WRIT Large 8.4: Experimental Writing by University Writing Program University of Denver

WRITL ARGE RETROSPECTIVE

AUGUST 2019 VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4: EXPERIMENTAL WRITING

ÂŠ UNIVERSITY OF DENVER WRITING PROGRAM

WRIT Large is published by the University Writing Program at the University of Denver

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the University Writing Program at the University of Denver.

www.du.edu/writing writing@du.edu 303.871.7448 2150 E. Evans Ave., Denver, CO 80208

An Introduction to Issue 4 “Experimental Writing” When we think of the ‘college essay’ as a genre, many of us think of a traditional form, perhaps containing five paragraphs, very carefully sculpted, with a rigid sense of evidence to substantiate our claims. This is how most of us were trained to write, after all. So, it may surprise contemporary readers to learn that the French philosopher Michel de Montaigne (considered by most to have invented ‘the essay’ as a form) wrote quite wildly, with digressions and interruptions, mixing personal anecdotes with far-ranging musings. Montaigne was, if nothing else, experimental at the core. The students featured in this issue of WRIT Large carry on this rich tradition of experiment, in essays that reinvent what’s possible. Crosby-Attipoe takes as her cue David Foster Wallace’s famous essay “Consider the Lobster,” integrating footnotes into the landscape of her argument, while Aiello borrows the list-form of Susan Sontag’s “Notes on ‘Camp’.” Finally, Kohl invents a form entirely her own, in prose that reads as much as poetry at times, mixing scientific proof with personal reflection. In total, these essays reveal that the ‘college essay’ knows no limits.

— David J. Daniels Teaching Professor University Writing Program

Contents pg. 5

Sonia Crosby-Attipoe, “The Stress of the Black Tress”

Originally published in WRIT Large Volume 2 (2013) pg. 10

Kierra Aiello, “Notes on Cupcakes”

Originally published in WRIT Large Volume 4 (2015) pg. 17

Soleil Kohl, “Translation”

Originally published in WRIT Large Volume 6 (2017)

pg. 23

Meet Our Authors

pg. 24

Call for Submissions

pg. 25

Acknowledgments

the

S t r ess

of the

B l ac k T r ess

Sonia Crosby-Attipoe

by WRIT 1133: Academic Research and Writing | Professor Carol Samson Originally published in WRIT Large Volume 2 (2013)

THROUGHOUT MY LIFE, I’VE PROBABLY HAD A FEW DOZEN women disclose to me, “I wish I was black!” In order to avoid an awkward conversation about race, my well-prepared, comfortable response goes something like: “Yeah you do!” Yet, many of these individuals miss my subtle message and continue this dialogue by rationalizing their assertion; they explain that there are so many “cool” ways to style black hair. I often receive their justification with a quick laugh, a witty comment (if I feel so inclined), and then I affirm that they are correct—being black is awesome. A more sincere response, however, is not as easily articulated. The honest answer I typically refrain from delivering seeks neither to demonstrate shame nor to seek pity. An authentic answer, rather, examines a culturally-derived norm among many black women that can be described in a few short words: it’s complicated. I grew up in a Colorado suburb called Highlands Ranch. Its racial makeup is roughly 94% white, 2% Hispanic, 1% black, and 3% other races. Being a racial minority was not a new experience for me; I was born in Valencia, California, a “SoCal” 1 valley region economically similar to Highlands Ranch. Yet as a child, I did not have any sort of social awareness about racial issues because my parents strayed away from conversations that might imply “you are different” from your white classmates. Consequently, the greatest level of VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

racial identification I would distinguish was solely on the basis of physical appearance—the greatest of these: hair. I always knew that I did not have the same hair as my blonde, brunette, and redheaded friends. My hair grew more slowly than everyone else’s. Some liked to pat it and label it as “poufy.” When straightened, it was a top priority to avoid getting it wet. More so, styling took several unbearable hours of sitting in a chair combing, pressing, relaxing, braiding, burning... all of which are among a group of three different styling options for black women. One might: 1) use chemicals (relaxers, curl-loosening texturizers, and other mild treatments); 2) add extensions (either a wig, braids, a full weave, or a few tracks); or 3) go natural (non-chemically treated hair: natural curls, an afro, or any other organic products that may necessitate a particular amount of heat to control coarseness). In my eighteen years of experience with black hair, I have worn, applied, and experimented with a good majority of the possibilities above. Yet the “Signature Sonia,” as my close friends and family have come to christen it, has been the single–braid style. I have sported braids off and on for an estimated fourteen years and have had the same hair stylist for the last twelve years—a French-speaking African from Côte d’Ivoire named Ms. Betsy.2 In my experience, the lively environment of many black salons confirms the stereotype that the media create. Any given hour you’ll hear laughter rising above the sounds of a blow-dryer; men will hit on the young, twenty-something stylist while she evens out their well-defined hairline; an older woman referred to as “Preacher-Lady” will jokingly chastise Ms. Betsy for each of her crude

“Southern California.” Valencia is a city located north of Los Angeles in the Santa Clarita Valley, a community in close proximity to the San Fernando Valley (where the term “Valley Girl” originates). This may be a subtle hint that better describes the demographic.

