certainly making strides in trying to increase the life expectancy of patients with brain tumors. We’re working to eliminate the need to perform surgery for brain cancer and we’re also trying to develop technologies to destroy these tumors, using non-invasive strategies such as laser and focus ultrasound and microwave oblation.

Monica: You and your team are taking a very aggressive approach to eliminating brain cancer, something similar to the Manhattan Project, which was successful in developing the atomic bomb. So you are definitely taking an aggressive approach. What are your thoughts about that type of approach?

With that type of aggressiveness, how quickly do you think you may be able to develop a treatment that will eliminate brain cancer?

Dr. Keith Black in the operating room.

Dr. Black: What we’re doing is recruiting the best and the brightest minds to our neuroscience institute to find a cure for brain cancer. We want to develop a treatment that will invert it from a universally deadly diagnosis to something that’s more akin to hypertension, which you can live with and that can be contained. The strides that we’ve made over the last five years have been significant. I see the potential for developing much more effective treatments over the next five years.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 19

Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: How do you recruit the people that you bring onto your team?

Dr. Black: Basically, what we do is allow people to work in an environment where they are surrounded by others who are the best and the brightest in the area. And we try to give them the tools they will need to make discoveries to find cures for this disease as quickly as possible.

Monica: To date, what has been your most treasured accomplishment as a neurosurgeon?

Dr. Black: I think the vaccine that we've developed has really made a difference in the field. It has opened what we call the blood-brain barrier, which means that the brain doesn't take in most drugs, because the capillaries basically form walls that don’t allow drugs to penetrate. We've developed strategies that allow drugs to penetrate into the brain to treat tumors, and that’s a major accomplishment.

I’m also personally very proud of the department and institute of neurosurgery that we built at Cedars Sinai. It is now one of the largest and busiest neurosurgical centers in California that’s providing cutting-edge care for patients with disorders affecting the human brain.

Monica: That’s wonderful. In your opinion, how much funding will be required to reach a point where the disease can be eliminated?

Dr. Black: I believe to eliminate brain cancer, you’re probably looking at an investment of about $10-20 billion. You know, that’s a big number. But when you look at the fact that you have more than 200,000 people dying in the United States every year from brain tumors, being able to save those lives and to improve the quality of life, I think it is well worth the investment. The spillover and the impact of that on other disorders I think will be significant as well.

Monica: How has being a brain surgeon affected your view of yourself, as far as your mortality?

20 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

Dr. Black: Well, I recently wrote a book called Brain Surgeon: A Doctor’s Inspiring Encounters with Mortality and Miracles, and I talk about the real heroes. And the real heroes are my patients because you think that if you’re given a diagnosis of brain cancer, you say, “Well, I’m just going to give up and take the American Express card and go to Tahiti.” But that’s not what they do. They take time to speak to their kids and tell them things that they want them to remember for a lifetime. They tell their spouses that they love them, things that they want them to know.

They teach us how to live a life worth living, and a life of meaning. You can live a lifetime in one or two years, and so I think that the biggest gift that I’ve gotten from my patients is they teach me how to live a life worth living.

Monica: I understand that you also developed a program called Brainworks. Can you talk a little about that?

Dr. Black: One of the things that I think is critical is giving kids the knowledge and encouragement that they can be whatever they want to be. And I think you need to start doing that early; the earlier, the better. So we have a program where we’ve brought in about 1,500 kids from lowincome areas in the Los Angeles unified school systems.

They have an opportunity to become brain surgeons, neuroscientists or neurologists for a day. They perform a simulated operation on the brain using a half-million-dollar surgical microscope. They look at sheep brains and experience various things with the nurses. So we want to encourage and inspire them to realize that a career in the sciences is a cool thing. If they have a lot of passion for science, we want them to work hard so that one day they can become future neurosurgeons and doctors and scientists.

Monica: Excellent. What do you hope to accomplish scientifically in the next three to five years?

Dr. Black: Well, we have a lot of things on the plate. I think we’d like to get the vaccine as part of standard care for patients with brain cancer. We’re working on what we call a nano-drug that can get chemotherapy directly to brain tumors that will allow those drugs to be more effective.

We’ve just published a paper where we are now potentially able to diagnose Alzheimer’s disease by looking through the eye, and we’re working on a vaccine for Alzheimer’s disease. So that’s a very exciting project. We’re using a camera that NASA used to look at the edge of the universe to view the brain. This will allow us to distinguish between a normal and a diseased brain, so that’s another very exciting project. So I think if those things all work out, it would be a good five years.

Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: Absolutely it would. Of course, what you do is very intense and it requires a lot of dedication and commitment on your part and also with your team members. What do you do to enjoy life – to get away from that?

Dr. Black: The water is my sanctuary, so I can always get rejuvenated. It’s like purification and rebirth by water. I have a sailboat, so I love being out on the water in a boat. I love scuba diving. I love being close to the water.

Monica: What do you enjoy most about your profession?

Dr. Black: I think the biggest gratification is that every day that I get up, I know that it’s an opportunity to help somebody – a patient – and that’s a real special gift. I wake up every day saying, “Maybe I can help somebody today.”

Monica: What kind of legacy would you like to leave your family and your patients – all the people whose lives you have changed?

Dr. Black: Well, I have two great kids. My daughter recently graduated from college, and she’s now working in New York. My son is in college and I’m proud of them, as proud as any dad can be. They’ve turned out to be great people and great kids. And I think the legacy that I want to live is, I just hope to leave the world a better place as a result of me being here, trying to take care of my patients and trying to find cures for bad diseases.

Monica: You certainly have made an enormous contribution to that. You’re doing excellent and amazing work. I can’t imagine a person of your stature in terms of what you have accomplished and what you are doing, how much pressure is on you. I’m sure you will continue to explore and achieve amazing things.

You’ll probably come through with a major innovation and we’ll be there to honor you for it.

Dr. Black: Thank you.

Monica: Paulette and Denzel Washington joined forces with you to promote summer research scholarships funded by the department of neurosurgery. Can you talk about that experience and the scholarship program?

22 | Exceptional People Magazine | March-April 2011

Dr. Black: Oh, this is really a wonderful program where we bring two students from undergrad and two students at the grad level who are Paulette and Denzel Washington Gifted Scholars. People apply from all over the country, and they are able to work in the research lab to help find cures for brain disorders. We continue to mentor them throughout their career. And one of the very special things about the program that Denzel initiated, is that we began presenting the scholar’s award in inner city high schools.

We’ve given the presentation in inner city schools in South Central Los Angeles, in Harlem and Shreveport, Louisiana, to inspire other students to achieve, work harder and become the best that they can be.

Monica: How important is it for African-American children to become involved with science?

Dr. Black: Well, I think it’s critical, obviously. I love science; I think that a lot of people think science is hard. They think that it’s not meant for them. But I would say it’s important to have an open mind; that if you love science, don’t be afraid to become involved. I can tell you if that’s what you enjoy, there isn't a more rewarding profession than being in medicine, helping people, helping save lives, helping make new discoveries for diseases that are devastating. So it can be an extremely rewarding field.

Monica: Your last word?

Dr. Black: Well, the one thing that I would like to say to young kids who may read or hear this is that you should find out what you really love to do, because when you do what you love to do, it’s not work. And if it’s not work, you don’t mind doing it. So if you’re up at 2:00 in the morning doing what you love -- that’s what it takes, I think, to be really good at anything. Malcolm Gladwell, says in his book, Outliers – you have got to spend 10,000 hours before you get really good at something. But when you love what you're doing, those 10,000 hours don't matter. And if you have any talent for it, then that combination comes together. You have a gift for what you do, you love what you do and you don’t mind working hard at it – that’s what really creates someone who can be happy and successful in life.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 21

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Minding My Business

W

alethia Aquil

Minding My Business

Presentation…often the link between you and success…it can determine whether you get the job you’ve been seeking, the business deal you’ve wanted, or help you make beneficial social and business connections.

It’s all about Grace and Charm. From the woman who epitomizes grace and charm, Walethia Aquil has helped thousands across the country perfect their personal relationships, their business skills and social graces.

“As a coach, I help my clients create an image of greatness so that others can see the greatness behind it,” says Aquil.

Her life as an entrepreneur is a reflection of her desire to change her life and it began with her high school prom night. As a shy, self-conscious and insecure child, Aquil experienced one of the most embarrassing evenings of her life. That evening gave her the courage to overcome her insecurities to become a recognized expert in etiquette and image consulting. She developed what is known as the Grace and Charm Success System, and she has proven that anyone can change their circumstances and attract unlimited success.

Monica: As owner of Grace and Charm, you have created a system called the Grace and Charm System? Can you talk about that?

Walethia: The reason why it is a system is because there are three components that I focus on: they are etiquette and social skills, image, and interpersonal skills. I believe when you combine those three components, it equals grace and charm. I'm sure you've probably met people who have the social skills but they have no communication skills.

So I just wanted to create a step-by-step system that's easy to use, it's quick, it's easy to implement and simple. They are techniques, tips and tools that a person can use immediately and see immediate results. That's why I decided to put it into a system, to make it easy, compact and quick.

Monica: Do you focus on etiquette issues such as table manners?

Walethia: I do. However, I believe that etiquette and social skills should be a part of your everyday life. They are not to be placed on a shelf and pulled out for special occasions. That goes back to the system because when you incorporate all of those components, you actually develop

Grace and Char Charm With Grace and Charm She Prepares You for Ultimate Success March-April 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 27

grace and charm. It's about making people feel comfortable in your presence. It's about bringing people into your world. The grace and charm system is designed – once a person goes through the coaching program with me and they implement the skills and the techniques that I share with them, they exude grace and charm. Just look at our President.

He makes you feel as though he's known you – even on TV, you feel as though he's talking to you, you feel as though he understands your pain and your joy.

You feel as though he knows exactly where you are at that moment. And you can relate to him.

Look at people like President Kennedy. He had charm, finesse. People like Oprah. She just brings you into her world and you feel as though -- when you sit down and talk to her, she makes you feel as though you've known her your entire life.

For a person as well as business to grow, you have to be able to connect with people and that's what grace and charm are all about. Yes, the social skills, knowing which fork to use and all of that is important.

Once you acquire those skills, you can move into the social circles and feel confident and competent. You can focus on the people, you can focus on the person that you are having that interaction with, and you're not sitting there wondering, "Okay, what should I do?" When you are focused on you, how can you be focused on the other person?

So I break down those barriers that people have, they're able to move throughout social circles and have interactions with people that can really make a difference in their personal lives, as well as their business and professional lives. And you can even take those skills, tools and techniques and apply them to your personal life, in your personal relationships, your marriage and with your children. It's all about making people feel good about themselves. Making that other person feel special, that's grace and charm.

And as simple as it is, it is so difficult.

Monica: Based on your experience, what is the average time it takes for a person to understand the grace and charm system and apply it?

Walethia: Well, it depends, and I do stand behind the statement that I made. If you take one technique, one simple technique, and apply it, you will see im26 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

mediate results. So it's all about mindset. You must be able to infuse it, believe it and confirm it. I say my affirmations each and every day because I was not always graceful and charming. I practice every day and even more so with a name like Grace and Charm. I have to be that example, but it's not about being stiff and formal so that people don't want to be around you.

It's about making people feel comfortable in your presence, not threatened. And when you can move into that space, people will open up to you. They will help you.

