Mary shares...
LCA
PRESCHOOL LAKELAND CHRISTIAN ACADEMY PERSCHOOL
Celebrate Christmas this month!
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397 S. STEMMONS FWY. • LEWISVILLE, TX 75067 972-219-3939 • LCAPRESCHOOL.ORG www.facebook.com/LakelandChristianAcademyPreschool
ack in the middle of November I overheard a woman say to her teenage daughter, “I wish Christmas was over!” I think she was annoyed about the crowded store. I could not help myself and offered a genuine side-note to her dismay with a gentle reminder; I said, “the truth is the Christmas season has not even started.” She looked at me, not with annoyance, but rather a look of “do you see what is around us”, most likely all the Christmas themes and aggressive shoppers. I smiled and told her that I was here to purchase candles; 3 purple, one pink and one white to help my family prepare for the Christmas season. Interested, she asked what the candles had to do with preparing for Christmas. So I told her we celebrate the Season of Advent (Latin: adventus=arrival) which starts four Sundays prior to Christmas Day. It’s a time to prepare our hearts for the birth of Jesus. Continuing, I explained that these 4 weeks simply enriches the celebration of Christmas and allows us to have a God-focused experience, both precious and peaceful during what is often a hectic holiday season. Now, I have asked the question and I’m sure you’re aware of all the discussion boards online too, so
I’ll share my take on the retailers starting so early with Christmas. To me, it’s no big deal. In my home we are still decorated for Thanksgiving until the Turkey is eaten and the table is cleared! Then Caroline and I start the transformation. We take down the fall décor and bring out the Christmas tree, the Nativity, and arrange the Advent Wreath along with the myriad of other decorations that will be scattered throughout the house. To give you full disclosure, every year I say, “I’m going to get a head start on Christmas gifts!” Well, it never happens. I guess I am a true calendar girl and like to stick to the tradition of December Christmas shopping. But I can assure you Christmas will be celebrated from December 25th through to the Epiphany on January 6th and we will be Merry and Bright! Stay true to your traditions! When they are done right they lend a certain magic and spirit to our lives. And continuing them in your own family is a great way to teach your children about your family’s cultural and religious history which adds to their personal identity. Blessings to all our readers and advertisers! SP
Mary Ellen
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. — John 15:12
COVER MODEL Brooks, 14 months old This happy-go-lucky guy already knows what he wants to be when he grows up; a professional basketball player or a Priest! He is excited too because in June 2015 he will become a big brother. And this is great because right now he calls his 2 dogs, Rocky and Gus, his brothers!
Misty Stagnone Photography, www.mistystagnonephotography.com
Suburban Parent magazines Suburban Parent 8344 Sterling Street | Irving, Texas 75063 | 972.887.7779 editor@suburbanparent.com | advertising@suburbanparent.com Suburban Parent and Irving Parent are registered trademarks. Reader correspondence and editorial submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit all submissions due to space. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without express written permission is prohibited.
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n e p O w No ! e l l i v s i in Lew
go with the roll
COLOR ME HAPPY
At about four months your baby should be able to roll from front to back. This is a big deal and a milestone to watch out for because it demonstrates the baby’s core body strength. But, rolling from back to front is not a big deal, so don’t worry if he doesn’t do it. The same thing goes for crawling. There are no specific guidelines to when a baby should crawl. In fact some never do. Some go straight to walking.
If you consider coloring just a kid’s activity, think again. Coloring has a de-stressing effect on adults. Besides making us focus on a particular activity instead of our worries, it also brings out our imagination and takes us back to our childhood (a much less stressful time in our lives). Using both logic and creativity, it activates the different areas of our two cerebral hemispheres. Plus, it’s simply relaxing. Psychologists have used it as a relaxing technique for years. So, if you’re feeling a little
Holiday Waste Household waste increases by 25 percent between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day – that’s an estimated 1 million tons of additional waste per week during that time. It goes without saying that wrapping paper and ribbon are a big part of that waste. Consider other gift wrapping ideas this year, like reusable containers or better yet, vintage containers or jars. See more unique gift wrapping ideas at www.pinterest.com/ suburbanparent/unique-gift-wrapping
tense, put on some good music and pull out the crayons and coloring books (they’ve got some great ones for adults now too). It won’t eliminate your problems, but it will alleviate some of the stress. And who knows, the kids might calm down too.
youshouldknow... Pregnant + travel? Prepare to protect your legs during long air flights and road trips! Support stockings help prevent potentially serious blood clots in your legs (called deep vein thrombosis). They also help minimize swelling. The knee-high style are recommended so you can easily take them on and off. You can find them in drug stores and online.
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a step AHEAD More than half of Millennials (54%) started saving for retirement between the ages of 18-24. Right out of high school! So, a good chunk of the younger generation is saving for retirement a full 10 years earlier than older generations who started around age 33. That tells us parents today are doing a great job of teaching their kids about saving and being smart about money.
momsolvers
questions... MONICA, MOM OF 2
MARIA, READER AND HOPEFUL
READER, MOM OF 3 BOYS
Q How long should I wait when
Q Is there a diet to improve fertil-
Q I have recently been told the
asks...
asks...
my child injures an extremity on the soccer field before bringing her into the emergency room? When swelling does not go down? Or right away?
a
Deciding when your child needs to be seen in an emergency room after a sports injury can be difficult. Obviously, when there is a deformity or the pain is too intolerable, a trip to the ER is required. Otherwise, I use this rule of thumb: if the child is unable to use the injured extremity at all, you should seek urgent medical attention. If the injured extremity is able to be used some, with tolerable pain (such as a step on a hurt ankle, or picking up a pencil with a hurt hand) then it’s reasonable to wait a few days and follow up.
JEFF ERDNER D.O, Highland Park ER/ Preston Hollow ER, Board Certified in Emergency Medicine
ity in women? We are not having any luck!
a
First, know you are not alone! Infertility affects about 7.3 million women and their partners in the U.S., according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. It’s important to maintain a healthy weight; studies show that being overweight can alter hormone levels and throw off your ovulation schedule. You can see an improvement with as little as 5% weightloss. Choose foods wisely; like dark colored vegetables, fruits, hearty whole grains, beans and dairy. I’m sure your doctor has put you on a prenatal vitamin which includes Folic Acid. While it won’t make you more fertile, it’s crucial that women trying to conceive obtain 400 mcg per day of folic acid. Folic acid is needed to prevent neural tube defects. The neural tube develops into the brain and spine three to four weeks after conception, before most women even realize they’re pregnant!
