Contents
Publisher Paul Blake paul@columbiacitypaper.com
March 10, 2011 VOLUME 6 Issue 21
Senate advances a disastrous immigration bill: Cover photo by Ranjith Dharmarajan
p. 3
ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos jtrunkos@columbiacitypaper.com
News.Politics.Commentary. cover More folly at the statehouse Letters to the reader Dear St. Patrick’s Day costume guy lies annual st. Patricks day report Conservation hotlist Editorial.Voting process must be simple and transparent vocal booth Aretha Franklin Commentary Unions Have a Place, Even in Fiscal Conservatism
3 4 5 6 7 10 11 12
colatheater.com S.M. Baleem, Garrett Kellerhals Design Lisa Corbin Music Kingsley Waring Pg. 4
Movies.Entertainment.Etc. soundboard punk/indie/emo/ska/hardcore/metal/rock movie times Music guitar legend Al Di Meola at newberry opera house Arts Chernobyl Exhibit at USC savage love adult sex advice Jonesin Crosswords Cartoons Derf & Red Meat Sudoku
10 12 12 13 14 14 15
Account Executives James Wallace, Jen Snyder DISCLAIMER: The crosshairs depicted on the front cover are really just geological surveyor marks. Wink-wink, SP. Contributors S.M. Baleem, Garrett Kellerhals, WR Marshall, Todd Morehead, Will Moredock, Ted Rall, Dan Savage, Kingsley Waring, Baynard Woods
Pg. 10
Columbia City Paper 2965 North Main Street Columbia, SC 29201 803.218.9455 (dial area code)
Advertisers in Columbia City Paper assume responsibility for the entire content of the advertisements. The first copy of Columbia City Paper is free. Additional copies are $1 and two-bits each. Views expressed do not necessarily represent the opinions of Columbia City Paper or its publisher. (C) Columbia City Paper, LLC
More Folly in the Statehouse In the worst-governed state in the nation, our General Assembly is poised to pass another expensive, unnecessary, futile law to quell the primordial fear which it can neither understand nor control. For nearly two centuries that fear has driven this poor old state into a pattern reckless, irrational, and selfdestructive behavior. I give you the latest folly of our state Legislature, Senate Bill 20, aka the “Show Me Your Papers Act.” SB 20 is patterned on the infamous Arizona immigration law, passed last year and now headed to the U.S. Supreme Court. The Senate bill provides for a law enforcement officer to verify the immigration status of any person stopped, detained or arrested, if the officer suspects that person may be in the country illegally. How a law enforcement officer is supposed to suspect an alien is in the country illegally is some cabalistic wisdom privy only to the Legislature and law enforcement. But one thing seems certain – based on human nature and the Arizona experience – and that is that this law is going to lead to profiling by law enforcement. And that will lead to legal complications, both for local law enforcement and for the state. Defenders of the bill point out that the suspect must be stopped, detained or arrested before the officer can demand his “papers.” But it is no secret that if a cop wants to make a traffic stop, he will find cause to do so. SB 20 comes out of that dark place in the soul of the state which has given us generations of racial segregation,
capital punishment, chain gang laws, and other uncivilized practices. Like those other laws, SB 20 will ultimately be as evil as whatever problem it was meant to fix. And like those other laws, it will be an insult to the highest principles of the nation. In a state famous for its abuse of powerless minorities, it seems that Hispanics are now the object for our worst impulses. The cruelty of this bill is exceeded only by its irony. The fact is that the immigrant population is declining in the state, due to the lagging economy. Fewer jobs means fewer immigrants and S.C. has an unemployment rate of more than 10 percent. So what is the urgency in putting out the dragnet for aliens now? If it is fear of crime that motivates this misguided legislation, South Carolinians can breathe easily in knowing that Immigration and Customs Enforcement is arresting and deporting more illegals under the Obama administration than it ever did under the Bush administration, according to Victoria Middleton, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of South Carolina. Furthermore, Middleton said, harsh attempts to control illegal immigration will make victims of crime unwilling to seek help from police, thus breeding a culture of lawlessness in the immigrant community – legal and illegal – which will inevitably spill out into the the larger society. There are other problems with the law, Middleton said. As we cut back on law enforcement in this epic budget crisis, we are simultaneously creating more chores for police to perform. “This law will divert law enforcement from
more serious crime,” she said. “It is not a smart use of resources.” And speaking of resources, S.C. passed legislation a couple of years ago requiring employers to check the immigration status of new hires. The state does not have the manpower to properly enforce that law. How does it intend to enforce this one? Another irony is that an increasing number of immigrants – legal and otherwise – come from Eastern Europe and look like, well, like those folks who dressed up in their Confederate finery and staged a “Secession Ball” last December. If “looking like an illegal immigrant” is the rationalization for demanding a person’s papers, no son of a Confederate veteran may soon be safe in S.C. (I hope Glenn McConnell, one of the sponsors of this bill and the state’s most famous Confederate reenactor, is reading this!) Local immigration attorney Marco Torres sides with Middleton in thinking the law is a waste of time and resources. “There are a lot of issues in this law that are already covered in federal law,” he said, “and we are just creating another burden for police.” “Coming from my perspective as an immigration attorney, I think this is a federal issue,” he said. “What we don’t need is a patchwork of state laws regulating immigration.” I predict that this bill will become law, because it appeals to the ugly fears and fantasies of white South Carolinians. And I predict that – like Arizona – we will land in federal court, fighting another losing battle in defense of our ill-advised, ill-begotten laws.