Honestly, I don’t remember if it’s Sierra Leone or Côte d’Ivoire. Although I’ve remained a loyal client for over a decade and followed her through employment at half a dozen (or so) salons, I still don’t know her last name.

remarks. And many small shops such as these are full of gossip.3 Nevertheless, I have found that all of these aspects are what truly creates a sense of family in each shop. Additionally, the shop experience typically bolsters the confidence of the female clients; for many, there is a clear rise in self-esteem between the time a woman enters and her departure. She starts by nervously pulling off her hat, scarf, or wig, inevitably revealing the roots she tries ever so carefully to hide. Hours later you’ll find her smiling into a mirror, working her hands through her tresses for that desired “white flow.” 4 Furthermore, I became more aware of the complexity of this issue a couple years ago during a conversation with a white friend about black hair. As we discussed the laborious procedures many black women undergo to become satisfied with their hair, we agreed that much of this is done because of pressure to conform to societal expectations. For instance, most people associate “good hair” with “white flow,” suggesting that black women must maintain a well-kept, sleek style. Coincidentally enough, my friend recommended a documentary made by actor/comedian Chris Rock entitled Good Hair. I later went on to watch it and found myself at home about the topic and the issues it presents. Through interviews with men and women in salons, and commentary from many black celebrities, the film discusses the discomfort associated with black hair. In particular, the film talks about the greater maintenance black hair can require (for those who prefer styles outside of their natural texture), including time, money, and physical discomfort. Thus, Good Hair was (and is) a mechanism that openly voiced my stresses with the black tress. For example, the documentary does a great job in detailing “the pains of the perm” (Good

As single-braids are the most time consuming hairstyle, I am accustomed to witnessing many people come and go from their appointments. The second a foot takes a step out the door is when the talk rolls out. It is then that I can put faces to the names of those cheating on their husbands, that one lady dating the 65-year-old for his money, and who got whom pregnant. This is a phrase that my family lightheartedly uses to describe hair that moves in a swift, docile manner.

WRIT LARGE: AUGUST 2019

Hair)—another experience I am all too familiar with.5 Perms (or relaxers 6) are composed of the chemical sodium hydroxide, or NaOH, a strong metallic base used to make paper, to purify gases, and to deep clean. In Good Hair, Chris Rock speaks with a chemist who demonstrates the effects of NaOH on the skin. He pours some of the solution onto a raw piece of chicken, and within minutes, a portion of the meat has disintegrated to the bone. Likewise, the strong presence of this chemical in relaxers is what allows thick, coarse hair to soften and become much more loose and manageable. But, as you might imagine, the effect of this chemical change on the scalp and hair is truly no joke. In an interview with rapper T-Pain, he says, “The burn of a perm... it is excruciating, I think. I think it’s hotter than fire.” Hip hop artist, actor, and reality star Ice-T went on to describe the process as “kind of like a torture session. You want it to get as straight as possible so you like, ‘just a little bit longer, just a little longer... WASH IT OUT!’” (Good Hair). Leave a relaxer in for a few seconds too long and it will either severely damage the quality of your hair or completely break off portions of it.7 For this reason (and simply personal preference), I have kept to the “Signature Sonia” style of single-braided extensions. The actual hair braiding process takes an average of four and a half hours to complete, and it is most often done in one sitting (and that’s simply the braid-time). With all factors included—waiting to be seated (which can sometimes take even longer than an hour), incorporating curls (a supplemental feature where we combine each individual braid into several larger braids, then dip them in hot water so that each single braid appears curly), and finally, putting together the finishing touches (trimming, mousse, hairspray)—my 5

full salon experience is about six hours. In addition, the commute is roughly a cumulative hour and a half, so planning for this endeavor requires clearing a full day in my schedule.8 And yet, in my short lifetime I have endured this process an estimated sixty times already. Inevitably, new hair growth necessitates a trip to the salon for a touch-up. Extensions may last a good six to eight weeks, but they do get old quickly with the arrival of curly or coarse roots. Relaxers tend to be redone every four to six weeks, depending on how fast the individual’s hair grows. Once new roots start to show, there is a very visible differentiation between the relaxed hair and the natural texture, so once you start relaxing your hair it must be done again and again9 (extensions are the other viable option, however). The average cost of a professional relaxing treatment is around $50.10 And that adds up fast. Let’s say that a woman chooses to get her hair professionally relaxed every five weeks. This would mean she’d have ten treatments in a year for an annual relaxing cost of $500. Extensions can get even more costly. From my experience, I’ve seen that hair braiding is around $120–150 for labor, plus the price of buying the hair, which often costs an additional $15. A female who re-braids her hair every eight weeks would have it done about six times per year, spending an estimated annual total of $900. Weaves and sewn-in wigs can cost even more because people often purchase human hair for its silky quality (as opposed to synthetic hair that works better for braiding). Human hair can range anywhere between $20–$200 dollars, but let’s settle on an average of $40/pack for a suitable quality of human-hair extensions. Labor for weaves may be another $100. Assuming that she uses two packs

I have come to the conclusion that the most anguishing of apparatuses is the “hot comb.” It is a very thin-toothed metallic comb, much like that of a curling iron. Some stylists use hot combs that cannot manually adjust, but are simply laid in a small portable oven. This means that they cannot regulate the temperate, so that stuff gets hot! Simply holding a hot comb a foot away from your face is scary enough; now imagine a mere centimeter in distance to straighten out the baby hairs. Torture.

A “perm” on white hair causes the chemical nature to become curly, having the opposite reaction as it would on a black individual; here it relaxes the naturally coarse texture. Hence, “relaxer” is much more accurate.

Currently, all of my hair is chemical free. I have a very fine texture that spiral curls when wet. Before my first relaxer around the age of four my hair length was partway down my back, but the relaxer ended up breaking off my hair due to the damage. My hair texture cannot handle the chemical or even mild forms of it, so I have been off it for nearly two and a half years.

The four hour braid-time is actually quite admirable. Ms. Christie used to take a good six and a half hours when I was younger. I sometimes enjoy watching her hands move with a mess of motion like that of a skilled pianist. Beautiful, really.

