David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 629

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david atlanta magazine 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-5:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com

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Matt Neumann Travis Barrón Katie Stover

photography

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14 brent star 20 momma mona 32 andrew haserlat 36 datebook 44 las margaritas 50 vagitarian 62 atlanta a-z seen@

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guides

52 horoscopes 54 bartab nightlife guides 56 directory 74 adult classifieds 78 bitchsession

Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann Jeff Jackson Jesse Hancock Tony Smithy Les Bouska

contributors

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Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo’s and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.


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The Brent Star Report Myah Monroe!

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et’s talk about the year 1994 right quick. It’s was a big year for the Gay Games IV held in New York, Bill Clinton was President (and Monica was buying a dress), Tupac was shot, and Forrest Gump was the number one movie. But there were two discoveries that same year that aroused our curiosity and our interest. One, as Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric would ask on Good Morning America, “What’s an Internet?”, and the other discovery was at a ‘sleeping beauty closet ball’ in Atlanta by Melvin when he realized that he’s good at doing drag. His then love of his life, Tre Reese encouraged him to “just go ahead and do it!”, he told her, “ you’re great at it and plus you love to dance!”. He entered the contest and won! But no matter what the prize was, his biggest win was the diva we know today as Myah Monroe. After that night, Myah was encouraged to pursue her drag by Tre Reese (whom she affectionately refers to as ‘a good man’) and her drag mom LaToya St. James. “Tre always told me not to be afraid to just be me and LaToya told me I am and always will be beautiful inside and out”. (I wonder if Flavor Flav’s mom ever told HIM that). Her other inspirations were Ms. Tommie Ross (who’s coming to Burkharts soon and who told Myah to love herself first then everything else would fall in place) and Niesha Dupree who she says “saved me when I was going through the worst time of my life and wanted to end it. She was the light that kept me going. ”. Miss Monroe has made some titles between ’94 and now. She’s former Miss Georgia US of A, Miss Florida US of A; Miss Georgia EOY (that’s Entertainer of Year), Miss Dixieland EOA, Miss Renaissance, Miss Dothan Tri States, Miss Chapparel and is the current Miss Atlanta Show Girl and Miss Kentucky National. (Damn Myah!). I asked her what were the three things she learned NOT TO DO in the drag scene, and she said: 1.Never get caught being unprofessional because you never know who’s watching you. 2. Never give do a half ass job, give it your all, and 3. Stay out of drama (Let the church say, “Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”). Myah’s favorite moments in drag were when she won that ‘Sleeping Beauty Closet Ball back in ’94, the 14 davidatlanta

moment she got 1st place in Miss National pageant once again and when she won Miss Georgia Us of A. “Omg Brent, for me it, I imagine it must be what it feels like for an actress to win an Oscar! I was also happy just to know that I was part of that legacy”. Actually, Myah does remind me of Angela Bassett child, not just her looks but because how good she is at doing Tina Turner. I first saw miss thing do Tina at Blakes in her own show which lasted for 10 years back in 2006 (I wasn’t allowed in back then, I was under age ….(crickets)…lawd forgive me. But seriously folks, her take on Tina is Simply The Best! The advice and words of wisdom Myah would like to give newcomers are: “First be true to yourself, but listen to what ppl who mean well to you and want the best for you have to say. Second, be smart and stay FOCUSED on what you want and strive for it one step at a time, and finally, BE PROFESSIONAL at all times. Trust me, this will take you so much further in this business.” Today you can catch Myah Monroe at Burkharts every Sunday giving the ‘kids’ all that and more! She also performs at various other venues in and out of town. You better go see her. The trick is, she knows how to have a certain amount of grace while being wild and on fire onstage. Also since that fatefull night at that ball back in ‘94, she still likes to compete. She has high hopes to one day be a national queen. Well allllllright Myah, I say anything is possible as you’ve seen so far yourself. I mean, look at Bryant and Katie, they literally thought the internet was a joke and a silly fad that only a few computer geeks knew about. Like you say in one of your routines Miss Monroe, “it ain’t ova until the fat lady sings! Get on up!” Until next week, don’t read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report! Where to catch Brent Star: Mondays at Einsteins (with RuPaul’s contestants Nicole Paige Brooks of season 2 and Mariah Paris Balenciaga of season 3), Saturdays at Tijuana Garage Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts and everywhere else that pays! www.facebook.com/Mr.BrentStar


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Q U E S TI O N

Ask Momma Mona Dear Momma Mona, I enjoy your column. A few weeks ago there was something about how many gays tend to not come out at work for various reasons. I could not believe that you were describing me! I hate to admit it, but I’ve been very careful about what I share at work and I’ve even acted hetero at times to keep suspicion down. Everything you said!! But now, there is another problem on top of that. I have a new boss who simply does not like me regardless of what he may think about sexual orientation. It’s like I smell or something. He meets with the other team

members, takes them to lunch, and gives others the good projects. He’s not real overt about the fact that he doesn’t like me, but he is overt about who he does like, which is everyone but me. I’m already not as close to everyone because I don’t share that I’m gay. Now, I don’t think it wise to confide in anyone about what is happening with the new boss. I use to like my job, now I’m not eager to go to work and even not sleeping as well. It really worries me that he will eventually fire me. What can I do? My Boss Doesn’t Like Me

