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After a month-long hiatus from publishing, the Portland State Vanguard is back—with an update! We will be reviving our “Letters to the Editor,” a recurring Opinion feature that publishes and spotlights voices from around PSU, as well as the larger community of Portland, Oregon.
This is a section devoted to spotlighting the opinions and feelings of our readsers, rather than the writers and contributors in our newsroom, and we welcome submissions from anyone. We’re particularly interested in perspectives related to current Portland events and community issues, as well as circumstances that impact the Pacific Northwest overall. We’d also love to hear your thoughts on stories we’ve covered—if you have a strong opinion about something we’ve reported, write us! We’ll happily read your submissions.
To share your letters for publishing consideration, email your thoughts to opinion@psuvanguard. com with the heading LETTER TO THE EDITOR, followed by your subject line.
We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
To say that the political relationships between Republicans and Democrats across the country have become severely divided is an understatement. The movement of Oregon counties to consider joining Idaho—while a small and relatively fringe initiative—only goes to show that the political divisions between the Republicans and Democrats are still quite apparent in one of the most historically blue states in the nation.
However, what makes this political situation unusual is that the poll predictions for Oregon leadership in the upcoming election—with a particular focus on the gubernatorial race— shows an unusually marginal lead for Tina Kotek, with Republican candidate Christine Drazen still being a robust contender for the gubernatorial win in November.
In an interview with The Vanguard, Chairperson of the Oregon Democratic Party Carla “KC”
Hanson expressed doubts about the polling numbers. “I think it’s a sign of a lot of money going into advertising [for Republicans]—which is a lot of false advertising,” she said. “This is mostly a result of a three-way race with gubernatorial candidate Betsy Johnson… She is a spoiler with a lot of funding and a lot of push… this throws a lot
of political norms out of the window.”
Hanson pointed out how young voters between ages 18–25 represent an extremely important group of voters in Oregon for the upcoming election and explained that young voters need to be active. Sadly, historical elections have shown that young voters do not tend to vote as frequently, which Hanson herself shared her experience with. “In college I may have been an occasional voter too… but I didn’t get involved with the Democratic Party until I recognized the Democratic Party was in line with my view,” she said. “I think young people get involved first because they see an issue and they expand beyond that and then they get involved in voting.
Of course most people who get involved with an issue already recognize the necessity of voting first, but prior to that most [college students] people are just trying to get their tests done and figure out how to make their rent payment…
What college students face nowadays with costs and tuition rates are out of control… education is a right… The Democrats want to bring that back to balance. There’s no question in my mind on which political party is better for the students.”
When asked if Hanson thought the Oregon Republican Party holds the same values in the
importance of education and college, Hanson was quick to respond. “I don’t think they [Republicans] care much,” she said. “I haven’t seen them do anything to help with spiraling education costs… I don’t see any effort to support students when I see the Oregon Republican legislature vote against tenant protection or voting against minimum wage. Tina Kotek, for one, has been a champion of those things… it’s easy enough to say that these things are a right, but when asked how they’re going to make it happen? The Republicans don’t have answers.”
Hanson also stressed her party’s platform on reproductive rights. “What we hear when we are trying to talk to Oregonians, when we knock on their door or call them on the phone, is that women are worried about their personal freedom—and while Oregon is safe for now, women are about to lose that reproductive freedom,” she said. “If Congress and the Presidency loses to the Republicans in the next two years and there’s an abortion ban, we can look at what is happening to other states. Republicans say they are for state rights, but it is only messaging that gets them to the next step that can get them to make decisions at the door… When I talk to women they are terrified, especially child-bearing aged women.
It’s something that maybe folks only begin to think about when they have to think about it, such as when contraception fails or a woman is victimized by rape or incest.”
Most of the Republican activity that Hanson mentioned happens at the federal level of the United States. When asked if the Oregon Republican Party is any different from the views or behavior from Republicans on the federal level, Hanson immediately replied that there isn’t a difference. “Remember that most of the Oregon Republican Party is from out-of-state,” she said. “They are trying to look different but they do not act differently.”
Hanson also stressed the importance of voters taking an interest in their legislators as strongly as the federal legislators, and in the state governor as much as the president.
“Frankly, if this gubernatorial election wasn’t a three-way race, this race would’ve already been a landslide,” Hanson said.
Hanson emphasized the importance of political engagement even in the face of political tension.
“Politics may produce a groan as it gets ugly,” she said, before stressing the importance of participation. “VOTE! Vote as if your life depends on it, and your freedom sincerely depends on it.”
BRAD LE
The Republican Party has seen a lot of changes to its public image over the last few years. Ever since the Trump administration, the Republican Party has faced numerous criticisms over its conduct following many press-heavy events such as the Capitol riots, the Dobbs V. Jackson Women’s Health Organization Supreme Court Case and discussions about a federal ban on abortion, raising ire from people across the country.
In regards to Oregonian politics, especially with the gubernatorial election around the corner, it makes sense that the Republican Party in Oregon is trying to rebrand its image in an attempt to appeal to a younger generation of voters.