M.E. CALDWELL, RDN, Your Favorite Dietitian
ask...
the specialist MEGAN HAUPERT
asks...
lines running horizontally across my neck are called necklace lines and can be treated with Botox. I’m not a fan of Botox; is there any other treatment to improve my neck appearance?
a
Botox is not effective for horizontal neck lines. This problem is typically genetic (inherited from your parents) and/or a result of sun exposure combined with a loss of elasticity of the skin due to aging. Laser treatment is the most effective therapy for reducing these lines. To prevent worsening of horizontal neck lines, care for the skin on your neck just as you do the skin on your face—cleanse it well and always protect it from sun exposure.
DR. LISA FAIRWEATHER specializes in minimally invasive cosmetic procedures for facial correction and enhancement. www.BeautifullyRefreshed.me
Q WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF AUTISM? There are several signs that we should be aware of to recognize Autism. The hallmark feature of Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is impaired social interaction. Even as early as infancy, a baby with ASD may be unresponsive to people and/or they may focus intently on one item to the exclusion of others for long periods of time. Also, a child with ASD may appear to develop normally and then withdraw and become indifferent to social engagement. Children with ASD may fail to respond to their names and often avoid eye contact with other people. Because they can’t understand social cues, such as tone of voice or facial expressions, they have difficulty interpreting what others are thinking or feeling. Because of this they may lack empathy. Megan Haupert, Board Certified Behavior Analyst, The Missing Peace Autism Therapy Center
EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS to editor@suburbanparent.com, subject “questions” or SUBMIT QUESTIONS ON FACEBOOK.COM/MOMSOLVERS. Either way, we’ll find answers! 8 | Suburban Parent | Don’t forget to tell our advertisers you saw them in Suburban Parent!
curls to envy…
Bouncy Bop Shape Sorter
FROM THE MICROWAVE!
SoCal Curls - Teens and their tresses...it’s all about the beautiful curls for today’s girls! But, when you’ve got to get out the door to school early, time is everything. In as little as thirty minutes you can get the look with SoCal Curls hair tie! This hair tie only takes a few minutes to heat, tie and wrap and is filled with an organic mix that retains heat after only thirty seconds in the microwave. Wrap hair strands around it, then untie it to release your hair and achieve gorgeous curls. (video available online).
All little ones love fitting these colorful shapes into the holes on top of the Bouncy Bop Shape Sorter! And when the shapes fall inside and hit the latex surface, they go boing! Once all the shapes are inside, children can push the side handle to activate the paddle and watch the shapes go boing, boing, boing over and over! Develops fine motor skills and increases finger dexterity as well as hand/eye coordination! FIND IT: www.barnesandnoble.com $30.
FIND IT: www.socalcurls.com $18.99
GOT CARS?
Printed to look like a road, PlayTape Classic Road is a roll of removable tape that is perfect for playing with toy and model cars. It’s a fast, fun way to lay down instant roads anywhere for creative play. With a single roll of PlayTape, you can create a road or a whole city. Use the toy cars you already have to drive on PlayTape. Materials: Toxin-free, disposable, and recyclable self-adhesive paper tape.
SUSTAINED BEAUTY
FIND IT: www.thegrommet.com $13.
Beautiful and purposeful, Sophia Costas scarves are on a mission to do more than adorn your outfit. They combine artistic style, artisan practices, and a commitment to doing good. Drawing on her love of nature, her hand illustrated styles feature playful patterns from cheerful animals to whimsical outdoor scenes encountered on her trip. FIND IT: www.thegrommet.com $39
Pocket stash with class! Add a dash of dapper to your look with Hank, a snazzy pocket square with a decidedly modern update. It has two interior pockets; one has a cushy microfiber lining to hold a phone or glasses; the other can carry items like cash, credit card, or ID. FIND IT: www.meethank.com $40.
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moMENts BY PATRICK HEMPFING
The Most Wonderful Time
L
ife is hectic enough with the day-today stuff. Each day, I add more items to my To Do list than I check off. Will I ever catch up? It’s unlikely. And then it happens – Christmas rolls around. Shopping, decorating, traveling … collapsing. I sarcastically sing, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” Conversely, my daughter, Jessie, plays Christmas music in July. Around September, she asks, “How many days until Christmas?” So I need to take off my “Bah Hum Bug” hat and find my joyous one. Right after Thanksgiving last year, Jessie asked, “When can we decorate for Christmas?” A few minutes later, Jessie inquired, “When are we going to get a tree?” Since we weren’t going to be home for Christmas, I suggested we forego the tree and just put out the nativity set. Not to mention, it’s a hectic time for my wife’s work, so I knew Mattie would be unavailable to assist. I decided to get into the Christmas spirit. This sounds better than “I gave in.” Jessie and I set up the nativity set first, one that took my wife over ten years to select as she wanted to find the perfect one. It’s fragile. But Jessie wanted to arrange all the pieces. I think I said, “Be careful,” with each piece I handed to her. She did a fantastic job organizing it. At the end, she tucked her battery-operated disco ball behind the angel as she wanted the scene to be spectacular. I think it’s safe to say that not too many households’ nativity scenes contained Joseph, Mary, Baby Jesus, and a rotating disco ball. However, I agreed that the colored lights rotating behind the manger scene did add a certain flare without detracting from the beauty and symbolism of the display. The next day, Jessie and I went tree shopping. We walked down one aisle and up the next. I pulled out four or five 5’ to 6’ trees and stood them up for Jessie to inspect. “We need a bigger tree,
Dad.” Jessie and I moved to the row with 6’ to 7’ trees. Just when I thought, “This is going to take forever,” Jessie said, “It’s perfect!” to a Douglas fir just under 7’ tall. Jessie immediately named our tree “Sally.” I left home with Jessie and returned with Jessie and Sally. The following day, I retrieved all the boxes marked “Christmas” from the garage. Jessie immediately went to work decorating. Once, I came in from the garage to find five red-velvet bows hanging from the light fixture above my desk. The bows’ tails were almost touching my computer and were within two feet of my nose when I typed. Still, I had to admit my new work environment brought a smile to my face. Next, Jessie and I wrapped Sally in lights, another memorable experience. Jessie did not quite grasp the concept (or maybe she did but chose not to apply it) that lights need to gradually descend from top to bottom. It had to be a Christmas miracle, because, somehow, Sally ended up with lights covering her. Then, Jessie enthusiastically unwrapped the ornaments, which we had carefully packed away the previous year. One special and fragile ornament recorded Jessie’s tiny footprint in plaster. It had taken great effort for Mattie and me to hold her foot still enough
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to make it for her first Christmas. I asked Jessie to hand it to me. The imprint was only 3” long and 1 1/2” wide. Where did my baby go? I know it wasn’t a grenade, but I handled it like one. As Sally became full of ornaments, Jessie concluded, “We need a bigger tree.” We finished decorating and then sat in the dark admiring our work. The bright parts with an abundance of lights and the dark spaces without lights all looked good behind the scores of handmade ornaments and souvenirs of our travels and past Christmases together. As we packed things away in January, I smiled, happy I had invested the time, energy, and expense. Something tells me, we’ll do it all over again next December. Before too long, I’ll hear Jessie say, “Dad, it’s time to get a tree. Let’s get a real big one this year.” But whether we bring home a Peggy, Jane, Susan, or another Sally, I’ll remember Christmas just might be “the most wonderful time of the year.” Until next month, remember to cherish the moments. SP Patrick Hempfing had a 20-year professional career in banking, accounting, and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad and writer.