I mean it's just so awesome. It's like having people eating from the palm of your hand. When you can walk into a room and all eyes are on you, and people are wondering, "Well, who is that lady?" "Who is that man?" It's because you just exude that confidence.

Grace and charm is just confidence.

Monica: Have you been very successful having men take the training?

Walethia: Not as successful as I would like. More and more men are coming into my world. They are responding to the message, so it's changing. It's evolving. But if you think about it and you look at society today, it has evolved. It's gone full circle. Now people are beginning to realize, "Well, you know, I need to have social skills to become a success." I may be the eighth wonder of the world, but if people don't like me, it's, "Oh, well. So what?"

Men are striving to move upward, and they realize that they need to smooth out those rough edges. And that's why I love Jay-Z, as an example. He can go from hiphop to businessman, and he's very suave and has that swagger because he understands. He understands that when he is in the business world, there's a certain persona, there's a certain image that he needs to project in order to gain trust and have credibility. I think he's just the perfect example. You have to be able to distinguish the two and know where to draw the line.

Monica: Do you believe it's possible to change someone's behavior pattern to have them speak or present themselves in a certain manner?

Walethia: I believe that it is, but only if the person is willing to make the change because it starts with a mindset. You have to realize that it's a problem. I had to finally admit to myself, "You have a problem, Walethia. You don't get along well with people." And I didn't know why. It took me years. I did not know why,

Minding My Business

Walethia: Absolutely. Absolutely. You know that old saying you’re a diamond in the rough? Well, I was a diamond in the rough. And I'm still growing. Growth is an ongoing process. I say that personal development is a process, not a project. It's not something where you take a course and you stop. No. It's an ongoing process.

Monica: Yes, absolutely. You're constantly learning every day. You also started what you call Grace and Charm Academy. You have other people who, of course, are helping you teach the courses so, what do you look for in an instructor?

so I had to go back and say, "Okay, I really don't" – I didn't trust people. If you don't trust people, you don't really like people.

You don't let people into your world; you don't let people get close to you. Even though I knew my business, I knew what to do; I had all the skills, but a piece was missing. So I had to back up, do some deep-down soul searching, and come to terms with "people do not like you because…" And it wasn't because people, per se, did not like me. I did not give them the opportunity because I did not trust people because of some past experiences.

Monica: How did you break that pattern?

Walethia: Well, number one, I had to come to terms with it. I first had to ask myself, "Why is it that people don't like me?" Some people told me I was just too blunt.

I was straightforward, and I'm still a very straightforward, to-the-point type of a person. But I've learned how to temper that and consider the other person. So when I started to make that mind shift within myself and realize and understand that it wasn't all about me, my whole world began to change. But I can honestly say it was a process. It was stages of growth. As I began to implement the techniques, the skills and the tools that I share, people began to treat me differently.

Monica: You are your own testimonial.

Walethia: Well, first of all, they have to be likable because that's so important. I mean I'm Grace and Charm, so you must be likable, you must be authentic. To me, that is the most important thing. I'm not impressed by your letters, your degrees. I want people to be authentic and have a sincere desire, and they can relate to other people and people know that they relate and they understand. I think it would be a challenge for a person – I was there at one time, too, where you don't consider the emotions and feelings of others.

People don't care about what you know (and I'm sure you've heard this) until they know that you care about them.

Monica: You're absolutely correct on that. You consider yourself to be a serial entrepreneur.

Walethia: Oh, gosh, I have been in business for probably 25-plus years and have done a number of things. I was thinking about that the other day. I have gone from working for a detergent company, in the corporate world to becoming a business person in between. I've done multi-level marketing; I have had a salon, and have been in other businesses, as well Monica: With all of those different things and different businesses that you've had, were you able to learn something from each of them and build upon your skill level?

Walethia: Yes. I learned something from every experience, but at the same time I realize that there are some basics in business that don't change.

If you have that foundation, that's one of the components to becoming successful in business. But yes, I learned one of the most important things -- because I found myself going through all these changes, searching and lookMay-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 27

ing -- but what was missing were people skills. I mean I could sell. That wasn't an issue. I was the first director here in the city of Flint for a cosmetic company. So it wasn't that I didn't have the skills. I had technical skills and education; I just didn't have the people skills.

So that was the learning point for me. Going back, I had to identify, “Okay, what’s going on here?"

Monica: You've created an organization called My Dreams Do Come True. Can you tell me a little bit about that?

Walethia: That is the love of my life. When I think about it, what I'm doing now is all based upon my personal experiences. Going back to my prom, I was the desperate girl who didn't have a date, so the desperate guy asked the desperate girl to the senior prom. My family didn't have a lot of resources, so I didn't think I would go to the prom because I didn't have a date unless I was the last-minute date for someone. So at the last minute, I took the little money that I had, and I went downtown to a high-end store and purchased a gown that was on sale.

I purchased the gown and did my own hair. I've always had a knack for style, so I knew what looked good on me at that age. I knew how to style my hair and manicure nails. I had the long, white gloves and shoes dyed to match my dress. My family didn't have the resources, so we never went out to dinner. That was my first date, and it was devastating for me. It was really one of the worst nights of my life and I was so embarrassed. I went into a restaurant and, of course, it had a table setting. I had no idea what to do. I ordered from the menu and had no idea what I was ordering. Now, I'm sick about it. It was just clams and shrimp and maybe scallops. The only thing I could identify at the time was shrimp, so I didn't eat because I was so selfconscious. It was just a terrible night for me.

With graduation being such a huge expense for families, I decided to do something to help young girls. I saw the program online and did some research. I began My Dreams Do Come True because I did not want any girl who wanted to attend her high school prom not be able to because her family could not afford a dress.

Monica: Is the program limited to the state of Michigan or a specific area in Michigan?

28 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

Walethia: Of course, I have a big dream for it.

Right now I focus on Genesee County. Last year, I focused on the city of Flint itself, and I had girls coming from all over the county. So I decided that this year, that I would focus on Genesee County. But there are other organizations here in the state of Michigan. There's one in Detroit and one in Saginaw. So if I get calls from around the state, I just refer people to other locations because there very well may be a location where they live.

I know how peer pressure affects young people and I didn't want any girl dropping out of school because she couldn't go to the prom. Education is so important, and I encourage them to continue their education, even after high school. I ask that they at least complete – can show me that they are on track to graduate. There's no income stipulation, so I have girls come from families who can afford to pay, but if you can save a couple or 300 dollars or more, why not?

The gowns are donated. You normally wear the gown maybe once and they’re so beautiful. I have a dry cleaner who donates some of the cleaning services. I even had gowns that had price tags on them, and it's just so exciting. There's an organization here called Job Corps that sent about 30 girls. Keep in mind that probably about 99.9 percent of these girls had never worn a dress and to see them, to see the look on their faces, it was just awesome. So that's what I do, and that's just one of the things that I'm passionate about because I know the difference and how it can just boost a girl's confidence.

Monica: You also developed a program called Ideal Girl Global.

Walethia: I just took what I know and I packaged and delivered it to our young ladies because our kids need all the help they can get. They buck and they cry and they fight and they resist it, but in the end, I get letters like, "I learned how to be a lady," and "I'm going to become a high society lady," or "I learned how to control my anger." So when I get notes like that, it makes it worth it.

Monica: When you provide a program like this, you're basically giving them insight into what they can be.

Minding My Business

clothes dirty. So, of course, she was being teased and when you are teased, what you do is fight. You're angry.

But we took that young lady to one of the cosmetology schools in the area, got her hair done, took her to Goodwill and purchased some clothing. And talk about a change. After that, she was very receptive. She didn't have a mother at home. So when I'm working with these young girls, a lot of times I have to put my agenda aside and focus on their needs.

Walethia: Absolutely. I try to tell them and help them to see that there's a world outside of your block, and when you cross the street, you will be in a different world, so it's important how you conduct yourself.

Monica: Do you think it's important for boys to learn grace and charm?

Walethia: Absolutely. I don't particularly work with boys because I can't do it all. Even with My Dreams Do Come True, I have mothers, who ask, "Well, why aren't you doing this for the young men?" I believe that our young men need to have a male role model. I think that it's important that they have a male standing in front of them, giving them direction, guidance, encouragement and motivation. A woman can do it, but I guess I'm just old school. I think that a man should raise a boy; a lady should train a daughter.

Monica: Helping young girls overcome their shyness and insecurities requires them to take some risk, even at a very young age. How do you ease them into a world that's completely different than what they're accustomed to?

Walethia: That is a good question, and that is a challenge. I always go back where I was at that age. But you know what I've learned is that our children are very intelligent and that given the opportunity, they open up and receive. First of all, they have to know that you care about them, because if they don't think that you care about them, I don't care what you say, they are not going to do it.

Sometimes, I have to put my agenda aside and just allow them to vent because they have issues at home, they have issues at school, and they sometimes just need someone to listen. So that's how I'm able to connect with them. I don't make any judgments. I'm just thinking about this one young lady. She was rather overweight for her age.

Every day that I saw her, her hair was unkempt and

Monica: What is your vision for the next two or three years for Grace and Charm?

Walethia: Oh, God, that's a good, good question because I'm thinking global now.

I see Grace and Charm making such an impact on the world. And so I would like to create and expand the academic part of it. I have books that I plan to write. I also plan to develop and grow my coaching program where everything, including the knowledge and the skills, will be on video. So people will have video access to the program, as well as CDs and workbooks.

My goal is to expand My Dreams Do Come True and Ideal Girl. Everything is going to move along together because my information is information for all the components that I do. Once the program is solid and well established, I would like to license it out.

Monica: Are the various programs only available as a package or do you offer them separately?

Walethia: Oh, yes. I have the complete package, the Grace and Charm Success System, but they are also available individually. I understand people are at different levels financially, and I want them to have access to the information, so I am going to develop different types of programs where people can have access at different prices.

Monica: What has been most rewarding about what you do through Grace and Charm?

Walethia: Oh, gosh. When I see the look on a person's face when they use something that I've shared and it works. Working with the young ladies and receiving such wonderful emails, those are the biggest rewards.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 29

Rich Van Engers A Stellar Reputation for Customer Service

Minding My Business

It’s been seventeen years, since Rich Van Engers discovered what is now the most popular innovative design for pet carriers. Over the years his brand, SturdiBag, has become the preferred pet carrier for professional trainers, breeders and animal lovers worldwide.

His company Sturdi Products, Inc., a family owned company, has gained a stellar international reputation for designing durable, yet uniquely attractive products for cats and small dogs.

with their arms wrapped around this box, struggling, with a cat falling through the bottom. At the same time I see this canvas awning coming off this building," says Engers.

Who would have thought that a cat falling out of a box and a canvas awning would change the pet carrier industry? It was that instance of inspiration that changed his life.

With no market research, how did Engers survive and eventually beat the competition -- by constantly developing, testing and enhancing his product, but more importantly by listening to his customers and meeting their needs.

He now realizes that market research is important and necessary to start any business. From his living room floor to an enormous warehouse, Engers built his brand through hard work and word-of-mouth.

The founder of Exceptional People Magazine was thrilled to speak with Engers about his business venture, his setbacks

It was seventeen years ago that Engers embarked upon this new endeavor. Here’s a question: What would you say is the most important element when starting a new business? One might say market research. This is true, but in Engers case, he defied the norm and became a successful entrepreneur and business owner. He didn’t know anything about market research, but he poured his heart and soul into making a product that he believed would meet a particular need. Today, Engers is a leading manufacturer of pet carriers and other related products.

