TheLighter Side..
Fly AKC - Airlines CONTINUED FROM PAGE 98
team of professionals within the AKC AIR family to fly with. Enjoy your flight and remember AKC AIR transports winning people and winning dogs!” “Ladies and Gentlemen, before we take off we must have everyone’s attention. The cabin door has been shut. All phones, laptops, and any other electronic equipment must be turned off and stored for takeoff. Please pay attention while PP and GW demonstrate our safety features along with the proper method for using the wicket,” JM shares with a big smile. PP and GW proceed with the usual seatbelt, emergency exit, loss of oxygen routine and finish by pulling two stuffed dogs---one resembles a Golden Retriever and the other a Miniature Poodle. PP releases a folding table from the side-galley wall and places her Mini-Poodle on the table. With ease, she effortlessly demonstrates proper technique in unison with JM’s voice as he verbalizes her every move. Once finished, the table is returned and GW follows with the Golden Retriever. “You may also review proper use of the wicket by going to channel four on your in-flight entertainment center. Sit back, relax and once we reach cruising altitude, we will serve you a choice of beverages which is located in your personal copy of the Gazette – AKC’s award-winning in-flight magazine along with your choice of three AKC signature snacks for purchase. Non-alcoholic beverages are offered for three dollars, beer and wine for seven dollars, and all other drinks for ten dollars. AKC AIR does not accept cash – only debit or credit cards. If you choose to pay with your AKC AIR MasterCard you will immediately be rewarded one point for each dollar spent, allowing you to cash in your points for discounts on judging application fees, future travel plans, and all AKC gift items that can be found in our exclusive AKC AIR Mall, featuring the very best items AKC has to offer. Thank you for your attention and enjoy your flight.” JM stops talking, sits down next to PP and the two of them face the passengers with love in their eyes. GW moves to the back of the plane to secure the handlers, owners, and dogs.
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AKEOFF IS SMOOTH.
We reach cruising altitude and PP’s voice is heard over the PA. “We have reached cruising altitude and you are free to move about the plane. We request you remain in your seats unless you are using the restrooms, purchasing items from AKC AIR MALL, or enrolling in our AKC Frequent Flyer Program. If you are a judge and you enroll into our program on this flight-and this flight only-we offer you the opportunity to apply for two extra breeds on your next application at no cost, along with an extra 500 bonus miles and one free companion ticket by companion - we mean your DOG. For handlers and own102 Dog News
ers – we offer you extra points to be used for those crucial, but ever important end of the year statistics---100 breed, group, or Best in Show. We all know those points can make the difference between a real winner and a loser. That is why you fly AKC AIR. GW returns to the front the plane through the mid-section door and assists JM and PP with snacks and beverages. I purchase a glass of red wine, the cheese and fruit sampler along with an AKC AIR Mall purchase of 100 copies of the judge’s disqualifying form, which I never seem to have. My purchase provides me with 55 new points.
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OOD AND BEVERAGE
service is completed. JM and PP tidy up the galley area and GW gracefully moves front and center. “Ladies and Gentleman for your viewing pleasure AKC AIR is offering an official AKC judges seminar on the Japanese Chin. To take advantage of the wonderful presentation, you will need to purchase our special headsets at $25.00 each for the video portion of the presentation. The headsets are yours to keep for future travel aboard AKC AIR. The Japanese Chin seminar video can be found on channel six. Today - and today only - we offer this seminar for the low price of $75.00. If you use your AKC MasterCard, we will double your award points. For those traveling in the handler, owner, and financial-backer section, if you book 15 round-trip tickets using our onboard flight reservation system today, we will not only double your 100 end-of-the-year statistic points, we will give you two round trip tickets anywhere AKC AIR travels, if your dog completes 2013 as number one in its respective breed. JM and PP will be around with headsets and you can enter your payment information for the seminar directly on the in-flight entertainment screen located in front of you. Also, for the hands-on portion of the seminar, we are thrilled to have Glamazon on board in the handler / owner / financial-backer section. She will make a brief appearance with three lovely Chins for your review. I opt out of the Chin breed seminar and grab the latest copy of the Gazette for review. I open the first page to the following message: “The American Kennel Club successfully launches AKC AIR in an effort to provide quality travel to all dog lovers across the world. By 2014, all AKC member All-Breed Clubs will be mandated to utilize AKC AIR’s quality service for judge’s transportation in an effort to streamline expenses. All handlers and owners will sign an agreement to use AKC AIR whenever there is a need to travel with your dog to and from all AKC-related events. Those handlers and owners not utilizing this special service may have valuable year-end points removed from their record. This partnership will afford our customers cutting-edge information, the latest in policy and procedure changes, along with the opportunity to meet and socialize with AKC Board Members, Delegates, Staff, Judges, Breed Mentors, and more. I attempt to continue and find myself being released from the OBE hold. I shake my head from side to side. The fabulous five – MD, PP, JM, GW and TT depart---not toward the airport---but rather to the Orange County Convention Center to partake in one of the world’s premier dog events---the American Kennel Club Eukanuba National Dog Show.