CR Wash Surveyor Nov. 2015

Page 1

Volume 59

Issue 3

20 November 2015

Who is Officer Paisar? (Pgs. 10-11) United Way (Pg. 6)

Looking Back After Loss (Pg. 14)

Star Wars Review (Pg. 20)


Addi Westpheling

Anna Rizer

Betsy Smith

Billy Lemos

Brandon Cullen

Emily Burke

Emily LaGrange

Grace Kline

Gillian Gannon

Jonathan Melander

Matthew Andersland

Molly Hunter

Rielle Jones-Teske

Sam Wicke

Sarah Altemeier

Tyler McGuire

The Surveyor Staff wishes you a happy Thanksgiving!

Gunnar Bosking

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Staff box

Multimedia Editor

Emma Nassif Rielle Jones-Teske


What’s Inside: mission

News

Keystone XL Pipeline - 4 How Not to Die on Black Friday - 5 Wash Overbudget - 5 Charitable Teachers - 6

Black Friday Blues - 7 Bacon Bro - 7 The Good/Bad of Semesters - 8 Wash Mobile Site Makes Me Sad - 8 Thanksgiving Break - 9

Officer Paiser - 10-11

Sauer^2 - 13 Some Wish For It, Warriors Work For It - 14 FBOM - 15 ClareBOYant - 15

Cubs Don’t Suck - 16 Hawkeyes Undefeated - 17 Winter Sports Preview - 17

Winter Driving - 19 Scream Queens Review - 19 Star Wars Review - 20 Empire Review - 21 Fall Playlist - 21

Opinion

Feature

Profiles

Sports A&E

Backpage

Roses and Thorns MOM Faculty Funnies Playlist

Back Cover

Warrior Time Activity

The Surveyor is established as a school-sponsored designated forum dedicated to informing and entertaining its readers. The staff will report as fairly and well-balanced as possible. All activities and news will be covered to the best of the staff ’s ability. The Surveyor accepts the Society of Professional Journalist’s Code of Ethics as the basis for good journalism. Readers are encouraged to express their viewpoints through guest editorial. The Surveyor also welcomes letters to the editor, with these guidelines: it is no libelous or obscene, it explains the material clearly, it is not longer than 500 words, and that it is signed.

non-discrimination policy

It is the policy of the Cedar Rapids Community School District not to illegally discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, religion, creed, age (employment only, marital status, sexual orientation, gender identity, and socioeconomic status (students/program only) in its educational programs and its employment practices. There is a grievance procedure for processing complaints of discrimination. District employees with questions or a grievance related to this policy should contact Jill Cirivello, Director of Human Resources, 319-558-2421; jcirivello@cr.k12.ia.us. Students and others should contact Rhoda Shepard, Director of Student Services, 319-558-2964; rshephard@cr.k12.ia.us. The District mailing address is 2500 Edgewood Rd NW, Cedar Rapids, IA 52405-1015

affiliations

Iowa High School Press Association, National Scholastic Press Association, Journalism Education Association, Quill and Scroll.

CORRECTIONS In the last issue we interviewed Trace Pickering about Iowa BIG. We misidentified him as Terry Pickering, and as associate superindendent of BIG. He is the associate superintendent of CRCSD.

Front cover photo by Kyle Phillips Back cover activity by Grace Kline

Rielle Jones-Teske

Photos Editor

Table of Contents

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Keystone Killed Obama Rejects Keystone Pipeline XL Matthew Andersland Staff Reporter On Friday, Nov. 6, President Barack Obama rejected the proposed construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline, a pipeline which would take oil across over 1,200 miles from Canadian oil sands to as far south as Texas and the Gulf Coast. The construction of this pipeline had been very controversial for a long time, as it would lower gas prices and cause the U.S. to no longer rely on oil from the Middle East, but at the same time, the pipeline itself was a major environmental concern. JP Graham, the AP Environmental Science teacher at Washington, who was against the construction of the pipeline, said that it was the right move to make. “Getting oil through a pipeline is really rough on the environment, because all pipelines break, and it is going to happen at some point in time,” Graham said. Much of the land that the pipeline would have been going under as it crossed the nation is very nice land, and lots of areas of it contain terrain that would be very difficult to construct the pipeline under, or fix should it eventually be in

need of repairs. “If you truly want to become energy independent, then you don’t need a pipeline. People can be more efficient with their driving and car manufacturers can produce more fuel efficient cars,” Graham said to counter the argument that the pipeline will be making an energy independent nation.

public statements saying that Obama made the wrong choice, criticising him for rejecting the proposal stating that it would have created jobs and been fine for the environment. Also, some liberals did not like this decision including newly elected Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau. Trudeau, a liberal, stated that he is disappointed with the decision, but still looks forward to working with Obama.

Photo CC by Ekabhishek

Another reason Graham believes that Obama made the right choice by rejecting this proposal is when Obama was originally ran for President in 2008, his platform had a definite environmental push. If he were to have accepted this proposal then he would have been going against something that he had supported when people were voting him into office. The conservative response to the rejection of the bill was, for the most, part negative. Many right-wing political candidates and members of congress made

Graham believes that people need to make a conscious effort to live more energy efficient lifestyles. “If gas prices are cheaper than people will just keep doing what they are doing, we need to re-evaluate our lives and make a change for the better,” said Graham.

Photo CC by Brylie Oxley

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News

News Editor

Emily LaGrange


Stop Copying!

Betsy Smith Webmaster

Sam Wicke Staff Reporter A review over last year’s budget flagged that as a school, we are slightly above $30,000 over budget. The largest contributor to this issue was copying fees and expenses. Copying content here at Washington High School costs more than if it were sent to the district copying service. Naturally, being over budget requires finding a solution and pinpointing specific contributing areas. Solutions to issues of this sort involve making cuts. Valerie Nyberg, Washington’s Associate Principal, has reported that some might have to be made but certain areas have not yet been identified. “The goal would be to conserve funds wherever we can that won’t impact day to day student and teacher activity,” said Nyberg. The next step is to institute a limit for students so they are only allowed to print an established amount of pages at any single time. Automatically having your papers printed double-sided is one result of the efforts being taken to cut back on overprinting. Some teachers have shifted more of Emily LaGrange

How Not to Die on Black Friday

their printing to the district copying service, where they either have to get it themselves, or it’s mailed here, depending on the situation. Printing to the district copying center poses a few inconveniences for teachers. A major one includes teachers not being able to have materials if it’s something they planned last minute. Being $30,000 over budget is relatively better than previous years, but it can be improved through smarter copying habits. So make sure to be more conservative with your printing, because you could be directly affecting your own school.

