Spring 2012 by Dignitas Magazine

Magazine

Embracing the dignity & beauty of Christ-centered womanhood The Worth You Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Buy by Catherine Pelicano

4 Ways to Welcome Spring My Dearest Sisters Book Preview

Featuring author Ryan Kraeger

Plans to Prosper You by Mary Wood

Spring Fashion Fun!

FIRST ISSUE

of Dignitas Magazine

SPRING 2012

Introducing

Magazine

stroll through the mall or a glance at the magazines in the check-out line will give you a clear idea of what our culture promotes as the ideal image of womanhood. The plunging necklines and disappearing hemlines of clothing in store windows tell you that to be a woman you must expose yourself to the world. Mainstream women’s magazines encourage this message by upholding edgy and provocative women celebrities as images to aspire to. These messages combine with hundreds of others to portray an ideal of womanhood that when tested proves unfulfilling, unattractive, and ultimately untrue. Our Catholic faith presents a nobler image of womanhood. Founded on the revealed truth that we were created in the “image and likeness” of God, the Church teaches that we possess immense dignity. Christ’s redemption further elevates our identity by

making us God’s adopted daughters and calling us to live a life of holiness for Him. Knowing and living these glorious truths will deepen and transform our lives as women in ways we never dreamed. The truth about our dignity from God gives us a powerful incentive to say “no” to fashion trends that expose our bodies, and the beauty of Christ’s call to holiness motivates us to abandon the ugly provocativeness of our culture’s ideal womanhood. In their place, we discover the joyful challenge of dressing attractively yet modestly so as to affirm the worth of our bodies, as well as the fulfilling pursuit of an authentic life of virtue, especially the virtue of chastity. As witnessed by countless women saints, especially our Mother Mary, striving to live this way results in an image of womanhood that is radiantly beautiful and entirely fulfilling—because it is femininity as God intended.

The purpose of Dignitas Magazine is to seek the truth about womanhood

as God intended it to be, to encourage Catholic women to authentically live this truth, and to promote it in the world. We look to Sacred Scriptures and the teachings of the Church for our instruction. We strive for authentic holiness by seeking concrete ways to practice virtue. We eagerly look for relevant, winsome ways to promote the goodness of God’s image of womanhood in a world so hungry for the truth. Nourished by prayer and the sacraments and inspired by the example of the saints we joyfully embrace this task—and invite you to join with us!

Contents

IN EVERY ISSUE Recommended Reading Quotes to Remember Know It. Live It.

ENDOWED WITH DIGNITY 6 The Worth You Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Buy by Catherine Pelicano REVIVING FEMININITY 12 4 Ways to Welcome Spring A Lady Victorious by Katherine Williams HIDDEN PLACES 28 Plans to Prosper You by Mary Wood CLOUD OF WITNESSES 38 St. Cecilia by Beth Monaghan IN THE NEWS 42 Gendercide: Over a Million Girls Disappeared in 2011, Where Did They Go? by Christina Coffman FROM THE GUYS 48 Q&A on Holiness with Joseph D. My Dearest Sisters Excerpt by Ryan Kraeger REAL CLOSETS 58 Spring Fashion Basics by Elizabeth Lepak Real Closets with Katherine, Elizabeth & Christina VENUES OF GRACE 64 The Romance of the Eucharist by Heather Burgess

DignitasStaff Catherine Pelicano

Co-founder, Managing Editor Catherine Pelicano (23) is from a family of eight siblings. She became interested in the topics of human dignity and Christcentered womanhood after attending a youth conference in high school. As Managing Editor of Dignitas Magazine Catherine gets to combine her passion for these topics with her love of the written word. Apart from Dignitas and her job as an Assisted Care Provider for a precious special needs kiddo, Catherine enjoys cooking, running, scheming about her future European adventures, and all things British.

Abby Pelicano

Co-founder, Creative Director A freelance graphic designer and photographer in the upstate of South Carolina, Abby (24) has been remarkably blessed to collaborate with her sister to create Dignitas Magazine. She shares a passion for spreading the truth about the dignity of the human personâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;particularly to womenâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and prays that it will be an aid on the path to holiness and unity with our Lord Jesus Christ. When away from the computer she is probably swing dancing (or contra dancing, taking lindy-hop lessons or waltzing), hiking Table Rock Mountain or absorbed in a classic black and white movie.

Our Contributors Heather Burgess - Assistant Photographer, Writer Heather (34) is a pediatric physical therapist and budding photographer who is passionate about her faith, family, and friends. (Photography: cover, p. 6-10, 28-37, 42-47, 58-63)

Christina Coffman - Writer Christina (19) was born and raised in Maryland but now lives in South Carolina. She enjoys spending time in the great outdoors and of course being part of Dignitas Magazine! Ryan Kraeger - Author Staff Sergeant Ryan Kraeger (27) is a Special Forces Medic posted in Washington State. He has served as a combat engineer in Korea, Iraq and Afghanistan. Elizabeth Lepak - Writer Elizabeth (23) is a recent graduate from the University of North Carolina with a B.S. in Consumer, Apparel, & Retail Studies. She is currently Assistant Manager at J. Jill and enjoys sharing her faith with others. Beth Monaghan - Writer Beth (26) currently works full-time at an after-school and summer camp program. She aspires to write childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s books in the future and simply follow where God leads. Chris Pelicano - Illustrator, Writer A seasoned illustrator, designer, and husband, Chris enjoys time at home, reading, swinging a kettlebell and watching the progress of Dignitas Magazine. Katherine Williams - Writer Katherine (24) is a swanky architect in South Carolina. She is interested in listening to people, small-time sleuthing, and all things being made new. Mary Wood - Writer Mary (23) is a Florida native who loves to run, read, and travel. A recent college graduate, Mary is currently pursuing a career in criminal justice.

ENDOWED WITH DIGNITY

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

The Worth

ENDOWED WITH DIGNITY

Buy

You Can’t

by Catherine Pelicano

“What made you establish man in so great a dignity? Certainly the incalculable love by which you have looked on your creature in yourself! You are taken with love for her; for by love indeed you created her, by love you have given her a being capable of tasting your eternal Good.” —Catherine of Siena, Dialogue quoted in CCC 356

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ENDOWED WITH DIGNITY

Pick any women’s magazine off

the rack or view any advertisement geared toward women, and what do you see? What messages do you hear? Whether it’s a fashion magazine or an advertisement selling a beauty product the pitch is almost always the same: “You are not ______ enough. But, no worries, our product can fix you.” According to these sources we need to be tanner, slimmer, edgier, trendier, more toned, more interesting, more talented, etc. It’s just a simple marketing ploy, and most of the time we see it for what it is. However, our culture is so saturated with these messages that resisting their influence can be difficult. Why? Because we women long to be seen as desirable and valuable, and we’re tempted to worry about what will happen to us at the end of the day if we “don’t make the cut.” Marketers know this, so they draw us in by making nebulous promises that their products hold the key to finding our worth.