“I had just been divorced. I was dead broke. I was riding my bicycle to work…when one day…I see somebody

and success.

Monica: Tell me about your company, how you got started and why you chose the pet industry.

Rich: It's kind of a funny story actually. It was around 1993, I'd just been divorced. I was completely broke. I was riding my bicycle to work and I was working for a major trucking company, when one day I'm driving past a veterinarian's shop and I see somebody coming up with their arms wrapped around this box, struggling with a cat falling through the bottom of the box.

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At the same time, I see an awning coming of a building, a canvas awning, and I thought there has to be a better idea.

There has to be a better way to do this. So I went to a friend who sews and told her, "I've got this idea for this new product. Do you want to help me sew and start a company?" She said, "No, I'll show you how to sew, but I don't have time."

flexible awning, a pet carrier. So I tried to sew it myself, but when I started working with the pattern maker, things changed a little and we came up with the design. I had boxes set up in my living room with different pieces that would go into the pet carrier, and I had 20 pet carriers made.

Monica: So that's what started it all?

So she let me use her sewing machine and showed me how to wind the bobbin. I went home, sat on the floor

Rich: This actually took a couple of years from the time that I had the idea, sitting down and trying to sew it myself, sourcing raw materials, trying to find every thing that goes into it, trying to find a decent name for the product.

Once I went to a cat show in Bremerton, Washington. I set 20 sturdy bags on the table and everything sold. I was just blown away. I remember three Japanese women who to this day when they see me, they hug me. They bought two carriers each. I walked away empty-handed with $1,000.00 but with so many ideas from so many people. They would come by and they'd look at the product and say, "Boy, this is really great, but can you add a shoulder strap, can you add some kind of a flap or cover over the mesh?"

and started cutting and sewing. I did the best I could, took it to a professional pattern maker and they made a couple patterns for me.

At that time it cost me about a week's pay to have one prototype made. After I had a few more prototypes made, I put an ad in the paper for home sewers. Many people responded but I only kept one person over the years. But they answered my ad and I would cut the material, cut the webbing, the notions and deliver everything to them.

Monica: What was the material made of?

Rich: At that time it was nylon, 420 denier nylon. So I had that idea of the awning in mind. It's like okay, a 32 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

With that first $1,000.00 I went back to the drawing board, put those covers over the mesh, put a shoulder strap on, and did what the people asked. I didn't know that I would see the same people at the cat shows.

A couple of weeks later I went to another cat show, saw the same people and they came by and said, "Boy, you really listen to your customers," and a light went off. It's like this is a no-brainer. If you listen to your customers, you take care of them and you design what they want, you include them in the design process, and it's really a no-brainer." It's a simple way to do business. Listen to your customers.

Monica: You started this project without researching the market to see what was already out there.

Rich: I had no idea then. It's kind of a crazy way to do business. I had no idea what was on the market. When I showed up at the cat show, obviously there was nothing like it on the market. At that time there was only one soft carrier, which I learned later was the Sherpa bag. It had

Minding My Business

one product. Years later, people would try to trade theirs in for one of ours, because it's a sturdy bag, it's flexible, it's lightweight, it's easy to use. It's evolved over the years.

Rich: Mainly sourcing raw materials. There was nothing like it on the market and so everything that I needed, I had to find. It wasn't conventional. You couldn’t go to a hardware store; you couldn't go to a fabric store.

Monica: So what is the major difference between your product, your pet bag, in terms of what other companies are selling?

Now we have a company that sources for us, but I keep trying to improve. Since day one, that's what I've done. If I can improve the product, I will. With our warranty, it's imperative that we continue improving our product and make the best product we possibly can because every prod-

Rich: First of all, ours is the only soft-sided pet carrier that has a patent, and the reason it has a patent is because it has a flexible frame which allows it to conform into any small or tight space, such as under an airline seat. Initially, nineinch plastic boxes were being made to go under the seat. When I came up with the 12-inch SturdiBag, it was actually too big to fit under the seat, but when you pushed it down, it became a spring bag. That really set it apart.

Going from cat show to cat show, there were so many suggestions. People would ask, can I seatbelt it into my car, can I tie it down on my bicycle. To this day we have a reputation for listening to our customers and that's how we've developed more than 40 products over the years.

Monica: What are some of the other types of products that you have developed?

Rich: We have a pop-up shelter, which if you ever go to a cat show, we probably have 90 percent of the market share. It's Sturdi product after Sturdi product. The pop-up shelter is actually a soft-sided kennel. When you take it out of the bag, you give it a shake and it sets itself up. We have about six different models, different sizes, lots of different colors, different door styles. We produce them for the European market where we make them with a Euro bag. We make a larger one for the German market. There's no assembly whatsoever. We've had people in wheelchairs tell us that they haven't been able to set up their own cage in years until we came up with this idea.

Monica: What are some challenges that come to mind when you first began this project? What were some of the challenges you encountered in designing it and how did you overcome them?

uct out there that has a Sturdi Products label is treated like it's ours.

Monica: What would you say to other business owners, other entrepreneurs about the importance of listening to their customers?

Rich: Well, business is really simple – you listen to your customers, you do what's right. Just do the right thing.

Stand behind your products, take care of your customers and make a product that people ask for.

Monica: You've been in business for over 17 years. What do you attribute to the success of your company? How many employees do you have working for you?

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Rich: Just do what's right. Listen to your customers, stick by your products. We have six employees here and then we contract over 200. We don't advertise. It's just a lot of our customers have become almost like family.

Monica: You have done such an excellent job in building your company.

Rich: Yes, like I said, I'm very lucky and the reason is our customers. You include your customers, you listen to them. If they're telling you what they want, you need to listen to them. Then if your customers have a problem with something, you treat that product like it's your very own. With our customer service, we don't let people go to recordings. We answer the phone every time. I don't answer the phone very often, but if anybody ever wants to talk to me, they're more than welcome.

Monica: Sturdi Products is a family business. What kind of challenges have you encountered by hiring family members?

Rich: You can quote me on this one. It's easier to hire them than it is to fire them. It just goes with our philosophy. You just treat people right. My parents were born in Indonesia, hardworking people. They left Indonesia right after the Second World War. They immigrated to the Netherlands, where I was born.

After the Netherlands, they came to the United States.

My father tried to get a job with Shell Oil in the United States. He had worked for Shell Oil in Indonesia where he had 5,000 people working for him. When he came here, he was told that he was too old. So he started washing dishes and he changed tires on cars just to feed the family. My son is also a very hard worker, so we come by it honestly.

We welcome input from everybody. My brother worked for me in Europe; my brothers have worked for me here almost ten years. My son helped me get started years ago. It does make it nice to have your family around.

Monica: What do you find most rewarding about operating your business?

Rich: Seeing my product all over the world. When I first started this, I made 20 carriers. Well, the first store I ever put my product in was in Amber, Washington, and I was broke. It took me a week's paycheck to make one SturdiBag at that time.

34 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

There was a little store that bought two carriers from me.

In the evening, when they were closed, I would stand in front of their window and look at my product and go, "Okay, that's one store." Now we're in thousands in countries all over the world. We send full containers to Russia, Germany, France, Italy, and Japan. As a matter of fact, we just began exporting to Beijing and Shanghai which, for us, is just phenomenal because they "knock off" our products; they copy our products in Russia and China.

Monica: There's really no way that you can control that.

Rich: No. What we do is we make a bigger presence, and that's one of the reasons we're going to Russia. We did a special run of Sturdi Products. We print our own materials, so I buy raw goods in white color and then I have them printed. We've got thousands of prints to choose from, so there's no way that the companies that are trying to knock us off can keep up with us. By the time that they knock off one of our products, we've already changed.

I picked up a couple of imitation products at the Global Pet Expo in Orlando I attended a few weeks ago. There was a Chinese company there that had an imitation of my products with its label on them. I brought the products home and they're completely inferior.

One of the difficult things when I started this was sourcing materials, and that's what they can't do. They may be able to copy the pattern, but they don't know where we get our supplies. So we have what we call vinyl ester rods that make our products flexible.

In the early days, they would break. We now have them made for us to our specifications in a factory where I can walk through and I can see how these products are being made. The people who are copying our products can't compete with that. They're trying to find cheap products, trying to get them on the market as cheaply as they can.

With my products, I see those that are 10 or 15 years old and they still look new. If somebody comes to us with a product that's 10 or 15 years old, we'll refurbish it for them at no cost.

Monica: What tips can you give consumers about selecting the best carrier? When selecting a carrier for their pets, what should they look for?

Rich: We tell people that it should be as comfortable for you as it should be for your pet, and that's why you don't

Minding My Business

want to get anything that's too heavy or too bulky. Obviously, your cat or dog has to be comfortable, so they need to be able to get in there and turn around. They don't usually stand up; they get sea legs when they're traveling.

You don't want anything too small for them and, more importantly, it should be comfortable for you, because a cat or dog is going to adjust to almost any space. They're going to be happy as long as they're with you.

So that's why we try to make things as light as possible.

As a matter of fact, we have a carrier that weighs two pounds that you can put a hundred pound pet into and it will retain its shape. It's flexible, so if it's too large to fit under the seat, you just push down on it, slide it under your seat, and let go of it and it springs back. You can utilize all the space under the seat.

Monica: What is the make-up of your customers? I would imagine, that they’re all ages and backgrounds and from all walks of life.

Rich: Yes, actually, from children to people in wheelchairs, and we've seen it. I've seen people in wheelchairs coming into shows, carrying our products on their wheelchairs.

Monica: Many people, entrepreneurs, have ideas about creating a new product which they believe will fill a potential need. From your perspective, what steps should be taken to turn those ideas into reality?

Rich: Well, it would probably take some research, I would say. If somebody has an idea it would take some research, maybe go to trade shows in that field and see what's already on the market. It doesn't make sense to produce something that someone else is marketing already.

A little bit of research can go a long way but that's something I didn't do in the beginning. I didn't know better.

Ignorance is bliss. Everybody has a great idea. Everybody has at least one great idea. It's just a matter of what they do with it, whether they follow through or not.

Monica: What are some things that you're working on for the future?

Rich: Well, wheels for our carriers. We just came out with our newest pet carrier, which we call the Incognito.

It has nice handles on it and it is up-scale. We took it to a cat show and tested it in our market. We told them it was-

n’t for sale but asked what do you think about it? They put their cats in it, tried it out and just like the other shows, they gave us their input. Then we'd go back to the drawing board and change it a little bit, and now we have it in production.

We create SturdiBoxes. It's a collapsible box that holds water, or anything else. We make them in five different sizes, from two cups to five gallons. They're foldable, flexible, easy to store, backpackers use them to wash dishes. There are hundreds of uses for these things. You can store ice in them. At the end of the day it's water but there's no seepage whatsoever.

Monica: Thank you for the opportunity to learn more about Sturdi Products. With 17 years of great success, you’re obviously doing the right things.

Rich: We owe it to our customers. Our customers are our best salespeople. It's really quite wonderful. We're blessed.

Monica: It's amazing that you have practically built your company just by word of mouth.

Rich: Word of mouth and no market research. Yes, well, that's why I stressed in the beginning I was riding a bicycle.

Monica: I'm sure when you were riding that bicycle you never thought that you would have achieved so much success.