February 24, 2010
3
Letters to the Dear Four Loko ban, Sipping what very well may be the last Four Loko in town, I can’t help but wonder why, when it comes to tightening the screws on grown folks’ personal freedom, our policymakers can pass laws virtually overnight. Yet, legitimate legislation (i.e. the stuff voters actually want and need) gets deadlocked for years. Makes one wonder what kind of political sleight of hand you’re up to. Maybe if you pass these headline-grabbing morality laws with one hand, you can slip in the more nefarious legislation for your corporate bosses under the table with the other. Like the clown who is wasting valuable time and ink during a state budget crisis to soapbox about the need for tougher laws against soliciting prostitution. Who cares? Why not talk about the massive tax cuts you’re giving Amazon for their new distribution warehouse? Look, at the end of the day, I don’t need some stuffed suit to tell me what I should or shouldn’t ingest. If you ask me, you should drop these “for the safety of the children” witch-hunts, sashay that little bowtie back to your office, and do some real work. When we need a highway repaved, we’ll let you know. Columbia City Paper Dear St. Patrick’s Day costume guy, We see scores of you guys at the St. Patty’s Day festival every year. Shirtless with green body paint smeared by the spilled beer dripping down your sunburned fish belly, rainbow wig jerked askew, glazed eyes staring from behind cheap novelty sunglasses, you stagger through the trash-strewn streets calling out for a ride that left you two hours ago. “So what now?” you mumble aloud to a stranger. Our answer: man up and rally, dude. The sun is still out. You might as well funnel another beer, take a quick dump in front of Sid n’ Nancy and hit a bar. Your night is just getting started! Columbia City Paper Dear S.C. state employees who voted for Haley, We have been puzzled for years by middle class and working poor voters who continue to vote Republican. At first, we thought it was the classic conservative/ morality swindle they used to trick you with back in the day. But, even baboons have the capacity to realize when they’re 4
March 10, 2011
being hoodwinked. We’re starting to think it’s more of a weird South Carolina sadomasochism thing; you know, the type of people who get erections while being punched in the face. So, you state employees who voted for Haley must really be titillated from the news that your employee benefits and pension plans are up on the budgetary chopping block next. (Of course, being state employees themselves, you won’t see a cut to benefits for state legislators.) “Ooooewwww, yeeah, you like me taking your children’s insurance coverage? Huh? Mmmm. Now, bend over and take that extra furlough week. Yesss! Just like that. We’re gonna keep those tax cuts in place for big business and pound you like a Wisconsin school teacher! And you’ll continue to vote for us reptiles forever because you’re a baadddd little lackey, aren’t you?! Yessss you are.” Columbia City Paper
Reader
“Free Times” signs on them, and we would like the punishment for this offense to be a curse placed on the children of anyone employed by Portico Publications—with an exception for eight employees who were fired in Augusta by chicken-shit administration via speaker phone last week. Finally, Bill H. 6969 would require central registration and mammogram of all single women aged 22-30 at City Paper offices on Main Street. Columbia City Paper
