Destinations is an Allinclusive Social Group in the Inland Northwest Sunday Walks in Riverfront Park Tuesday Game Nights Friday Movie Nights Holiday Activities Summer Hikes Parties Camp Outs River Floats
Much more... For More Information Contact
Dean Ellerbusch 509-850-0150 Welcome@destinationsofspokane.org
Facebook Page “Destinations� of Spokane www.Destinationsofspokane.com
2 January 2013 www.ProudTimes.com
Captain’s Log Dean
Dedication Matthew Cannon
Proud and Spiritually Strong Sidney Andrews
Organizing for the Freedom to Marry Shar Lichty
Dean Ellerbusch Executive Editor
My Name Cynthia Bussell
The Bisexual Heart Joe Reilly
From the Mind of a Radical Humanist April Rose Schneider
Guns and the LGBT Community Blaine Stum
Memphis Rainne Copy Editor
A Look at Rituals Ricki Zipkin
A Closer Look at Spokane PFLAG Helen Bonser
Name: From a Family Perspective Sevan Bussell
Our Stories of Living with HIV/AIDS SAN Article
Pets are Family Too Andrew T.
Resources
Kurt Schmierer Graphics Editor
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Captain’s Log 1 January 2013
Welcome to the premiere issue of Proud Times! It is a new year and a new opportunity to make this year better than the last. Understanding this, we have created Proud Times to be a vehicle for improved communications in Spokane's Out and Proud Community. Our educational and thought-provoking articles are meant to spark conversation and create a stronger sense of community. We encourage you to voice your opinions, generate your own topics of interest, and share your lives with each other. Your input is greatly desired and encouraged. I am gratified that many local and national writers are contributing insightful articles for your edification. Their commitment to share their passion, intelligence and expertise benefits us all. I give a heartfelt “thank you” to Sidney Andrews, April Rose Schneider, Ricki Zipkin, Sevan Bussell, Cyndi Bussell, Al Lozano, Drew Parker, Joe Reilly, Shar Lichty and Blaine Stum. Your dedication to Proud Times and this community reminds me of the famous Margaret Meade quote, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.” By working together, we're providing an invaluable resource and actually doing something to improve our community! I am also indebted to our Graphics Editor Kurt Leroy Schmeirer and Copy Editor Memphis Rainne. They have dedicated many hours to assembling and polishing this first issue of Proud Times. Without their contributions, we wouldn't have such a professional publication. Kurt and Memphis have my respect and undying gratitude. I look forward to an extensive working relationship and, more importantly, our continuing friendship. While the media is littered with memes and other quick and easy soundbites, our goal is to delve deeper into issues which require closer inspection. The current level of ignorance and prejudice against those included under the umbrella terminology “LGBT Community” can be reduced. If diversity and collaboration are to be more than lip-service, it behooves us to move outside of personal comfort zones, learn about others in our community and make efforts to participate in what “they” are doing. Collectively, we can be more supportive, proactive, and take charge of our own destiny. Opening lines of communication will lead us to a more unified community and allow us to create the future we want. By facing challenges together, we can strengthen our own bonds. It is therefore important to remember, there is strength in numbers. I invite you to join me in 2013. Do more. Be better. Do better. Be more.
Dean Ellerbusch Proud Times Executive Editor
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Remembering Matthew Cannon Matthew's indomitable spirit amazed me. His ability to do more than most people do on a daily basis was impressive. I told him several times that, if I were dealing with stage 4 cancer, I'd stay home, curl up in a ball, and wouldn't want to deal with anyone. Matthew's upbeat demeanor was priceless. ~ Dean Ellerbusch Matthew was, quite literally, the sunshine of my day. He always had something positive and uplifting to say and I am a better person for having had him in my life, even if for a short period of time. Matthew, you are truly missed! ~ Memphis Rainne Your kind nature and sense of community always found me smiling and grateful to know such an amazing person! Thank you for your contribution...your footsteps will not fade in Spokane for a very long time! ~ Pearl Miles
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Proud and Spiritually Strong By Sidney Andrews Being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, trans-gender or queer are labels that have been assigned to us by the status quo who considers us to be different. Yet, we are not a label! To live as such, limits our ability to ‘reach beyond your grasp’ and exceed the limitations that ‘labels’. Paramount to living our authentic truth and best life is to believe in ourselves and be proud of whom we are: not, what the outside world would label you as being. Not only should we be proud of who we are, but proud of the fact that “we beat the sperm race!” We were meant to be here! We have a place and a purpose on this earth! The place is wherever we find ourselves in the moment; our purpose is to live our authentic truth and best life. We are not different; we are here to make a difference. When we love, accept, respect and live a life full of pride for the person we are--whether gay, straight, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgenderwe become a beacon of hope for others to follow. When e live our life purposefully and reflect pride in being who we are, we become a magnet for respect, not criticism; we draw acceptance, not rejection. We attract positive outcomes, not negative outbursts; we become a light that cannot be ignored, rather than a stranger that cannot be known. It is our call, our choice in what we choose to reflect and project from the person that is you.
The unconquerable force within is none other than the essence of who we are. We are spirit made visible. The opportunity we have for living our authentic truth and best life are endless! There is nothing more powerful than love, truth, faith and the indomitable spirit within. These are the four attributes that will carry us way beyond any rejection, judgment, assumption or condemnation heaped upon us. These are the tools that turn obstacles into stepping stones, and problems into possibilities. I speak this from experience. Thirty-nine years ago, my partner and I were awakened to a love that crept in unawares. We were both happily married and mothers to young children at the time. Unable to deny this unexpected awakening and live a lie, with much trepidation, we stepped out of the shadows into the light to reveal the truth of our discovery. It quickly became evident the backlash was going to exceed anything either of us expected and the price for living our authentic truth would be higher than we ever could have imagined. We realized, that to live a life rich in unlimited possibilities and opportunities, we had to live from the world behind our eyes. Because we were living from spirit or the essence of which we were and are, we were able to embrace our sexuality and stand proud as we dodged the slings and arrows that would claim our spirits.