ANSWER

MY BOSS DOESN’T LIKE ME Dear My Boss Doesn’t Like Me, First, let me say that I really feel for you and I am so sorry you are going through this most unfortunate situation. It appears that you are the target of workplace bullying. A brief definition is repeated and persistent negative actions towards one or more individual(s), which involves a perceived power imbalance and creates a hostile work environment (Denise Salin, 2003, Ways of explaining workplace bullying: a review of enabling, motivating and precipitating structures and processes in the work environment. Human Relations, 56, 121332). Another definition adds “Persistent, offensive, abusive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behavior, abuse of power or unfair penal sanctions which makes the recipient feel upset, threatened, humiliated or vulnerable, which undermines their self-confidence and which may cause them to suffer stress” (MSF, 1995, Bullying at Work: How to Tackle It. A Guide for MSF Representatives and Members, MSF, London). MSF also gives some examples of workplace bullying, which your boss is certainly exhibiting. “Setting objectives with impossible deadlines; removing areas of responsibility and giving people menial or trivial tasks to do instead; taking credit for other people’s ideas; ignoring or excluding an individual by talking only to a third party to isolate another; withholding

THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION YOU ARE IN AND IT WILL NOT GET BETTER ON ITS OWN. 20 davidatlanta

information; spreading malicious rumours; constantly undervaluing effort; persistent criticism.” This is a serious situation you are in and it will not get better on its own. Please check out the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), particularly the three-stepmethod located at http://www.workplacebullying. org/targets/solution/three-step-method.html. It is good that you have not spoken about this to anyone at work. You will need to be very strategic from here on out. Knowledge is power, so the more you can educate yourself about this problem the better off you will be. You do need support to help you through this, so consider coaching through WBI or a local counselor who specializes in workplace bullying. It takes specific knowledge about the dynamics of workplace bullying, so be sure your counselor has this knowledge and experience. Not to scare you, but 64% of targets either quit or are fired from their jobs. Others are fortunate to be able to transfer within the company. Waiting it out is not a long term option because your health will begin to fail you and you will not work to your potential. The situation will become a self-fulfilling prophecy given enough time and your boss will claim to fire you over poor performance. My best to you in your endeavor to handle this situation in as healthy a manner as possible. Momma Mona To David readers: Be Prepared! The latest research I’ve read points to the possibility of pursuing conflict management skills in order to be better prepared to handle such a situation. Conflict Management Training should be a pre-requisite for working with others. While it does not guarantee that one can overcome a bully in the workplace (they usually are our bosses), it at least provides some tools for identifying and addressing the negative behavior early on.


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Phoenix: Expect The Unexpected W

By Jesse A. Hancock

hen it comes to local drag superstar, Phoenix, both as a contestant and in life, you can truly expect the unexpected. Born and raised in Cumming, Georgia, about 45 north of Atlanta, she moved to the city when she was about 19 and has been wowing crowds as a drag entertainer ever since. She briefly moved away to Los Angeles for a few years but returned when she got a job offer locally to be a regular weekly performer. Often seen around town, Phoenix, aka Brian Trapp, is admired by her friends and fans. She was a contender this season on RuPaul’s Drag Race, although she didn’t go far in the show she is still a winner in the hearts of all of her fans in Atlanta. Join Phoenix every Monday at Blake’s on the Park to watch each new episode with her and friends. Get there early because you can watch the Races an hour before the broadcast! The fun starts at 8:00pm with the early show at 9:00pm. How did you come up with your stage name? That’s been my stage name for ten years. A former friend of mine once mentioned something about a phoenix. I liked the sound of it. At the time, I had heard of Raven, another performer, in town and she had this one name. I liked that. It just stuck with me as very strong. I also love the whole concept of a phoenix rising from the ashes and recreating itself. For me, and my style of drag, I just think it’s very appropriate. I’ve always liked recreating myself and doing different things. Plus, I have a fiery personality, so it kind of ties it all together. How old are you? Rude! I actually just turned 30 Dec. 12. Have you been a fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race for a while? I have! I’ve watched it from the very beginning. During the first season I did commentary for the show on Logo Online. Each week after the episode I would do kind of a webisode and critique the show. From the very beginning I’ve been a fan. I’ve always looked at what I do more as art than just getting our there and lip-syncing to a song. I’ve always wanted to try to push drag entertainment as being more of an art form. A show like this puts the art of drag in people’s living room, people who wouldn’t necessarily go to a drag show and may have in their own minds what a drag queen or drag show is. A show like this puts it in their faces and allows them to see all the work that goes into it and hopefully changes people’s minds. How long have you been doing drag, and what is your day job? I’ve been doing drag for ten years. Right now, drag is it. It’s my full time job. I do it several times a week and perform anywhere from three to seven days a week at Blake’s on the Park and Jungle and other placers around town. Occasionally, I perform out of town at places like Synergy and Kaos Macon, which is fun. 26 davidatlanta