Dear Belinda Gergle, I am sitting at a “bia hoy” in a small town called Nihn Bin, Vietnam. I have had 15 beers since I woke this morning and stumbled through busy streets with no traffic signs. I had an open container and walked into the street where 150 mopeds, cars and bikes passed without hitting me, one of which had 300 live ducks and a goat on the handle bars—although I was pretty drunk; that goat could have been State Dear lady with eight-inch long Senator Knotts. fingernails, Should I be drinking another beer right Those nails are certainly exotic. (Well, now? I am not sure it’s a good idea. (Thank in the same way a hissing poisonous centipede is exotic). But, at what price? You just had to ask a stranger to open that can of soda for you. I shudder to think what it’s like to try to dress yourself. And, on the flip side of that disturbing coin, your love life has to be like something out of Ripley’s. I can only imagine them clacking, bug-like, until whatever male is in the room quickly covers his Johnson and backs out the door. Well, I guess at least they work as chop sticks in a pinch. Can’t really think of what else they’d be useful for. Columbia City Paper Dear Governor Haley, We hope you enjoyed the round of Guinness City Paper bought for you a few weeks ago at Thirsty Fellows. Now let’s talk about some possible legislation we would like you to introduce. Bill H. 777 would require all local businesses to advertise exclusively in locally-owned newspapers. (We haven’t denounced our citizenship yet; we are saving that for your presidential bid.) Bill H. 666 would make the stealing of newspaper racks punishable by lethal injection. We would also like a special clause to address the racks purchased by City Paper from Greenville’s The Beat when they went out of business. Most of these ended up with
God someone else edits these letters for me!) But Columbia City Council does things that are pretty stupid practically every council meeting so, who are you to judge? Futhermore, if a communist regime allows me such freedoms, what’s my incentive to return to Five Points to be harassed by homeless and police. I’ll take my chances in this third-world country. It is my body…keep your paws and laws off my liver! Columbia City Paper
Opinion and lies by Paul Blake About this time every year, I attempt to find out the St. Patty’s Day commissions from Five Points Association Executive Director Merritt Mchaffie. But as this has become an exercise in absolute public records futility, I also spend some well-wasted FOIA time trying to find out what the U.S. military really had to do with the assassination of Vietnamese President Ngo Dinh Diem and whether the European Union will ever fess up to ruining the career of new age musician Yanni. Every year, the Five Points Association goon squad dodges basic public records requests for information any non-profit organization staffed by semi-literate gerbils should be able to provide to a newspaper within minutes. This year, I was told that FPA would present me with the information I desired if I would kindly bring them $118 to pay for “reproduction costs.” How stupid do they think I am? In five minutes, I could be trolling Two Notch Road and forking out no more than $15 for all the reproduction costs a man could ever need! I am asking for information that can be limited to one solitary piece of paper. I want to know the commission amounts for the St. Patrick’s Day festival. That’s it. I don’t want a ream of paper. I don’t want to know any of the other corrupt acts enacted by this group the other 364 days of the year. Merritt, I just want several numbers with names. And I won’t even waste my all-time worst pickup line on you: “Baby, I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!” Anyway, surprise, surprise! The cost of that one sheet of paper from FPA is still $118. I hope to God some FBI agent in the Strom Thurmond Federal Building is reading this article!! Help!! I am being extorted!! This is worse than Wisconsin!! In previous years, City Paper has resorted to getting attorneys involved to threaten suit against FPA for the St. Pat’s commission information. Last year, however, I decided to crash the beer server training event at Sharky’s Bar prior to the St. Patty’s event. First, I didn’t have to pay attorneys. Second, I figured I’d be able to sneak a couple of pints of Guinness for my trouble. I tracked down each individual making hefty commission checks from the festival.
