people would just go “I love your reviews” and it’s like yeah sweet, cool, so you should, I give good advice. But then once I started hosting it was different, it did feel like people own you more, like they feel like they know you or something, and its like, you don’t know anything about me. Particularly in that kind of situation, where it’s just sooo fake; we’d have someone in our ear screaming at us if we did anything vaguely kind of human sometimes. So yeah it’s like I don’t know what they want or what they expect as well. Hmmm one thing people will always bring up in New Zealand is the tall poppy syndrome, did you experience any of that? Yeah … if you didn’t give people what they wanted, as in time or whatever, or recognition that they recognised you. Like big fucking deal, you watch morning TV, get a job, whoop dee doo. Then they could turn sour but I was always just a friend. And also when I was out in Auckland I was with drag queens, so they’d often times just be too terrified, because the girls would go “Faarkk off.” But no, never anything that got really bad. Never annoying, because usually people would go ‘oh I really enjoy your work.’ I guess if you were a dick, like if you were Michael Laws or something it would be different because there would be
people that hate your politics. But because I was doing stuff like reviewing and stuff it was always nice. An argument people will often bring up when famous people complain about media coverage, like Mike Hosking suing New Idea because they printed photos of his children … Oh yeah and now they’re bitching that he’s gone the other way and he’s selling his story to make money. Yeah it’s interesting, I know Mike, I don’t really want to talk about that. I would talk about the fact that they were saying that about Ali Mau, like when she was outed or whatever, people were like “Well fuck her she sold her stories to women mags, and made money,” and it’s well no she wasn’t she was under contract. In New Zealand their contracts would be something like you have to do a certain amount of publicity. So you’d actually be contracted to do stories for things and stuff. So yeah I don’t know whether I’ve seen pictures of her kids or not, but um yeah it’s an interesting thing. But then there are other things, like now he’s [Hosking] doing Breakfast on ZB so there’d be pressure from his management to get his name out there and get his face out there. Yaknow he’s replacing Holmes, who’s the biggest self-promoting cunt in the world. So he had to get up to that level as well. So I’m sure there’s also management pressure on Hosking to do it, to get that story out with him and Kate [Hawkesby], because he never really has before but now they are. But there are false rumours going around, and they really are to kill. Because New Zealand is a small country so rumours can fly around this place as quick as a flash, and now with the internet it’s even worse. Christ, have you been on the TradeMe boards? Oh, no. Go have a look at any of the TradeMe message boards about any of the New Zealand people and stuff; gawd, opinions are like arseholes, everyone’s got one. Really? Some people getting right into it? Ooooh yep, really full-on, it’s like fuuuck. [giggles] I saw Charlotte Dawson getting right into that Rachel Glucina page, bit of a beef there? Well yeah she said terrible stuff about her, Rachel was always writing about her, and it’s like Charlotte’s fantastic, she’s a really
lovely woman. And reading that stuff it fucked everyone off, because they sort of forget that we’re all friends, everyone knows each other in this industry, it’s so small in New Zealand. And so you actually do take it as a personal affront when you read something about a friend that 1) is incorrect, or 2) is just really cunty. And a lot of it was really horrible. Because that’s where are a lot of people might point to Charlotte Dawson and say she is someone who has really pursued fame … Yeah see I know her, so I’d never think that, I’ve known how hard she’s worked over the years, the really hard times and stuff. It’s like saying, by saying that you’re saying so what, when a newspaper did a story about her marriage breaking up, she broke up her marriage to get publicity? It’s ridiculous, no one does that. So that she chased publicity is just totally, totally wrong, she was just working at what she was doing. Yeah sure, okay. And the last question, if you were stranded on Celebrity Treasure Island, which three other New Zealand celebrities would you want to be stranded with? Glenn Osborne, because as he says on Code he can do everything. I love Glen Osborne he’s so fucking funny. Oh, Charlotte, because she’s fantastic fun. Oh I don’t know it would be weird. Probably Ponginator because then I’d get in good conversation. Who’s that, sorry? Brendan Pongia, because he’s a laugh, and you’d get a good conversation out of him. Definitely, definitely the Oz. Oh and someone hot; Logan Swann, oh no but he’s already done it, but he’s so hot! You’d need someone for eye candy. Oh, Sonny Bill Williams. Sonny Bill Williams. Because he sounds like such a freshie, I’d just want to see if he is, sounds like he’s just fresh from Samoa when he talks and I think that’s really cute. Sounds like a pretty well-resourced island. Yeah! Excellent. Everything? Yeah that’s it, thanks a lot for your time. Yep no worries. Hopefully you can use it. In accordance with legal advice, some parts of the transcript have been blacked out. The views expressed by Gray in the interview are his own genuine opinion and not shared by Critic or its employees. 29