How do you describe your style? What can audiences expect when you perform? Fans can expect the unexpected. A lot of queens put themselves inside this little box. If I get bored, I think the crowd gets bored, and I get bored easily. When I’m watching a show, I want to be entertained from the moment the performer takes the stage until the end. Recently, a fan told me he is always excited to see what I am going to do. I love that people think about what I am going to do before I even step onto the stage. I think it makes a good entertainer when people are like, ‘What is this bitch about to come out and do?’ I think some performers get caught up in trying to stay pretty all the time, but I don’t really care about that. I know I can be pretty, but as I always say, ‘Looks can last 30 seconds but talent can take you a lot further.’ It’s all about the whole package. You may see me in elaborate costumes or dancing to high-energy music. I also do ballads, but I usually do them in some insane costumes. I’m usually a little edgy, and hopefully people don’t know what to expect from me. What local performers do you admire and why? Probably my biggest inspiration locally has been Shawnna Brooks. I used to drive from Cumming and sneak inside Blake’s to see her on Wednesday nights. I’ve always been so amazed by her. I work with her a lot now. She’s a really close friend, but I still find myself in awe of her. She has been entertaining a long time. I’ve seen people in her same age bracket kind of fall off, but she is constantly doing something new and different. She has this presence about her and always taught me that stage presence is what can carry you on. I also love the local icons like Charlie Brown and Lena Lust. Charlie Brown has taught me that this is a business. Lena is always so nice. Also, Nicole Paige Brooks, from last season’s RuPaul’s Drag Race, is my drag mother. She saw something in the little boy in me years ago and pulled me in and helped me a lot. Atlanta is known for good drag.


What’s the biggest misconceptions about drag queens? For one, people think all drag queens are super bitchy. People also think we are just these confused individuals about our gender. I’ve always tried to be out as a boy. I love being a boy. I have no desire to be a female or transsexual. They also think we’re all prostitutes and crack heads and bad people. I’ve met guys who were interested in me as Brian, but when they found out who I was, it threw them off. Unfortunately, some girls are like that, but for those of us who are artists and take it seriously, it makes the rest of us look bad.

What was it like working with RuPaul? It’s great. I’ve actually worked with RuPaul before. She has that presence I was talking about earlier. It captivates you. I don’t get intimidated easily by people, but there is a respect that she has that is somewhat intimidating. She has made the art of drag a huge business and done so well for herself. It has been a little overwhelming to work with her. I’m very grateful.

What was your process for making it onto the show? It was crazy. For the first season, as I said, I did webisodes and critiqued the show. I auditioned to be a contestant on the second season but did not make it. I finally made it onto the third season. The whole audition process was very lengthy, probably over about six or seven months. I started by filling out an application online, and then I had to prepare an audition video. Once I sent that in, it was a waiting process while the producers started narrowing down the applicants. Thousands of girls auditioned for this. There were several phone interviews and conversations after conversations with producers. Finally, I had to go to a sort of psychiatric evaluation, which I think is common for reality TV. I remember getting phone calls after that. Anytime my phone rang and it was someone from the networks my heart jumped out of my chest. I was at home when I finally got the call that I had made it onto the show. It was a crazy feeling. The stress of waiting was finally over, and I was super excited because I knew I would be able to take my drag to another level of respect.

What do you think of last year’s winner, Tyra Sanchez? I met Tyra once. Let’s just say some of those misconceptions I mentioned earlier do apply to some drag queens, but it’s cool that she is living and working in Atlanta now.

How do this season’s contestants compare to the first two? What will we see when we watch? This season we have a very diverse cast. In the past there were a lot of similarities. It’s very easy to get cookie cutter drag queens; they see something they like and copy it. This season has a variety, there is everything. It makes it very fun. People don’t realize there is so much variety of drag. There’s camp, comedy, glamour, edge, androgynous and more. It is not all about just being pretty.

Who do you think are the toughest competitors this season? Raja is amazing. She’s a really good friend of mine, and we were friends before I went to L.A. She is one to look out for this season. Delta Work is also amazing. Of course, there is me to watch out for, ha ha. I have my opinions about each contestant, and I feel there are several contestants who are incomplete packages.

What does winning this competition mean to you? It’s a huge step in taking my drag to a whole new level. I’ve been doing this for ten years and don’t want to just always be doing this on the floor at a bar. I want to do something more, and I have the talent. Win or lose, we beat out so many girls to be on this show. No matter what happens to any of us, I’m just extremely grateful. What’ s next for you? I have all kinds of things going on. Since this show came about, I have had so many opportunities come at me that I never expected. I’ve been speaking to producers about making music. I design shoes. I’d love to get into some kind of fashion work with shoes and accessories. I guess you’ll just have to keep an eye open. Expect the unexpected.

