16 j a n u a r y 1 7 , 2 0 1 3
SCHUSTER F ROM PAGE 13
wonderfully diverse people on this campus. I learned another valuable lesson on the playground when a boy started a “Twitchy” chant with a group of his friends. Not knowing what else to do, I joined in. “Twitchy! Twitchy! Twitchy!” Eventually, they realized the original mission of the chant had been twisted and we were now just a bunch of 10-year-olds screaming the same word. They all kind of stopped awkwardly at the same time, not really knowing how to reinstate the bully attempt. So if you can’t beat them, join them, and make them really uncomfortable so you end up winning anyway. I’ve always assumed I would use this tactic if I lost all of my friends tragically and was forced to join a sorority. Except I don’t know
pul p @ da ilyor a nge.com
if it would count as winning if during Kappa Kappa Gamma’s chant I was the only one who knew I was being ironic. And yes, I’m assuming I would get into Kappa Kappa Gamma. Hit me up girls, I’m a blondie from Connecticut. One pivotal day, my math teacher, Mr. English (real name), thought it would be helpful to point out my twitching in front of the whole class. “Are you twitching?” he asked me. All non-twitching eyes were on me. My classmates knew damn well that I was twitching, but what they couldn’t predict was how I was going to react. “No,” I said. Then, I stared. I stared and I stared and I thought to myself, ‘Don’t twitch, don’t twitch, don’t twitch.’ After what felt like a lifetime but what was probably 20 seconds, my teacher said, “OK,” and continued with his lesson. Since then I’ve never underestimated the
power of my thoughts. During a test: Don’t fail, don’t fail. During a conversation: Don’t laugh at his lisp, don’t laugh at his lisp. In a public place: Don’t adjust your strapless bra, don’t adjust your strapless bra. But the biggest thing I’ve learned about standing out during the worst possible time was that it really didn’t matter. Everything my peers thought was a reaction of what I did. So if I said it wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t a big deal. What I’m really saying is, we’re all friends here. As a humor columnist and, presumably, the ultimate judge of all of you for the sake of (hopefully) obtaining some laughter, it’s only fair you have something to hold against me. The scale might be tipped slightly in your favor. Sarah Schuster is a sophomore magazine journalism major. Her column will appear weekly in Pulp for the spring 2013 semester. She can be reached at seschust@syr.edu.
PERSPECTIVES by avery hartmans | asst. copy editor photos by sam maller | asst. photo editor
What were the best and worst classes of the first week?
“History of archeology, it’s a huge lecture. It’s not really that engaging. We’ve only had the introduction to the course, but so far it’s dull and it sucks the life out of you.”
Jose Blanco
SOPHOMORE TELEVISION, RADIO AND FILM AND PHILOSOPHY MAJOR
“My favorite class is Social Work 315. The professor seems really, really nice.”
Jessica Ciemniecki
SOPHOMORE SOCIAL WORK MAJOR
“PSC 124 – I did find myself falling asleep in class today. I found that boring today; the first day it was fun, though. And my most favorite is Mexico and the United States.”
Alexis Pratt
JUNIOR INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS AND COMMUNICATIONS AND RHETORICAL STUDIES MAJOR
“My favorite class so far has been Organic Chemistry II because the professor is so energetic, and my least favorite class is one of my forensics classes because the professor couldn’t be any more boring.”
Anna Moss
JUNIOR CHEMISTRY AND FORENSICS MAJOR