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I
f change is the only constant at your house, you may long for the comfort and connectedness family traditions instill. Even if you don’t have the secret recipe for Grandma’s snickerdoodles, you’ve got what it takes to make fond memories for your kids this season. “In these fast-paced times, many of us hunger for simple, meaningful traditions we can pass on to our children,” says Nava Atlas, author of Everyday Traditions: Simple Family Rituals for Connection and Comfort. And family rituals need not be elaborate, Atlas contends. Simpler may be better. That’s good news for parents too busy or broke to host an extravagant party or take the kids to Hawaii. When you combine these not-so-secret ingredients with the themes you’re passionate about –maybe nature, fitness, or philanthropy – you’ll go from ordinary mom to memory-maker extraordinaire.
ANTICIPATION. Feel happy even before the fun begins. Let kids count down with big, bold Xs on the calendar or by making a paper chain and removing one link each day. Didn’t plan that far ahead? Count down the hours to tonight’s “picnic dinner under the stars” by singing Twinkle, Twinkle every hour on the hour and announcing “six 14 | Suburban Parent | Don’t forget to tell our advertisers you saw them in Suburban Parent!
hours to go” and so on. Your enthusiasm will get kids excited about what’s to come. Bonus: They’ll remember the fun they had every time they hear Twinkle, Twinkle.
CONSISTENCY. You know kids love repetition because they’ve asked you to read the same bedtime story every night for three weeks. And new isn’t necessarily better when it comes to making memories. “The repetitive, cyclical, and predictable nature of rituals is what makes them comforting and reassuring,” Atlas says. Hang some old decorations, even if they don’t look elegant. Your kids will fight over those tacky baubles when they have families of their own. SPECIALNESS. Daily activities become memory makers when you add a twist. Light candles on the dinner table or don glow-stick necklaces to light up the longest night of the year (this year’s Winter Solstice is Sunday, December 21st). Add vanilla extract and colored sugar sprinkles to kids’ milk and call it “holiday cheer.” Serve throughout the season or whenever kids’ spirits need a boost. Traditions don’t have to be big to be memorable.
VIVIDNESS. Smells, sounds, and images can bring back feelings with amazing force. Repeat “I Think I Can, I Think I Can” as you chug up the hill on your bikes or if a gifted Texas mid-winter day, carrying sleds! Wear red foam noses while you watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer together (buy noses at a costume or party supply shop or order online at www.orientaltrading.com). Fill the tub with bubbles and have an Abominable Snowman casting call. Sensory elements heighten our experiences and help create a slowed-down, in-the-moment feeling, says Atlas. POSITIVITY. If – or should I say when – things don’t go as planned, take twists and turns in stride and keep your tone lighthearted. A present without a gift tag is not a disaster, it’s “the mystery gift.” Pass it around and ask each member of the family to shake and jiggle it before guessing what it is and for whom. Let the littlest family member open it and carry it to the intended recipient. Some of the best family traditions come about by accident.
PARTICIPATION. Get everyone involved in a way that uses their skills and talents. Little kids might stir cookie dough or decorate paper gift bags for their cousins’ presents. Bigger kids might act out a favorite song or story or make custom thank-you cards. You’ll certainly want to capture events on camera, but don’t get lost behind the lens. You could use a little glitter-gluing therapy, too. BEING. Make holiday happenings special by being there completely – in mind, body, and spirit. Leave your paperwork at the office and turn off your cell phone in honor of the mid-winter snow-shoveling contest in the front yard. Notice how your kids light up (or groan, “Oh, mom…”) when you cheer them on. Let dishes pile up in the sink while you the kids trounce you in an after-dinner Wii bowling tournament. Your undivided attention is the most powerful memory-maker of all.
REFLECTION. Savor holiday traditions by thinking about what they mean to you and sharing your thoughts with those you love. Intentional reflection helps us to learn from and remember our experiences. Plus, it will warm your heart to know what your kids loved most about volunteering at the food bank was stacking the cans in rows (your 3-year-old engineer) or singing Jingle Bells while they loaded boxes into recipients’ cars (your 7-year-old would-be diva). Meaningful family traditions build a sense of shared identity and security that comforts kids and grown-ups alike when the busy-ness and stress of modern life are overwhelming. Best of all, the fond memories you make will never be lost, get broken, or go out of style. You can’t say that about most other gifts you’ll give this season, can you? SP
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the
{ Your Community Calendar }
December 2014
know it all
SP = Advertisers
mon 1
CFBSA Spring Soccer Registration Mon-12am-12pm Youth recreational soccer for ages 3-19 in the communities of Castle Hills, Carrollton and Farmers Branch . Registration runs through Jan 12. Register online at www.cfbsoccer.net. 972-245-9307. CFBSA, Carrollton, 972-245-9307, www.cfbsoccer.net.
ICE! At Gaylord Texan featuring Frosty the Snowman Through Jan 3, 2015. Everyone’s favorite snowman comes to life in more than 2 million pounds of colorful hand-carved ice sculptures. Don’t miss this nine degree winter wonderland with six ice slides. It’s all part of Lone Star Christmas. Tickets start at $21.99 (ages 13+) and 11.99 (ages 4-12). Gaylord Texan Hotel, 1501 Gaylord Trail, Grapevine, 817-778-1000 christmasatgaylordtexan.com. See ad in this issue.
