ISSUE 25, 2010

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Issue 25 / september 20th / 2010

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FEATURES 18 translating trans 22 theres a queer. where? over there? thats awsome!

26 10 questions 27 my story 28 oh baby!

Schmack 30 - 41

CRITIQUE 42 - 53

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Disclaimer: the views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, Planet Media, or OUSA. Press Council: people with a complaint against a newspaper should first complain in writing to the Editor and then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the Press Council. Complaints should be addressed to the Secretary, PO Box 10-879 The Terrace, Wellington.

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Critic – Te Arohi

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SPA. Say it out load. Asssss-paaaa. It’s got a nice ring to it. What is this ASPA I speak of? For the uninitiated — which is no doubt the vast majority of you — ASPA is the Aotearoa Student Press Association. It’s pretty much awesomeness in a can. Each and every student magazine in New Zealand, from Craccum at Auckland Uni to Critic down there in Dunedin, is a member of ASPA. Birthed back in the early nineties, the purpose of ASPA has changed very little in the intervening decade or so: we exist to share news, content, ideas, and features, not to mention get drunk and swap war stories and a bit of spit from time to time. For editors, ASPA is like one giant shoulder to cry on — there’s always someone to bitch to over Gmail chat (or if things are really bad, over the phone) when features fall through, when advertising managers conveniently forget to tell you something on deadlines day, when student presidents don’t get their columns in on time, or when the mainstream media spotlight is shining down on your magazine’s sorry little arse. Does ASPA have superpowers? Not quite, but we sure do try our hardest to report on the stuff that you, students, should care about. We’ve seen a heck of a lot of changes in the tertiary education sector this year, and magazines like Salient and Critic have been at the forefront of a lot of this coverage. That’s right, we’ve been scooping the Dominion Post and the Otago Daily Times on everything from the closure of enrolments to the closure of Gardies. It doesn’t look like we’re going to be running out of stories any time soon, with VSM on the horizon, and universities taking more drastic steps to balance their budgets and make ends meet. These are issues that will undoubtedly have a significant impact on students at every single university across the country. And this is where the power of ASPA lies: in our ability to work as a collective to report on student issues for a student audience. Ultimately though, for ASPA to be the properly functioning media beast it could be, it requires the cooperation and participation of all student magazines. Why copy and paste a press release or a story from a mainstream media outlet when you have 12 other student magazines with a whole host of interesting news stories that actually matter to students just an email away? You, too, have a part to play: keep reading the magazine you’re holding in your hands. Care about what’s happening at your students’ association and at your university. Heck, come in and volunteer and write for us! Our ongoing existence relies on your support — if you stop caring, you’ll have to look for an alternative source of entertainment to get through your Monday morning lectures.

PO Box 1436, Dunedin (03) 479 5335 critic@critic.co.nz www.critic.co.nz Editor in Chief:

Ben Thomson Designer in Chief:

Gala Hesson Features Writers:

Susan Smirk Caitlyn O’ Fallon Thomas Redford Sub Editor:

Marie Hodgkinson Creative Director:

Dreke Verkuylen News Editor:

Gregor Whyte News Reporters:

Rory MacDonald Julia Hollingsworth Feature ILLUSTRATOR:

Tom Garden Music Editor:

Sam Valentine Film Editor:

Max Segal Books Editor:

Jonathan Jong TELEVISION EDITOR

Paul McMillan FOOD EDITOR

Tien-Yi Toh ART EDITOR

April Dell Performance Editor:

Jen Aitken And a substantial army of volunteers xoxo Advertising:

This week Critic brings you the Queer Issue. It’s been a few years since we took an in-depth look at some of the issues facing queer students at Otago. Amongst our coverage, we talk to two trans students on p18, we tell you the ten questions you really need to stop asking (p26) and a queer Muslim student shares her story on p27. Meanwhile, the OUSA Exec is starting to do some seriously weird shit. Read Julia Hollingsworth’s Execrable on p11. If you understand what on earth is going on, and/or are also starting to feel uneasy, let us know. We’re going to take a closer look next week.

Kate Kidson Tim Couch Dave Eley Logan Valentine Ad. Designer:

Daniel Alexander PH: (03)4795361 kate@planetmedia.co.nz WWW. planetmedia.co.nz

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An American bus driver has been put on a leave of absence after he was filmed driving down a busy freeway while casually reading his Kindle. Somehow, despite not looking at the road for long stretches at a time, he didn’t hit anything, and didn’t even miss a stop. Impressive multi-tasking.

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A woman in the US is in a little bit of bother after stabbing a man who told her she had ‘smelly feet’ with a steak knife. Apparently the 18-year-old took the playful insult a little seriously because she had just been teased about doing a crap back-flip. Very understandable.

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Recently a seven-month-old kitten in Melbourne called Suki climbed into a washing machine, and survived a full wash cycle. Apparently it was the second time that month the family survived a pussy going through a vicious cycle.

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A man stuck in a traffic jam needed to take a leak so badly that he hopped out of his car, jumped a barrier, and plummeted 20 metres to his death. The Floridian might have been under the limit, but he was clearly still a little too sloppy to be out without a minder.

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Roald Dahl, the author of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, also penned the screenplay for the fifth Bond film, You Only Live Twice.


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66: Percentage of precooked Hellers sausages that is “meat.” 5.89 pounds: Average amount of pocket money a British child gets per week. 70: Separate pieces of wood that make up a violin 200: Japanese people who died in one year from eating the deadly delicacy Fugo fish.

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A burglar in Malaysia accidentally fell asleep on the job as he attempted to steal around $3200 worth of loot. The owners of the house came back from holiday to find their living room a mess, and a man napping on the couch. The man awoke and tried escaping out a window, only to be arrested shortly afterwards. Amateur.

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A Russian Student who was taking tennis lessons in P.E. decided to determine how the ball-firing machine worked by peering down its barrel … while the machine was on. The student was lucky to escape with a broken nose and concussion: if the machine had been at maximum power it would have killed him.

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In the staff room: “Freedy Mercury was gay, and he could sing!” – From the Overheard @ Uni of Otago Facebook page

A billboard in America celebrating the ‘best things’ about public schools showed that accuracy is the sole preserve of the private education system. The billboard left out the ‘l’ in the word public, and we can all work out what that spells …

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Voting closes on 9 October for local body elections, in which voters will elect their new Dunedin City Council, Otago Regional Council, and Southern District Health Board. Voting will be held by postal election (if you haven’t received your voting pack, you probably aren’t enrolled). Seven people are running for Dunedin Mayor. Among them are current Mayor Peter Chin, current City Councillor Dave Cull, and Radio One presenter Aaron Hawkins. No polls have been conducted yet, but pundits are predicting a two-horse race between Cull and Chin. In all, 39 candidates are running for the hotly contested 11 Central Ward Councillor positions. The youngest of them is 18-yearold student Jono Clarke, who is running under the slogan “Unity. Transparency. Integrity.” In general, however, the slogans have left a lot to be desired. DCC Councillor hopeful Olive McRae’s posters have fluctuated inconsistently between an unflattering cartoon and a bush backdrop photograph. Hawkins’ black and white masterpieces are the exception to this, although they have been the target of a counter-campaign which has gone to great lengths to disguise Hawkins as the Devil, Hitler, and most notably, Yoko Ono. Off the streets, a number of candidate debates have been held, beginning with the mayoral candidates forum at the Caversham Presbyterian Church Hall in August, at which Chairman Ivan Criglington praised all the candidates for their polite demeanour. The Mayoral debate on campus will be held this Tuesday 28 September in the Main Common Room. When asked her mayoral preference, OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan said she would wait until after the debate to decide. According to Geoghegan, a number of candidates standing for the DCC have approached her wanting to discuss student issues, namely Aaron Hawkins, Dave Cull, Kate Wilson, Jinty MacTavish, Lynn Tozer, Andrew Eames, Andrew Whiley, and Craig Watson. The key issues for the Mayor are likely to 08

be maintaining and improving relationships with the University and its students, creating more job opportunities, improving transport, planning for rising costs of energy, and climate change. Most of these were themes within the mission statements of the various mayoral candidates. In the ODT, Chin said his priorities if re-elected would be “the continued support of our key industries, especially education, and a concerted focus on the development of tourism.” A number of candidates listed cutting DCC spending as one of their focuses. Hawkins wants to slash the salaries of top management, and 45-year-old beneficiary/ student Jimmy Knowles, who lists setting up a fairground as one of his main priorities, is going one further, promising to give back his salary to the community. Both the Dunedin City Council and the Southern District Health Board will be elected by Single Transferable Vote (STV), where a voter is able to rank the candidates in order of preference. In STV, candidates need to obtain a set quota of votes to be elected. All first preference votes are counted and once a candidate has reached the quota they are elected, and the remaining votes are distributed between the voters’ second preferences. The process continues until fifteen councillors are elected. By contrast, the Otago Regional Council is elected using First Past the Post (FPP), whereby a voter can tick only one candidate on their voting form, and the candidates

with the most votes are elected. Within the Dunedin City Council vote, the vote is split into the vote for the mayor, the ward and, if relevant, the community board. The DCC numbers 15 councillors in total: one mayor, eleven councillors for the Central Ward, two councillors for the Mosgiel Taieri Ward, and one councillor for the Chalmers Ward. There are six Community Boards: Chalmers, Mosgiel Taieri, Otago Peninsula, Saddle Hill, Strath Taieri, and Waikouaiti, each consisting of six members who are elected to the board and one city councillor who is appointed to the board. In Otago Peninsula, Saddle Hill, and Strath Taieri, the number of candidates did not exceed the number of vacancies to be filled, so all of the candidates are automatically elected to the board. Those elected to the community boards are not city councillors, but they do work with city councillors to represent the views of their specific region. The Otago Regional Council consists of 11 members, and promotes the sustainable development and enhancement of Otago region’s resources. New Zealand big shot actor Sam Neill is among the candidates in the running for a position on the Otago Regional Council. The Southern District Health Board is the “planner, funder, and provider of public hospital and health service” for the lower South Island. It comprises seven members, four of whom are voted in by the Otago constituency.


The proposed 2011 operational budget

In the referendum to be held from October 11-14, students will be asked to approve the 2011 Operational Budget (above) along with the Capital Expenditure Budget. The Exec voted down earlier proposals to significantly increase the levy in order to create a $900 000 VSM contingency fund. Instead, the levy is proposed to rise in line with inflation and is to be set at $120.36. The referendum looks set to be one of the most boring events in the history of the University of Otago. Among the proposed motions are a bunch about OUSA’s future with NZUSA and whether or not OUSA should apologise to our national student union. Even better, another motion proposes that OUSA takes a stance against the GST hike, because, y’know, the Government will totally listen.

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The winners of the 2010 Otago University Blues and Golds Awards were announced at dual ceremonies last week. The Blues awards celebrate the best and brightest sporting achievers from the University of Otago, and are in their 102nd year. The keynote speaker was adventurer and writer Tim Mulliner. Blues were awarded to 38 athletes from 12 different disciplines, and awards for University Sportsman, Sportswoman, and Sports Club of the Year were also presented (though not in time for Critic’s print deadline). Among the nominees were

reigning New Zealand discus champion Marshall Hall, 1500-metre national record setter Hannah Newbold, and 10 000-metre national champion Rachel Kingsford. The Golds awards recognise outstanding achievement in the cultural sphere, and 16 recipients were honoured at the ceremony last Thursday. Also presented were awards for Administrator of the Year and Society of the Year. The awards were established in 2002, and this year the master of ceremonies was Lorriane Isaacs, former TVNZ executive and University Challenge producer.

The controversial 4.20 protest club is at odds with OUSA once again, this time over the accused censorship of one of its entries in the upcoming Otago University Student Film Competition, the Mothras. OtagoNorml, an associate group of the National Organisation for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, submitted three entries into the competition this year, one of which is up for an award, but it’s their promotional video explaining their association with OUSA that has ruffled a few feathers. OUSA General Manager Stephen Alexander has pulled the short video from the competition because of an issue regarding one scene, which he says OtagoNorml spokesman Abe Gray refused to edit out of the final entry. Alexander, however, denies this is an act of censorship. “There is one item that I have excluded from the screening/judging process because of Mr. Gray’s failure to follow through on his promise to edit a certain individual, who objected to being filmed, out of the film clip. There is no attempt to censor any messages, simply a lack of good faith on Mr. Gray’s part.” 10

The controversial scene shows OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan being enveloped in a cloud of marijuana smoke being exhaled by a video participant. Gray says he was never officially requested to remove the scene from the movie, and the objection he received from Alexander, when the film was first posted on Youtube in March of this year, regarded how the movie “made a mockery of OUSA.” Now he says OUSA is shutting him out, refusing to discuss the matter or let OtagoNorml amend their entry. “I’ve tried to talk to Stephen Alexander further about this matter, but he refuses to get back to me.” Gray feels that the entry is being banned because it clearly elucidates OUSA’s endorsement of cannabis use as a form of protest. “Cannabis is controversial … we see what we’re doing as totally sanctioned by the students, we are an OUSA club, we pay our memberships and levies. Stephen Alexander doesn’t have the right to tell us what to do.” The Mothra entries are being screened between 5-8 October.


