28.filmfeature
Monday 10 February 2014
The Courier
Film Editors: Muneeb Hafiz & Jacob Crompton-Schreiber
Peculiar pictorial pairings
Hollywood has seen some odd couples over the years. Rebecca Dooley dishes the dirt on some of the weirdest Henry and Clare in The Time Traveler’s Wife
Edward Lewis and Vivian Ward in Pretty Woman
So he hires a prostitute to attend some business events with him (as it wouldn’t do to attend alone) and ends up falling in love. She starts out as a hooker, a well paid one at that, and by the end of the film has bagged herself a good looking billionaire- I wonder who got the better end of the match? That is definitely a unique beginning to a relationship and will prompt an excellent story when the “how did you meet?” question pops up. A bit like meeting on Tinder these days and awkwardly mumbling how you met your Tinderella.
Benjamin Barker and Mrs Lovett in Sweeney Todd
John and Jane Smith in Mr and Mrs Smith
Katniss and Peeta in Catching Fire
Their relationship is a turbulent mess of emotions, throw in repeated threats of death, along with childhood “friend” Gale who has chosen now to reveal his feelings for Katniss and it certainly is a dysfunctional relationship. So after manipulating emotions in order to save both herself and Peeta from the clutches of The Capitol in The Hunger Games, on returning to Panem in Catching Fire the big question was, “Were her feelings real?” Surely Katniss knows her own feelings… Hmm, well let’s just hope that they get it together in Mockingjay.
Sweeney Todd is on a quest for revenge after being falsely accused and banished by Judge Turpin 15-years prior, as he desired his wife. On his return he discovers his wife is dead and goes on a murdering spree with his accomplice/ lover Mrs Lovett, who owns the pie shop next door. He slits his victims throats with his barber’s knife before depositing them in the basement through a handy lever on their chair, wherein Mrs Lovett later uses them for the meat in her pies. Todd succeeds in his revenge and killing Turpin but not before accidentally killing his still-alive wife whom Mrs Lovett was aware was still alive, but kept quiet because of her love for him. Therefore, if being a murdering duo is not the foundation of a dysfunctional relationship then what is? But each gets their comeuppance and end up dead by the barber’s knife.
The Chirpse Locker “ I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party. ” (Brick Tamland in Anchorman)
“ I want to tickle your belly button... from the inside. ” (Francois in Youth in Revolt)
Firstly is it not slightly disturbing that Henry essentially influences Clare’s love for him, as after they “naturally” meet he frequently travels back in time to Clare’s past and inadvertently reveals they will later be married. Then, to top it off he often involuntarily travels through time due to a genetic condition, with no control as to the destination or duration of his travels- now that’s a cause of anxiety for a wife and mother, as their daughter inherits the disorder. Their unusual relationship ultimately results in a lot of lonely nights on Clare’s behalf and the death of Henry.
John and Jane Smith are an outwardly normal married couple, but both are secret assassins and hide their occupation from one another. That is until their competing agencies hire them to kill the other. Love turns to hate under the onslaught of betrayal and provokes an all out fight, which results in their house being virtually destroyed (there must have been some sneaky renovation in that house with the number of hidden weapons in there). But eventually love triumphs as neither can pull the trigger and the whole violent episode ends up strengthening their dysfunctional marriage.
Stuck for words around your beau this Valentine’s Day? Look to these celluloid Casanovas for inspiration “ I see you’re drinking 1%. Is that ‘cause you think ” you’re fat? ‘Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. (Napoleon in Napoleon Dynamite)
“ You may be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater. ” (Austin Powers in Goldmember)
“ There’s no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures ” of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I’m just kidding. But seriously, I’ve got ‘em. (White Goodman in Dodgeball)
“ You can be Little Red Riding Hood and I’ll be ” the Big Bad Wolf. (Jacob in New Moon) Muneeb Hafiz & Jacob Crompton-Schreiber