Turf Pirate's Journal

to another thrilling edition of a Turf Pirates Journal. This month’s walk through the history of Turf Piracy delves into the supernatural, specifically the existence of water gremlins. There are those who doubt they exist and there are those who are completely sure they do not exist and then there are seasoned Turf Pirates who have deeply experienced the work of water gremlins and thus much like the wind, you cannot see them but you can feel their presence and certainly see where they have been. By now you either know what I am talking about or perhaps need a bit of yarn spinning to see the light so here goes and try to keep on open mind. Water gremlins do exist. They strike new irrigation systems and old. They strike pipes, wires, technology and valves equally. They generally strike at 2:00 am or Friday evenings at the end of the day. They know when you are not expecting them to strike and that’s their call to arms. They are sometimes called air hammers or soil shifts (for my friends in Dallas Fort Worth you are surely aware of the dreaded black gumbo soil shift every time it’s too hot/cold or too wet/dry). Elite Turf Pirate irrigators can spot the work of a water gremlin from a nautical mile away and they truly embrace the battle to keep the water gremlins at bay or at least out of the pump house. Lord help you should a water gremlin get loose in your Variable Frequency Drive (VFD). Does anyone remember the Archimedes series of VFD’s? If you do then you certainly believe in water gremlins. Water gremlins have also been known to re-repair complex water piping using 15 couplings where 2 would have been normal. I have dug up many of these water gremlin archeological sites especially taking over older properties, it seems over time a population of water gremlins can grow to very large numbers. It has also been surmised that water gremlins have been aided and abetted by multiple crew members at various times and through various means. Now you are starting to see the truth. In some ways we as turf pirates coexist with the water gremlins after all they help keep us and our irrigation folks gainfully employed. We try to minimize their mischief and anticipate their shenanigans but they have a gift like I said for popping up when least expected and demanding your time and attention. Water gremlins will occasionally call a truce and spend their times exploring pipes and wet wells generally staying out of sight and thus out of mind and this usually sets up a geyser moment. You come in and see an “old Faithful” sized geyser rising over the tree line making a small river but magically not triggering a low pressure shut down because water gremlins love to see water fly upwards and outwards it’s what they do, they make water and mud art for the simple act of well, it makes them happy. Turf Pirates understand and respect this water based symbiont. The battle rages for tight water systems verses displays of water mayhem but take heart turf pirates as there will come a time when you embrace all things as good and challenges as character building opportunities and that water gremlins help add spice and special memories to your career and of course to the culture that is the Ancient and Honorable Tribe of Turf Pirates which brings us to this month’s question, do you believe in water gremlins?

By Anthony L. Williams, MG, CGCS, CGM Turf Pirate's Journal

Rated as the #1 water gremlin geyser ever photographed by A&HTTP. The leak covered the entire fairway tree line to tree line complete with ice on the edges. It was on the Stonemont course in Georgia on a 40+ year old mainline, it was a master work of water mayhem on a Sunday morning.