Octonauts and Scuba Diving Santa at Sea Life Aquarium Grapevine Through Dec. 21. Scuba Santa is scheduled to dive in a magical dive show amongst the fish, sharks and sea turtles at 11:30am on Dec 13, 14, 20 & 21. Octonauts holiday events include Meet and Greets, Scavenger Hunts, Story Time, Videos, and Coloring Activities throughout the month. Go to www.visitsealife.com/grapevine/ octonauts for more info. See ad in this issue for Kids Go Free coupon.
Holiday Bricktacular at Legoland® Discovery Center
Through December. Deck the halls with loads of brick-tastic holiday fun including searching for Santa through MINILAND, writing letters to Santa, having complimentary milk and cookies with LEGO® Santa (Dec 7, 14 &21), helping build an enchanting winter wonderland village out of LEGO bricks (first 3 weekends from noon-5), and competing in festive build challenges for a chance to win an annual pass (Dec
4, 13 & 20 at 11am & 2pm). Visit www. LEGOLANDDiscoveryCenter.com/dallasfw for more info. See ad in this issue for Kids Go Free coupon.
more $8; Student groups of 10 or more $5. Irving Arts Center, 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving, 972-252-2787, www. irvingartscenter.com
Farmers Branch Christmas in the Park Through Dec. 30. With over
Celebrate Silver and Gold - 22nd Annual Holiday Exhibition
300,000 twinkling lights on trees, displays, and city structures, our Christmas in the Park is one you cannot miss! The event begins on the Friday after Thanksgiving with the Tour of Lights and stretches all the way until December 30. With the wonderful help from our local non-profits, we are able to host every night between those dates (with the exception of December 6th and Christmas Day) an opportunity to drive-through the lights. We also have a special Christmas Tree Lighting on December 6th, where you are able to countdown the official lighting of the Farmers Branch Christmas Tree and then witness another great firework show! Farmers Branch Historical Park, 2540 Farmers Branch Lane, Farmers Branch, 972-247-3131.
Peruvian Gold: Ancient Treasures Unearthed Exhibit
9am-5pm, through December 31. The Irving Arts Center is hosting the special exhibition, Peruvian Gold: Ancient Treasures Unearthed, along with a full schedule of free. The series of films, lectures, hands-on art sessions, tours and gallery talks are designed to complement the remarkable collection of ancient gold and silver artifacts excavated from Peru’s legendary royal tombs included in the exhibition. Peruvian Gold is presented in partnership with the National Geographic Museum in Washington D.C. and will showcase extraordinary objects from Peru’s pre-Inca heritage, including gold ceremonial and funerary masks, textiles, ceremonial ornaments, ceramics and jewelry. EXHIBIT HOURS: Tues., W, F, Sat 10a.-5p; Thurs. 10a-8p; Sun 1-5p; closed Mondays, and Christmas Day. PRICE: Adults $12; Seniors, Students, COI Employees, Art Connection & National Geographic Members, Military, and groups of 10 or
Through Dec. 31. Art from Irving ISD elementary students shines in new venues this year as part of the Peruvian Gold: Ancient Treasures Unearthed exhibit celebration. The lobbies of the Dupree Theater, Carpenter Hall and Administration Foyer will be filled with beautiful silver and gold themed artwork. Free Irving Arts Center, 3333 North MacArthur Blvd., Irving, 972-252-2787, www. irvingartscenter.com.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
Through Jan. 4, 2015. 9am - 5pm Celebrate the holidays like never before with this centerpiece exhibit featuring an elaborate collection of life-size Victorian gazebos filled with the charming costumed characters made famous by the beloved Christmas carol. Each gazebo will be encased in glass and extravagantly decorated on all sides to provide a dramatic, three-dimensional experience, and will feature working mechanical parts that will assist in bringing the characters to an even more life-like state. The Dallas Arboretum, 8525 Garland Road, Dallas, www. dallasarboretum.org.
Frosty & Friends Through Dec. 21. Join Frosty, Santa, and their friends for an all-new revue that blends a variety of musical and puppetry styles. Visit website for show times/dates and tickets. Dallas Children’s Theater, 5938 Skillman, Dallas, 214-978-0110, www.dct.org.
Miracle on 34th Street Through Dec. 21. Based on the beloved film and novel, this is a nostalgic holiday treat for the whole family! Visit website for show times/dates and tickets. Dallas Children’s Theater, 5938 Skillman, Dallas, 214-978-0110, www.dct.org.
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The Trains at NorthPark™ Benefiting the Ronald McDonald House of Dallas Through Jan. 4,
2015. Located on Level One between Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom. The most elaborate miniature toy trains exhibit includes trains rolling across 1,600 feet of track on a journey across America. The Trains at NorthPark™ hours: Monday-Saturday 10am–9pm, Sunday 12pm–6pm, Christmas Eve 10am–4pm, Christmas Day Closed. New Year’s Eve 10am–4pm, New Year’s Day 12–6pm. NorthPark Center, 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas.
Scrooge & Santa’s Toy Shoppe Puppet Theatre Through Dec. 24. NorthPark Center’s whimsical Scrooge Puppet Theatre has been a holiday tradition for more than three decades. Scrooge Puppet Theatre shows start at the bottom of the hour of every hour. NorthPark Center, 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas, 214-369-1234.
Storytime & Photos with Santa Claus Through Dec. 24. Gather around Santa’s picture-book cottage to hear stories about the North Pole. Santa has been telling tales at NorthPark for decades, and we invite you to make it a part of your family’s holiday tradition. Tickets are available starting at 9AM, Monday-Saturday, and 10AM on Sunday. Santa Claus hours: Monday-Saturday 11am-2pm, 2:30pm-5pm,5:30pm-7pm; Sunday 12:30pm-3pm, 3:30pm-5pm. Christmas Eve 10am-2pm. NorthPark Center, 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas, 214-369-1234.
Sparkle at the Anatole Through Jan. 4, 2015. Sparkle! Christmas at the Anatole offers the ultimate family holiday experience during the most wonderful time of year. Visit website for details, ticket prices and operating hours. Hilton Anatole Hotel, 2201 N. Stemmons Freeway, Dallas, 214-7481200, www.hiltonanatolehotel.com/ christmas-experience.
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the know it all A Christmas Carol Through Dec.
27. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, when last season’s sold-out, family-favorite, holiday production of A Christmas Carol returns to the Wyly Theatre. A Christmas Carol is Dallas’ newest “mustsee” holiday tradition. Appropriate for families. Recommended for ages 8 and above. Visit website for exact show times and to purchase tickets. Wyly Theater, 2400 Flora Street, Dallas, www. dallastheatercenter.org.