Again, what a surprise: the same people were benefiting AT TAXPAYER’S EXPENSE, and the same ol’ “Five Points Mafia” behavior still existed. At least one small business, Disorderly Conduct, had been told it could not sell beer at the event. [Editor’s note: “Five Points Mafia” is a term used by numerous Columbia merchants and was not invented by a writer of the advertising-addicted mainstream media. See last year’s “Cut Off” story at http:// stpatsfivepoints.com) When I approached Kelly Glenn, owner of Village Idiot, she was by far the most friendly and forthcoming corrupt merchant. She admitted to making an eight percent commission on beer sales for organizing a mostly volunteer staff. Depending on beer sales, that figure may have been well over $10,000. Skip Anderson was not quite as forthcoming and denied making very much—
rain in Columbia during the festival, he gets a guaranteed $5,000. Talk about luck of the Irish! Year after fucking year, Van Loan gets monthly fees and expenses from FPA that total near $30,000—and the guy doesn’t even have to spend one minute walking the asphalt and playing with his nipples in a miniskirt. In addition, FPA has flipped the bill for meals for Jack and prominent politicians, but there’s no telling to the extent of the misallocation of funds due to the secrecy of FPA and the lack of city oversight. PEOPLE, THE GUY’S NAME IS “VAN FUCKING LOAN”!! In 2010, FPA received $280,000 in taxpayer funding from the city’s hospitality tax fund. This fiscal year, FPA requested $455,000 of the $2.5 million fund, but were only allocated the same $280K figure as last year. Thank God; otherwise, Five Points traffic would probably be clogged with
although records show he received at least $8,000 for his action on wristband sales from 2009. I don’t know about you, but $8,000 is “very much” to me. Hell, that could buy me—I mean, my delivery guy—about 300 blowjobs on Two Notch! “[My pay out] is not percentage based,” Anderson told City Paper. “I’m just here to help out and see what happens, man.” My impromptu interview with Mr. Anderson came to an abrupt halt when Duncan MacRae, the co-owner of Yesterday’s and a co-founder of St. Pat’s in Five Points, interrupted us. “Get off my ass,” MacRae demanded. Mr. MacRae, I have two statements for you. One: As a taxpayer, how about you stop ripping off my ass with $15 at the gate, and I’ll get off yours? And, two: everyone knows your meatloaf is made from fox squirrel road kill. Especially benefiting financially every year from the Five Points Leprechaun Carnival is Jack Van Loan, FPA’s economic development director (AKA expert extraordinaire at butt-fucking taxpayers). Van Loan receives what can be described as a “fat Al Roker fee”: if God doesn’t make it
oversized limousines driving back and forth between Speakeasy and Sharky’s. Hey, by the way, did I mention that FPA board member Richard Burts chairs the city’s Hospitality Tax Advisory Committee? Yo, G-Man in the Strom Thurmond Building, are you reading this?!?! This is all old news, though, so what about the figures for 2011? I guess I’ll have to break into the FPA office (again) to save myself the $118. Oh, what the fuck. Every year, our fair city ignores the Hospitality Tax funding problems and writes blank checks without any required certified audits from corrupt mafiosa organizations like FPA. City Council turns a blind eye, and taxpayers don’t seem to care that they’re being anally raped by a splintery old mop handle. All I have left is a famous quote by Emma Goldman: “If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.” (And based on Will Moredock’s column on page 7, who’s to say your vote will even be counted?) In the spirit of our fake democracy, this year I have decided to invent the commission figures and FPA takes. After all, in previous
“So without further ado, here are last year’s St. Patty’s Festival commission amounts not provided by FPA Executive Director Merrit Mchaffie”
years, they’ve always accused me of exaggerating. Why not cut to the chase? Yes, that means put away your red pen, Debbie McDaniel! (Five Points business owner Debbie McDaniel was voted back on the FPA board last year despite the fact that she failed to show up to the actual meeting when the vote occurred. In fact, none of the candidates running for the FPA board showed up at that meeting. Can anyone say ‘hubris’? The transparency of McDaniel, self-proclaimed queen of Five Points, can be seen from the monitors of Five Points’ security cameras in the back of Revente.) So without further ado, here are last year’s St. Patty’s Festival commission amounts not provided by FPA Executive Director Merrit Mchaffie: Beer Sales Commissions to Kelly Glenn for 2010 = estimated $10,000 (plus the pleasure of a goat’s anus smothered in peanut butter for three hours) Wrist Band Commissions to Skip Anderson to date = >$85,000 (Have you ever seen the gold-plated, four-leaf clover cock ring they give to Skippy each year?) Fees, Commissions, and Act of God bonuses to Jack Van Loan to date: >$150,000 (And as an added bonus, a local Baptist minister comes and gives him a lap massage.) Dennis Hiltner buying an “electric car” probably for the tax refund and then reselling it to FPA. = PRICELESS! [Editor’s note: Everything in this column is completely made up and not based on facts—except the fact that FPA is as corrupt as a Sicilian funeral parlor. Before anyone decides to sue my ass, listen loud and clear: THIS IS SATIRE!! Everyone knows Dennis Hiltner doesn’t fuck goats on the city’s dime. He prefers sheep. Also, there isn’t any truth to the rumor that the FPA Executive Director once eloped with a Delaney’s bartender while drunk in Vegas. Any-whoo, feel free to email merrittamchaffie@yahoo.com and ask for the actual St. Patty’s Festival commission figures or call her cell phone at 446-8929. She especially likes calls around 5 a.m. If you feel this column is handling the violation of records laws immaturely, please visit http://www.fivepointsASSociation.com for more information.] March 10, 2011