News Editor

~Bring a SWAT team to push your way in (find your perfect team at 1-800- RENT-ASWAT) ~Wear a full suit of armor for bodily protection ~Watch out for the old people and soccer moms - they bite Start krav maga training 4-6 months in advance ~Bring someone to drive the cart (and the getaway car) ~Go naked to save time when trying things on ~Start camping out in front of the store in October to ensure you’re first in line ~Have your Thanksgiving dinner in front of said store, deals come before family ~Wear your heelys - speed is key ~ Don’t shower for 6 weeks, your stench will keep other shoppers away ~ Best of all, DON’T GO

News

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Charitable Teachers

Molly Hunter Editor-in-Chief Every year, Cedar Rapids Community Schools hold a districtwide fundraiser to collect money to donate to United Way, Community Health Charities, and the Cedar Rapids Community Schools Foundation (CRCSF). District employees are invited to donate at their own discretion. Brittany Carney and Michelle Koelling, Confidential Secretaries at the Human Resources Department in the Educational Leadership and Support Center (ELSC), are in charge of organizing the fundraising campaign. “We communicate directly with the principals... and CC their bosses as well. We then have Dr. Buck, our superintendent, write an email that goes out to…anybody who’s got a district email address,” said Koelling. “We do send an email out to the [ELSC] staff saying…drop your donation forms off here to HR, if you have any questions, need any more brochures, to see us. That would pretty much be the same role the principals under the building secretaries would have at their… schools,” Koelling said. “We let each principal campaign on their own.” In past years, Washington High School staff members have routinely risen over $20,000 for the United Way campaign. “We encourage people to start small,” said Washington’s principal, Dr. Ralph Plagman. “If you’ve never given, I say ‘Give a buck of pay’. That’s $26 a year. You’ll never miss that… Most of them might go two bucks. Then once you start, each we ask them to consider maybe up a buck or a couple bucks. Pretty soon, you’re at a very responsible level.” “I’ve been in my job forever,” Plagman added, “so I’ve built up a lot of political capital and a lot of credibility. Longevity helps.” Washington’s annual employee participation has also remained high, between 55 and 45 percent since 2012. Emily LaGrange

News Editor

“We believe in United Way,” said Plagman. “What would this community be without a Y, or a Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, or area substance abuse council…?” From 2012 to 2014, ELSC numbers have also held steady, with dollars risen having stayed around $13,000, making the ELSC the second highest contributor in 2013 and 2014. Meanwhile, ELSC staff participation has consistently been one of the lowest in the district, at about 10 percent. “A lot of our employees here travel to different buildings,” Carney explained. “We just overall don’t have a lot of employees here, per say. We have the transportation employees, and they don’t generally donate.” The transportation employees make up about half of the ELSC’s population. “I think when I sent out the [fundraiser] email I had 221 recipients... transportation alone—bus drivers and attendants—are another 200… But there’s a whole bunch more that aren’t getting it either, because they don’t have an email address or they’ve never accessed it,” said Koelling. However, as Koelling pointed out, “[Fundraiser] numbers are gonna flux from year to year… People retire… When you have some key donors at a school who contribute thousands of dollars, once they retire, that is hard money to replace.” “And then you have younger people coming in, and they have a tighter budget, and they’re making less,” Carney added. The district has been holding its annual campaign, “...for as long as I can remember,” said Plagman. In recent years, however, some things about the process have changed. For one thing, said Koelling, “This year was our first E-Pledge year, where everything was electronic.” Prior to 2012, only

United Way and Community Health Charities benefited from the annual campaign. “It was in Board policy that we had to support the two [charities]... The Cedar Rapids Foundation had done their own [fundraiser], and then when we looked at the Board policy to realize we could include them in our annual, we went up to the three charities.” Also, until three years ago the district used to have a dollar amount—a goal. “When we went to the three charities, we no longer had a specific dollar amount goal,” said Koelling. Another factor, Carney mentioned, could have something to do with this year’s staff raises. “The money increase that we get for our whole staff, across the district, comes from the state level; it’s public funds. That was a very visible argument this year with what Governor Branstad did with that…staff increase… That can also trickle down and affect how much our staff gives,” said Koelling. “They got slightly lower increases this year than past years,” Carney explained. “Across the board this year it was about a one percent increase in salary, and our administrators got none,” Koelling said. Typically, she explained, “it can range—I’d say anywhere from one to three percent. But when you look at the private sector—I mean, people at Aegon or Rockwell, a normal raise for them could be anywhere from four to seven percent…. There’s less disposable income there, you’ve got cost of living going up, and then raises at that point aren’t even keeping up with cost of living. So it’s a very delicate line we try to stay to suggest people donate, or donate more.”

News

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Black Friday Blues Jillian Gannon Staff Writer Black Friday is pretty much the only day where I’m comfortable waking up at 3 a.m to wait outside a store in the cold. It’s perfect for cheapskates like me because I can buy almost all of the Christmas presents I’m getting for other people at a discounted price. I used to use the ads in the newspaper to decide what to get (obviously), but also to decide what store to camp out in front of. This year, like the years before, has been different. It’s not worth it to go out to stores on Thanksgiving day just to wait. After all, Thanksgiving shouldn’t be seen as the start of Black Friday sales. It’s called Black Friday—it should start on Friday, as it was intended to when it first started. It was more fun when I could wake up really early and go wait in front of a store to try and get the earliest great deals than when the sales go on for a long time and aren’t as good.