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No Place Like Home Away From Home

M

By Jesse A. Hancock

unchkins and poppies and flying monkeys, oh my! Put on your ruby slippers and follow the yellow brick road, or I-75, to see The Wizard of Oz at the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre Feb. 3 through Feb. 6. This spectacular production, based on the Royal Shakespeare Company’s celebration of the 1939 MGM movie, is being presented as part of the Gas South Broadway Series with special effects that will amaze audiences from the moment the tornado twists its way into Kansas. Andrew Haserlat, who plays the Scarecrow and Zeke, the farm hand, has surely not been whiling away the hours lately. In fact, he has busier than ever with live theater and recent roles in feature films. He is excited to be in this production and to visit Atlanta.

Actor Proud to Play Scarecrow David Magazine: How do you like playing the Scarecrow and Zeke? Andrew: From a young age I’ve always related most to the Scarecrow. He’s kind of thought to be not the smartest one in the bunch because he doesn’t have a brain, but in the end he is the most grounded of them all, and he is the most truthful to himself and to the mission of helping Dorothy through her journey. He really knows what has to happen and knows how to get Dorothy back home. I’ve always thought he was a great nonhuman character, and now I have the chance to play him onstage across the country. He really fits my personality. He has a bit of a cartoony element to him. As a young character actor, I’m drawn to those roles where I can play something non-realistic. This production has been out touring for three years. I auditioned for it twice before and had numerous callbacks but didn’t get the part. This year they were looking for a scarecrow, and I was available, so I ended up booking it.

David Magazine: What can audiences expect at this performance of The Wizard of Oz? Andrew: What’s really exciting is that it’s based off a recent revival in the West End in London created by the Royal Shakespeare Company. So Oz has a whole new 1930s art deco feel to it. All the costumes have kind of been reconceived in a way. There’s a beautiful set and spectacular special effects brought to life from the way you remember it in the movie. There are pyrotechnics and flying effects. They are also reincorporating several elements that were cut from the movie but in the original Broadway show. There are also big dance sequences. The poppies come to life and become dancers. Plus we have crows that sing along with me as the Scarecrow and trees that sing and dance. The show embraces the 1939 MGM film, but it definitely elaborates it in many ways. There are 22 cast members. We’re also using 12 young local actors, who play both the munchkins and the winkie guards throughout the show. It’s always great that when we come to a new city we get to work with local youth actors. Tickets are on sale starting at $20.00 and are Another thing I love is that our production stays available at the Box Office at the Cobb Energy with the idea of two worlds. All of our costumes Centre, all Ticketmaster outlet locations, at first are in these beautiful sepia tones, like you ticketmaster.com or by phone at 800-745-3000. are looking at this vintage picture. Then all of a The box office, located at 2800 Cobb Galleria sudden the tornado strikes and we’re transported Parkway, is open Monday thru Friday 10:00 to this beautiful, vibrant, colorful world. a.m. – 6:00 p.m. and Saturday 10 a.m. – 2:00 p.m., closed on Sundays. 32 davidatlanta


David Magazine: What are some of the challenges in producing this show? Andrew: When people come to see a show, they don’t realize how exhausting it is for the entire cast and crew. We don’t want them to know that. We want them to have a good time, but we may have been on a bus that day for five hours, and that’s a short day. Some days we’ll be on the bus for twelve hours. It’s such a joy to bring a familyfriendly show like this on tour to such a diverse audience. We play all different venues from one day to one week at a time. In between we are often on the bus. It can be stressful. Unfortunately, we are away from family and don’t get to see much of the cities we’re in because we are so busy with show calls and performing. If we stay for a week we may get to see a little bit. We may get some time off during the day. We’re looking forward to exploring Atlanta some while we are there. David Magazine: Where are you from and where do you live now? Andrew: I grew up in Ipswich, Massachusetts, which is the North Shore of Massachusetts. I went to college in Maine, but I have been living in New York City for about five years. I can call myself a New Yorker now. It has been such a great experience traveling across the country and getting to see the change in landscape from state to state. David Magazine: What have been your favorite or most memorable roles? Andrew: Most recently I played Will Parker in Oklahoma! and that was a real joy. I also loved playing Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors. That’s always a great role. I like to play those quirky, younger characters. Those are by far my two favorite roles. I previously spent about three summers in Ogunquit, Maine. It’s a great community. I did about seven shows with them from Les Miserables to High School Musical. Most recently I’ve done some feature film work. I was, unfortunately, cut out of the director’s cut of The Social Network. David Fincher, the director, mentioned publicly that he ‘screwed up cutting Haserlat out of the film.’ We filmed for about two days in Boston on the MIT campus and worked with Jesse Eisenberg and the whole crew. Unfortunately, about two months later they ended up cutting that scene out and re-filming a portion of it in L.A. and not really getting in touch with us. It was nice getting the nod of an apology, though. Before that I worked on Surrogates (2009), the sci-fi film with Bruce Willis. I played ‘college undergraduate #1’ and had some lines in that. It was great doing both films. I also was on Gossip Girl while I was living in the city. I did a lot of stand-in and body work for them.