5
The recycling industry is one of the fastest growing sectors of the American economy. In 2009 the recycling industry created 1,354 new jobs, $6.5 billion in economic impact, and over $300 million in capital investments in South Carolina. South Carolina needs strong legislative policies that provide a consistent and sustainable stream of recycled material to promote recycling industry growth, increase jobs and reduce the need for landfills. Unfortunately, recycling in South Carolina is decreasing; today we recycle only 22% of our solid waste, far below the state goal of 35%. In 2009 an estimated 400,000 tons of recyclable material went into South Carolina’s landfills. To turn this trend around, and seize an economic opportunity, the conservation community supports S.461, the Alcoholic Beverage Container (ABC) Recycling bill, by Sen. Ray Cleary. It calls for establishments that have a permit for onsite consumption of alcohol to implement a recycling program in the next two years for plastic, corrugated cardboard, aluminum and glass. (The bill provides establishments without access to glass recyclers, 3 years to implement glass recycling.) S.461 also calls for these establishments to develop recycling plans guided by DHEC. Minimal funding would come from ½ of 1% (0.005) of the accommodations tax, which is approximately $200,000 - just a fraction of the $42 million collected by this tax in 2009. We encourage the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee, chaired by Sen. Paul Campbell, to help create thousands of jobs in South Carolina and approve this bill. In the House Phosphorus Bill (H.3470, Rep. Mike Pitts) PRIORITY H.3470 would prohibit the use, sell or manufacture of dishwashing detergents containing phosphates, a harmful chemical found in our lakes and rivers. Phosphorus is already banned in 15 states because it kills fish and lowers recreational revenues and home values. The bill will be discussed by the full House Agriculture Committee (Rep. Nelson Hardwick Chair, Paul Agnew, Nathan Ballentine, Bill Chumley, Tom Corbin, Bill Crosby, Chandra Dillard, Marion Frye, David Hiott, Bill Hixon, Ken Hodges, Patsy Knight, Joe 6
March 10, 2011
McEachern, Steve Moss, Chris Murphy, Kevin Ryan, Tommy Stringer and Ted Vick) Tuesday, March 1 at 2:30 pm in Blatt Room 410. Three Strikes Sewage Polluter Bill (H.3617 by Rep. Mike Pitts) PRIORITY The House Agriculture and Natural Resources Subcommittee (Rep. Paul Agnew- Chair, Tom Corbin, Patsy Knight and Steve Moss) heard testimony two weeks ago and voted to carry over this bill for further consideration at the next Subcommittee meeting to allow stakeholders time for negotiations. H.3617 would require any utility with three spills over 5,000 gallons in a 12-month period to undergo a comprehensive audit of what caused the spill and fix the problems identified. The conservation community continues to work with the wastewater utility industry to craft a bill that treats all utilities fairly and helps chronic violators come
Hardwick, Alan Clemmons, Dwight Loftis, and Means Committee has made its budget Tom Corbin, Liston Barfield, Anne Thayer, recommendations and individual House Andy Patrick, George Hearn, Chris Murphy, members will review the printed budget Kevin Ryan, Thad V! iers, Eric Bedingfield, in the upcoming weeks as they prepare for Tracy Edge, Bill Herbkersman, Jenny Horne the floor debate. Email your legislator and and Tommy Stringer) would allow the ask him or her to support natural resource construction of piers seaward of the OCRM agency funding. Agri-Business Economic baseline as long as they are “approved Development Act (H.3633, Rep. Dwight by the local governmental body having Loftis) SUPPORT This bill would help boost responsibility for planning and zoning.” South Carolina’s rural economy and alleviate This bill inappropriately shifts the authority the shortage of capital and credit available to allow construction seaward of the baseline in the agribusiness sector, by giving the from OCRM to entities that do not have Department of Agriculture the authority to the necessary experience or authority to make, purchase and insure agri-business adequately manage our coastal resources. loans. An Agriculture Subcommittee (Rep. The aforementioned full House Agriculture Marion Frye- Chair, Bill Chumley, Joe Committee will discuss both of these bills McEachern and Tommy Stringer) adjourned at its meeting, Tuesday, March 1 at 2:30 pm debate on this bill last week. in Blatt Room 410. A Senate Agriculture Subcommittee (Sen. Paul Campbell- Chair, In the Senate