Rich: No, I really didn't. I knew I had a good idea, but every day it just amazes me that we get calls from all over the world. The Ukraine -- and exporting to China is just phenomenal for me. I get to travel a lot. I go to meet distributors and customers. If there's an issue, if somebody has a problem with my products, I'll go there in person.

Monica: That's unheard of.

Rich: It really is. Nobody does that. Customer service – our customers built our company. If we don't take care of them, what do we have?

The question becomes, how long do you want to be in business? Do you want to be in business for two years, or do you want to stay in business and be able to pass it down to your family?

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 35

CJ Scarlet Walters Toughness, Tenacity and Compassion

Minding My Business

As a

young girl, she was smitten by the stories her father and twin brother told her, both of whom served in the Marines Corps. So it was natural for her to have a desire to serve in the military as well. As a young woman, CJ Scarlet proudly served her country as a Marine. She was ready to serve because her father had prepared her for what she would encounter as a newly recruited Marine.

What she wasn’t prepared for was a devastating diagnosis from her doctor. In 1990, CJ learned that she had lupus and scleroderma which ultimately affected her ability to continue service as a Marine. Though she is no longer serving in the Marine Corps, CJ continues to serve her country in another capacity -- as a humanitarian.

She was deeply affected physically and emotionally by her health problems, but she is using her experience to serve others. Her achievements as a Marine, an entrepreneur and humanitarian have inspired countless others to live life with vigor.

Exceptional People Magazine was thrilled to speak with CJ and learn about her service, her vision to change the world and her company, Roving Coach International.

Monica: When did you learn that you had lupus and scleroderma?

CJ Scarlet: I was diagnosed with both of those in 1990.

Monica: Were you in the military at that time, or was that before?

CJ Scarlet: I had just gotten out of the military but I had symptoms of the lupus, and it takes years, sometimes, to diagnose those properly. I had symptoms probably for about five years before I was diagnosed and I got out of the Marine Corps in 1986.

Monica: When you were experiencing symptoms, did that have an impact on your ability to serve in the military?

CJ Scarlet: The fatigue was the biggest thing that I dealt with while I was in the military. The fatigue and the joint pain made it very difficult to continue working. I continued to work and I was an exemplary Marine, but it was very difficult to deal with an illness when we didn't know what it was.

Monica: What inspired you to join the Marines?

CJ Scarlet: My father was a Marine, my twin brother was a Marine. I had been raised on stories of the Marine Corps and I wanted to serve my country. I felt that it was very important that I do that.

Monica: When you talk about Marines, people usually think of mostly men joining the Marines. Did you find it challenging when you first joined?

CJ Scarlet: Yes, I did. There are not a lot of women in the Marine Corps. I was in the first women's platoon that had any combat training, so we had an extra week's worth of training in addition to traditional training and boot camp.

It was tough. I became an honor graduate because my father and my recruiter taught me how to handle marching and how to field-strip an M-16, as well as other things before I left.

So when other girls would lie in their bunks at night crying because they wanted to go home, I'd lay there and think is this it? If all they're going to do is yell, this is easy.

Monica: You also learned that you had two additional health conditions. You developed progressive heart and lung conditions. When you learned about that, what were your immediate thoughts?

CJ Scarlet: I went numb immediately. I didn't understand what pulmonary hypertension was. Essentially it's when the blood pressure becomes so high that your heart begins to enlarge. So my doctor told me that my heart could fail at any time. Traditionally, people who are diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension are given a limited time, up to a couple of years to live. I was just in shock.

Monica: At some point you decided that this is what you had to live with. When did you decide that you had to effectively live with, or overcome your health problems?

CJ Scarlet: When the lama gave me that cosmic headslap. I really was not dealing with it well for about the first two years. I was very depressed and anxious. I felt extremely isolated. My family was in denial and I was scared out of my mind. So I was a miserable human being.

I had the opportunity to meet with a Tibetan Buddhist lama and I poured out my tale of woe and waited for him to shower sympathy on me. And I waited and I waited, and that's when I learned that lamas don't do dramas. The lama May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 37

Minding My Business

actually said to me – kindly, with compassion, but steadily – "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking about the happiness of other people."

I had been an advocate and done all sorts of work on the behalf of other people, but when this happened to me I went very deep within and was focused solely on my own suffering. I forgot that other people were suffering too.

Monica: Since then, how has your perspective on life changed?

CJ Scarlet: Oh, it took a complete 180 degrees. I wasn't able to do much physically because I was very debilitated at that time, so I started small by saying prayers when an ambulance would pass by, and letting the mob of screaming kids go ahead of me in line at the grocery store – just little things that I could physically do, and I started to feel happier.

Then I started to do more. I gave my cane to a woman who was struggling to walk. I contacted friends who I knew were going through problems and I sent them encouraging notes. Just little, free, simple things that didn't take any effort on my part, and I felt happier again.

Monica: To what or to whom do you credit your ability to live life fully despite your circumstances?

CJ Scarlet: Well, I reached a point where I was doing so many acts of kindness that it took my focus completely off myself. So the reality that I was sick and dying just disappeared. Suddenly my reality was I had the power and the capacity to help other people and to be compassionate. I reached a place where I was so happy that if you offered me ten more years living as I did before I became ill, or one more day living with my new open and loving heart, I would have chosen that one day. What actually happened is that within 18 months of performing these acts of kindness my condition went into remission, and I feel better today than I've felt in 20 years.

Monica: But you're still living with the condition?

CJ Scarlet: Yes, I am. I'm still on a couple dozen medications and I still have the occasional problem, but it doesn't bother me. I am not this illness. I am not defined by my illness. I'm defined by the human being that I am and I continue to help others.

38 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

I started the Kindness Cure campaign, which is designed to motivate people to help me perform one million acts of kindness. We're up to about 150,000 acts of kindness. My Kindness Cure project is actually joining forces with the Kindness Project.

I started a social networking site where people could register and commit to perform an act of kindness every day for one year. That's how we counted the number of acts of kindness that people were doing.

We're in transition, collaborating with the Kindness Project, so we're going to have a new website soon, but our goal is to reach that million mark within a couple of years. People go on the site, they read stories about other people's acts of kindness, and they share their own. Whenever I begin to feel down about anything, I can go to the site and feel like a million bucks in a minute.

Monica: There's a place to go to sweep your troubles away and be thankful for what others have done. That makes you feel better.

CJ Scarlet: That's right. The stories are so heartwarming that it's important – and when I was talking about the physiological benefits of performing an act of kindness, you receive the same benefits from reading about other people's acts of kindness.

Monica: For many years you have been an advocate for individuals facing tragedy and trauma. How did you become involved and what are some things that you do to help people in that sense?

CJ Scarlet: My master's degree is actually an interdisciplinary humanities degree in human violence. I wanted to understand how human beings could do the things they do to one another, because I was sexually assaulted when I was a child. I didn't understand how people could hurt each other in war and terrorism and in other ways.

So I studied the situation until I felt compelled to become an advocate. I worked for United Way and I operated a child advocacy center. Now I'm running a traditional corporate business, but on the side I do volunteer work for Hospice of Wade County. Also, I keep vigils with people who are dying and I am a volunteer caregiver. So I find ways whenever I can to help people who are experiencing life's transitions find the peace and happiness that I have found.

Minding My Business

Monica: Yes, absolutely. They have an amazing and positive impact on so many lives.

CJ Scarlet: Yes, and it ripples through generations in ways we will never know.

Monica: Through World Kindness Day, what do you ultimately hope to accomplish?

CJ Scarlet: World Kindness Day is usually held the second week of November and I think it began in Japan. The purpose is to have people around the world take at least one day to consider how they can help others.

There are movements springing up all over the world with people who are performing acts of kindness.

I'm just one little person out of a sea of people who are doing wonderful things. So my goal would be to have the Kindness Project, which we're in the process of im-

Monica: With the Healing Tree Foundation you're also meeting the needs of children and adult victims as well.

CJ Scarlet: Yes. I think when people go through traumatic experiences, they don't know that there's hope out there because they don't know that they're appreciated. I am continually amazed at the capacity of the human spirit to overcome tragedy and trauma. People are simply amazing. Sometimes the people who've been through the worst things – and you've seen this as the editor of Exceptional People Magazine – the people who go through the worst things end up being the greatest human beings.

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plementing within two years on World Kindness Day, announce that it's reached the one million mark.

it on your own because if something happens to you, there's no one to take up the slack.

Monica: You were also involved with the Springboard Enterprises Mid-Atlantic Venture Capital forum, which helps women business owners. What are some prerequisites that a business owner must possess in order to compete with a venture capitalist?

Monica: Tell me more about roving coaching.

CJ Scarlet: Passion. Passion for what you're doing.

You can't meet with a banker or venture capitalist with half-hearted enthusiasm for what you're doing. You have to believe it so strongly that you convey that to them. I would say passion is the most important thing. You must have a solid plan. You can't go in there without a clear plan. They want to see that you know what you're doing and that you have involved people who can support you in your goals.

Monica: Do you consider yourself disabled?

CJ Scarlet: No, I don't. I have a handicap sticker that I use when I feel that I have to, but I don't consider myself disabled because I'm able to do virtually anything I want.

I can't always do it as well as other people, and sometimes I'm debilitated and can't do much, but there's always something I can do. One of the terms that disabled people like to use is "differently abled."

Monica: Ah, I see. So what advice would you offer others who have a dream and are disabled?

CJ Scarlet: My number one piece of advice would be to obtain the support and help of others. In 2000 I started a company called the Healing Tree, which was a wonderful Internet company that was going to sell medical products for people with disabilities. I was the sole owner and although I had people working for me, I had all the responsibility, the stress and all the leadership responsibilities. When I became ill in 2000, which led to me being diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension in 2002, I had to close the company. So I simply couldn’t do it on my own. Now, I have started Roving Coach International, which is a company that provides coaching to the masses, to all employees, so that they can have access to coaching like management does.

I have two partners and having two partners has tripled the fun. The shared responsibility relieves me of a lot of stress. So I would say have good partners, don't try to do 40 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

CJ Scarlet: Roving coaching is a new concept and rather than the traditional coaching model where there's an hour spent several times a week, which I liken to the breast stroke, we do immersion diving. We do 30-minute sessions with people that take them very deeply into a personal or professional issue. We don't do counseling, we don't give advice. We ask powerful questions to help people access their innate wisdom. Roving Coach has been around for a year, we're about to go global and we're very excited. This is going to be a $100 million company that we're building, so we're very excited about it.

Monica: That's wonderful foresight.

CJ Scarlet: Yes. The moment I got the idea for it, and I believe it was divinely inspired, because the words "roving coaching" and 30-minute sessions popped out of my mouth and I had no idea where they came from.

But the universe is bringing us all the resources, all the people, everything we have needed. It's like we were chosen to do this, my partners and I. So everything we have planned has come to be, and I knew the minute I got the idea that this was a $100 million company.

Monica: You spoke about how important it is to bring people into your company. How did you find your partners?

CJ Scarlet: I had spoken at a church about my illness and how I overcame it. A woman was in the audience and asked me to share my story with her husband, who had just been diagnosed with cancer. Over a couple of years we stayed in touch, and then one day we met for coffee and by the end of it we agreed to do our individual coaching practices together to support one another. Then we were at an event just a month later, a luncheon event, and one of the speakers was so passionate and powerful we asked to meet with her. I shared my idea of a roving coach and she lit up like a firecracker and said, "Let's do this."