“The Republican Party has an image that has and is changing over time,” said Justin Hwang, the chairman of the Republican Party of Oregon. “It used to have the image of old and racist white men... The Oregon GOP in reality is not racist nor is it for old men. Half of the Oregon GOP leadership is under 40 years old and even our treasurer is under 30 years old. The Oregon GOP knows that it is important to bridge the older and younger generations as we try to reconcile
their voices to do what’s best for Oregon.”
Hwang, 37, is a Gresham restaurateur who founded the Joy Teriyaki and Joy Poke restaurants. In July 2022, Hwang stepped up from Vice Chairman of the Oregon GOP to Chairman following the stepping down of the previous Chairman, Sen. Herman Baertschiger Jr.
According to many gubernatorial polls, the gubernatorial candidates Tina Kotek (Democrat) and Christina Drazan (Republican) are in a very tight race, which is a surprise to many in light of Oregon’s long electoral history as a firm supporter of the Democratic Party. Polling data indicates that incumbent governor Kate Brown may be the most unpopular governor across the country, which could explain why Oregonians may be interested in moving away from 35 years of gubernatorial Democratic Leadership—a Republican governor has not been elected in Oregon since 1987 with Victor Atiyeh.
“Oregonians want change, and that’s why the Oregon GOP is changing too,” Hwang said. “We gave Democrats more than 20 years to help improve things, but there are still immediate issues that need to be solved.
We’re trying to get the message across about important issues such as homeless, poverty, opioid addiction and that people can’t afford to buy a house, to name a few things. The Oregon GOP is trying to educate and help all Oregonians realize that there is more than just the way we’ve been doing it for 20-plus years. This state is 35th in education because we are always trying to lower the bar… it is time to reject the far-left agenda.”
While the Republican Party in Oregon is becoming younger, historically voters age 18–25 have consistently shown dismal turnout of just under about 50%. However, political observers note that political affiliation by generation increasingly becomes more conservative as people become older and that because they have a higher turnout rate, the strength of the GOP broadly benefits from lower turnout from younger voters, who are generally more liberal. “Frankly, it is a shame that young people are not as engaged in politics as they should be, and it shouldn’t honestly matter if we [Oregon GOP] benefit from that or not,” Hwang said.
“Education is needed and information is a right for young people for them to be
engaged,” Hwang said. “I have faith as a Republican that what we’re doing is right for Oregon and I have faith that many young people like myself can also see that what we’re doing is right for Oregon.”
Hwang has been very active in his campaigns to rally Republican support in Oregon to vote in this upcoming election. “I’m not spending enough time with my wife,” Hwang joked. “This job is killing me.” In one of Hwang’s campaign speeches, Hwang encouraged the audience to vote and told them that he is going to “win every damn race in Oregon.” There is also an Instagram post on Hwang’s page with a caption that reads, “Oregonians will reject the far left agenda this November,” and “Oregonians are ready for change!” With the amount of activity over attempting to persuade Oregon voters to the Republican cause, Hwang explained to Vanguard his commitment to enthusiastic campaigning. “We have to win to do a lot of good things,” he said. “Oregonians want change and the Oregon GOP is ready to give that opportunity. We’re [Oregon GOP] young and we have the energy to do good things for this state.”
Post-World War II, the United States has made a point to educate its citizenry about the egregious violence that was the Holocaust. First-hand accounts of Nazi brutality appear in the literature of our public schools, graphic depictions in our media and vivid retellings in our museums. So yes, as a culture we remember. However, if we stand by and silently observe how patterns of racial violence, tyrannical warfare and sociopolitical injustice continue to repeat themselves in the modern day, some would argue that this would be an offense to memory.
In his momentous artistic creation titled Die Plage (The Plague), American-Jewish artist and composer Harley Gaber (1943-2011) depicted the Holocaust as a medium to meditate on our responsibility beyond passive remembrance.
October 2022 marks the first exhibition of this piece in over 20 years, and it is being displayed now through Jan. 29, 2023 in Oregon’s Jewish Museum and Center for Holocaust Education (OJMCHE).
Die Plage is a monumental photomontage
comprised of images Gaber collected for years from various sources—books and magazines, German and U.S. archives, propaganda campaigns and artistic borrowings. Untouched by Photoshop, the resulting collage is the culmination of nearly a decade of artistic composition. The selection and placement of the images—layering, juxtaposition, repetition and such—present us with a vivid history of human suffering, innocence, nationalism and displacement.
OJMCHE will display approximately 300 of the 4,200 panels that make up Die Plage. Though selected with young viewers in mind, it is critical not to underestimate the poignant tragedy depicted in these panels. Judy Margles, executive director of OJMCHE, expressed this sentiment. “I don’t think you’ll be able to walk through this exhibition without being profoundly disturbed,” she said.