“We encourage the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee, chaired by Sen. Paul Campbell, to help create thousands of jobs in South Carolina and approve this bill. ” into compliance. Marsh Canal Dredging (H.3587, Rep. Tracy Edge/S.497, Sen. Dick Elliott) and Pier Bill (H.3586, Rep. Nelson Hardwick/S.520, Sen. Ray Cleary) OPPOSE Last week, after hearing hours of testimony from conservationists, DHEC, Cherry Grove residents, and businesses, the Environmental Affairs I Subcommittee (Rep. David Hiott- Chair, Bill Crosby, Chandra Dillard and Chris Murphy) sent both bills to full committee with a favorable report. H.3587 (sponsored by Reps. Tracy Edge, Thad Viers, Nelson Hardwick, George Hearn, Alan Clemmons, Liston Barfield and Jackie Hayes) would bypass OCRM/DHEC and allow the U.S. Corps of Engineers to permit counties or municipalities to dredge manmade recreational use canals conveyed to the State before 1970. Although the bill is aimed at Cherry Grove, it could open the door for increased dredging of wetlands across the entire coast that are now under the protection of the Coastal Zone Management Act. H.3586 (sponsored by Rep. Nelson
Chip Campsen, Larry Grooms, Brad Hutto, Phil Leventis and Mike Rose) will meet on the Senate companion bills- S.497 by Sen. Dick Elliott and S.520 by Sen. Ray Cleary- Wednesday, March 2 at 11:00 am in Gressette Room 207. The conservation community is concer! ned that these bills would undo current environmental protecti! ons.&nbs p; We recommend that DHEC’s recently appointed Blue Ribbon Committee on Shoreline Management investigate the specific situations that these bills aim to solve. Natural Resource Agency FundingPRIORITY Forestry, agriculture, outdoor recreation and tourism account for $54 billion, or about one-third, of our economy. That’s over 450,000 jobs, or 25% of all jobs in South Carolina. However, the combined budgets of South Carolina Agriculture Department, Forestry Commission, Department of Natural Resources (DNR) and Department of Parks, Recreation and Tourism account for less than one percent of the state budget. The full House Ways
Alcoholic Beverage Container (ABC) Recycling (S.461, Sen. Ray Cleary) PRIORITY (S.461 is described in the introduction.) A Senate Agriculture Subcommittee (Sen. Paul Campbell- Chair, Ray Cleary, Floyd Nicholson and Kent Williams) will discuss this bill Wednesday, March 2 at 9:00 am in Gressette Room 308. Email your Senator to ask him to support this priority bill that creates South Carolina jobs. Prescribed Fire (S.501, Sen. Ronnie Cromer) SUPPORT Prescribed burns are the most efficient and cost effective tools for managing healthy forests. S.501 provides greater protection for landowners who choose to conduct prescribed burns on their property. The full Senate is scheduled to vote on this bill in the upcoming weeks. Energy Resolution (S.96, Sen. Larry Grooms) MONITOR Despite the fact that “cap & trade” bills failed in last year’s Congress and are no longer being pushed as a means of reducing carbon pollution, this concurrent resolution would ask South Carolina’s Congressional delegation to oppose federal cap and trade legislation. It does, however, encourage the development of state renewable energy portfolio standards. The full Senate Agriculture Committee amended and approved the resolution last week sending it to the full Senate for consideration, with a minority report placed on it in objection from Sen. Phil Leventis. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
By Will Moredock For months South Carolina’s touch screen voting machines have been the subject of ugly rumor and speculation. But it was only that – rumor and speculation. There were many anecdotal accounts of people pressing one name on the screen and another name lighting up. And, of course, there was the still unexplained business last June of Alvin Greene’s stunning victory in the Democratic U.S. Senate primary. Through it all, the State Election Commission has defended its machines, repeatedly claiming that not one vote was ever lost or miscounted. Until now there was no way to refute that claim. Now we have the smoking gun. A group of citizens, in association with the S.C. League of Women Voters, has conducted an audit of Richland County voting machine results from last November and the numbers don’t lie. According to the LWV, more than 1,000 votes from various precincts were missing from the certified totals in November’s General Election. Elsewhere in the county, the detailed vote image file did not provide confirmation for 1,362 votes which were certified. The Richland County voting machine data were independently analyzed by Dr. Duncan Buell, a computer science professor from the University of South Carolina, and Chip Moore, a Massachusetts programmer and South Carolina native. “The failure to count votes from some voting machines and the failure to document votes from other voting machines is a human failure, but it’s a human failure that the software should have caught, so the root cause is a software system that isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do,” Moore said in a LWV statement. “What we have done is to run some self-
checks that should always have been in the system.” This is only the latest controversy over the 1,200 iVotronic touch screen voting machines which the state uses exclusively. A few weeks ago, Colleton County reported 13,045 votes for statewide offices on Nov. 2. But an election audit showed that only 11,656 ballots were cast that day, according to the signature rolls. That means an extra 1,389 votes were reported and certified.