So a lot of it is serendipity. A lot of it is choosing people that you trust and that you know are going to fully support you and have the same passion and vision that you do. It's very important that they have the same level of vision and passion.

Minding My Business

Monica: In December of 2000 you were recognized by Metro Entrepreneur Magazine and Metro Magazine for your high-tech company. How long did you have a hightech company, and what type of services or products did you provide?

CJ Scarlet: This was Healing Tree, the company I started back in 2000. It was going to sell medical equipment for people with disabilities. If your grandmother broke her hip you'd be able to go to our website, and we had a database where you could enter hip replacement or driving, for instance, and we would provide lists of products she could use to make her life easier and less painful.

A lot of people don't know that these products exist.

So the company had been in place for about a year when we were selected for that honor, but it was only a few months after that, that I became ill and had to close the company.

action steps and ask themselves how they're going to hold themselves accountable. We do it all in 30 minutes. We're working with clients now, and the model is proving itself over and over again. It's a very powerful model.

Monica: Are you targeting people in all professions and areas of life?

CJ Scarlet: Yes. Our main focus is companies that are or aspire to become great places to work, the companies that already appreciate their employees and provide benefits. But we'll work with almost any company that wants its employees to have a better work experience, because we feel that we can go into these organizations and offer coaching to the employees. They're going to feel more appreciated and feel that they're important to their organization.

Monica: So you're more targeted towards companies than individuals.

Monica: What really makes you happy?

CJ Scarlet: Helping other people. When I see people who are struggling, feeling hopeless and helpless and I remind them that there are people who care about them, that the universe is on their side, that often obstacles are opportunities in disguise, it brings me so much joy. I tell them that they have the power and capacity to improve their lives.

Monica: With your roving coach business, you also practice a technique called laser coaching.

CJ Scarlet: Yes. Laser coaching is about getting right to the point. We spend the first five minutes of any session allowing individuals to delve deeply into how they feel about a particular situation. Say, for example, they're not getting along with their manager and they feel very strongly about that. We let them explore their feelings and we validate them. Even if all they get out of it is feeling heard and validated, they've received something important. We ask them to imagine what it would be like if their circumstances were perfect, then we ask them to take action steps to lead to that situation.

So the important thing we do is remind people that they alone can change their circumstances. The manager is not going to change, so they have to do something differently themselves. We empower them with the understanding that they have a responsibility and choice to make changes. Then we have them agree to a couple of

CJ Scarlet: That's correct. We work strictly with companies and nonprofits who want to provide benefits to their employees, because coaching is common among executives, but the middle managers and other employees typically don't have access to coaching.

Monica: Would what you're doing apply, for example, to an employee who is experiencing harassment on the job?

CJ Scarlet: We don't do remedial coaching. When it comes to situations like that where there's activity going on that's endangering someone, we refer them to their employee assistance program. If there's something illegal going on or there's harassment taking place, we are obligated to make a report. We don't do remedial coaching. If that happens, we refer them to someone who does remedial coaching, or to their employee assistance program. We are not therapists.

I want to thank you because your magazine -- I was looking through the website and exploring it, and you're bringing to life the stories of people who are out there changing the world. As I said earlier, when we read about an act of kindness or we read an inspirational story, we are uplifted. So what you are doing with your magazine is lifting people up, giving them hope and the feeling that they can make a difference in the world. That, to me, is the most important thing of all.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 41

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ISSN 1944-9062 Founder and Editor-in-Chief Monica Davis

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Empower Yourself...

“Knowledge is like money: to be of value it must circulate, and in circulating it can increase in quantity and, hopefully, in value.”

Louis L’Amour

Empowerment

The 4 Most Common Pitfalls for Anticipated Career Changes

By Annemarie Cross

According to a survey completed by the Corporate Leadership Council in 2004 - 76% of the 50,000 people surveyed, claimed that they were not engaged in their jobs [they lacked passion, motivation and fulfillment in their work]; 13% stated they were actively disengaged [they openly demonstrated their dissatisfaction in the workplace]; and only 11% indicated they were fully engaged [they were passionate and motivated] in their work.

If you fall into the staggeringly high 76% of people who are essentially ‘disengaged’ in their work and are thinking of making a career change, it may be wise for you to heed the following five mistakes so as to avoid the possibility of moving from one situation into another that is far worse.

Mistake #1 – Not having a clear understanding of your career interests The lack of self-awareness and understanding of your career interests is one of the major factors that prompt people to either move from one uninspiring job to another, or remain stuck in a job that is unfulfilling and meaningless.

Career interests fall into six broad themes, namely Artistic; Investigative; Social; Enterprising; Realistic; and Conventional.

Theme:

Interests:

Artistic

Self-expression; communication; culture; appreciation

Investigative

Science; medicine; mathematics; research

Social

People; teamwork; helping; community service

Enterprising

Business; politics; leadership; entrepreneurship

Realistic

Machines; computer networks; athletics; working outdoors Organization; data management; accounting; investing; information systems

Conventional

While your interests may be reflected across two or three themes, you will probably find that you score higher in one of them, confirming that a role which fits into that occupational theme is most likely going to be more meaningful to you.

Mistake #2 – Not having a clear understanding of your career values Values are things that we hold a deep conviction for – the things that we embrace and believe in and that are essentially significant, valuable and/or sought after. A value is a life principle which influences your thoughts, emotions/ feelings, attitude, behavior and actions so it is an important factor to consider when exploring and determining your career path.

Our levels of motivation increase when our values are aligned with what we do so becoming clear on your values will not only support you in maintaining satisfaction in your career but will also allow you to avoid establishing a career with a company whose culture differs from your values.

By understanding your values you too will be able to see why when certain things occur in the workplace it can make a huge impact on you, perhaps through raising feelings of discomfort. It is important for you to consider your values when selecting a company or industry. If the organization’s values clash with your own, you will only end up having to compromise on what is important to you, again causing disillusionment, dissatisfaction and disappointment.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 45

Empowerment

To help you understand what a career value is, I have listed over ten values below. Consider whether or not these are important to you by using the scale provided. [Note: of course there are many more values that you will need to consider, and the main purpose of this example is to help

you realize that this is another very important step that you should be doing within your decision making.]

Scale: I=Important; NI=Not Important

SI=Somewhat

I

SI

NI

Accountable for results and outcomes

I

SI

NI

Respect, recognition and acknowledgement

I

SI

NI

Autonomy: freedom to make choices in timing and how each task is performed

I

SI

NI

Teamwork; sense of collaboration and group commitment

I

SI

NI

Recognition for expertise

I

SI

NI

Nurturing close relationships with family and friends

I

SI

NI

Security and stability

I

SI

NI

Diverse variety in work responsibilities and/or situations

I

SI

NI

Ability to be creative, inventive and imaginative

I

SI

NI

Senior-level income, expensive assets i.e. possessions and property

I

SI

NI

Visible success, prestige and status

I

SI

NI

Competitiveness and continuously achieve ‘best’ status

I

SI

NI

Leadership and team direction

Mistake #3 – Not having a clear vision about where you want to go Just as embarking on a holiday without any preparation or planning would have you driving aimlessly in circles never quite reaching your destination, so too does not having a vision, a target, or intention with your job and career. How can we possibly begin to work towards our career goals and our dreams if we don’t have a clear vision of where we want to be?

One of my favorite sayings is ‘Where your attention goes your energy flows’, which means that whatever you are putting your attention, energy and focus on, is what you are creating and manifesting in your life.

Without a clear vision of what you want your life, job and career to be like, unfortunately you will be left with what you are currently experiencing in your job, which is probably uncertainty, doubt, dissatisfaction, annoyance, and frustration. With all your thoughts and attention centering on these negative emotions, guess where your focus and energy are diverted towards? It’s preoccupied with exactly 46 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

Important;

the emotions and experiences that you want to move away from, namely uncertainty, doubt, dissatisfaction, annoyance, and frustration.

If time, money, [and anything else that may be coming up for you] were not an issue, what goals would you want to achieve within the next 12 months, 3 years, or 5 years? So, what are three things you could today that would you get one step closer to your goals?

Mistake #4 – Giving in to your doubt and uncertainty Is your resistance to change preventing you from realizing and living your dream? Does the thought of the unknown keep you trapped on the boredom treadmill, staying in a position that is clearly uninspiring? Or perhaps you have chosen to just ‘settle’ with something in your life, as the thought of taking even the smallest of steps towards making a change seems far too intimidating.

Behind any resistance to change is a small but significantly powerful 4-letter word: F-E-A-R. For instance:

Empowerment

• Fear of the unknown: you would rather stay with what you are familiar with, than taking that leap of faith into something you’re not that familiar with.

• Fear of failure: rather than taking the time to research, plan and live the career you want and can feel truly inspired by, you take the first job offered for fear of failure should nothing else come your way.

• Fear of rejection: caught up in the ‘family tradition’ your career path has been pre-determined by your parents whose desire is for you to continue the long line of descendents working in ‘a particular profession’. Going against the family’s expectations, which could prompt negative reactions, comments and possible rejection, prevents you from taking a different career path.

Can you relate to any of these? If so, you are certainly not alone. Even with the best of intentions, people still remain stuck within a role they dislike, or continue to put up with something they totally despise because of fear.

Here are four steps [of our six-step F.E.A.R. conquering program] to support you in overcoming your fear: Step 1: Acknowledge your fear Acknowledging exactly what it is that you are hesitant and fearful of can often give you a huge sense of relief. Unfortunately though, if you are not prepared to acknowledge your fear you will most likely end up surrendering to it.

Fear can hold you back from fully embracing your authentic self, preventing you from discovering and harnessing your natural talents and skills, thus keeping you from doing what you are truly good at and having a career that you love.

Step 3: Validate yourself Allowing yourself to continue believing that you won’t be able to cope with what ‘might’ happen will keep you stuck in your fear. Stop reinforcing that unhelpful belief (through concentrating on the negative), but rather focus on the positive aspects by looking at situations in your life where you have been able to accomplish things.

Ask yourself:

• What have I achieved in my life and career that I am really proud of?

• What obstacles or challenges have I faced and been able to work through?

• What personal resources/characteristics were needed in order for me to achieve this?

• What personal strengths have I leveraged to enable me to overcome those challenges?

Validating areas in your life and career will allow you to recognize that you do have the unique talents, strengths and characteristics that will allow you to work through any challenges, obstacles or fears.

Step 4: Take action A fitting quotation from Herber J. Grant comes to mind: ‘Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.’

Even if you have worked vigilantly through the first 3 steps the exercises will be of no real value to you unless you take action. Commit to taking action today, even if you begin with small steps.

• What step will you take today that will allow you to start taking action?

• When will you do this?

• What accountability factor will you put in place that ensures you take this step?

Step 2: Get specific Rather than trying to avoid your fears and letting them continue to block you from moving forward, begin to build some strategies that will allow you to begin breaking down the issues around your fears.

Make a firm commitment to yourself and stick to it!

Look at your list of fears and ask yourself:

In conclusion:

• What specific steps can I begin to take right now that will allow me to start facing my fears?

• What specific resources do I have accessible to me that will allow me to begin breaking down my fears?

• How will I start using those resources today?

Gaining a clearer understanding around each of the above four areas will support you in making a move into a role that is far meaningful, fulfilling and purposeful.

