WHEN
YOU
ARE BEING DUMPED LISTEN TO WHAT THEY’RE SAYING. When getting broken up with, it feels like suddenly all noise disappears and you’re in a dark tunnel and have no idea what the hell is going on. Try to instead focus on exactly what they’re saying. You don’t want to walk away from the break up and have no idea why you got broken up with. This is also an opportunity for growth and learning. So before you say anything, just listen.
DON’T TRY TO CHANGE THEIR MIND.
DON’T RESORT TO NAMECALLING OR INSULTS.
tell yourself these feelings are only temporary, and try to be present.
This is not a debate. They didn’t come to you because they’re not totally sure about breaking up with you and this one conversation is going to be what decides it. Nope, they’ve already made up their mind, and there’s no point in trying to change it. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, anyway? “Because it’s all I know! Because I love them! Because I’m scared!” – I know, I know. But really, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, because that’s just sad.
There’s no point. Yes, you’re incredibly hurt, I know, but insulting them isn’t going to make this break-up any better. It might make you feel better, but that’s not going to last long. Because you’re going to think back about the break-up and cringe when you remember how you insulted their sense of style and called them a “stupid, ass-face.” Hold those back for after the break-up, when you’re talking to your friends about it.
FOR BOTH PARTIES:
LET YOURSELF GRIEVE. Hey, if you want to cry, go ahead and cry. This is your time to let it all out. Try not to hit them. But go ahead and grieve the relationship. Break-ups are not fun and no one says they have to be. If you’re feeling sad or mad, go ahead and feel sad or mad. But…
STAY IN THE PRESENT. You’re likely going to start thinking about the future, right away, thinking, “Who is going to go with me to the party on Saturday? How am I going to afford rent now that they’re moving out? What the hell am I supposed to do now?” and all that awful stuff. Keep it out of your mind. You have to stay in the present. Because if you think too far into the future with the fragile state you’re in, you’re going to have a really hard time. Take deep breaths, listen, stay in the moment,
Give each other some time and space before you even think about being friends. And don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you know in your heart that you can never “just be friends” with this person, don’t say you can. It’s not fair to either one of you. But I’ve found that with time, I’m able to be friends, or at the very least, friendly, with my exes. And I like that. But it’s up to you. You don’t have to do anything. ■ @apocalypstick Almie Rose is from LA and writes for Hello Giggles, Thought Catalog, The Frisky, The Gaggle, and Genlux magazine. Her work has appeared on Xo Jane, Jezebel, and The Awl. Her eBook titled "I Forgot To Be Famous" is available on Amazon, Apple, and Barnes and Noble. Her favorite thing to do is eat, drink, sleep, and repeat. apocalypstick.com.
AND YES, YOU’RE ALLOWED ONE FULL DAY OF SLEEPING IN, BINGE EATING, AND CRYING TO YOUR FRIENDS. THAT’S| INDIE A FREEBIE. THEINDIECHICKS.COM CHICK [107]