The
A- Z
TEXT
SERENA KUTCHINSKY
of your Europe
A f t er-par ties
F latulence
B endy banana s
G lastonbury
C ucumber control
H ard hats
Size matters where this fruit/veg hybrid is concerned. Some Euro crackpot has decided that a cucumber of less than 12 inches is a danger to society. Shouldn’t that be the other way round?
A must for all those working at height according to directive EN397, which is all very well for builders but what about tightrope artists and acrobats? Hard hats and spangles is not a good look.
D irective
I mmigration
E uronating
J ay walking
A dying breed in Europe it seems, after tough new legislation has put an end to all-day raves in Ibiza. This summer, clubbers will have no choice but to head to bed on the Party Isle once the clock strikes 6am.
For some reason the EU Commission is determined to rid the world of crooked fruit. Regulation (EC) 2257/94 states that our bananas must be: “free from abnormal curvature”.
Legislation passed by the EU honchos in Brussels to, supposedly, improve our daily lives.
The term Brits need to adopt in place of ‘spend a penny’ if they’re to qualify for the single currency.
Bars and pubs might be filled with fart gas post smoking ban but, apparently, it’s our cows that need butt-plugging. Their anal emissions account for almost 25% of Europe’s CO2.
Still Europe’s biggest and best rock festival, even with the heightened health and safety regulations.
A reality of modern European life which seems to get politicians all hot and bothered.
While the Brits are fiercely protective of their right to cross the road where so ever they choose, this practice meets with harsh penalties in Poland and dirty looks in Germany.