You may have noticed that a month has passed since the last Proctology. The reason for this is that the Proctor was on a road trip with his mates. They went to Christchurch and got up to no good, causing significant property damage and several injuries and necessitating a civil defence call-out. You probably heard about it on the news. Anyway, he’s back on deck this week and has had some problems to deal with … Firstly, he’d like to pish-posh the rumour going around campus that there’s a black van full of gang prospects cruising around North Dunedin looking for female students to sexually assault as some sort of initiation ritual. Both the police and the Proctor’s office have investigated this story, and found nothing to suggest that it’s anything other

than complete bullshit. Statistically, you’re much more likely to be assaulted by a flatmate with boundary issues than a shadowy figure lurking in the bushes. A young man caught egging a passerby was required to write a grovelling letter of apology to the eggee, and include a large grocery voucher in the envelope. Somewhat more seriously, bottlethrowing has made a small-scale come-back around campus. Nobody has been punished yet, but in the past those caught throwing bottles have been pretty swiftly executed. Meanwhile more young twerps have been apprehended on the roofs of University buildings after hours, generally assuming that they have every right to be there because they’re, y’know, students and stuff. They

It seemed at first as though the meeting would be crazily brief: quorum was only just met, and Ros needed to leave in seven minutes. Needless to say, Critic was stoked. An hour in, Ros was frantic, and Imogen subbed in for her. By this point Critic was a lot less stoked. Somebody asked whether a standing committee could be delegated authority, to which James retorted “I’m not doing that just because people can’t be bothered showing up.” In light of the previous week’s realisation that the OUSA Constitution is more than a little fucked up, James presented the Exec with his proposed changes. If passed in the online referendum next month these changes will alter the structure yet again, replacing “forums” with regular SGMs with a quorum of 100 students. The SGMs would serve two

purposes. Firstly, internal policy would be voted on, and secondly, motions on external policy would be debated. At the SGM, students would vote on whether the motion should be put to an online vote with quorum of five percent required to pass a motion at an online vote. But don’t worry, even if the Exec can’t get their motion passed at an SGM, they can just bypass the whole convoluted procedure and call a referendum anyway. They do know best after all. In other words, what was already an incredibly fucked up process will be more confusing still, and it looks like the International Socialists will remain the only people who care about/attend SGMs. Although the proposed constitutional changes were ultimately passed, the general atmosphere

don’t, neither do you – and trespass notices make it difficult to attend lectures.

The Proctor has been made aware of two ‘red-cardings’ recently. At the risk of writing an inadvertent instruction manual, this involves locking a friend or flatmate in a room with a preposterous amount of alcohol and not letting them out until it’s gone. Less intelligent people caught up in this particular example of the bastardisation of the Otago Student Experience™ have ended up in hospital – one with alcohol poisoning, and the other with injuries sustained after drunkenly stumbling in front of a moving car. Not a recommended option.

was more “we’re screwed if we don’t” than “man I love this policy.” The Exec went on to consider motions from students. Harriet and Claire weren’t at all keen on allowing the motion “Should OUSA formally apologise to NZUSA,” thinking it would pre-empt their other questions about whether OUSA should stay with NZUSA. Walker said wisely, “Just because we accept a motion doesn’t mean we endorse it.” Ros noted it would look bad if the motion was removed, as it wasn’t repetitive or stupid (unfortunately the Exec ran out of time to put the motion “That the Exec supports flooding the stadium for pirate ship battles” to an online vote). The rest of the Exec agreed, and voted to keep the motion in. With that, the meeting was abruptly cut short as Imogen ran out the door. Hooray. 11


Thousands of tertiary students around New Zealand will unexpectedly have their access to student loans cut off after it was discovered that the legislation changes introduced this year will take into account 2009 academic results. The law changes, introduced in the 2010 Budget, mean that students who fail more than half of their course over a period of 1.6 Equivalent Full-Time Study (approximately two years) or more will be refused access to Student Loan scheme. However, when the scheme was announced, it was generally assumed that the changes would only take affect from the 2010 academic year onwards. This is not, in fact, the case. The requirement to pass more than half of course taken will be judged on a rolling basis, with a “rolling five-year assessment period” applying. This means that once a student reaches 1.6EFTS all their results will count for a period of five years, with results dropping out once five years of study has been reached. The revelation that this change will be back-dated to include 2009 results means that thousands of students are likely to

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be denied access to student loans and will have to self-fund their study until they pass enough courses to move them back over the 50 percent threshold. The implications of this are that many students will be unlikely to be able to remain in study, since the blocking of access applies to both fees and living costs. Otago Polytechnic Chief Executive Phil Ker told TVNZ that 20 percent of the Polytech’s students would be denied access when 2009 results were included. Ker said that this had the potential to financially cripple the institution. However, Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce was unrepentant about the effects of the changes, telling TVNZ, “I struggle with the fact that the chief executive of one of our larger polytechnics has not taken the time to read the changes that are there, so that’s over to him, but they were clearly announced at the time.” The exact number of students affected is currently unknown, but Joyce indicated that around 9000 students were likely to be affected.


Monday Mayhem ensued in the early hours of last Sunday morning as part of George Street was shut down by police when a student party in the Robbie Burns complex was evacuated due to a fire alarm. The house party was spread across two flats in the upstairs Robbie Burns complex, and reportedly had upwards of 200 people attending, many of whom hadn’t been invited but had gate crashed on their way into town. The party was hosted by Dunedin gig promoters SoundForge. Deputy Chief Fire Officer Trevor Tilyard tells Critic that the Fire Service arrived just after 1am on Sunday, and started evacuating the building. However, he says the building was “severely overcrowded,” and that many party-goers were “intoxicated and reluctant to evacuate.” One of the attending fire officers says “In my opinion, had there been an actually fire, evacuation could not have taken place and there would have been loss of life.” It took sixteen minutes to clear the apartments completely, after which several police officers arrived to herd the 150-plus crowd down George Street into town. They

parked squad cars along George Street while this took place, effectively shutting that section of the street down for approximately half an hour. One of the flat tenants spoke to Critic, saying many people who hadn’t been invited had overcrowded the party. “We invited a few people, some of whom didn’t show up, but a lot of people who we didn’t know turned up … we have a few tips on who pulled the alarm, but they hadn’t been invited.” A second alarm at the same complex was pulled at 6am that morning, dragging the Fire Service out once more. It was another false alarm, pulled by people unknown to the tenants. “Three people were seen running out of our complex just after the alarm. One was wearing a uniform from a nearby pub.” The tenants now have a $3000 bill because of the two callouts, and are asking people present at the party to help them out. SoundForge are holding a benefit gig after the Kora concert this weekend to help cover the expensive bill.

OUSA Teaching Awards Voting Opens “The Role of RHO Kinase Activation in Modulating Blood Flow Distribution in Pulmonary Hypertension” 1pm, Hercus d’Ath Lecture Theatre

Tuesday “White is the New Black? The 2010 Football Frenzy and the New Zealand Imagination” 2pm, Room 2.04, Commerce Building

Wednesday “Imag(in)ing the Ideal Citizen: Sex Education in New Zealand since the 1950s” 1pm, Burns 5

Thursday OUSA Grants Applications Close “Tsunami in Samoa – Public Health Lessons from a Developing Country” 4pm, Room 033, Adams Building

Friday OUSA Teaching Awards Voting Closes Applications close for admission to second-year Law and professional Health Sciences programmes, Physical Education, and Social and Community Work 13


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The Uni Print Shop’s annual photo competition celebrated diversity this year. Jenny Longstaff’s untitled photograph took out the top prize.

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Art Attack The University of Otago College of Education was subject to an “art attack” by group ArTarts last Monday. ArTarts were protesting against new funding allocations within the College of Education, which they claim will reduce art tuition to teachers by 25%. The “art attack” was carried out after staff and pupils had finished for the day, and involved the planting of white crosses in the College courtyard lawn spelling out the word ARTS. The Otago Daily Times was tipped off about the “art attack” by a woman who requested she remain anonymous. She also clarified that ArTarts were not college staff members, but women who supported the teaching staff. ArTarts base themselves on the New York pro-feminist artist group Guerrilla Girls, who protest against discrimination through visual art demonstrations.

University Researchers Secure $10million in Marsden Funding Researchers at the University of Otago have secured over $10million in the latest round of Marsden Funding. All in all 19 projects received funsing, with researchers spread across the Divisions of Health Sciences, Humanities and Sciences. For the sixth year running Otago secured more funding than any other University in New Zealand. The 19 grants range from $296,000 up to $888,000 over three years, and are intended to fund world class research projects investigating everything from atomic physics to societal conflict resolution.

Dropping like flies Christchurch Campus Largely Operational Students at the University of Otago’s Christchurch campus returned to class fairly quickly, just over a week after the devastating earthquake on September 4th. The University’s Christchurch School of Medicine building, built in 1973 and adjoined to Christchurch Hospital, sustained relatively minor damage in the earthquake, however the St Elmo’s Court building, where the University leases space, was unable to be re-occupied at the present time. Staff have been praised for their stoic efforts in the workplace, as they also have to deal with trying personal circumstances. Christchurch Dean Professor Peter Joyce told the Otago Bulletin that staff have been “using all their personal networks and supporting each other”. All staff had been affected by the quake, with some likely to lose their homes as a result.

OUSA Education Officer Stephanie Reader has resigned from the Executive. Reader resigned for personal reasons, which Critic understands are connected to her gaining a job in Auckland.Reader is the fourth member of the 2010 Exec to quit. International Student Rep Art Kojarunchitt is also a recent casualty, having left the country five weeks ago. Kojarunchitt has as yet failed to formally resign from the Exec but it is understood that he will do so in the near future.

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Lesley Paris is a fixture of the Dunedin music scene. She began in the 1980s as a drummer in the band Look Blue Go Purple, worked for Flying Nun records, and has been “head poncho” at Radio One for a number of years. Julia Hollingsworth had a chat to Lesley about drugs, sex, and cheese rolls. What’s your favourite band? Oooh, today my favourite band is The Clean. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a teacher because my sister was a teacher. And I wanted to be a writer. And then I got a job in a record store. Why did you join Look Blue Go Purple? We formed it really. We had lots of friends in bands. I went to school with Boardgames so like Shane Carter and stuff, who became the Double Happys after that, and then the Straightjacket Fits. We were friends with people from Logan Park like the Verlaines and The Chills. So I was hanging out, and I had a go playing the drums. I really liked it, so I became a drummer. I really wanted to be in a band with my friend Denise, and we decided our band would be all girls. What did you do after Look Blue Go Purple”? I played in The Puddle later in the eighties, and I played in a little band called Buster. Then I moved to Auckland to work at Flying Nun, doing imports and sales. I gave myself the job title ‘Project Control’ because it sounded like a Bailterspace song title. Then I went insane and left. I worked at my friend’s clothing store, Bunny. Then I moved back to Dunedin and did a Visual Culture degree at Otago. I started doing postgrad, but I got sick of being poor and got the big job at Radio One (Not the breakfast host, obviously). Which has been amazing. What was your favorite rock and roll moment? Hmm, the only thing I can think of is so daft! Look Blue Go Purple and The Weeds played at Windsor Castle. We built a human pyramid on stage between sets. We just climbed in, we were so daft and uncool, and everyone was like “What are these Dunedin people doing?” We used to do it at parties a lot, and jump off fridges and mantelpieces. We made our own fun. We were quite happy to make dorks of ourselves if we were having fun. Who is the most surprising person you’ve ever woken up next to? I can’t answer that, I can’t remember! It was a wild rock and roll band. So, heroin. Was it a big thing? In Dunedin?! There’s the whole home bake scene, which P took over, but I wasn’t into that. We all just drank like fish. 16

What is your favourite Radio One moment? Radio One had a really great twenty-first birthday. The Straightjacket Fits and Die! Die! Die! playing at Sammy’s. It was super fun. As Radio One’s cheese roll reviewer, what do you look for in a cheese roll? Taste and simplicity. When they’re great, they’re really, really great. The best traditional cheese roll is from Garden Seat Café for $1.90. You’re soon leaving Radio One to go and work for Toroa Radio. What are you most excited about for your new role? It’s a whole new focus. It’s about putting minorities onto the air, the under-represented in the community onto radio. Student radio’s amazing. But I’m so Uni-centric these days. And I’m a Dunedin girl!