9 10

A young woman in the film referred to this addictive effect as “the creamy crack!” You can, of course, perform one yourself. The average price of a good take-home cream is roughly $12.

VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

each appointment and schedules a new one every six weeks, she may spend $1440 a year to achieve that silky flow.11 Suitably, a necessary central question that we must ask ourselves is “Why!?” Why do so many black women subject themselves to incessant hours of painful torture? Why do we spend so much money on such a temporary ideal just to rinse and repeat in six to eight weeks? Why do we feel these processes are an absolute necessity!? Why? Some might suggest the key lies in an age-old phrase that says “a woman’s hair is her crown and glory.” 12 It is unclear who first made this statement, and if it was a woman, were her motives affirmative or begrudging? Did this woman mean to suggest that her beauty stemmed from her lovely locks? Or was she expressing remorse, blaming life’s disappointments on a “lacking” hairstyle? Yet, whatever her intent, the statement has been proclaimed as truth by one and unfortunately believed by many. This, in turn, has influenced the actions of countless women all around the world, a clear indication that societal influence may be a valid rationale. To illustrate, CNN special reporter Charisse Jones comes to the conclusion that many black women fuss about their hair because their social status forces them to “constantly hav[e] to put others at ease and endlessly dodg[e] the minefield of stereotypes.” Jones continues by explaining how black women might be perceived at first glance during a job interview: the “professional” look of straight, relaxed hair is likely to win out over the thick, braided, cornrows. Likewise, during the recent 2012 London Olympics, sixteen-year-old gymnast Gabby Douglas took criticism for (an apparent 13) failure to tame her hair while competing. Douglas was the first African-American female to earn the individual all-around award, and in the

Another option more uncommon in middle-class society is fused extensions. These are small strips of hair that are bonded to your natural hair and can cost thousands of dollars at a time. Celebrities (of all races) rarely go without them. They easily add both length and volume. They last a long time with proper care; however, I hear they are extremely damaging to an individual’s own natural hair.

I may be incorrect, but the phrase may stem from 1 Corinthians 11:15, which says, “but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair was given to her as a covering.” This verse does not claim that a woman’s head is her “crown and glory” as a reference to beauty; rather, it refers to the ability to remain reverent in worship. In Biblical times, women were told to cover their heads during worship, and long hair was a part of the mechanism that achieved such “covering.” I don’t know who changed up the context of it, but I suppose women have been fretting about their hair since the beginning of time.

midst of her successes, she faced scrutiny about her appearance from various social media sites. One black woman commented that she “hate[s] the way [Douglas’] hair looks with all those pins and gel. I wish someone could have helped her make it look better [...] She is representing for black women everywhere” (Samuels). Here we see that societal influence is not necessarily an outsider’s preference by any means; such implications can readily emerge from an internal mechanism. In this scenario, the social expectation comes from a fellow black woman placing expectations on Douglas so that she might appeal to the world as a “proper” representation of black hair. This being said, societal expectations regularly come from out-group members as well. Regardless of where the expectation emerges, however, it seems that the desire for societal approbation is rooted deep within this discussion, if not at the center of this issue. Furthermore, Good Hair includes an interview with poet Maya Angelou where she gives a different perspective on the “glory” of it all: “I would say that hair is a woman’s glory and that you share that glory with your family. And they get to see you braiding it and they get to see you washing it... But it is not a bad thing or a good thing, it is hair” (qtd. in The Internet Movie Database). Similar to what Angelou has insinuated, I don’t think this is an issue about hair. Nor is it one about skin. And I’m sure it’s not “just a girl thing” either. Though I have focused this conversation as it pertains to black hair, the real issue here is much more global than we may perceive. Many groups we identify ourselves with (due to innate features or by means of preference) carry a number of societal expectations that are not easily justified. To exemplify, one might ask a socialite if it is necessary to wear name brands, and another might question if a

Personally, I thought her hair looked great throughout the Games!

WRIT LARGE: AUGUST 2019

skateboarder’s tight jeans help or hinder her performance.14 For each of these groups, there may not be a definite answer that explains particular patterns of action. Yet group members are connected to a shared culture that they can relate to, understand (though others may not), and, hopefully, enjoy. Similarly, I maintain the belief that we, as a human body, may be able to identify why we do the things we do, but many of us lack the ability to identify why these things have such a strong hold over our lives. Once we are able to conquer the latter and gain this understanding, it is then that our actions are redeemed in value; we are able to make decisions for our own benefit. Just as Angelou has stated, hair is hair, and it will remain simply as that. It is when we experience the fruits of our labor that we become connected to a family, a friend, and a culture. Furthermore, realizing the worth of our actions then shifts our view from societal expectations as “stresses” that must be endured towards a perspective that both understands and accepts the choices we make; this is where we find a “glory” in it all. Still, until an individual comes to this realization, the question “why?!” will remain a heavy

burden that must resolved. Unfortunately, when it comes to a black woman’s hair, the burden is messy, disheartening, and complicated. I experienced this near the beginning of Rock’s documentary when he describes his two young daughters asking him, “Daddy, how come I don’t have good hair?” (Good Hair). I cannot discern if my emotions are so inspired by this scene because I can relate to these young girls or if it is because I hold a weighty concern for their self-esteem. Some days I walk down a similar road and want to scream out the same question. At the same time, I wish I could hold these girls tight and whisper to them that, like mine, their hair is beautiful. I’d tell them that their skin is nothing less than perfect. I’d make it clear that they are lovely and that their mother doesn’t just say so out of obligation. I’d want them to understand that their beauty is real, and true, immeasurable, unrivaled, and desirable. I may not be able to successfully give them the affirmation they need to see their self-worth, but I can wholeheartedly attest to a hope that these young girls will one day fathom the absolute truth of a “glory” rooted much deeper than the roots of their hair.

