Exceptional People Magazine - January/February 2011 Part Two

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Extraordinary Profiles

January-February 2011

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Cover Story— Barbara Cull– A Visionary and Advocate for Children and Families in Need

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Exceptional Children’s Foundation– Life Measured in Love

CONTENTS

Inspiration 83

Now is The Time to Claim Your Extraordinary Life

85

Mirror, Mirror of Myself

86

Enrico Thomas—New York’s Subway Artist Transforms His Abused Childhood Into a Life of Masterpieces

The Lighter Side 96

Don’t Misunderstand Me

398 Adopting Some New Resolutions

Cover Photo by Lisa Kelly

99

Profile Resources

100 Writers and Contributors

The world is in your hands. You have the power to change it .

A precious treasure lies within you. Reveal it.

barbara cull Barbara Cull has dedicated her entire life to helping children and families challenged by learning disabilities, developmental delays, emotional challenges and chronic medical problems.

As a person who struggled with a learning disability and raised a learning-disabled child, she thoroughly understands the time, effort and compassion required to work with these individuals to help them become successful and productive citizens. She has been recognized locally and nationally by the White House, federal, state and local authorities as an innovative leader in special education.

She gained personal experience from a serious illness which almost resulted in her death. This gave her a renewed vision and she decided to use her second chance at life to prove that every child can reach his or her full potential.

With that in mind she mortgaged her home to start Education Resources and Services (ERAS) to provide services to at-risk children.

For the past 35 years, as the Founder and Director of the Kayne-ERAS Center in California, Cull has been determined to affect positive change in these precious souls. She has developed a best-practices educational model that received national and international commendation for its ability to be replicated in other communities.

Both Cull and the ERAS Center have been honored with awards, including the National Association of Women Business Owners Joan Sheridan Memorial Award, Ernst & Young’s 1996 Entrepreneur of the Year Award and Champion of the Children Award.

It was an enlightening experience to hear Cull speak of her work through ERAS, as well as her partnership with the Exceptional Children’s Foundation.

A Visionary and Advocate for Children and Families In Need

68 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2011

Monica: In 1980 you encountered a lifechanging event pertaining to your health, which gave you a new perspective on life.

Barbara: Yes. I went in for a routine surgery, and there was a thing called a pulmonary embolism. I almost lost my life. It affected the healing process to the point where three times they lost me and three times they brought me back. The last time when I went to visit our higher power, I asked him if he would let me live to raise my two kids. I said I would devote the rest of my life to help make the lives of other children better and that I would find a way to take care of them as if they were my own, especially those with special needs.

So for me it was a second chance to do what was intended for me. Sometimes you don’t wake up to these things unless you’re challenged. It took a year for me to get out of the bed because it took a year for the wound to heal. That time was probably a very important time for me to reflect on what I needed to do. I’ve been in education and in special education. I have a child who, if it hadn’t been for the fact that I was working at UCLA and had a several interns under me, would never have learned to read. In second grade they called me and said, “Your son’s a bad kid. He just punched somebody in the face.”

I said, “My son?” I said, “We’re hippies. We don’t hit people.” We solve our problems with words. There are no guns in our house.

There’s nothing like that. I was really strict about it. They were good kids. I knew that something had to be wrong.

Then, of course, I realized that being in the field my kid was like the kids I had been working with. He was not able to read and write in the second grade, even though he

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Extraordinary Profiles

was identified as being gifted in kindergarten. They were now going to send him off to “the special ed class”. I couldn’t bear that so I said, “I’m taking him out of this school. I’m going to move him over to the other school that UCLA is working with up the street. I’ll find a way for him to go there in the morning to his gifted program, and I’ll get him at noon and take him to my place to see if we can’t help him. I did that for two years and, thankfully, with the help of these wonderful people who eventually became my staff when I started my own place, he learned to read.

My thought was that I could give that gift to another parent – in those days there was no funding. I decided if there was something I could do, I would put my money where my mouth was, and I mortgaged my home. I had envisioned a community resource and service center where all kids and families could have access regardless of the nature of their disability. One of the things about special education is they can be prejudiced sometimes.

They discriminate. “You can’t bring your autistic kid here. I don’t want my kid with that kid.” I said, “This is not going to happen for me. This is not what I want to happen if it was my child.” So I decided I wanted the children to get all that they needed, and if I had to raise money, I would.

In the beginning I figured out ways to bring dollars in, in addition to fundraising. Who wants to make money off the backs of children? Not I. So we offered opportunities for training. We would get interns in so that we wouldn’t have to spend as much on staffing. We tried to be as creative as possible. I also believed that these children needed a gifted curriculum. It didn’t matter if they had autism or other developmental delays. They needed that enriched curriculum just like gifted kids, if not more. We included all of the arts and my kids became entrepreneurs. We ran a vegetarian café.

We tried to do a lot of things that not only helped them learn and understand what they were learning more effectively, but integrated them into the community.

the world. It’s what’s in their heads that matters. So what I learned from it is that there are ways to help these children, that what they need to receive is intensive services. They receive thirty minutes of speech once a week. They don’t receive the intervention that they need to turn things around, to give that child success.

So what I learned from working with my child is that it had to be something that didn’t deprive him of being part of the mainstream. We are called a mainstream school even though we’re a state-certified non-public school. We are probably the most integrated school you’ll ever see.

Monica: You also had a personal experience with a learning disability.

Barbara: Yes. I didn’t know that until I was in the business, as they say. I realized it because I too have difficulty with writing, getting my words on paper. There are all kinds of dyslexias or learning differences. Even though I could read, I couldn’t write. I started ditching school in the second grade. By the 10th grade I wasn’t going anymore. I was going to work. Luckily, my parents both worked, so they didn’t know where I was. I would get home in time to get my brother and sister and make dinner. I couldn’t go to school anymore. I couldn’t learn there.

I went to work in a hospital and learned science there. Finally, when they saw I didn’t have all of my credits, thank God I had been working in the hospital all of those years doing lab and x-ray work. They gave me credits and said, “Just get out of here. Go away, and don’t bother us.” They thought I was nuts, so they made me take a psychology test to prove that I actually could do school work and show up every day.

Monica: The fact that you had to work with your son to try to help meet his needs, what did that teach you? What did you learn from that process?

I attended City College. Foreign language was a nightmare for me. I got through two years, and that was it. Geometry was the real bane of my existence. Luckily, there was a professor who said, “Why don’t you tell me the answers? We know you know the answer.” I began to realize that instead of trying to get everything down, I could use my voice. I would cry when I had to speak in class. I couldn’t even open my mouth. I was so humiliated by my “lack of ability”. But I learned over time that was going to be my strength rather than my greatest weakness.

Barbara: Well, the first thing I learned was after my son said to me, “Can’t you just be my mom and not my teacher?” Children find it very difficult to fail in front of their parents. You can be the most wonderful person in

One thing about people with learning differences is that they can’t always perform on demand. One day they’re on, and one day they’re not. That’s one of the challenges resulting from these problems.

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Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: Despite those obstacles, you managed to get a master’s degree in education and also business.

Barbara: Yes, I did because it was for my center. It’s like when you have a mission and a vision, and you know that it can help make a difference, but you’ve got to make it happen. If you don’t go through the struggle, it’s not going to happen. If I hadn’t had professors or people who understood, I don’t think I would have made it through.

Monica: You have achieved an amazing level of success in the field of special education, both nationally and internationally. The model that you have developed has proven to be a well recognized model. How does it feel to know that you have achieved something that is recognized internationally?

Barbara: I wish I could do more. I wish there was a way to share this with as many people as possible because people all over the world are challenged to make a life for their children. As I’ve always believed, the only way you’re going to have a participatory government, a place where there is democracy, a world where there is equality is when people have enough information to know how to make things happen for themselves. I really believe that the only way we will ever have the best world is through education. I don’t mean just knowledge, I mean knowing how to solve problems. I think education should be more than just teaching kids information, teach them not only to help themselves but how they might be able to contribute to others.

This summer I did a project with the kids where we took out all the old, broken toys and junk we had in the storage and all the blocks and the puzzles and everything. We pulled it all out, and we decided we were going to each make it our dream. So they built their dream out of these recycled materials that were going to be thrown away.

Each one had to tell me how they were going to do this, if they had to go to school, what was it going to take? And you know what? Every one of them was going to save some part of the world. They were going to save animals.

They were going to save the manatee. They were going to save people. They were going to do something to make the place better, and I was so inspired by all of that.