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Only then, did we discover the power of love, truth, faith and that indomitable spirit within that will never fail to lead in the direction we needed to go, in order to fulfill the highest potential and live the best life. Walk tall, head held high, and be proud of all that defines you, according to you!
Sidney Andrews Sidney is also the writer of the two books shown below and can be purchased on www.amazon.com. “Journey into Thought” and “A Fall to New Heights”
Questions, comments, curiosities? Email me at: Contactme@sidney-andrews.com
Organizing for the Freedom to Marry By Shar Lichty I began my career as an organizer over three years ago as an intern at the Peace & Justice Action League of Spokane. My first experience working on a campaign began immediately, to “Approve Referendum 71”, upholding the domestic partnership law that was passed during the previous legislative session. I would like to say this was a great experience, but it was not. The campaign had little visibility in Eastern Washington. The Western Washington organizers did not get us materials until after ballots had dropped and the volunteers I recruited were only making calls to King County voters. My greatest take-away was frustration with the campaign's lack of recognition of the importance of organizing to reach voters in Eastern Washington. My experience with the “Approve Referendum 74” campaign was completely different. My work on the freedom to marry began in January, while the legislation was still debating the issue. A small group of folks gathered at my friend's home to discuss organizing a solidarity march with Vancouver Unitarian Community Church's “March for Love” (from Vancouver to Olympia) and a rally on the Capitol steps in support of marriage for all. This small group quickly morphed into a coalition
of community members organizing a march to Spokane's City Hall for a vote on a city resolution in support of marriage equality. Not surprisingly, we filled council chambers with over 300 individuals in attendance; of which, over 100 testified either for or against the resolution and we had a super-majority of support from the Council. Unfortunately, some shady political shenanigans led to a council vote to eradicate the vote on this resolution. After six hours of hearing some of the most beautiful arguments for and ugliest arguments against, we were denied our vote. The group that worked so tirelessly to organize and mobilize the larger community for this council meeting recovered from this disappointment by changing our focus to what was soon to become a challenge of the marriage equality law at the ballot with Referendum 74. The collaboration between the “Approve 74” campaign and local community leaders over the next eight months was exhausting, exhilarating and effective. We made history on November 6th, becoming the first state to defend the freedom to marry at the ballot by 53.32% to 46.68%. We were an important part of a historical night for LGBT rights and recognition nationally. None of this would have been possible without a campaign dedicated to organizing
in Eastern Washington. We had significant gains in Eastern Washington support from R71 to R74 with the three largest gains being: Garfield County, increasing by 5.89% as compared to R71; Whitman County, a 5.14% increase; and Spokane County, with a 4.17% increase. Ellis, David (personal communication, 15 November 2012). Spokane played another key role in Approving R74, with 16 Faith leaders publicly endorsing the freedom to marry. From their moving testimony at City Hall, to the “Rally for Love” in response to Presidential candidate Rick Santorum's visit to Spokane, to the three billboards showing their
Shar Lichty
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- Organizing for the Freedom to Marry support, many undecided voters were able to consider another faith perspective than the inaccurate, fear mongering ads the opposition dumped on the local airwaves. Every single message, story and conversation with voters played a crucial role in winning. The pressure continued and many of us were contacting voters on Election Day to remind them to vote. Later that evening, we came together with the community to watch the results come in. One by one, the results were affirming that we are on the right side of history. The cheers from the crowd with each result were the greatest finale to eleven months of hard work. I do not have a personal experience with the other campaigns across the country, but I am sure they won the same way we did--through organizing. As Marshall Ganz (2002) once said about the importance of organization, he states, "Organizers challenge people to act on behalf of their shared values and interest" (Kennedy School of Government). I use this framework regularly and experienced its effectiveness in motivating individuals within this campaign. Additionally, I am honored to have had the opportunity to motivate people, uphold the freedom to marry, and I am grateful for everyone who contributed with their votes, time, and passions. Together, we did make a difference!
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My Name By Cynthia Bussell
states “Cynthia is a feminine personal name of Greek origin: , Kynthía, ‘from Mount Cynthus’ on Delos island. Abv. Cyndi.” Cynthia was originally an epithet of the Greek goddess of the moon, Artemis, who was sometimes called “Cynthia” because, according to legend, the goddess was born on Mount Cynthus.