What Dorothy is missing in her life is cast upon these other characters. She’s realizing that she always had it in her to be stronger or smarter or braver. Garland aspect of it, but it’s also in general the idea of these friends who don’t really know each other at all but are so accepting of each other. Here are these strangers who meet this girl who is lost and they take her in as their own and decide to help make her dream come true to get home. They are so willing and open and accepting. They’re all missing something in their lives. In my mind it’s like what Dorothy is missing in her life is cast upon these other characters. She’s realizing that she always had it in her to be stronger or smarter or braver. The four of them are almost like one person at time. For them to be all missing something but really to always have had it the whole time is powerful. It’s what is happening all over the world, people questioning whether or not they are worthy as a person. It’s really important to look inside and realize how much they really have as individuals. I think that’s such a positive theme that makes me feel good just to talk about. Even after doing like 50 productions of it this year, it’s great to think about how our characters just open up their arms and say, ‘Come on, let’s go find the wizard and make this girl’s dream come true.’ I think everyone has the right to want that. It’s hard in the gay and lesbian community. To have a positive driving force like that, of four friends who come together to make whatever they want happen . . . that’s really important. David Magazine: Do you see a lot of fans who really get into the show and dress in costumes? Andrew: Most definitely. We see a lot of little girls who dress up in ruby slippers and a blue and white dress. Sometimes we look out and see wigs. We definitely have a following of little Dorothies out there.

David Magazine: Well don’t be surprised to see some more here in Atlanta! What’s next for you when you finish touring? Andrew: It isn’t officially scheduled yet, but I’ll probably be heading back to Maine to work at the Ogunquit Playhouse in their education department as a musical theater director. Then I’ll David Magazine: Why do you think gay fans be heading back to New York City to see what’s love The Wizard of Oz so much? next. There’s always something to audition for Andrew: Well, there’s of course the whole Judy next.


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Date Book

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Date Book

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VAGITARIAN I

After my friends and I relocated one another in the park, we set up home base which included: adult beverages, snacks, cute friends, a deflated soccer ball, and a volleyball net. I watched as my friends stumbled to put up the volleyball net as I drank my PBR, but was impressed by the skill and coordination it took to put up the net with one hand, and drink a cocktail out of the other. I met up with some friends for brunch at Roaster’s Moments later, the net was up and we began a off of Lenox, and we stuffed our faces with game of “gay volleyball”, which meant-- no cornbread, BBQ, and beer out on the patio. The spiking. patio. I couldn’t believe that we were all sitting outside on the patio, complaining about how hot As the afternoon progressed, the game got a lot we were in our sweaters, and stripping off our more interesting. People were sliding all over layers in January. By the way, if you haven’t had the place due to the dead leaves or the amount a chance to check out Roaster’s, you definitely of alcohol they had consumed, and strangers had should. The food is delicious, and everyone who joined in. Ah, yes, strangers... which included works there is super friendly, but make sure you two incredibly quiet guys, one incredibly quiet girl, a lesbian with spunk, and a chick on go hungry. crutches. After about two hours of playing, the After brunch, we jumped in our cars and rode game was over. We had forgotten the score and with the windows down to Piedmont Park. It felt called it off. I am usually very competitive, but good to feel the breeze against my skin again, and something about that day and the combination of my arm baking in the sun as it dangled outside of sun and good company made me soft. After all, my window. As we made our way to the park, I everybody is a winner, right? saw what all of us wait for--- skin, skin, and more skin. Men were running shirtless, and the ladies were showing off their legs and shoulders, which made that gorgeous day even better. I woke up Saturday and was surprised to be

greeted by a gorgeous day. I hopped online and looked at the forecast for the weekend, and literally started jumping up and down when I read that it was going to be 70 degrees over the weekend. Blue skies, sunshine, and fresh air is exactly what I needed after a stressful week.


What I enjoyed most about Saturday, was that the park was packed. It was like everyone decided to put their busy lives on hold and venture out to the park for the entire day. Families, couples holding hands, and dogs... Oh, my! It made my heart happy to see everyone together, under the sun, celebrating life.

As the sun was setting, and I was walking back to the car, I looked up and saw this couple sitting on the top of a hill, on a blanket, kissing. The light reflected off of their skin so beautifully. They looked so in love. I feel so lucky to have experienced that day with friends, and to have ended it by witnessing something as magical as true love. Hope you all took advantage of the weather this weekend, and enjoyed it as much as I did. Have a good week.

stover@davidatlanta.com


Horoscopes

ARIES Try to stay grounded this week — though that might seem pretty hard. It’s a good time for you to take it easy and try to get some perspective when things seem more difficult than they usually do.

SAGITTARIUS You need to marshal your resources more carefully right now, or else things might spin out of control. It’s one of those times when you’ve got to pay careful attention to budgetary and spending issues.

TAURUS Keep your ears open this week — wisdom can come from anywhere. Little kids at Kroger, jerky bosses at work and random strangers on MARTA can all bust out with nuggets that are just what you need.

CAPRICORN Good news comes your way, most likely before the end of the week, and it puts recent troubles in a new light. You may get good results from a test or just a friendly request for your company from someone unexpected.

GEMINI What’s really going on right now? You may wonder if you’re paranoid, but someone really does have a hidden agenda. Don’t bother trying to figure them out — life gets a lot easier to understand soon.