Nonetheless, this horrific imagery stands as a testament to historical truth. OJMCHE conveys the significance of a piece such as this by displaying the following statement, which
was also read aloud by Margles during a recent media preview. “We study the Holocaust to examine our connections to each other,” Margles read. “We can further ask the question: in an interconnected world where injustice persists on a grand scale, how might knowledge of this atrocity contribute to our understanding of our responsibilities to one another?”
Indeed, Die Plage is simultaneously an agent for introspection and a call to action. Gaber’s close family friend, Steve Rees, adopted another interpretation of Die Plage. “The reductionist idea—the impulse to say there’s good guys, there’s bad guys, there’s people who suffer, there’s people who impose suffering—this was not Harley’s view,” Rees said. “Harley was grabbing people with this work and saying: I’m gonna argue with you that this is far more mutable than this, that we have bad guys in us and we have good guys in us, and history will give us opportunities to choose to act.”
These principles are timeless ruminations across humanity, yet examining such questions
in the context of the Holocaust is in some ways restrictive. Melissa Yaverbaum, guest curator and executive director of the Council of American Jewish Museums, expanded on the idea that survivors of that genocide dwindle in number. Yaverbaum pointed out that we will soon be arriving at a point where there will be “no primary witnesses to these events… those that are interested will be the next custodians.”
“Just like Harley was from an American Jewish point of view, making sense of his own way, we will also be responsible to make sense of it in our way,” she said.
Die Plage suggests that each of us must consider our responsibilities as custodians of our inherited history and become active participants in ensuring a peaceful future. Gaber himself described the piece as “a warning that if and when a culture allows itself to be built on a foundation of silencing individuals and their personally unique thoughts in favor of an expedient collective goal, everyone will be made to suffer.”
MILO LOZA
This weekend at Portland State’s 5th Avenue Cinema— Portland’s only student-run theater—our film curators have chosen to screen Raw, a modern French horror movie.
Raw is a film from 2016 about two sisters in veterinarian school. Justine (Garance Marillier) joins her older sister Alexia (Ella Rumpf) at the school where their parents met. Beginning on their first night at the school, Justine and her roommate Adrien (Rabah Naït Oufella) are forced to participate in a week-long hazing. They are shown a lot of bloody activities and traditions that students are expected to join in on. During their first class, the students are required to eat raw rabbit kidneys, but Justine refuses because of her vegetarianism. Alexia forces her to eat the kidney and quickly develops a rash and gets diagnosed with food poisoning. Although the meat was quite literally sickening, Justine grows ashamed of how hungry she is for more. Alexia recognizes this hunger and begins to teach her sister how to become a cannibal.
The film was chosen for screening by 5th Avenue Cinema’s Andi Johnson. The students of the theater wanted their films to reflect the vibes of October, so they’ve decided to close these last weekends of the month with horror films.
“My partner showed it to me,” Johnson said. “She saw it when it came out in theaters and she was like, ‘this movie’s crazy, we should watch this together.’” Johnson said they don’t like “the classic supernatural serial killer murderer kills teens” horror movies like Halloween or Friday the 13th Johnson said they are more into horror films that have indepth characters. “In this movie, the ‘monster’ is the main character so you’re sort of repulsed and disgusted by her, but you’re also sympathetic to what’s going on and it feels more complicated in that way,” they said.
Raw is the first feature film from Julia Ducournau. The French director brought this film to a few festivals and earned the Best First Feature at the London Film Festival. Johnson pointed out that Ducournau directed Titane as well, which came out last year in 2021 and got a lot of well-deserved recognition. “She’s sort of known for making these visceral, intense movies—and Raw definitely is,” Johnson said.
Johnson noted one scene as being especially gruesome. “The older sister is helping the other sister do something, and then cuts her toe off on accident and the younger sister eats it!” they said. They further explained that it was the moment when the older sister realized her younger sister also has a craving for flesh, even though her sister thought she had passed out. “I would say that’s the first scene of cannibalism in the movie and then it kind of picks up from there,” Johnson said. “It’s disturbing—there are disturbing things about it, but it’s not like someone jumps out and stabs a character that you’ve been following around, it’s more like something you feel in your gut.”
Raw can be shocking at times, but it’s not as serious as its topic of cannibalism implies. “There’s some levity to it,” Johnson explained. They said the film takes place during the daytime, so it doesn’t create the dark atmosphere that most people might expect. “I think the sunlight is why it doesn’t feel as disgusting as it sounds, because there is some sort of humor there.” But, as Johnson clarified, “I don’t think anyone’s going to be coming to this movie and laughing in their seat, but there are some things to lighten the intensity and the sort of yucky scenes like ‘holy shit, she’s like eating her sister’s toe right now.’”
Johnson said they thought that horror fans—the people that really know the genre—will enjoy this film. “Evil Dead, when that came out, was an independent horror film doing all these radical things that had people like, ‘oh they put a camera on a board, they’re doing all this cool shit!’” they explained. “So it had this huge cultural impact because it was this different kind of horror experience that people really connected to, and since then it’s become a sort of cultural cornerstone.”