I’ve become increasingly more angry at Black Friday across the years because most stores are opening on Thanksgiving, or having ‘Black week’ and not actually starting on Black Friday. I remember when stores used to open at 4 or 5 a.m., but

now the stores open at midnight, daytime on Thanksgiving, or even the week before. Now stores have hundreds of deals online that are available to members or anyone who happens to look...and they’re all available the week or two before Black Friday. Honestly, making Black Friday start earlier takes the fun out of going. Starting ear-

lier infringes upon Thanksgiving, which is when you’re supposed to stay home with your families and feast. Who knows, maybe you enjoy going to Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving night or afternoon. But imagine if you worked at one of those stores, or if your family did. A family isn’t complete without everyone there. And what happens to those whose families all work except one person? That person’s just going to be left alone because the stores made their workers come back in on their day off. Most people who work get a day off for Thanksgiving because they’re expected to spend it with their families and/or their friends. There isn’t a holiday for the store workers, who have to leave their families to work on Thanksgiving. Think about that this year, when you go shopping for Black Friday on Thanksgiving. Think about the people you’re taking away from their families because you can’t wait another day. graphics by ecx.images-amazon.com eyeonmobility.com and rackcdn.com

BACON BRO Anna Rizer Opinions Editor This is not OK. I was having a good day, on my way to go get a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a shake on the side, when someone turned to me and said ‘you know there is a new study out that says bacon gives you cancer’...what?! In a study completed by the American Institute for Cancer Research, they found that 1.7 ounces of processed meat that is consumed daily (that is only less than two strips of bacon!), your chances of getting colorectal cancer increase by 21 percent. The Physicians Committee for Responsible Anna Rizer

Medicine also stated that bacon: 1.) Raises risk of early death by 44 percent 2.) Increases risk of diabetes by 41 percent 3.) Reduces sperm quality (...what?) 4.) Raises risk of prostate cancer by 10 percent 5.) Increases stroke risk by 13 percent 6.) Doubles risk of dying from heart failure 7.) Leads to weight gain 8.) Increases bladder cancer by 33 percent There may be many people who are

Opinions Editor

thankful for this study, but as you can imagine, this put quite a damper on my craving to go to Red Robin and get a bacon cheeseburger. However, my love for bacon cannot be hindered. My cravings are inconquerable, despite all the facts given. So while the facts are somewhat disconcerting, and many may be adjusting their diet due to this or going full vegetarian or vegan, you’ll find me eating away the sorrows with a stack of bacon and a side of burger. Bacon is love. Bacon is life.

Opinions

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The Good and Bad of Semesters

Students Disagree About the Change from Trimesters to Semesters for the 2015-16 School Year Beginning this year, the Cedar Rapids Community School District switched their school year schedules from trimesters (three terms) to semesters (two terms). This has been a point of controversy among students as there are definite pros and cons to having semesters instead of trimesters. Some students find it to be an inferior alternative. “I think [semesters are] more of a con considering we have finals the week after Christmas break and that we don’t get a full week of Thanksgiving,” Olivia Kennedy said, ’19. Other students are appreciative of the

Emily LaGrange News Editor

change of pace. “I think that semesters are a good thing because now we only have two finals instead of three so hopefully that will lessen my stress level during the school year a little bit,” Kahner Cleveland said, ’17. While some find themselves frustrated over the lack of a fall break, others feel the extensive winter break makes up for it. “... since I’m a senior that means I only have to take finals once this year. Also, we get a longer Christmas break,” Molly Fox said, ’16, who is pro-semesters. The change in organization has gotten a responsive reaction from many students

as well. “I like semesters because I think there’s not as many things to worry about, like having only two finals. Also, the division of three terms makes it messier and things are more organized in halves,” Julia Carlson said, ’18. Many enjoy the switch to semesters due to the similarities it poses among college schedules. “...It lines up with schedules of other school districts and colleges,” Andy O’Neill said, ’17, who is pro-semesters.

Wash Mobile Site Makes Me Sad Gunnar Bosking Sports Editor Washington High School students need information a lot of the time. A good source for that is their school’s website, where there are links to PowerSchool, Canvas (like we use it anyway), and Office 365. In year’s past, the mobile version of the Wash website was very user-friendly, enabling easy access and easy ways of getting around. Then came the fateful day last year, where all sites in the district where changed into sad excuses for web pages in the attempt to make them all look the same. It’s because of changes like this that that I have so much trouble if I want to just quickly check my grades. According to school technology specialist Scott McWherter, the reason for the changes were simple. “Because the old Website had been hacked or had had attempts at being hacked, the district felt the need to change the websites to one server, instead of our old one in Colorado, to one single server so that it would be easier to protect in case it got hacked again,” McWherter said. Webmaster Jason Wood isn’t exactly a fan either. “I don’t love how the mobile site template is set up. It definitely isn’t an improvement on the old one,” Wood said. It also doesn’t exactly help when I’m trying to find a teacher’s email, and trying to find the list of emails is actually impossible. My suggestion to the district: you don’t need to change the fact that all the websites in the district are the same, you should just put in a some work to make it not feel like a chore just to check Canvas (which still sucks too). 8

Opinions

Opinions Editor

Anna Rizer


Staff Editorial

Hatin’ The Shortened Thanksgiving Break It’s about this time of year that we all start thinking about pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, a week-long Thanksgiving break… wait a minute. As you may or may not have noticed, the Cedar Rapids Community School District has changed our Thanksgiving Break to be only three school days long instead of the full week, for several reasons. The biggest one was that it just didn’t make a lot of sense to keep a week-long break at Thanksgiving since our school district has now switched to semesters. The first trimester always finished right before the week of Thanksgiving, whereas the first semester is not over until January. Also, many elementary school parents were complaining about the full week break: they didn’t want to pay for daycare Monday through Wednesday of the week while they were still at work, according to the District Calendar Committee Facilitator, Laurel Day, during a phone interview.

This year, those two days have been added on to Winter Break. But, since they are labeled on the calendar as potential snow make-up days, this “add-on” to Winter Break could easily be snatched away if the District were to declare a snow day before then. Our now three-day-long Thanksgiving Break no longer corresponds with college break, which is, in most cases, the full week. Now kids with family and friends in college will have less time to be able to spend with them because we are stuck in school. It’s ironic that we are being prevented from seeing our families on a break for the holiday that revolves around spending time with one’s family. Families that usually travel during Thanksgiving Break to see their relatives will have to decide which is more important: family or school. Either the families will be forced to take no vacation or a shorter vacation, or their children will

have to miss school so that they can still go on their full vacation, and the students will have to worry about their make-up work over break. Some might argue that since the Cedar Rapids School District is now on semesters instead of trimesters, it makes sense that Thanksgiving Break is shorter. But we, the Surveyor staff, feel that even though students have not just finished studying for finals, they still deserve a week-long break to have a rest from school. After all, this is the first long break since school began three MONTHS ago. Students still need the full break in order to perform their best and finish the semester strong. In the end, no matter what the school year calendar looks like, it will be impossible to please everyone. But we feel that more people would have been pleased if Thanksgiving Break had been kept as the full week like it always has been. cc johnny_automatic and Pippi2011 and graphic courtesy of twitter.com

7 out of 10 Editors Agree With this editorial Do you agree? Tweet us @ crwashsurveyor and visit crwashsurveyor.com to vote on other polls