Monica: You merged the Educational Resources Services Center and the Exceptional Children’s Foundation.

How did the merger come about?

Barbara: My original vision was to have a center that served children from birth and adults through old age.

When the opportunity arose, we had babies and older people and we had everything else in the middle. It seemed like a perfect fit. Because our values are so much the same, it was a good fit, and we were able to strengthen both organizations by being partners. It was a good business decision as well as a way of achieving the final result.

Now the best part is that the pieces are there, all the components, the problematic pieces. There is a model for each of the aspects, ranging from what a child might need all the way to the senior citizens. Some of my clients are becoming senior citizens.

Now the time has come where we can take all of this to the next step. My current project is what we call the Institute.

The Institute is where we bring university people and researchers, community people, leaders, organizations together to identify the challenges that we are facing to determine what we should be looking at and studying.

So our goal for the Institute is to take this data, bring it together, bring these various people together to collaborate and identify what we can do to transform education to meet our children’s needs.

Monica: What can parents do to help foster the care of their child who might be challenged by a learning or developmental disability? What can they do to get the child on the right track?

Barbara: They must become an advocate. They must become as knowledgeable and informed as possible. There are laws and there are rights that children and families have. When I started there were no programs; there are now because we fought for them. There were no schools. There were no behavior management services for families with autistic children because no one was fighting. So parents should make themselves as knowledgeable as possible.

Your kid can succeed if they get what they need, and you are probably the only one who’s going to be able to get it for them. I know everyone is in difficult financial times. I know the districts don’t have their money, but there’s nobody that’s going to help your kid but yourself in the end.

You’re going to have to be the one that hangs on.

Monica: What are some of the main sources of funding for the organization to keep it operating?

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Barbara presenting the Golden Bulldog, the Kayne Eras mascot, to Exceptional Children's Foundation CEO, Scott Bowling at the 2007 gala honoring the merger of ECF and Kayne Eras.

Barbara: The main sources of funding are some of the fees-for-service that we receive for serving the children that the school districts can no longer serve. The children are placed with us when they feel they’re too difficult and they don’t know what to do with them. The children are sent to what are called state-certified non-public schools which must meet a higher standard of criteria than public schools. So we receive fees for service, or the regional centers may pay fees for the developmentally disabled.

We also provide private consulting services to the community. We rely a lot on fundraising, as you can imagine.

We raise $250,000 a year for the school and the other monies are for our programs that don’t receive sufficient funds.

Monica: How long do the kids stay in the program?

Barbara: They stay until they are ready to transition back into public school. If the district won’t pay for it, we’ll supplement that money. We have to find ways to let them get what they need. Let’s say they need to stay in school for three years. They will. Then our goal is to have them graduate from our school. Last year we graduated 25 young people, 16 of whom are planning to attend college, and the others are in vocational training programs.

What that means is that those people are going to be able to make a life for themselves. Sometimes kids graduate 72 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2011

out of elementary school back into public school. Sometimes they still continue to need services for several years after that. It depends on when we get them and how much damage has been done before they arrive. They have to have been acting out an awful lot or be a danger to themselves and others before we’ll ever get to see them.

Monica: What do you look for in a teacher or associate when you bring them on board to work with the kids?

Barbara: Well, the way we actually end up hiring people is by having them interviewed by the team. So the team consists of, let’s say, the speech therapist, the classroom teacher, the counselor, the occupational therapist and the principal. Those people are all going to be part of the interview. What we look for is somebody who has, first of all, the adequate training and knowledge to fill the position. For teachers, they have to have the credentials. Excellence is a part of what the center has always been about. If you raise things to higher standards, you’re going to succeed. If you just say, “So what? We don’t need the best teacher,” or “That teacher is not doing very well with that child. We need to switch them around, or we need to give them feedback or train them,” you’re just doing what the public school does. You’re playing the same game.

Barbara with Dr. Robert Shushan, founder of ECF.

We have to have someone who can show others what to do. From the young woman who sits at the receptionist desk and the person who drives the bus, everybody has to take initiative when they’re with a child who has special needs or that child may be hurt or injured. We train everybody. Everyone is a part of the therapeutic environment, and everyone can be a leader, and they can tell us whether we’re doing things right or wrong. If all the perspectives aren’t considered, what you end up with is one person making all the decisions and those decisions may not be effective for the majority of the people.

Monica: Do you focus mainly on the Los Angeles area?

Barbara: Yes, that’s where the model center is. We have others replicate the things that we do. We’ve had people come from Korea. We’ve had people come from Japan to see how we work with children, especially those with developmental delays. Then they take it and make it their own, we hope. We share it with them.

Monica: How well do the kids interact with each other?

Barbara: They do very well. I believe that the beauty of having K through 12 is that that big bear up there who is so cranky and angry because he can’t perform certain academic skills will come down and take care of that lit-

tle autistic kid in kindergarten and be the best teddy bear you ever met. It’s a wonderful thing because I think that we have very strict guidelines in terms of what is acceptable behavior. No one should ever call anyone a name. If they do, they must write a letter of apology or solve it verbally right away. We never let anything fester. No one may ever strike anyone, and if they do, they have to leave the building and come back with an adult, sit down and solve problems with words. No drugs and no gangs are permitted in the building because they attract danger to our little kids.

They need to be protected from all of that. The most important part of all of this is that everybody must respect each other and realize that we’re in it together. If we don’t help each other, we’re not going to be successful.

We have what is called “In-house”. When I was a kid, and I would get in trouble, my mother would say, “Get in the house.” That meant that I needed to be under adult supervision. We have a counseling staff, interns that go to a room where they can be with this person. If they’re angry, they can talk about it. They can discuss it. They don’t get out of doing their work. Then we discover which is it, the work or is it something that happened at home.

Monica: Are there kids in the program who have been diagnosed with ADD? January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 73

Extraordinary Profiles

Barbara: Oh, yes, lots and lots.

Monica: From that perspective, it seems that doctors quickly and willingly prescribe medicine. Do you believe prescribing medicine is the most effective way to deal with the issue?

Barbara: No. I believe that there are so many other alternatives to taking this kid with this energy and teaching him to use it effectively. Is he going to be on drugs his whole life? Not only that, but ultimately, they wear off.

They don’t work. So my belief is you can shape the environment to allow them to become successful learners and at the same time learn how to help themselves.

We use a variety of other ways. We’ve had success in working with the Mindfulness Institute at UCLA that uses meditation and mindfulness as a way of helping them cope with the challenges. It’s been effective.

Monica: Do you think diet plays a role in ADD? Barbara: I think everything in the environment affects our children, whether it’s the pollution, whether it’s the food they eat, the amount of exercise they get, what television shows they watch, all of that affects them. We’re the other half of the equation, the environment. I agree that diet is critical.

Monica: I noticed that many of them are so talented and the artwork that they have produced is amazing.

Barbara: I always say God never leaves you with nothing. Maybe this is their way of telling us that they are someone, and they have so much to share. I don’t find it difficult to have conversations with them either. They have much to say. They live their lives every day like we do. You have to take time to talk to them and listen to them and know how to phrase words to get the answers you need. They are talented, and they love their art.

Monica: You’ve been doing this type of work for at least 35 years. Prior to that, did you ever think that you would have this kind of affect on so many lives?

Barbara: No, I never did. I never dreamed I would be able to open my mouth. I never believed that I would be able to stand before a group of people and speak and that I would have an impact on them and make a difference. I was so shy my mother used to say it was a sad thing to even watch me. I would go into a room, and I would look for a place to hide. I spent the first 20-something years of my life like that.

Monica: Do the kids come and go every day, or is there a campus?

Barbara: They come to school every day. The group homes that we have are in the community. They live there.

They live with three or four other people in that home. People come in to support them and see that they are never left alone because they are vulnerable to strangers, as you know. Eighty percent of all developmentally disabled people are sexually molested or physically molested in their lifetime, so they can’t be alone. They can have their own home, but the people who care for them do not live there.

This is their responsibility and their profession. This isn’t a place where they’re going to hang out. My clients live there, but the staff members come and go. Group homes are for the adults. We prefer to serve children in family settings because we ultimately have to heal the family.

Monica: Looking back on everything you have accomplished over the years, how would you summarize your life?

Barbara: I’m not done yet. I need to do more, and there is more to be done. If I could express how I would like the rest of my life to be, it would be that I continue to do this work so that I have a good reason to get up every day.