Repeatedly, we fall for the lie that we must “buy” our value as women. We stress over our muscle tone, our clothing, and our “uninteresting” personalities. We buy gym memberships. We buy designer clothes. We try out relationships. We grasp after anything and everything

And guess what? We fall for it. 8

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ENDOWED WITH DIGNITY

that promises to “fix” us. In the end, though, we discover we haven’t really found the value we were seeking. We haven’t really become beautiful; we’ve become materialistic. We haven’t become more interesting; we’ve become petty. While this restless search can be painful and confusing,

the truth about what is going on inside us is actually quite beautiful:

our hearts are aching for God, in whom we find our true worth. While we continually forget that God is the answer to our heart’s needs, He does not. There is never a moment when we stray that He doesn’t want us back. There is never a longing in our heart for anything that could outmatch the intensity of His longing for us. In His love, God repeatedly sends us grace to reawaken us to the truth that our value is found in Him, and that we are the emptiest when we try to seek it apart from Him. Like St. Augustine said, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.” The ultimate Gentleman, Our Lord always approaches our confused hearts with the upmost tenderness and compassion. He sees us buying into lie after lie about where we should find our value, and longing for us to know the truth He speaks to us personally:

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From all eternity I had you in mind, and when the time came I called you by name into existence. I created you in my own divine image and likeness, giving you a totally unique, intrinsically valuable, immortal soul (Gen. 1:27). Even as I knitted you in the secret of your motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s womb I loved you. Even before you were fully formed and your abilities fully developed you were beautiful and precious to me. I knew you and cherished you even then (Ps. 139:13-16). I am deeply in love with you. You have captivated me with your beauty (Song 4:7, 9). You are my delight and my love; you are entirely beautiful (Song 7:7). You are my prize. I will not forget you or abandon you (Ps. 27:10). Then, in case we doubt, His Son shows us His scared hands and feet, proof of the authenticity of this love and our own worth: When you were at your lowest point, when you had strayed the farthest, I still loved you and wanted you. When you were enslaved in sin, I died to rescue you (Rom. 5:8). I longed for your freedom, so I offered my whole self for your liberation. Every inch of my body I handed over for torture. Every ounce of my strength I expelled. Every measure 10

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of dignity, every comfort, every drop of blood I sacrificed for love of you (Is. 53:5). You were dead in sin; I rose to give you life. I, the Lord of Lords, longed to do this for you (Lk. 22:15). You don’t have to perform for my love. You can’t win it, or deserve it. I will always give it freely to you. How could I not? I love you. How different these messages are from the marketing ploys that tell us we are not enough! Our culture tells us that we are not beautiful unless we recreate ourselves — our appearance, interests and tastes —until they mirror those of models and celebrities. God tells us that we already possess the most dignified image on earth because we were created in His glorious image and likeness. Our culture tells us that we must “buy” our worth, that we must pay a huge price to be worthy of love. God tells us that we are worth so much to Him that He paid the ultimate price to rescue us from a condition of slavery that was far beneath our dignity. In God we find that we already possess the worth and distinctiveness we desperately seek in all the wrong places. We need only accept these marvelous truths about ourselves, and allow God to enrich our lives through them.

From my own experience, every time I stop trying to “buy” my value and let God’s grace go to work in my heart I am overwhelmed by the richness and depth of what He offers me. Moreover, I find that all of the concerns and priorities that I clung to so desperately to give me worth — my appearance, my social life, my interests — all seem strangely unimportant and totally insufficient at filling my deepest needs. It’s as if I were eating a solid meal after months of living off of the barest rations, and I realize that I was actually starving to death. Our culture is equally as hungry for the truth about human value and dignity.

We must pray for the grace to accept it in our own hearts — and for the Holy Spirit to help us share it with others.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REVIVING FEMININITY

4Ways to

REVIVING FEMININITY

Welcome

It never fails to amaze me how every year the trees and plants seem so completely dead coming out of winter. Then, without much warning--everything bursts into life! It’s so appropriate that Easter coincides with spring, isn’t it? By the time the weather warms, fruit trees blossom, and daffodils, tulips, and azaleas decide to show their faces

I’m more than ready to throw open the windows and soak up as much of spring’s freshness as possible. No matter where your interests or creative talents lie, there are endless ways to welcome spring and enjoy this beautiful season to the fullest. Here are four ideas from the Dignitas Team to get you started.

REVIVING FEMININITY

Start an Herb Garden Chives

Parsley

Rosemary

Thyme 14

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

ike to garden and cook? Spring is the perfect opportunity to try out your green thumb by starting your own herb garden. Herbs are the most practical plants to grow and can be easily started from either seeds or seedlings. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the best part: you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to have a vast yard to grow them. Most herbs do just fine in pots, and can be grown on porches or even window sills that receive ample sunshine. What you chose to grow depends on your cooking tastes, but a well-rounded herb garden could include basil, thyme, rosemary, parsley and chives. Once your herbs are mature enough to use you can experiment with them while you cook. Remember, the closer you keep your herbs to the kitchen the easier it is to throw them in salads or include them in a sauce.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REVIVING FEMININITY

Decorate with Seasonal Flowers

hen the backyard becomes your own personal flower shop you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to look very far for the best spring decorations. The kinds of flowers available often influence how you display them, so take a look at the flowers that grow where you live. Flowers with long, thin stems like daffodils, tulips, or daisies work well in dainty vases, while more unruly clippings from forsythia or azalea bushes need sturdier containers. Have flowers without substantial stems like camellias? Use decorative bowls to float the blooms in water. On that note, who says you have to use real vases at all? China tea cups, thrifted bottles, or pitchers can be creative substitutes. Cluster three or more on a table together with varying heights and sizes for a lovely display.

REVIVING FEMININITY

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REVIVING FEMININITY

Have Fun with Florals

If your allergies wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t allow you to invite spring flowers inside try decorating with floral fabrics.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

ubtle accents can go a long way in brightening up a room. How about throw pillows in a floral print that matches your upholstery? Tablecloths or table runners are also fun options. If you want to get thrifty you can try making them yourself. This time of year fabric stores carry plenty

of bright and springy prints to chose from. Be sure to coordinate your prints and colors well, though, since it can be easy to create an over-stimulating effect â&#x20AC;&#x201D;especially in small rooms. Try buying a couple yards of a fabric that catch your eye and see where they take you!

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REVIVING FEMININITY

DIY Flower Accessories

If crafting is more your thing, try your hand at these super-easy cloth flowers.

All you need is a strip of fabric 1.5 to 2 inches wide and 18-24 inches long for each flower. Start by tying a knot on one end, then twist and wrap the long strip around the knot, gluing it together with a hot glue gun as you go. When you get to the end of the strip neatly tuck it underneath the flower and glue it in place. Depending on how big you want your flower to be, adjust the width and length of the fabric strip, as well as how tightly you wrap it around the knot. Hot glue your finished flowers to headbands or bobby pins to wear in you hair, or pin them to a cardigan to make an outfit more springy. The possibilities are endless!

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REVIVING FEMININITY

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

“Do not let anything afflict you, and do not be afraid of any illness, or accident, or pain. Am I not here who am your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Do you need anything else?” — Our Lady of Guadalupe to St .Juan Diego

REVIVING FEMININITY

VICTORIOUS by Katherine Williams

You invoke her as “Mary Most

Pure” or “Mother of Good Counsel”, picturing Our Lady as the gentle ideal of femininity portrayed countless times in works of art—and she is. But what about her titles “Mary Most Powerful” and “Our Lady Queen of Victory”? What picture of Mary do these often overlooked invocations portray? We don’t often regard Our Lady as a strong, even valiant symbol of womanhood. Sacred Scripture shows us, however, that while our Model of Femininity certainly demonstrated gentleness, she

practiced a vast amount of courage and strength as well. We have all read the account of the Annunciation so many times that it is easy to let its gravity and depth escape our notice. We often think of it as a straightforward event: the angel came and Mary simply said “yes” to being Jesus’ mother. The truth is, though, that the Annunciation was one of the most dramatic moments in the history of mankind, and Mary’s “yes” was a lot more involved than we might think.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REVIVING FEMININITY