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By Caitlyn O’Fallon “Arthur or Martha? Let the commission decide!” was NZ First’s sensationalist response to the Human Rights Commission’s Transgender Inquiry in 2008. “If you’re born a male, you stay a male. If you’re born a female, you stay a female. If you want to start fiddling around and changing your body, that’s a decision you make and you must bear the consequences,” said Dail Jones, a member of the party at the time. Responses like these show that transphobia is alive and well in New Zealand. A big part of fear and intolerance is ignorance. Most people have never had the chance to speak with a trans person about their lives and choices. It is not something we’re taught about at school. On TV and in the movies, trans characters are the butt of jokes or depicted as very disturbed individuals. Even when trans people are portrayed sympathetically, it’s as people with an unfortunate medical condition where their bodies and brains are at odds. In reality, there is huge diversity within the group of people who identify as transgender. Critic spoke to two Otago students, Travis and Jake, who identify as trans males, about their unique stories and what it means to be trans.

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ravis never considered that he could be a trans man until he was at university. “I didn’t have the concept of it before. My story is not that ever since I was little I knew I was a boy. My story is that I grew up as a girl, and that was all right, I had a pretty fine childhood. But once I had that framework, once someone said “I’m a trans man,” suddenly this world opened up to me ... then suddenly in my mind things just felt like they clicked, which was terrifying. But it felt very real.” Jake’s journey from a girl to a trans guy was gradual. “I had a really non-gendered childhood. I didn’t really think about the concept of gender except that I was told that girls can do anything. Including, as one of our trans guy friends said, “become boys.” I remember getting into high school and thinking, I don’t feel like a normal girl, and I thought that’s because I’m gay, or because I’m bi, or because I’m queer, or because I’m something. And that was fine. I did the kind of dyke-y thing from when I was about 15, and still dated guys, because I didn’t feel like I couldn’t, and that was okay too. Queer would have been a good word but I didn’t know it at the time.” It wasn’t until Jake went overseas during university and met a larger group of queer people that he realised what was possible. “I discovered there were all these different ways you could be queer, with gender and sexuality.” By the time he got back to New Zealand, Jake had realised that he definitely wasn’t a girl. “It’s been a gradual shift towards [me realising that] what feels more and more comfortable is being treated more like a male person than a female person. But I don’t want to disown my female history. I like being a trans boy – I don’t just want to be a boy, because that wouldn’t be my past and my body, that would be something else. But certainly not all trans people feel that way. Some people just straight up identify as male and there’s nothing trans about it for them.” The media seems to focus on one particular view of trans people. As Travis put it, “it’s focused on sex change! And scandal! And this girl thinks she’s a boy!” The popular idea of transgender people, and also often the medical idea, is of someone who is trapped in the wrong body. The story is of a person who has always known that they were the ‘opposite’ sex: little boys who wear dresses and play with dolls and don’t understand why they can’t grow up to be women.

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Some people genuinely identify with this narrative, and some don’t – it’s important to understand that there are multiple narratives and ways of expressing and experiencing our genders. Media and popular culture also emphasise surgery. The words ‘pre-op’ and ‘post-op’ are very common, despite the fact that surgery changes the outside appearance rather than someone’s identity, and is not a choice every trans person makes. Travis finds this frustrating. “I’m still trans regardless of the medical system. I’m always going to be a trans man, that’s what I am. I don’t need surgeries to make me something else, it’s more to help everyone else along.” The focus on surgery stretches as far as the legal system. A trans person in New Zealand cannot change the sex noted on their birth certificate until they have made a “permanent physical change” towards the “nominated sex.” Not only does this punish trans people who are unwilling or unable to undergo major surgery, but as Jake points out, “it’s so incredibly classist. Surgery is incredibly expensive. There is a huge amount of trans people who will never be able to afford surgeries, and those people should still be treated as their gender identity. We should all be able to say what we are.” Although being transgender is not all about medical treatment, health care for trans people is very important. In New Zealand, there are currently no standard guidelines as to how transgender individuals are treated by the medical profession. There is a wide variation in the knowledge and understanding of gender identity issues between GPs, endocrinologists, surgeons, and others involved in caring for transgender people. Jake is involved in a national project that aims to produce recommendations on improving access to and consistency of healthcare for trans people and creating a ‘how to’ resource for health practitioners working with them. He wants to see the system moving away from acting as gatekeepers whose role is to limit access to treatments like hormones and surgery, and towards supporting trans people and focusing on well-being. The medical view of gender variation tends to focus on the diagnosis of ‘gender identity disorder’. This is a psychiatric condition that is applied to someone who identifies strongly with another gender and feels uncomfortable with one’s ‘own’ gender, over a long period of time. For many trans people, the assumption that they must be mentally ill to feel the way they do is inherently offensive. As well, there is the problem that this diagnosis does not acknowledge the diversity of gender identities and presentations that exist. There are growing numbers of people who are refusing to accept the gender binary, the idea that there are only two possible or acceptable genders. There are people who identify as third gender or bigender or genderqueer, which as Jake explains is “someone who identifies as both or neither or something different altogether,” or as any other of a huge variety of descriptions. There is also an idea that for some people gender is fluid, and can change over time. “I’ve been a girl, a gender queer person, a trans boy – and none of these genders were ‘wrong’, it just shifted over time,” Jake says. “Like everyone else, I grow and change, and so does my sense of myself as a gendered and sexual person.” 20


The Vocab

a gender queer “person,I’ve abeentransa girl, boy - and none of these genders were ‘wrong’, it just shifted over time. Like everyone else, I grow and change, and so does my sense of myself as a gendered and sexual person.

However a person defines themselves, choosing to change their external appearance to match their identity is an important step. “Gender is such a social construct – when I felt my gender was ‘boy’ and everyone around me thought it was ‘girl’, it was quite a process to get to the point where I insisted people see me and relate to me as a boy, or as a more-male, less-female person,” Jake says. “It’s empowering because I asked for, and got, recognition of the person that I am by the world around me.” In some ways, it can also be a scary process. “I think it’s important to acknowledge the hard stuff as well as the good stuff,” says Travis, “I feel incredibly angry that people feel they have the right to yell at us, or stare.” Trans people have a greater risk of violence than the general population, and Jake and Travis have both been harassed for the way they present their gender, facing transphobic and homophobic verbal assaults. Jake wants to emphasise, however, that trans people aren’t all abused and miserable. “There’s definitely a real danger involved in presenting a different kind of gender… That goes for anyone, trans or not. I’m frustrated by the media telling us that trans people are either the victims or perpetuators of violence.” Often, the opposite is true. Both Jake and Travis have had very positive experiences with social support, particularly with the queer community around the university. However, Otago has further to go before it can really call itself trans-friendly. Often it’s the simple things that make the difference, like having single-stall unisex toilets available on campus. Automatically walking into the right bathroom is something most students take for granted, but trans students can find themselves in a position where whichever one they choose, their presence there is likely to be questioned. There are things students themselves can do to make the campus a friendlier place for trans people. For a start, said Jake, “one of my thoughts would be stop policing gender, in general, on everyone.” It’s not only trans people who suffer from bullying, abuse, or discrimination because they don’t fit the gender role society expects of them. Over the last century, so many of the boundaries on what men and women can and can’t do have loosened, but there are still very different expectations on how men and women should behave. It’s hard to lose ingrained stereotypes about trans people. But in the end, we’re all people. As Travis says, “It’s great being trans. It’s hard as well. But that’s everyone’s life, everyone’s life is wonderful and hard.”

Words are important. Unfortunately, a lot of the words we can use to describe transgender individuals are not part of our everyday vocabulary. More unfortunately, a variety of derogatory words like ‘tranny’, ‘she-male’, and ‘cross-dresser’ are often what people use in their place. Here are some basics that will help out if you want to talk about gender without hurting people.

Transgender or trans: An umbrella term for individuals whose gender expression or gender identity varies from conventional expectations.

Trans man, trans guy, FTM (female to male): A transgender person who identifies as male.

Trans woman, trans girl, MTF (male to female): A transgender person who identifies as female.

Gender identity: What gender a person feels like on the inside.

Gender presentation: How someone chooses to show their gender to other people.

Pronouns: If you paid attention at school you’ll already know that pronouns are words like he, she, them, and that they are used in place of nouns. When talking about a trans person, it’s respectful to use the pronouns of the gender they present themselves as.

Transition: The personal, social and possibly medical process of moving from one gender to another.

Gender reassignment surgery: Surgery can be desired as a possible part of the transition process. Stop calling it a sex change. There are many kinds of surgery available to transgender individuals and many different ways to describe them. Gender reassignment surgery is a pretty good general term.

Transsexual: Someone who identifies with the sex opposite to the one they were born with, often someone who has had gender reassignment surgery. For many people this word has a negative association with the diagnosis of transgender as a mental disorder.

Gender binary: The view that gender can be neatly classified into two genders (and two genders only), male and female

Gender queer: A term used by some individuals who have a gender identity other than man or woman. Someone may identify as gender queer because they feel like neither a man nor a woman, or that they have elements of both. 21


Q. What is ‘queer? A. Read this article and find out… Q. Who is queer? A. Anyone who identifies as queer. Self-identification is the key: no one else can tell you who you are, only you will know. You can name yourself as queer, or queer positive, or not queer – it is up to you. Usually the term appeals to people who feel that their gender or sexuality is not able to be contained in labels or described by stereotypes. Q: Where are the queers? A: Everywhere! Q: How can I be queer? (or queer positive, or a queer ally?) A: You can be queer in whatever way you like! And you can support queer people by not making queerphobic comments or policing other people’s gender expression. It’s awesome when a non-queer person sticks up for queer people and says, for example: “Hey, actually I don’t like it when you say, ‘that’s so gay’. Find another word.” Q: Why do you like the word, concept, or movement of queerness? A: Because to me it emcompasses a huge range of things, like resistance to what is considered ‘normal’, for example, not buying into the images of people (straight, gay, bisexual, transgender, whatever….) that we see in blockbuster movies and pseudoscientific TV ONE documentaries. I feel excited about the word ‘queer’ because I choose it: I choose to describe myself as different and valuable, as critical of the status quo, as creative and productive and interested in dialogue and workshops and learning from other people as much or more as they learn from me. I can be proud of my body and I can fall in love with people beyond considerations of their identity categories. 22

Being assigned the task of introducing queerness to an audience of the uninitiated and the intimately affected is both a privilege and a burden. We are always happy to write about queerness and queer people. We love queerness and queer people and this is a cause that we live every day, advocate for, and work towards in our various roles. Yet, we are also aware that in writing this piece we will miss things out, or lend an artificial stability to a concept that is essentially rebellious and fluid. As such, we speak as ourselves – Jamie, Sam and Joey – revealing our own particular takes on queerness in the form of an amorphous queer blob. You might not know who is who, what our genders are, or will be, or who and how we love, lust, and fuck. But sit back and relax, and breathe through the uncertainty.

What queer means to me. Being queer is, for me, a way of being both specific and vague about who I am and the people I am attracted to or likely to fall in love with. My gender is queer (genderqueer transboy) and I am drawn to people who are different, who are interesting to me. Often these people are gorgeously gender diverse themselves. Usually they also identify as queer in some way. “Queer it up!” Queer is an adjective; a noun; a verb: I am queer, I am a queer, I queer the world around me. To queer something means to rework it, to illuminate it, to reveal the social construction of concepts like ‘male’ or ‘female’ or ‘transgender’ while also revelling in their usefulness and uniqueness. To queer something is to do it over again, do it differently, do it my way. Reject, restructure, recreate, reverse, relearn, reverberate, resonate. Queer is not exclusive: if you want it, you got it. Queer is often a parody of so-called real life or ‘normality’. When I write or speak queerly I speak from my own self, my body, my power, my perspective. I recognise that I am only one person in one place and yet I am connected to many other people in many places. Queer is contradictory and paradoxical, it does not make sense. It shows me that making sense of something can require undermining it, understanding what holds it up, why it exists, rejecting it and reinventing it in my own queerlogic. Queer is questioning. For example: whose interests are served by the insistence that white people are the norm, that heterosexuality is the best sexuality, that upper-class people are better than everyone else? Not mine. Gay, lesbian, tom, dee, dyke, fag, transgender, M2F, bisexual, pansexual, intersex, butch, femme, Takatapui, Fa’afafine, kathoey, hijra, whakawahine, F2M, queer, both, genderqueer, camp, gay-queen, gay-king, saopraphet soong , panthi, twospirit, asexual, omnisexual, and on and on … Queerness to me is power. It is freeing myself to speak with a tongue that feels authentic to me. It is answering back. Queerness is (pro)claiming my desire and seeing that desire as beautiful. It is seeing my body as sacred and genderless, beautiful beyond the norms that magazines try to sell me. It is refusing to adhere to strict gender binaries that don’t work for me, tiptoeing along the boundaries of masculinities and dipping my toes into the warm waters of femininities. It is sitting down to pee. Queerness is imagining possibilities of living otherwise, being whole. It is waking up next to my boyfriend. It is sharing makeup with my girlfriends, and swapping scarves. Queerness to me is being a boy planting a garden full of pansies and picking wild flowers to take along to a dinner party. It is telling my Mum I want moisturiser and a yoga membership for Christmas. Queerness for me is feeling uncomfortable when someone asks me if I have seen any pretty girls or am I married. It has meant feeling sad that I didn’t measure up to what my parents expected me to be, and now feeling delighted that they are proud of who I am, and what I fight for today.