Gift of Lights at Texas Motor Speedway 6-10pm, through Jan. 1,
2015. Gift of lights is back and the fun is bigger, better and brighter than ever before. And new this year, we have snow! Snow Town, a new attraction this year, features a unique outdoor tubing hill, snow castles, snowball gallery and a play area. Please visit website for full details. Texas Motor Speedway, 3545 Lone Star Circle, Fort Worth, www. giftoflightstms.com.
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Runs through Dec. 20. Everyone knows this Christmas Holiday Classic by heart! But did you know the mouse’s name was Izzy, shut out of his snug home on Christmas Eve? Be part of Izzy’s great adventure to the North Pole. Packed with laughs and audience participation, this fun show ends with a lump in your throat and everyone reciting Clement Moore’s famous poem! Visit website for dates, show time and tickets! Artie’s Playhouse, 418 E Pipeline Rd, Hurst, 817-284-1200, artisanct.com/arties-playhouse.
will stay open from 10am-9pm first Thursdays. Come early and stay late! Perot Museum of Science and Nature, 2201 N. Field, Dallas, 214-428-5555, www.perotmuseum.org.
fri 5 A Gift for Emma, A Holiday Fantasy in Dance for the Whole Family! Dec. 5 & 6 at 7:30pm. See ad in this issue. Krum High School Performance Center, 811 E. McCart St., Krum, 940-383-2623. www.DentonCityContemporaryBallet.org.
An Old Fashioned Christmas 6-8:30pm. Victorian carolers and Santa Claus will be spreading holiday cheer. Enjoy cookies, hot chocolate, ornament making, and even a petting zoo at our annual event to welcome the season! A.W. Perry Homestead Museum, 1509 N. Perry Rd, Carrollton, www.cityofcarrollton.com/museum.
Kraig Parker’s Elvis Christmas Spectacular 7:30pm. It’s an Elvis Christmas Spectacular, Elvis has NOT left the building! Irving Arts Center, Carpenter Hall, 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving, 972-252-2787, www.irvingartscenter.com.
Dallas Symphony Christmas Pops
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The Dallas Symphony’s beloved traditions returns with an all-new concert featuring holiday favorites, Visit website for specific performance times and to purchase tickets. The Meyerson Symphony Center, 2301 Flor Street, Dallas, www.mydso.com.
Our Village Glows (Highland Village) 6:30pm-10pm A festive com-
North Pole Express Dec. 5-21.
munity event enjoyed by thousands is a holiday tradition of more than ten years! The Shops at Highland Village, 1701 Shoal Creek, Highland Village, www.highlandvillage.org.
Free LEGO Mini Build 5pm. Children ages 6-15 ONLY can celebrate every month with a free mini build at LEGO stores at Stonebriar Mall & Northpark Center. First Tuesdays beginning at 5pm until all kits are gone. www.lego.com.
wed 3 Grapevine Light Show Spectacular Twinkling lights abound at the Light Show Spectacular in the heart of Historic Downtown Grapevine. Watch this show at the corner of Main and Dallas Streets. Historic Downtown Main Street, Grapevine, www.grapevinetexasusa.com/christmas.
Create a unique “Family Christmas Memory” aboard the Grapevine Vintage Railroad’s North Pole Express®, one of the most popular Christmas Capital of Texas events. Tickets for the North Pole Express are on sale now. Advance purchase recommended. Please arrive at the Train Depot at least 45-60 minutes prior to ticketed departure time. Allow an additional 20 minutes for shuttle parking and complimentary transfer. Boarding closes 5 minutes prior to your departure time. Infants (0-12 months) that are issued a complimentary ticket must be held in an adult’s lap. All tickets are non-refundable and non-exchangeable. Missed trains will not be refunded. Historic Cotton Belt Depot, Grapevine, 705 S. Main Street, Grapevine, 817-4103185, www.grapevinetexasusa.com.
Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns 7:30pm. American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Ave, Dallas, www.mavs.com
thu 4
sat 06
First Thursday Late Night at the Perot Museum-Gadgets 7-9pm.
Farmers Branch Christmas Tree Lighting 6:30pm. Countdown the
Discover new inventions and research with guest scientists, and even create your own invention. The Perot Museum
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official lighting of the Farmers Branch Christmas Tree and then witness another great firework show! This night also
SPRING REGISTRATION NOW - JANUARY 12, 2015 WWW.CFBSOCCER.NET
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the know it all includes a visit from Santa, a snow hill for tubing, a FREE Kidzone, an opportunity to write a letter to Santa, holiday treats for everyone and much, much more! Farmers Branch Historical Park, 2540 Farmers Branch Lane, Farmers Branch, 972-247-3131.
Carrollton Christmas on the Square 11am-3pm. Bring the little ones to meet Santa and enjoy seasonal shopping in Historic Downtown Carrollton. Get into the spirit of the season by strolling the shops in search of the perfect gift or stocking stuffer. Sponsored by the Old Downtown Carrollton Association. Historic Downtown Carrollton, 1102 W. Main St., Carrollton, historicdowntowncarrollton.com.
4pm NorthPark Center, 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas, 214-369-1234.
Shed Your Winter Coat at the Dallas Zoo 9am-4pm. The Zoo Unto Others employee volunteer team at the Dallas Zoo is sponsoring the “Shed Your Winter Coat” coat drive to benefit clients of The Stewpot, a barrier-free resource center for the homeless and at-risk of Dallas. The coat drive takes place on Saturday, December 6, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Bring a new or gently used coat, blanket, or sleeping bag and receive FREE admission to the Dallas Zoo that day for each item donated. The Dallas Zoo, 650 South R. L. Thornton Freeway, Dallas, 469-554-7500, www. dallaszoo.com.
Lewisville Holiday Stroll 8am-8pm. Event Timeline 8 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Lewisville Morning Rotary Club-Pancakes and Photos With Santa MCL Grand 8 a.m. Motorcycle Toy Run Maverick Harley-Davidson 10:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Santa Paws Village Old Town 2 p.m. Huffines Auto Dealerships-Lewisville Christmas Parade Main Street 3:30 p.m. Community Group performances Old Town 4 p.m. Santa Photos Old Town 5:30 p.m. “Lewisville Lights!” Old Town 8 p.m. Event ends Old Town Lewisville, Lewisville, 972-219-3401.
