THE VILLAGER, FEB. 06, 2014

Page 19

Of shopping, spaghetti and Cher: V-Day musts

three-packs of porn and more! There have been unsubstantiated rumors of “Buddy Booths” in the back — but I am, journalistically, not brave enough to go further.

BUY A COPY OF “THE PORN SHOPPING COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO GO CONCLUDING THOUGHTS Sometimes, like Jack Bauer, you only If these handy suggestions don’t perk up TANTRIC SEX” AND STUDY got an hour and Tantric Sex is simply IT LIKE YOU ARE PREPARING not an option. That’s when porn comes your holiday, you could always choose to celebrate Halloween instead. Or, you could FOR THE BAR EXAM in handy. My favorite porn dispensary is While I wrote about Tantric Sex extensively in my book, “Live Nude Elf,” I will be brief: There is nothing better than getting in yab yum, soul-gazing and making like Shiva and Shakti. People think because it’s mostly hippies and Sting who espouse the virtues of Tantra, it’s gonna be cheesy, but trust me: Tantric Sex gives you the freedom to behave as

Blue Door Video (87 First Ave.). The best thing about the 60/40 rule is that Blue Door now sells 60 percent obscure non-adult videos like “Mr. T’s Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool” alongside two-dollar Kung Fu films. However, at Blue Door you can also find blowup dolls, sleazy outfits, vibrators,

do many clichéd other things like take a bath together, massage each other, acquire a Whitman’s Sampler and take a bite out of every one of them until you find one that doesn’t disgust you, get blindingly drunk alone while wondering where it all went wrong as you cry and shiver next to the space heater or, better yet, move Valentine’s Day to summer when romance is more feasible.

Theater for the New City • 155 1st Avenue at E. 10th St. Reservations & Info (212) 254-1109 For more info, please visit www.theaterforthenewcity.net

Wednesday - Sunday, Feb 15 - Mar 9 Wed-Sat at 8pm, Sun at 3pm All Seats $20/Studt’s & Sr’s $15

TNC’s Programs are funded in part by the NYC Department of Cultural Affairs and the New York State Council on the Arts

TheVillager.com

REGI

ST

SOTTO VOCE

L1

INDI VIDU AL & PART NER LESS ONS

FOR

CHILDREN

, TEENS & ADULTS

THIRD STREET MUSIC SCHOOL SETTLEMENT TELEPHONE

235 EAST 11 TH STREET • NEW YORK, NY 10003 212-777-3240 • FACSIMILE 212-477-1808 • WWW.THIRDSTREETMUSICSCHOOL.ORG

APR

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20I4

“BAREFOOT AT THE END OF THE WORLD” Written by MATTHEW AQUILONE Monday, February 10th 7pm Sugg. Donation $5

MU SIC & DAN CE WO RKS HOP S

Thu - Sat at 8pm, Sun at 3pm All Seats $15/Studt’s & Sr’s $10/tdf The World Premiere of a new play Written & Directed by NILO CRUZ

I

NEW CITY, NEW BLOOD

TNC’s New Play Reading Series

ARTS CAMP

Thursday - Sunday, Feb 6 - Mar 2

BY

ST

Friday - Sunday, February 7 - 9

Friday & Saturday at 8pm, All Seats $10 Family Performances Saturday & Sunday 3pm All Seats $10, Children under 12 $1

Written by DICK BRUKENFELD Directed by MELISSA ATTEBERY

ER

REGI

Annual Dance Concert and Pow-wow

BLIND ANGELS

L1

THUNDERBIRD AMERICAN INDIAN DANCERS

APR

I’ve often thought it would be romantic to take my boyfriend on a vacay to Italy. Then I realize I make $218 dollars a week, have to pay the rent, Con Ed and my bar tab — so it likely won’t happen. The next best thing: Go to Rosario’s (173 Orchard St., at Stanton) and eat Italian food at this long-standing Lower East Side institution. Often, when I get a slice there, Sal, the celebutante pizza man, will hand it to me and say, “From my heart to your stomach” — making me feel less alone on this planet. If visiting with a partner, why not splurge on one of the $5.50

though you’ve never been hurt, to let your lover inside you heart and soul, and there is nothing more romantic than that.

BY

EAT ITALIAN FOOD

pasta dishes and reenact the romantic scene from “Lady and the Tramp?”

ER

REV JEN, continued from p. 18

COURTESY OF ALPHA

PHOTO BY WALTER WLODARCZYK

Staged love, Disney-style: At Rosario’s, Sal helps Rev. Jen and Courtney reenact an iconic scene from “Lady and the Tramp.”

It’s not just for hippies and Sting: Rev. Jen recommends boning up on this one, “like you are prepping for the Bar Exam.”

February 6, 2014

19


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