Heindel is not accusing anyone of vote fraud in the Colleton and Richland County incidents, but clearly when the voting system is so haphazard and unverifiable, almost anything can happen and it would be almost impossible to prove fraud. Help for our voting system may be on the way. Dr. Juan E. Gilbert, Chairman of the Division of Human-Centered Computing, at Clemson University, has developed a much simpler system and has produced a prototype in his lab at Clemson. Gilbert’s system would use a touch screen to select candidates, then print a paper ballot with those selections marked, which the voter could see. The paper ballot would then be scanned into a computer and tabulated. The results would be transmitted to the SEC for certification and every step of the process would be verifiable. It uses opensource software and runs on a bootable DVD, making it almost impossible to hack into. Gilbert told me that his prototype cost only $1, 500 to build and he is now demonstrating it to legislators and anyone else who is interested. Will our lawmakers use this information? Don’t get your hopes up. The GOP-dominated General Assembly appears curiously indifferent to the problems with the state’s voting machines. But they are hell-bent on passing a new law requiring voter ID to cast a ballot in South Carolina. This is spite of the fact that there is no evidence in recent decades of anyone trying to cast a vote under assumed identity. Yet, according to the LWV, perhaps as many as 100,000 voters – mostly poor and elderly – may be disenfranchised by the voter ID law. If the General Assembly cannot address this state’s scandalous election process, perhaps the U.S. Justice Department will.
“Our system is just too complicated for the average person to tell if it is working properly” As in the case of the Richland County machines, an investigation by the State Election Commission concluded that the skewed results were human error and not the fault of the machines. “Our system is just too complicated for the average person to tell if it is working properly,” according to Frank Heindel, who has led a citizens’ effort to replace the iVotronic machines. (See a record of the controversy at his website: scvotinginfo.com.) Heindel told me last week that the problem is lack of verification between what happens in the county polling places and what gets certified by the SEC. “I was surprised that nobody was checking and double-checking the results,” he said. “I thought the SEC was checking these things before certifying the votes. The county is not doing it and the state is not doing it.” Heindel doubts that anybody at the State Election Commission has the technical skills to do that kind of verification. “That’s unacceptable,” he said.
March 10, 2011
7
LOCK IN YOUR PRICE FOR ONE YEAR!
NO
NO Eq St to B uip ar m t- uy! en Up t Co st s!
120
NOW GET ACCESS TO OVER
CHANNELS
LOCAL CHANNELS INCLUDED* in over 97% of the U.S.
Peace and blessings. Hope you have 8) A Natural Woman (You Make Me been good out there. Congrats USC Like) Baseball for kicking off this new season 9) Chain Of Fools in great fashion. Hope your Black History 10) Since You’ve Been Gone Month was well; personally it was fantastic. 11) Think 2011 is upon us and the music keeps rolling 12) I Say A Little Prayer on. Last issue we covered a few Black 13) The House That Jack Built History musical facts. Today we’ll look 14) See Saw back at one of the greatest entertainers 15) The Weight before we ‘spring ahead’ in celebration of 16) A Rose Is Still A Rose Women’s History Month. Let’s get it. 17) Eleanor Rigby Aretha Franklin has been titled every 18) Call Me moniker someone of her talent and blessings 19) Spirit In The Dark deserves. From the ‘Queen of Soul’, the 20) Don’t Play That Song ‘incomparable one’, to ‘God’s gift’, and 21) You’re All I Need To Get By simply the ‘great’; Aretha Franklin has 22) Bridge Over Trouble Water done more in her career than most can 23) Spanish Harlem comprehend. As the first woman inducted 24) Oh me oh my (I’m a fool for you) into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and the 25) Day Dreaming winner of more Grammy’s (before or since 26) Wholy Holy her), Aretha is in class all by herself. Here 27) Angel are 30 of her best & brightest songs… 27) Until You Come Back To Me 1) Rock Steady (My personal (That’s What I’m Gonna Do) favorite) 28) I’m In Love 2) Amazing Grace 29) Jumping Jack Flash 3) I Never Loved a Man (the way I 30) Who’s Zooming Who love you) 4) Respect WORDS OF WISDOM 5) Do Right Woman-Do Right Man Enjoy all the time you are given!!! DJ 6) Save Me Kingpin (kingpinvillianofvinyl@gmail.com) 7) Baby, I Love
10
March 10, 2011
LIMITED TIME ONLY
29
$
99^ mo.