One of the few wonderful aspects about being a Tran's person is that we develop and choose our own names. Names can be decided upon for a multitude of reasons. So, I will not elaborate on the motivation of others and will only seek to provide my motivation in this matter. For example, my first name is Cynthia; which, is much to the distaste of some of my very close family. Cynthia was the name I chose at about 14 which was my greatest secret--that I even had a female identity. This name would leave my conscience for years at a time, then come back stronger each time. Through this, I found an aware mind cannot sustain living a lie. My name IS Cynthia. Cynthia was the name of one of my first girlfriends and was really the kind of chick I wanted to be at the time. Not the best choice of names I thought, but it stuck. Then, I looked up what Cynthia means and I am very pleased to find that Wiki (2012) states
From the Urban Dictionary, it states that, Cynthia's are often shy people, but once you get to know a Cynthia, they are one of the most loyal and friendly type of people you would ever be lucky enough to meet. . .” (2012). So be it. It is my name. I like it and I also like Cyndi, which worried me that I would not hear my name due to years of being conditioned to hear “Pete” as my given name. Next, my second name Patricia. I chose this name to honor my stepmother Pat. She put up with a lot of grief from my family, saw my father to his grave and became his widow. She worked hard and provided well with little recourse. I learned how to be frugal watching her as I grew up. Patricia is a strong, solid and capable woman. Additionally, the name also offers the nickname Pattie, which sounds very much like Petey-which is what I was often called early in transition. Because of this, my friends and family have an option that sounds similar to my original name which is important for me to
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to respond to well. According to Wiki (2012), “Patricia is a common female given name of Latin origin. It is derived from the Latin word patrician, meaning 'noble'.” I feel this fits me perfectly. I like that women sometimes use hyphenated names, so I chose Lee-Bussell for my last name. As a married woman I should have one, so I chose the last name of Lee as my “maiden name”. My mother's name is Leigh, but I never really liked the way her name is spelled. Thus, I chose to honor her by utilizing her last name for part of my hyphenated last name. Bringing all this in full circle, on April 9, 1865, at the house of Wilmer McLean in the village of Appomattox Courthouse, General Lee surrendered to Grant and effectively ended the American
Cynthia Bussell
- My Name civil war. General Grant allowed Lee to surrender in honor. Comparably, inside my mind has been a civil war: Peter versus Cynthia. The war within is over. There is peace over a well-scarred battlefield. As Peter is Cynthia, the war could not maintain--just as Abraham Lincoln said; “a house divided against itself cannot stand.� So, within myself, I had to surrender to myself and remember that Grant allowed Lee to surrender honorably. So, I chose Lee for these reasons. I surrendered to myself, honorably and the names I chose are noble, strong, and representative of a goddess.
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Having a Bear of a Good Time By Al Lozano
Most of us, at one time or another, have wanted to be a part of a group that has similar interests as our own. This is a way to bring people together for the common good and allow us to meet other individuals who share our views. However, how do we find friendly people in our community who embrace us as one of their own? These days, it is almost easier to find such groups via social media. However, in social media, a major drawback to “friending” someone is that one might not have the opportunity to meet in person for dinner or coffee. Social media platforms have certainly brought people together in recent years; however, some say that Facebook has peaked and is no longer growing at the rate it once was. Still though, as of October 2012, one billion users were logging on to Facebook each month according to Facebook founder and CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. Having just turned the big 5-Oh in January of 2012, I found myself without said local social group. Sure, I had plenty of online friends whom I
could call or instant message or text. But, what if I wanted to go bowling tonight with my best friend? They live over 1800 miles away. What would I do?
existed. We decided that “we shall form our own group and call it the Inland NW Bears.” This made me very excited to be able to connect with other men face to face.
Considering my own “real” image, I am a bigger guy, often referred to in the gay community as a “Bear.” The descriptor-word Bear is an umbrella term that loosely describes a man who is usually larger, sometimes has facial hair and doesn't fit any other category of LGBT men. That is me. I really needed to find a group of “Bears” to socialize with. I looked around the Inland Northwest and found organized groups for the LGBT community, but most have a specific purpose within the LGBT community. I was looking for a purely social group of men I could identify with, but who had no political or specific agenda; only to find that no such organized group existed. There certainly must be other men in my area that are looking for the same things as me, right?
In the spring of 2012, my friends and I formed our Inland NW Bears Group on Facebook. It is a social, nonpolitical group of men (not all identified as Bears) who enjoy getting together and being active in the community. Raising awareness is also one of the goals of the group. The Bear Group, as we call ourselves, held a group picnic in one of the centrally located parks in Spokane this year that was a potluck gathering with about two dozen members participating. We also helped with a carwash to raise much needed money for the LGBT Center of Spokane, held bowling events, hikes, walks, and dinners out on the town...keeping away from becoming a “bar-scene” club and focusing instead on people-centered activities.
After talking with several other Bears and Cubs, we came to the conclusion that no such group
As of this writing, we have about 90 members in the Inland NW Bears.
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- Having a Bear of a Good Time We are always hoping to increase those numbers and although one may see me reference the guys as “members”, there is no membership fee associated with being a part of the group. We recently had one man join our group who lost his longtime partner within the past two years. He was looking for a social group he could feel comfortable being a part of and after chatting online with one of the guys, he joined us for one of the breakfast and bowling events we held, making friends and felt a part of the group immediately. In 2013, we hope to expand our events to include activities such as camping, as well as summer trips to some of the many lakes in our area. It is not out of the question that the group may also expand into a softball team or other such sports-related activities. We are planning more events in 2013, but 2012 was certainly a great time hanging out with the Bears in the den.
If anyone in the Inland NW is interested in finding out more about the Inland NW Bear Group, message Al Lozano on Facebook or via email at: Althepal530@gmail.com
Photograph(s) provided by: EVIDENT2 PHOTOGRAPHY by JAY WARREN © 2012, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FACEBOOK.COM/EVIDENT2PHOTOGRAPHY
Al Lozano
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The Bisexual Heart By Joe Reilly
the LGBT communities. This made my heart very sad.