WORKS CITED Good Hair. Dir. Jeff Stilson. Perf. Chris Rock. HBO Films, 2009. Documentary. “Good Hair.” 2009. The Internet Movie Database. Amazon. Web. 6 Apr. 2012.

The Holy Bible, New International Version. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2011. Print.

Jones, Charisse. “Commentary: Why It Matters How Black Women Wear Their Hair.” CNN. Turner Broadcasting

System, Inc., 23 July 2008. Web. 6 Apr. 2012.

Samuels, Allison. “Gabby Douglas Takes Two Olympic Golds—And Hair Criticism.” The Daily Beast. 2 Aug. 2012. “Sodium Hydroxide.” Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 1 Apr. 2012. Web. 6 Apr. 2012. 14

This is not to indicate that these actions are subject to all members of each group. Likewise, not all black women choose to par take in these different forms of hair-care. To each her own.

VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

Notes on Cupcakes

Kierra Aiello

WRIT 1733 The Ties That Bind (Honors Writing) | Professor LP Picard

Originally published in WRIT Large Volume 4 (2015)

“Hey, Boobs!” came from a convertible car where two men were obviously leering at me as I walked to class. The last time I checked, “Boobs” wasn’t my name. They must have felt that would be an effective “hook up” word, a good rhetorical strategy. Let me consider. 118 words for breasts: Tits, titties, tig ol’ bitties, boobs, jugs, melons, cans, hooters, dirty pillows, gazongas, yabbos, tig bitties, knockers, mammaries, fun bags… Breasts are made up primarily of adipose tissue, which is simply made of fat cells. Milk ducts connect around twelve lobes in each breast with smaller lobules, all of which are responsible for creating and transporting milk. In addition, the breast contains nerves, ligaments, blood vessels, and connective tissues. Lymph nodes throughout the body are in place to filter abnormal cells away from healthy tissue.1 honkers, headlights, baps, meat puppets, ta-tas, naturals, boobies, guns, bahama mammas, balloons, bawagos, big brown eyes, blinkers, bobambas, bodacious tatas, bombs, bosom, bosooms, boulders, Bristols, brown suckies… The media plays a huge role in how people view breasts. Yet this view, the media-enlarged version, should not be considered the average size 10

WRIT LARGE: AUGUST 2019

for women. The “media” proportions are not natural in most women without surgery or without the use of extreme push-up bras. Women like Pamela Anderson come to mind. Those few who do have ideal breasts will only have them for a short period of their lives before gravity and childbirth take effect.2 American standards in the media do not portray this reality. Breastfeeding is natural and helps to provide life and nutrition to the next generation; however, many women are subjected to interference with the act and are asked to cover themselves. Come Mardi Gras every year, women are rewarded with beads for flashing their breasts, but when a woman must do it in order to feed her child, she is seen as a public disgrace. Currently, all states have laws that establish a woman’s right to breastfeed in public, but only a few of them give the woman the right to legally fight, in court, against anyone who might challenge them.3 The Office on Women’s Health provides a list of ways to respond to someone criticizing public breastfeeding, so that women can feel confident in their decision to breastfeed. bubatoes, bups, bust, busts, cadillac bumper bullets, casabas, chest, chuberteens, cones, gedoinkers, doorknobs, floppers, fried eggs, fugis, gams, gazangas, golden bazoos, golden winnebagoes… I suspect that every high school girl at some point wants the attention of an upperclassman, and I am no exception. Sophomore year in high school, I was chatting online with a boy from school that I hardly knew. I thought he was cute, and I knew that he was one of the smartest kids in my high school. What more could I have asked for? At the end of the school year, we had been chatting for a bit, and I told him that I had almost asked him to prom. He replied that it was a good thing that I didn’t because he would have said, “No.” To this I said, “Which is why I didn’t ask.” And, then, he responded with something I have never forgotten. He said, “However, you do have amazing breasts.” cushions, dairy section, highbeams, hinyackas, knobs, love apples, love monkeys, luscious scoops of flesh… When girls go up to other girls at parties and compliment their breasts, some women read this as one of the highest forms of compliment. Other girls understand what it is like to look in the mirror every day trying to make their boobs look “good” in their tops. According to a study recently completed in England, men generally do not prefer large breasts. When asked to rate images of women, most men preferred medium breasts. The men were also asked to complete a questionnaire to determine their levels of “hostility toward women, more sexist attitudes toward women, benevolent sexism [belief in conventional gendered stereotypes that are harmful], and objectification of women.” 4 The study found that men who chose large breasts consistently had higher scores in hostility and sexist attitudes. Take from this what you will. mounds, mountains, marshmallows, maguffies, grenadoes, hogans, honkers, itty-bitty-titties, jalobes… VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

My art history professor said that Michelangelo has never been known for depicting “beautiful” women. His men are muscular heroes whose masculinity is impressive, and his women are often the same. Michelangelo did not do this out of malice for females or because he had never seen a nude woman. To him, perfection was realized in the male body, and so in order to flatter women, he made them appear manlier. Eve and Mary are heroicized in their own right through extreme musculature and a bit of masculinity. bazongoes, bazookas, bazooms, bazoos, ninnies, nips, nupies, pair, nice pair, penis squeezers, beamers, starter buttons, tads, handles, tatas, tittyboppers, bee stings, jiggers, jobes, rolling hills, cupcakes… Plastic Surgeon Dr. Randolph H. Guthrie, The Truth about Breast Implants, writes: “On the whole, small-breasted women don’t want to be large-breasted sex bombs, they just want to look ‘normal.” 5 Breast implants in the United States have increased 257 percent since the late 1990s.6 This increase includes both those women who have the procedure for aesthetic reasons and also those who undergo reconstructive surgery. Generally, the appearance of breast reconstruction will be slightly better if it directly follows the mastectomy; but if further treatment must be administered, the patient will be advised to wait.