Monica: What is your vision for the program?

When the kids perform, some of them are so gifted in piano and other instruments. I would watch one child when he began to play and he would become transformed. He no longer looked different. It was like he became whole when he played music.

It’s something about that moment when they are in that zone, they’re whole. They become whole. I had one boy who used to sculpt with his eyes closed, and he would be so complete when he was doing it.

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Barbara: My vision is that we will be able to share this with thousands of people. That’s my dream.

Exceptional Children’s Foundation

The Kayne Eras Center in Culver City, California serves more than 550 children, adults and their families each year through its special education programs and services.

Extraordinary Profiles

Life Measured in Love

by Sharon Raiford Bush For the past 15 years, she has traveled each day from her home in mountainous Valencia to Culver City, a significant center for motion picture and television production. It has been a near 35-mile-long journey where hourly traffic jams have had a head-pounding reputation of turning Interstate 405 into a veritable parking lot, resulting in roughly a one-hour commute each way.

Even after lethal cancer cells invaded her diminutive body, robbing her of full lung capacity, the perpetually enthusiastic Radd has refused to allow anything to stand in her way of making a positive impact on the impressionable lives of at-risk youth.

She is a warrior with indomitable spirit who is steadfast at giving developmentally-challenged adolescents a fighting chance.

In 1978, Radd performed alongside mega stars John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John and Stockard Channing in Grease, one of the best musicals brought to the silver screen.

Today, Radd delivers to the exceptional children and teens at the Kayne Eras Center of the Exceptional Children's Foundation (ECF) in Culver City the same level of allegiance she perfected decades ago when Grease became more than a household name.

Actress/dancer and cancer survivor Barbi Radd takes center stage on the floor in ECF's Kayne Eras Center's music department to prepare her students for the school's June 17 graduation performance of "Seasons of Love."

Photo by SDR Bush

Unlike tourists who flock to the dramatic subdivisions of West Los Angeles year-round, former actress/dancer Barbi Radd's destination is not MGM Studios where the lion roars or Sony Pictures Entertainment where such productions as I Dream of Jeanie, Bewitched, Spider-Man, Stuart Little, Men in Black and Ghostbusters were conceived and later slapped with glorious cinemascopic life.

“Why do we sing? Because it's joyous,” said Radd, who also kicked up her heels in the 1978 theatrical release of the musical Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. “Why do we dance? Because it makes you feel good. It's craft and technique. It takes behavior to do those things. That's what keeps you going. It's pretty magical.”

It takes more than a wave of a wizard's wand to help Radd endure her normal activities.

She depends on daily blasts of oral chemotherapy, a wallop to a sensitive stomach that reminds her -- without pause -- that she is living with a malignant disease that has the power to send her directly to the emergency room at any given time. She knows it.

So do her teenage students.

Radd's mission has been far greater, considerably so in measured degrees of power, intensity, self-worth and focused dedication.

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“They're seeing that this is a part of life,” said Radd.

“We must work together.” And united they do stand.

"These kids will always let you know when you're doing right," said music and drama instructor Scott Soltermann. "This is a reflection of a lot of things in my life, too. It can be very emotional." Photo by SDR Bush

For now, those students who are not allowed to attend regular school due to chronic learning, emotional and developmental difficulties surround her in rhythm. This year's anthem of choice explodes with a profound message as Radd and her pupils face the music collectively, their time marked by a pulse, measured by precision.

only does he get paid for what he was born to do, his works of art have received international recognition.

Davis and his fellow artisans work hard to maintain their competitive edge.

Their voices reverberate as they vocalize melodically Seasons of Love, a haunch-bone ballad from Rent, the Broadway musical.

The artwork of those adults who participate in the ECF Art Center Program is showcased beautifully in exhibitions throughout greater Los Angeles, thanks to corporations like Aaron Brothers Art and Framing, which has donated thousands of supporting art supplies and picture frames.

“In five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred minutes, how do you measure a year in life?” they bellow out with resounding passion as Radd conducts each beat with reason and firmness. “How about love?”

ECF does set high goals for its program participants.

But it is a shiny brass ring they can touch. It is more of an expectation of achievable success that actually alters damaged self-concepts and provides a breakthrough for those who exist in their own protective shells.

It is an unconventional method of discipline that has worked ever since ECF was given its first shot of breath.

“Some of them don't communicate,” said Lisa Kelly, associate director of development. “They may be severely autistic. They don't really talk to you. But some of them will take you by the arm, bring you over and show you their work. And they're clearly very proud and excited to see their exceptional talent displayed on the wall.”

Now it runs a number of programs, including one that enables adults with developmental disabilities a chance to demonstrate their artistic abilities.

“I had a very steady hand so I started drawing lines,” said 61-year-old acclaimed graphic artist Milton Davis.

“If I can see the lines, I can draw anything.”

Davis is one of more than 100 resident artists at ECF's Art Centers where self expression, personal development and creativity are fostered.

The ECF Art Center program operates three sites in greater Los Angeles. Artists range in age from 18 to 65 and may have multiple disabilities such as mental retardation, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, autism, physical handicaps, and emotional and psychiatric disorders.

Born with mild intellectual disability and a congenital condition that left all of his fingers and both thumbs rigid, Davis is a commissioned artist. Not

Watching students at the Kayne Eras Center prepare for a graduation ceremony concert makes it a bit difficult for anyone to understand fully why the majority of them were turned away by other programs for being "too difficult" or "too disturbed." Yet, they are succeeding artistically and academically.

It is here where these previously lost souls are rewarded with a sense of self-worth, something ECF's founding fathers -- and mothers -- had desired from the starting block.

Back in 1946, a small group of parents came together in a common bond. They believed that a developmental disability is not an insurmountable obstacle to learning and achieving success. So they created L.A.'s first daycare program for exceptional children.

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Extraordinary Profiles

A women's philanthropic group later adopted ECF and reportedly started the first child guidance and counseling center and residential program in Los Angeles.

About three decades later, it was time for educator and child advocate Barbara Cull to enter the picture.

If Cull's story were made into a Hollywood movie, it would certainly be Oscar-worthy.

“A lot of programs are developed because of a need that a parent identifies and insists that somebody respond to it,” said Cull in a videotaped interview.

“When I couldn't find what I needed in a public school, I had to go and create it. My vision was a nonprofit center that would be dedicated to all kids that have special needs.”

The school started with six students, a handful of professionals and just $800.

The Educational Resource and Service Center became the Kayne Eras Center (KEC) in 2000, following construction of a brand-new facility and a generous financial contribution from Jerry and Ida Kayne and their living descendants.

The Kayne Eras Center merged with ECF in 2007 and is currently ECF's largest program.

Today, ECF runs a total of 16 program sites throughout Los Angeles County. It serves more than 2,300 infants, adolescents, adults and their families.

The goal of the Kayne Eras Center's graduates is to advance to become productive members of society. Photo provided by ECF

In 1980, Cull nearly died from a serious illness. It was during her recovery that she vowed to embrace her second chance at life by making certain that every child had an opportunity to achieve his or her unique potential.

She mortgaged her own home to open the Educational Resource and Service Center in Culver City.

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Since its humble beginnings, ECF has helped more than 100,000 families.

ECF's Early Start intervention program identifies those infants and toddlers who are developmentally delayed, disabled or at risk. This project makes life better for more than 1,000 families annually.

The Developmental Activity Center provides adults with moderate to profound mental retardation a stepping stone to independence by teaching them vocational skills and how to take care of themselves. Its innovative simulated community has received critical acclaim for creativity as a learning environment.

Actress/dancer Barbi Rudd's belief in Nannette Soto helped the former troubled student become one of the Kayne Eras Center's greatest stories of success. Photo provided by ECF

ECF runs two vocational work activity programs, called Packaging, Assembly and Rework (PAR), whereby adults with varied physical and mental challenges are taught good work habits and proper social skills while earning money at the same time.

It is in Culver City's 40,000 square-foot warehouse where assembly worker Jose Guzman can be found perfecting the finishing touches on accordion file folders.

One innocent soul the Kayne Eras Center was able to save and place on the right path belongs to a young lady who was born into an insidious life of crime and violence.

Nanette Soto's story is one of major achievement.

“I make two-hundred of these each day,” said 49year-old Guzman. “I like my job.”

So do the other 250 adults, ranging in age from 22 to 70, who are also able to earn a decent living.