Anna Rizer

Opinions Editor

Opinions

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Photo by Kyle Phillips

Officer Thaddeus Paiser School Cop, Bike Cop, and Sniper Extraordinare 10


Brandon Cullen Sports Editor January 17, 2011, a School Resource Officer (SRO) was placed at Washington High School; his name is Thaddeus Paiser. According to Dr. Ralph Plagman, Wash got a SRO because it was a national trend, and most of the big schools of any demographic were receiving SROs in the past 20 years. Here in Cedar Rapids, Jefferson was the first high school to get an officer at their school. Dr. Plagman was the most reluctant about getting an officer here at Wash. He didn’t want one because he didn’t want to make it seem like Wash was unsafe. First, the district decided to require SROs in their schools. Then, due to the occurrence of several unfortunate events at our school, Plagman was convinced that it was finally time that we got a SRO. Plagman was given a choice in deciding whether or not Wash should bring an SRO, and he now believes that Paiser brings information in from the police department about events in the neighborhood. He brings information about what’s happening here at Wash. Also, he makes everyone feel safer. He even makes Plagman himself feel safer here at Wash. “He’s been great. He is not a throw-themdown-and-handcuff-them [officer]. He is a good communicator, and is good with the students,” said Plagman when asked about Officer Paiser’s role here at Wash. Officer Paiser hasn’t always been a police officer, however. He became a part-time teacher after college, then went to Iowa City, trying to think of what to do for a career. His friend and his friend’s wife said he would make a good cop, and at the time they were both into the television show C.O.P.S. For Paiser, the police academy was challenging, both mentally and physically. The academy consisted of a lot of classroom

time. He comments that it was a lot like going back to college. The academy teaches you everything that you need to know in order to become a police officer, imparting skills having to do with communication techniques, the law, firearms, and self-defense techniques. Paiser wanted to become a school resource officer so he would be able to combine his education from college with his job as a police officer. He was a patrol officer for 7 and a half years before becoming a SRO. Washington is the first and only school that he has been placed in, and when the time came to give him a position as an SRO, he was able to chose Wash over Kennedy. During the summer, since he can’t be a school resource officer, he is a bike patrol officer, a job which he has been doing since

ally, he spends this time with his family. When you go through the police academy, every officer has to be pepper-sprayed and tazed, so they know what it feels like when that happens to someone, and also so they don’t abuse these non-lethal tools, since they can cause excruciating pain. Officer Paiser was pepper-sprayed halfway through his time at the academy, and, since the academy didn’t have tasers when he was there, he was tased in 2008. He says the pepper spray was uncomfortable; it has a burning sensation, and you can’t keep your eyes open. The taser wasn’t too painful, but it was an extreme aggravation, especially since you couldn’t do anything about your condition, due to the paralysis that occurs upon being tased. The most impactful thing that has happened to Paiser while he has been working at Wash is that a former student who attended Wash wrote a paper in college about Paiser. This student, prior to attending Wash and meeting Paiser, had thought that he was just another cop who arrested people, and gave them tickets out of spite. Through her interactions with Paiser, however, this student realized that he has a family, and is a real person; that he isn’t just a stereotype looking to get you into trouble. Paiser had changed her view about cops. She even ended up getting her degree in order to become a paramedic. The most dangerous encounter for Paiser was when he was the first officer to arrive at the scene of a homicide. He was called in just after the shooting had occurred, and, unfortunately, when he arrived there were still several suspects walking around. “I’ve enjoyed my time here at Wash and I’m glad to be a Warrior with the students,” said Paiser.

“I’ve enjoyed my time here at Wash and I’m glad to be a Warrior with the students.”

Molly Hunter

2005. Paiser has also been a member of the Cedar Rapids Strategic Response Team (SRT) for 10 years, and has been a sniper and team leader on the SRT for over nine years. His favorite part about being a police officer and school resource officer is creating relationships with the students, and dispelling so many myths of the views that kids have of police officers. On a regular day, he starts and ends his day here, at Wash. To accommodate this, the police department has given him a take-home car, so that he can come straight here, instead of having to go to the department first. When we don’t have school, like during the weekends and on snow days, he also gets the day off. Usu-

Editor-in-Chief

Feature

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9 SHORT MONTHS...

CONGRATULATIONS FUTURE CYCLONES! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU IN AMES. Grace Cooper Alexander Gray Ian Hoover-Grinde Luke Johnson

Grace Kline Thomas Slattery Alexander Stockmaster Alice Tosi

List accurate as of November 11, 2015.

Apply to Iowa State today at admissions.iastate.edu/apply. If you’ve already been offered admission, accept your offer today at admissions.iastate.edu/accept.

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Emily Burke


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Sauer^2

Get to Know the Sauer Twins at Washington

Four heads full of curly brown hair. Four pairs of square glasses. Two unrelated families. Two separate sets of identical Sauer twins in the 11th grade. 17-year-olds Joshua David and Caleb Charles Sauer were born on Sept. 14, 1998. Both of these young men prefer cats over dogs, hot dogs over hamburgers, the beach over snow, and nights over mornings. They both participate in cross country, track, and band.

Josh’s favorite color is red. You might catch him watching “Lord of the Rings” while eating his favorite food, chicken. Whereas, Caleb, whose favorite color is aqua, could be found in a different room watching “Guardians of the Galaxy” while eating french fries. On June 11, 1999, Lilly Anne Sauer was born, and 20 minutes later, her sister, Chloe Jo was born. These two young ladies would rather have a dog than a cat, hamberger than a hot dog, go to the beach than go sledding, and it be night rather than morning. Lilly’s favorite color is purple and her favorite food is spaghetti. She enjoys disney films like “Hercules.” Chloe’s favorite color is pink and she likes to eat mac and cheese. Her favorite movie is “The Wizard of Oz.” When asked if he liked being a twin, Josh felt pretty indifferent,“I am neutral

Emily Burke

in my attitude towards being a twin. Some positives are watching the confusion on people’s faces when they realize there are two of us. One time someone thought we had teleported because they saw one of us walk down one hallway, and then the other walk down another. A negative is that people always ask if we are twins, and it can get a little annoying when you hear it all your life.” Lilly also could think of positives and negatives to being a twin, “Sometimes having a twin has its perks like always having someone there or someone to share clothes with. It can be annoying always being compared to her though because we’re seriously so different in most aspects.” Caleb likes having a twin for more than one reason, “I like being a twin because you are kind of able to get away with stuff and not get in trouble. You also get to share homework which is nice. But nothing is worse than when people ask, ‘Do you feel pain if Josh does’” Both of these sets of twin seem to get along very well, “My favorite thing about Lilly is that she looks like me. She gives good advice and she shares her clothes,” said Chloe.