“I don’t think that this movie necessarily has that same impact, but it’s doing these different things for the horror genre that those movies were doing when they came out,” Johnson clarified.
“For the people who are die hard ‘I only watch classic horror,’ think about this movie in the context of like when those movies were being released, because those movies were doing revolutionary things and this movie is doing something similar,” Johnson explained. They said that they imagine that people will look back in 20 years and appreciate this film for what it is.
One of the biggest compliments Johnson gave this film was for its complex characters. “It gives space to female characters that are complicated and allowed to be morally evil, in some ways,” they said. “Cannibalism is like the pinnacle of all evil for humans, so letting these characters be evil characters but still sympathetic young women who are trying to learn about themselves in a difficult society is really valuable to see, and we still need a lot of movies like that that give people some validation to their experience.”
Johnson compared this to the movie that they originally wanted to program this weekend—a similar film from the ‘90s called Ginger Snaps, which is about two high school girls who become werewolves. “It’s not very common that movies are made about young women that are given the agency to be complicated monsters,” Johnson explained. “Oftentimes, women within the horror genre are just either pegged as the victims or as the objectively evil figure. The cool thing about this movie is you get to see these young women have the agency to be complex monsters, which I think is not very common, especially freshman college age. The movie never trivializes them, it doesn’t make them into characters that are reductive or stereotypical, which I think is one part about it that’s nice.”
The complex characters and fresh film techniques is what keeps Johnson interested in modern horror movies, compared to the classic slasher films. “I think this [Raw] is a great example of a contemporary horror that is doing what those movies were doing when they were coming out,” Johnson said. “They were groundbreaking movies at the time, in terms of their depiction of character, their score, their visuals, language.” It’s not that the classic slasher films are bad, it’s that the genre has evolved and has created higher expectations for current and future movies.
“5th Ave is one of the few places where you can see this kind of shit and it’s really fun to show cool movies like this,” Johnson said. “It’s something a little different, and if you’re scared of subtitles, this is the one to come see—you get a lot just from the visuals.”
Students can catch a showing of Raw on campus for free at 5th Avenue Cinema this weekend, on Friday or Saturday at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. and Sunday at 3 p.m.
For years the world of women’s soccer has been rampant with sexual and verbul abuse. Harassment of any kind is unacceptable in the workplace, in sports and in our society as a whole—but especially when it is directed at women by powerful men.
Our latest example is the recent scandal involving Paul Riley and the Portland Thorns. The first public sign of this abuse came from a complaint by multiple Portland Thorns players after the 2014 season. In an anonymous survey reported by Kevin Draper of the New York Times, one player stated, “We got used to being called dumb, stupid, slow, idiotic, retarded.” In that same survey, another player commented, “Being subject to verbal abuse and sexism shouldn’t exist in this league by any coach.”
These kinds of remarks are beyond unacceptable. Paul Riley needs to be terminated. Yet his abusive behavior has been known for a long time and he still has not been publicly reprimanded—let alone fired.
Henry Bushnell of Yahoo! Sports reported that “Monday’s report, commissioned by U.S. Soccer and produced by former federal prosecutor Sally Yates, revealed that Thorns owner Merritt Paulson and general manager Gavin Wilkinson were aware of allegations against Riley, and nonetheless contributed to his hiring by other NWSL clubs.” Questions like these have been dogging the Thorns’ leadership for years.
Despite this, it is worth mentioning that as of last week, Merritt Paulson has decided to step down from his position in the women’s sports industry. “As you know, I removed myself from Thorns decision-making, yet, in order for the organization to move forward and unite, I feel that another step is necessary,” he said in a statement
Unfortunately, this does not solve the problem, as the new CEO is not guaranteed to respond any better to this scandal or others that may follow. Whoever the new CEO may be, players and the fans need to know that abuse like this will be answered with swift action. Paulson should have fired Riley for his behavior towards the women he coaches when these accounts first came to his attention.
His failure amplified this scandal and contributes to a dynamic of abuse that keeps repeating itself.
This type of behavior is way too common in the world of women’s sports, as can be seen in a long history of scandals. According to reporting by Kevin Draper of the New York Times, “A yearlong investigation found U.S. Soccer executives, N.W.S.L. owners and coaches at all levels of American soccer had turned a blind eye toward years of reports of abuse from players. One coach called in a player to review a game film and showed her pornography instead. Another was notorious at the highest levels of women’s soccer for alternately berating his players and then quizzing them about their sex lives.”
These are but a few examples of the abuse male coaches enact on female players in the world of women’s soccer. There need to be more background checks in the hiring of coaches, and the performance of coaches afterward needs to be monitored better. Perhaps there would be less corruption and abuse if there was more transparency and the public had open knowledge about potential future coaches and their performance as rated by peers.
Thorns support groups known collectively under the banner 107IST wrote on Twitter last Tuesday, “While we were prepared for the worst, nothing prepared us for what was contained in the USSF/Sally Yates report. It’s time to build a bonfire.” It is clear that both fans and players are upset.