AQUARIUS This is not the best time for struggling against the universe — it’s got a plan for you and you just have to go along with it for the time being. You may find yourself in a much more interesting place!

CANCER Work and career issues may be problematic now, but that doesn’t mean you need to storm off or quit in the heat of the moment. If you deal with it all maturely, you should make a great impression.

PISCES Reach into your bag of tricks (possibly quite a few times) to find something new for your family or work group — a shake-up is in order! They might not even know what’s happened until it’s too late.

LEO Listen carefully before taking action this week. If you don’t know exactly what’s going down, you can’t make a real difference. Check in with all the key players before you even dream up a plan. VIRGO Focus on your creative side right now. That could mean holding your tongue if you feel the need to criticize your own or others’ work, but that is a small price to pay for new ideas. LIBRA You feel a little weird lately— but try not to read too much into it! You need to keep an open mind about the situation, especially if someone close is pushing you or seems put out themselves. SCORPIO It’s a good time for arguments of all kinds — but not for fights. You need to toss ideas around to see which ones are best suited for your needs, and it may be that you need to see them in action first.

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WALK-INS WELCOME 1579 Monroe Drive • Atlanta, GA 30324 bubblesatlanta.com • 404.876.7745

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THU R SDAY

3 Legged Cowboy - Family Poker 7:30pm Amsterdam - Showtunes 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - 1/2 Price Appetizers 11am-8pm-Blake’s Wild Card Show-11pm Burkharts - Family Feud 11:30pm Club 91 - Swagg Tuesday’s The Eagle - Rock Music-Free Pool with Tony Felix’s - Smirnoff Martini Night Friends on Ponce - Let’s Make A Deal Heretic - Time Warp 70s 80s 90s Music with Paul-Dance Floor Open 10pm Las Margaritas - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm LeBuzz - Talent Search & Karaoke Mary’s - CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best! Oscar’s - Show Tunes & Glee 8pm Swinging Richards - $5 Cover After Midnight Woofs - Free WII from 4:00 till close - Industry Night!! 3 Legged Cowboy - Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9 Amsterdam - Get L.I.T. All Day Specials Bellissima - Karaoke 8pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - FEATHERS & FLESH BURLESQUE REVUE 11pm Burkharts - Karaoke 10:30pm Club 91 - The Main Event Cabaret & Talent Show Followed By DJ Rick The Eagle - 80s Music with Travis-Tim’s Black Jack Friends on Ponce - 3D Thursdays Disco & Dazzle with Diva Jasen Heretic - Boys Night Out-Mandatory Dress Code Party Or Go Shirtless-DJ Lydia Prim 10pm Las Margaritas - Karaoke 8pm LeBuzz - Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase Mary’s - DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Karaoke 9PM Oscar’s - Wicked Wednesdays 80s Music Videos 8pm Tripps - Taco Buffet 5pm Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 VIP Room Woofs - Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm 3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 - Ladies Night Amsterdam - Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special Bellissima - ‘The Midtown Comedy Show’ / Open Mic at 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm-The Shawnna Factor Show 11pm Burkharts - Princess Charles’ Fashionistas Show 11:30pm Club 91 - Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT The Eagle - Karaoke with Mikey-Tim’s Black Jack Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm Friends on Ponce - HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie Heretic - AZUCA-Latin Night Hot Latin Tribal Beats with DJ Karlitos 10pm Las Margarita’s - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM LeBuzz - Ladies Night Shows Mary’s - Themed Parties Reto DJ’s Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 Door & 2-4-1 VIP Room Tripps - Karaoke with Darlene 9pm Midtown W – Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight Mixx - Karaoke 9pm-1am Kamikaze Karaoke Contest 11-Midnight Model T - Robert & Michael serve up their Best! Woofs - Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials 54 davidatlanta

FR I D AY SAT U R D AY

Amsterdam - Video Request Night - Industry Night 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Drag On The Edge Show 11pm Burkharts - Karaoke 10:30pm The Eagle - Comedy TV-Free Pool with Tony Felix’s - Free Pool Friends on Ponce - Afternoons with Jasen 2pm Frogs - $1 Tacos 6-9pm Heretic - S.I.N. Night with Brian - Dance Floor Open 10pm Jungle - Stars of the Century Show 11pm Las Margaritas -Dragamundo (formerly Dragamaki) with Bubba D. Licious and guests LeBuzz - Man Dance Cabaret - GOGO Dancers - Drink Specials 8pm Mary’s - Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins Mixx - Live Pianist 9pm - 1am Model T - Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks! Woofs - Texas Hold’em 8pm