In order to reach a certain level of self-sufficiency, it takes a combination of ECF's educational programs, therapeutic services and classroom structure at the Kayne Eras Center.

It is a concept that has made a huge difference in the lives of its troubled students. This gateway to greater independence is the cornerstone of ECF's basic principles.

Said Dr. Mishelle Ross-Owens, vice president of Educational and Therapeutic Services: “Our philosophy is based on Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences [whereby] we all have many intelligences, some of us in academics, some in other areas.

“We have fantastic success here. Our graduates go on to post-secondary educational programs or trade schools, or they begin working.

“Our arts and educational therapy programs are unsurpassed. The support students receive here is unsurpassed.

After being expelled from a residential treatment center, the angry and learning-challenged young lady was accepted by the Kayne Eras Center.

Thanks to individualized instruction, counseling and enrichment programs, her life began to change.

Soto gained confidence in herself by participating in the center's drama and music classes.

She auditioned for and won the leading role of Dorothy in the Kayne Era Center's musical, The Wiz. Under expert tutelage and unwavering love and support from her drama and music teacher, Barbi Radd, Soto was able to transition successfully back to public high school where she graduated with top honors.

Soto attributes her decision to go college and major in drama to Radd's dedication, love and support.

But this is not where Soto's story ends.

In December, 2010, she will receive a master's degree in counseling from California State University at Fullerton.

“Nanette said she didn't like the person she was becoming and wanted to give back,” said Lisa Kelly.

“We change lives.”

“Really, no other school can boast of the type of enrichment team we have,” said Ross-Owens. “It proJanuary-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 79

Extraordinary Profiles

The Kayne Eras Center's theater is made possible due to the generosity of Tom Arnold, an actor and comedian who suffered an abusive childhood.

Photo by Allan Aruba

motes those feelings of self-worth and has the ability to help the children transfer those [feelings] into the academic classroom.”

The teachers at ECF's Kayne Eras Center are not the only ones refusing to allow these students to become another societal statistic.

Each day when 13-year-old Joshua walks the hallways on his guided way to a music, drama or art

These students will wear their caps and gowns with an opinion of themselves much higher than when they began the program. Radd's and fellow drama teacher Scott Soltermann's ninth-grade music students will look at these graduates dead in the eyes when they belt out the last chorus of Seasons of Love.

They will sing with sensation and poignancy those lyrics that will stay with them for the rest of their lives in the hope that they, too, will become productive members of society: It's time now to sing out, though the story never ends.

Let's celebrate! Remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love!

As this phase of development reaches a new level for the center's latest success stories, there will be others who will be singing in their minds, their hearts and within the stretches of their being. They may only be able to illustrate their thoughts and dreams on canvas.

Thirteen-year-old Joshua is benefiting from a special education program that helps exceptional students from over 15 school districts throughout greater Los Angeles become the best that they can be. Photo by SDR Bush

class, he is reminded of those kind-hearted corporations and celebrities who also believe in him and want him to succeed.

He and his classmates see on the wall such names as CBS, NBC, Sony Pictures, MTV Networks, TNT, Garry Marshall, Anthony Edwards, Eric LaSalle, David E. Kelly, Matthew Perry, Noah Wiley and Candy and Aaron Spelling, among many others.

And when a total of 23 exceptional students graduate from the Kayne Eras Center this year, they will do so in a theater provided by actor/comedian Tom Arnold.

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Regardless, they will be standing in line for their talent to be seen and heard.

These exceptional children, teens and adults may not be willing or able to tell you their names or indulge you in conversation. Nonetheless, if you take just a moment to ask them who they are, they will say proudly, with confidence and maybe even a smile, “I am an artist!”

Extraordinary Profiles

Although he was born with a congenital defect that crippled his hands, Milton Davis has become an internationally-acclaimed graphic artist. Photo by ECF

Art by Tammy Brackens

Jose Guzman is one of 250 adults in ECF's PAR Services Work Activity program which provides facility-based vocational training and paid work to improve earning potential and independence. The program meets private and governmental contract requirements.

Photo Courtesy: ECF

ECF's Kayne Eras Center's founding mother, Barbara Cull, shares one-on-one time and a few loving smiles with an exceptional student. Cull is currently an active member of the Kayne Eras Advisory Board.

Photo provided by ECF

January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 81

Inspiration

Now... is your time to claim an extraordinary life.

by Catherine Galasso-Vigorito

You stumbled and fell. Yet, you picked yourself up and persevered.

Someone didn’t want you. Cast to the side, you were counted out. But you kept hope alive, believing for a better future.

There seemed to be no way out of your adverse situation.

Still, you had faith that God could intercede and make a way for you to reach your full potential.

You are on the threshold of seeing your dreams come true.

Now is the moment. The hour is at hand. It’s your time to claim an extraordinary life.

God has a plan for you and He is fulfilling that plan right now. He is going to take you further than you ever thought possible. He will make up for all the tears that were shed and the years that were lost.

He is whispering in your ear: “For I know the plans I have for you,” “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

God is going to advance you, bless you, and give you the desires of your heart.

People made fun of and laughed at you.

But no one is laughing now.

Yet, sometimes, we can miss the opportunity of a lifetime, because we quit just an instant too soon. Maybe the pace is going slow, and our aspirations are taking longer than we expected to transpire. Otherwise, we’re still January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 83

Inspiration

holding on to the disappointments of the past. Or we are allowing a person with their own motives to impede our success. And although we’ve invested a lot of time and energy trying to realize a dream, we decide to ‘settle,’ letting fears or self-deprivation cause us to turn back, not realizing how close we were to great success when we give up.

Years ago, when I worked in radio advertising, it was a commission-only position. However, for the first year, the company started employees out with a small, weekly salary. Then, after six months, the salary was cut in half.

So after the first anniversary of my employment, my small salary was completely taken away and thereafter, I was only to be paid commission on what I sold. At that time, I recall being a bit apprehensive and uncertain about the future. “How will I pay my rent?” “Should I find another position?” I questioned myself.

Yes, obstacles will test your resolve. Some people might try to rain on your parade. And the way ahead may be challenging. But take it one step further. Stay in the race. Continue being industrious, believing that you will ultimately prevail.

On one school vacation, my husband and I took our three children on their first trip to New York City. There, the girls marveled at the sky-high buildings, the non-stop, bustling traffic and the smell of hot dogs being cooked on almost every corner.

As we walked on the street near New York’s Central Park, we saw horse-drawn carriages. My husband pointed, “Look girls, look at the horses!”

Walking closer to them, my middle daughter asked, “Why do the horses have shields on the sides of their eyes?”

Looking back, I could have easily left my job, letting my mind wonder on all the reasons “why” I should yield. But I loved the radio business and my clients, so with a strong work ethic, I forged ahead.

He explained that the leather shields allow the horses to only see straight ahead. Therefore, when they walk on the street amidst the heavy traffic, the eye shields help the horses to stay focused and not be distracted.

In the twelve years that followed, everything worked out even better than I anticipated, as I enjoyed a long and rewarding career with the company.

Likewise, as you approach this important time in your life, you must not lose your laser-sharp focus. Free your mind from trivial annoyances. Release doubts and fears. And do not be consumed with past hurts, which can hold you back from your destiny. I like the advice of the famed Canadian physician, Sir William Osler, who suggested, “Draw a circle around one 24-hour period of time and don’t bother your mind with worries about what you need to accomplish outside of that.”

I’ve heard it said that, “The most difficult time is right before the victory.” Thus, don’t allow negative thoughts to prey on you, trying to throw you off of your game. For I have found that when the enemy sees the opportunity to do so, he likes to sow seeds of discord. The key, I believe, lies in remembering the last lines to one of my favorite poems called: “Don’t Quit.” “And you never can tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit. It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.”

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You’ve sacrificed, waited, persevered and prayed, and now God’s unseen hand is going to move you along a brandnew, wonderful path. Your dreams are right within your grasp. So step over into your glorious, new future.

Inspiration

Mirror, Mirror of Myself

by Sue Urda

We’ve all had times in our life when we meet someone, and it’s like dejavu. We could swear that we’ve met them before. In an attempt to make the connection, we ask lots of questions to figure out how we might know them. Did you grow up in Texas? Where did you go to college? Do your kids play softball?

Sometimes, we just can’t put our finger on it. But, we feel as though we know them. Sometimes, we feel as though we’ve known them forever. There is an immediate connection. We are drawn to them instinctively, and they are drawn to us. We are instant friends.