Bisexual people have a lot of options. We can lust after the mailman or make eye candy of the waitress. In fact, we may go gonzo for the mailman and crush out on the waitress if we really want to. Bisexual people are able to choose a mate without necessarily taking note of gender or sex. Those we date might be gay, bisexual, or straight. Yes, it is fabulous to have lots of choices. Unless, of course, it is your partner who has all these choices. These choices, though, aren't any easier just because there are more of them than are available to your typical straight or gay/lesbian person. We still have to decide whether and when to date. We must decide if monogamy is right for us, just like everyone considers. Dating is not easier and monogamy is not more difficult for us. It is really just the “who� part that both simplifies and complicates things. The first person I ever dated was a cute, studious young man with a daring grin that taught me I was
really uninterested in dating--I just had not had the opportunity. After we broke up, I started seeing a mousy, giggling woman who made me want to protect her. My friends were all confused and I let them be confused. I wasn't flummoxed at all. I learned what my mother said she already knew about me: that I just loved people individually. I was bisexual. It was simple. But, it was also complicated. I felt the same pressure that straight men feel to find the right woman and settle down. I dated many men and a few women. While the gay and bisexual men I saw didn't seem to care that I was bisexual, dating straight women was a challenge. I had formed an identity as a member of the LGBT communities and this made it harder to relate to straight women. Oddly, I don't think it ever really crossed my mind to seek out bisexual women for relationships. When I ultimately married a person who happens to be a straight woman, I lost at least one good gay male friend and lost touch with others in
My heart, like most any bisexual person's heart, does not want more choices with more consequences. It does not need to have simultaneous relationships with people of a variety of genders. It does not seek to enjoy heterosexual privilege at the cost of a relationship with a person of the same gender or at the cost of friendships in the LGBT community. The bisexual heart is not confused, uncommitted, really straight or really gay. In fact, the bisexual heart is committed, loving, adventurous and fragile--just like yours. It can pick and choose whether to love your gender or someone else's. It may very well love you even if you aren't lucky enough to be bisexual. It can ogle the mailman and the waitress, but remain true. If your partner is bisexual, his or her heart had all these choices and settled on you.
Joe Reilly GettingBi@gmail.com 509-847-4717
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From the Mind of a Radical Humanist By April Rose Schneider Greetings from the Far Reaches, where the men are macho and the sheep are nervous. I am April Rose--Trans author, activist, iconoclast and agent provocateur. I'm proud to be here as a contributor to the premiere issue of Proud Times, but with a caveat: I'm a fly in the ointment, a dissonant note in an otherwise beautiful chorus and a pimple on the ass of the conformist society. In other words, I am a troublemaker. If I had a rabble, I'd be quick to rouse them. So, be forewarned: I detest political correctness in all of its pervasively shallow, dogmatic, debilitating urges to qualify, quantify and otherwise restrict the full expression of our humanness. If diversity is the color of the rainbow, political correctness is the color of mud. Rather than promote a personal identity, I eschew the concept of the fixed persona, much of which is purely the result of unconscious, involuntary cultural conditioning. This sort of calculated obtuseness invariably places me at odds with so many others who walk the Trans' path where the movement from one extreme of the male-female paradigm to the 'opposite' end is de-rigueur for so many Trans folk. But for reasons unknown and in consideration of the possibility that my mom dropped me on my head as a baby, I got the whole thing backwards.
Over the course of my plus sixty years on the planet as a Trans person, my perspective has moved from polar extreme to the center. Picture that ubiquitous symbol for Yin Yang; which, to most people, represents the male/female duality. See that tiny, little, black line that separates the black and the white? That is where I live--The Abyss, The Void and the place of pure undifferentiated spirit. Thus, in search of an all-inclusive description of my perspective, I call myself a Radical Humanist. This is a label that serves two very important functions: First, it assigns me to the only group identity that describes the entirety of my existence. Secondly, it draws a distinct line between me and organized religion which I consider the enemy of human potential. One can only imagine the immense contribution of human potential lost to the historically documented, violent repression of diversity by organized religion everywhere.
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Every human being born, past and present, represents a brilliant spark of divine life. Our personalities or identity combine predetermined genetic influences with a powerful, relentless program of sociological imperatives that shape our identity and the course of our lives in a myriad of mysterious ways. This refers to a paradigm traditionally known as Nature versus Nurture. Though, more precisely, we are Nature bullied, subdued and re-formed by Nurture. The main tool of oppression is so basic, so effectively built into our social conditioning, that we rarely consider its creative power. I call this tool “agreement�.
- From the Mind of … Through our agreements to the conditions of our survival, we become, perform, behave and are rewarded for “appropriate behavior”. Here is the genesis of the virus that corrupts the human spirit. Profoundly influenced by the superficial nature of perception, consciousness is easily seduced into dualistic thinking by language which creates a false duality. Words set up a dichotomy which implies the existence of the absolute: black and white, good and bad, hot and cold and, of course, the first and foremost of these, which is...man and woman. Concepts, however, outside of this duality--like homosexuality or Transsexualism--receive far less agreement. Thus, this was an imposed dream of dualism presented me, as a young Trans person with a linguistic conundrum which could not be resolved in a social context. Without the words to describe myself, I wandered alone in a fearful, neurotic limbo. The pain of which would only be lessened with drugs and alcohol.
As a human with basic education, I know what defines male and female--the presence of specific genitalia. But, as a Trans Woman, I have no idea how to define man or woman. No absolute exists which clearly defines the two groups. Now comes my personal medicine and my power as a selfidentified Two Spirits person: having traveled from one polar extreme to the other, I now stand with one foot on yin and one on yang and peer into the void and see a vision I need to share with you. We are one spirit and one being manifesting as beautiful, diverse wildflowers in the field of life. The same beautiful sun shines down upon us all. Our bodies, our language and the distance between us may lend credence to the illusion of separation so often exploited by politics and religion, but this is the BIG LIE that perpetuates our loneliness and isolation. The truth and the path to our salvation lie in the realization that we are one race of human beings sharing one planet.