From the Fall in the Garden of Eden, to God’s covenants with Noah and Abraham, to the liberation of the Israelites from Egypt, to the Messianic prophesies of Ezekiel and Daniel, each step in God’s plan of salvation led up to the Annunciation, when the opportunity for salvation would finally materialize for mankind. When the fullness of time had come, God presented humanity’s chance for salvation to one woman—to Mary. All of heaven and creation was poised, the angels holding their breath as she, risking abandonment and the possibility of being stoned to death, freely gave her “yes” to God. No, Mary did not shrug her shoulders passively and agree to give birth to a child at the Annunciation. In reality, she was fastening her battle garb, because with that “yes” she courageously agreed to become a vital part of God’s battle plan to save mankind from Satan’s power. In Revelations, we get a sort of “behind the scenes” look at the fierce spiritual battle Mary entered into when she agreed to bring the Savior into the world. In chapter twelve we read: 24

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

“A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman, clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She was with child, and wailed aloud in pain as she labored to give birth. “Then another sign appeared in the sky; it was a huge red dragon, with seven heads and ten horns...the dragon stood before the woman about to give birth, to devour her child when she gave birth. She gave birth to a son, a male child, destined to rule all the nations with an iron rod.”

Immediately after the child was born, Revelations says that St. Michael, with his legions of angels, waged war against the dragon and the fallen angels. The battle was an awful, brutal fight but the dragon was finally cast down from heaven into hell. This is quite a different account from the traditional Nativity story we were raised on that portrays a

REVIVING FEMININITY

peaceful stable with quietly lowing cows. However, the Revelations account gives clout to the power and importance behind the beautiful nativity scene. It shows that Mary’s “yes” was not only a courageous response to the demands and challenges of motherhood, but also a “yes” to stand in our defense against Satan’s assault. It demonstrates that she had the strength to say

“yes” to the suffering and sacrifice necessary to deliver the crushing blow upon the serpent’s head. Mary’s role in this cosmic battle, however, was far from finished with the birth of Christ. For the next thirty years after the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, Mary showed her dedication to furthering God’s saving plan. It was Mary who faithfully raised and nurtured Jesus, who began his public ministry at the Wedding Feast of Cana, and who followed Jesus to Calvary gazing through eyes filled

with tears at her son nailed to the cross. Now as Queen of Heaven and Earth, Mary still works alongside her Son for our salvation. The authority Mary possesses as Queen was awarded to her not only because she gave birth to God’s Son, but also because she courageously agreed to play an active part in the redemption of mankind.

We are called to do the same. It can be so tempting to avoid confrontation or any action that might make someone else dislike us or look down upon us. For my part, I spent my time in high school and most of my time at college letting those around me do what they wanted without ever defending the things I knew to be right or standing up against actions I knew to be wrong. This passivity caused my faith to dim and my conscience to grow numb. What a tragic way to live! There were so many situations where I could have been a witness and perhaps helped the people struggling around me by sharing the light of truth!

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REVIVING FEMININITY

How can we aspire to emulate Mary’s example of femininity if we reject confrontation and adversity? Just as Mary had the liberty to say “no” to God’s offer at the Annunciation, we too can turn our faces away from the opportunities God gives us to suffer and sacrifice for Him, but we must follow her example and respond with a courageous “yes”.

We must say “yes” to working proactively for each other’s salvation. We must say “yes” to defending the truth. We must be willing to confront evil in the world even though it may mean abandonment. Like Mary, our “yes” to God can make a real difference in furthering the Kingdom. So take action! Take up your weapon and your shield and turn to Mary in solidarity in times of trouble, for she will never abandon you. c

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

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in print? We do too! We rely on your prayers and support to get it to press! Send us an email at DignitasMagazine@gmail.com to make a donation or sign up on our mailing list. Thank you! Copyright 2012 Dignitas Magazine. All rights reserved. No material from this website may be copied, reproduced or distributed without express written permission from Dignitas Magazine.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

HIDDEN PLACES

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

Plans to ProsperYou

HIDDEN PLACES

by Mary Wood

On the day I graduated from

high school my dad gave me a small, silver key chain that had a verse from the Bible engraved on it: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jer. 29:11). I loved it. When I began classes as a freshman in college I carried it everywhere—to meetings, the cafeteria, mass, and study groups. I’d hear it clink against my keys and smile, thinking of both my earthly and heavenly fathers. My dad has always encouraged me to follow my dreams, even though

they might have been extravagant. From the wise age of twelve, I knew what I wanted my career to be. Not only was it a job I thought I’d be good at, but it was something I knew I’d love. So with as much seriousness as a twelve year old could muster, I set my heart on attaining this dream job. All throughout high school I pursued it. I planned my college major around it, and read books on how to ace interviews so I could be ready when the time came. A few years passed. I was a junior in college and still committed to my plan. One chilly fall day I received

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an email from my school with information about a company that was hiring students for an internship which, completed successfully, would lead to a full-time job. But this wasn’t any ordinary job: this was my dream job. I carefully filled out an application, spent hours poring over it to make sure everything was just right, and sent it off with high hopes. I just knew this is what God wanted for me. How could He not? It was everything I had wanted for years. I constantly checked the mail, hoping and praying I would make it into the first round of interviews. A few weeks passed, and I kept my hopes up. A month passed, and I felt a twinge of doubt. Two months passed, and I became worried. Four months passed. One night, I was lying awake in bed thinking about the internship. I wanted it so desperately. Tears began

to run down my face as I tried my best to convince God that He should want it for me too. All of a sudden, I was struck by the amount of hope and expectation I had placed in this internship. I saw how tightly I gripped the direction my life was taking and realized how much I wanted to be in control. The idea of not being in control terrified me! But God whispered to me so gently asking me to let Him have control of my life. I resisted at first, but I knew I needed to let go. I whispered,

“I’m giving it to you, God. May your will be done.” It felt as if a physical weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Matthew 6: 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. 30

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

I woke up the next morning at peace. I grabbed a cup of coffee and stuffed my backpack full of books, food, and my laptop. While waiting for my economics class to start I opened my laptop and checked my email. There were emails about volunteer opportunities, a warning not to feed the squirrels on campus, and an email from a friend—all fairly routine. Then I saw an email from the professor in charge of the internship program. My heart dropped into my stomach. It was an email to all the applicants. She wrote that the program had selected four potential candidates out of the dozens who had applied. The names were listed at the bottom of the email. I could see the first three names and none of them were mine. I took a deep breath and scrolled down to see the fourth. There it was. My name. I had made it into the second round of the hiring process. Grateful tears filled my eyes, as I realized that God really had been in control all along. It was as if He had just been waiting for me to finally surrender and trust him.

Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Copyright 2012 Dignitas Magazine. All rights reserved. No material from this website may be copied, reproduced or distributed without express written permission from Dignitas Magazine.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

A three hour long interview was scheduled for the next week. I was nervous, but trusted that God had it under control. The interview went well, and after it was over I tried not to think about it much. For a while I was good about trusting God with the results, but weeks passed and I became anxious: “Shouldn’t I have heard something by now? An email, a phone call, anything?” Why did God have to take so long? Two months passed. Again, I laid awake in bed one night. I was so devastated. If God didn’t want me to have this job, why couldn’t He just go ahead and get it over with? The agony of having my hopes rise then fall was painful and emotionally exhausting. Waiting was hard; trusting was so hard. I took a deep breath and prayed yet again,

“God, this is yours. Help me to learn to surrender.” As I walked back to my apartment after classes the next day, I was preoccupied with thoughts about my future and what I was learning about trusting God’s plan. When I opened my door I was surprised to see my younger sister waiting for me inside. She 32

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grinned as she handed me a large envelope with my name on it, saying she had made the hour-long drive from home to deliver it. Trying to be composed, I opened the letter. I scanned the page, and didn’t take a breath until I saw the word “Congratulations!”. I had made it past the second round. He had done it again! God waited until I surrendered my desires to Him, then the very next day He answered my prayer. I was blown away! The hiring process wasn’t over, though, and I still had a lot to learn about trust and patience. Another four months passed, and once again, I got frustrated with waiting. This time, I decided to convince God that I would trust Him, half-hoping it would bring another quick response from the company. I promised God that my frustration would end, and that I would surrender my life and this job to His will and timing. With that done, I expectantly waited to receive an email, phone call or letter like I had twice before. Only this time, I didn’t hear back. I was confused. Didn’t I do the same thing the last two times? What was different? A nagging voice inside told me I hadn’t truly surrendered.

I was pretending, hoping I could fool God and have things my way. Not surprisingly, it didn’t work. He wasn’t fooled. Ashamed, I turned to Him once again, begging for the grace to be sincere, patient, and trusting. True to form, I heard back from the company a few days later—I had officially been hired. I had made it! Something I had wanted so badly was finally mine, and the months of agonizing waiting were over. There was only one problem. For years and years, I had been so sure that this job was what I wanted, but now I felt compelled to ask whether it was what God wanted. I prayed hard for the wisdom to make the right decision. For weeks I hesitated, swinging back and forth. Finally, I couldn’t deny it any longer. I felt God was calling me away from this job and asking me to follow another path. This was the hardest test of my trust yet! To turn down this job—my dream job—after all my efforts to attain it, seemed crazy. Could I even turn it down? Could I trust him that much? I had no other prospects and certainly nothing else

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I wanted to do half so badly. Could it be that God had other plans for me that really were better than the ones I had for myself? Could He truly fulfill the desires of my heart better than I could? Yes. Yes, He could. He had plans for me. The Bible verse on my key chain ran over and over in my head: “Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.” I had no idea what those plans might be, but I knew I could trust Him—the past year had taught me that. I notified the company that I was grateful for the opportunity, but would not be accepting the position. I am now a college graduate. Strangely enough for a control freak like me, I have no idea what’s next for my future. But that’s ok. I no longer have my key chain to remind me of God’s promise, but he has written the truth of this verse on my heart: “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.” As a high school graduate, I loved this verse, but at the time I didn’t know

what it meant to truly believe in its promise. Through my experience of pursuing the internship, I finally started to understand its implications. God has created each of us with a free will. We can choose to follow our own will, or we trust Him and choose to follow His will. Two choices with two radically different results. In my pride and arrogance, I assumed that following my own will would bring me peace and joy; I learned the hard way that it didn’t. I also learned that surrendering oneself to God isn’t easy. It’s something that must be worked at every moment of every day, but He is faithful and rewards us when we surrender to Him and seek to follow His will. It still makes me smile just thinking how this lesson in surrendering has changed my life. I’m not in control, and for the first time that makes me overflow with peace and joy. c

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 30

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For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” 32

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

ecommended Reading

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

Choosing Beauty by Gina Loehr

(back cover description)

Mascara will help and eyeliner too, but the surest way to a beautiful you doesn’t require hours at the cosmetics counter. The best beauty routine starts within. Choosing Beauty guides you through a dayby-day inner makeover that will give you a glow that can only come through a life infused with the virtues. Learn how to step away from gossip, grow in courage, practice mercy and enter more fully into the qualities that will allow your inner light to shine. Suitable for individual or group study, Choosing Beauty includes lively reflections on the virtues and questions for discussion in a user-friendly format.

Catholicism

by Fr. Robert Barron (Dust jacket description)

What is Catholicism? A 2,000 year-old living tradition? A worldview? A way of life? A relationship? A mystery? In Catholicism Father Robert Barron examines all these questions and more, seeking to capture the body, heart and mind of the Catholic faith. Starting from the essential foundation of Jesus Christ’s Incarnation, life, and teaching, Father Barron moves through the defining elements of Catholicism—from sacraments, worship, and prayer, to Mary, the Apostles, and Saints, to grace, salvation, heaven, and hell—using his distinct and dynamic grasp of art, literature, architecture, personal stories, Scripture, theology, philosophy, and history to present the Church to the world. Paired with his documentary film series of the same title, Catholicism is an intimate journey, capturing “The Catholic Thing” in all its depth and beauty. Eclectic, unique, and inspiring, Father Barron brings the faith to life for a new generation, in a style that is both faithful to timeless truths, while simultaneously speaking in the language of contemporary life. Copyright 2012 Dignitas Magazine. All rights reserved. No material from this website may be copied, reproduced or distributed without express written permission from Dignitas Magazine.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

CLOUD OF WITNESSES

Saint

Cecilia

Saint Cecilia, an Early Church virgin and martyr, was born to a noble Roman family near the end of the second century. She was raised in the precepts of the Christian faith and as a young woman chose to consecrate her virginity to God. According to tradition, God blessed Cecilia’s vow by allowing her to see her guardian angel.

According to the custom of the time, Cecilia’s parents arranged for her to marry into another noble family. Despite her private consecration, Cecilia was obliged to marry a pagan aristocrat named Valerian. On her wedding night, Cecilia prayed to God that her vow of chastity would not be violated. She courageously told Valerian about her consecration and warned him of the angel that guarded her. When Valerian asked for proof of the angel Cecilia sent him to speak to the Bishop of Rome, Pope Urban. Valerian went and by the grace of God was converted to Christianity. 38

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“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so gre every weight, and sin which clings so closely, that is set before us.” - Hebrews 12:1

CLOUD OF WITNESSES

After he was baptized Valerian finally saw Cecilia’s angel. God’s grace continued to unfold as Valerian’s brother, Tibertius, also converted to Christianity. Cecilia, Valerian, and Tibertius diligently served the Church through acts of charity and heroic virtue. The two brothers made it their special task to burry the bodies of Christian martyrs. Because of their status as Roman nobility, however, their actions caught the attention of the pagan government. Not long after they converted, the brothers gave their all to Christ by suffering martyrdom.

eat a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside and let us run with perseverance the race

After her husband’s death, Cecilia was also tried before the Roman court. The prefect tempted her with worldly pleasures and threatened her with torture to make her renounce her Christian identity. Cecilia fearlessly held her ground, though, and shrewdly defended her faith before the prefect. The court finally condemned Cecilia to death, ordering her to be suffocated in the heated bath of her own house. She spent a day and a night in the heated room, but miraculously remained unharmed. An executioner was then sent to

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CLOUD OF WITNESSES

behead her, yet amazingly she still lived even after three strokes. Finally, Cecilia was left to bleed to death. Even in this most fragile state she continued to give witness to Christ. She bequeathed her possessions and property to the poor and encouraged the Christians who came to console her, telling them to remain faithful. After three days Cecilia died, receiving both the crown of virginity and martyrdom. Cecilia’s life of bold confidence in Christ has inspired Christians throughout the ages to live their faith more courageously, and her example is especially relevant for the Church today as we strive to bring about the New Evangelization. Empowered by her love of Christ, Cecilia made God her first priority and generously sacrificed all she had to promote the Gospel. Her courageous witness in the face of persecution challenges us to examine our own priorities and commitment to Christ. While few are called to suffer martyrdom like Cecilia, we are all called to lay down our lives daily for love of our Savior. While this task often proves difficult and discouraging, Cecilia’s witness shows us that a life of heroic virtue 40

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is truly possible with God’s grace. Let us invoke Cecilia’s help, then, as we imitate her bold witness to Christ in our world today! c

Prayer to St. Cecilia O glorious saint, who chose to die Instead of denying your King. We pray you please to help us As His fair praise we sing! We lift our hearts in joyous song To honor Him this way, And while we sing, remembering, To sing is to doubly pray. At once in our hearts and in our tongues We offer double prayer Sent heavenward on winged notes To praise God dwelling there. While in our hearts and tongues we try With song to praise God twice, We ask dear saint, to help us be United closed to Christ!