Those in powerful positions within these organizations need to listen to the players when they report abuses of any kind. If someone comes to you and tells you they are being abused in any way by someone you hired, common sense would dictate that you at least investigate the situation.
Despite all that has happened to tarnish the team and women’s sports as a whole, more people speaking up and challenging the current system will help end this cycle of abuse and ensure that players and fans alike can enjoy their passion for the game they love. In the meantime, as the fans said, it’s time to build a bonfire.
OF THE LEADERSHIP FOR THE
THORNS NEED TO BE FIREDABOVE: ROSE RESTING UPON A SLAB OF WOOD AT PROVIDENCE PARK. ALBERTO ALONSO PUJAZON BOGANI/PSU VANGUARD BELOW: TIMBER JOEY SAWING WOOD AT PROVIDENCE PARK DURING PTFC FOR PEACE MATCH. ALBERTO ALONSO PUJAZON BOGANI/PSU VANGUARD
The gubernatorial election on Nov. 8 is just six weeks away, and recent polls show the leading Republican candidate, Christine Drazan, holding a narrow lead over the Democrat nominee, Tina Kotek. This is noteworthy as Oregon has been a historically blue state, not having seen a Republican governor since 1987. Both of our Democratic senators boast long tenures. This begs the question of why this race is even as close as it is. The first thing that comes to mind is that the Democratic voting base feels disenfranchised. Kate Brown’s popularity has seen a steep decline since she became governor in 2015, and she currently has the lowest approval rate in the country.
Brown’s tenure is marred by houselessness rising to an unprecedented rate and a botched response to COVID-19. Brown’s inefficiency when managing Oregon’s state agencies has led to widespread loss of faith from the state’s voting base.
Further, Brown has proven reactionary and incapable of making bold moves even when given the opportunity and resources to do so. An example of this tendency would be Brown’s failure to address the climate change issue in a satisfactory manner, despite having ample revenue and a supermajority in the Oregon House of Representatives. Unable to pass any substantive legislature, Brown ultimately settled for a halfhearted executive order that did not assuage core issues.
Kotek, however, is not content to settle. Kotek has been a longtime ally of outgoing Governor Brown, and people do fear that she will simply become Brown 2.0. They rightfully see the
similarities between the two women. Both are openly LGBTQ+ and both are left-wing Democrats. However, that is where the similarities end. In contrast to the personable but ineffectual Brown, Kotek gets things done, no matter the cost.
Kotek’s promising track record has been shown during her tenure as speaker of the State House, where she obtained results and passed the legislation she promised to. One notable instance came in 2019 when she was tasked to pass an unpopular public reform bill. The bill was aimed at tackling Oregon’s large outstanding pension debt, specifically giving the state more time to come up with the money. It was met with staunch resistance from two of Oregon’s largest unions—both important voting bases for Oregon Democrats. Despite both threatening to not endorse legislators who voted for the bill and the initial vote being short by two votes, Kotek worked her magic, calling several of her colleagues who disagreed with her office. While some emerged in tears, they all changed their votes and passed the bill.
To some, such actions might seem overly aggressive, but in today’s political climate, giving an inch just opens up the door for the opposition to take a mile Kotek faced this with Republican obstruction in 2021. Her current gubernatorial opponent, Drazan, tried to abuse negotiated veto-power over congressional district drawing to give Republicans an advantage. Kotek played hardball in response and rescinded Republican veto-power, choosing to shoulder the outcry instead of compromising.
Kotek also has concrete plans for Oregon’s current housing crisis, in stark contrast to her opponents Drazan and Betsy Johnson. Drazan’s plan is both brief and only tackles the housing issue from a drug policy standpoint by repealing Measure 110—a policy that decriminalized hard drugs. Putting those experiencing houselessness into jail is hardly the solution here.
Kotek comes forward with an actionable plan with clear timeframes of when and how she would execute them after taking office. While none of the three plans the candidates have proposed will be a magical solution to the ongoing housing crises, Kotek’s plan is the only one that doesn’t come off as empty politician talk, where many words are spoken but none are said.
It must be said that while Kotek and Brown’s alliance might not have proven as fruitful as we would have hoped, the failures of Brown’s tenure cannot be placed on Kotek’s doorstep. Governor Brown was the person who carried out executive policy, while Kotek was just the one who pushed hopeful policy through. On that front, during Kotek’s career as speaker of the State House, she boasted noticeable victories of preventing the government from restricting abortion access in advance of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, as well as raising Oregon’s minimum wage.
Ultimately, while Brown’s intentions were noble, they fell short due to a lack of leadership ability. Kotek has shown time and time again she has the wherewithal needed to obtain results. If elected, she is well-positioned to lead Oregon to a brighter future.
Many people had their favorite candy when going trick or treating as a kid on Halloween, but the best was always Twix. This is because when mixed in with the tiny candies, hard candies or even the toothbrush you get from your dentist neighbor, Twix stands out.