How does this happen? Why does this happen? When we look at someone or when we are in the same room with them, we automatically share energy with them. When the energy is high and strong and fast, we feel excitement, joy and love. We often make eye contact and sometimes even share a long conversation. We may even feel compelled to touch or hug them. We feel connected.

There is an immediate liking to this person, and usually this liking is mutual. You feel accepted and safe with them. You like the same food, the same movies, the same clothes and even the same colors. You share similar philosophies and laugh at the same things. You might even have a similar “style” or body-type as them. On a much deeper level, you look into their eyes - and you see yourself.

Sometimes exactly the opposite is true. We meet someone and instinctively, for some reason, we don’t particularly like them. We don’t know why, but we just get a “bad vibe”. We avoid them, because we actually feel negative energy from them. We observe them in a group, and perhaps we see them as crude or pushy or monopo-

lizing of the conversation. We feel uneasy and although we remind ourselves that “everyone we meet is a child of God”, we sometimes judge them or make mental criticisms of them.

All this from only a few moments of being in their company or talking with them. How could this be? Again, we share energy with everyone. Perhaps with this person, the energy flows at a different level than our own. We don’t “feel” the familiarity. We don’t share similar thoughts or feelings with this person. We simply do not connect with them.

Other people are like mirrors to us. Whatever we see in them, we see in ourselves. We may see the person we are today or we may something there that represents who we were at some other time in our life. Perhaps, at some point, we were the one who zapped the energy from the room, or we were the one who was abrasive or simply did not “fit in”. Is it possible to recognize this quality in a person without having personally experienced it at some level ourselves? Are we really so different than the person next to us? Or the person next to them? Or the person we see on TV on the other side of the world? I think not.

So, what do we do? We surround ourselves with those people we want to be like. These are the people we enjoy, the people we laugh and talk with. These are the people we connect to and feel love for. We want to be like them, because they are our mirrors. They are our reflection. They are us.

Now, that’s Powerful!

January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 85

Enrico Thomas New York’s Subway Artist Transforms His Abused Childhood Into a Life of Masterpieces

Inspiration

O

ftentimes, out of adversity comes a strong mind, a new outlook on life, undeniable desire for excellence and the will to survive. Can you recall the last time you turned an adverse life experience into a success story?

He has often been called the Rembrandt of 72nd Street – but there are some differences, of course. This gentleman – Enrico Thomas uses New York subway maps as his canvas and a Sharpie as his brush to transform real-life objects into beautiful thought-provoking masterpieces.

As a young child, Enrico was abused at the hands of his father who scalded him with hot bath water, leaving him in a coma for two weeks, almost causing him to lose his life. He overcame a life of abuse, and though he still has flashbacks today, he uses those experiences to bring out the best in himself and his drawings.

He’s often recognized for his unique approach to architectural drawings of the New York City subways. Enrico is creating national and international recognition for himself.

Today, Thomas is enjoying his freedom of expression, his freedom to draw and create happiness for his admirers and customers. “I fought so hard to have a place in the world and never gave up,” says Thomas.

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Inspiration

Enrico spoke about his perspective on life and how he is using his unfortunate life experiences to bring forth the amazing talent that lies within him.

EPM: What was family life like growing up?

Enrico: I was born in Los Angeles, California. The beginning of my life was really difficult. My mom was in an abusive marriage. She was born in New York, and she moved to California and met my dad shortly thereafter. He turned out to be a wife batterer. She stayed in that marriage for over 12 years. She had three children, me being the third child. He eventually started to batter us as well. I almost lost my life from what happened.

EPM: How old were you when your father began to abuse you?

Enrico: I think I was about two. He would want to hold me. My mom said that he would become angry whenever he picked me up because I would start crying. He became really angry and belligerent. That’s essentially when the abuse started, and then eventually he put me in a shower with hot water. I ended up in a coma with third-degree burns over sixty percent of my body. That’s what finally pushed my mother to leave, to get out of the marriage. That was around 1976.

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After that, she sent me to my grandmother when I was about three years old. I stayed with my grandmother until I was about five. I was really happy during that time although I was still healing. My grandmother was the best, and she really treated me well.

Then my mom remarried. She married a Viet Nam vet. It was definitely a change and a step up, but he had issues from the war. He was extremely disciplined and arro-

Inspiration

gant. He took us all to live in San Pedro and Sacramento, California for a while. From there we moved to the South, Texas, which is where the majority of my childhood was spent. It wasn’t so bad, even though he was a major disciplinarian and made us do a lot of yard work.

which was always an escape for me. I would get comic books or whatever I could get my hands on – if it had artwork on it. I would try to draw what I saw, whether it was in a comic book or a professional illustration from a contest.

I really enjoyed doing poster contests in elementary school and junior high school. Even in high school I would enter into contests and win. The first contest I won was for a drawing about the rodeo. In Texas there are rodeos with horses. I drew a stallion. I was only 13, and I won best of show for the entire state of Texas in my age category. I won tickets to the rodeo. It was a really proud moment.

EPM: Was that an inspiration for you to keep drawing?

Enrico: Yes, it definitely was. My stepfather, even though he was really strict, he knew that I was talented, so he allowed me to draw. I would be at the table drawing and he would say, “Okay. That’s cool. You can stay at the table and draw,” while everybody else was reading.

He never bothered me when it came to drawing because he felt I could potentially make money. His mindset was that you need to make money, be able to do something where you can support yourself. So he figured that drawing was something that could potentially become lucrative for me.

EPM: Would you say that art was a lifesaver for you?

Enrico: Yes, because even now it always takes me to another place, to a higher ground. It transports me somewhere else. I feel like I’m away from the world. When you stop you come back down again. It’s a healing activity for me. Another thing that I realize about art is despite all the drama and hardship from the past, I feel like it gives me a new identity. I can look at a picture and I can say, “I did this picture, me, just me.” I did this picture as an artist, not as anyone else, as an artist, not as a survivor of childhood trauma, which is a separate identity.

We didn’t have a lot of free time. He always wanted us to be into books and reading and writing. When I was in high school, I became rebellious, and I had issues with him.

EPM: Do you think that was because you didn’t have the childhood you were expecting?

Enrico: Probably. I just wanted the freedom to be or think independently of him. I started drawing when I was eight

I feel that art gives a person a new identity. Anyone involved in art can have a new identity. They can call themselves an artist, which is completely separate from anything else that they’ve done.

EPM: Do you find yourself revisiting the past to when you were being abused as a child?

Enrico: Yes. I may be doing anything, jogging or walkJanuary-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 89

Inspiration

ing down the street, and suddenly, I’ll get a flashback.

EPM: How do you deal with that?

Enrico: Something will remind me of a past incident. For example, a loud noise maybe or someone walking down the street may look like my father. I would feel rushes inside of me. It’s a feeling of horror.

I’m a firm believer in just being in the moment, living from moment to moment. That really helps a lot.

EPM: I understand that you ran away from home as a teenager to live in a shelter.

Enrico: Yes. After high school, my first job was at Burger King.

My stepfather raised us to be self-sufficient. He wanted fifty percent of my check. I became really upset. I was flipping burgers. It was an awful job.

EPM: I’m going to play the devil’s advocate and say that by him asking for – I don’t know if 50 percent was reasonable, but by asking for part of your check, that was to pay for your keep at home, right?

Enrico: Right, but still being in high school, I wanted to have fun and to experience what it’s like to have money because we never had any money. He never gave us money for the work we did. Prior to me getting my first job, we worked like slaves.

For the first time I wanted to see what it was like to be able to spend money that I earned. Those were my teenage years of rebellion. So I ran away and I was on the street for two or three days. After that I ended up at Covenant House, a place where I began to realize my talents as an artist.

It was a place where I could be free. I lived in Manhattan in a youth shelter. I remember standing in front of a jukebox playing music and feeling so liberated.

I continued to visit them once I became situated. I believe my mom was still suffering from the battering that she had experienced. She never really reached out to me. Most of the time, we would have to go to her.

EPM: You earned a scholarship to enhance your artistic skills and talents.

Enrico: Yes. I received several scholarships because Pratt Institute is really expensive. I received a Black Alumni Scholarship, a President’s Scholarship from the president of the school and several others scholarships.

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Inspiration

I believe that a lot of the things I went through, I never healed from them until I was away from my parents. A lot of self-discovery took place away from my parents.

EPM: During your self-discovery, what did you learn about yourself and your family life?