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theres a queer!

For me, Queer means freedom. Queer frees me from the shackles of the people in power who tell me who I’m ‘supposed’ to be. Queer frees me from the gendered changing rooms, and clothing lines, the skirts I felt obligated to hide under, and the waistcoats and ties I longed to put on. Queer frees my soul: it’s subversive, it’s strength, it’s pride, it’s rebellion, it’s visibility, it’s tearing down your expectations, it’s deconstructing your ideas, it’s challenging your perspectives. Queer is doing things differently, creating a new vision, fighting oppression, making things heard and known, standing up. Queer is dancing. Queer is holding my boyfriend’s hand as we walk down the street. Queer is watching you feel so threatened that you are compelled to yell out ‘fag’ at us. Queer is doing it anyway. Queer is my identity, my politics, my aesthetic, my family, my gender, my sexuality, my thoughts, my art. Queer is me dancing around my bedroom to Lady Gaga in my underwear and socks, singing as loudly as I can.

Why is it powerful? Queerness is powerful because it reveals that the so-called ‘real’ straight world is all smoke and mirrors. ‘Men’ and ‘women’, ‘boys’ and ‘girls’, ‘straight’ and ‘gay’ all become parts we play. It is not that you are right or I am right, it is just that ‘right thinking’ doesn’t exist. Queerness frees us to ask questions about power and privilege. Who gets to decide what normal is? How does this come to be? What is taken for granted? Queerness helps me realise that I am not a failure as a man, I am simply another kind of man who is caring, loving, compassionate, and likes face masks; I am a girly-kinda-boy and that makes me happy. Queerness is powerful because it attunes me to radical politics of difference, it helps me understand the pleasure/pain of being on the outside and makes me an ally to struggles of class, race, and ability. Queerness is powerful because it says: I know your rules, I just don’t want to play your game. Queerness is powerful because it helps me ask and answer questions. Why is it that as a white person I don’t have to specify my race or ethnicity if I don’t want to, whereas if I was a person of colour (read: any tint at all except that acquired from a cancerous sunbed) I would be expected to ‘have a race’ and ‘be an ethnicity’? Why is white so non-specific? One possible answer: because being non-specific means being everywhere and being the norm, that which everyone else is judged in relation to. In New Zealand our colonial history creates/enforces the system in which pakeha are visible (as normal majority) and invisible (as a constructed ‘norm’ that shores up privilege by designating difference as abnormal, inferior, or other). How can I be myself? How can I be okay with people being different to me? When do I need to speak up and when do I need to step back? I feel empowered as a queer activist and writer: instead of trying to be objective, correct, and logical, I can be myself. Sometimes I am ANGRY. Sometimes SAD. Sometimes GLORIOUSLY GIGGLY. Sometimes JEALOUS. Sometimes FRIENDLY. Sometimes QUIET. Sometimes CONFUSED. Sometimes CONTENT. However I am, if I speak from

Over there?

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WHERE?

myself I am truthful and real and passionate. I want to hear other people speak; I want to lighten up, I want to have fun, I want to be able to talk seriously, I want to be able to want without feeling guilty or ashamed. Queer is powerful because it reminds me that my desires are important, worthwhile, and fagalicious. Queer = Re-evolving Revolution. Queer is powerful because it is explosive. It rocks our foundations and dismantles the age-old ideas that seek to oppress those without power. It refutes the rhetoric that privileges ‘normal’, bursts our perceptions, and erupts our expectations. Queer smashes the labels and categories that box us in and hold us back. Queer tells us not to abide by rules just because we’re told to. Queer is powerful because it is surprising. Queer is unpredictable: it pops up where we least expect it to and will not ever settle. Queer is startling as it fights the pervasive injustices that have become invisible. Queer opens up unforeseen and unending possibilities of how we live, how we can be, and who we are. Queer is powerful because it is everywhere. Queers stand up globally and refuse pejoratives and dismissals. Queers won’t be shut out, put down, or cast aside: queers will be seen, heard, and felt. Queers will be treated with the same dignity and respect as everyone else.

How you can be a queer ally

Where you can get support:

• Support your friends who possess all kinds of beautiful differences. • Fight fatphobia, queerphobia, racism (we can be brown and queer), sexism, ablism, class oppression, and bigotry in all forms wherever you can. • Come along to queer events: Queerest Tea Parties, Parfait, L Ball, DVD nights. • Mind your own business. You don’t have the right to know what my genitals look like, or whom I fantasise about, unless I want to tell you. • Be sex- and body-positive. • Fight for our human rights to marry, to adopt, and to be free from discrimination in Aotearoa, and for positive rights to queer sexuality across the world. • Don’t use spiritual beliefs as a way of separating people. • Don’t tolerate people using ‘gay’ as a pejorative. • Stop yelling “FAGGOT” as I walk home from the supermarket. • Allow yourself to fully express your own desires. • Watch a queer movie without having to reaffirm your hegemonic heterosexual masculinity or femininity. • Challenge norms. • Get informed. • Get angry. • Get loud.

The OUSA Queer Support Coordinator is the first place to go for support on campus. He offers confidential one-on-one conversations about any issues that are concerning you, and can connect you to other services for support. He organises a queer peer support program, as well as a weekly conversation group for people who are queer/ questioning. The OUSA Student Support Centre also has a resource library full of books and DVDs, which are free for students to borrow. Contact q.support@ ousa.org.nz for more information.

THAT'S AWSOME!

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Just Google it –

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Q:

No offense but are you a boy or a girl? No offense but why do you want to know? I will answer your question depending on who you are and the context in which you ask me.

Q:

How do lesbians have sex? A truly illuminating question. The answer? With lots of orgasms.

Q:

It’s such a shame. Don’t you want to get married and, like, have kids and stuff? Yes. No. Maybe. How about you help me get some rights to marry my partner and adopt children in New Zealand, and then we can talk.

Q:

Why do you find saying “that’s so gay” offensive? It’s no big deal. It’s no big deal? You are using my sexuality as a synonym for stupid or lame. It is offensive to me. Find a new word.

Q:

Hey, you’re gay right? Who wears the pants? Ummm, we have lots of pairs of pants, like probably at least ten each.

Q:

Can you tell who is queer and who is straight? Of course, my queerness also makes me psychic.

Q:

Why do all gay guys like Gaga and lesbians have short hair? Bitch please. It’s biological. Obviously.

Q:

Why do they have to kiss and hold hands in public? *slap* Why does anyone? I am so sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.

Q:

Why don’t you just be normal like everyone else? Boring. What is normal? Next question.

Q:

Will it work down there when you have the sex change? There are so many problems with this question I don’t know where to start. • Transitioning is a process that doesn’t necessarily depend on surgery. • The term ‘sex change’ is offensive. • There is more than one ‘operation’ in most cases. • ‘Work’ for whom? For you, or me, or someone else? • Fuck off.

Q:

Why are you so obsessed with queer issues, can’t you talk about something else? It makes me uncomfortable. Oh, a thousand apologies! I know that listening to how I have to fight for my rights can be a little traumatising for you. Imagine doing it daily. Change for the better happens with what you can do as an individual, and I’m doing my part, not just for me, but for everyone, and I will keep on talking about it.

Q:

Aren’t bisexuals just greedy? A: Hahahahahahaahahaha. Shut up or I will eat you. No, but seriously.

Q: Q: Q:

How can I help your movement? What can I do in my daily life to oppose heterosexism? Your hair is awesome! Where do you get it cut?


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Schmack OPINIONS AND STUFF...

31 SOAP BOX

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32 left / right 33 DEBATABLE 34 ODT WATCH 35 THIS WEEK.. / Sport 36 top 5 / APOCALYPSE 37 OUSA / TE ROOPU

38 LETTERS

40 bofs

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I love straight men ... No, really. I do. “Why is it,” I was asked, “that women get Women’s Week? We don’t get a Men’s Week.” I also often hear “Gays get a ‘Pride’ Week, but I bet they wouldn’t let us have a ‘Straight Pride’ Week.” Instead of responding to things I don’t like with vitriol, like I usually do, I thought I would offer a more elaborate rebuttal than just saying “Because you already have the other 50 weeks!” (OK, there’s going to be a little vitriol in this). As it turns out, straight men are insecure. For the last few decades, as Feminism and Queer Civil Rights really picked up steam, straight men have been having their stranglehold on society slowly, but forcibly, loosened. Straight men are still the dominant group in society, but their authority is being challenged, and that makes them insecure. If you’re so insecure in your masculinity that you need a special week to fellate your ego, then by all means, have a Men’s Week. However, before you rush out and install a blow-off valve in your car or whatever it is that straight guys do, note this: Women’s Week, Pride Week, Diversity Week, et alia are about dismantling stereotypes and misunderstandings, claiming a political voice and challenging the insecurities of wider society through visibility and supporting women, queers, and diverse ethnic groups by creating ‘safe’ spaces, both emotionally and physically, for a week. The truth is, straight men are unfairly affected by sexism and expected to behave in certain ways. Men are expected to be REAL MEN™ – to be the epitome of logic and reason, yet resolve everything with violence; be humble, yet win every fight. They are expected to tend to a woman’s ‘needs’, yet not give a shit about their feelings. They have to be good fathers, yet not invest any emotions in their children. They have to tread a fine line between looking stylish, yet looking messy. They can’t possibly be mistaken for being gay – even if they actually are. They have to enjoy watching and playing sport (personally, I’d rather watch grass grow while paint dries on it). They also absolutely have to have a penis – a big one; and be willing and able to prove it (though not really prove it, because that would be gay). All of these things tie men up in awkward, contradictory, illogical knots. No wonder straight men feel confused and insecure – especially in a society that’s also trying to pry a little of their power away for women and queers. If we are to have a Men’s Week, then it has to dismantle the impossible expectations of ‘straight’ men in today’s society. A couple of years ago, we did have a Men’s Week. It was lame. This year, we had ‘Manday’. Sport, violent video games, meat – this just reinforced the hyper-masculine stereotype. As a friend said, it was straight men saying “We have a voice too – and it’s deep.” While I agree that X-Box and barbecues are awesome, there’s much more to being a man than this. If straight men are insecure about losing their place in society, then it’s not going to be helped by having Manday-esque circle-jerks where you high-five each other and tell yourselves how awesome you are. Instead, men should be told they can still be REAL MEN™ without having to subscribe to the beer, tits, rugby, rally-cars, guns, explosions, steak, barbecue, sex, violence, carmaintenance, womanising, track-pants-wearing, hyper-masculine, bullshit stereotype that we keep getting sold. In reality, most of the straight men in my life don’t subscribe to this image. But time and time again this is the image we’re sold, this is the contemporary archetype male that is hammered into us. In advertising, on TV and in print we’re sold this lie over and over again. A common source of sitcom hijinks sees the blokeish main character fall slightly outside this ridiculous norm or (more hilariously, apparently) be caught up in some kind of ‘gay panic’ situation. Father’s Day seems to have less to do with parenting and more to do with power tools, and don’t get me started on department store Christmas catalogues’ ‘gifts for boys’ sections. This is what we keep being sold in spite of the fact that most men are not like this at all. Men, be they gay, straight, bi, queer, trans, or whatever, need to be sold the idea that they don’t have to resolve everything with a fight; they don’t have to win every argument; they don’t have to be tall and ‘rugged’ and physically strong. They should be told that they don’t need always to be ready to have sex with anyone (of the ‘correct’ gender); that they are allowed to date the ‘fat chick’; that they don’t have to be able to fix stuff or make lots of money or hide their emotions. And most importantly (from my perspective) they need to know that being called ‘gay’ is not an insult. If a guy hits on you in a bar, take the compliment and politely decline, don’t have a mini freak-out. These are issues that we must own collectively – not just those outside the norm, but everyone who comfortably sits in it too. But, if you’d still rather cling to your insecurities, then by all means, keep your Mandays and your rugby and your beer; just don’t be baffled when you get no respect in return. By Richard Girvan 31