Twix combines two of the other greatest candies out there— KitKat and Snickers. Twix has the best of both worlds, with the chocolate and caramel of Snickers and the wafers of a KitKat.
This combination is why Twix is simply the best candy out there. The mix of chocolate and caramel is so creamy and the wafer gives it just enough crunch. But how does it compare against other candies?
One example might be Jolly Ranchers. These are sweet like other candies, but sucking on them takes forever. Also, Jolly Ranchers are rock-hard, so although it is possible to chew them it is difficult to do so—even if you manage to chew these hard candies you may crack your teeth if you’re not careful. With Twix this is not a problem, as instead you can just chew them and enjoy the chocolatey, caramel goodness.
The second example of a candy that just doesn’t compare to a Twix bar is those chocolate eyeballs you sometimes find during the Halloween season. This candy is really just a chocolate ball, which is boring because it’s only milk chocolate, and not very much of it at that. Twix, on the other hand, has this and much more with its previously mentioned combo of chocolate, caramel and wafers. Also, the fact that they are fashioned to look like eyes is just gross. The glorious candy bar Twix isn’t shaped like any part of the human body.
Furthermore, Twix is also a superior candy because unlike other candies, it can be enjoyed by two or more people. Despite including some allergenic ingredients, Twix has no nuts, unlike the candies Snickers, Peanut M&Ms or Almond Joy. Those with nut allergies can enjoy this chocolate bar too! This is a major plus because lots of people have an allergic reaction to nuts of any kind. In fact, 6.1 million people on earth are allergic to peanuts and 3.9 million people are allergic to tree nuts, as reported by Food Allergy Research and Education, an organization that promotes allergy awareness and advocacy.
It’s hardly a competition when it comes to the question of the best candy to get on Halloween. Whether you’re a kid trick-or-treating or an adult watching a scary movie at home, the answer is clear. Twix is truly the best candy to get on this chilling holiday. The only candy worth craving this Halloween season is Twix. What’s not to love?
NICK GATLIN
A new study published by a team of researchers at Halloween Town State University found that Halloween is “wildly overrated.”
The report, published in the journal Holiday Science Quarterly under the title “Treat or Trick?: A Comparative Study of Holiday Utility,” is a “groundbreaking scientific study into the objective characteristics of the holiday,” said lead researcher Goodman Brown. “For the first time, we can quantify the merits of each holiday in an empirical, disinterested manner.”
Researchers say they employed a 57-point analysis of each major holiday—including Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve, among others—and according to their results, Halloween ranked closer to such minor holidays as Saint Patrick’s Day and Labor Day.
“Look, I know this may come as a shock,” Brown said. “But based on the data my team has collected, Halloween should be classified as a minor holiday.”
According to the report, the researchers used a series of metrics to compare the value of various holidays, including scores out of ten for “enjoyment, sentimentality, community and tradition.”
Christmas and New Year’s Eve both received top scores for each category, while Halloween received only middling scores in each. “Halloween surprisingly only scored
a 6.84 in average enjoyment scores, which we observed was weighted by the presence of Halloween superfans,” Brown explained. “Median enjoyment was closer to four or five. Interestingly, we noted that sentimentality was negatively correlated with tradition: it appears the most fervent Halloween supporters are relatively recent converts.”
The study placed Halloween in a category the researchers dubbed the Cookout Class—holidays like Memorial Day and Independence Day that warrant a daytime gathering, but not other holiday markers such as long-distance travel or elaborate pre-holiday preparations. “Reality check: you’re not going to get on a plane to visit your family across the country for Halloween,” Brown said. “We all knew that already, but it’s nice to see it confirmed in our report.”
“This isn’t to say that I or any of the other researchers on our team have anything against Halloween,” Brown said. “I love Halloween! I take my kids trick-or-treating every year, we decorate the house with cobwebs and jacko-lanterns, the whole bit. Unfortunately, however, there seems to be no scientific basis for those celebrations.”
Vanguard editors were asked for their thoughts on this monumental study, and where they would personally rank Halloween.
Vanguard News Editor Brad Le largely agreed with the researchers’ findings, stating, “Halloween in the way it is practiced… does not make it a major holiday, in my opinion. For Christmas and Thanksgiving for example, it’s common for people to take a trip and meet with (presumably insufferable people who may spew cacophonic nonsense) family. I wouldn’t commit the same amount of effort for Halloween… I am rather ambivalent about it.”
Vanguard Opinion Editor Justin Cory took a more hostile stance to the research findings. “I fucking love Halloween,” he stated.
“Halloween is the best holiday,” he continued. “First off, it has spiritual pagan origins but is ultimately tied to the idea of the end of harvest and the metaphorical seasonal ‘death’ after a verdant spring, summer and fall. Human beings long have felt a need to commemorate their dead and acknowledge our own eventual deaths and the Halloween holiday does just this.”
