ENTERTAINMENT M A N D Y N O LA N ’S
THE WRATH OF THE UNROOTABLEST
SOAPBOX
W W W . E C H O . N E T. A U /
S O A P - B OX
Sick of women ruling the world? Tired of people saying you can’t rape chicks? Tired of feminists ruining your fun by insisting on things like an end to violence against women, consent and equity in the workplace and the world? Wish that we could go back to that time when even really dodgy dudes who had little secret serial-killing-on-the-side hobbies could still get their dicks sucked by their obedient wives? Well creepy blokes with antisocial markers that should have you locked away FOREVER, your time is nigh. There’s a new fad for radical white male misogynists called INCEL. (Of course you have to be hetero. It’s for crazy straight guys only.) INCEL. It’s short for ‘Involuntary Celibates’. In other words, weird angry dudes who can’t get a root. In the past they used to go home and sulk. Now when they get home instead of crying wanking into the dark, they can go online and talk to other blokes who also can’t get a root and plot ways of killing people who can. It’s such a neat way of bonding! Just when you thought hateful misogyny had really hit its peak, we have a whole new breed of scary whites. Sad little blokes watching too much porn and wondering why their lives aren’t like that. Why no-one wants to touch their pricks. I like to call them TUPs (Totally Unrootable Psychopaths).
According to sources they meet on Reddit in a group that boasts 40,000 members. I’m sure not everyone’s full of revenge fantasies plotting to kill‌ some have probably just dropped in to browse and check out how much fun organised misogyny and murder can be. The unrootables yearn for a world where hot women love them. I guess not just hot women. Any women. They call themselves Beta men. I guess the joke is that they’re not Alpha, so that’s why they’re ‘Better’‌ or Betas. Women don’t see men like this. We walk past them all the time. As fast as we can. Sure they’re smart. But they’re boring. And really, really, really creepy. Basically these weirdos want to punish women for not finding them attractive. I mean what woman isn’t attracted to a guy who murders people from the safety of his car? Who shoots people in the street before turning the gun on himself? They’re really putting the Sadist back into Supremacist. When Alex Minassian turned his van onto a sidewalk in Toronto the other day killing 10 people he posted enthusiastically about the Incel Rebellion claiming, ‘We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys! All hail Supreme Gentleman Elliot Roger.’ Elliot Rodger is the hero of the Incels. Back in 2014 the Californian 22-year-old killed six people on a shooting spree before killing himself inside his car. I guess he’d totally given up by that stage on ever getting laid. It’s a bit drastic. I mean he was only 22. There are people in long-term relationships who haven’t had a root in a decade and they’re not killing
anyone. If Elliot had got rid of the desperate I’m-going-to-killsomeone glare he might have stood a chance. Women don’t like being looked at like that. It’s all well and good to blame feminists, but the psycho vibe? You’ve got to take some responsibility for that yourself. Someone should have told Elliot to take up gardening, morris dancing. Maybe some volunteer work. Before Elliot fell on his ‘sword’, so to speak, he uploaded a YouTube video titled Elliot Rodger’s Retribution in which he outlined his attack and his motives: punishing women for rejecting him and other men for being sexually active. That’s a very niche film. He also sent out a lengthy autobiographical manuscript that has since made it to the internet making My Twisted World: The Story of Elliot Roger something of a manifesto of hatred, bigotry and murder that underpins the INCEL ideology: to kill Chads and Stacys. Chads are basically great looking but dumb blokes who have success with women. And Stacys are the women who reject the Incels in favour of the Chads. A manifesto and a movement for blokes no-one wants to root? Murdering people who actually do have sex as some sort of revenge? For people who claim to be celibate, these dudes are seriously FUCKED UP. Here’s a suggestion for how to meet someone so you don’t have to kill people in a silly I’ve-never-had-sex psychopathic sulk session: leave the chatroom and go and meet some real people. There’s probably a lonely girl who can’t get a root just waiting for you. I just hope she kills you first.
LIVE MUSIC
several shows at the Celtic Music Festival, and collaborated with local musician, Chris Eaton of Round Mountain Girls, to secure further gigs in the Byron and Gold Coast regions. The Roving Crows play the Rails Thurs 10 May.
SPECTRAL BOOGIE LAND
BACKHOUSE CONCERTS
Experience Spectral Boogie at Coorabell Hall on Saturday. Feast your eyes and ears upon the full spectrum of light, sound and movement with sets by Crystal Digit, Shaunti Sun, and Moe Aloha. Starts at 6pm with some fab woodfired pizza!
Choir director, arranger and composer Tony Backhouse is known and loved in the Byron area after decades of Summersong Music Camp and workshops in Mullumbimby. He is a legend in the gospel a cappella tradition having founded and sung in groups such as the Cafe to the Gate of Salvation, the Honeybees, and the Heavenly Light Quartet. Now, Tony Backhouse is bringing his 55-piece choir – The Backroaders – for a series of gigs at The Byron Theatre and St Martin’s Church in Mullumbimby. Tickets for both the Byron Theatre and St Martin’s are available through the Byron Theatre | byroncentre.com.au | St Martin’s Church, Mullumbimby | 11 May | 2 shows - 4pm and 7.30pm | Byron Theatre | 12 May | 7.30 pm.
SET MO TO GO Comprising Sydneysiders Nick Drabble and Stu Turner, Set Mo came together in 2012 when the two DJs, who’d often found themselves on the same bill, decided their sounds were so complementary that perhaps they should test how tag-teaming tracks back to back would sound. Pretty good, as it turned out. Studio
ROVING CROWS forays soon followed, resulting in tasty classic house-tinged, guest-vocal-driven cuts including Comfort You (feat Fractures), Chasing Forever (feat Alphamama), Keep On (feat Erin Marshall) and the breakout White Dress (feat Deutsch Duke). Set Mo are on a huge tour and we are lucky enough to be able to catch them FREE at Byron Bay Brewery this Saturday. They will be joined by an all-star local lineup of DJs from the Roofless Record crew: Sammy K, Sammond, Silhouette, Chef De Party. From 6pm
Over eight years and evolving incarnations UK-based Roving Crows have cultivated an arresting, singular sound that pushes the boundaries of Celtic folk rock all the way. The band won International Artist of the Year at the Australian Celtic Music Awards 2017. The awards representatives requested they come to the 2018 ceremony and the band were delighted to accept and have worked hard to arrange a tour during May 2018 including a slot at the award ceremony. They secured British Arts Council funding to support their tour, organised
NORPA PRESENTS
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Paul Capsis is Quentin Crisp — An evening with the legendary ‘Naked Civil Servant‘
RESIDENT ALIEN
WED 23 – SAT 26 MAY | 7:30pm | Lismore City Hall $#( ( %(% ( !( ( & ( ! # ( ( ( " ( ' # # # $ ( ( ( ( #( ! ( $ $ "# $ ! $ $ ! $
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T I C KET S
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The Byron Shire Echo May 2, 2018 25