27th Annual Children’s Medical Center Holiday Parade 10am. Now
Flower Mound Christmas Parade of Lights & Tree Lighting Ceremony 6-9pm. New for this year, and
The Nutcracker at the Irving Arts Center Performances at 2:30pm &
marking the 25th anniversary of the Town’s Christmas Parade, the celebrations will entail a night-time parade with lighted floats parading down Spinks Road, from Shadow Ridge Middle School to Gerault Park, where a tree lighting ceremony will take place. The Parade and Tree Lighting Ceremony will start at 6 p.m. with the ceremony concluding at 9 p.m. There will be limited parking at Gerault Park so shuttles will be offered from Bakerfield Park, 1201 Duncan Ln. starting at 5:30 p.m. Parade Begins at Shadow Ridge Middle School, 2050 Aberdeen, Flower Mound, 972-874-6276.
Coppell Lighted Parade and Tree Lighting 6:30-9pm. The annual Lighted Parade and Tree Lighting Ceremony is Coppell’s official kickoff for the holidays! The parade ends at Town Center Plaza, but the fun is just beginning! Stick around the Plaza for the tree lighting ceremony, musical performances, refreshments and Santa Claus! Coppell Town Center Plaza, 255 E. Parkway Blvd., Coppell.
Camp Gingerbread 10am-4pm. The holidays are sweet at Camp Gingerbread where little ones can decorate gingerbread cookies with their favorite sugary delights, including frosting, nuts, dried fruit, candies and sprinkles. Proceeds benefit Shared Housing, a non-profit organization that facilitates affordable housing options for those in need. Cost is $10 per child. Camp Gingerbread hours: Saturday, December 6 10am – 5pm Sunday, December 7 11am – 22 | Suburban Parent | Don’t forget to tell our advertisers you saw them in Suburban Parent!
in its 27th year, the nationally syndicated Children’s Medical Center Holiday Parade is a tradition in Dallas and across the country. More than 400,000 spectators along the parade route will be dazzled by marching bands, giant helium balloons, spectacular floats and unique performances. For more information visit childrens.com/parade. Downtown Dallas, Market & Commerce Streets, Dallas, dallaschildrensparade.com.
7:30pm. Under the direction of former professional dancer Lisa Slagle, this full production features professional guest artists and Ballet Ensemble of Texas dancers, many of whom are national scholarship winners. 12/6 at 2:30 & 7:30 p.m.; 12/7 at 2:30 & 6 p.m. in Carpenter Hall. Tickets: $21-26 Irving Arts Center, 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving, 972252-2787.
Mega Pet Adoption Home 4 the Holidays Event 10am-3pm. The Arlington Animal Services Mobile Pet Adoption unit, along with other participating cities and community partners are gathering together for this Home 4 the Holidays special event to promote the adoption of homeless animals at this exciting event. Globe Life Park, Parking Lot A, 1000 Ballpark Way, Arlington.
sun 7 A Gift for Emma, A Holiday Fantasy in Dance for the Whole Family! 2pm. See ad in this issue. Krum High School Performance Center, 811 E. McCart St., Krum, 940-383-2623. www.DentonCityContemporaryBallet.org.
Caring Santa 9:30-11am. Caring Santa provides a subdued and welcoming environment for children with special needs and their families to visit Santa. The Santa Set is at Entry 2 between Rainforest Café & H&M Grapevine Mills Mall, Grapevine.
mon 8 Greater Lewisville Early Childhood PTA General Meeting 9:30-11:30am. GLECPTA is a support organization for moms of infants, toddlers, and preschoolers that offers monthly meetings (with great speakers and childcare!), playgroups, children’s outings, holiday parties, and adult activities. Trietsch Memorial UMC, 6101 Morriss Road, Flower Mound, 972-7429315, www.glecpta.org.
tue 9 The Twelve Days of Christmas
Through Jan. 4, 2015. 9am - 5pm Celebrate the holidays like never before with this centerpiece exhibit featuring an elaborate collection of life-size Victorian gazebos filled with the charming costumed characters made famous by the beloved Christmas carol. The Dallas Arboretum, 8525 Garland Road, Dallas, www.dallasarboretum.org.
wed 10 Rockin’ Readers 4-5pm. Stories, activities, and snacks for children grades K-3 only. Reservations required for groups of eight or more; call 972.874. Theme for December 10: Happy Holidays; January 14: Let It Snow; February 11: Be My Valentine; March 11: Out of This World Flower Mound Public Library, 3030 Broadmoor Lane, Flower Mound, 972-874-6167.
Symphony Sleigh Ride 7-9pm. Celebrate the music of the holidays with the Lone Star Youth Orchestra! In addition to great holiday favorites including a sing-a-long and Anderson’s Sleigh Ride, Santa will be on site to meet all guest that evening! Meeting Santa and photos are free of charge at this family-centric holiday celebration. Be sure to get your tickets to make sure you’re on the “nice” list by calling 972-252-4800. Mention that you are a reader of Suburban Parent and received 20% off the price of tickets! Irving Arts Center, 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd, Irving, 972-2524800, www.lascolinassymphony.org.
sat 13 Breakfast with Santa 8-10:30am. You and your child will enjoy a magical morning with Santa, including an incredible breakfast! Children can make a wish list, sit on Santa’s lap, and create a keepsake ornament. Please be sure to bring a camera for photos with Santa! Two sessions: 8-9am or 9:30-10:30am. Ages: Ages Up to 10 years Flower Mound CAC, 1200 Gerault Road, Flower Mound, 972-874-6281. Brookhaven College Handbell Ensemble 3pm. The ensemble, under the direction of Bonnie Riddle and
Estelle Spradling, will be ringing their 68 handbells and 68 handchimes to celebrate Christmas with some of its favorite Christmas songs. Farmers Branch Manske Library, 13613 Webb Chapel Rd., Farmers Branch, 972-247-2511.
A DSO Family Christmas 11am. The family tradition continues during the holidays with the DSO, its chorus and The Children’s Chorus of Greater Dallas. And if you’re good, Santa himself will make a special visit! Ticket prices vary, please visit website to purchase tickets. The Meyerson Symphony Center, 2301 Flora Street, Dallas, 214-TIX-4DSO www. mydso.com.
Discovery Days: Patterns in Nature 10am-4pm. Earth, water, air, fire and weather. Uncover the natural resources of our earth, create biomes, experiment with elements and discover weather patterns around the world. Families discover the fun of science together every second Saturday! Reserve your tickets early! Perot Museum of Nature and Science, 2201 N. Field St., Dallas, 214-428-5555.
sun 14 Checks and Mates: An Afternoon of Chess 2-4pm. Join fellow chess fans for an afternoon of chess games at the Flower Mound Public Library. Flower Mound Public Library, 3030 Broadmoor Lane, Flower Mound, 972-874-6165.