What empowers you empowers me. That which imprisons you imprisons me. That which diminishes you and what lifts you up does the same to me. The universal binding force that has the power to save all of us, is love. Without love, we die. How we love, whom we love, the clothes we wear to invite love stand incidental to what the heart requires. Love is the medicine that will heal a fractured world, so here is your prescription: love yourself completely, without judgment, without reservation and without condemnation. And, if you persist, this love will flow outward from your heart, erasing superficial boundaries and heal the fractures between us. Then, you will begin to see what I already know.
I am you.
You are me. WE ARE ONE.
April Rose Schneider
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Guns and the LGBT Community By Blaine Stum We have a problem with guns in the LGBT community; but, ours usually doesn't get broadcasted on CNN. The problem is not the tragic and horrifying mass shootings that get splashed all over the media in what seems like an alarming recurrence. It is the problem of LGBT suicide. It's sadly well known that LGBT youth and adults are 3 to 4 times more likely to attempt suicide in their lifetime than their hetero peers. It's also sadly well known that suicide is the third leading cause of death among LGBT youth. How does this relate to guns you might ask? Simply put, firearms are far and away the most used method for suicide in all age groups. Around 56% of all suicides are via firearms. As far as youth go, an estimated 45% of youth used a firearm to commit suicide. Well over a dozen US-case controlled studies have established that a gun in the home increases the risk of suicide anywhere from 2 to 10 times than a home without a gun; this risk is not just associated with the gun owner, but to the spouse and children as well. One study by the New England Journal of Medicine found that, controlling for everything from mental illness to gender and drug dependence, states with higher gun ownership had higher rates of firearm suicide and overall suicide (Hemenway & Miller, 2008). What does this all mean? Given the increased rate of suicide for LGBT individuals, it means guns are a major problem for our community, but not in the way most people would think. To be honest, our community has always had an odd relationship with gun Rights. Vocal groups like the Pink Pistols, founded in 2000 and active in
33 states with 60 chapters, advocate that people in the LGBT community arm themselves so we can fight
back against hate crimes. It's surely a good thing to want to prevent hate crimes, given that LGBT individuals are perhaps the most statistically likely group in America to be victimized in a hate crime. However, there is not a lot of evidence that owning and carrying a gun makes a person safer. In fact, several studies have shown gun owners are more likely to be fatally shot, intentionally or unintentionally, than non-gun owners. One study by the US Department of Justice (1976) even found that using a gun or other weapons, such as a knife, during a violent crime could escalate the situation and lead to more bodily harm than other responses. Surprisingly, they found that hightailing your ass away, if possible, or verbal resistance, were the most effective methods at minimizing bodily harm. All of this suggests that LGBT groups and our allies should be taking seriously the issue of gun related death and its effects on our community. What can we do? There's never a silver bullet for issues this complex; which, intertwine
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homophobia and sexism, abysmal mental health care and a culture of violence. Some necessary solutions, such as combating homophobia will take a lot of blood, sweat and tears and perhaps, most importantly, a lot of time. But that doesn't mean we cannot do anything right now. Certainly, stricter gun control laws would be a step in the right direction. Plenty of ideas ranging from stricter background checks, closing gun show loopholes, mandatory safety classes and incentives for home safety measures would at the very least make it more difficult for guns to end up in the wrong hands; Whether, that be
Blaine Stum
- Guns and the LGBT Community someone who is suicidal and in desperate need of help or a bigot looking to take his rage out on one of us. Either way, if we want to tackle the problem of suicide and gun violence in and against our community, we will need a solution to the problem of easy access to guns--a trend that's become worse thanks to the insanity of the gun rights lobby and their puppets in legislatures across the country. Anything that fails to address that will not be addressing the entire problem.
Hate, fear, hopelessness and sickness KILLS. The guns are only a tool... if we do not hate, stop the fear, give hope, and help the sick... then guns will only protect-- not kill. ...Thoughts by Kurt Schmierer
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A Look at Rituals By Ricki Zipkin
Jewish boy has a Bar Mitzvah and becomes a man. An infant is baptized. The Catholic child receives First Holy Communion and becomes the larger body of Christ. A man and woman join together in holy matrimony and start a new life together.
Wikipedia describes rituals as “a set of actions performed mainly for their symbolic value. It may be prescribed by a religion or by the traditions of a community.” Now, while I concede that rituals are chocked full of symbolism, I think this definition is simplistic and does little more than scratch the surface of its true meaning. It would seem that all societies partake in some form of ritual or rite of passage to mark a person's progress from one status to another. At the age of 13, the
For the last 20 years I have had the privilege of attending close to 300 wedding ceremonies, first as a wedding coordinator and later, presiding over the ceremonies as an ordained minister. I have witnessed the exchanging of vows. I have seen the way these loving couples have looked into each other's eyes, seen the two become one and I have beheld the miracle. I can tell you there is no difference between a man and woman or two people of the same sex exchanging vows. Love is love. When a heterosexual couple marries, they receive a binding document that is recognized by
Ricki Zipkin by the community and adds legitimacy to their union. For couples unable to receive this document, it is the ritual that binds and blesses the relationship, thus creating the marriage. It is the ritual that says, “From this day forward we shall be as one.” Attitudes have certainly changed in the last 20 years. People have become more enlightened. We have come a long way. Not far enough, but we are getting there. It is only a matter of time until every marriage is legally recognized. Until that day comes, people will fall in love, vows will be repeated, and the ritual of love will continue.
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A Closer Look at Spokane PFLAG By Helen Bonser
(Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gays)
We're here for you and everyone is welcome at PFLAG!
well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through support, education and advocacy.