Photos by Sarah Altemeier

Business Manager and Profiles Editor

Lilly enjoys a lot of things about her sister too, “Chloe is really funny at some points. She knows how to make me laugh which is nice. She’s way smarter so she helps me with homework a lot.” It was difficult for these four to imagine life without a twin, “It is hard to think about but I’d be alone with a lot of things I like to talk to her about and I wouldn’t have anybody at home with me either. However, I guess wouldn’t get sick as much since I always get sick after her,” said Chloe.

Caleb also thinks life would be very unusual, “Josh and I go through a lot together; my life would be very different. If I didn’t have a twin, I think that I wouldn’t be called by my last name as much.” His brother joked about people not being confused as much, “If I didn’t have a twin, I probably wouldn’t get nearly as much attention in public. Also, people would probably greet me by saying, ‘Hi Josh,’ instead of saying, ‘Are you Josh or Caleb?’” Lilly believes her life would be drastically different without Chloe, “I feel like I wouldn’t be who I am, like I feel like she shaped my personality. I also feel like I wouldn’t have some of my friends without her because we share the same friends and it weirds me out to think about life without her.”

Profiles

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Some Wish for It, Warriors Work for It

Mariah Rodriguez Intro to Media Student Tavian Patrick, ’16, number 22, is cocaptain of the Washington varsity football team. His position on the team is running back/receiver. He was named co-offensive player of the year in the district. The team’s goal had been getting to play at the UNI UNI-Dome. So, the loss to Kennedy in the quarterfinals, one round shy of the dome, was emotional for the team. Within the first three minutes of the game, the undefeated Kennedy team scored, making the game 7-0. “We knew that they [Kennedy] were gonna score but we didn’t know how many times. We thought we could come back and score too and we obviously did, but after they [Kennedy] scored the second touchdown, it gave them a lot of momentum. I think Kennedy is a good team, but they’re facing a good team [Bettendorf High school] too. It will be a really good game,” Patrick said. Patrick believes he played very well this year and did his part on Friday. “I think I did my job. That’s all you can do, and trust your teammates to do their jobs. It’s not an individual sport it takes a team to keep the boat a float. I think we just came up short of our potential Friday night and that’s what decided the loss. I mostly play offense, but that game I was playing more on the defensive side.” Patrick goes on stating, “We are a better team than what we showed this year, but it was the mistakes that killed us. We had the potential but just didn’t have the opportunity to show it. I think Wash is going to be a strong program for the future and has a lot to prove.” 14 Profiles

Many of the fans noticed how Patrick goes to the 50 yard line during pre-game in order to pray. “I get my wrist taped every game and I write names of people who’ve got me through things in tough moments and who made it possible for me to play. When I run to the 50 yard line to pray, it gives me a sense of peace. I don’t hear the crowd, all I hear is my heart beating. As my heart beats I thank God for the opportunity to play football and I tell Him to have Arro [Aaron Richardson a former Wash student who was killed earlier this year and to whom Patrick dedicated the season] watch over me, I tell him to keep everybody safe who’s playing tonight, to keep me strong mentally and physically, and I thank people who fight for this country,” Patrick said.

Photo by Rielle Jones-Teske One of Patrick’s most memorable moments this year was the bus ride to and from Ottumwa. “It was just a big ‘flame session’, it was funny, people got their feelings hurt, but it was fun.” Patrick goes on saying, “I’ll miss not being able to play with my team anymore and I feel bad because I can’t relive those memories I had [with the team].” Isaiah Nimmers, ‘16, number two, believes that Friday’s game was emotionally and physically tough. “Friday was hard knowing it was the last time playing with the people I grew up with. It hurts not being able to play with my team again. When we were chanting the fight song at the end of the game, the only thing that was

going through my head is that it’s the last time I was going to play on the field with my brothers.” Nimmers’ advice for future football players is to work hard, don’t take any days off, and to not take anything for granted. Varsity Warriors Assistant Football Coach Frank Scherrman believes the Warriors could have done better. “The second time we went against Kennedy, we didn’t play our best. We ran into a very good team. I think they exploited some of our weaknesses and we just couldn’t quite rebound from some mistakes. When you get seniors like Tavian and our seniors last year, they kind of set the bar high, and now when these lower classmen come they know that’s what our expectation is, and I know there is a lot of talent at our lower levels. So hopefully they’ll work hard, rise up, and equal what our seniors have done.” Ceth Davis, Assistant Coach to both the Sophomore and Varsity Warrior Football teams, is determined for the Warriors to go undefeated and get a state title next season. “You always want to go in a season saying you don’t want to lose a game but realistically you never know who comes to play on what night. But my goal is to always be an undefeated state champion. Most people don’t come to Wash and see it as a school for basketball or baseball; we’re just known for mainly football. We’ll be back next year.” Friday Nov. 6 was Patrick’s and Nimmers’ last high school football game. However, Patrick and Nimmers both plan on continuing to playing football in college.

Business Manager and Profiles Editor

Emily Burke


Freshman Bachelor of the Month: Brayden Wright

Emily Burke Profiles Editor

If you think Wright may be the perfect one for you, The Surveyor staff has good news for you: he is single and ready to mingle. Wright says that he is interested in “all types of girls,” as long as they talk in person. “Some girls talk on the internet but when you see them they don’t say anything. That is so annoying,” explains Wright. When asked what his ideal date would be, the 5’10’’, brown-eyed freshman bachelor says that it would be “probably Netflix and chilling.” Wright may be number eight on the field, but he could soon be number one in your heart.

Brayden Wright, `19, is a young man who loves to ball. Whether it is a basketball or a football, he can be found playing a sport. This past fall he took part in the freshman football team and played as the quarterback in jersey number eight. This coming winter you can catch Wright dribbling a on the basketball court, playing “all of the positions.” Wright plans to take his athletic abilities to Duke and play basketball for the Blue Devlis, or to Florida State and play football for the Seminoles. Photo by Sam Wicke

ClareBOYant: A Cedar Rapids Boy Band

Sam Wicke Staff Writer

Photos by Emily Burke

ClareBOYant is a local boy band that’s comprised of six members. It was an idea formed by Clare Duffy and the Z102.9 team last spring. There were 10 local high school boys who auditioned and the top six were chosen to participate in the band. The group has two songs so far, including, “Call You Mine” and “For All Time”. They have performed a few small gigs including appearances at the local downtown farmers market and at 7 a.m. on the Z102.9 morning show. They also created their first music video featuring Emily Burke

their ballad, “For All Time”. It was shot at Read Photography’s out-of-studio location called, “the Loft”. Two of the members attend Washington High School. Jake Truemper, ’16, plays the “sweetheart” role in the band while Miguel Davidson,’17, plays the “shy baby brother role”. They follow the path of a stereotypical boy band. They start of with an upbeat hit, followed by a ballad. Then, they attend public events such as the downtown farmer’s market and they also created a ClareBOYant scent.