T

he Earth is bursting at the seams with people. Too. Many. People. Killing. The. Earth. This is not a popular topic as it brings to mind visions of genocide, conspiracy theories of government-invented viruses, and fears of regulation, regulation, regulation! The sad fact is, though, we are asking more and more of our precious biosphere, and she is giving what she can, but she is also giving up. You can sceptically climatise the room with hot air all you like, but you just need to look at pollution levels and receding glaciers to know that we have done some dumb shit. But I have the solution. Let’s all go queer! You know, because it is totally a choice. Those filthy gays choose to bum-fuck each other, and they’re doing us all a great service by not ejaculating into fertile orifices. The lesbians too, they are wonderful! They dutifully enjoy one another’s curves while not contributing to the devil-spawn that is the human race. Is it a choice though, really? Are queers actually sinning by choosing to have a different view on what is sexy? On what is right for them personally? I think not. I think you are attracted to who you are attracted to and that should be not only accepted, but entrenched in our psyche. But of course, it is not. It is the same neo-liberal religious right ideology that fucks our planet that also tells you not to love your own kind. What the fuck is it to them? They want to be free in their own homes to beat the devil out of their children, but not let you be free in yours to make love to your same-sex partner?! That’s right, if you are heterosexual, you are more likely to get married and have a plethora of little consumers wanting more and more and more out of your brilliant and all-encompassing economy. You can make laws that only benefit heterosexuals and you can make homosexuals feel marginalised so that they freak out, find God, and enter into fantastic fake marriages and spawn consuming families from loveless partnerships. Go, religious right! You’ve got it going on! My advice? look at our conventions and our norms and ask where they came from. You may find yourself crossing the divide to the left if you are really a critical, conscious thinker. If you do not, on the other hand, then I wish you well in your meaningless crusade to get rich, hate diversity, be ‘independent’, fuck the planet, spawn your little planet-fucking clones into planet-fucking activities, and fuck the planet away. With the lights off and all undergarments intact, of course.

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avid Garrett was always the wrong choice for the ACT party, and his downfall is either going to save them or destroy them. While ACT has been seriously damaged, I doubt the party can be written off at this stage. ACT has shown a great ability to revive themselves come election-time. The National Party needs them; otherwise they are left with the potential coalition partners of the Maori Party, and a spectre of NZ First. That means they can only lean towards the centre, lacking any support from a more right-wing partner. Plenty of voters need them, too: the economic liberal voters who don’t think that National is going far enough have to vote for someone, and ACT is pretty much their only option. The social liberals are now better served by the main parties, but fighting for liberal values within those monoliths is less effective than when it is backed up by several seats in Parliament. Law and order hardliners were never ACT’s ‘natural’ voter base; they were incidental to the angry rich vote. But centrist parties like Labour, National, and NZ First are happy to jump on that bandwagon and screw the criminals. ACT should be publicly testing potentially controversial and more extreme ideas before National commits support and providing another, more liberal perspective. They lost their way, and are now provided with an excellent opportunity to get back on track. They may be better off still with a new face fronting the leadership. Rodney Hide was their saviour in yellow at the last election, but his brand is growing old, and it may be time for him to go. He ended up looking bad after making use of his benefits, and has not shown strong leadership when faced with problematic MPs. The problem with dumping him is how ACT can get into Parliament without him. The bright voters of Epsom could always support a non-Rodney ACT candidate, but apart from the negative connotations of Rogernomics and links to political scandal, the name recognition of their current MPs is relatively low. So maybe it is time for ACT to go. The relationships within their caucus are obviously strained, whether admitted internally or not. No one jumps out as an obvious successor for the leadership. Some MPs are inspiring but not competent, and the competent possibilities do not appear to be that inspiring. It is the divisions within rather than the scandals on the surface that have the power to push them under forever. But if they do go, they will be replaced. An absence of ACT would leave an empty space to the right of the political spectrum, and a number of otherwisedisenfranchised voters who want a low tax, business friendly party that doesn’t get hung up on reactionary populism. And they need a voice less crazy than that of the LibertariaNZ to fill it.


Leah: Otago should offer a LGBT studies course. LGBT individuals are an important part of contemporary society, and LGBT studies could provide valuable insight into the history of LGBT movements; the experience of LGBT individuals today; and the role of LBGT issues in literature and literary theory. LGBT individuals make up an ever-increasing group in New Zealand society, and scholarship on LGBT topics is a sphere that needs to be opened up. Studying the experience of LGBT individuals within society can be beneficial in many ways. It can give insight into group dynamics, minority experience, and media or social perceptions. Studies undertaken with the aim of improving the experience of LGBT individuals can help shape and improve this experience. On a critical level, LGBT studies should be undertaken to analyse the idea of normative sexuality, and examine how these norms affect our society. LGBT studies can also provide insight into the role of sexuality in culture and politics worldwide. The political dimension of LGBT history is an especially important one, as LGBT movements have created significant historical milestones. One example of this is the role of LGBT activists in the counter-culture movement of the 1960s. The LGBT movement took shape throughout the twentieth century, and the 1969 Stonewall Riots of New York City were a major historical event. Awareness of minority group issues is an important step in improving the experience of those groups, whether through political protest, or through scholarship and understanding. Papers in LGBT Studies could provide an important foundation for scholars of LGBT theory, with the aim of greater awareness of LGBT issues in the future. Due to the actions of LGBT individuals in the past, anti-LGBT sentiments are decreasing, and anti-LGBT laws have rapidly been done away with. Studying the history of LGBT issues and movements can provide further insight into these underrepresented angles of traditional history, and allow a greater understanding of the role that LGBT movements have played in shaping our society as we know it today. Papers in LGBT studies can aid societal and ideological progression, and further develop and improve the experience of the LGBT group. For these reasons, Otago should offer a LGBT studies course.

Simon: As is obvious to anyone who keeps up with the LGBT world, gay rights are no longer issues as big as during the Stonewall riots or the AIDS pandemic. Not even the demagogue Tamaki and his hellfireand-brimstone rhetoric surrounding the passing of the Civil Union legislation in 2004 could disguise the fact that gay people have been out and proud for years and it doesn’t really bother anyone short of hard-line religious nuts and homophobes, who are in a minority that no one takes any serious notice of. Gay men can do practically everything short of giving blood. Why is it suddenly necessary to create a course to encourage acceptance when, clearly, that acceptance prevails across most of society? Besides, even if you were trying to create acceptance, how would putting on a course that none of the people you’re trying to target would ever take in any way help? Secondly, it seems patronising to introduce a course that lumps together gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people in one big, happy group with all the same issues. Being gay, I barely comprehend the issues of most young gay men, let alone the plight of transsexuals or of the problems of young lesbians today. Behind the moniker ‘LGBT’ lie four very different groups of people and within those groups many differing identities and the issues that go with them. To suggest that it is possible to create ‘one size fits all’ papers to discuss the varying, very different issues surrounding these communities shows a complete lack of understanding and a totally stereotyped point of view. In fact, it is this type of false education we should be trying to prevent. Finally, on a minor point, in a university where we’re downsizing as it is (Design Department – ‘nuf said), where are we going to find the money and resources to get someone to write the papers, teach them, buy the course materials and implement all of the practical aspects? Just take a Gender Studies paper, why the need for a new specific course? At Otago today, an LGBT course is neither needed nor wanted. This proposal smacks of tokenism, is extraordinarily infeasible and is simply a waste of time.

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. They meet every Tuesday at 7pm in Commerce 2.20. 33


Operator: ODT subscriptions, how can I help? Critic: My ODT has not been delivered in two weeks. What is going on? Operator: And you took two weeks to call!? Critic: Yes, I know. Slack. Operator: I’ll see what I can do [typing noises] Critic: Thanks – my address is … Operator: Oh, I see, an easy explanation – the delivery guy noticed that many ODTs have been left piling up in the letter box – Critic: Ah, yes. Operator: They were worried that you were away on holiday, it becomes a security issue, you see – Critic: Oh right. Yeah. We kinda just let them pile up. Operator: Why? Critic: Weird reading habits, I guess, we just collect it once a week and read it all at once. I guess, it, err, it just gets too much to read every day. Operator: Ooookay – Critic: Mmmm. Operator: That is very strange – Critic: Yes, I’m very sorry. We’re students, you see. Every day is a bit intense. Operator: Right. It’s just that it does become a security issue if it appears no one is home. Critic: Understandable. Operator: Look, I will pass this onto Delivery. Critic: Thanks so much, we’ll try our best to read the ODT every day from now on.

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W

The cowboy

ith all the violence, debauchery, lewdness, drunkenness, and ugly cows present in Dunedin these days, one could almost think they’d stumbled across a wild west frontier town. With such an unruly band of miscreants going around and making trouble for local lawmen, someone needs to rise and clean up this town. This week Matthew, I’m going to be a Cowboy. Now I’m assuming that most of you have not had the chance to spend 20 years living in a harsh and inhospitable environment where you are in as much danger from your fellow man as you are from a rattlesnake, so this is going to be a crash course. The first thing anyone notices about a Cowboy is their unique, bow-legged gait; they look like they are trying to walk and give birth at the same time. This is due to the fact that they were always riding horses, but as you don’t have one of those, try and spread your legs as far apart as possible. The girls of UniCol master this trick almost effortlessly. Don’t be fooled into thinking that all cowboys wear checkered shirts; those are reserved for hillbillies and butch lesbian women. The humble bandana is also a classic staple of traditional cowboy attire; not only does it shield you from wind and trail dust, it also conceals your identity when holding up a bank or –more likelya 24/7. The most obvious piece of attire however, is of course the iconic Stetson Cowboy hat. Known as a ‘ten gallon hat’ for its large size, it is generally thought that the larger the hat, the more well endowed the Cowboy wearing it; so obviously go as big as possible. Once all that’s sorted, throw on a pair of leather chaps to complete your look and protect your legs. Do make sure you wear something under them though; assless chaps will make you look like an entirely different stereotype altogether.
 You may have noticed, cowboys have a unique manner of speaking; a half-hillbilly, half-James Bond villain kind of accent. This is easy to master with little effort. Speak in confusing and exaggerated metaphors; such as when talking to your nemesis, “this town ain’t big enough for the two of us”. Presumably the town is of course big enough for the two of you, but the metaphor sounds powerful and ominous. Use dated and archaic vocabulary; instead of ‘dude’, use “pardner”; instead of ‘let’s leave’, use “let’s get the heck outta Dodge”; instead of ‘fuck’, use “tarnation”. Remember to be condescending towards women; call them “gals” or “darlin’s”. Men do the real work; you wouldn’t want them to bruise any of their dainty little pinkies.
 Being a cowboy certainly isn’t an easy task; you have to face the harshness of your environment as well as the harshness of your fellow man. Get out there and clean up the miscreants and outlaws and who knows, a darlin’ might even reward you with a nice tarnation for your trouble.

H

omosexuality is slowly becoming accepted into the mainstream of our society, but one place where many still hide their sexuality is on the sports field. That’s not to say all sports or athletes are homophobic, but sport does remain one area where homosexual people find it difficult to be out. Want an example of the disconnect between the increasing acceptance of homosexualityin the mainstream and in sport? Try to think of one sporting star that is openly gay. It’s very difficult. By the law of averages there must high-profile athletes who are hiding the fact that they are homosexual. Imagine if it was revealed tomorrow that one of the current All Blacks is gay. What would your attitude towards that specific player and the team in general be? There is almost no denying that it would be a huge shock to most people: the All Black brand is on based on hard tough men something that is not in tune with the stereotype of a gay male. The sad thing is that there has probably been an All Black in this situation. Lesbianism is more accepted in sport than being a gay male, and female sporting stars have been coming out for years. This is probably due to the fact that sport is perceived as a masculine pursuit and the stereotypical image of gay men is anything but masculine. This is even worse when the whole idea of the sport is centred on masculinity. It’s hard to imagine any gay rugby union or league players being revered as much as Ritchie McCaw, no matter how great they were. There is one exception: Gareth Thomas. Thomas is a high profile international Welsh rugby player who has come out; according to Sports illustrated he is the only professional male team athlete in the world to be openly gay. He also contrasts heavily with the stereotypical idea of a gay men: he is missing eight teeth and is covered in tattoos for a start. His hope was that his coming out would help young men, in particular to deal with the demons which he has experienced for most of his adult life. Thomas has said he hopes that he doesn’t become known as a gay rugby player, which is a very fair call. The problem I have is not that there are no sports stars who acknowledge that they are gay, but rather that there are those who are gay but hide it because they are professional sporting stars. There will be many who are living a lie just because they are scared that by being gay they will be pushed from the sport they love. For homosexuality to become a normal part of our society, homosexual men and women must be accepted in all areas of society, and this includes sport.

