Mandy Nolan’s
SOAPBOX
S E E M O R E O F M A N DY O N E C H O N E T DA I LY W W W. E C H O. N E T. A U /S OA P - B OX
The universe provides. That’s what hippies with moon calendars in their toilet and a copy of The Secret by their bed have always told me. To a small extent I agree, but the universe is not some sort of online shopping site. I don’t think you can order specific items or experiences. Things occur randomly; it’s up to you whether or not you are willing to accept the unexpected and sometimes unwanted gifts of the cosmos.
on my sign. Maybe it’s not random at all. Maybe the dude really hates me. If these signs are my Facebook, then the poo-covered swim shorts were like a nasty comment. This was his way of saying ‘fat bitch’.
ENTERTAINMENT
THE UNIVERSE, ROADKILL COUTURE & ME another vagina, but I think – how do you find a partner, girl? Chances are your man, or woman, has touched a bit of twat in their time; it shouldn’t be an exclusion clause. I peg my rescued swimmers on the line.
I picked up a stick and carefully removed the offending item, holding it as far away as I could. As I lifted the boardies they unfurled a little. I’m like, hang on, that’s not boardies. That’s a woman’s swimsuit. On closer inspection the clumps of brown seemed to be more consistent with mud than faeces. The cozzies had unravelled some to reveal a neat little blackand-white gingham check. Hang on, that could be a vintage ladies’ swim costume. I’m not throwing that back.
I had one such experience the other day: I was busy with my sledgehammer and road signage for an upcoming comedy night, erecting the hand-painted marine ply that I like to think of as my low-carbon Facebook. I had turned up to remove an outof-date sign, and noticed what looked like a scrunched up muddy So I transfer the muddied clump pair of men’s boardies hanging on to the hood of my car where the corner of my stake. I used the stick to perform an Maybe it wasn’t even mud. Maybe impromptu roadside autopsy. it was shit. Maybe some bloke shit I push it out and the story is himself on the way home from revealed. It’s a size 14 vintagethe pub and then threw his pants styled Jetz strapless costume.
And to think I thought it was shit-covered boardies. Roadkill couture! I popped them into the boot of my car and drove them home for a wash. Fifty minutes on a long cycle and their simple beauty was revealed. These were
$200 swimmers. Once cleaned I used my hands for a more thorough inspection. No rips, no holes, and the gusset was intact.
Live Music
singalongs. Think people connecting on a real level, not horny youth out on the prowl at nightclubs. Again, think soul!
skilled vinyl DJs are still alive and kicking. DJ Helmy is known to most as Triple J favourite; Illy’s tour scratch DJ and backup/hype MC, co-founder and DJ of Beats Working (Obese Records), as well as having deejayed for iconic Melbourne names including Lotek, Elf Tranzporter, Candice Monique, MoneyKat, Syntax, Jamima Jones plus many more. Friday at the Byron Brewery at 8pm. Free entry.
AT THE HELM
Firstly: DJ Helmy’s sound is of rhythm. No, not that ‘doof doof’ shit getting around these days by button-pushing DJs. We’re talking drums, an organic flavour of soulful rhythms on turntables. Think classic, timeless songs and
new must-have grooves, not non-stop ‘doof doof’ loops. Think reggae, hip-hop, funk, rock, retro, jazz, blues, roots, swing, soul! Think 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, Noughtys, New! Think live music venues, beergardens, chilled lounges, hip bars, head nodding conversations, laughter,
Emerging from earlier years spent as a drummer for rock bands and a hand percussion tutor, DJ Helmy’s style of seamlessly mixing genres of known and lesser-known tracks from around the globe over the past 60-ish years, coupled with tight and colourful arrays of scratching, assures crowds that
There are some women who can’t come at the idea of wearing something that has touched
There is something so much more satisfying about finding something exquisite, rather than buying it. Anyone can buy something. Finding something is magic. You have to take a chance. You have to be prepared to bend over in public and pick up a rolled up scungey-looking mess of rag and commit to taking it home (much like a bad boyfriend). It’s not the first time. Previously I found a t-shirt for my daughter. It was discarded in the bushes outside a doctors surgery. It was a hideously expensive rippedlook T that Mummy scored on the street. She wore it until it evaporated from washing. I found my husband a pair of $400 Paul Smith sunglasses. I was driving through Eureka when I noticed a
glint on the opposite side of the road. I pulled up, and there they were, absolutely perfect, sitting up waiting for me. I snatched them and ran back, just as a kombi whizzed past. Had I not acted so fast they would have been crushed. I literally felt the little sunnies breathe a sigh of relief as I pushed them onto the safety of John’s face. ‘Here’s some new sunnies.’ We laughed because he’d just been complaining he needed sunglasses.
Sunday is glorious. I slip into my roadkill cozzies. They fit like a glove. Better than new. The previous owner’s body shape has softened them so they respond easily to mine. I’m sitting at Clarkes Beach, loving myself in my new 50s-style pinup-girl swimmers. A woman smiles, ‘Great swimmers’. I nod. Then she says, ‘I used to have a pair, but I lost them off the back of my bike’. What do you say? I mean, she’s not going to want these back – after all, they’ve had vagina on them.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE VIBE Byron Vibes is about celebrating and showcasing the incredible musical and artistic talent in the Byron Shire. As a collective of musicians and artists combined with our love of music, art and philosophy, we point towards a much broader vision. Through the celebration of local music, arts and culture, the intention is to encourage others to shine. Byron Vibes has emerged over recent years through the collaboration of a large range of local artists. Be part of the movement at the Byron Brewery on Saturday from 3pm. Free entry.
DJ HELMY AT THE BYRON BREWERY ON FRIDAY
BYRON VIBES AT THE BREWERY ON SATURDAY
GOT TO LOVE A BAND WITH SOULA High-energy rock, funk and roots band Soula formed in late 2011 on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. The five members quickly developed a seamless mix of edgy riffs and dynamic catchy melodies that rapidly turned Soula into one of the best live music groups in the region. During 2012/2013 Soula spread their seed throughout some of the most wellknown venues along southeast Queensland and northern NSW and enjoyed a continuous barrage of high-profile shows, including the Caloundra Music Festival and The Big Pineapple Music Festival. Soula released their debut EP in early 2013, selling more than 1,000 units in the first three months. The group followed this up with the release of a single and filmclip Over Our Head in November 2013, receiving in excess of 12,000 hits on YouTube within weeks of the clip’s release. Soula ended 2013
30 January 13, 2016 The Byron Shire Echo
SOULA IMMUNE AT THE RAILS IN BYRON ON SATURDAY with a spectacular New Years Eve performance at Mooloolaba Beach in support of Thirsty Merc, performing to more than 15,000 people. The unique and mighty sound of double bassist Ben Browne, accompanied by the natural talent of Columbianborn drummer Santiago Urrego, provides a solid foundation for
the band’s rock/funk sound. With ripping guitar solos, the irreplaceable sounds of sexy saxophone provided by Ben Karklins and the jewel in the Soula crown – sultry, yet powerful vocals – the band’s tasty and full sound lives on. They play the Rails on Saturday.
Byron Shire Echo archives: www.echo.net.au/byron-echo