Quotes to Remember “Nothing in heaven compares to the beauty of God, and nothing on earth approaches the beauty of the woman. For this reason, women have a unique role in revealing God to the world... ‘God has a beauty to unveil, a beauty that is captivating and powerfully redemptive.’ Like His, your beauty is powerful.” —Jason Evert, Theology of Her Body Copyright 2012 Dignitas Magazine. All rights reserved. No material from this website may be copied, reproduced or distributed without express written permission from Dignitas Magazine.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

IN THE NEWS

GENDERCIDE:

Over a Million Girls Disappeared in 2011...

Where did they go? by Christina Coffman

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

IN THE NEWS

“It’s a girl!” are three

words most parents are excited to hear. However, those same three words cause the deaths of a shocking number of girls and women every year. Gendercide, the systematic elimination of a gender group, is a horrendous practice that ends the life of unwanted females simply because they are girls. Research presented in the World Bank’s 2012 World Development Report on Gender Equality and Development estimates that nearly four million women and girls were eliminated globally in 2008 alone.1

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IN THE NEWS

The same report shows that most of those deaths occurred either by sexselective abortions or within the first few years of life.

Where & Why is Gendercide Happening? Although gendercide is a global problem, research indicates that it is especially prevalent in China and India. An article published in 2011 by World and Media reported that more than two million females annually “go missing” in China and India because of gendercide.2 In these cultures, sons who can carry on the family name and take on the strenuous work required in labour-oriented communities are highly valued, whereas girls are often viewed as just a financial burden. This is especially true in India. According to Indian tradition, parents are expected to pay a dowry when their daughter marries. This dowry can cost the bride’s family two to five years of their income. Imagine a family with three daughters—it could take the parents fifteen years to earn enough money to provide three dowries. Although the Indian government officially outlawed dowries in 44

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1961, it still remains a common practice among India’s upper and lower classes. As a result, there is tremendous pressure in India to have sons, not daughters. In China too, the One Child Policy increases pressure for Chinese parents to make sure their one child is a boy.

Gendercide in Practice: Because of the cultural stigma attached to having daughters, many parents in both China and India are

forcedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or are voluntarily willingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; to kill their female children. In many cases, these girls are aborted during pregnancy. According to the World Bank 2012 Report, an estimated 257,000 Indian girls were the victim of sex-selective abortions in 2008, while a

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IN THE NEWS

shocking 1.1 million more were aborted in China the same year. If female babies are not killed in utero, often times they will be killed shortly after they are born. Disturbing accounts have been recorded of infants being strangled to death or forced to swallow poisonous fertilizer. The trailer for an up-coming documentary on gendercide relates how infant girls are often smothered with a wet towel, or abandoned and left to starve.3 Again, the World Bank estimates that in 2008 over 300,000 girls under the age of five died in China and India because of gender discrimination.

Raising Awareness about Gendercide: No cultural tradition or difficult circumstance surrounding the birth of a child can change the fact that every human life is of value and possesses dignity. Thankfully, awareness about gendercide has increased in recent years as individuals and organizations have begun to take a stand. One passionate woman in particular, Puchalapalli Sandhya, started a grassroots effort in Kadapa, India to fight gendercide. As shown in the documentary Indiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Missing Girls, 46

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Sandhya operates Aarti, a safe-haven for unwanted girls. Organizations within the U.S. are also working to increase awareness about gendercide. The Population Research Institute, founded by Dr. Steven Mosher, is a reputable pro-life organization that conducts and disseminates research regarding human rights violations, including sex-selective abortions. Another excellent initiative is the All Girls Allowed foundation, begun by humanitarian and Nobel Peace Prize nominee, Chai Ling. Lingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s organization provides practical ways individuals can help save and enrich the lives of girls and women in China.

What about You? Through the dedicated efforts of these and other such organizations, the terrible facts about gendercide are finally becoming known; however, there is still much to be done to end this extreme violation of human dignity. As disciples of the Lord Jesus we should take every opportunity we can to uphold the value and dignity of every human life. Catholics everywhere should make an effort to learn the facts about gendercide, and prayerfully consider joining the fight to stop it.

Learn More: To learn more about gendercide and other human rights violations, visit Population Research Institute at www.pop.org. Also, visit www.itsagirlmovie.com to watch the powerful trailer for the up-coming documentary about gendercide, It’s a Girl!

Want to help? Visit the official website for Aarti, www.aartiforgirls.org, to learn about ways you can help support Puchalapalli Sandhya’s efforts in Kadapa, India. To aid at-risk girls and women in China, visit the All Girls Allowed website: www.allgirlsallowed.org. c

The World Bank Group. Four Million Missing Women. Rep. 2012. Web. Mar. 2012. <http://go.worldbank.org/GPLFFB9PQ0>. 2 World and Media. Female Genocide? The Missing Women and Girls of India andChina. 9 Nov. 2011. Web. 24 Mar. 2012. <http://www.worldandmedia.com>. 3 It’s a Girl! Documentary Film - Official Trailer. Shadowline Films, 2011. Web. Mar. 2012. <www.itsagirlmovie.com>. 1

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FROM THE GUYS

“So the question must be asked, ‘How will you use your beauty?’ John Paul II remarked that the dignity and balance of human life depends at every moment of history and in every place upon who man will be for women, and who women will be for men. So, who will you be for men?” — Jason Evert, Theology of Her Body 48

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FROM THE GUYS

How can women best help men to pursue holiness? What doesn’t help?

Women who are striving for personal holiness themselves are the most effective in helping men become holier. If you are living a life of virtue and responding to grace on your own it will come across naturally in your friendships. It will show in how you behave, how you dress, and what you chose to talk about. Guys see and notice who you choose to be and respond to your example. For a guy, the thought that you’re out there striving to be virtuous inspires and helps him to do the same even when you’re not around. What’s not helpful is when girls try to put up a facade that they’re more virtuous or stronger than they really are. It really crushes a guy if/when he finds out a girl is faking, even if they’re only friends. Just practice being the girl you’re suppose to be, and I guarantee you that you’ll influence the guys around you way more powerfully than you think! – Joseph D.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

FROM THE GUYS

My Dearest Sisters

Dearest Sisters Thoughts about modesty from your brother ...

RYAN KRAEG ER

RYAN KRAEGER grew up on a farm in upstate NY, homeschooled in a devout Catholic home. The second of seven children, he graduated high school at 17 and joined the army the same week. Since then he has served as a combat enginee r in Korea, Iraq and Afghanistan and has reached the rank of Staff Sergeant. He is now branching out in his career and underg oing training as a medic. He is still Catholic.