SU ND AY

W ED N ESD AY

T U E S D AY

M O N D AY

Bartab Nightlife Guide

3 Legged Cowboy - Sugar Baby’s Trailer Park Revue-10pm Amsterdam - DJ Dance Party Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix Show 11pm Burkharts - Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm Club 91 - It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers Chaparral - Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers The Eagle - Club Nights-DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Bartenders Ray & Cory - Serve it up! Friends on Ponce - Happy Time With Daniel and Terry Heretic - Special Guest DJs-Dance Party 10pm Jungle - Dragnique Talent Search Competition. Doors Open 9:30pm. Dance Party Follows LeBuzz - Dance Party & Show Mary’s - Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party - Love DJ Mixx - High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am Model T - Poker Night 9pm Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails Tripps Bar - Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times 3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Amsterdam - High Energy Videos 9pm Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Jealouse’s Daring Divas Show 11pm Burkharts - Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm Club 91 - RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night The Eagle - Club Nights-DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm Friends on Ponce - Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer Heretic - Special Guest DJs-Dance Party 10pm Jungle - Special Guest DJs Dance Party LeBuzz - Saturday Night Fever Show Mary’s - Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week Mixx- Dance Party 10pm - 3am Model T - Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone! Sanctuary - Sextasy Latino Night, Divas Show and DJ Dance Party Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 Tripps - Cookout 2pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times Amsterdam - Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Sunday Brunch 12-3-DJ’s Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox Spin All Night Burkharts - Sunday Spectacular Show 9pm Club 91 - Lions Den Legendary Sunday’s DJ Sedrick & DJ Brooks Felix’s - Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers Las Margaritas - All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM Model T - Sunday Dinner 3pm Tripps - Complimentary Buffet 3pm-Karaoke 7pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

See Guide on Page 62 for Locations


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Health and Wellness Program: featuring on-site complimentary Spin, Dance and Kickboxing classes Hardwood and Concrete flooring available All granite countertops Stainless Steel GE Appliances Valet Dry cleaning and Housekeeping Available Hip monthly socials featuring live DJ Door to Door waste and recycling pick up Hotel suite for resident guests Complimentary wash, dry and fold laundry service and continental breakfast

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THE WORTHING COMPANIES 55 davidatlanta davidatlanta 55




CLUB ARGOS 1923 Walton Way-706-481-8829www.clubargos.net THE FILLING STATION @ The Parliament Resort 1258 Gordon Highway-706-828-7400 www.gayaugusta.com/thefillingstation

MACON

KAOS 2780 Riverside Drive – 478-621-0662 www.kaosmacon.com SYNERGY 425 Cherry Street – 478-755-9383

SAVANNAH

BLAINE’S 13 East Perry Street-912-233-6765 www.blainesbar.com CHUCK’S BAR 305 West River Street-912-232-1005 CLUB ONE 1 Jefferson Street-912-232-0200 www.clubone-online.com UNADILLA The Lumberyard @ Lumberjacks Resort 50 Highway 230-1-877-888-1688 www.lumberjackscampground.com

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TE N N E S S E E

AUGUSTA

CHATTANOOGA

A L A B A MA

GEORGIA

Out of Town Directory BIRMINGHAM THE QUEST 416 24th Street South-205-251-4313 www.the-quest-club.com OUR PLACE 2115 8th Avenue S. 205-715-0077 JOE’S ON SEVENTH 2627 7th Avenue South- 205-321-2812 www.joesonseventh.com

IMAGES 6005 Lee Highway-423-855-8210 www.mirage-complex.com CHUCK’S 27 W. Main Street- 423-265-5405 ALLAN GOLD’S 1100 McCallie Avenue-423-629-8080f

DOTHAN

CLUB IMAGINATION 4129 Ross Clark Circle 334-792-6555

MONTGOMERY

CLUB 322 322 N. Lawrence Street - 334-263-4322


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Atlanta A to Z

by David C. Muller

EPISODE THIRTY-FOUR:

“J is for Jo Koy” Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County. The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.”

On Friday, Luke’s best friend, Greg, breezed in to town and, at eleven p.m. they tuned in to E! Network to watch “Chelsea Lately.” Luke had seen this show numerous times and he liked the irreverence of the blonde Jewish comedian. Chelsea Handler introduced Jo Koy as one of the comedians at the roundtable that night and Greg said: “I think Jo Koy is kind of hot in a dorky, beady Asian kind of a way.” “You think that guy is cute?” Luke did not see it, “Is Jo Koy even gay?” “Oh he’s gay alright.” Greg said, “I am 100% convinced Jo Koy is a homosexual. He constantly denies that he’s gay but just look at him: he’s a total homo; I’ve never seen anything like it. He shaves his head, he secretly wears glasses and he pouts when Chelsea picks on him about liking cock. Just look!” Luke and Gregory watched the television. They watched as Joy Koy took off his jacket to flex the insignificant muscle of right arm and then to flex the insignificant muscle of left arm. Jo Koy wore a white undershirt and he turned to the audience and said “I’m alright. I’m alright.” Chelsea Handler leered at him and hissed, “Gay. You look gay, Jo Koy.” 62 davidatlanta

“Look, Luke!” Greg pointed, “Look how he pouts when she picks on him for being a homosexual. That’s how I know he’s gay and that’s how I know he’s a bottom. Like any good Asian faggot, Jo Koy likes to bend over and grab those ankles; he likes to roll over on his back and point those ankles to Jesus. Did you know Jo Koy can sign?” “He can sing?” Luke shook his head, “I didn’t know he can sing.” “Not only that, I heard Jo Koy has a foot fetish and, as we all know, ‘foot fetish’ is code for ‘I like to suck dick and I like to get fucked by dick.’ Have you ever heard him say the F word? He says the word ‘fuck’ like a fag.” Luke winced, “How does Jo Koy say the word ‘fuck’?” “He says it like this: Fuuuuck,” Greg said, “with an emphasis on the UH part of the word, probably the same sound he makes when he grunts and groans while riding dick. You know that sound they make when they’re straddling you and you’re pumping it up inside them?” “Is that the kind of noise you make?” Luke said, “I don’t make that kind of noise and I don’t think Jo Koy makes that kind of noise, either.”