Michelangelo, Forbidden Fruit © ideacreamanuelaPps /

https://www.flickr.com/photos/ideacreamanuelapps/3542201058/

Saline and silicone implants are popular. One must understand that in saline implants, there is a chance of leakage or rupture in the body; and in silicone implants, contracture (when the body surrounds the foreign mass with scar tissue and then contracts) is not uncommon and is very painful.7 Another method, autologous reconstruction, involves taking tissue from other parts of the woman’s body, such as the abdomen, and using it to form more natural, softer breasts. This method, however, takes more extensive surgery and recovery time. In addition to any of these surgeries, nipples can be reconstructed. Tattooing can recreate the appearance of the areola or adhesive prosthetic nipples can be used.8 twins, love warts, watermellons, wazoos, whoppers, winnebagos, yabos, mambas, mammas, mamms, massive mammaries, mazabas, mellons, milk factories, mcguffies, mosquito bites, perkies, pillows, pimples, pink chewies, rack, set, smosabs, stacked, torpedoes, towel racks.9 Then I hear my mother’s words on the phone. She is saying, “They are taking a biopsy. I might have breast cancer.” Genes such as BRCA1, BRCA2, and P53 are thought to be some of the genes that cause breast cancer, and these can be traced through family history of the disease. It is estimated that these hereditary genes are responsible for 5 to 10 percent of the cases of breast cancer.10 Angelina Jolie, for example, carried a mutation of the BRCA1 gene; and according to her doctor, this meant that she had an 87 percent chance of eventually being diagnosed with breast cancer. Since Jolie’s mother died of ovarian cancer, she decided to take preventative measures and had a double mastectomy in order to bring her chances of contracting breast cancer down to five percent.11

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Considering that breast cancer has been diagnosed on both sides of my family tree, this statistic, Jolie’s 87% chance of contracting cancer, is not encouraging. Breast cancer is usually diagnosed with the same three steps. First, a woman will go in for a routine mammogram. After, if cancer is a likelihood, there will be a clinical breast examination. If this too shows the possibility of cancer, then a needle biopsy will take place. If the test comes back positive for cancer, it will most likely be one of three different types of breast cancer.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/annulla/6314142010

Pre-invasive breast cancer involves cancer cells that have not yet penetrated the basement membrane. Invasive lobular cancer first affects the breast lobules and then spreads to the surrounding tissue. The most common form is invasive ductal cancer; and in that case, the cancer cells originate in the ductal epithelium and then break out into the surrounding breast tissue.12 All of these can be graded to determine the aggressiveness of the cancer cells, but the staging of the cancer will take place after treatment.

Women with breast cancer may lose their breasts and no longer be able to breastfeed their children. Many of these women will also lose their fertility.14 Chemotherapy and early menopause can both cause a loss of fertility in women who have been treated for breast cancer.15

David Jay’s photographs of young women who have undergone mastectomies show the reality and the pain of women with breast cancer. The black and white images are startling in their raw truth-telling ability; the tears coming down faces, the missing pieces, the twisting scars, all scream out to the viewer. By participating in Jay’s SCAR-project, many women feel a small sense of victory over the disease.13 One woman is shown with her lover, another still wears the compression sock required after surgery, and yet another is pregnant without breasts. They are giving everyone, including other young women who may have recently been diagnosed, a fresh lens through which to regard the experience.

David Jay’s SCAR Project

In some other cultures, it is the women with wrinkled, sagging breasts who are thought of most highly. These women were mothers and have stood the test of time. They possibly possess more wisdom than any girls with firm breasts can imagine.16 In 1521, Michelangelo designed tombs for two Medici men. On their combined tombs is the cycle of the day personified. The tomb of Giuliano de Medici has the figures of night, a woman, and day, a man. Night appears to have two large lumps that slightly resemble breasts pasted onto her otherwise masculine chest. Again, it was not that Michelangelo had never seen breasts in person; the reason is much more complex. Medical men of the time may not have known what breast cancer was or how to treat it, but they did recognize that once a woman’s breasts started to appear extremely abnormal and lumpy, she was going to die. Night represents the death of the day, and, just so, her unnatural breasts represent, perhaps, her disease, and the end of the cycle. Once one has been diagnosed with breast cancer, there are a few treatment options depending on the stage of the cancer and the potential for recurrence. VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

Chemotherapy is an option. It is usually undergone in conjunction with surgery for moderate to severe cases because the combination is most effective in ridding the body of cancer and ensuring that it does not come back. Since chemotherapy affects the healthy cells as well as the cancer cells, however, the quality of life for the patient may be greatly reduced for a significant portion of time. Radiation is another possibility. This treatment is given to most patients because it is a point specific method and usually only causes redness to the area and fatigue. Hormone therapy is meant for women whose hormones, such as estrogen, caused the tumor to grow. Various drugs are taken for a period of five or more years and are dependent on whether or not the woman has gone through menopause.17 An additional treatment that many women receive to some degree is surgery. https://www.flickr.com/photos/profzucker/5895654484

All breast cancer surgeries involve taking out the tumor as well as a fair amount of tissue that surrounds the cancer. Around one-third of patients will be advised to receive a mastectomy because conserving the breast would be dangerous to their health.18 In a mastectomy, all of the breast tissue is removed and, rarely, part of the pectoral muscle.