Thoug hts about Modes ty from Your Brothe

Thoughts about modesty from your brother ... f you look around at the fashions in vogue If you look around at the fashions in vogue today, it seems there is no such thingis as modes re. Thething today, it seems there noty anymo such aswomen modesty secular world treats as objects ... promoting styles of clothing that are increasingly revealing and demeaning. Segments of the Christian world, on thewomen other hand, over-react, anymore. The secular world treats as insisting on floor length skirts and knee high stockin gs as the acceptable minimum standard. Young girls and women are often caught in the middle , left feeling objects... promoting styles of clothing that are that either there is something wrong with their bodies, or all men are just hopelessly depraved ... and that it is all somehow their fault. increasingly revealing and demeaning. Segments In response, Ryan Kraeger, a young Cathol ic soldier, wrote this short book for his own sisterthe of the Christian world, on other hand, over and cousin s, offering them his thoughts on this touchy subject. Drawing from his own experi ence as a man constantly struggling to remain pure in an impure world, react, insisting onPaulfloor length skirts and knee and presen ting insight s from Johnhigh IIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inspiring Theology of the Body, Ryan goes beyond the issues of clothing styles to the dignity of the person wearin g them. standard. stockings as the acceptable minimum In this book you will find an honest, straigh tforward, and loving Young girls and women arevaluesoften caught inaccoun thet of what one young man in a truly modest woman. It is a vision that has changed his life, and will be sure to give encouragement and hope to all womenthat middle, left feeling there is ofsomething who knoweither ... or want to know ... the true value modesty. wrong with their bodies, or all men are just hopelessly depraved ... and that it is all somehow their fault.

In response, Ryan Kraeger, a young Catholic UPC Bar Code? soldier, wrote this short book for his own sister $12.95 and cousins, offering them his thoughts on this Ryan Krae ger touchy subject. Drawing from his own experience as a man constantly struggling to remain pure in an impure world, and presenting insights from John Paul IIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inspiring Theology of the Body, Ryan goes beyond the issues of clothing styles to the dignity of the person wearing them. www.ryankraeger.com

In this book you will find an honest, straightforward, and loving account of what one young man values in a truly modest woman. It is a vision that has changed his life, and will be sure to give encouragement and hope to all women who know ... or want to know ... the true value of modesty.

RYAN KRAEGER grew up on a farm in upstate NY and was homeschooled in a devout Catholic home. The second of seven children, he graduated high school at 17 and joined the army the same week. Since then he has served as a combat engineer in Korea, Iraq and Afghanistan and has reached the rank of Staff Sergeant. He is now a Special Forces Medic in Washington State.

To order your copy of My Dearest Sisters and to hear more from Ryan, visit www.TheManWhoWouldBeKnight.com 50

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FROM THE GUYS

Excerpt from My

Dearest Sisters

...My sisters, you are worth more. I am not saying that to flatter you, or to boost your self esteem, I am saying it because it is true. When you understand exactly how it is true I don’t see how it could puff you up at all. I should think it would rather be a humbling thought. You are not your own, but you have been purchased at a price. You have been betrothed to Christ. Your heart and body are His dwelling. If you give yourself away too readily, to someone unworthy, you are not only hurting yourself, you are debasing the treasure that Jesus purchased by His blood. It is when you understand this, when you see yourself as the guardian of the Lord’s presence in you, that you can fully grasp your own worth, and not be in danger of conceit or vanity. Your worth comes not from yourself, but from God who is in you. Do you see how this extends modesty far beyond what you show or don’t show of your body? Modesty must be a matter of the heart because its ultimate goal is to protect your heart. But just like a boy learns spiritual manhood from working physically, so you can learn spiritual modesty by practicing the physical modesty. Physical modesty covers the parts of your body that are designed to be joined most inti-

mately with another. Spiritual modesty does the same thing in your soul. It is the virtue of saving that most tender and vulnerable part of your heart from casual and temporary attachments, guarding your heart as a pearl of great price, and it is done by flying directly in the face of what comes most naturally to you I’m afraid. We guys find it very natural to examine, analyze and objectify every female body we see, but purity and ultimately manhood can only be achieved by flying in the face of that instinct. You women seem to have a tendency to be willing to fly to the ends of the earth with a guy at the first sign that he’s interested in you. How many girls do you know who gave up studies, homework, time with family, old friends, hobbies, interests, or even time with God, just to spend that time on a guy? That is the very antithesis of modesty, even if she is wearing a sweater and full length skirt. She is giving away the treasure of her heart to someone who has not earned it yet. It’s actually quite comical that I, a guy and thus far a chronic bachelor, should be telling a feminine audience this, but you ladies seem to be prone to getting attached to people. You want to give your time and affections, and then you are hurt when he doesn’t seem to notice what you are doing, or when he takes you for granted,

by Ryan Kraeger

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

FROM THE GUYS or even worse, when he gleefully tells you that he has a girlfriend, and proceeds to enumerate all her wonderful qualities to your less than thrilled ears. What do you expect when you give up your affection to a guy who may not even know you like him? We are notoriously oblivious creatures, we men. Most of us don’t do hints, which is one among many reasons that it is better for you if you wait for us to initiate, rather than just throwing yourself out there like that. If the words “I am interested in you,” have not come out of his mouth, then you need to assume he isn’t interested in you. Wait until he mans up and commits to you before you go planning your wedding. Elisabeth Elliot put it like this: “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right does he have to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention? If, when the time has come for commitment, he is not man enough to ask her to marry

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him, she should give him no reason to presume that she belongs to him.” Women get hurt, much of the time, because they allow their hearts to belong to someone who isn’t willing to treat that treasure with the commitment it deserves. The reason you are so hurt by that kind of rejection is because you have either been cheated, or you have cheated yourself. Your intimacy, emotional and physical intimacy, should only be given to someone who has merited them, and there is only one thing that can merit such a gift, and that is commitment. Until a man is committed to you, he has no right to enjoy your innermost heart. More than that, commitment must come first. He must commit to love, cherish and protect you before that final level of intimacy can be given worthily, and this is your great crime, that you do not require men to be worthy of your gift. Countless women complain about how there are no true knights left in the world. Well, the solution is very simple. Do not settle for anything less than a true knight. Prefer the dignity of living out your life beloved only by God (only by God, forsooth!) to the indignity of trading your heart for the passing regard of a man who won’t even strive to be worthy of it. This is the root of those customs I keep mentioning that have come under attack since the feminist revolt hit our nation. The traditions that placed the men in the role of initiator in romantic relationships existed because our ancestors were wise enough to see that unless the man initiates and the woman responds, the

FROM THE GUYS whole thing starts off on the wrong foot, so to speak. Men, with our drive to struggle and conquer (despite our current wimpy American culture this drive still exists in our hearts) must sacrifice to win our brides, or we lose something vital to our nature as men. It is no accident that all great fairy tales revolve around the hero rescuing his princess from great peril. Women, with your desire to bless and inspire and to be loved, you must know that the men you love can be trusted before you can safely allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. How can you know that unless he proves himself? The only worthwhile indication of character is the character he has shown in his past actions. When the tradition is reversed men are encouraged to be weak. Why should we struggle and sacrifice for a pearl of great price when pearls are being tossed at us right and left? When women come easily to us they lose all perception of value or worth. We cannot look up to or admire women who do not require us to be worthy of them, and those women we cannot admire we cannot love. Many males in our culture think that women tossing themselves at us is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but the men know different. Men know that without sacrifice we are crippled. Just like Adam’s vocation made no sense without Eve, so our manhood seems like an exercise in futility when no women require it of us. Without someone worth loving, cherishing and protecting, our vocation is a shadow of what it should be, and this is true of all men, both those who will marry and those

whom God calls to remain celibate. If the reversal cripples men, it devastates women. When a woman throws herself at a man she is surrendering her self, who she is, her very soul, and getting nothing in return. She gets no security, no respect, no admiration, and no love. After letting everything she has hang out in the hope that it would attract love, she finds she has given away all she had, and has not gotten what she was looking for. She was cheated. But this forces us to ask two questions: How do you make a man work for your regard without being a stuck up flirt? And how can you attract a guy if you are not attracting guys? Once again the answer to both questions is the same. (Are we beginning to see a pattern here?) Only when you rest in God will you be right before humans. We men lose something of our own manhood when we do not sacrifice for you, when we take for granted the greatness of such a gift. Unless we strive to be worthy of it, we are not true men. You do us a favor by guarding your hearts so that they must be pursued and won. How you do it, though, makes all the difference between a proper modesty and vanity and coyness. It isn’t so much that you are doing something, as that you are loving someone. Remember that your heart is to be so wrapped up in God that a man needs to ask God’s permission to court you. We’re not talking about having a detailed application form they need to fill out, like some kind of TV reality show. You aren’t holding tryouts. It seems from the outside as if