“He probably sounds like that Japanese hooker in that movie, what was it called?” Greg asked, “LOST IN TRANSLATION? You remember that ‘lip my stocking’ stuff?” Greg made mockery of an Asian accent, “‘Oh no please Misser Harris.’ Do you remember that scene in the hotel with the hooker and Bill Murray?” Luke shook his head, “I don’t think I saw that movie.” “I bet Jo Koy sounds like a Geisha girl during coitus. I bet he says ‘Yes oh yes Misser Harris, please pork me. Please pork me good with your hot stick of Szechuan.” Gregory again donned a fake Filipino accent. “‘Please penetrate my deep hot Asian hole of glory.’ Kung po me, pweese, Misser Harris!” “Pweese?” Luke made a face of disapproval, “That’s not a word.” “Sometimes Asian guys can’t say the letter L. They don’t have that letter in some of those Asian languages. I know that don’t have the letter V in Japanese.” Greg said, “Joy Koy shops at Target with Ross Matthews.” “And you think that makes him gay?” “I don’t think, Luke; I know.” Gregory said, “I don’t usually go for Asian guys, especially not for Asian guys as old as Jo Koy but, in Jo Koy’s case, I’d love to strip him naked, suck on that puny little penis of his and then I’d nibble on his negligible little nuts; I bet they’re salty and hairless like MuShu chicken; and then I’d bend Jo Koy over backwards and show him who’s daddy.” “That sounds hot.” Luke asked, “Have you ever seen that other comedian, the black one?” “You mean Loni Love?” “YES!” Luke smiled, “I love her. I love that big fat black momma! I’d love to stick my gay face between her big black ginormous boobs.” “Hmm,” Greg thought of bacon, “that makes me hungry. Are you hungry, Luke?” “My God yes!” Luke licked his lips, “I’m starving. I’m simply ravenous!”

Tune in next week for EPISODE THIRTY-FIVE: “K is for Krispi Kreme” “ATLANTA A to Z” would LOVE to hear from you! QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS: We welcome your feedback! Send us an email at: AtlantaAtoZ@DavidAtlanta.com AND AtlantaAtoZ@Gmail.com



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February 13, 2011 • 5 - 9 PM

Join us for a night of hors d'oeuvres, cocktails, music and silent auction at our Valentine's party

Cantoni Furniture 1011 Monroe Drive

VIP tickets - $50 General Admission - $25 Purchase tickets online or at the door:

www.joininghearts.org 21& older, ID required

Catamarca Imports

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Protect Your Monster

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by Richard Marshall


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Bitch Session Do people EVER do nice things without expecting Part of any relationship is being vulnerable. Since something in return? you like to pounce on people’s every weakness, you are just not relationship material. You aren’t a nice Don’t try to sleep with my boyfriend, especially person, period. after I just turned you down. Rude! So you think that some of your “friends” are boring? You, of course, assume that you are truly fascinating and that everyone hangs on your every arrogant and conceited word.

I feel bad for homeless homosexuals. They have no closet to come out of.

I met my boyfriend in a bathroom. Stop knocking it.

Why do people call themselves “queers”? It makes me cringe every time. You have a fat ass and man boobs, aka “moobs.” So why do you keep reminding me I’m average?

Why are you mad at me for having sex behind your I am a beautician, not a magician. Remember, I back with the escort you hire for me every year on hold the scissors, so don’t be a bitch. my birthday? Another guy who shaves his damn crotch. That I came over to your place to have sex, not to watch body image disease sure runs rampant in this town. you check Facebook and text your ex boyfriend, you obnoxious freak. It didn’t bother me that you’re in your 50s. It bothered me to find out you lied about it. I have to You say you don’t want to be in a relationship, yet you spend an abnormally creepy amount of time wonder what else you lied about. with your so-called “straight” roommate, who is Do you feel less threatened and more at ease with clearly in love with you. Wake up, you ARE in a boring romantic partners so you can be the star? relationship! With him. I think it just makes you feel like the unstable Why does every gay man in this town think he is personality that you are. so influential and important? You’ve been watching Why is it so hard to meet any normal looking too many teen dramas. masculine gay men? Everyone seems to have to fit In the gay world nine months is practically your some mold once they come out. silver anniversary. Why are gay films often so bad? Is it too much to I don’t care if you are a top or bottom or whatever. ask for a decent story that entertains and leaves me feeling like it was worth my time? You need to wash before hooking up.

Gotta Bitch?

? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? ? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch?

Text it to 404.969.BTCH(2824) 78 davidatlanta


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