When asked about these objections to their study, the researchers responded forcefully. “Are you kidding me with this shit?” Brown said in a follow-up interview, apparently agitated. “If you read our study again, you’ll clearly see that ‘death’ and ‘mortality’ rank pretty low on the ‘coolness’ scale, right? I mean, these are objective measurements here, so I don’t know
how you expect to argue the point. What, are you gonna tell me you prefer Hocus Pocus to Miracle on 34th Street? Give me a break.”
Representatives from the various holiday agencies have been quick to respond to the report’s conclusions. A spokesperson for the Christmas Bureau stated two hours after the release of the study, “We are glad to see Christmas’ place among the holidays validated by this team of researchers. Mr. Claus is very happy with these results.”
The Mayor of Halloween Town, Bogey Man, has suggested in recent days that the study may have been secretly funded by a dark money group associated with the Claus family. “I’d like to see a full financial disclosure from the researchers,” the mayor said in a statement to the press.
Rumors have swirled around the Claus family empire, with some suggesting that the Christmas patriarch plans to consolidate his holiday holdings and expand Christmas to integrate both Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve in what one holiday expert calls a “breathtaking step toward a Christmas monopoly.” The Federal Holiday Commission announced last Tuesday an investigation into the Claus Company Board of Directors, with one anonymous investigator saying Halloween “may be his next target in this war of position against the other holidays.”
Let’s set the scene. It begins with a small flower shop on Skid Row and a seemingly small and innocent plant. However, do not prick your finger too close to this plant, as its true intent may be much more sinister than appears at first glance.
For the Halloween season, Stumptown Stages is putting on the horrifying production of Little Shop of Horrors, playing until Oct. 30 at Portland’s Winningstad Theater. The show remained relatively close to the original theater production, and most of the storyline will be fairly familiar to those acquainted with the 1986 American horror comedy musical film.
In talking with the show’s director, Steve Coker, he said, “The biggest diversion for me or diversions from the classic is that I wanted to create those older characters, and I wanted them
to be more grounded. Other than that... I really just wanted to let the work speak for itself.”
Many of us are familiar with the character Ellen Greene created when she played Audrey—the ditzy blonde with an annoyingly high-pitched voice and not much character depth.
Coker wanted to change that. “I wanted to cast somebody who had life experience, who understood what loss was and understood, you know, hope and had experienced it,” he said.
“It just brings more depth to the character. She’s not some ditzy unintelligent victim. She’s a person who has landed where she’s landed and is making the best of the situation.”
When she auditioned, Coker knew this role was perfect for Tawni Peterson. “There was just something in her audition that just said this
is a person who understands tenderness, who understands loss, who understands what dreams are,” Coker said. “Everything was there. I could just feel it in her vocals. So I was like, I’m gonna cast a little older than they normally get cast.”
On stage, Peterson’s age seemingly only enhanced her talent. Her vocals were controlled and relatable, and while she did personify that ditzy character that we all know from the original, she was also more than that—she was relatable and someone the audience could easily find themselves connecting with. “A character it’s hard not to empathize with—one person, a fully formed person you can totally reach out and relate to,” Coker described.
But the switch from character to fully formed person did not stop at Audrey. The role of Seymour Krelborn, played by Jason
Hays, was also intentionally made to be a more fully formed character. As Coker said, “he just had a sincerity about him, and I thought, you know, there is an innate sense of humor and goofiness, but it doesn’t go over the top and into cartoon.”
It was true that Hays’ personification of Seymour allowed for the nostalgia to remain, as his performance and especially his body language was still reminiscent of an ‘80s movie, but without being so extreme that an audience member couldn’t see themselves responding that way. The original leaned into the comedy with the over-the-top character dramatizations that often detract from the character development, but Hays’ and Peterson’s performances allowed both to exist in the same space.
Of course, there is always one character that you can’t and probably shouldn’t take the crazy out of, and that is Orin Scrivello, the dentist and Audrey’s abusive boyfriend, played by Dustin Fuentes. Maybe it was the realism of the other two leads in stark contrast to Orin’s insanity, but his performance was more terrifying and maniacal than the movie’s portrayal.
While the horror of this movie comes in the man-eating plant with its connection to the supernatural and all its other references to the elements of classic horror, what is probably more horrific is the reality of people like Orin. He is relatable in the worst kinds of ways, and that is the best for horror. “I knew that once he locks in and commits to something, there’s greatness that’s going to come out of it,” Coker pointed out regarding Fuentes. “I trusted that... I think he became this maniacal yet relatable monster.”
Fuentes played Orin, but he also played seven additional supporting characters. “Every one of those characters that he plays is a con man,” Coker said. “I kinda always thought in my head, it was like, yeah, they are different characters, but they’re all being played by the same person, and there are some similarities across the board.”
This was perhaps my only issue with this production—having Fuentes play a female character and other characters who were disabled. In the theater, this common practice (although increasingly less so) is frequently excused by citing budgeting, whether in the original or current version, and essentially stating, “that is just how it has always worked.”
According to an article published by the Harvard Political Review, “One in four American adults has a disability of some kind, making them the largest minority in the country, yet they are also the least represented in the performing arts field: Ninety-five percent of disabled characters are played by able-bodied actors.”