To your success!

Annemarie May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 47

Empowerment

Overcome Obstacles by Building Your Network The Right Relationships Can Move the World

By William R. Patterson

Many people run into obstacles and stumbling blocks because they are trying to do too much alone and have not taken the time to cultivate the proper relationships.

income, credibility, and odds for long-term success by offering turnkey solutions.

• We are in a society centered on productivity which I have often said "80% of your success will be the result of soft skills - your ability to network, form mentoring relationships, strategic partnerships, and political alliances.

Your network is a direct reflection of your net worth; build one and the other will grow."

Here are a few key points that will help you expand your circle of influence and network your way to greater wealth and success:

• Most people make the mistake of seeking help with an “I need” or “I want” mentality. Instead, focus on the value and benefit that you can bring to the people in your network. This will always create greater opportunities for you.

• Study the people you would like to build relationships with. Do your research and figure out what they value.

Perhaps they would appreciate you:

seeks instant gratification and the highest quality and quantity output with the least amount of effort. By presenting fleshed out, ready-made solutions that require little-to-no work on behalf of your mentors, colleagues, joint-venture partners, and customers, you can dramatically increase your buy-in, support, sales, customer retention, and referrals.

• Profit lies in reducing the amount of work that others must do to receive the benefit that your idea has to offer.

BARON Wealth and Business Success Actions: Begin by changing your perspective; view your business as an opportunity to network, not just sell.

1. Identify and enhance your value.

ο Creating a turnkey revenue opportunity for them. ο Generating free publicity for them. ο Introducing them to important contacts or a new

2. Seek out mentors, strategic partners and apprentices.

audience. ο Doing something for their favorite charity.

4. Look for people who are already achieving success, not those "in the process of figuring things out." It is not hard to find these people. They are often highlighted in the media.

• Take inventory of the skills, assets, and contacts that you

3. Ask others in your network to make connections.

bring to the table which can help them.

• You should not ask or expect "something for nothing."

You will have much greater success when building relationships with people if you appeal to their self-interest rather than their sense of obligation or good will.

You can get more people to help you by always showing up with a turnkey solution.

• No matter if you are a corporate executive, entrepreneur, or network marketer, you can significantly increase your 48 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

5. Do an internet search and join relevant online social networks and local "meet up" groups.

6. Attend industry associations and networking conferences.

Remember, "value" is the greatest attracting force of money and support in the world. So, always begin by identifying the benefit that you can create for the other person.

Empowerment

Making the Most of Your 401(k) Plan

By Dean G. Campbell

Every choice you make involves risk, and investing for retirement is no exception. Knowing how much risk you’re comfortable with can go a long way in preventing sleepless nights and uncertainty during volatile markets.

First: Pay off high-cost debt Let’s say you’re carrying $1,000 of debt on a credit card that charges 1.5 percent a month on the outstanding balance. Meanwhile, you get a $1,000 bonus. Should you use that bonus to pay off the credit card, or to invest in the 401(k)?

Pay off the credit card first. If you didn’t have to make a payment and just let that debt accumulate at 1.5% a month, at the end of a year it would be $1,195.62 -- for an effective rate of return (to the lender!) of 19.56 percent. Leaving it there for an additional year would raise the debt to $1,429.50. And the interest is not deductible -- you pay it with after-tax dollars. Not even a good 401(k) with a generous company match will keep up with that for long.

Once you’re not carrying high-cost debt, you’re ready to invest in your 401(k).

Next: Be comfortable with your 401(k) investments Selecting suitable investments should be done with care and understanding. To make sound choices, be sure to ask questions about the mutual funds available in your 401(k) plan. Mutual funds are sold by prospectus. Please consider the investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses carefully before investing. The prospectus, which contains this and other information, can be obtained by calling your financial advisor. Read it carefully before you invest.

Your retirement funds should be viewed as long-term investments, and capital growth is an important ingredient for long-term investment success. However, one year's outstanding results for a particular security may not be repeated the next year. So you'll need to make your selections with a view to consistent long-term performance.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 49

Empowerment

For each investment choice you're considering, read the information carefully. While many offering documents can appear forbidding, they contain a wealth of information about performance and risks.

performance figures and information about the managers' strategy for the future. Maintain files of your quarterly retirement-plan statements. This will help you see how your account is performing over time and make adjustments as needed.

Levels of risk Investment risk should be evaluated with an eye on the amount of time you have before you plan to retire. As a rule of thumb, if you’re more than 10 years from retirement, the percentage of non-stock investments in your portfolio should be about half of your age. For example, if you're in your twenties, a portfolio with about 90 percent equities and 10 percent cash and bonds may provide the right combination for your portfolio.

If you like, you can also track daily results by checking the net asset value (NAV) of each of your investments in your local newspaper or financial periodicals like the Wall Street Journal.

Remember the key things to consider in order to effectively manage your investment risk:

• Asset allocation cannot eliminate the risk of fluctuating prices and uncertain returns.

As you get older, you may need to have less of your money in stocks. In your 50s, for example, you may want to raise your non-stock proportion to 25 percent. And once you’re within 10 years of retirement, you may want to raise the non-stock proportion faster. However, over time stocks have outperformed bonds, so you may want to keep some of your money in stocks to provide the potential for capital growth and help manage your portfolio from erosion by inflation. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.

• Ask questions about the investment choices available

Most 401(k) retirement plans offer a variety of mutual-fund choices (each of which is itself diversified over a broad range of securities) offering different investment objectives and styles. You can adjust your portfolio by investing portions of your retirement dollars in various funds. Using several different types of funds may add an extra dimension of diversification within your portfolio. For example, if you’re just starting out in your career, you might invest 60 percent of your assets in an aggressive growth fund, 20 percent in a balanced fund (one that invests in both stocks and bonds), 10 percent in a global fund, and 10 percent in a bond fund.

•

Review your portfolio and risk tolerance every year or so As your circumstances change, your goals will change too.

And even if your goals remain the same from one year to the next, you'll need to make sure your portfolio is moving in the right direction.

Much can be learned from reading the annual and semiannual reports of the investments you've chosen for your plan. These reports typically show the specific companies, by industry group, in which you are invested -- as well as 50 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

to you.

• Read the prospectuses and company reports.

• Establish a balance between stocks and other invest-

• •

•

ments that gives you a good blend of growth potential and safety.

Adjust your balance among investments as you get closer to retirement.

Don't expect last year's performance by any investment to be matched next year.

Check your investments each year to make sure they're moving toward your goals.

Take an active interest in managing your retirement plan. It's your money.

Campbell Retirement Planning Centers does not render legal, accounting or tax advice. Please consult your CPA or attorney on such matters. The accuracy and completeness of this material are not guaranteed. The material is distributed solely for information purposes and is not a solicitation of an offer to buy any security or instrument or to participate in any trading strategy. Provided by courtesy of Campbell Retirement Planning Centers, 888-910-7526, 5334 Dixie Highway, Waterford, MI 48329.

Securities offered through Sigma Financial Corp. Member FINRA/SIPC

Empowerment

Seven Steps To Negotiating Successfully

By Greg Williams

When you negotiate, do you use a system? Do you haphazardly jump into a negotiation without any planning or thought for what you might do if you hit roadblocks? In order to negotiate successfully, good negotiators prepare before a negotiation.

The information that follows outlines seven steps you can use to negotiate successfully.

1. Gather Background Information: • When gathering background information, include the style, values, ethnicity, culture, demographics (younger negotiators on/using twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, and their way of communicating, versus those that are slower to use these mediums) and other information that’s pertinent to that particular negotiation session.

2. Assess your arsenal of negotiation tactics and strategies: • The more you’re aware of how to use the appropriate tactic with the appropriate strategy, applied at the appropriate time, the more options you’ll have and be able to execute during the negotiation.

6. Conduct a Postmortem: • Dissect the negotiation. Assess what went right – What could have been improved upon – What you learned from that negotiator about negotiation styles – What lessons should be taken forth into other negotiations – What went wrong – Why did it go wrong – What could you have done differently – What prevented you from using a better tactic/strategy to allow you to gain control of the negotiation).

7. Create a Negotiation Archive: • Create an archive of your negotiations and store them in a repository. Set up keywords to cross-reference sections, tactics, and strategies in your negotiation write-ups to be used for the extraction of quick ideas and serve as a resource, for future negotiations.

3. Create Your Negotiation Plan: • Consider the overall strategy you’ll use for the negotiation. Break strategies into tactics. Assess possible strategies the other negotiator might employ. Take into consideration the use of red herrings (Note: Red herrings are items that have little to no value to you that you position as having value, but items that possess real value to the other negotiator). Also consider how you might apply pressure to points (leverage) throughout the negotiation.

Whether you’re a negotiation neophyte or a seasoned professional, by using the platform of the “Seven Steps To Negotiating Successfully” as your negotiation foundation, you’ll be considerably ahead of the other negotiator and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

4. Engage in the Negotiation Process: • Observe body language and mannerisms. This can be done in person, via the phone, and in writing (e-mail, etc.). Note the style in which the other person negotiates (i.e. friendly (let’s get along), reserved (I’m not quite sure how this is going to go and I’m apprehensive), hostile (I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours – the only way for me to win is for you to lose – I’m in the driver’s seat; it’s my way or the highway).

The Negotiation Tips Are …

5. Closing the Negotiation: • Be on high alert for the conclusion of what you think is an agreement, serving as the next phase of the negotiation; in some cultures, this is a common practice. If you’re unsure of the other negotiators sincerity, put deliverables into phases of the negotiation.

• When negotiating, seek advantages that allow you to exploit your strength, but don’t disparage the other negotiator in your enthusiasm to obtain victory.

• When a negotiation outcome is less than expected, learn from the experience. Commit to getting better. Increase your knowledge of how to use the right tactic, with the right strategy(s), aligned with the right situation.

• Make sure you observe and control your biases when assessing the person with whom you’ll be negotiating.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 51

Empowerment

Having a small business plan is essential to your success. Learn how to plan and market your business with a four-step easy to follow guide. Get the best start possible on your new business!

How to Create a Winning Small Business Plan

By Dawn Abraham This is how I have created all the successful businesses for myself and for others.

One of the first things you want to do when starting your small business plan is to get a clear vision of what you want to manifest. It is really important that you know your purpose and where you are going before you start your business.

Small Business Marketing Plan Step One Start with your mission statement, what is your passion and motivation for your company?

This is the reason you are starting the company. Why would someone need your services or products? In writing this you will come up with your mission statement which is something you will live by to motivate not only yourself but anyone else working for you or with you.

An example would be, “My mission statement is to help 20 million entrepreneurs and professionals worldwide achieve success and higher awareness so they can reach their full potential by earning more money and working less.”

Do you want to know how to simply and effectively get your new small business plan to produce winning results in just a few short months?

It is vital that you have a vision and then, yes a plan. I’m going to make it very simple but extremely effective.

It doesn’t have to be one of those fifty page documents that no one wants to start let alone finish.

52 | Exceptional People Magazine | May-June 2011

In this mission statement I have targeted how many people I see myself and my company serving where they are located, who they are and what I can bring to the table.

Empowerment

You may want to write a page or two of what your vision is. Really let go and write with without limiting yourself.

Small Business Marketing Plan Step Two

What are the benefits of your service?

If you understand the value it will be easy to market. What sets you apart from your competition?

What are you selling?

