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DCMilitary Family Life - Advertising Supplement
December 2014
When your loved one can’t be home for the holidays BY LORI TUPPER
Home for the holidays takes on a new meaning when you’re a military spouse. The lucky ones are those who never have to explain to their children why mommy or daddy won’t be home, no matter how many times they write to Santa. They never have to hope the Internet connection holds up long enough for opening gifts and exchanging I love yous during a shoddy Skype or FaceTime session. I’ve been there way more times than I’d like to admit. But with a little preparation we can avoid those holiday blues. When my husband is not spending a holiday with us, these are four strategies I use to get through it. Allow yourself to feel. I give myself 24 to 48 hours to grieve, to be sad, depressed, upset, throw a 3-yearold-style tantrum. I allow myself that time to get it out because, well, we’re human. We feel. We need to feel. We need to hurt and grieve and be sad
that our significant other isn’t there. The person we love, a crucial part of our family unit, won’t be able to share in a festive holiday season where many family memories are made, and that is just sad. It’s difficult to even write that without getting emotional. It really feels awful. Laughter is the best medicine. After I go through that initial period of sadness, I begin to get my groove back like Stella. I laugh, I enjoy life, and I get happy. No, not as happy as I’d be with my spouse home, but I do begin to enjoy the little things again. I bask in the love of my children, and the thoughtful emails and letters of love that I receive from my spouse. His strength during our time apart carries me and helps me stay strong for our family. The strength of our children also moves me to be my best self while my husband is away. I remember writing about that before and it’s true. Military children are the strongest chil-
Maxine Minar, President | John Rives, Publisher Comprint Military Publications | 301-921-2800
Circulation of 110,000 printed by offset as a civilian enterprise quarterly magazine for installations within the National Capital Region by Comprint Military Publications, a division Post Community Media, LLC. Comprint Military Publications is located at 9030 Comprint Court, Gaithersburg, MD 20877. Telephone 301-921-2800. Editorial content, including graphic art and photographs that support messages, new stories, and feature articles, are prepared in the Marketing Offices of the installations that contribute the information and blogs from
DCMilitaryFamLife.com. Letters and suggestions may be mailed to DCMilitary Family Life Publisher, Comprint Military Publications, 9030 Comprint Court, Gaithersburg, MD 20877. The printer is a private firm in no way connected with the Department of Defense. Opinions expressed herein are those of the contributors to this Marketing publication, and they are not to be considered an official expression of the Department of Defense. The appearance of advertisements in this publication does not constitute an endorsement by the Department of Defense of the products or services advertised.
ON THE COVER: iStock.com/DanielBendjy
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Making the Holidays Special
Last-minute ideas to brighten the season for military personnel BY KAREN FINUCAN CLARKSON
With the holiday season upon us, opportunities to support service members and their families, both locally and abroad, remain. Many programs are near completion, but there are some whose deadlines are pending. “There always are last-minute requests for assistance that we need help meeting,” said Michelle Shortencarrier, communications manager for USO of Metropolitan Washington-Baltimore. So, for those who wish to contribute their time, talent or treasure this holiday season, it’s not too late. After nearly two decades, Debra Arnett still remembers the note and pin her daughter received from a female officer, grateful for the letter of support sent by the elementary school student. That’s, in part, why Del Ray Variety, a store Arnett co-owns, serves as a dropoff location for holiday cards and letters of support for deployed military personnel. Located in Alexandria, Va., Del Ray Variety is a member of the A Million Thanks network, which has distributed nearly 6.8 million cards, notes and letters to the troops over the past decade. “It’s really special when people come by and drop off cards. They’ll often share stories and show me the cards, many of which are truly touching,” said Arnett. “We’ve had a good amount of participation but we can handle more.” Because it can take several weeks for a message to find its way into the hands of a soldier, sailor, airman or marine, cards created now should take a broader view of the holidays, perhaps focusing on the New Year. A Million Thanks recommends that messages be positive, creative, kind and uplifting, and that they not be put in individual envelopes, include edible items or contain glitter or confetti. Time is of the essence for those wishing to take part in the Holiday Mail for Heroes program, administered by the American Red Cross of the National Capital Region. The program has been updated this year in response to service members who, during their stay at Walter Reed and Fort Belvoir, were unable to purchase holiday cards to send to their families across the country. The Red Cross asks that donors create individual packets—each containing three blank holiday cards, three blank envelopes with postage stamps and a personalized message to the service member—bundled with ribbon. Bundles, which can be created by individuals, groups or businesses, must be dropped at the regional office in Fairfax no later than Dec. 14. For those who miss the deadline but would like to participate in the future, the American Red Cross of the National Capital Region is running a similar program for Mother’s Day, with a drop-off deadline of April 3, 2015. Sewn or knitted items are especially welcome now,