Gingerbread House Decorating 2-4pm. Create some holiday memories with your child by joining other families for gingerbread house decorating. Recreation staff will provide the gingerbread house and many different decorating materials. Pre-registration is required. Price is per gingerbread house. Space is limited so register early! Ages: All Ages Flower Mound CAC, 1200 Gerault Road, Flower Mound, 972-874-7275.
A Child is Born – The St. Monica Annual Christmas Concert 7pm. Come and enjoy all the wonderful sounds of the season featuring the St. Monica Church and School Choirs, Orchestra, and Handbells. Free. St. Monica Catholic Church, 9933 Midway Road, Dallas, 214358-1453, stmonicachurch.org.
Dallas Mavericks vs. Golden State Warriors 7:30pm. American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Avenue, Dallas, www.mavs.com.
with a visit of 4 hours or more!
One per family. Not to be combined with other coupons or offers. This coupon is the current coupon and is the only one which we are currently accepting. Expires 12/31/14
tue 16 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer The Musical Dec. 16-21. The original television classic comes to life! Visit website to for exact show times/ dates and to purchase tickets. The Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St., Dallas, 214-871-5000.
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the know it all wed 17 Menorah Lighting 6:30-8pm. Join NorthPark Center and Rabbi Dubrawsky from the Chabad of Dallas to celebrate Chanukah with the lighting of the menorah in the Festival of Lights. Complimentary refreshments will be served after the lights have been kindled. NorthPark Center, 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas, 214-369-1234.
fri 19 Grinch Scramble 6:30-9pm. Bring your family to Gerault Park for the Grinch Scramble flashlight candy cane hunt! Search through thousands of candy canes, keeping your eyes peeled for the Grinch-find him and you’ll win the grand prize! This is a sure hit for the whole family. There will be holiday music, crafts, and games. Don’t forget your flashlights and bags to collect your candy canes and hopefully the Grinch! Activities begin at 6:30pm with the Scramble beginning promptly at 7:30pm. Gerault Park, 1200 Gerault Road, Flower Mound.
sat 20 Holiday Family Funday – Making Crowns & Jewelry 2-4pm. Families are invited to create their own crowns inspired by those in the Peruvian Gold exhibition. All supplies provided. This event is FREE. Ticket required for entry into the Peruvian Gold exhibition. Irving Arts Center, 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving, 972-252-2787.
LCSO- Holiday with the Symphony 8pm. Las Colinas Symphony Orchestra presents Holiday with the Symphony. Irving Arts Center, Carpenter Hall, 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving, 972-2522787, www.irvingartscenter.com.
Treats of Christmas 10am-7pm. Join NorthPark Center for the ultimate holiday bake sale benefiting the North Texas Food Bank’s Cooking Matters™. Presented by the Texas Chefs Association, dozens of premier chefs from area restaurants and catering companies present an assortment of gourmet cakes, sweets, pies and cookies available for purchase. Cooking Matters™ empowers more than 15,000 families each year with the skills, knowledge and confidence to prepare healthy and affordable meals. NorthPark Center, 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas, 214-369-1234.
Dallas Mavericks vs. San Antonio Spurs 7:30pm. American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Avenue, Dallas, www. mavs.com.
sun 21 Film Screening: The Road to El Dorado 2pm. DreamWorks SKG’s 24 | Suburban Parent | Don’t forget to tell our advertisers you saw them in Suburban Parent!
2000 feature-length animated film blends comedy and drama in an unusual historical adventure. Two genial swindlers working as stable hands stow away with Cortez, the legendary Spanish conquistador, as he searches for El Dorado, the lost City of Gold. 89 minutes, rated PG. This event is free. Irving Arts Center, 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving, 972-252-2787.
Dallas Cowboys vs. Indianapolis Colts 3:25pm. AT&T Stadium, 925 N. Collins St., Arlington, 817-892-5000, www.dallascowboys.com.
mon 22 Dallas Mavericks vs. Atlanta Hawks 7:30pm. American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Avenue, Dallas, www.mavs.com.
fri 26 Holiday at the Arboretum
Dec. 1-31. 9am - 5pm Visitors can delight in the festive decorations at the DeGolyer Estate, take a stroll through the gardens to view seasonal plantings, and enjoy a variety of family-friendly activities. Thousands visit the Arboretum each winter to enjoy the sparkling interior decor of the historic DeGolyer Estate. 2014 will feature the outdoor exhibition, The 12 Days of Christmas. This exhibit will consist of a Victorian collection of three-dimensional, life-size gazebos filled with the charming characters made famous in the old carol. The Twelve Days of Christmas exhibit will be playful, but with the careful attention to design and detail that visitors have come to expect from the Dallas Arboretum. The Dallas Arboretum, 8525 Garland Road, Dallas, www. dallasarboretum.org.
Dallas Mavericks vs. Los Angeles Lakers 7:30pm. American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Ave, Dallas, www. mavs.com.
sat 27 ICE! At Gaylord Texan featuring Frosty the Snowman Through Jan 3, 2015. Everyone’s favorite snowman comes to life in more than 2 million pounds of colorful hand-carved ice sculptures. Don’t miss this nine degree winter wonderland with six ice slides. It’s all part of Lone Star Christmas. Tickets start at $21.99 (ages 13+) and 11.99 (ages 4-12). Gaylord Texan Hotel, 1501 Gaylord Trail, Grapevine, 817-778-1000. christmasatgaylordtexan.com. See ad in this issue.
Christmas Break Mother & Daughter Horse Camp Exclusively for mothers and daughters who want to spend a week having the best
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the know it all bonding experience of a lifetime. Ride your own horse for a week. Other 2 & 3 night weekend packages are available throughout the month. The Sugar and Spice Ranch Camp, 884 Rikki Drive, Bandera, 830-460-8487, www.texashorsecamps.com.
sun 28 Irving Knit & Crochet Meetup Come knit and crochet any Sunday 2-4p, Tom Thumb at MacArthur and Northgate, Irving, TX in the snack area with tables and chairs, Starbucks Coffee, and pick up a few groceries before you leave! Share your projects and expertise. Just meet others who love the art of knitting and crochet! Tom Thumb Snack Table Area, 4010 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving.