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FROM THE GUYS you really aren’t doing anything at all, but you are doing everything. You are living as a modest woman, that is, as a woman who loves God first. You are His garden, which He has planted. He has built a fence around you, both around your body and around your heart, and woe to anyone who tries to climb the fence. They must come through the gate, or not at all. You see, a woman in love with God has high standards, and the highest standard of all is that the man you love must be willing to be second in your life, and not just willing, but he must expect to be second, and absolutely rejoice in that knowledge. Now, everyone has their list of standards that they look for in prospective mates, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I would say that the absolute top standard, the ultimate non-negotiable ought to be that the man who would win your love must lead you closer to God. He must encourage you to love God and obey God ever more and more. Look for this first, before you allow yourself to fall for a guy, and you will go a long way towards protecting your heart. Don’t settle for him merely tolerating your relationship with God. If he does not take responsibility for protecting and encouraging that relationship, he is not the one. He must know

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

that unless he strives to image your first love in his life, he doesn’t stand a chance of ever being your second love. These are your standards, and this is your standard keeper, God Himself. God Himself, your Father, your Divine Lover, will screen your earthly loves for you, simply by virtue of the fact that when you are in love with Him, anyone who is not like Him will not be attractive to you. You will not be tempted to surrender your emotional modesty to less of a man than that. But what about those men who are striving to be Godly? What if you happen to meet a man who is truly living the image of God in his life? How do you still guard your heart when this man has met all your standards? How can you not fall for Him? He must still meet a final standard. He must be chosen for you by God. Love requires trust, and God who is your first love is the one you must trust above all others. Trust Him to be enough for you, whether you ever marry or not, whether any man ever loves you or not. This trust in God is the surest guard you can have on your heart, because it means that you will never be so desperate for human affection that you would be willing to compromise God’s standards for you. Especially, you will never try to grasp for control

FROM THE GUYS and take matters into your own hands. This answers our second question, about how you are to attract a guy without attracting guys. Think back to the Song of Songs. “Awake, O North wind, and come, O South wind! Blow upon my garden, let its fragrance be wafted abroad. Let my Beloved come to His garden And eat its choicest fruits.” Song of Songs 4:16 She is still. She is peaceful, at rest, a hidden, secret garden watered by the fountain of Living Waters, cultivated and landscaped by God Himself. People who walk by see a hedge, with maybe the tops of trees visible over it. Now, even the outside of the hedge might be extraordinarily beautiful, brilliant with all manner of flowers. Maybe these passersby see the hedge and think to themselves, “What a beautiful hedge.” Some might even realize that the outside of this hedge was designed to be beautiful by a Master Gardener, but only those who know enough to make the connection will realize that the outside is just the foretaste of the treasures hidden within. If the Gardener put such care and thought into the outside, what

must the inside be like? As you turn your gaze inward, not inward at yourself, but inward at the Lover of your soul, and learn to live for no one but Him, He will be making a sanctuary in your heart fit for Himself, but in His good time He will also cause the winds to carry the fragrance of your inner beauty abroad. You won’t even know it is happening. The less you know about it, in fact, the less you think about yourself at all, the more haunting and captivating that fragrance will be. Eventually, if it is God’s will, it will find the one who will be willing to ask your Father in Heaven for the key to your heart, who will be willing to be God’s man. He will have to be a son of God to fulfill all that it will require of him, for his vocation will be the same as Adam’s, to tend and guard the garden that is entrusted to him, but if you wait on God, and trust in Him, He will bring you no other kind of man. Not a perfect man, but a man who is being perfected. Then, and only then, will you be free to open your heart completely, and because you have opened your heart with God’s blessing, you will be free to give your body as joyfully. Modesty will not be lost, but fulfilled, and this is how it should be. c

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

Contraception? by Chris Pelicano

Understanding the truth about contraception is impossible unless we first see the truth about love and marriage.

LOVE: Love is selfless, self-donat-

ing, giving—not taking, grasping, using, or withholding. God is Love, and He created every human being out of love, in order to love. Love is our fundamental and innate reason for being. We are called to love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourself. Love is an act of the will, not the appetites, and can be expressed in many ways. But, true love is only true when it is faithful to God’s law.

MARRIAGE: God made man and

woman as sexual beings, stamping their flesh with a natural compatibility and fruitfulness. So precious is this power to co-create new human life and so vast are its consequences (personal, inter-personal, physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, etc.) that God established marriage in order to protect and strengthen the loving union of husband and wife and facilitate the care needed by the children they bring into the world. For this reason, God made marriage permanent and indissoluble—“what God has joined let no 56

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man put asunder”—and ordained that sexual union be confined exclusively to married couples (one man and one woman for life).

CONTRACEPTION: Marriage

is, therefore, ordered to both the loving union of the spouses and the procreation of children. They are inseparable. Every conjugal act between spouses is to be an act of self-donating love and thereby open to the generation of new life. It is wrong for spouses to seek conjugal union while deliberately thwarting their inherent power to generate new life. What’s more to the point, however, is that contraception is a self-deception—it is not really love. It is not self-donating love. This is one of the dirty little secrets of contraception—it masquerades as love but it is a form of selfishness that undermines the very unity that it seeks. Contraception erodes the strength of marriage by hardening spouses hearts in what is ultimately selfish behavior. And when selfishness enters marriage (especially the marriage bed) it can pave the way for abuse, infidelity, and even abortion.

Avoiding contraception does not mean that every conjugal act must result in conception. It means that it must be truly open to conception—not deliberately (or neglectfully) thwarting conception by any means, chemical, mechanical, or otherwise. Couples who may want to regulate births, as an act of responsible parenthood, should not exaggerate their good intentions and rationalize their way to contraceptive behaviors. They should, instead, choose a morally acceptable solution, remembering that chastity in marriage may require them to take advantage of periods of abstinence. It is important to note here that all baptized persons are called to lead chaste lives. This calling emphasizes the importance and logic of cultivating chastity as an indispensable virtue that is applicable to all ages, vocations, and states of life. Despite what our culture says, living chastely is possible, even today! But it requires self-discipline, generosity, prudence, and cooperation with God’s grace.

Finally, it becomes clear that it is only within the context of love and marriage that the immorality and destructiveness of contraception can readily be understood. Contraception is dangerous primarily because it is a counterfeit. It pretends to be an expression of true love that enriches conjugal life, but it is really a stinginess that stops up the fount of life, breeds selfishness, and hurts marriages. Conception must be exposed for the fraud that it is. The best way to do this is to study the real thing and learn what true married love really is. Study the Catechism of the Catholic Church, especially on the sacrament of marriage and the sixth commandment. Casti Connubii, Pope Pius XI’s letter on Christian marriage, is also an excellent resource (the language is dated but the truth is timeless). For married or engaged couples it is also important to learn about family planning methods that respect the sanctity and integrity of conjugal love. Once you know the truth ... by God’s grace, you can live it. c

In our next issue: Catch our follow-up article about Natural Family Planning,

an effective, scientifically based method for couples who wish to live in the truth about sex and marriage while building their family.