From moms, dads, sisters, brothers, grandparents, friends and allies to gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender individuals, we welcome the participation and support of all who share in our vision and mission.
Spokane PFLAG was founded in January 1984 in the home of Harry and Kay Urbanek. They contacted other parents and friends to come together and meet for support and fellowship. Since the beginning, Spokane PFLAG has been a force for activism and change in the nation, our region and in our community. Spokane PFLAG started the Gay Pride March, the Spokane Leadership Coalition, and many other groups. We lobbied at the state and federal level, maintained a Speakers Bureau, conducted monthly meetings and sponsored a Helpline. Focus has always been
We celebrate diversity and envision a society that embraces everyone, including those of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities. Only with respect, dignity and equality for all will we reach our full potential as human beings, individually and collectively. PFLAG promotes the health and
on the family and has fostered support, education and activism. Please join us every third Tuesday of the month from 7pm to 8:30pm at 2607 S. Ray St. (Bethany Presbyterian Church) on Spokane's South Hill. You can also visit our website at SpokanePFLAG.org or our Spokane PFLAG Facebook Page. If you have questions for us, you can call 509/593-0191, write to P.O. Box 10292, Spokane WA 99209, or send an Email to Support@SpokanePFLAG.org
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Name: From a Family Perspective By Sevan Bussell
I do not remember specifically how it came about, but Cynthia came out to me as Transgender prior to us even starting to date. She did however insist that she had “put all that behind her and had no need to transition.” (As I've become part of the trans* community, I've learned that this type of talk is not at all uncommon.) Over the years it became obvious that this just was not the truth. I started to prepare myself for what I saw as the inevitable transition of my mate. The transition was more about “when” and not “if” it were going to occur. I expected it around the early 50's, though she ended up starting in her early 40's. Cynthia came to me in September 2010 very upset. With tears streaming down her face, we talked about what was wrong. It was the “gender issues” again. The next morning the feelings and internal incongruence hadn't disappeared or lessened, as it might normally. I asked her, “Do you need to transition?” Bottom lip trembling, she responded, “Yes.” We started looking into the process and the first thing that came to my mind was, “Well, now what do I call you?” To use her masculine name felt un-accepting to me. Calling her “he/him” seemed like a lie and became increasingly uncomfortable. So, we sat down and discussed it. She'd already picked out a name, but was not solid on it at that point. I tried to help her by bringing names to her that I thought she might like. She
shot them all down. She later made it clear she really didn't desire any help and she had made her choice: Cynthia Patricia Lee. When she told me that she didn't desire help in choosing a name, I felt nearly panicked. We had almost always done everything together. Truth be told, I didn't like the name Cynthia. It just didn't feel right to me. I think the choosing of your own name is rather unnatural. We get our birth name from our parents and any nickname we might have is normally bestowed upon us by friends or peers. Naming yourself is just a rare thing. I now understand that this is one of the few gifts and benefits that a trans* person has. They get to choose just who they want to be. There is power in that! When thinking back and feeling left out in the name-picking process, I believe it hindered my ability to use my mate's chosen name. The first person to use it in our inner circle was actually Cynthia's brother. I felt so terrible that I was struggling with something so small as a name. What is a name anyway? My mate is the same person regardless what we call her. I just felt so stuck with it though. We've had many discussions on the topic of names and now, as I look over the meaning, it really is a perfect fit! I have since been able to accept it, use it regularly and it has become a welcomed second nature.
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Even though I understand the need to create a name, other trans* individuals who have mates or children, I feel, should be allowed to be part of the naming process. Invite them into this process. Even if they cannot offer a fitting name, if a consensus can be reached, it will be far easier for all involved.
Sevan Bussell
The HIV/AIDS Speaker’s Bureau Our Stories of Living with HIV/AIDS: Help End Stigma, Increase HIV Awareness and Change Lives
Let's face it; most of us would rather have a wisdom tooth pulled than speak in front of a group of strangers about anything, let alone sharing your HIV status and your personal experience about the disease. The HIV/AIDS Speaker’s Bureau (HASB) began in mid-1990 with one principle in mind: Promote the idea that those living with HIV/AIDS need understanding and compassion rather than judgment, and that no one deserves this disease. HASB completed their latest Speaker Training in September, teaching new speakers how to create and present their personal stories that move their audience and fulfill each speaker's personal need for growth. As the new college school season begins, HASB prepares for increasing requests for speakers at schools throughout Eastern Washington. Speaker requests peak in April each year. Schools that teach Sex Education to their students appreciate the impact that a personal speaker living with HIV can bring to educating students. New speakers are partnered with more experienced speakers who attend speaking engagements with them. Speakers are paid for presentations to reimburse for transportation costs and time.
HASB became a non-profit organization in 2006. They are currently working on a DVD project funded by a grant from The Pride Foundation that can be used by speakers for presentations and other purposes. HASB receives grant funding from Empire Health Foundation to support speaker costs. HASB welcomes new speakers. Call Thalia at 509/280-7510
w w w . s a n - n w. o r g Revised and reprinted with permission.
Garrett, Mark (Summer 2012). The HIV/AIDS Speaker’s Bureau: Our Stories of Living with HIV/AIDS Help End Stigma, Increase HIV Awareness and Change Lives. Well Informed, Issue 04, pg 2.
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Pets are People Too By Andrew T.