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How to Help Make the Holidays Bright The following groups still have opportunities for those who wish to support military personnel and their families during the holiday season. A Million Thanks
Holiday cards can be dropped off at: Del Ray Variety (delrayvariety.com) 203 E. Custis Ave., Alexandria 22301 703-683-2418 amillionthanks.org American Red Cross in the National Capital Region
Holiday card bundles can be dropped off through Dec. 14 at: 8550 Arlington Blvd., Fairfax 22031 703-584-8400 redcross.org/dc/washington Maryland Food Bank
Online food purchases can be made at the food bank’s website, fooddrive.mdfoodbank.org/drive/maryland-food-bank 410-737-8282 mdfoodbank.org Operation Homefront
operationhomefront.net 703-421-9033 Soldiers’ Angels
PHOTO COURTESY OF OPERATION HOMEFRONT
Operation Homefront provides food assistance to families through gift cards. Groups can request a Giving Quilt, like the one shown here, to hang in a common area to collect gift cards.
but they are accepted throughout the year, by Soldiers’ Angels. “We’re in need of blankets for use at Walter Reed, and the V.A. medical centers in D.C. and Richmond, as well as for distribution to those deployed in Africa,” said Jacqueline Stein, the organization’s D.C.-Metro service area manager. Soldiers’ Angels provides instructions for many handmade products, including the popular no-sew fleece blankets—an easy and fun individual or group project. Those who haven’t completed their holiday shopping and plan to order online should consider purchasing through Amazon.com (see sidebar for the full Web link). A small amount, 0.5 percent, of the purchase price will be donated to the nonprofit group. Soldiers’ Angels also has partnered with Harry & David retail locations, through Christmas Eve, to provide Moose Munch Bars to troops. Each bar is packaged with a note—and a plastic spoon because the bars often travel through intense desert heat and arrive melted, though still rich and delicious—and dispersed to bases in war zones, as well as to military families DCMilitary Family Life - Advertising Supplement
No-sew blankets—soldiersangels.org/sewing-and-craftingteam.html Amazon.com purchase program—smile.amazon.com/ch/200583415 Moose Munch Bars through Harry & David retail stores— harryanddavid.com/h/view/moose-munch-for-troops 210-629-0200 soldiersangels.org USO of Metropolitan Washington-Baltimore
Get Involved—us.uso.org/WashingtonBaltimore/Get-Involved Ticketline—us.uso.org/WashingtonBaltimore/TicketlineMilitary-Families us.uso.org/WashingtonBaltimore
locally. Harry & David holiday stores or kiosks can be found in Virginia at Fair Oaks Mall in Fairfax, Tysons Corner Center in McLean and Dulles Town Center in Sterling, as well as Tanger Outlets at National Harbor in Maryland. The Maryland Food Bank is planning a holiday food donation Dec. 22 to support families at Naval Support Facility Indian Head, according to Barbara Locke, the USO center coordinator at the installation.Those wishing to contribute can purchase items online through the food bank’s website, mdfoodbank.org. The group also accepts financial contributions and donations of canned and dry foods. See SPECIAL continued on page 7
December 2014
MCCS Quantico
Christmas Tree Lighting Festival Sunday, Dec. 7, 4–6 p.m., Lejeune Hall, Quantico. Join us for the much-anticipated yearly lighting of the MCB Quantico Christmas tree. Food, activities for children, Santa and the grand finale of lighting the Christmas tree. Bring a new unwrapped gift for Toys for Tots. For more information, call 703-7845803 or visit www.quantico.usmcmccs.org. Breakfast with Santa Saturday, Dec. 20. Two seatings to accommodate everyone, 8–9:30 a.m. or 10–11:30 a.m. The Clubs at Quantico & Crossroads Events Center, 3017 Russell Road, Quantico. Enjoy visiting with Santa as you dine on a delicious hot breakfast. $10, ages 12 and older; $5, ages 2–11; free, children younger than 2. Tickets available at MCX Rec/ITT 703-4328850. Admission includes one photo with Santa per family. Space is limited, no tickets will be sold at the door. Christmas Dinner at SMP Thursday, Dec. 25, 4–9 p.m., Single Marine House (SMP), building 206, Quantico. Join SMP for a traditional Christmas dinner. To-go plates are available for those on duty. For more information, please contact 703-4320363. 2015 Countdown for Kids Wednesday, Dec. 31, 3-5 p.m., Quantico Bowling Center, Little Hall, 2034 Barnett Ave., lower level. Bring the kids out to celebrate the arrival of the New Year. $40 per lane; price includes shoes, games, party favors, regular size soda per person bowling and one large pizza per lane. December 2014
Space is limited; prepay to reserve your lane by calling 703-784-2210.