“I love being in the group because all of the guys are super nice...” Every member has a specific role to portray that are commonly seen in typical boy band. “I love being in a group because

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all the guys are super nice and I remember always wanting to meet the Z102.9 people,” said Truemper. Being in a band has taught them a wide variety of skills. “I’ve learned how to be a better performer. I’ve never really been in a boy band so this has really offered a different experience for me,” said Truemper. What lies ahead for ClareBOYant? What else do they have in store for their fans? Make sure to keep an eye out for the upand-coming boy band, ClareBOYant.

Profiles

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Kyle Phillips Adviser

The Cubs Don’t Suck Anymore!

“Back to the Future 2,” an opening series against the Cardinals- our loathed rivals, and a league championship series against the Mets- a team who knocked us out of contention in 1969. It seemed that the stars were aligned and this was going to be the Chicago Cubs’ year. I’ve been a Cubs fan for as long as I can remember. My parents were never very vigilant about baseball, but some close family friends and my grandparents would always have the Cubs on TV whenever I would go over. I feel very emotionally invested in the Cubs, because near the end of my grandfather’s life it was something that we could talk about and he would still have opinions about the team. It breaks my heart to know that he never saw a Cubs world championship in his lifetime. I remember the last time that the Cubs were in the playoffs I was a senior in high school. I can still recall watching the Bartman game and getting very upset. However, in my youth I was quick to blame the guy from Chicago who was just doing what any of us would have done at a baseball game in that seat. As I look back on what transpired after the Bartman catch I now realize that the Cubs only have themselves to blame for that loss. As a Cubs fan I’m required to say “Next year is here!” every April. Most years that optimism is crushed by my birthday in August and I’m able to focus my sports fan energy on the Hawkeye football team. This year the Cubs played very well through the summer, and would have had home field advantage throughout the playoffs if they had played in any other division. The NL Central was killer this year. Kudos to the Cards and the Pirates for pushing the Cubs to play their best in order to keep playoff hopes alive. This post season started with a very exciting one game playoff to get into the NLDS against the Pittsburgh Pirates. The excitement surrounding that game was palpable among Cubs fans. And in the age of social media, it’s possible to connect with Cubs fans from coast to coast as they cheer on their favorite team. Watching the Pirates game was amazing. The joy I felt knowing that the Cubs were go-

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ing to the MLB playoffs for the first time in over 10 years was indescribable. The fact that it was being shared with hundreds of thousands of other fans across the nation was tremendous. After winning their game against the Pirates the Cubs played the Cardinals in the NLDS. For those of you who are not baseball fans the Cubs and the Cardinals is one of the most storied rivalries in baseball. It most closely parallels the Yankees and the Red Sox with the fact that one team has had much more success than the other. It was going to be an important series beyond the normal playoff implications. It was funny to see them online claiming bandwagoning of Cubs fans. I don’t believe there was a lot of bandwagoning going on, it’s just easy to be quiet and not loudly proclaim your fandom if your team hasn’t made the postseason for 10 years. Cubs fans are everywhere, we just might not be as boisterous and obnoxious as Cards fans or Yankees fans. At the beginning of the series with the Cards I was still guarded. As a lifelong Cubs and Hawkeyes fan I’ve had my dreams dashed more than once. This defense to my psyche paid off when the Cubs lost the first game of the series. However, I had several friends who had sold their Hawkeye football tickets for that Saturday’s game against Illinois to attend the second game in St. Louis. I watched both games from a restaurant where I could comfort myself with fried food in the event of a loss. That day I did not need fried food. Both the Hawks and the Cubs were triumphant. It was a glorious day. After that win at Busch Stadium the wall around my emotions began to crumble. The Cubs were going to play the final two games at Wrigley Field. It was looking like the Mets were going to beat the Dodgers and it would be a rematch from the much maligned 1969 NLCS. If the Cubs could just steal the series from the Cards then surely it was predestined that this year they would break the curse. They managed to win the next two games at Wrigley to take the series. They even set an MLB post season record while they were at it. They hit the most home runs in a single post-

season game. Do you have any idea how hard it is to break an MLB record? Those things go back over 120 years, but the Cubs did it. I was ecstatic. Everyone was wearing their Cubs gear with pride. Then they played the Mets. If you’ve stuck with me this long I’m guessing you’re either a Cubs or a baseball fan. You know how it went down. The Cubs were swept by the Mets and did not play in the World Series. However, there was neither a goat, nor a Bartman, nor a mythical black cat roaming the catwalks at Wrigley. The Cubs got outplayed by a great Mets team. (Clearly not as great as the Royals, but that’s a different column for someone who’s a Royals fan.) Thank you, Cubs, for creating many exciting moments that reminded me why we love sports. It’s about being part of a community larger than ourselves. It’s about taking some time out of your day to forget all the terrible things going on in the world, all the gridlock in Washington D.C., all your personal problems, and cheer on the “good guys.” I like that aspect, even if your good guys are different from mine. On the plus side, this Cubs team is exciting to watch. They are incredibly talented, and many sportswriters feel that they’ll be back in the postseason for many years to come. For once I’m not just saying it, I can’t wait for next year.