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Types of Letters Written to Critic The letters section is probably the most-read part of Critic. Generally speaking, the content almost always comes in the same format – trivial and whiney. 5. Political Bullshit: Politics is one of those boring things

that come up all the time in the letters. Sure, there’s no doubt that some of these issues are important but the sheer number of stupid ideological debates puts people off. Many of the people who are super keen on politics tend to think of their debates as some sort of intellectual, thought-providing spectacle that will leave everyone agreeing with whatever viewpoint they have. Unfortunately, the debate is usually about as progressive and thought-provoking as two drunk baboons trying to solve the same Rubik’s Cube. You’d think that those on the right would realise that a free market doesn’t always work and those on the left would realise that not every capitalist wants to suppress you and eat your children. Dreams are free, I guess. 4. Pointless Whinging: On the other end of the spectrum, there are the people who write in to whine about the stupidest things. Most of whinging ranges from shit that most people don’t care about such as “OMG, stop wearing tights as pants! I wish that the fashion police would shoot you on sight,” to shit that absolutely no one cares about, such as only getting two pieces of salami on your sandwich at Franks. Really? You have to write in about that? I mean it’s not like there are starving children in Africa or that you could just write a letter to the manager or anything. 3. Random/Funny: That being said, some letters contain

hilarious complaints. Like that dude who wrote in about having the toilet flush and it getting his balls wet. It’s the kinda thing you read that makes you lean back thoughtfully on your chair and say to yourself, “Yeah ... I don’t think I’d enjoy having my balls wet either.” 2. Hate mail: This is my favourite. They always go along the lines

of something like “Dear fucker who *insert foul deed* my *insert item of low to moderate importance*.” Either that, or hating on freshers, which is entirely justified. Although, at least freshers are nicer than second-years, who are just more arrogant, retarded versions of freshers. Damn, there goes my main demographic. 1. Good Samaritan: It’s always nice to hear about someone

being a GC, whether it was that person who helped you when you fell over or walked you home when you were too drunk. I’m kinda surprised that there hasn’t been any letters like “Dear Slut from Monkey Bar, thanks for the gobby. 7.5/10. Kind Regards, 1st year.” Or maybe even “Dear Richard Cheese, congrats on reaching your milestone of 1 minute, 4 seconds. Not bad at all for your 3rd time! Good job, Person Who Would Actually Sleep With You.” Oh God, I’m lonely! 36

A

ICE AGE

ll this talk of ‘man-made global warming’, while clearly being false and sucking up precious time and money, is also doing mankind damage in a far more serious way. Every second we spend discussing whether or not the planet is getting warmer is taking focus away from the far more terrifying reality that we are hurtling headlong into another ice age. Forget what the scientists are telling you. Any morning now you could wake up to find yourself frozen to death, along with your family, friends, and that one hot girl who lives across the road from you and made eye contact with you that one time and you could totally tell she was into you, even though she’s avoided you since then and it’s getting a bit awkward. Ice ages can be devastating, as we all know from hard-hitting documentaries such as Ice Age and Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. When an ice age hits, every square centimetre of the Earth is covered in thick layers of ice, often within a matter of hours. However, although ice ages are quick to arrive, they have been known to last for billions, and sometimes trillions, of years. Needless to say, if an ice age were to hit mankind today the results would be disastrous: all progress we have made as a society would be lost instantly and our descendants, if any, would be forced to learn how to make racist YouTube comments from scratch. In order to minimise the harm of a potential ice age, I have personally instituted the following ten-level warning system to alert citizens when temperatures start to drop to dangerous levels. Level 1: A bit nippy. Level 2: Ooh, that’s brisk. Level 3: Martha, put the jug on, it’s gettin’ chilly! Level 4: Colder than Charlton Heston’s cold, dead hands. Level 5: Can’t … feel my face. Level 6: Hellooo, frostbite! Level 7: Wait, am I in a North East Valley flat? Level 8: What’s cooler than being cool? ICE COLD! Level 9: Hell has frozen over. Level 10: Full-blown ice age up in this bitch. As soon as you hear the warning system kick into action, you must take preventative action immediately. Put on some Barry White, Marvin Gaye – shit, even some Lionel Richie – so we can get a little bit of heat back into things. That’s right, time to make those flames rise higher baby. Ooh yeah girl, anything we can do to stop ourselves from freezing to death. Of course, sometimes white-hot soul may not be enough to slow the cooling process, in which case it would be best to just put yourself into some sort of humorous pose before you freeze so that whoever discovers you can at least have a bit of a chuckle. On the other hand, perhaps we’ll all be fine. Who’s to say in this unpredictable, ever-changing climate we live in? Anyway, all this talk of ice ages is just taking time and money away from the real issue: immigrants. Can we trust them?


G

reetings from your OUSA Queer Rep, There’s still many issues facing the queer community and queer students today. Personally, I don’t think the university environment is as inclusive and safe as it should be for queer students. And don’t get me started on not having the same rights when it comes to marriage and adoption (I know it’s a cliché but it’s shit), but I thought I’d write about some of the awesome things that come with my being part of the diverse queer community. I have an amazing group of friends. Yes I do. They don’t give me shit when I want to put on a moustache to allow my alter ego, Romeo (pronounced Ro-Mae-Oh) room to breathe. In fact, they tell him how good looking he is. We talk about all sorts of goodies, and I never have to worry about them thinking I’m weird, ‘cause we embrace diversity. I have an amazingly beautiful girlfriend who puts my makeup on when we go out. I get to borrow her clothes (even though she hates it) and we share expensive shampoo and conditioner. I know this is slightly superficial but it’s handy. When you get a whole bunch of queers in one place it makes for one hell of a party, where you can just be yourself. Take for instance the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. It brings together people from all different walks of life. When I attended, I had a lesbian couple behind me, along with an Asian family who had their toddler on their shoulders and a group of awesome indigenous women who let my partner and I squeeze in next to them when most people were like “nah”. Even though the queer community is incredibly diverse, we can share our “coming out” stories, our good times and bad, and empathise with one and another because we can relate in some way to one and another. I’ve never felt the closeness of family like I do now, and this is all because of the friends I’ve made within the queer community (note, I do have some wonderful straight friends as well). Yes, there are some pretty shit things that queer people go through, but there are many wonderful things as well. If everyone embraced and celebrated diversity, then maybe the shit would dwindle to the size of my pinky (which is freakishly tiny). I hope everyone has fun reading this Queer Issue. I’m going to go and do queer stuff, like my homework, watching TV and having dinner with my friends. Don’t forget to vote in the upcoming referenda/online SGM! Love

I

must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. 37


Letter of the Week wins a $30 book voucher LOW POINT: A NOTE ABOUT THE WEATHER

Dear Mother Nature, Fuck you. Seriously. Enough with the bullshit weather. First the earthquake in Christchurch, then gale force winds and now a whole slew of different fecal matter falling from the sky. I don’t know if its just me, but I don’t particularly care for having so much shit weather all at once. Rain/sun/clouds/wind/snow/sleet/hail all in one day? Unacceptable behavior my dear Mother. Why not give the people of New Zealand some nice, sunny weather so not everyone feels so inclined to wear dark, dreary colours all the time? Make it happen. hugs and kisses, sun dancer

THE SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED BECAUSE OF THE QUAKE. DIDN’T YOU HEAR?

To Disgruntled Christchurchonian, Dude, if you are going to rant, do it bloody right! Seven times (seven times!) You wrote “your” when you meant to write “you’re”. It’s basic fucking grammar! Anyone who makes mistakes like that has no right whatsoever to call someone a “delirious retard” which in itself is a spectacular demonstration of a lack of brain cells. Faaaaa man! Love the Grammar Nana YEAH, WE GUESS …

Dear Canterbury Uni Students Quit complaining that they uni has taken away your study week!!! We don’t even get one! Yours Sincerely Otago Uni Students NAH YOU SUCK

Dear Critic, Poems suck. Don’t do that again.

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WE AWAIT THEIR INEVITABLE RESPONSES WITH BATED BREATH

HMMMMM

Dear Critic, In response to James ‘International Socialist’ Gluck and possibly Harriet Geoghegan. How on earth is the 90 day employment bill specifically bad for students? Its bad for the shit workers out there who are unproductive and obviously not fit for the job. The exstudents who work well will keep their jobs so they won’t have to worry about it. Why should employers have to be stuck with a shit employee, the bill gives them more rights to choose who they employ. I’m not exactly self employed but if you owned a business wouldn’t you want that? Also, believe it or not the bill does and so far has increased employment through reduction in risk of employment. I don’t see any negatives about the bill whatsoever as it’s fair and it works, frankly I don’t even see why James keeps going on about it. Oh and don’t even get me started on those unions you both seem to always mention. A hard Worker

Dear Critic, In light of your implication that the constitutional mess OUSA is facing is my fault, I would like to set the record straight. I did not “write” the constitutional changes – I provided commentary and input into what I thought was simply a first draft. I had no idea that the draft “Online SGM” stuff would be the version sent out – if I had, I never would have gone along. It should also be pointed out that I was the only Executive member to vote against sending that Online SGM stuff to referendum (it is the Online SGM Stuff, not the Exec structure stuff, that is causing the current headaches), and was the guy who desperately tried to point out the “Executive veto” aspect of the changes. Or, in other words, targeting me for being responsible for something I opposed seems, frankly, a bit unfair. Yours Sincerely, Daniel Stride OUSA Clubs and Societies Representative


OTAGO AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL CLUB AGM

The Otago Australian Rules Football Club will hold its annual general meeting at 5.30pm on Tuesday 5 October in commerce 2.01. Nominations are open for President, Secretary, and Treasurer. Please contact afl.otago@gmail.com for the full agenda

THIS IS NOT TWITTER

MUSIC. PLEASE.

@ Proud to be Female I also don’t often find myself moved to write to student mags, let alone defend them, but I take issue with your criticism of the Women’s Edition of Critic. I am a feminist and found the cover to be hilarious. My female friends and I could not stop laughing when we saw it. It was clearly poking fun at the many myths about vaginas that are out there. I am beginning to think it is an age thing, as I showed my mother who was offended – whereas everyone I know my age loved it. I even noticed that the OUSA Queer Rep said she loved the cover. The articles, while light-hearted, were also interesting. An article on hysteria, which discussed the history of the medicalisation of female desire, was fascinating – as was the article on femme fatales. What is wrong with a look about female criminality? There was lots of other good stuff too. But I guess you just ignored it and decided the issue sucked because you didn’t get a joke. A female proud to be able to laugh at self

Dear Music Editor, I am appalled at how incestuous the Critic music column has become. In last week’s issue, the unsurprisingly positive review of the Knives at Noon Glitter Guts EP was penned by a member of “OK! Crazy Fiction Lady”. This band will be opening for their pals Knives at Noon at their mutual EP release later this year. What integrity do any reviews of Dunedin’s current “music scene” have when these reviews are written by those messing around in the same scene? I am disappointed this conflict of interest has not been recognised. The music column should not be a place for bands to shamelessly plug each other. There has certainly been no shortage of such behaviour from current Dunedin bands, or their fans. Objective music critic

STUDENTSOUL Cafe-style church for students Sunday 3 October 7pm at George Street School Hall. Speakers: Jack and Lydia’s small group. Remixing our Prayers. Contact Rev Helen Harray 027 473 0042

DUNEDIN FILM SOCIETY SCREENING September 29 at 7.30 pm in The Red Lecture Theatre – Swing Time – Superb Hollywood musical featuring a Jerome Kerns score and some of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers’ finest dance numbers. No casuals. Three-movie passes available for $25. See website for further informatio n: dunedinfilmsociety.tripod.com

YOU TELL US

A fish Taco? What’s the big deal? A gurl SO HOT RIGHT NOW

Dear Critic, I have noticed around the university that crutches are apparently the hip and happening thing this year. Due to my need to stay edgy and ahead of the times I have adopted a pair in order to try and pull while on campus. This way I can give haughty looks to everybody that hasn’t caught on yet. I figured I would share this secret with you so that you too can be fashionable, Critic. If your magazine was on crutches I think people would take it more seriously. Love, Limpy.

