Se p t e m be r 6 , 2012
chic SHALL T
OUTRAGEOUSNESS gua r a n teed
volume 7 issue 131
we ather
page 2
98.6 and melting
Fa s h i o n ’ s Fa u x e s t N e w s S o u r c e * c h i c s h a l l o t. c o m
h ig h l ig h t s HEALTH
American Psychiatric Association defines “listlessness” and “existential malaise” as warning signs of newly-recognized syndrome “FNO Fatigue,” 5A
CULTURE
Nobody more mystified by Iris Apfel’s sudden ubiquitousness than Iris Apfel, 3C
i n s i de BOOKS
Grace Coddingon’s Memoir Expected to Contain Only Trace Amounts of Anna Wintour, 9H
Chaos at Vera Wang Over Evan Lysacek and The Daily (LOS ANGELES) “I haven’t been featured in The Daily since that piece about my pizzamaking skills!” exclaimed a visibly frustrated Vera Wang, who swore off the stuff after the aforementioned article ran in fashion’s favorite glossy back in 2004. After seeing Christian Cota featured on a recent Daily cover alongside skating sensation Oksana Baiul, Wang has decamped to her manse in Los Angeles to train, and just perhaps, return to Daily dominance. In addition to turning her infinity pool into an ice rink—at considerable expense—she also hired Evan Lysacek as a live-in “consultant,” angering her best friend and CEO Mario Grauso. The two are working around the clock on a “postmodern interpretation” of “Puttin’ on the Ritz.” Grauso, who expected to be picked as Wang’s partner, is said to be plotting his revenge with a rival routine, going so far as to pluck Nancy Kerrigan out of retirement.
IMG Models Forms Pet Division, Hollywood and Humans Alarmed (NEW YORK) After a veritable feeding frenzy around his agency’s new It Girl, Choupette Lagerfeld, IMG Models head Ivan Bart has announced the agency’s new division, “Furries.” “Abyssinians, Chausies, Spinone Italiano, Vizlas, Lhasa Apsos— come one, come all!,” IMG’s Bart told the Shallot. He’s specifically looking for animals with “range” and “versatility between editorial and advertising.” “I can promise you friendly handlers, healthy snacks, and very private bathrooms.” Glamour editor Cindi Leive, whose May cover featuring a young beagle (and Lauren Conrad) was the mag’s strongest newsstand performer of 2012, is said to be overjoyed. But Glenda Bailey, who prides herself on breaking new ground, is taking the concept even further, eschewing human cover models entirely as part of her new redesign. Lady Gaga, who had previously been booked for Bazaar’s November cover, is said to be coping as best she can.
LIFESTYLE
“I’ve cleaned up my act!” says Marc Jacobs, Stepping Out With Anderson Cooper; Gloria Vanderbilt Said to be “Overjoyed,” 22B
FURRIES Jordyn
Hollie
p aris
Anja
Cintia
m ila n
Claude
Famke
Lekeline
Your Social Media Imprint is “Bullsh*t,” Survey Finds (NEW YORK) In a move that’s sure to create slashed budgets at the city’s toniest publishing houses, an independent McKinsey study has found that approximately 62 percent of the Twitter accounts that appear to follow every Tweet by the nation’s top glossies and industry personalities are manned by very chipper-sounding bots. “Turns out that only 3 percent of your followers are real people,” said McKinsey’s Judd Dred, who managed the survey. And the news gets worse—a mere 0.8 percent of fashion-obsessed Twitter types are over age and have successfully moved out of mom and dad’s basement. “What’s wrong with marketing luxury goods to these people,” huffed one editrix, who doesn’t use social media herself but definitely has a team to handle all that. “We’re all about aspirational!”
Alyona
ne w york
FA S H I O N W E E K D A I L Y. C O M p h oto i l l u s t r at i o n s : b fa N YC . c o m ( 5 ) ; getty images (6); shutterstock (13)