Mastectomies cause the most psychological damage to their patients compared to all other treatments. To many women, breasts are the most feminine part about them. The cutting away of breasts means that a woman will have to deal with her body image and overall sexuality in entirely new ways. One woman from a study on the effects of breast cancer on young women (under 50) said that “in one fell swoop I was told that everything that was feminine to me was gone.” 19

Rembrandt, Bathsheba at Her Bath

While the pain is physical and psychological, I know that a woman who has breast cancer does not merely become the disease. When my mother first was diagnosed, she felt as though the world that she knew was ending. Even though her cancer was diagnosed early and the treatment options were statistically high for recovery, the small chance that something could go wrong and that her life could have ended was still present. When she first received radiation, my mother felt incredibly vulnerable and insignificant. She went into the pre-operation room and undressed. When she came into the radiation room, medical students, both male and female, were simply observing her. To them, she was part of a textbook, a study. After the surgery, when asked to write a review of the experience, she wrote: “I did find it difficult for me to have student [physicians] observe my breast radiation session as it made me uncomfortable with individuals casually walking around and watching.” None of the students even asked if it was acceptable for the group to watch her procedure. After the operation, my mother, a person in the medical field, turned to research to find both information and solace. She changed her diet, completely eliminating animal protein, and I changed my diet to be mostly vegetarian. Her findings changed our paths. The 17th century painter, Rembrandt, a widower, fell deeply in love with a woman he could not marry. Since their love was looked down upon by the church, he chose to recreate the story of Bathsheba, a Biblical woman who loses her child because of her adulterous affair, and to use his mistress as a model. She is fleshy

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and nude; her breasts exposed. The left breast is asymmetrical and shows discoloration, which can be one of the signs of breast cancer if the tumor is close to the skin.20 Some think Rembrandt was painting the cancer. In Rembrandt’s later depictions of his mistress, we can see that her health deteriorates. She died within nine years. Rembrandt avoided idealizing his lover’s body and her breasts; and, knowingly or not, the artist depicted the cause of her eventual death. I have come to read breasts as texts, as signs and symbols. At one level, they are physical assets. They suckle babies. They catch the popcorn that drops from our mouths in movie theatres. They make seatbelts a daily challenge. They display name tags. They change the way we wear clothes, the way we notice ourselves in the restroom mirror, the way we turn and gaze at ourselves, sometimes in dismay, sometimes proudly, as we struggle to lower the neckline of our clothes to show our breasts off. They can be inflated. They are Pamela Anderson’s brand. They cause men to call out to us on the street. Breasts are also texts of a woman’s inner being, her spiritual health. They force us to assess our identity as women. They are a part of our body that is milk-transporter, life-giver, mother. They are fat cells, adipose tissue, mounds, vessels, soul-flesh, arousal mechanisms, and, always, prompts to self-knowledge. They are mortal parts.

Etty, Standing Female Nude https://www.flickr.com/photos/irmavepisalive/2547615307/

Sometimes I consider how, like Rembrandt’s mistress, my mother knew pain and diminishment and how, like Angelina Jolie, she had to find measures (in my mother’s case a biopsy and radiation) to save her life. When this happens, I think of the early-nineteenth-century artist William Etty, who was known for his ability to study a woman’s physicality for hours. He would translate the curve of her body and softness of her flesh onto canvas, making his teacher comment that if he were to prick the study with a pin, it would bleed.21 For Etty, God’s most glorious work was woman, and all of the capabilities of human beauty were in her. I am standing in the women’s restroom at a local restaurant. A young woman is studying herself in the full-length mirror. She is looking at her fun bags, readjusting her low-cut dress so that her tittyboopers are even more evident. She is enjoying the moment, gazing at her body and possibly thinking of the attention it might bring to her. I smile at her as she passes by and exits. I understand her pride, her desire. She is a beautiful woman with a fine, healthy body. We all want to be that. I step up to the sink. I look in the mirror. I look down at my own breasts for a moment, my cupcakes, my own tig ol’ bitties. Then I look up at my face. I see I have my mother’s eyes.

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https://www.flickr.com/photos/mberry/130892300

Michelangelo, Tomb of Giuliano de’ Medici, Night and Day © Miles Berry /

ENDNOTES 1. 2.

Rose Weitz and Samantha Kwan, The Politics of Women’s Bodies: Sexuality, Appearance, and Behavior (New York: Oxford University Press, 2003).

Jake Marcus, “Lactation and the Law,” Breastfeeding Law: Know Your Legal Rights, 2014, http://breastfeedinglaw.com/ articles/lactation-and-the-law/

Viren Swami and Martin J. Tovée, “Men’s Oppressive Beliefs Predict Their Breast Size Preferences in Women,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 42.7 (2013): 1199–207.

Clare Chambers, Sex, Culture, and Justice: The Limits of Choice (University Park: The Pennsylvania State University Press, 2008), 185.

6. 7.

“Breast Anatomy,” National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc, 2012, http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-anatomy.

Judith Timson, “Breast Stroke.” Maclean’s, Sept 26, 2005: 44–45.

Chambers, Sex, Culture, and Justice, 190.

Antonia Dean. “Primary Breast Cancer: Risk Factors, Diagnosis, and Management,” Nursing Standard 22.40 (11 June 2008): 47–55.

“Breasts.” Urban Dictionary, Feb. 16, 2004, accessed April 1, 2014, http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.

10.

php?term=breasts.

Dean, “Primary Breast Cancer,” 47.

11.

Ed Paye. “Angelina Jolie Undergoes Double Mastectomy,” CNN Entertainment. CNN, May 6, 2013, http://www.

12.

Dean, “Primary Breast Cancer,” 49.

13.

cnn.com/2013/05/14/showbiz/angelina-jolie-double-mastectomy/.

“The SCAR Project by David Jay,” Daily Art, July 2014, http://www.daily-art.com/the-scar-project-david-jay/.