Enrico: I knew that I wasn’t a scientist or a doctor but I believed that I was going in the direction that my sister and brother took. My sister became a pharmacist, and my brother became a chiropractor. I believed I was going in that same direction. My stepfather made me take science and focus on chemistry and math also.

I remember these Asian high school students pulling me away and saying, “What are you doing,” because I would start crying if I failed a chemistry test or failed a math test.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? You’re not a scientist.

You’re not a mathematician. You’re an artist.”

That always stayed with me. I recall that incident, especially when I was away from home and I was feeling like I could do whatever I wanted and be whoever I wanted to be.

I always recall the incident with those two Asian students in high school. I was able to focus on the arts and embrace the arts and not feel like I was less than anyone else.

My stepfather made me feel like if you’re not involved in science or math or you’re not a lawyer, you’re not smart.

You’re not intelligent. Artists aren’t intelligent. Singers, dancers, they’re not intelligent. I always carried that around with me. When I was away from that environment, I embraced art because I was around other people who were dancers and artists, and they encouraged me.

EPM: As an artist why did you choose the New York subway as your canvas?

Enrico: I was in my last year at Pratt as a drawing major.

When you’re a drawing major at Pratt, you have to study painting. You have to take sculpture, but your focus is drawing. I always drew whatever interested me in my environment. One of the things I was drawing the most was tractors and construction equipment. At that time, there was a lot of construction and gentrification going on in the city.

I would see cranes or tractors on almost every street. The majority of my work reflected the gentrification and the construction.

When I graduated in 2006, I made the transition to the subway because I felt that it was an extension of the construction equipment. It involved machinery and technology. I find beauty in architecture and structures.

EPM: It seems that you’ve made it work for you. You don’t use a regular canvas, and you don’t use paintbrushes or other special drawing materials. You simply use a Sharpie pen and a subway map.

Enrico: One of the things they taught us at Pratt and really emphasized was if you’re going to be an artist, you have to have a philosophy. You have to have a reason why you do what you do. The reason why I use simple materials -- I stand in a dirty subway with rats in the tracks sometimes. In the summer it’s really hot and in the winter it’s bone-chilling cold. There are trains whizzing by, blowing my paper, the map rips -- into bits and pieces. I’m forming this philosophy of why. I’m still putting it together.

The paper I’m using is a subway map. I feel the reason why I made these choices, whether they were unconscious or subconscious, is because when I was in the coma, I was on the brink of death. I almost died, so I feel that it’s a reflection of choosing the most difficult circumstances and fighting my way out of those circumstances so I can succeed. It’s like a symbolic metaphor of the trauma. I need to make this work. I need to succeed at this regardless of how difficult the circumstances are. I feel like it’s a direct reflection of my early life. The Sharpies; once you make a mark, that’s it. You can’t erase it, so that’s also really difficult.

EPM: You have drawn one particular station more so than the others, and that is the 72nd Street station. Why? Enrico: Another direct reflection of my growing up with my stepdad is the inclination to make it as best as I can, like in the Army. He was in the Army. They say, “Be all you can be. Be the best you can be.” To do this over and over again, to master this structure is what I’m after.

EPM: How many times have you drawn the station?

Enrico: I would say at least 500 times.

EPM: Do you ever think you’ll perfect it?

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Inspiration

Enrico: I’ve been drawing it since 2007. I’m an entrepreneur now. I have to be out there marketing. I have to create my own buyers, create my own clients, look for every opportunity I can possibly find, including grants, and other resources. I always have to be on top of it.

EPM: Compared to when you did your first drawing, how long does it take for you to draw the station today?

Enrico: I have so much difficulty walking away from something that’s unfinished because I need that boost to my self-esteem. At the end of the day I have to feel like I accomplished this drawing. I’ll stay there for eight hours straight, just standing there, no food, nothing. And then I feel it later on.

EPM: For example, if you need to take a break or go to the bathroom, how do you manage that?

Enrico: I don’t. I really don’t. I remember hearing about how Picasso did that too. He wouldn’t go to the bathroom. He wouldn’t eat; nothing. He would just be there hours and hours.

EPM: You don’t lose focus that way?

Enrico: I don’t know what it is but it’s as though the physical bodily functions are completely shut down and your spirit takes over. It’s like a higher ground, like you just go somewhere else. You leave your physical body behind.

EPM: In the very beginning did you use the map because you couldn’t afford to buy regular paper or was it a conscious decision to use the map?

Enrico: It was a conscious decision. I think it was inspired by one of my former teachers. As a drawing major, you have to take many drawing classes, every type of drawing, whether it’s classical or abstract expressionist drawing. There are so many levels and categories. We have to take every class.

I was more of a traditionalist. I did things that people could relate to the most, drawing scenes, architecture, people and animals, for instance.

EPM: Are you successfully able to support yourself?

Enrico: At first it was tough. I was staying with my 92 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2011

Inspiration

mom. I’m making more money now.

EPM: On average, how many drawings do you sell weekly?

ment. You can call yourself a doctor. You can call yourself an athlete or, in my case, an artist rather than a survivor of childhood abuse. That’s one identity, but there are more identities that you could form or make for yourself.

Enrico: At least five at about $300 each easily.

EPM: How do you determine a price for each drawing?

Enrico: I usually just choose a range, and usually it’s around $300 to $500. This year hasn’t been as lucrative as past years because of the recession, but I would walk away with $600 for one day of work.

EPM: With everything that you’ve gone through and what you have accomplished to this point, what have you learned from your experiences? What is your perspective on this?

Enrico: That life is about – if I were to sum it up in one sentence – not giving up, to persist. That’s really the secret ingredient for my life, persistence. There is no other way you can really succeed if you don’t persist at something.

There have been days when I am so tired. It’s beyond tired.

There’s not even a word in Webster’s Dictionary to describe how I feel some days, my body and everything, from the standing and all the stimuli of the city. I push through the exhaustion. I just go out there, and the next thing you know, I’m just enveloped in the creative process. I’m in the moment. It’s an amazing experience every time because each time is different. You meet new people, and it’s a new drawing each time.

EPM: You believe that no mater what your circumstances are, you can overcome them.

Enrico: Absolutely. It’s also about embracing the moment of life, just going through it rather than resisting it. Also, you have to be strong and persevere because there are going to be difficult days. Even through those days, you have to have the discipline, which I should credit my stepfather for.

EPM: What words of encouragement can you give young people who may have been abused, to help them let go of the past?

EPM: Do you have advice for parents who find themselves in abusive situations like your mother?

Enrico: I think it’s more about knowing who you are before you get into a relationship. I think what happens is that a lot of people don’t know who they are before they get into a relationship. They use the relationship as a way of escaping or hiding from their issues. They’ll justify not doing what they could have done before the relationship, whether it’s working on themselves or just the self-discovery that we were talking about earlier.

People have a tendency to fall into relationships to avoid the self-discovery process. So that’s one of the reasons they remain even if it’s abusive. It’s better than the discomfort of not knowing who you are. You identify yourself with a relationship, with someone else, through someone else, and you don’t know who you are. I think if you know who you are when you enter into a relationship that becomes abusive, you’ll love yourself enough to get out of it.

Monica: What kind of legacy would you like to leave, especially for young people? You realized you had this talent at a young age, but it was also a means of escape from the situation that you were in at the time.

Enrico: Art, or whatever it is that you love, can be used as a replacement if there is trouble in your life. To realize that art is so powerful and that it can be used as a tool to express the beauty in the world, can sometimes be hidden by hardship, by poverty, and by childhood abuse.

Art is one of the ways to escape and to embrace life once again. All you need is determination but mostly I think just the love and the passion for something is important.

It’s magical, but it surpasses anything else that may be negative or difficult.

Enrico: I think one of the most important things is to study yourself and discover yourself first. Discover what it is that you really like to do. When you find that thing, whatever it is, just do it without any hesitation, go after it, embrace it and believe in it. That will form a new identity for you. It doesn’t have to be art, it can be anything. It’s like a replaceJanuary-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 93

The Lighter Side

Do you like my purr..ty hat?

The Lighter Side Joe: I think my bank is in trouble.

Moe: How do you know?

Joe: The bank machine asked if I wanted to go double or nothing.

Pop Quiz

by Jane Straus

Which word is correct in each sentence?

1. We have different specialties, so our business services complement/compliment one another.

2. We hired professionals to cleanout our chimney flu/flue.

3. Obtaining a driver’s license is often considered a right/rite/write of passage.

Winter vacationer: Golf is like Taxes. You work hard to get to the green, then you wind up in the hole.