F FALLS ALLS CHURCH CHURCH CHU RCH
New Year’s Eve Celebration Wednesday, Dec. 31, 8 p.m.–1 a.m. The Clubs at Quantico & Crossroads Events Center, 3017 Russell Road, Quantico. DJ, hors d’oeuvres, dancing, champagne toast and more. Dinner and party packages available. Tickets on sale at Rec/ITT in the MCX, 703-432-8850. For more information about the event, call 703-7844264.
SERVICE SERVICE SPECIALS
MCCS Quantico Stay in the Know Want to know about all the events aboard MCB Quantico? Then sign up to receive the Quantico MCCS Life Magazine by email monthly. Simply send an email to mccsmarketing@ usmc-mccs.org, or call us at 703-7845803. You can also like us on Facebook at facebook.com/QuanticoMCCS, follow us on Twitter @MCCSQuantico and Pinterest at www.pinterest.com/ mccsquantico.
ANY ONE SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE OR ANY ONE REPAIR
Quantico MCCS Phone Numbers l MCX: 703-432-8800 l REC ITT: 703-432-8850 l Marine Mart: 703-784-2712 l Golf Course: 703-784-2424 l Package Store: 703-432-8151 l Bowling Center: 703-784-2210 l The Clubs at Quantico: 703-784-4264 l Catering: 703-432-0219 l Auto Hobby: 703-784-2729 l Marina: 703-784-2359 l Barber Physical Activity Center: 703432-0590 l Theater: 703-784-2279 (movie hotline 703-784-2638) l Child Development Center: 703784-2716/4470/3652 l Youth/Teen Center: 703-784-2249 l Quantico Family Library: 703-784-4348 l The Crossroads Inn: 703-630-4444 l Human Resources: 703-784-3454
15% 1 5% OFF
OFFER VALID FOR 15% OFF ANY ONE SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE OR ANY ONE REPAIR NOT TO EXCEED $150.00. COUPON APPLIES TO ALL ACURA OR HONDA VEHICLES.
Coupon must be presented to service consultant at time of write-up. Valid up-to a max of: $150 in value. Coupons may not be used in conjunction with other advertised specials. Taxes and shop supplies not included. Dealership is not responsible for any typographical errors. Coupon can not be utilized for repairs previously performed. Cannot be applied towards tires or bodywork. Offer can only be applied once every 90 days. Valid thru 1/31/2015
$
99 9 9
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4 WHEEL ALIGNMENT AND TIRE BALANCE SPECIAL SET CASTER, CAMBER TO TOE TO FACTORY SPECIFICATIONS AND BALANCE 4 TIRES. Coupon must be presented to service consultant at time of write-up. Coupons may not be used in conjunction with other advertised specials. Taxes and shop supplies not included. Dealership is not responsible for any typographical errors. Coupon can not be utilized for repairs previously performed. Expires 1/31/15.