What does the Church teach?

KNOW IT. LIVE IT.

REAL CLOSETS

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REAL CLOSETS

by Elizabeth Lepak

When you are ready to style fresh, always start with the basics. Black, gray, navy, and nude colors are excellent choices for investment because every season will show these same colors in some way. Take those basic colors and play mix and match. Who says that every pair of navy pants has to display a matching colored top? Add stripes or a fun pattern and bold-color accessories. Finally, add texture. Lace will be extremely popular this spring so get ready to layer. In fashion, we want volume without being tacky. A fun, springy idea to try is twisting two scarves together to create one new scarf that will add volume to your outfit. Try layering with accessories and wearing belts to define your figure with a pop of color. Fashion is a way of expression and creativity so there are no major rules. Go play mix and match with the things you already own and see if you can transform some of the basics into a new look by adding some new, fun, spring pieces.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REAL CLOSETS

stud pearl earrings

closet

lightweight, jewel-tone scarf

swanky gold bangles and cuff bracelet

light beige, billowy cotton top tied in a cute knot at the hem for an added feminine touch

wide brown belt

Straight jeans with wide turned-up cuffs

Glittery gold flats 60

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REAL CLOSETS

closet blue/green/yellow textured jacket with 3/4 length sleeves and fringe edges for a fun springy flair

yellow knee-length dress

bright turquoise clutch and bold yellow ring

matching turquoise peep-toe wedges Copyright 2012 Dignitas Magazine. All rights reserved. No material from this website may be copied, reproduced or distributed without express written permission from Dignitas Magazine.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REAL CLOSETS stud pearl earrings and fun loose curls

closet white scoop-neck top to layer under strappy dresses brown woven belt for a finishing touch

bright floral springy dress

Sseko sandals 62

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

REAL CvOSETS

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

VENUES OF GRACE

Romance the

Eucharist of the

by Heather Burgess

“Once upon a time...”

Fairytale romances are introduced into our lives as little girls, and without our even trying, the longing for a love story of our own is born. This longing is deeply engrained within the female heart. We women desire to be known intimately, to be pursued, and to be fought for. Our Father well knows these desires because He placed them in our hearts Himself. He tenderly regards our natural longings for a “Prince Charming” whose love we hope will meet our heart’s needs. God also knows, though, that not even 64

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the most perfect earthly romance can completely fulfill our desires like He can. How could any human love come close to matching the King of Love’s affection? In the extravagance of His love for us, Our Father gave us the gift of His Son’s real presence in the Eucharist. In the Blessed Sacrament we encounter the ultimate romance because it is there we find the one who knows us most intimately, pursues us personally, and has fought for us most gallantly.

VENUES OF GRACE

We are known:

Jesus knows us more intimately than we even know ourselves. In the book of Jeremiah God tells us, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated youâ&#x20AC;? (Jer. 1:5). So not only does God know our unique physical characteristics and the innermost workings of our soul, but He has known them since before we even drew our first breath! God knows us intimately and personally because He wants to have a relationship with us. Through the Eucharist we have the unique opportunity to draw close to our Lord in person and grow in that relationship with Him. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament is a wonderful Copyright 2012 Dignitas Magazine. All rights reserved. No material from this website may be copied, reproduced or distributed without express written permission from Dignitas Magazine.

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

VENUES OF GRACE

way to seek Jesus and show Him that He is our priority. During a Holy Hour we can quietly converse with Him, sharing our fears, hopes, and needs— He promises to listen. Again through the prophet Jeremiah God says, “You will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jer. 29:12-13). As we draw closer to Jesus we come to understand how much He wants us to find Him, and how much He treasures the quiet time we spend with Him, talking and listening. We take our intimacy with Christ a step further when we actually receive Him in Holy Communion. Christ desires to abide within us, and for us to abide within Him (John 6:57). He instituted the Eucharist so that His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity could completely fill us and we could become one with Him. Who could know us more intimately than He who dwells within us? When we receive Jesus in Holy Communion our relationship with Him is nourished in the most powerful way possible, and we begin to see our lives transformed. By communing with Him we come to realize the sincerity and purity of Jesus’s love for us. We are also given the grace 66

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to realize how precious we are in His eyes, and to see more clearly who He created us to be.

We are pursued:

Because He knows us more intimately than anyone else, Jesus can pursue us most personally. Scriptures tell us that God’s desire for us is a personal one: “I have called you by name: you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1) The Bible is full of accounts of God eagerly, even jealously pursuing His chosen people, longing for them to throw down their idols and give Him their undivided love. God never forces Himself upon us, though; instead, He seeks to win us with His love. In Song of Songs God pleads as a lover, “Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one, come with me” (Song 2:10). Jesus makes the same heart-felt plea to us today in the Eucharist. As Saint Therese of Lisieux put it, “Do you realize that Jesus is there in the tabernacle expressly for you - for you alone? He burns with the desire to come into your heart.” Did you know that you are Christ’s beloved, His beautiful one, and that He wants you to draw close to Him

VENUES OF GRACE

through the Eucharist? In an earthly relationship, we long to spend as much time as possible with the man we love. Should we not be as eager to be with Christ in the Eucharist? Just as with earthly romances, the more time we spend with Christ the better we learn how to love Him and to see the ways He pursues us in our daily lives. Through breathtaking sunsets, encouraging Scripture verses, or kind words from a friend, Christ pursues each of us individually, knowing exactly how to make us feel most loved.

We have been fought for: In every great fairytale, the hero must fight to win his lady’s heart, often risking his own life to save her from danger. Even as little girls, there was something about this gallant love that stirred our hearts. We women want a man to love us so much that he would even go into battle to fight for and save us. By His sacrifice on the cross, Jesus did just that. He, who knows us intimately and pursues us individually, was willing to die so that we may live. The Eucharist is Jesus’s chosen way for us to remember His self-sacrificing love for us. Each time we kneel before the Eucharist we are reminded that

Jesus sacrificed his Body and Blood to save us from the greatest danger of all, eternal separation from Him. Because He is the greatest of all lovers, Jesus’s sacrifice does more than spare our lives temporarily—it offers us the way to eternal life! Encountering Jesus in Adoration and receiving him in Holy Communion fills us with the power of His saving love and strengthens our hearts with the ability to love others as selflessly as He loves us.

Are you ready?

Truly present in the Eucharist, Jesus proposes the perfect romance and the most fulfilling answer to our desire to be known, pursued, and fought for. Again, Our Lord does not force Himself upon us, but He is there for us when we respond to His call and are open to receiving His love. All that remains to be answered then is this: Are you ready to be known? Are you ready to be pursued? Are you ready to be fought for? Go, then, and adore your Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament and be united to Him in Holy Communion! An incomparable romance awaits you, for through the Eucharist you will come to abide in Christ’s love most intimately and discover your true

ever after. c

happily

Dignitas Magazine | Spring 2012

May God bless you this Easter Season. He is Risen! Alleluia! Blessed John Paul II, Pray for us! Dignitas Magazine is powered by prayer, La Mer by Charles Trénet, waltzing to Strauss’ Blue Danube, and toast breaks.