Small Business Marketing PlanStep Three

What is your service or product?

Describe what you have to offer.

What different avenues can you take in marketing your business?

How are you going to sell or provide your service or products?

List all the many ways you will be able to do this. If you are going to sell products, are they your products that you will produce or actually ship out or are you going to sell someone else’s products and you are the middle man? There are many options here that you can research. For example; the cost of shipping and the time it will take you to pack and or produce the product versus having a web site and selling products through affiliates and letting them do all the work and you get a percentage. This percentage can be up to 50% in a lot of cases.

There are many of these opportunities available on the Internet. You can do a search to find them.

What are all the different types of services or products you could offer?

• Is it a service that you can put on a MP3, CD or DVD? • Write a “How to book”, or e-book?

• Are there complimentary products that can be sold with the service -extras that enhance it?

• What types of workshops or classes can you make available?

Think big. There are many different approaches you can use to expand your sales.

• Internet • Magazines • Word of mouth • Radio • Television • E-mail • Direct mail • Networking Groups • Presentation offers of free teleseminars or in person workshops • Give a ways • Blogs • Writing and submitting articles on the internet and in local papers

It is a win/win situation for both of you. You win because you can now bring your products to sell and if you have a service, announce what you offer and what they will get if they take your extended course, etc. The owner of that website or store wins because they will get business since you are going through them. They get the traffic your free workshop generates.

What do you want your business to look like in one year?

This would be what you plan to achieve your first year. By the end of that year what will you have accomplished? This would include your financial goals as well.

What do you want your business to look like in five years?

Really think big. The sky is the limit.

This may change but have a vision so you know what path to take in building it. Include your financial goals.

If you don’t know what your passion is, realize that is one reason for your existence - to find it.

Small Business Marketing PlanStep Four Who are your ideal clients?

Do some research to find out what type of people would be interested in your service or product. This way you know where to advertise. What types of magazines do they read?

What type of web sites would they be a part of?

Where are these people? Where would you find them? Once you know that you can go to those places and talk with the owners of the store or web site, you can offer to do a free workshop or seminar.

May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 53

Empowerment

Happiness Takes Work: Five Choices to Create Happiness

By Dr. Margaret Paul

Happiness does not just happen - it takes work! Learn about the five choices that happy people consciously and consistently make in their thinking and behavior that create their happiness.

All of us have met people who just seem to be happy most of the time.

Perhaps you have assumed that these people are just naturally happy, or that they are the lucky people who have an easy life, or they had really loving parents. Most of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Happy people are making specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. Happy people CONSCIOUSLY choose to think and behave in ways that result in happiness.

Unhappy people are UNCONSCIOUSLY thinking and behaving in ways that create unhappiness.

Following are five of the specific choices that happy people make: Optimism Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people choose to be pessimistic - to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in charge and open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer. Happy people realize that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that

leads to manifestation. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in ways that manifest their dreams.

Kindness Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves and others. Happy people have learned that how they treat themselves and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness is the result.

Forgiveness Happy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realize that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness and forgive them their hurtful behavior.

Because happy people tend not to take personally others' uncaring behavior, they don't get their feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take others' behavior personally. Happy people recognize that another's behavior is really about that other person, so they move into compassion toward themselves and others rather than into judgment.

Acceptance Happy people realize what they can control and what they can't. They live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the

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things they cannot change and changing the things they can. Unhappy people are constantly trying to change people and circumstances and do not accept their lack of control. As a result, they are constantly frustrated.

Happy people realize they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on what they can control - their own thinking and behavior. Acceptance of what they can and cannot control leads to happiness and inner peace.

Gratitude Finally, happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather than complaining about what they don't have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude for the everyday things in their lives - the beauty of nature, the food they eat, the smile on a friend's face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they are missing out on.

If you want to be happy, then you need to recognize that happiness is the result of your thinking and behavior, not the cause of it. If you choose to practice Inner Bonding and focus on becoming conscious of what thoughts and behavior make you feel happy, you can become a happy person - regardless of your present circumstances. Happiness does not just happen - it takes work!

A New Way of Recruiting for a New World

By James Adonis

rest of the marketing mix until you get this part right.

Two decades ago,

Develop a marketing mindset

companies stood out from their competitors based on their product differentiation. But the advent of technology meant that it wasn't long before a competitor caught up. One decade ago, companies differentiated themselves by their provision of excellent customer service, but again, it wasn't long before every company was providing the same kind of service.

Your recruitment team does not belong in Human Resources; it belongs in your Marketing department.

Now, the world's most competitive companies are those with the most talented employees. These are the same companies that will survive and thrive in the future. To keep up, a whole new way of recruiting has emerged.

There are more jobs available than employees, which means that we need to market to prospective employees in the same way that companies market to customers - by using the Four Ps of Marketing: product, price, place, and promotion.

Product: Are you an 'Employer of Choice'? What are you doing to make sure that your existing employees are engaged, motivated, and developed?

Do your current employees tell others how great it is to work for your company? If not, then your 'Product' needs to be the first thing you fix. If your Product isn't right, forget about the

Price: Are your wages and benefits competitive with the rest of the market? Employees don't expect to be paid the highest; they desire to be paid fairly. And price isn't just monetary. There are many things that employees view as more superior to money, such as: flexibility, work location, the job itself, the people they'll work with, influence in the organization, potential opportunities, and so on.

Place: Where are you searching for your ideal candidate? We need to move away from the traditional methods of finding employees. Online and paper advertising are the most common methods of recruiting, which means you're competing with a large group of employers amongst a small

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pool of people. Instead, go where your competitors aren't. Get creative.

Be specific about the kind of person you want, and then go to where they are. Search for passive job seekers people that aren't even looking for work but who may be tempted by an amazing offer.

Promotion: These days, employees receive more than just one job offer at the same time. So why should they choose you? Break away from your corporate-speak and start using language that appeals to your desired target market. Use exciting and youthful language when writing ads and job descriptions for Generation Y, and perhaps the opposite if you're looking to recruit a Veteran.

Employee Value Proposition (EVP) In its simplest form, an EVP comes down to just one point: why should someone work for your company and no other?

ployer brand - an EVP that screams "we are fun, innovative, people focused, growing, and progressive".

Bank has as much difficulty attracting talented Baby Boomers as their competitors? Unlikely.

If people started working for Virgin and they found it to be bureaucratic with archaic processes and unapproachable management, they'd have a high rate of staff turnover. Incidentally, they don't, and as a result they have little trouble attracting and retaining talent.

Other companies have done this brilliantly as well. Google offers its employees '20-percent time', which means they can work on any project they want for one-fifth of the time they're at work. McDonald's offers its staff in the UK 'family contracts'. The point I'm making is this: these companies have people like me singing their praises all around the world simply because they've done something outstanding for their employees. The result? They get employees wanting to work for them without even needing to advertise.

The number one reason why employees resign within the first six months of employment is because their expectations haven't been met. Often, this is due to an EVP that's incongruent with what the culture is really like.

Conduct job previews, where employees get a chance to see what the job is really like, and have a frank discussion at the interview stage regarding each party's expectations, and you'll reduce the early termination rate that many companies experience.

Stand out!

When I help companies to develop their own unique EVP, many suggestions that are put forward by eager managers include: "this is a great place to work", "we have lots of opportunities", and many other statements that are interesting - but not unique. The strongest EVPs, the ones that are the most successful, are those that explicitly and implicitly tell potential employees, "you are going to get something here that you can't get anywhere else".

So, what's your EVP? If you're like most organizations, you probably don't have one.

When polls are conducted internationally to discover the companies which employees prefer to work with, the Virgin Group comes out on top. This is because Virgin has created an em-

One of Australia's biggest banks, St George Bank, recently announced that if you're one of their employees and you're a grandparent, you're entitled to grandparents leave. This is an acknowledgment of the fact that in this day and age, grandparents are increasingly relied upon to look after their grandchildren. In this instance, if you're a Baby Boomer in Australia and you're struggling to handle your family commitments, you'd be crazy to work anywhere else!

As a result of that announcement, St George Bank received an incredible amount of media coverage - which equates to free advertising! Follow their example. Come up with an employee perk that is so outrageous, so "out-there", that it gets you heaps of publicity. Do you think that St George

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Hire people you don't need Finding talented employees is tough these days - you know that; which is why you should grab them when you come across someone exceptional.

Even if you haven't got any job vacancies at present, hire them anyway, and give them a project to work on until a suitable job becomes available.

Take flexibility to a new level Make your company so unbelievably convenient to work for and you'll attract the very best people into your business.

Best Buy is an American company that has initiated 100% flexibility.

This means that their employees can work whenever they want, wherever they want, as much as they want. The only measure of performance is... performance. I'm convinced that within five years, every company in the world will need to offer 100% flexibility just to be able to remain competitive. The question is this: will you be a market leader in your industry, or will you be a follower, forced to offer

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this just because your competitors got in first?

love to work for your company - but be careful that you don't oversell the role or the organization.

Ex-employees Stay in contact with your exemployees. Alumni programs are the key to this.

Progressive companies are realizing that by rehiring their ex-employees, known as boomerangs, they save about one-third of the cost of hiring a standard employee. Plus, these employees come back with more experience and lucratively, competitor knowledge.

Stay in touch by sending monthly emails notifying ex-employees of job vacancies, send quarterly newsletters, permit access to a limited intranet, give them a call every six months to see how they're going, invite them to company social events so that they maintain important relationships. After all, employee loyalty to companies is decreasing whereas employee loyalty to their peers is increasing.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Take advantage of it.

Real talent doesn't hang around. If you need more than one or two interviews per candidate or if it takes your company forever to make a decision, there's something seriously wrong with your management team's recruiting skills. Interview and recruitment training should be compulsory for every manager who is responsible for selecting the people who eventually work for your company.

The power has shifted from the employer to the worker. With companies now desperately vying and fighting to attract the most talented candidates, the way that we recruit needs to adapt for this volatile climate. The working world has changed forever.

Interviews In interviews, it's not just us managers doing the interviewing - we're being interviewed by the candidates as well.

So who's doing the interviewing in your company? Use only your most inspirational people and the most successful. In a world where employees are receiving multiple job offers at the same time, the manager you have fronting them and building the initial relationship, can determine whether they say "yes" to your job offer - or someone else's.

At the end of every interview, candidates should leave with a positive impression. They must feel like they'd May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 57

Rawle Andrews, Jr., Esq. Regional Vice President American Association of Retired Persons (AARP)

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As an attorney and the Regional Vice President for AARP, Rawle Andrews, Jr. has confronted many challenges.

Often viewed by many as an organization offering discounts to senior citizens, AARP is much more than that. It provides an abundance of benefits that many people may not be aware of. Andrews is responsible for ensuring that it all comes together and runs smoothly. He oversees various programs for 850,000 members.

“In some respects they are our constituents, but they also are our volunteers. They also are our partners in several of our collaborative efforts to try to make a difference for people 50 and older and their families,” stated Andrews.

“I would split my job into thirds, if you will. One-third of my job is the general administration and management of the business and financial affairs of AARP’s business in the state of Maryland. The second phase or the second third of my job is to run and oversee our advocacy operations, which some people would call lobbying. And the third is really in the public education and community outreach phase of the work we do, so you

might call it external communications, on what AARP is, what it does, and how you can get involved.”

Andrews shared with Exceptional People Magazine what he enjoys about his position and what he enjoys most about helping AARP members live healthy and productive lives.