OUSA GRANTS Need Money!!! Apply for an OUSA Grant. OUSA helps Clubs and students by providing grants. The final grant round for 2010 closes at 4pm, Thursday 30 September. See Lee or Sandra at Clubs and Socs or ousa.org.nz/ home/deals/grants for more details.

LETTERS POLICY Letters should be 200 words or less. The deadline is Tuesday at 5pm. Get them to us by putting them in the mailbox under the Union stairs, emailing us at critic@critic.co.nz, or posting them to us at PO Box 1436, Dunedin. All letters must include full contact details (name, street address and phone number), even if you don’t want these details printed. Letters of a serious nature addressing a specific group or individual will not be published under a pseudonym, except in extraordinary circumstances as negotiated with the Editor. Critic reserves the right to edit, abridge, or decline letters without explanation. We don’t fix the spelling or grammar in letters. If the letter writer looks stupid, it’s because they are.

S WANT TO HELP OTHER STUDENT CV? YOUR ST BOO AND e The Student Leadership Programm needs enthusiastic students to d with mentor in 2011. You’ll get paire and a new student to help them out, unity comm with ed involv you’ll be activities that’ll look great on your CV. Contact Michelle for more rship@ information: hedc.studentleade nz. otago.ac.

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Critique Analyse this...

43 GAMES

44 music

47 PERFORMANCE

48 FOOD

50 ART

52 FILM

53 BOOKS

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Frances Hodgkins

Portraits DPAG Until 3 April 2011

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rances Hodgkins is an artist whose work I have seen many times, yet each time I see her work it is a different experience. Each time I look at her paintings I am completely absorbed into the picture plane, as my gaze restlessly navigates the image before me. This exhibition is centered on the Dunedin Public Art Gallery’s recent purchase of Hodgkins’ painting The Farmer’s Daughter (Portrait of Annie Coggan) (1929-30) and also coincides with the DPAG’s 125th anniversary. It seems highly appropriate that they would celebrate this monumental occasion by featuring arguably the most revered and influential painter ever produced from Dunedin. Portraits chronicles Hodgkins’ development as a painter, highlighting the diverse nature of her work as it progresses across her oeuvre. This exhibition focuses specifically on portraiture and Frances Hodgkins’ investigation and experimentation within the genre that dominated much of her career. A highlight of this exhibition is the portrait of Hannah Richie and Jane Saunders, entitled Double portrait (1922). The work evokes comparisons to painters such as Matisse and Picasso with its distinctive focus on the flatness of the picture plane. Double portrait is texturally engaging, with heavy brushstrokes forming irregular patterns and a use of contrasting colours. The figures’ bone structure is perfectly rendered, which reflects Hodgkins’ technical understanding of the human form, present in her early works. Another utterly captivating work is one of Frances Hodgkins’ watercolour paintings, Miss Stafford (1900). What makes this work so exquisite is Hodgkins’ harmonious blending of watercolours to describe the expertly rendered figure. The Farmer’s Daughter (Portrait of Annie Coggan) first seems to be the weakest of all the works featured, initially appearing to be the least visually striking. However, upon closer inspection the viewer realises the strong correlation between the figure and the scene around her. The Farmer’s Daughter is rendered in heavy brushstrokes of rich colours, which draws the viewer inside the dynamic properties of the composition. The most alluring feature of this work is the numbness behind the figure’s eyes, gazing distantly from the picture plane. This emotional distance makes The Farmer’s Daughter an intriguing addition to the DPAG’s collection of Hodgkins’ work.

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Timothy Blackman

I’ve Never Lived

Timothy Blackman is a solo musician who has travelled and lived throughout New Zealand and abroad. His third release, I’ve Never Lived, is a self-recorded album made during his time over in Berlin. Blackman favours a bleak palette and sticks heavily to an acoustic guitar and a vocal track and invites other instruments to the party to pad out occasional tracks. He’s a talented guy and records and plays everything himself. His performance is sometimes stilted, though, and there are a few flat notes in the vocals; sometimes the drums go wildly out of time, and I guess this must be part of the genre. The album grows on you, but those awkward recording moments hang around. Blackman is writing in a style where the audience is accustomed to song-writing brilliance; following in the footsteps of Elliot Smith (a production and compositional reference) and Bright Eyes (a stylistic accident?) pretty much means you’ve put yourself in the hardest genre to compete in. Blackman doesn’t deliver on this front but there are moments. The lyrics echo with the stoic sensibilities of New Zealand cultural identity through imagined associations with the land and nature. I’ve Never Lived is folk music that works in this regard, but leaves a little lacking in the substance department. With a bit more consideration I’ve Never Lived could be huge but there’s not enough there, so I think this record will fly under the radar; pretty hummable tunes though. Make sure you check out ‘Where The Caterpillars Live’.

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LIVE REVIEW:

ONEFEST

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Being a Onefest virgin I must say I was rather excited when I arrived at Urban Factory on Friday night. My excitement reached even greater heights upon seeing Mr. Biscuits take the stage. They’re probably one of the best bands in Dunedin at the moment, and it is always a thrill seeing them play. They have a fantastic stage presence and real talent for song writing, making their live shows stand out from that of other groups. However, in the case of this gig I must say it wasn’t the best I’ve seen them. I think they suffered from a case of over-rehearsal, and lost some of that looseness which makes them such a joy to watch (possibly due to the recording of their upcoming EP). However, in saying that, they were still a fucking good start to the night! Next up was the highlight of the night for me as Dunedin royalty Thundercub appeared on stage. I am always overwhelmed by just how awesome Thundercub are. Every one of their songs is a journey into something uncharted but also wonderfully familiar. All of their sets are magical and brilliant, leading the audience somewhere they are ready to explore. Thundercub’s melodic psychedelic rock sound makes them outstandingly individualistic. Next up was singer/songwriter Grayson Gilmour, former front man of group So So Modern. Gilmour was a delight to watch and listen to. Despite being stuck behind a keyboard he had an intense stage presence that mesmerised the audience. His vocals were haunting and melodic and his songwriting was powerful, clever, and captivating. Together with his bassist and drummer Gilmour made a remarkably full sound continuously climaxing, making his set vastly layered and never boring. Following Gilmour was Christchurch band The Transistors. Now it seems fair to mention that they were a very late entry, replacing Orchestra of Spheres just one week before the gig. The Transistors had a lot of energy and seemed to be very comfortable on stage. However, to me they lacked any real charm that would encourage me to follow them closer. It would be great to see this band find a style that suited them better. At times I couldn’t help but feel I was watching a rock band trying to pose as an indie band. But in spite of this, if you ever get a chance to see them live, do it, as The Transistors do put on a good show with a lot of interaction and presence. A band I would love to find more out about was final band of the night Surf City. Capturing all the energy of the previous bands they managed to finish the night off on a high. Their set was hypnotising, frequently moved from melancholy to bliss. They have a sound that is very much their own, simplistic at times but also very well layered, mesmerising, and exciting. The only real downer of the night for me was the location. I don’t know what that place needs to do to shake off the STI-ridden ghosts of The Outback but whatever it is, no one has found it yet. The venue was too small to make the gig really epic but also too big for it to be intimate, much like a lukewarm bath. All in all, Onefest was a great night and I would encourage everyone to get out and support events like this. It’s better than getting wasted and watching Steve puke on some poor soul’s letter-box.


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LTT Review: Lunch

By Steven Berkoff Directed by Hannah Gould Performed by Hannah Gould and Joel Rees

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erkoff’s plays, at best, are challenging and confusing, due to his complex use of language and portrayal of characters with deep and conflicting desires. Gould must be commended for having the courage and strength to present one of Berkoff’s works on the Allen Hall stage. The ‘problem’ of language is one of the many obstacles both director and performer need to resolve and Gould did so by utilising Berkoff’s words to complement action. What could have been in danger of being long, confusing, and ultimately boring sections of dialogue, Gould fashioned into bright sparks of imaginative and ear-catching phrases. Gould’s choice to be an actor in this piece was an adequate decision, as her gentle, yet strong performance gave her character Mary many levels of subconscious thought. Rees was also an apt casting choice, as his ability to contort his face and body into menacing and just down-right creepy poses and gestures gave an outward expression to Tom’s inner desires. I was initially rather disappointed in Rees’ articulation of ideas, as he appeared to repeat them with the same tone and adopted no variety in his words. Further into the play, however, Rees really came into his own, as it were, and provided the audience with a strong and well-rounded character. There were some nice comical moments, but what I found most interesting was the way Gould dealt with the themes of sexual violence and humour. At the height of Mary and Tom’s sexual encounter, performed behind a low wall, Gould’s absolute refusal, fright, and longing complemented Rees’s almost Sesame Street-like way of comically and disjointedly moving and speaking. I found myself giggling at this moment, and then ferociously stopping myself and asked myself why and who was I laughing at. Gould shrewdly placed sexual violence and humour within the same fluid pattern and thereby questioned her audience and encouraged her audience to question themselves. This is one of the most thought-provoking and debilitating performances to be performed within Allen Hall’s four walls. When my whole body tingles, when my flesh crawls and when my eyes remain glued to the stage, I know that I have witnessed something inexplicable and entirely worth seeing. auteur in his directing; however, this time he let the project overwhelm him and subsequently his audience.

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hese are a couple of my favourite, effortless, sure-to-impress recipes to satiate those sweet cravings. This blend of a Gordon Ramsay recipe (http://bit.ly/chPTRy) and a random online recipe (http://bit.ly/cQYkUr) makes one of the best tiramisus that I’ve ever had – sweet, luscious, and creamy, with just the right chocolate and coffee overtones. Plus, it sounds fancy but is actually easily thrown together – which means that you will impress without much work at all. Also, everyone needs a good, fuss-free brownie recipe for chocolate emergencies. Of all the brownie recipes that my friends and I have experimented with, this one (that C found) is by far the simplest and yields brownies that are just as heavenly, moist, chocolatey, decadent, and guilt-inducing as the complicated recipes. Commit it to memory.

Tiramisu Ingredients: • 250g mascarpone • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 3 tbsp Marsala, brandy, or Tia Maria • 150ml strong coffee or espresso, cooled to room temperature

• • • • •

150ml single cream 4 tbsp icing sugar Sponge fingers (savoiardi) Chocolate shavings Hot Chocolate powder

Method: • Whisk the mascarpone with the vanilla, Marsala, and 50ml coffee, until everything is thoroughly mixed together. Whisk the cream with the icing sugar until smooth, then fold in the mascarpone mix. Pour remaining coffee into a wide, flattish bowl. • Take one sponge finger at a time and dip it in to the coffee for one second, remove and arrange at the bottom of a 2-3 inch deep glass container. Repeat until you have a layer of coffee-soaked sponge fingers. • Spoon a layer of the mascarpone mix onto the first layer of sponge fingers, then top with a layer of hot chocolate powder and chocolate shavings. Repeat steps 2 and 3 to make another layer. • Refrigerate for 30 minutes or longer to allow it to set and flavours to infuse. Cut into squares with a soft, plastic spatula; serve, and bask in the adulations.

Brownies (Adapted from http://bit.ly/4PPCuI)

Ingredients: • 2 cups sugar • 1/2 cup chocolate chips • 3/4 cup chopped walnuts • 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder • 1 tsp salt

• • • • •

1 1 3 1 1

tsp baking powder 1/4 cups flour whole eggs cup melted butter tsp vanilla essence

Instructions: • Pre-heat oven to 175°C. • Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl. Add the wet ingredients and mix until combined completely. • Pour and spread the batter into a greased/floured/lined 9x13 inch baking pan. • Bake 25-40 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. • Scoff while it’s fresh out of the oven and still delightfully warm, with some vanilla ice cream. It also keeps well … apparently.

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Kaituna Customs

Tech Review of: PC

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aituna Customs is a new business starting up in Dunedin that builds custom gaming computers, as well as fixing and upgrading computers. It is run and operated by Otago University students. I was allowed to try a gaming machine they built for this review. It had an Intel i7 920 CPU overclocked to 4.01GHz (from 2.66GHz), 6GB of DDR3 RAM, and an ATI XFX HD-5850 graphics card outputting to a 1680x1050 monitor. It ran Crysis with max graphics (very impressive), and played every other game I tried smoothly at max graphics. It also had HD audio out, which was great for pumping music to my amp. The rig was also great for running number-crunching programs. As neither the most intense game in my arsenal nor any other programme really stressed the processor, I ran some stress tests to check the overclock’s stability. It ran fine with all components working at 99.7-99.9 percent capacity for a little over 24 hours. To show off what the rig could do, the team gave it to me with three operating systems. The main one, Windows 7 x64, was set up to run the other two on virtual machines simultaneously. Even with both virtual machines going, I was able to run all normal functions on the parent OS and even game on it. Kaituna Customs impressed me with their work, knowledge, and ability to build a powerful, well-balanced machine for a relatively low price. If you are looking for a great gaming machine, or have a problem with your current computer, I’d suggest contacting them (they have posters up around Uni with their email address).