WE W E WORK ON ACURAS ACURAS A AND ND HON HONDAS DAS RADLEY
FALLS CHURCH FALLS CHURCH CHU RCH
5823 Columbia Pike, Falls Church, VA 22041
703-824-5780 703-824-5780
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Saturday Child Care Enjoy your holiday shopping without the children. Special holiday child care will be available Saturday, Dec. 13, 10 a.m.–4 p.m., at the CDC South. Child care is available hourly for infants through school-age children currently enrolled in a Child Youth & Teen Program. Cost: $6 per hour. To enroll or make reservations, call 703-784-3652.
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For many, the holiday season is not so holly, jolly… … But there is help if you are experiencing stress and sadness BY ALICE SWAN
The carols and commercials ringing over the airwaves may be telling us it’s the “hap-happiest season of all,” but for many people, the holidays bring feelings of sadness and loneliness. Service members and their families are no strangers to these seasonal blues. They’ve often spent too many holidays feeling the sting of deployment separations while trying to keep smiling through December and into the New Year. Distance, travel costs or an empty leave balance have kept them from visiting extended family, increasing that sense of aloneness. While the season can bring up cherished memories of a lost loved one, it can also cause fresh grief. For those dealing with post-traumatic stress, the hustle and bustle of the holidays can often trigger anxiety. All of these emotions are natural and are understandable, according to the experts at Real Warriors Campaign, a Department of Defense initiative encouraging help-seeking behaviors for service members, veterans and their loved ones struggling with the invisible wounds of war. They suggest following these simple strategies to help you stay resilient through the emotional roller coaster of the season. Make time to connect with family and friends. Schedule time with the people close to you.Talking about what’s on your mind could help ease some of the stress you’re experiencing. Be strategic about who you spend time with, and don’t be afraid to decline invitations for activities that might make you uncomfortable. If you aren’t able to be with your family during the holidays, set up regular online video chat sessions to help shorten the distance between you. Mentally prepare for the season. Retired Army Maj. Ed Pulido, a Real Warriors spokesman, has personal experience dealing with the challenges of the holiday season while healing from post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.
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“For me, it’s helpful to keep a balance between socializing and down time with my family,” he said. “By knowing my triggers I’m able to avoid stressful situations and better cope when they do arise. Mentally preparing for different types of situations with my family is also helpful. For example, we’ve talked through different scenarios that could
trigger a stress reaction and thought about how we’d cope with each so that we know what to do if any of us do feel stress.” Give yourself the gift of physical and mental health. Three simple words can make all the difference when dealing with difficult situations: Eat, sleep, move. These are the key ingredi-
DCMilitary Family Life - Advertising Supplement
ents for personal well-being in the Army Health Command’s Performance Triad. Focusing on a healthy diet, meaningful rest and rejuvenating exercise helps you maintain physical and mental resilience to overcome any challenge or stressor you might face. Here’s how to put the words to work in your life for a healthier holiday season: • Eat nutritious, well-balanced meals. Avoid snacks that only provide empty calories, and choose foods with proteins, healthy fats and complex carbohydrates to increase your energy and concentration. Eat breakfast, drink plenty of water, and try limiting yourself to just one holiday cookie a day to avoid those extra sugar calories. • Sleep at least seven hours a night. A lack of sleep can cause memory and concentration issues, medical professionals warn, as well as physical side effects. Your body needs this time to help your brain function at its peak. Establish a regular time for hitting the sack, keep your bedroom dark, and leave your electronic devices in the living room. • Move—every day. Exercising even 30 minutes a few days a week can help reduce the risk of chronic diseases and reduce feelings of stress. Bundle up and get the family involved by taking walks together or playing outdoor games. Taking a yoga class could be a good way to develop breathing and relaxation skills to carry you through the busy season. Overcome isolation. In a time of constant parties, when shopping malls are full of people and as you see ads for holiday events, how is it possible to feel alone and sad? It is easy to have those feelings if you’ve already been under stress or are in a new location far from familiar holiday experiences. Maybe you believe no one can understand what you are going through. Col. Christopher Robinson, senior executive director of psychological health at the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury, said See HAPPY continued on page 7
December 2014