14.

Elisabeth Coyne and Sally Borbasi. “Holding it All Together: Breast Cancer and its Impact on Life for Younger

15.

“Fertility After Chemotherapy.” Breastcancer.org. Breastcancer.org, March 2, 2014, http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/

16.

Weitz and Kwan, The Politics of Women’s Bodies.

17. 18. 19. 20.

21.

Women,” Contemporary Nurse 23.2 (2007): 157–69. fert_preg_adopt/treatments/chemotherapy.

Dean, “Primary Breast Cancer,” 49. Dean, “Primary Breast Cancer,” 49.

Coyne and Borbasi, “Holding It All Together,” 161.

Peter Allen Braithwaite and Dace Shugg, “Rembrandt’s Bathsheba: The Dark Shadow of the Left Breast,” Annals of the Royal College of Surgeons of England 65.5 (1983): 337–38.

Corinne Saunders, Ulrika Maude, and Jane Macnaughton, The Body and the Arts (Houndmills: Palgrave Macmillan, 2009).

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Translation

Soleil Kohl

by WRIT 1733 Honors Writing | Professor David Daniels Originally published in WRIT Large Volume 6 (2017)

1 A BODY IS A COMPOSITE. BONES AT THE BASE. 206. LIGaments connect them to joints. Layer upon layer of muscle for protection, the glue that holds it all together. Organs cradled: brain, heart, lungs, kidneys, stomach, liver, large and small intestines, bladder. Blood, pumped by the heart and transported by the intertwining circulatory system. Lungs holding air—in, out; inflate, deflate. Complexity encased in an equally intricate dermis. Body cloaked by the epidermis. Michelangelo began dissecting deceased bodies as early as 18. He kept it secret. No one at the time would approve—obviously sacrilege. Bodily fascination promoted with scalpels and knives. Exploration of the functional meat that makes us work. He guided his hands carefully over flesh, exploring the delicacy of skin and the sturdiness of muscle, trying to feel the once living sculpture that God created. “The kidneys… …are sophisticated trash collectors. …remove wastes and extra water from the blood to form urine.” “The kidneys are two bean-shaped organs, each about the size of a fist. They are located just below the rib cage, one on each side of the spine. VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

Every day, the two kidneys filter about 120 to 150 quarts of blood to produce about 1 to 2 quarts of urine, composed of wastes and extra fluid.” They are a major organ, and have a grasp over other bodily duties: “Kidneys have five main functions: removal of waste and extra fluid, control of blood pressure, the ability to make red blood cells, production of vitamin D to keep bones healthy, and control of pH levels.” In his 70s, Michelangelo was diagnosed with nephrolithiasis, commonly known as kidney stones. “[M]y health is in the condition, what with renal and urinary calculi, and pleurisy, that is the common lot of all old people.” It progressed and plagued him the rest of his life, an inescapable fate.

(left) © Matt & Nicole Cummings / Flickr.com/photos/soulsoap (right) © Chris Tolworthy / Flickr.com/photos/66351465@N00 (left) © [Public Domain] / Wikimedia Commons (right) © John Campbell / Flickr.com/photos/104346167@N06

Michelangelo’s obsession with anatomy is said to be reflected in his art. “Defying the church with science,” they say—The Creation of Adam is said to represent the human brain:

There is a kidney in God Separating the Waters from the Firmament:

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Somehow I find the ambiguity sad. I watch water play. I answer my own answer. He was plagued by his stones: “Morning and evening for about two months I’ve been drinking the water from a spring about 40 miles from Rome, which breaks up the stone.” He found comfort: “I already have a wife who is too much for me; one who keeps me unceasingly struggling on. It is my art, and my works are my children.” “I burn, I consume myself, I cry; O sweet lot! and on this my heart is nourished. Does anyone live only on his death, On pain, and on sufferings, as I? Ah cruel bowman, you can tell exactly When to bring quiet to our anxious, brief Unhappiness, using your hand’s strength; For he who lives on death will never die.”

Even God couldn’t stop Michelangelo’s depression.

2 One day Cynde says, “Your dad wants to donate his body to science when he dies. This means that you won’t have an open-casket funeral or his ashes. Is that okay?” He wasn’t dead yet, but I felt that if he were, it would be fine. My dad once stole a human skull from the medical lab. He kept it secret. Whiter than bone should be—obviously bleached. Cranium held together with screws and hooks. Teeth falling out for years; only the most stubborn remain. He guides my hand with his and traces the riverbeds where veins and arteries once flowed, trying to transfer his years of medical knowledge through touch. My dad organizes his pills. There are four in each box for M, W, and F; an extra in T and TH. He is plagued by his stones: “The first thing I did when I was diagnosed with kidney stones was cut out all caffeine, like Coke and coffee, and start drinking a lot more water.” My dad once cut open a duck to give us an anatomy lesson. There were lots of animals living across lots of land. He wanted us to learn all about them. I remember sitting on the grass while he held the duck by its neck, guts on display. “This is the trachea, this is the esophagus….” I was mortified. VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

Cynde once told me, “I have to go—if anything happens, call 9-1-1 immediately. I’m counting on you.” I held the phone and hesitated to dial while my father, discolored and pale, puked into the backyard. Michaelangelo wrote poems about dying: “The wind’s smoke, the sun’s shadow. We have been men like you, Just as you are, sad and merry, We are now, though, as you see, Earth in the sun, of life bereft. Everything must come to death.” My dad named me after the sun—a solar eclipse on my birthday gave him the opportunity to call me “soleil”—the thing the dark sky lacked. He thought a name made a difference. Everything must come to death. He is David. He creates himself in his art:

Intelligence leads to madness. When the puzzle cannot be solved, the intelligent are restless. It is a perpetual and cyclical frustration. Michelangelo knew what it was like. My father knows what it is like. Everything must come to death. He prefers cutting metal and acrylic paints. He relies on inspiration to strike him like lightning. He is an obsessive perfectionist; he does not stop until all is excellent. He translates the unattainable into everything he’s ever done.