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Grown Ups

Directed By Dennis Dugan Hoyts

Let’s cut to the chase: Grown Ups is garbage. I don’t expect miracles from the Adam Sandler crew these days, but this was disgraceful effort from five men who I easily consider to be comic geniuses. Fans of Sandler, David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James, and Rob Schneider will wonder: where did the funny guys go? And who are these assholes? Grown Ups is a dreadful slog that lacks any real creativity and instead relies on boobs and lame dad jokes to get you through a boring non-story about five childhood friends reconnecting as grown ups at their middle-school basketball coach’s funeral. At first I was astonished that a film with so much comedy star power could suck so much, but then I realised that it was bound to from the start. What about the non-plot, though? Let’s start there, what would you say ... happens in Grown Ups? Well, the actors hang around, talk shit to each other, fart, laugh, make fun of Rob Schneider. There’s a barely developed plotline that seemed like it would be the main story: Colin Quinn plays the gang’s childhood nemesis who never made it out of the hometown, while the rest of the guys went out and “did something with their lives.” We’re supposed to feel sorry for this loser, Quinn, but I actually kind of thought he was the realest part of the film. Maybe that was the point after all: that now that they are all ‘Grown Ups, these guys are admitting that they just suck at comedy.

Mother and Child

Directed by Rodrigo Garcia Rialto

Littered with familiar famous faces, Mother and Child revolves around the lives of three women played by Annette Bening, Naomi Watts, and Kerry Washington. It is heart-wrenching but not depressing, unlike many dramas that toy with hard emotional issues. Bening plays a woman who after giving birth at fourteen gave her daughter up for adoption and is now taking care of her ailing mother in a gloomy reality. Watts is that unknown child, a successful lawyer and intimidating woman. She of course has a vulnerable side, but here it is not portrayed with the usual sense of dejection. Washington is a woman wanting to be a mother, and turns to adoption to fulfill her and her husband’s wish. Again, this storyline does not fall victim to the typical soppy treatment and naturally is better for it. Director Rodrigo Garcia also directed the television segment Fathers and Sons in 2005. This may in no way be some kind of counterpart to the film, but it certainly inspires interest in seeing it. The film focuses on the many kinds of often complex relationships between mothers and daughters: happy, frustrated, estranged, wary, caring. Whether mother or daughter, everyone will find something recognisable. Poignant, but never cheesy, the film induces tears and sighs along with a few chuckles. The cinematography paired with some long silences makes for an intense experience, but one that is well worthwhile.

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The Last Airbender 2D

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan Hoyts, Rialto

This film is a pretty disappointing effort from Shyamalan, but may be enjoyed by children who are fans of the TV show or other die-hard fans. It suffers from poorly-written dialogue and half-assed acting by mostly child actors. Airbender took some heat for casting Caucasian actors in the main heroic roles (they were originally written as characters of Asian ethnicities) and I think that the most interesting things to observe from the film were its racial and cultural politics. The Last Airbender is a pretty standard hero/epic/adventure film: a young boy who is the last of his kind has special powers is destined to bring balance to the world. There are four nations representing the four main elements: Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. In each nation there are special people with the ability to manipulate or ‘bend’ that element. The main girl is a ‘water-bender’ (the Water nation seems to be white-Inuits or something) in a world that is being conquered by the Fire nation, who are mainly ethnically Indian-looking but for some reason eat with chopsticks. She awakens the ‘Avatar’, Aang, the last airbender, who has been sleeping under the ice for 100 years and luckily avoided the genocide of his Himalayan monk-like people at the hands of the Fire people. The main arc of the film builds up to an epic battle between the Fire and Water nations. I really like the idea of the film, and the world that the TV show created is interesting and dynamic. It’s a creative way to explain ideas of globalisation and multiculturalism to children, and its visually very cool to watch. I’d imagine seeing it in 3-D would be sweet too, but I can’t completely sign off on this film except for fans or children.

DUNEDIN FILM SOCIETY SCREENING

Swing Time

Wednesday, September 29 at 7.30 p.m. in the Red Lecture Theatre

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers’ musicals are synonymous with elegant romance, and they never danced more sublimely than in Swing Time, made at the very peak of their popularity. Its plot is built upon a series of teasing interruptions, but when the production numbers finally do arrive, the director rarely cuts away so that the full figure of each of these dynamic dancers remains in view, impelled by the rhythm of Jerome Kerns’ songs. This screening will take place in the Red Lecture Theatre (located in the Scott Building, across the road from the emergency entrance to the Dunedin Public Hospital on Great King Street). Admission to this single local showing (and to the rest of the Dunedin Film Society’s six remaining screenings) will be free to Film Society members. Half-year memberships are now on sale at the OUSA reception desk for almost half price ($30 for a student/unwaged half-year membership). Casual admission will not be possible, but three-movie passes are available for $25. See the website for further information: dunedinfilmsociety.tripod.com

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D

Theism and Explanation

Gregory W. Dawes Routledge

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espite having much else in common, Greg Dawes and I find ourselves on opposing sides of the God debate: I’m a theist with Anglican leanings and he’s an atheist with Roman Catholic leanings. It is perhaps a (wonderfully) strange feature of our relationship that, rather than letting our (a)theological differences come between us, we’ve almost built it around such differences. Our meetings inevitably involve arguments over the rationality of theism, and the conversation we had about his latest book is no exception. Theism and Explanation is the published version of Dawes’ second PhD thesis. His first was in New Testament studies) and on the face of it, the shift from NT scholarship to philosophy of religion is not particularly large; both have to do with religion, after all. Nevertheless, such shifts are uncommon in academia and NT scholars don’t make particularly good philosophers. I shan’t mention names. Dawes is a happy exception to the rule. He’s been dabbling in philosophical matters for a while now and there’s a sense in which Theism and Explanation is the culmination of his wading in philosophical waters (his full immersion, as it were). But why would anyone want to do a second PhD? Well, for Dawes, the shift from biblical studies into philosophy really was a shift in career, not just one in transient academic interest. Just pragmatically, then, it made perfect sense to obtain qualifications in the field. Fortunately, Dawes’ motivation to undertake this large project did not stem solely from such mundane utilitarian concerns (this would be unbecoming for a philosopher, surely, especially a trenchant open-source supporter like Dawes). Dawes has long been interested in the relationship between theology and the natural sciences (as a 1996 paper indicates) and has long nurtured a frustration again both atheists’ and theists’ pontifications on the issue. On one hand – in Dawes’s estimation – atheists too frequently too quickly dismiss God-talk as simply vacuous. On the other hand, theists – or perhaps, more specifically, theologians – often neglect their obligation to provide rational or evidential support for their claims, opting instead for sheer assertion. As it happens, I share both these bugbears, so I’m pleased that someone’s doing some decent philosophical work here. For too long now the science-religion debate has been swallowed and muddled up by the Intelligent Design fiasco in the United States, not least by professional philosophers. The main tactic of the likes of Michael Ruse seems to be to deny that theological explanations are vacuous or “unscientific” by virtue of (a) the invocation of a divine agent and/or (b) the unfalsifiability of theological explanations. But this is just bad philosophy marshalled for (in my view) desirable political ends. If Darwinians are to win the intellectual battle, it should not be by compromising our intellectual standards. Good education policy ends do not justify sloppy (or dishonest) philosophical means. Theists are just as bad, if not worse. It is as though they realise that their beliefs are unjustifiable, but nevertheless refuse to give them up (it would, after all, be tricky to find a job if you were a theology graduate and an atheist at the same time), so they don’t bother. But, given the potentially horrendous practical ramifications of religious belief, sloppy theology is morally repugnant. The recent assertions by various Muslim, Jewish, and Christian clerics that natural disasters like the 2004 tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, and the 2010 Haitian earthquake were caused by God as punishment for (usually sexual) sins should enrage us, especially if we are ourselves religious. Furthermore, if religious beliefs can motivate such atrocities as the Crusades, the Inquisition, and the 9/11 attacks, they should be held at epistemic standards at least as rigorous as our more mundane beliefs. Theism and Explanation therefore fills the dearth of rigorous philosophical work on whether and when theological explanations warrant belief Philosophers are in the business of making conceptual distinctions, so Dawes told me years ago when I was in his undergraduate class. True to form, Theism and Explanation begins by distinguishing between de facto and in principle objections against theological explanations. The latter seek to “put a merciful end to all the nonsense” by showing that some essential feature of theological explanations makes them vacuous or otherwise non-explanatory. In other words, they try to show that theological explanations are not even potential explanations (let alone actual ones). De facto objections, on the other hand, are much more modest: they concede that theological explanations could be good explanations, and might even have been the best explanations of phenomena, but that this is no


longer the case. The de facto objector therefore cannot buy their rejection of theological explanations on the cheap; they have to evaluate each theological explanation on a case-by-case basis. Dawes is a de facto objector; in the course of the book, he argues against in principle strategies and attempts to construct a de facto case against theological explanations. Before we get to the evaluative part of the book, however, Dawes has more conceptual ground-clearing to do: he first provides a general account of explanation and goes on to outline what a theological explanation might look like. With these quasi-definitional issues out of the way, Dawes can now specify the conditions under which a theological explanation may be inferred (and accepted) as the best explanation for some phenomenon. First, theological explanations have to be potential explanations: in principle, objections against theological explanations must be defeated. Dawes rightly argues that theological explanations cannot be ruled out a priori by virtue of positing an entity that cannot be directly observed (physical explanations do too) or by virtue of positing psychological states (psychological explanations do too). Furthermore, they cannot be ruled out for being untestable because, well, they’re not (or not more so than any other theoretical explanation). Indeed, Dawes points out that the most powerful argument for atheism – the problem of evil – assumes that theological explanations are falsifiable: it assumes that traditional theism entails the lack of gratuitous suffering, and proceeds to falsify theism by showing that this prediction is false. Dawes is right, of course. If atheists claim that theological explanations are untestable in principle, they immediately lose their most powerful positive argument for atheism. Second, theological explanations have to fulfill explanatory desiderata: we may accept theological explanations if they turn out to be good explanations, and especially if they turn out to be the best explanations we have for the phenomena in question. At this point, Dawes draws on the philosophical literature on inference to the best explanation and lists a set of explanatory virtues. Then, he proceeds to evaluate theological explanations on this basis, concluding that the odds are stacked against theists: theological explanations, Dawes argues, are less ontologically economical (i.e., they posit more entities), less consistent with background knowledge, less successful historically, less informative (i.e., they produce imprecise predictions), etc. than naturalistic explanations. Theists who want to defend theological explanations of phenomena (e.g., Intelligent Design theorists, believers in special divine interventions) have their work cut out for them. There’s a lot to like in Theism and Explanation. I think Dawes is mostly right, which made the interview that much more difficult. I have a few small complaints, of course – I don’t think methodological and ontological naturalisms are as similar as he supposes, I think Dawes risks unduly blurring the distinction between theism and discrete theological explanations (much like blurring the distinction between scientific realism and, say, the special theory of relativity), I wasn’t convinced that “explanations that explain everything explain nothing” – but I went to meet Dawes armed with only one substantive question. With some trepidation, I read out my one-page question, arguing that theists may accept theological explanations on top of naturalistic explanations if they are not totally redundant (i.e., if there is at least one fact that requires a theological explanation). I won’t bore you with the technical details, but one upshot of this is that the success of, say, cosmological arguments for the existence of God allows theists to say that God caused (and explains), well, everything (via natural processes). There I am in Dawes’ kitchen in his beautiful Roslyn home: the kumara goulash is simmering in the oven; he has a glass of cabernet sauvignon in one hand, and I’ve had several glasses too many. He thinks for a moment, and says, “Yes, you’re right.” And then we have a delicious meal with his delightful family, and he walks all the way to the NEV with me. To be honest, we didn’t talk about the book that much that night. Much of the banter did revolve around philosophy and religion, but I like to think that we were two friends having a conversation about life and family and vocation and books and food more than two academics discussing scholarly stuff. At the end of the night, I came away remembering why Greg is my favourite atheist.

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chindler's list?

from peter chin's unintentionally hilarious campaign bruchure

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