The Joy of Owning and Loving a Pet Life constitutes so many ups and downs that it can be comforting to have someone in our lives to always be there for us. In my own life, I have to say that some of the best companionship, caring and love has been from my pets. Initially, let us talk about how a pet can be a benefit. Such assistance includes the aid in emotional issues for the owner. For example, my dog “Sara� that passed away this Memorial Day was such a great joy in my life. Most days, she was never home alone; there was always someone there with her. But, no matter what, when I came home from work--the moment she heard my car pull into the driveway--she would run and meet me at the door with her fluffy white tail wagging--always very happy to see me. No matter how bad of a day I had, my emotions lightened and mood lifted with her, my pet, so happy to see me. What her happiness did for me emotionally, I also benefitted from medically.
As pets go, cats are a great emotional companion for people. They can also be a terror for furniture if you don't provide a proper scratching post. When lying back on the couch and watching TV, a cat will gladly cuddle up on your shoulder or chest and the gentle purring is so relaxing that falling asleep is easy. When considering the benefits of being a pet owner, it is excellent
Medically, emotional benefits lead to lower stress and blood pressure, which results in longevity of life. Another positive is that a dog needs to be walked on a regular basis; it has been shown in varied studies that dog owners are less likely to be obese when they are responsible for taking care of a pet or companion animal.
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to consider that pets give a person a routine and someone else that will need care besides oneself. Additionally, one should keep in mind that some pets thrive better in different living conditions than your home might possess. Reading about the type and breed of pet that you dream about at night as you slumber off to sleep is advised. Many popular breeds (such as Huskies) are not inside nor apartment-type dogs, despite their popularity in such environments.
- Pets are People Too When considering the deep love we can have for pets and the great advantages they provide for us, we will end each article by telling a story about a pet that has brought someone great joy in their lives from reader submissions. Allow me to go first: My lovely dog Sara, which I mentioned earlier in the article, was a white German Shepherd. I adopted her from the pound and I could not have asked for a better dog. She wasn't much of the active type of dog, finding much more happiness lying down in the sun being petted. Her best version of fetch was running the other way when I would throw something for her to catch. She also loved me so much that she would rarely leave my side.
Andrew T.
The author, Andrew, requests if you would like to share a story about your pet, please send the story to, Submit@ProudTimes.com with Attention: Andrew/Pet Story on the Subject line.
Since she is now gone from us, I will miss her deeply and always think of her fondly. I count myself lucky to have had her bless me with her love and make a difference in my life.
He would like to publish a reader's story at the end of each article.
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Resources Organizations Imperial Sovereign Court of Spokane (ISCS) PO Box 65 Spokane WA 99210-0065 Website Facebook Page iscs@icehouse.net The ISCS is arguably the oldest organization of its kind in the Spokane Metropolitan Area, providing for support and concern of issues of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning communities of Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho. A variety of shows, Drag Shows, Fundraisers, Outings, Camping Trips, Raffles and Auctions are used to promote this unity. Our goal is to seek out the needs and provide for those needs as humanely, efficiently and as readily as possible. We are registered in the State of Washington as a Non Profit Business Entity and have a Board of Directors in place, regulated by Articles of Incorporation and ByLaws as required. We refuse to discriminate on any basis and work toward our goal of providing services for as wide of a range of needs as we are able. To do this, we use funds set aside in special accounts, all raised voluntarily by our community, and all funds are issued as needed.
Inland Northwest Business Association (INBA) 9 S. Washington, Ste. 618 Spokane WA 99201 509/455-3699 Website inba@inbaspokane.org Interesting speakers every month. Great opportunity to network with other business people in the area. Meet new people in town and have fun. Bring a friend. The location of the event is rotating every two months. Please check the web site for this month's location.
Inland Oasis PO Box 8205 Moscow ID 83843 Friendship Hall, 1912 Building 412 East 3rd Street Moscow ID 83843 208/352-0456 Website Facebook Page info@inlandoasis.org Inland Oasis is a completely volunteer based organization serving the needs of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer community of the Palouse currently focus on Palouse Pride, HIV Testing & Counseling, and Programs for Youth under 21 years old.
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Organizations Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Center (LGBT Center) 1522 N. Washington St., Ste. 102 Spokane WA 99201 509/489-1914 Website Facebook Page Local community resource center. Our Mission is to build a vibrant LGBTQ community through collaborative programs promoting education, advocacy and wellness.
OutSpokane PO Box 883 Spokane WA 99201-0883 509/720-7609 Website Facebook Page admin@outspokane.com OutSpokane meetings are held every 1st and 3rd Tuesday at The LGBT Center (1522 N. Washington St., #102 from 7:15-9pm. OutSpokane™ a 501(c)(3) tax exempt volunteer organization, exists to fund, host and coordinate Spokane’s Pride Parade and Rainbow Festival, the largest celebration in Eastern Washington in support of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer or Questioning people. Our family-oriented activities provide many educational opportunities and experiences that advance visibility, advocacy and empowerment of our diverse community of GLBTQ people, their families, friends and allies in the Inland Northwest, Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho.
Pride Foundation 827 W 1st Ave., # 416 Spokane WA 99201 509/327-8377 F: 509/327-8403 Website Facebook Page InlandNW@pridefoundation.org Inland Northwest Steering Committee for Pride Foundation meets monthly at a rotating location. For more information about Pride Foundation or about joining the Steering Committee please contact Farand Gunnels at 509/481-0402.
Spokane PFLAG PO Box 10292 Spokane WA 99209 509/593-0191 Website Facebook Page Membership meetings are on the third Tuesday of each month at 7:00pm at Bethany Presbyterian Church (2607 S. Ray St., Spokane WA 99223). All are welcome.
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PFLAG continued Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays promotes the health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, the end discrimination and secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.