Sports Editor

Gunnar Bosking


Hawkeyes are Undefeated Tyler McGuire Staff Writer The Iowa Hawkeyes have not been much of a force to be reckoned with up until this season. The 9-0 Hawkeyes (as of press time) are playing strong and have much hope going forward this season. With Iowa’s quarterback C.J. Beathard starting for the first time this year, he is soaring way above his expectations. Brock Stewart ’18 is a huge fan of Beathard. “Beathard is a savage. I think he is the best quarterback in the Big Ten right now,” said Stewart. Quinn Wilcox ’18, a lifelong fan is loving Iowa’s success. “I think that we are going to beat Minnesota and Purdue, and I also think we are going to go undefeated the rest of the season,” said Wilcox. “The last few years have been pretty me-

(No, I’m Not Kidding)

diocre, I’m glad that we are finally having some success.” said Stewart. The last time the Hawkeyes had this kind of success was six years ago when they won the Orange Bowl. That was also the year that Iowa was “jinxed” by being put on the cover of a Sports Illustrated magazine. Many people say that Iowa does not have very good strength of schedule, but if a team is able to go undefeated in the Big Ten West division, they have to be pretty good. Some fans believe that this is the year for Iowa. “I think Iowa will win the Big Ten Championship this year,” said Stewart. Iowa is doing great, but they certainly have their work cut out for them. However, if they take it one game at a time, then they will do awesome. Photo Courtesy of The CR Gazette

Billy Lemos Staff Writer

Winter Sports Preview

The winter season has begun and with that come a whole new roster of sports for students at Washington High school to participate in. The winter sports roster includes bowling, wrestling, men’s swimming, women’s basketball, and roughrider season. The men’s bowling coach this year is Monica Reeves. Davin Knapp, ’17, remarked that, “Bowling practices this year are more challenging.” Girls basketball coach Frank Howell has high hopes for this year. “I expect excitement. I expect this to be not the biggest team, but I expect us to have as good of speed as anyone else we play, and I expect us to play smart. I see we have a collection of people, that if we find a way to work together on the court, we will find a way to beat other teams with Gunnar Bosking

Sports Editor

star players and franchises,” Howell said. They are set to have their first game in the coming few weeks. Boys swimming is coached by Chris Cruise. Some of the team members are impressed by the speed of some of the newcomers. “I don’t know if I could even keep up with the freshman. I’m pretty sure two of them are already on varsity this year,” said Patrick Gorman, ’17. This may calm any doubts that people have had about whether the team will take districts this year, since the team is now so strong that people are afraid of how challenging swimming will be. Winter sports will begin competition with the girls basketball Jamboree at Kennedy High School on Nov. 20.

Photos From Surveyor Archives

Sports

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Grace Kline Staff Writer

Swimming Recap

The girls swimming team never fails to deliver, qualifying nine individual events and two relays for state and finishing second overall at Districts, and placing 15th out of 33 teams that scored points at State. The medley relay of Kaitlyn Nemickas, ’16, Caitlin Sievers, ’18, Lauren Havertape, ’18, and Logan Eckhardt, ’16, finished 8th in the State, and the sprint relay of Eckhardt, Nemickas, Emily Nelson , ’18, and Jenny Hughes, ’18 finished 23rd. Individually, Nelson finished 19th in the State in both the IM and the 500 free, Havertape finished 15th in the 50 free and 8th in the 100 fly, Hughes finished 9th in the 500 free and 18th in breaststroke, Sievers finished 16th in breaststroke, and Eckhardt finished 14th in breaststroke. Their regular season was also a great success, winning five out of seven dual meets and one out of two invitationals, finishing first in their division and third overall at the varsity conference supermeet, and winning the sophomore conference for the 2nd time ever, which was definitely one of the biggest highlights of the year. While the finishing stats for the girls swimming team may be no big surprise, the sheer size of the team definitely was. By the end of the season, the team consisted of 57 girls, which was about 20 more than usually go out for the team. Head coach Megan Lewis thought that the strong bond that had developed between swimmers appealed to others and made them want to join the team. “We try to make everything as much of a family as possible and I think that that kind of generates... talking to your friends and making it a fun experience [also made more girls want to join],” commented Lewis. The girls swim team has always been known for their fun bonding activities, such as a summer trip or a scavenger hunt. “We normally go on a team trip in the summer and this time we went to Cherry Hill. We went to Hy-Vee for breakfast… [then] we all secretly raced each other to Cherry Hill,” said JV swimmer Kiran 18

Sports

Kearney, ’16. “We went out to dinner several times because the swim team likes to eat a lot… We [also] went to potter’s obsession and painted things,” added varsity swimmer Maya Altemeier, ’16. Having a larger team definitely brought some perks, but there were also new challenges for the team to face. “When you have a large team you have, usually, a lot more talent…But we certainly have a very talented group of girls anyway,” stated Lewis. When she was asked what some challenges were for the team this year, Lewis replied, “When you have that large a team, finding space [in the pool] for everybody is probably our biggest issue.” The main challenge that always faces varsity is mental stamina. “The way the season works, you start off pretty strong and then... you add on so much time in the middle of the season because you are tired from morning practices and afternoon practices and swimming every single day… it’s hard to realize that at the end of the season it’ll be worth it and you’ll drop a lot of time,” stated Altemeier. But, varsity has been able to stay mentally tough and have broken quite a few team records this year

Background photo by Jackson Kluber

with the help of many returning veterans. The swimmers also noted some changes this year. “[Because of the bigger team] we (varsity and JV) weren’t as close as we normally are…because there are so many people we... closed off into separate groups so it was harder to bond with people on varsity,” observed Kearney. But, the larger size of the team also allowed the girls to make new friends. “I liked it (the bigger team) because at swim meets I got to know a lot more people… [The division between varsity and jv ] allowed us to get to know our part of the team a little better,” commented Altemeier. Unfortunately, the size of the team hindered the girls from doing as many bonding activities this year. Kearney stated, “…normally we go on a scavenger hunt but we couldn’t this year because of our team being large. We didn’t have enough senior drivers.” With such a successful season, the team must be looking forward to next year when they can get back in the pool and make Wash proud all over again. “We...can’t get enough water. We like water apparently,” said Kearney with a grin.

Sports Editor

Photo by Elena Burrier

Brandon Cullen


Caution: Winter Driving Jonathan Melander Multimedia Editor As winter approaches here in Iowa, we’re faced with many things such as shoveling the driveway and sub-zero temperatures. With that comes winter driving; slipping and sliding all over the roads and getting stuck in snow. So I’m here to give all you wonderful people of Washington High School a few tips that you can use to improve your winter driving experience. The first and most important tip goes out to all the freshmen, if you’re a freshman don’t drive to school in the winter because you have the driving skill of a 70 year old on illegal narcotics and I don’t feel like having to fix my car when you manage to hit it which is simply inevitable. As I go into the second tip, I’m going to educate some of you with some very powerful knowledge; snow (the cold white stuff that falls out of the sky), is actually