Everything must come to death, so we make art. We make translations. We make the sun. 20

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3 Michelangelo cuts away the stone that is not the figure. I cut. I chop. I chip away. I leave only enough words for the figure. I leave only enough letters on the page for Beauty. I create a language.

I am keen. I do not like to be weighed down. I know perpetual, cyclical frustration. I am David’s artifact, his translation. “You are wonderful, my sweet Soleil.” I flower.

Then I consider my anatomy, subtle in its sprouting. Born into the sun; I cannot be the sun. I abandon science. I embrace the unkempt. I reflect on the language of light.

And still I know everything must come to death. And I am left to sort. And I piece together my relics. little sales of leather and such beautiful beautiful, beautiful beautiful—

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS “Michelangelo began dissecting deceased bodies as early as 18…”

Eknoyan, Garabed. “Michelangelo: Art, Anatomy, and the Kidney.” US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health 57.3 (2000): 1190–1201. Web. 18 Oct. 2016.

“The kidneys…are sophisticated trash collectors…have five main functions”

“Your Kidneys and How They Work.” WebMD. WEBMD, Web. 18 Oct. 2016. “The kidneys are two bean-shaped organs…composed of wastes and extra fluid.”

“Your Kidneys and How They Work.” National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, May 2014. Web. 18 Oct. 2016.

“…my health is in the condition…”

Carden, Robert W. Michelangelo: A Record of His Life as Told in His Own Letters and Papers. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1913. Print.

Graphic interpretations of The Creation of Adam and God Separating the Waters from the Firmament

Abrahams, Simon. “Quick Guide to the Sistine Chapel.” Every Painter Paints Himself. 16 Feb. 2011. Web. 18 Oct. 2016. “Morning and evening…”

Moran, Michael E. Urolithiasis: A Comprehensive History. New York: Springer, 2014. Print.

“I already have a wife…”

“I burn, I consume myself, I cry…”

“The wind’s smoke, the sun’s shadow…”

Wallace, William. Drawings, Poetry, and Miscellaneous Studies. New York: Garland P, 1995. Print.

“little sales of leather and such, beautiful beautiful, beautiful beautiful—” Stein, Gertrude. Tender Buttons. New York: Dover P, 1997. Print.

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Meet Our Authors SONIA CROSBY-ATTIPOE updated for volume 8

Sonia Crosby-Attipoe is a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) continually working to pursue excellence in her service, work, and professional development. She functions as a tax accountant in the Alternative Investments space, and is currently a Senior Associate at KPMG in Denver. Sonia was raised in Highlands Ranch, CO, and earned both her Bachelor and Master of Accountancy degrees from the University of Denver. In her spare time, Sonia enjoys volunteering as a professional mentor with Minds Matter of Denver and has partnered with a local nonprofit, the Global Livingston Institute, to develop an accounting and business training program in Kampala, Uganda. She is an avid supporter of good conversations around a dinner table, grass volleyball, reading, writing, and exploring her way through Denver.

KIERRA AIELLO updated for volume 8

Kierra Aiello graduated DU with an MA in Art History with a Museum Studies Concentration and a BA in Music and Art History after completing the 5 year Master’s program. Since graduating, Kierra continues to work for art related nonprofits in Denver. Local art and music events remain her favorite activities, and she enjoys hiking and biking with her mother (who has now been breast cancer free for over 5 years).

SOLEIL KOHL

written for volume 6 in 2017

Soleil Kohl is a second-year student from Dallas, Texas, majoring in Emergent Digital Practices and Philosophy with minors in Mathematics, Leadership, and Writing. In her free time, she enjoys playing the piano, analyzing problems, and performing with DU’s premiere comedy improv team, Skintight Outrage. Soleil hates the laughing emoji with a burning passion because it depersonalizes people’s reactions to humor. Her largest personal goal is to understand people’s personal and social identities.

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Submit Your Work

We welcome not only essays and research papers but also scientific and business reports, creative nonfiction, multimodal projects, and more. If accepted for publication, your work will appear in 2021’s Volume 10.

SUBMISSION DEADLINE: Texts may be submitted electronically (by students or by instructors on behalf of students, with their permission) to the Editorial Board at writlarge.du@gmail.com by June 15, 2020.

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: • Submissions must be the original, previously unpublished work of the authors (group submissions are also accepted). • Authors must assume full responsibility for the accuracy and documentation of their submission, and a bibliography must be included, when appropriate. • Authors selected for publication must agree to work with an editorial team (of faculty and students) throughout the Fall 2020 quarter and to participate in all editorial activities. • Please limit each submission to 20 double-spaced pages or fewer.

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS We are very grateful to Doug Hesse and the DU University Writing Program for funding and supporting this project. We would like to thank all of our present and former colleagues who have generously contributed to WRIT Large over the past eight years.

FACULTY EDITORS For Crosby-Attipoe (vol. 2 / 2013): Cydney Alexis & Liz Drogin For Aiello (vol. 4 / 2015): Carol Samson For Kohl (vol. 6 / 2017): Carol Samson

2018â&#x20AC;&#x201C;2019 EDITORIAL BOARD April Chapman-Ludwig, David Daniels, Megan Kelly, Heather Martin, Juli Parrish, & LP Picard

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WL RETROSPECTIVE (8.4)

EXPERIMENTAL WRITING

AUGUST 2019