College Groups Central Washington University Diversity Education Center SURC Room 253 400 E. University Way Ellensburg WA 98926 509/963-1685 Website dec@cwu.edu Committed to creating an atmosphere on campus of acceptance, equality and inclusion for all persons regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
EWU Pride Center 105 Showalter Hall Cheney WA 99004 509/359-7870 Website Facebook Page pride@ewu.edu We are here to support the needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning and ally students, faculty and staff at Eastern Washington University.
Gonzaga University GLBT Resource Center Unity Multicultural Education Center 709 E. Desmet Spokane WA 99258 509/313-5847 Website lgbt@gonzaga.edu The LGBT Resource Center at Gonzaga University is inspired and guided by the university mission and values of faith, service, justice, leadership, and ethics. It aims to serve as a center for supporting community, networking, research, and education related to concerns shared by students, staff, and faculty of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions.
Gonzaga University HERO Unity House 709 E. Desmet Spokane WA 99258 hero@zagmail.gonzaga.edu
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Gonzaga University School of Law - OutLaws Website Facebook Page mpaladin@lawschool.gonzaga.edu The GSA-Outlaws is devoted to promoting an inclusive law school community for LGBT students, faculty, and staff, as well as their allies. The organization fulfills this mission through many social, academic, and professional events that create campus dialogue on LGBT civil rights and legal advocacy.
North Idaho College Gay/Straight Alliance Facebook Page theshort1@live.com Our mission is to promote a positive and supportive environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, questioning and straight people as well as those who support them.
Spokane Community College - ST:GLOBAL QSA Facebook Page globalstqsa@gmail.com Commonly referred to as Global, stands for Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual Action League, Straight and Transgendered: Queer-Straight Alliance. Global's purpose is to promote awareness and provide resources and a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, questioning, ally, transgender, transsexual, asexual, intersex, and non-heteronormative identified people.
Spokane Falls Community College - The Alliance Barbara Williamson - Advisor 509-533-4507 Website Facebook Page GLBT and allies group to provide a safe space and to educate our community.
University Of Idaho Gay-Straight Alliance ASUI Office - Idaho Commons, Room 302 Moscow ID 83844 Facebook Page alliance@uidaho.edu Social support group for students.
University Of Idaho LGBTQA Office PO Box 441064 Moscow ID 83844 UI Women's Center - Memorial Gym, #109 Moscow ID 83844-1064 208/885-6616 wcenter@uidaho.edu
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Washington State University Women's Resource Center Wilson Hall, Room 8 PO Box 644005 Pullman WA 99164-4005 509/335-6849 Website The Center works to promote a safe and supportive climate that enables women to engage as full and active participants within the university system. The Center helps transform the educational environment into a more inclusive and progressive institution by assisting, supporting, and mentoring women at Washington State University.
Washington State University GLBTA PO Box 647204 - CUB401 Pullman WA 99164 509/335-4311 Website glbta.aswsu@wsu.edu The mission of the Gender Identity/Expression and Sexual Orientation Resource Center is to support education and advocacy for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and straight-allied students, staff, and faculty, as well as alumni/ae and members of the Palouse community.
Washington State University Gender Identity Expression And Sexual Orientation Resource Center PO Box 647204 Pullman WA 99163-7204 509/335-6388 hstanton@wsu.edu Support and resources for the GLBT WSU community.
Open & Affirming Congregations Rainbow Cathedral Metropolitan Community Church 225 N. 2nd St. Yakima WA (Between Martin Luther King Blvd and Lincoln Ave) Pastor: Rev. Jane Emma Newall 509/457-6454 Website therevjane@juno.com Celebrating God's Expansive Love in the Yakima Valley 6:30 PM Sundays
River of Life Metropolitan Community Church 2625 W. Bruneau Pl. Kennewick WA 99336 509/628-4047
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Seventh-day Adventist Kinship Website
Unitarian Universalist Church 4340 W. Fort Wright Dr. Spokane WA 99224 509/325-6383 Website Facebook Page admin-asst@uuspokane.org We join together to create an inspiring and nourishing liberal religious home. In the wider world, we champion justice, diversity, and environmental stewardship.
Unity Church 2900 S. Bernard St. Spokane WA 99203 509/838-6518 Website Facebook Page terri@unityspokane.org We are a community of love and acceptance dedicated to spiritual discovery.
Westminster Congregation United Church 411 S. Washington St. Spokane WA 99204 509/624-1366 Facebook Page Founded in 1879, Westminster celebrates over 125 years of dedicated service to God and the people of Spokane.
Social and Support Groups Bi-Social in Spokane Facebook Page GettingBi@gmail.com A social group of varied ages and interests gathered to chat, play, and plan.
Book Group - GLBT Meeting at The LGBT Center 1522 N. Washington St., #102 Spokane WA 99201 Website Meets the first Tuesday of the month at 7 p.m. and reads mostly fiction, with some memoirs and other nonfiction selections.
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Destinations 509/850-0150 Website Facebook Page Secretary@DestinationsOfSpokane.org Destinations is an all-inclusive social group in the Inland Northwest encouraging interaction, mutual understanding and friendship between all sexual orientations and gender identities. We provide social settings and activities for people from diverse points of view to network, form bonds and create alliances.
Equality Spokane 509/723-2498 Facebook Page info@equalityspokane.org Equality Spokane's mission is to help motivate, inspire, encourage and bring Spokane's lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people along with their families and friends together.
We will gladly add or edit your organization's information in our Resource List. Please visit our website and submit your entry via the contact form provided. Alternately, you can submit your entry via Email: Submit@ProudTimes.com
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