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that this is the perfect time to reach out to others. Don’t spend all of your free time in the barracks, or at home playing video games or watching movies. Talk to the people around you, and get to know people in your unit or neighborhood. If you are deployed, keep in touch with family and friends back home. Being connected to others is important for well-being, Robinson said. It may help to make plans to socialize with friends and family in comfortable places, and to stick with the plans, Robinson said. “The Internet is a valuable way for service members to stay connected to a prior unit, but don’t let online interactions replace socializing with new co-workers, friends and family,” said Robinson. Look for opportunities offered by your local MWR, BOSS or Family Programs office to get out of your routine and take part in holiday events around your installation. Consider volunteering with the USO, Salvation Army or at a Veterans Affairs hospital to give you a new perspective on the other meaning of the holiday season. Use holiday downtime as a chance to try a new activity, or re-connect with a hobby or sport you used to enjoy as a way to relax or decompress. Following these tips may help you conquer those holiday blues. But if these suggestions aren’t relieving your feelings of depression or sadness, don’t delay seeking help, said Capt. Wanda Finch, division chief for the Psychological Health Advocacy Division at Deployment Health Clinical Center. SPECIAL continued from page 4
Operation Homefront also provides food assistance to families but uses gift cards, a “quick and easy” way to provide assistance in an emergency, said Cyndi M. Lucas, the nonprofit group’s mid-Atlantic community outreach leader. Companies, civic groups and religious congregations can request a Giving Quilt to hang in a common area to collect gift cards. The gift cards support families of wounded and deployed military personnel below the E-6 level. Operation Homefront favors cards in any denomination from Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Giant December 2014
DIGITAL VISION/THINKSTOCK
Being connected to others is important for well-being during the holiday season. It may help to make plans to socialize with friends and family in comfortable places, and to stick with the plans. She urged individuals to seek help if symptoms persist through the holiday season. “Real strength and resilience is seeking and getting the help one needs and deserves,” Finch said. A good first step could be visiting the Real Warriors Campaign site, www.realwarriors. net, or calling the Defense Centers of Excellence Outreach Center at 866-9661020 to confidentially speak with trained health resource consultants 24/7. The Real Warriors website features video profiles of service members and military
families sharing their stories. The site also has informative links that may offer strategies that fit your needs. You can also download the Real Warriors Campaign’s new mobile app to engage with other service members and military families, and connect with campaign tools and resources. Available on Apple devices, this photo-sharing service allows you to upload photos, salute others and find help whenever you need it. Learn more about the app at iTunes,
itunes.apple.com/us/app/real-warriors/ id911378696. And as always, for immediate, 24/7 crisis help, you can reach out to any of these resources: • Defense Centers of Excellence Outreach Center, 866-966-1020 • Military Crisis Line, 800-273-8255, press “1” • afterdeployment.org • Vets4Warriors, 855-838-8255 and online at vets4warriors.com
Food, Safeway, Shoppers Food and Pharmacy,Wal-Mart and Target. While many of the programs sponsored by the USO of Metropolitan Washington-Baltimore are wrapping up, there are several in need of financial support, “especially as things wind down in Afghanistan,” said Shortencarrier. “Around the holidays, we like to remind people that we’ve been at war for the last 13 years, the longest war in our country’s history. During December, many service members will be returning home and the largest number of them will move through BWI Airport. Even a donation of $10 can help buy them a cup of coffee or something to eat on
their way home.” Donations also support the group’s annual Cookie Run and Project USO Elf. “Because many military members can’t leave post on Christmas Eve, we have volunteers who bake cookies and deliver them that night to those on duty,” said Shortencarrier. And families that have children with special needs benefit from Project USO Elf. “It’s not unusual to have families come in at the last minute, so having gift cards on hand is a great help.” Tickets to theatrical and sporting events make great holiday gifts and the local USO’s Ticketline distributes
donated tickets to families through a computer lottery system. The program, based at Fort Belvoir, accepts contributions of tickets to activities and events of all kinds, holiday-themed or not. While supporting our troops should not be restricted to the period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, the desire to ensure a warm and happy holiday season for service members and their families is a priority for many. And, while time is running out, opportunities aren’t. “There’s always a need to be met for anyone who wants to make a difference,” said Shortencarrier.