First alumni: "You've done very well, I hear you're a millionaire."

Second alumni: "Yes, I owe it all to my wife."

First: "What were you before?"

Second: "A multimillionaire."

Minnie: "How was your day at work?"

Mickey: "Great! My boss told me I should try to see the big picture, so I went to the movies!"

January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 95

Lighter Side Don't Misunderstand Me

by Dorothy Rosby

I absently swatted at a fly buzzing inside my car as I waited for my turn to use the ATM machine. The man using it must have seen the swat, but not the fly. Apparently he interpreted my gesture as impatience at him for being too slow, because he gave me a quick, unfriendly signal.

Then he drove away and I never got the opportunity to tell him that I didn’t think he was too slow. I thought he was vulgar, quick to jump to conclusions, and dumb as a box of rocks, but I didn’t think he was slow.

Maybe it’s just as well I didn’t get a chance to speak my mind, because it’s possible his gesture wasn’t meant for me any more than mine was meant for him. (Also he might have had a gun.)

Maybe there was a pesky fly in HIS car, too. Or maybe his gesture was directed at the machine for saying his account was overdrawn, or at his passenger for pointing out what I had discovered in the short time I’d known him: that he was as intellectual as pea gravel. I’ll never know, unless he takes the time to write.

This experience led me to consider how often, from hundreds of possible explanations we choose the one that makes us the most disgusted. Or at least I do. And I think you do too, judging from how often people are disgusted at me.

Recently I took my mother to the grocery store. I hung her handicap-parking emblem on my mirror and helped her walk the few steps to the entrance. Then I ran back to get the list I’d forgotten just as two men walked by. They pointed at the handicap parking sign and grumbled something I didn’t understand. I assumed they were grumbling because I, whom they had just seen sprinting across the parking lot, was parked in a handicap spot. Of course, it’s possible I was the one misreading the situation. They could have been annoyed about the price of the cantaloupe inside.

Within days of moving into our first home many years ago, my husband and I received two less-than-friendly phone calls. The first caller said that he and our other new neighbors had not been able to sleep since we moved in because our dog barked every night. I told him that we didn’t have a dog. He insisted we must have, because he could trace the barking to the very day we moved in. I swore that I did not have a dog then thanked him for his very kind welcome into the neighborhood—sort of.

The second caller complained that our cat was relieving itself in his garden, though he didn’t use those exact words. I pointed out that we didn’t have a cat either. In both cases, my new neighbors considered me not only irresponsible with animals but also a liar. Honestly, at that point all I had were a couple of fish, which I rarely let out.

After being misunderstood as often as I have been, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s always worth considering all possible explanations for another’s behavior before I decide to despise them. For my sake, I’d like you to do it too.

When another driver races by you, you may assume he is simply an ignoramus. But isn’t it possible that he’s headed for the emergency room or is late for an IRS audit? (In which case you can hope they ruin him for life.)

When an acquaintance doesn’t return your greeting on the street, you might conclude she is snooty and egotistical. But at least consider the possibility that she is simply too absorbed in her thoughts to notice you. Or maybe she just doesn’t like you.

You see a child misbehaving with his parents and think to yourself, “I wish they’d control their kid.” Consider the possibility that the “kid” is not “their kid.” I’d especially like you to consider this possibility if you ever see me with an out-of-control child--no matter how much he looks like me.

96 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2011

Lighter Side Oxymorons Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Answers to Pop Quiz 1. We have different specialties, so our business services complement one another.

2. We hired professionals to cleanout our chimney flue.

3. Obtaining a driver’s license is often considered a rite of passage.

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

How come a "tug" boat pushes its barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why do we say "after dark" when really it's "after light"?

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

The Lighter Side A young man said he wanted to be a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said he wanted to write stuff that the world will read, that people will react to emotionally, that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger.

Ultimately, he got his wish. He works for Microsoft writing error messages.

January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 97

Lighter Side

Adopting Some New Resolutions

By Angie Brennan It isn’t until the hustle and bustle of the holiday season winds down and the Christmas tree has become a twinkling, dried-out fire hazard that most of us get a chance to begin enjoying the gifts we received. So go ahead…grab the last gingerbread cookie and mix up some hot chocolate in your new mug. Now you’re all set for another wellknown holiday tradition: putting off writing thank you notes.

And what better way to do that than to work on your New Year’s resolutions for 2011? This year you’re going to lose twenty pounds, make it all the way through War and Peace, and take up oil painting…right?

Sounds good, but you and I both know you’ll be right back with the same list come January 2012. Why not set more attainable goals this year? Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Resolve:

• To avoid grumbling when, upon arriving at the store to return that hideous sweater your sister gave you for Christmas, you discover the only item left in the entire store is a set of ceramic chicken figurines

• To resist counting corn tortilla chips and salsa as two servings of vegetables • To turn off your cell phone ringer during your daughter’s piano recital this year---even if she is the fourth child in a row to play Für Elise

• To start searching for that movie you borrowed from a friend several months ago but can’t find. Or at least to admit that you lost it instead of explaining that you hadn’t quite finished watching it yet

• To floss thoroughly…even when it isn’t the night before a dentist visit. (Also, to avoid breakfasting on a garlic onion bagel on the way to your appointment).

• To water that fern on your desk with something other than cold, day-old coffee • To answer the phone even when Caller ID indicates it’s Aunt Bernice, who probably wants to ask whether you’ve been using the hand-knitted toaster oven cozy she made you

• To not get snippety when the barista neglects to add whipped cream to your Expensive Custom Coffee Drink (forgetting the caramel syrup is another matter, however.)

• To resist forwarding that e-mail circulating the internet for the past ten years with the subject line reading: “URGENT!!! CONGRESS SET TO APPROVE E-MAIL TAX!!”

• To organize your closet. Or at least search for the two pairs of shoes that went missing last year. Who knows… you might just find that movie while you’re at it!

Perhaps list is a little daunting. But not as daunting as War and Peace, I’m sure you’ll agree. And just think: if the barista keeps forgetting to add whipped cream, you may be on your way to losing those twenty pounds after all.

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Extraordinary Profiles— Resources Part One Dr. William Dorfman, Pg. 4, America’s Renowned Dentist and Humanitarian www.billdorfmandds.com Harry Carson, Pg. 10, A Gentle Giant With a Power-Pack Punch www.harrycarson.com Chrissy Carew, Pg. 20, Inspiring Excellence in Everyone www.coachcarew.com, www.insightfulplayer.com James Smedley, Pg. 26, A Man of Action Promotes Service to Country and Community www.nabmu.org Kristin Engvig, Pg. 35, Empowering Women to Change the World www.winconference.net Greg Williams, Pg. 40, The Master Negotiator www.themasternegotiator.com Photo Credits Dr. William Dorfman—Cover by Starla Fortunato Harry Carson Pg. 10, Photograph by William Hauser, Photographer Military Award Pg. 32, Photography by Janloft, LLC

Part Two Barbara Cull, Pg. 68, A Visionary and Advocate for Children and Families in Need Exceptional Children’s Foundation, Pg. 75, Life Measured in Love www.efc.net Enrico Thomas, Pg. 86, New York’s Subway Artist Transforms in Abused Childhood Into a Life of Masterpieces www.myspace.com/enricomiguelthomas Photo Credits Barbara Cull—Cover by Lisa Kelly Additional Credits Graphics: Jeff Hayes, http://www.plasmafiregraphics.com

January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 99

Sharon Raiford Bush West Coast Bureau Chief

Sharon called upon actors Blair Underwood and Ronny Cox; American race car driver Dale Earnhardt, Sr.; and wrestling champion Randy Savage, among others, to help her raise money to feed and clothe thousands of impoverished children throughout the Carolinas.

She worked side-by-side with President Jimmy Carter and First Lady Rosalynn Carter in helping to establish the Carolinas' inaugural Habitat for Humanity project. The first home built in that area contains nails and lumber put in place by Sharon, actress/activist Jane Fonda and a host of other volunteers.

Multi-award-winning journalist Sharon Dahlonega Raiford Bush helms our West Coast Bureau, located in Los Angeles, CA. Sharon is best known for being the nation's first AfricanAmerican female TV weather anchor of prime time news. It was an honor bestowed upon her by President Gerald R. Ford when WGPR-TV began broadcasting in Detroit, MI. The former freedom fighter, who participated in peaceful civil rights demonstrations as a child with Rev. Jesse Jackson, Sr., further helped desegregate news anchor desks for ABC, CBS and NBC affiliates in North Carolina and Tennessee.