Dallas Mavericks vs. OKC Thunder 6:30pm. American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Avenue, Dallas, www. mavs.com.
tue 30 Dallas Mavericks vs. Washington Wizards 7:30pm. American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Avenue, Dallas, www.mavs.com.
wed 31 The Trains at NorthPark™ Benefiting the Ronald McDonald House of Dallas Through Jan. 4,
2015. Located on Level One between Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom. The Trains at NorthPark™, presented by Bank of is a NorthPark Center holiday tradition. The most elaborate miniature toy trains exhibit in The Trains at NorthPark™ includes trains rolling across 1,600 feet of track on a journey across America. The Trains at NorthPark™ hours: Monday-Saturday 10am–9pm, Sunday 12pm–6pm, Thanksgiving Eve
Like our page for a chance to WIN COOL STUFF!!
www.facebook.com/dfwfamilia 10am–6pm, Thanksgiving Day Closed. Christmas Eve 10am–4pm, Christmas Day Closed. New Year’s Eve 10am–4pm, New Year’s Day 12–6pm. NorthPark Center, 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas.
Farmers Branch Christmas in the Park With over 300,000 twinkling lights on trees, displays, and city structures, our Christmas in the Park is one you cannot miss! The event begins on the Friday after Thanksgiving with the Tour of Lights and stretches all the way until December 30. With the wonderful help from our local non-profits, we are able to host every night between those dates (with the exception of December 6th and Christmas Day) an opportunity to drive-through the lights. We also have a special Christmas Tree Lighting on December 6th, where you are able to countdown the official lighting of the Farmers Branch Christmas Tree and then witness another great firework show! This night also includes a visit from Santa, a snow hill for tubing, a FREE Kidzone, an opportunity to write a letter to Santa, holiday treats for everyone and much, much more! Farmers Branch Historical Park, 2540 Farmers Branch Lane, Farmers Branch, 972-247-3131.
Please note: Although we strive to bring you the most current information available regarding event dates & times, confirming with the event venue before going is always a good idea. SP
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let’s make
snow globes! Let your kids make their own snow globe! Make several scenes, one for each bedroom. Or personalize and place at individual table settings.
the F
U pagN e
What you’ll need: - Old jars with lids (Mason jars, peanut butter jars, and baby-food jars work well.) - Glue gun - Plastic Christmas figures (Check craft or hobby stores for the figures used in “under the-tree” scenes.) - White rocks, marbles, or decorative glass pieces - Water - Food coloring (optional) - White glitter and/or white confetti (Use metallic or plastic confetti, not paper.)
What you’ll do:
1 2 3
Wash and dry the jar and the lid. Glue the figures and the rocks to the inside of the jar lid using a glue gun.
The woman is at the heart of the home. Let us pray that we women realize the reason for our existence: to love and be loved and through this love become instruments of peace in the world. — Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Fill the jar with cold water to within 1/3 inch of the top. If desired, add a drop of food coloring (blue makes a nice sky effect). Add 2 tablespoons glitter and/or confett
Squeeze a line of hot glue around the inside rim of the lid and immediately seal the jar with the lid.
GOTTA LOVE ‘EM
Editor’s note: You can find clear plastic jars for your tiny tots to enjoy too. We found it at www.fun.familyeducation.com. Enjoy!
LOL with James Estes!
Source: xmasfun.com/Jokes.aspx
WHAT DO YOU CALL PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS? Claustrophobic WHAT DO SNOWMEN EAT FOR BREAKFAST? Ice Crispies WHY DO MUMMIES LIKE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH? Because of all the wrapping!
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My 3 year old granddaughter was in a habit of saying, “what the heck!” In an effort to help her make a better choice to express herself, I suggested, “How about saying ‘Oh my goodness’ instead”. The next time she felt the need to “express” herself she blurted out, “What the goodness!” SHARON GROVES, GRANDMOTHER/READER
Do you have a funny story about your child? We’d love to hear it. Send themto editor@suburbanparent.com.
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I
I can’t think of a thing
bet if researchers did a study on parents, they’d discover that collectively, most of us haven’t had one single, important, creative and/or probing thought in years. We’re practically clueless. It’s no wonder...who can think with all the noise children make - the constant questions - the running and screaming - the music blaring from every room in the house (occupied or not). This immutable clamor makes contemplative thought, let alone reading directions, composing a shopping list, and stringing two or more words together nearly impossible. (Incidentally, it’s always during a crisis in my home, like when the dishwasher floods or a letter arrives from the IRS or a tree falls on the house, that my kids really shoot for the stars and start a 16-piece saucepan orchestra in the kitchen.) Parents are complete morons, really. No longer able to think, we just stare off into space - only able to get through the day by pure animal instinct. This is why you’ll see a parent at the grocery store staring blankly at frozen orange juice while her screaming children climb in and out of the grocery cart. The mom doesn’t twitch a muscle. She can’t. She just desperately clutches her shopping list and stares at the freezer window, trying unsuccessfully to put together the thought: “do...we...need...juice?” People without children often misread these situations. They’ll push their cart past the mom and think the poor woman is dreaming of being alone on a tropical island. The rest of us, of course, know exactly what’s going on - she’s caught in a complete, helpless, dim-witted state...sort of like the juice. It’s sad what happens to parents. Door to door sales-
men witness this every day. Salesman: Good afternoon sir, do you have a home alarm system? Me: Uhhhh. Salesman: Should I take that as a no, sir? Or, does the drool mean, yes? Over time, I’ve tried to compensate - develop a few survival techniques. I’ve had success driving around lost with the children, even with mapsco. As the children are belting out song lyrics, I’ve learned to talk to myself to avoid drifting into a moronic state. I’ll say to myself: “It’s okay Ken, concentrate...watch the road....that’s right - noise is your friend...don’t forget, it’s illegal to jump out of a moving car...” I’ve also learned to steal some moments alone...just to think. For example, I’ll take a slow walk to the mailbox, hide in the shower, turn on the vacuum cleaner, or run down the street pretending to chase the cat. When I really want to get crazy, instead of drugs and alcohol, I’ll find a quiet place to feel the rush of a complete thought. I’m sure you’ve seen me at the library...giggling to myself. I suppose there is money to be made in all of this. I could rent my house out to those professionals who might benefit from the noise. I could start a trade school for people who need to learn how to filter out distractions - like bomb diffusers, safe crackers, and school bus drivers. Little good it does me in my job though. Unfortunately, I’m a writer and I need a quiet atmosphere to concentrate. When I don’t get it, I make mistakes. When I don’t get it, I make mistakes. SP
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