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Capital Caring providing extra support for patients who’ve served Nearly four decades ago, the founder of the hospice movement in America, a physician named Josefina Magno along with a group of community leaders, clergy and volunteers in Arlington, Va. organized themselves to provide care for their neighbors, friends and loved ones living with advanced illness. These early efforts of neighbor helping neighbor were the roots of Capital Caring, first known as Hospice of Northern Virginia. Today, with a caring staff of more than 700, Capital Caring brings their compassionate care to wherever a patient calls home 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Today, Capital Caring is one of the largest, most innovative, patient-centered hospice and palliative care organizations in the United States. At Capital Caring’s Adler Center for Caring on the Van Metre Campus in Loudon County you’ll find one of the only interventional pain clinics in the region—where our team of experts helps those with serious illness reduce their pain to make of the most of each of life’s moments. “Innovation and community engagement are key to our care approach,” said Malene S. Davis, RN, MSN, MBA, Capital Caring’s President and CEO. “We are supported by the community, have deep roots in the Greater Washington, D.C. community, and are here to serve those living with advanced illness and their families in our community.” For an organization born in the heart of Arlington—home of the sacred National Cemetery—saluting and honoring the service of America’s veterans has profound and genuine meaning.
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As the Washington, D.C. metro area’s largest hospice and palliative care provider, Capital Caring provides care to more than 1,200 families every day— and nearly $2 million a year in care to those with an inability to pay through the Patient Care Fund. Your gift will help simply improve care for someone living with serious advanced illness. Additionally, veterans who are patients receive commemorative recognition of their service and are matched with Capital Caring’s veteran volunteers. With their team of more than 20 physicians, Capital Caring trains more than 40 residents every year in hospice and palliative medicine from Walter Reed National Medical Center and Fort Belvoir Community Hospital. Each veteran coming into our care receives special attention to help navigate veterans benefits, assistance in obtaining service related benefits and compensation, spouse benefits and more. The community-based hospice also provides special recognition for veterans in their care, even hosting events to honor veterans at the patients’ or families’ request. “We will arrange a pinning ceremony at a patient’s home to celebrate and honor to their service to America,” said Davis. “It is a special feeling for our team to be in a family’s living room to share our respects for their service and to share what an honor it is for us to provide care. Capital Caring will always pay the highest honors to the veterans entrusted to our care.” Because of donors like you, we’re able to help the men and women who
CAPITAL CARING
Capital Caring’s CEO Malene Davis shares a moment with Robert McAtee, a 100-yearold patient, at a Memorial Day event Capital Caring hosted in honor of McAtee’s military service. have worn the uniform of the armed forces living with advanced illness to have access to the world-class palliative care, counseling and hospice services we provide. To find out more about Capital
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Caring, or to make a referral, call us anytime at 855-571-500, visit us on the Web at www.capitalcaring.org, like us on Facebook, or follow us on Twitter @capitalcaring.
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HOLIDAYS continued from page 3
dren, simply phenomenal little people. Take a social media hiatus. I tend to try to avoid social media when I’m doing the holidays on my own because it helps me to stay focused on the present with my family. Without the distraction, you’re not comparing apples to apples or feeling that old social media envy creep up because suchand-such’s husband is home and it’s not fair. Surround yourself with family. Okay, so my last tip is to wrap yourself up in the love of others: grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, sisters, brothers, cousins—family. This could be a blood-relative or the neighbor who PCS’d at the same time as you. It could be your best friend from first grade or your best friend from three duty stations ago. It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as you feel loved and cared for during this difficult, beautiful, frustrating, crazy, wonderful time in your life. I’m sure I missed a few things, but the takeaway from this article is that you’re not alone. There are hundreds who walk this road with you, despite how lonely you might feel. We are here with you and for you, right there down in the trenches of this military spouse life this holiday season. May you experience light, love, warmth, laughter and all the joy that this season brings.
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If you’re spending the holiday season without your spouse or significant other, surround yourself with family and friends so you feel loved and cared for during this difficult, beautiful, frustrating, crazy, wonderful time in your life.
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