Sharon is a dedicated public servant.

She co-hosted the St. Jude Children's Hospital's annual telethon with Danny Thomas to raise money for cancer research and treatment.

Sharon's contributions to American history have been archived by the Charles H. Wright African American Museum in Detroit, and the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, DC. She provides Exceptional People Magazine with uplifting stories about artists who are giving back to their communities and making a difference in the world around them.

“I delve far beyond the reaches of entertainers' resumes and lists of credits,” said Raiford Bush. “I want to know what makes them tick, what really makes them an exceptional human being.”

She is married to veteran actor, Grand L. Bush, the recipient of the 1994 Gil Garcetti Courageous Citizen Award for saving the life of a shooting victim.

Most recently, Sharon helped organize the Donald Trump Celebrity Invitational Golf Classic and Awards Banquet to raise money for the Salvation Army's youth-oriented programs.

Contact Sharon by sending an email to: EpmagWest@aol.com.

To help Memphis, Tennessee's struggling blues community, she executive-produced the National Blues Music Awards, a stellar show that brought together the exceptional and collective talent of B.B. King, Albert King, Charlie Rich, Willie Nelson and Stevie Ray Vaughan.

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Writers and Contributors

William R. Patterson

Annemarie Cross

Ranked as the #1 Business Motivational Speaker by Ranking.com, William R. Patterson is a three-time award-winning lecturer and international best-selling author who uses his trademark approach, THE BARON SOLUTION™, to coach, train, and motivate business leaders, sales professionals, entrepreneurs, and investors. His breakthrough book, The Baron Son, has been translated around the world and featured in the Forbes Book Club and Black Enterprise. William is an internationally recognized wealth and business coach who has been a featured guest on over 500 television and radio programs.

William's website, BaronSeries.com, is winner of four 2009 Web Awards including: Best Speaker; Best Male Author; Best Business Advice Site; and Best WealthBuilding Site. For more information, visit http://www.baronseries.com

Annemarie Cross is a Career Management & Personal Branding Strategist, Speaker, Consultant, Radio Broadcaster, and Author of ’10 Key Steps to Ace that Interview!’ She is also the founder/ principal of Advanced Employment Concepts – Career Management and Corporate Career Development Specialists offering powerful programs for people striving for career success and fulfillment, as well as savvy companies committed to building and retaining their most important asset – their staff.

Widely considered a personal change agent and success catalyst, Annemarie has distinguished herself as being people-focused, caring, inspirational and life-changing in her approach. Annemarie can be contacted at www.a-e-c.com.au email: info@a-e-c.com.au.

Catherine Galasso-Vigorito

James Adonis

Catherine Galasso-Vigorito’s nationally syndicated weekly column, “A New You,” has endeared her to readers worldwide for over 15 years.

James Adonis is a people-management thinker and the author of three books including his latest, ‘Corporate Punishment: Smashing the Management Clichés for Leaders in a New World’. Thought-provoking and entertaining, James's keynote presentations and workshops show companies how to solve staff turnover, engage all generations, and win the war for talent. He has presented to audiences across Australia, Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, with an impressive list of clients including McDonald's, American Express, CocaCola, Qantas, and Gucci. www.jamesadonis.com.

Known for her ability to uplift and encourage, Catherine has become America’s most beloved inspirational voice.

Catherine is the founder and CEO of her own company, A New You Worldwide, developing and designing inspirational products. Her mission is to instill hope in the hearts of people everywhere, inspiring them to live a better life.

She makes her home on the East Coast with her husband and three daughters.

Visit her website at www.anewyouworldwide.com Searching for inspirational gifts - visit http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/app.nav/ params.class.K990/walk.yah.0101-K990.

January-February 2011 | Exceptional People Magazine | 101

Writers and Contributors

Dean G. Campbell

Dorothy Rosby

Mr. Campbell advises clients throughout the country and is licensed in securities and insurances in many states.

Dorothy Rosby is an entertaining speaker and syndicated humor columnist whose work appears regularly in 30-plus newspapers in eleven Western and Midwestern states. She is also Community Relations Director for an organization which supports people with disabilities. She lives in Rapid City, South Dakota with her husband, son, mother, and hamster.

Contact her at drosby@rushmore.com or see her website at www.dorothyrosby.com.

Dean G. Campbell is President of Campbell Retirement Planning Centers, Inc. He graduated Magna Cum Laude from Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan with degrees in Finance and Economics. While attending college, he also taught business applications. Simultaneously he began attaining licenses to transact business in Securities and Insurances.

Upon graduation, he worked for an independent brokerage firm then moved on to IDS Financial Services, now Ameriprise. After becoming a top producer at Ameriprise, Dean worked as a Financial Planner for Empire of America Bank in Buffalo, New York. He later became a Financial Planner for First of America Bank where he also for a period worked as the financial consultant for the bank’s customers at fourteen branches.

Thirteen years ago Dean started Campbell Retirement Planning Centers, Inc. To date he has personally helped over 2,500 people with planning there financial futures. He serves on the Board of Directors of the Eastern Michigan Better Business Bureau and was recently appointed for his fourth term.

Through the business and personally, Dean donates to several charities, helping those who are less fortunate.

Visit his website at http://www.campbellretirement.com.

Securities offered through Sigma Financial Corp.

Member FINRA/SIPC

102 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2011

Angie Brennan Angie Brennan is a humor writer and illustrator from Maryland. Visit her website at www.angiebrennan.com for cartoons, spoof advice, and more.

Kathi Calahan Prescott, Arizona business coach, Kathi Calahan, is a Syndicated Author, Certified Behavioral Therapist, Professional Psychic and CEO of two home-based businesses. Her first business, www.godseer.com, shows entrepreneurs how to start any business from home, even if they’ve never done it before. Her other business, www.AmericanLovePsychic.com helps lovers heal their relationships by identifying the underlying problem and providing workable solutions, even if they’re thinking of throwing in the towel. Sign up now for her free and helpful small business ideas newsletter, as well as her relationship advice newsletter.

Writers and Contributors

Rosalind Sedacca

Margaret Paul

Recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, Rosalind Sedacca is a Certified Corporate Trainer and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents facing, moving through or transitioning beyond divorce. She is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! which offers a unique approach to breaking divorce news to your children based on her own personal experience. Rosalind is on the Board of Directors of ChildSharing, Inc. and WE Magazine for Women. She writes monthly columns for several divorce and parenting websites. She is also the 2008 National First Place Winner of the Victorious Woman Award. Rosalind shares her expertise through TV, radio and print interviews, newsletters, teleseminars and coaching.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a noted public speaker, bestselling author, workshop leader, relationship expert, and Inner Bonding® facilitator. She has counseled individuals and couples, and led groups, classes, and workshops since 1968. She is the author and co-author of eight books, including the internationally best-selling Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?, Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?

As a Certified Corporate Trainer and Business Communication Strategist she provides consulting, speaking, training and Executive Coaching services to organizations nation-wide on marketing, public relations and business communication issues. She specializes in gender-related dynamics, marketing to women and employeemanagement collaboration in the workplace.

In addition, Rosalind is a partner in a new business membership site for women, Women Helping Women Mastermind, where women can network, promote their businesses, access help and advice, find resources for accelerating their careers and enjoy free weekly teleseminars, a free weekly newsletter and much more. Basic Membership is also free to women around the world at www.WomenHelpingWomenMastermind.com.

She is the co-creator, along with Dr. Erika Chopich, of the Inner Bonding® healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah, and of the unique and popular website www.innerbonding.com. Their transformational selfhealing/conflict resolution software program, SelfQuest®, at www.selfquest.com, is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to the general public.

Sue Urda Sue Urda is an Author, Speaker, Inspirer and Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, She was named twice on Inc. Magazines list of the 500 Fastest-Growing Private Companies. Sue’s vision is to contribute to a global consciousness of women helping women succeed in business and in life and to open them to truth of who they are. www.sueurda.com.

To learn more about her book, free ezine, programs and other valuable resources on creating a positive ChildCentered Divorce, visit www.childcentereddivorce.com and www.howdoitellthekids.com.

For more information about her customized programs, audio and videotapes, and other services, contact Rosalind at 561-742-3537 or Talk2Roz@bellsouth.net.

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