Addi Westpheling A&E Editor

Photo by Addi Westpheling

Scream Queens

Imagine this: a collaboration between the mastermind creators of the TV series “Glee” and “American Horror Story”. Is it too good to be true? Surprisingly, it’s not, with the hot new TV series “Scream Queens”, which premiered on Sept. 22, 2015. Scream Queens take place on a fictional college campus of Wallace University during the present day. This story begins on the 20th anniversary of a sorority pledge gone wrong when numerous murders start to pile up on campus. A maniac killer wreaks havoc on the student body in a mysterious way. Everyone is on the lookout for the next victim, or even better, the crazy killer. It’s a classic “whodunit” series that will keep you guessing to find out the possible murderer. This comedy-horror series was created Addi Westpheling

very slippery, meaning that when you come up to the four way stop at the corner of campus you ACTUALLY have to stop before you’re five feet away from the stop sign otherwise you’ll slide right through it; wow! Third and final tip; make sure when you pull out of the parking lot that you always floor your car and spin your tires very fast, especially if you drive a big, loud pickup truck. By doing this you ensure that you’ll always look super, duper, ultra cool and everyone will look up to you and want to be your friend! By following these tips you ensure that we can all have a pleasant (SAFE) winter driving experience here at Washington.

A&E Editor

by the masterminds of television, Ryan Murphy (“Glee”) and Brad Falchuk (“AHS”). The comedy is hilarious with a creative mix of horror that’ll make you scream (thus the series name), and all of it is credited to the killer cast. The cast is made up of well-known celebrities like Emma Roberts, Lea Michele, Nick Jonas, and Ariana Grande just to name a few. This show is broadcasted on FOX on Tuesdays at 9 p.m., in case you want to catch up on missed episodes. It’s a unique show with an amazing blend between comedy and horror that’ll make you laugh while keeping you on your toes. If you love “American Horror Story” and “Glee”, then this is definitely the show for you. Photo from 20th Century Fox

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Star Wars Trailer Jacob Mason-Marshall Guest Writer

Photo by Addi Westpheling

They only came at the end, but I felt chills after watching the most recent trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. This isn’t the appropriate forum to pompously regale you with the epic story of my Star Wars fandom, but, in brief, I have the *real* trilogy memorized by heart (or close to it). Now, to the trailer. As most SW fanatics, I was anxious to the point of mania when Disney, with JJ in tow, announced a new set of films. You know the story: George Lucas sells his soul, Jar Jar Binks, grandfathered changes to the originals (WTF is Hayden Christian doing in the final scene of VI, seriously). HOWEVER, what I have seen has exceeded my expectations by a factor over 9000. Questions I’m looking for to getting answered: How will Luke pass the lightsaber (eh eh?) on to the next generation of Jedi’s? Who is the new villain? Why does he wear a helmet eerily similar to Darth Vaders’ AND pays homage to the said empty and decayed mask? How will the ‘classic’ characters reflect their younger selves? How will they demonstrate growth now that they are true geriatrics … Oops, I meant ‘adults’. Will JJ go all Michael Bay and saturate what could be a compelling storyline with lasers, explosions, and halfhour long light saber and/or space and/or AT-AT battle sequences? I have more. And that’s the point: I will feel like an incomplete person if I don’t see the movie on opening night. We’ll see if I feel the same in the morning.

A Darth Vader statue can be found in Mr. Scherrman’s classroom

“Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens” premieres on Dec. 18

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A&E Editor

Addi Westpheling


“The Real Goods” Playlist

Betsy Smith Web Editor

Hotline Bling - Drake New Americana - Halsey American Daydream - Electric Guest No Diggity - Chet Faker Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Tame Im- Right Hand - Drake pala Sunday Candy - Donnie Trumpet & The Social Electric Love - BØRNS Experiment Glazin’ - Jacuzzi Boys XXX 88 - MØ, Diplo

Photo from Astralwerks Records

Photo from Interscope Records

Empire Review

Emma Nassif Staff Writer Empire currently is one of the most popular drama series on television and since the first episode has had viewers hooked on the ever-changing crazy plot. The plot consists of one of the main characters, Lucious Lyon, played by Terrence Howard, struggles to run a multimillion dollar music production company after finding out that his life has been cut short due to contracting a deadly disease. His ex-wife Cookie Lyon, played by Taraji P. Henson, and his three sons try to take over the business. This series also deals with Lucious and Cookie having a shameful past of crime and drugs that eventually ruins them, three ruthless sons trying to make it big in the music industry at any cost, and special guest appearances by popular hip-hop and R&B artists.

Along with these harsh themes this show brings, top of the charts soundtracks from seasons one and two, which is available on all major music purchasing platforms of rap and R&B music that makes this show so popular. The albums from the first two seasons is currently available on Itunes and Spotify and features artists like Jennifer Hudson, Jussie Smollett and Estelle. Dysfunctional families in television have been increasing popular in recent years including other popular television shows. This very common theme keeps the viewers coming back for what stocking drama will be in the next episode. The show has received an 80 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and an eight out of 10 on IMDB. The Music has topped the Itunes soundtrack and Hip-hop charts. Empire currently airs on “FOX” on Wednesdays at

8 p.m. The third season of “Empire” premieres on Nov. 11 at 8 p.m. on “FOX”. Potential viewers can catch up on the last two seasons on Hulu and the FOX NOW app for Apple and Android.

Photo from 20th Century Fox

Addi Westpheling

A&E Editor

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Emily Burke


Faculty Funnies “He’s dropping some truth bombs, and I don’t think ya’ll are appreciating it!” -Mr. M “Marijuana makes a healthier America.” -Mr. Howell “I pulled a poster of James Dean out of a dumpster this weekend.” -Doc Wenzel “That’s an awfully large phone to go up your butthole.” -Anonymous “If only I could hit one kid a day…” -Anonymous “I’m making that a rule: no shot glasses.” -Mr. Phillips

SURVEYOR’S ALL-YOUCAN-EAT PLAYLIST Alice’s Restaurant Arlo Guthrie Chicken Noodle Soup DJ Webstar Eat It “Weird Al” Yankovic Cheeseburger in Paradise Jimmy Buffett

Roses

&

Thorns

Peppermint hot chocolate Losing to Kennedy “Legally Blonde” Short Thanksgiving break Black Friday Black Friday More college applications Thanksgiving Politicians “Star Wars” Movember Christmas in October Girls state swimming APUSH notes Scented candles Trump on SNL Daylight saving time Sweater weather BØRNS’ new album “Black Ops 3” Ben Carson Molly Hunter “Fallout 4” Math

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Peaches Presidents of the USA Dinner Bell They Might Be Giants All You Can Eat The Fat Boys Molly Hunter

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