Additionally, this author has pointed out in a past Vanguard theater piece that despite the tradition of men playing women’s roles from ancient times, it often problematically references a woman’s place in that given society as inferior or not worthy of self-representation.
In his defense, Coker pointed out that the production had gone above and beyond to cast a diverse cast. “It’s hard in Portland, too, sometimes to casting, you know, black actresses,” he said. “We had a hard time finding three that were available or interested in doing the show.”
Additionally, he pointed out that they even hired a disabled actress. “We had a young girl in the cast who has a disability, and it was really fun to watch her bloom and blossom in the show,” he said.
Ultimately, Coker hoped that playgoers have a good time at the show. “I’m not interested in trying to necessarily educate people or to, you know, pull the mirror up to people’s faces, and what I want is for people to be entertained, and we need that right now,” Coker said. “So I hope that people... just enjoy the absurdity of a giant man-eating plant from outer space.”
Imagine a Halloween costume that you’ve always wanted. But not just any costume that can easily be bought with disposable fabric, or is merely a one-time use—a costume that is made with a vision and with longevity in mind. A movie set costume designer might come to mind, because they have the ability to create a costume with the exact design in mind. But what if you actually had to wear the costume? Perhaps a bespoke suitmaker might actually be the service that you are looking for.
While primarily known for making bespoke suits—garments that are made specially for a single client that are meant to perfectly fit their body—Portland-based business Wildwood & Company has done a few costume projects based on the design of the suit.
Bespoke is a term meant to describe the craft of creating something perfectly fitted to a client. Bespoke shoes, for example, are designed after measuring the client’s feet and individually made to not only perfectly fit their feet, but also to suit the vision the client had in mind for the shoe. The exact same principles apply to bespoke suitmaking, where the tailor will measure the client’s body and produce a suit to the request of the client’s desires.
However, bespoke creation is an extremely laborious process with a long turnaround to finish, and it commands a premium price. Most importantly, however, is that bespoke garments are always meant to have an air of practicality, in that the object being made must still have a functional purpose. A bespoke costume must still be able to be worn, and more importantly be able to move correctly and comfortably.
Joe Mueller, the founder of Wildwood & Company, created the company with the desire to provide a high quality service. Wildwood & Company does not advertise heavily into the costume design aspect of bespoke creation, but has completed a few commissioned pieces of bespoke costumes, such as a Santa Claus costume.
“I think people who are interested in bespoke anything such as a bespoke costume should first ask themselves ‘why?’” Mueller said. “If you have an interest in the fit, the high quality and the learning experience of how bespoke clothing is made then that is a great reason that we are happy to pursue with you.”
Mueller also pointed out that there are some important considerations that people take when talking to a bespoke tailor, such as what they hope to accomplish. “The first thing that we would discuss with the client is even if such a vision can be accomplished within the realm of bespoke suiting,” he said.
KELSEY ZUBERBUEHLER“We work with many talented artisans in the Portland area from shoemakers in Spain and we are well connected. If we cannot accommodate the garment that you want then we can refer you to another who could help you.”
“A client, for example, might be seeking to recreate the costume of a villain and that villain’s costume may have comically pointed
shoulders,” Mueller continued. “That is something that us bespoke tailors would not really be a great choice for. However, we can discuss how close we can get to that vision and what detail is really sought after. For example, perhaps we cannot match the shoulders exactly to what that villain had, but maybe it is the belt or the color that the client is looking for, then that is something we can do.”
This doesn’t mean that bespoke is merely about the look and fit. Bespoke tailoring, like any specialized profession, is also a job of problem solving for the client. Mueller recalled a past client who required a unique solution for a vision that they had in mind. The client had requested a white outfit, which in and of itself is not unusual. However, what made the bespoke project a
memorable challenge was that the client was also dressing as a blue alien with heavy makeup on the neck and the hands, which would make direct contact with the white fabric and may stain them. Mueller’s team suggested that an effective solution to deal with this unique problem would be to make multiple replaceable collars and cuffs and switch them out as needed while the stained collars and cuffs are cleaned.
In addition to problem solving, Mueller said that Wildwood & Company also takes great pride in working on the little details.
“We did commission work for a bespoke leather jacket once and we meticulously picked out the best zipper for it,” he said.
“It would be a shame to complement a leather jacket that costs thousands of dollars to only pair it with a cheap zipper.”
Mueller noted how important these details are. “Think about the trousers and whether it uses buttons or zippers to close the trouser when you put it on,” he said. “That’s the one part of the trouser that you are going to be interacting with the most. Most outside onlookers will only see the beautiful fabric or the fit, but aim to think about the inside and the inner functions of our products as well as the client does.”
“Really, the key consideration that all clients should remember is to just be open-minded,” Mueller said. “The most expensive fabric isn’t always the one that is best for you or the best for your budget. We command a premium price and a long turnaround for our bespoke garments. A client that is open to our suggestions and ideas is the best for everyone.”