EPM: Why did you decide to become an attorney?

Rawle: I believe that I always wanted to find a career in law, even though my father was a physician, his uncle and mentor was a physician and my younger brother also is a medical doctor. And I think my ability to help folks know their rights, have those rights enforced, was only going to be from a mouthpiece where legal training was available. That doesn’t mean a lot of people don’t watch Law and Order; they can figure out what lawyers do, and sometimes they do it pretty successfully. But ultimately the classical legal training, I think, does give me a chance to give voice to the voiceless, whether that’s a corporation, a government entity, or an individual.

EPM: You received your JD with honors, and you also received the 2006 Pro Bono Lawyer of the Year award. How important is it for attorneys to do pro bono work?

Rawle: I believe that if you read 99 out of 100 law school essays over the last 25 to 30 years, almost every one of them would say, “Please admit me to your law school,” no matter where the law school is, “because I want to be able to give back to the community, and the only way I can do it is to be a lawyer.” That being said, people get in, the golden handcuffs come out and then, suddenly, they take a job on K Street or Wall Street, or wherever the street may be, and they find that it becomes difficult with family and other commitments to give back.

But I think if that’s where you started, that your plans were that you would be committed to public service in that way, that you would know your obligations. So it becomes an obligation deferred, not an obligation you aren’t aware of. The other thing I would say is – but this is really, really important – I believe the reason why I was honored with that award is because there is a difference between pro bono and community service.

And I’ll give you an example. If I’m a lawyer trained in lawyer skills, the best way I can give back is to take my professional expertise and help somebody who has modest means and make their life a little better. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and go build somebody’s back yard playground, or

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plant trees, or clean up the park or something like that. That certainly is valuable service and needed service in the community, but where do people really need help?

The reality of it is, when Martin Luther King was in jail in Birmingham, he needed a lawyer to get him out, not a gardener, not a doctor, or pharmacist. So I think when professionals use their professional tools for the public good, that’s pro bono in my book.

EPM: You also received a community service award for the DC Coalition for Housing Justice.

Rawle: I did, and a lot of that was related to helping people who either were in predatory loans or who were in foreclosure rescue scams, so they could keep their family housing. A lot of my pro bono has been in the affordable housing arena, because I believe if the house is not right, everything else falls apart. The home has to be the castle. So it’s been easy for me to use my professional training to help people in those scenarios, as well as teaching about housing issues at Howard University.

EPM: What have you found to be most rewarding about being an attorney?

Rawle: I think every day when I wake up, I know I have a real opportunity to help someone. And that’s when I pick up the phone, write a letter, send an e-mail, or have a meeting.

Because they come to you with a problem and they know there has been wrongdoing – sometimes they don’t legally know how it happened or why it happened. But they feel in their DNA that they’ve been wronged, and they need a road map – a Mapquest, if you will – to try to find the solution to it.

Sometimes the fact that they’ve been wronged morally, in our system of laws doesn’t mean that there’s a legal remedy for that. But if I can help someone say, “Well, you know what, I know you feel badly about it, but they weren’t required to tell you X, Y, or Z,” I hope I’m saving you some time. People don’t always see the value in me giving my hour or two hours to explain that to them. But I am saving them from a roadblock, because if you go to court, you’re going to waste money filing a lawsuit and it’s going to be dismissed – but there is a value in doing that.

But I do feel that every day I get up, I am in an honorable profession – although sometimes lawyers don’t behave honorably. I have an opportunity to make a difference every day --

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whether I take that opportunity or not, that’s on me.

EPM: You’ve been with the Maryland state AARP office for quite a while. In your current position, what is your main role as Regional Vice President?

Rawle: I think I would split my job in thirds, if you will. One-third of my job is the general administration and management of the business and financial affairs of AARP’s business in the state of Maryland. The second phase or the second third of my job is to run and oversee our advocacy operations, which some people would call lobbying. And the third is the public education and community outreach phase of the work we do, so it can be called external communications -- what AARP is, what it does and how you can become involved and so forth.

I wish I could tell you, that every time I come here, I have a list and the first three things on my list are management, the second three things are advocacy, and so forth. Every time I put a list of ten together, I’m lucky if I get three of them done, no matter what basket it happens to be in on any particular day. In Maryland, we have 850,000 members, so in some respects they are our constituents but they are also our volunteers.

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They are our partners in several collaborative efforts to make a difference for people 50 and older and their families.

EPM: What attracted you to AARP? Rawle: Well, it’s funny -- whether I was attracted to AARP or AARP found me I really don’t know the answer to that question, but it all kind of dovetails around the pro bono award that you spoke about earlier. When predatory lending first came to my attention, a gentleman came to my office to tell me that he was in an upside-down loan, and none of the promises the bank made were kept.

There was no way he could ever pay his mortgage. This was about the summer of 2004. Nobody was really talking a lot about predatory lending then and I didn’t know a lot about it, because in my former professional life, I had worked with banks.

I did a lot of business banking as a deal-breaker, but I wasn’t really familiar with predatory lending. So I said, “Well, as I’m doing my due diligence, I don’t know that you really have a case. You signed a loan, you took the money, and you’re in your house, but let me see if I can do some research.” And so I was looking for courses where I could do continuing education to learn about predatory lending and what the anatomy of those cases was and lo and behold,

AARP was offering a class. And the only requirement, if you came to the class, was that you had to agree to handle at least two bro bono cases. I ended up handling about 15 cases and probably consulting on about another 20, inside and outside of the District of Columbia. I advised people in Hawaii, in Minnesota. I actually had a trial in Dallas. What made me proud, with divine intervention and knocking on wood, is between 2004 and 2006, nobody we worked with lost their home.

There were some days that were dark.

The reality of it is that we were able to come up with the strength and the creative solutions – sometimes community support. Sometimes people don't realize the impact that a voluntary appearance can have upon a judge. And I’d say, “You need to tell everybody in your friend and family network that this is serious.” I know a lot of times we don’t like to talk about troubles we’re having, but if the judge sees that the community cares about these issues and that everybody’s potentially at risk, he or she may give you favor that day – and it worked. Ultimately, by the time I did that and the award came, Legal Counsel for the Elderly under AARP was seeking a managing attorney.

EPM: How does it feel to know that you have approximately 850,000

lives that you are responsible for as the Regional Vice President?

Rawle: When I first heard that I had 850,000 constituents and members, it didn’t sound that daunting. It was just a number on a page. AARP has almost 40 million members, so the reality of it is at some level everybody’s responsible, good or bad, for every one of those 40 million. So it didn’t seem when I was talking about the promotion, the opportunity, that it was that daunting. But in reality, constituent casework is constituent casework, no matter what.

So in a membership-type organization, you can get calls from any and everybody, including people who are elected officials but also who happen to be dues-paying members of AARP. They ask, “Why are you doing this?

Why haven’t you done that?” And they want an answer. If you don’t have an immediate answer, they don't want to wait 20 years for green bananas to grow yellow to get that answer. So in reality, it is manageable, but I can tell you that it is an awesome privilege and responsibility to know that that many people are relying on you.

EPM: Well, you’re performing a great service, so it’s worth it, I would imagine. What are some specific ser-

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vices and products offered by AARP which make the organization unique?

Rawle: Oh, I think that the two singular priorities of AARP which people rely on regardless of age, if they’re a wage-earner, are Social Security and Medicare. And people who pay into FICA expect that when the time comes for them to receive the paid-in benefit, they’re going to get their money back at a reasonable rate of return. They don't expect Congress or anyone else to tamper with their benefits. That is where we are; that is where we’re going to stand.

From a standpoint of protecting Medicare, for the most part the recipients are 65 and older. There are some exceptions such as people with disabilities -- and you have to prove them.

For a lot of people the only income they have – one in five people – is Social Security. The only medical insurance they have is through Medicare. And I think people rely on us to do that. But beyond that, AARP is much more because by having 40 million members what we’re able to do is leverage that network to provide goods and services at reasonable rates.

EPM: What are some areas where you believe AARP can possibly improve?

Rawle: We are making great strides to accommodate a growing older population in America. But the reality is while we have large numbers of African-American members – over two million – we don’t believe we’ve done our best to demonstrate the benefits AARP can offer to them. In many instances what we’re finding is that African-Americans are aware of AARP but they don’t know why it’s relevant to them.

Hispanics and Latinos is another area of multiculturalism where we could be doing better. While we have well over a million members in HispanicLatino populations, what we find is that many times they are not aware of AARP. If they don’t speak English as a first language, there is nothing similar to AARP in other countries, except the government. They're not going to voluntarily give money and turn their information over to this entity, without knowing what will be done with that information.

EPM: With your attorney background, do you help individual members of AARP, or do you represent the organization?

Rawle: In the Legal Counsel for the Elderly position, I advised the department and individuals. In my current position we don’t actively practice law on behalf of individuals, but we

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put them in touch with folks, including our legal services network at AARP, who can actually provide that information.

EPM: Your job requires that you travel a lot. How do you balance that with your personal life and family life?

Rawle: I have a very understanding family, and I try like the dickens to make sure that when I’m at work, I’m at work, but when I’m at home, I’m at home. So I don’t bring my laptop home – I’m not saying I never get on a PDA or a Blackberry from time to time – but if I’m at home, I’m at home. In terms of travel, being in close proximity to headquarters, a lot of times when the meetings are in the Washington area, I stay at home in lieu of staying at a hotel – I think that saves AARP money, but it gives me more time at home.

EPM: What would you say to people who think that they don’t need AARP? Rawle: Well, usually, at first blush, what I say is that you cannot and will not hasten death by opening an AARP birthday card or joining AARP. But the other thing I would say is life, like any game, doesn’t end until the second half is over. And the reality is everything we do and everything we

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see tells us if you’re not prepared, you’re already struggling with matters such as older parents who are facing health issues and that can place a drain on you, your income and your time. You’re already dealing with younger kids who are not being taught how handle aging, so you’re going to be a burden to them when you become your parents’ age.

When we have a family reunion, we want to make sure one of the programs we talk about is nutrition and wellness. When we have a family reunion or a patriarch or matriarch birthday, we want to talk about wellness and family planning, and those types of things. But on a more basic level we fight utility companies to keep the rates reasonable and prevent shut-offs from being handled in an unfair or unreasonable manner. People don’t know we’re doing that.

EPM: What kind of footprint or legacy would you like to leave with respect to your position as Regional Vice President for AARP?

how to age. And the reason why I say that is because everything that brought us to this phone call, somebody taught us how to do it or we watched somebody do it. Would you agree with that?

When it comes to aging, all we do is have birthdays, whether we choose to celebrate them or not. And there are consequences of not learning how to age properly. So what I want to do is help people plan for aging. I want to help people know how to plan for disability. I want people to be comfortable with having a plan for the hereafter, so that when they leave their loved ones, there will be no riot at the repast. I’ve been to one riot at the repast – I’ve been to one too many.

And so that’s what I’m hoping for, is that having been here and shared some of my experiences and expertise, I've been able to help. I want people to learn how to age, so they can live the way they want to live until it’s time for them to go home to glory.

Rawle: I am truly committed to our mission and vision of helping people live better in the second half of life. I would hope because I was here, having been on the legal side of some issues that complicate the second half of life, that I would be in the vanguard of having helped people learn May-June 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 63

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Thank you...Founder, Monica Davis