FOR 12 MONTHS
Ask how.
After rebate
Prices higher and terms & conditions vary in select markets, also dependent on the package selected. All offers require 2 year agreement.° Package pricing may vary in certain markets. Offer ends 7/20/11. Credit card required (except in MA & PA). New approved customers only (lease required). $19.95 Handling & Delivery fee may apply. Applicable use tax adjustment may apply on the retail value of the installation.
Switch in minutes! 1-888-485-2950 °2-YR. LEASE AGREEMENT: EARLY CANCELLATION WILL RESULT IN A FEE OF $20/MONTH FOR EACH REMAINING MONTH. Must maintain 24 consecutive months of your DIRECTV programming package. DVR Service $7/mo. required for DVR and HD DVR lease. HD Access fee $10/mo. required for HD Receiver and HD DVR. No lease fee for only 1 receiver. Lease fee for first 2 receivers $6/mo.; additional receiver leases $6/mo. ea. NON-ACTIVATION CHARGE OF $150 PER RECEIVER MAY APPLY. ALL EQUIPMENT IS LEASED AND MUST BE RETURNED TO DIRECTV UPON CANCELLATION, OR UNRETURNED EQUIPMENT FEES APPLY. VISIT directv.com OR CALL 1-800-DIRECTV FOR DETAILS. Advanced receiver instant rebate requires activation of the CHOICE XTRA Package or above; MÁS ULTRA or above (for DVR Receiver, OPTIMO MÁS Package or above); Jadeworld; or any qualifying international service bundle, which shall include the PREFERRED CHOICE programming package (valued at $38.99/mo.). Second advanced receiver offer requires activation of an HD DVR as the first free receiver upgrade and subscription to Whole-Home DVR Service ($3/mo.). Additional advanced receiver upgrades available for a charge. INSTALLATION: Standard professional installation only. Custom installation extra. ^BILL CREDIT/PROGRAMMING OFFER: IF BY THE END OF PROMOTIONAL PRICE PERIOD(S) CUSTOMER DOES NOT CONTACT DIRECTV TO CHANGE SERVICE THEN ALL SERVICES WILL AUTOMATICALLY CONTINUE AT THE THEN-PREVAILING RATES. LIMIT ONE PROGRAMMING OFFER PER ACCOUNT. Account must be in “good standing” as determined by DIRECTV in its sole discretion to remain eligible for all offers. In certain markets, programming/pricing may vary. *Eligibility for local channels based on service address. Not all networks available in all markets. Programming, pricing, terms and conditions subject to change at any time. Pricing residential. Taxes not included. Receipt of DIRECTV programming subject to DIRECTV Customer Agreement; copy provided at directv.com/legal and in first bill. ©2011 DIRECTV, Inc. DIRECTV and the Cyclone Design logo, CHOICE and CHOICE XTRA are trademarks of DIRECTV, Inc. All other trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners.
By Harvey Elwood Jr Not surprisingly, following the recent major Republican electoral victories, f e d e r a l and state budget deficits and shortfalls are a top political priority everywhere we turn. As a solution, several Republicancontrolled Midwestern state governments (Wisconsin, Ohio, Indiana) are attempting to restructure the way business is conducted with public service workers and the unions which represent them. Whatever happens will have a dramatic impact on educators, firefighters, public safety officers, hospital workers, sanitation workers, and all those who do the heavy lifting in the public service sector. Not to say that most other average hard-working men and women are not doing their share; after all, only seven percent of employees in the private sector are represented by unions. The idea being generally proposed by Republicans leaders in these Midwestern states is that state government should save taxpayers money and repeal some of the benefits of public service workers during these hard economic times, including the power of unions to bargain collectively on behalf of public service worker benefit packages. For many of us, this issue is beyond our experience. Most of us have never directly known the benefit of a union fighting for our worker rights. However, we can very well imagine walking into a courtroom without a lawyer to speak on our behalf. Many of these Republican leaders rightfully are asking why the community at large should bear the cost for public service employee benefits . No matter your position on the political spectrum, it’s a question worth answering. Here’s my answer: business (the private sector)
is about profit and not people. It’s hard to imagine many companies would willingly hand out profit shares, benefits, medical or pensions to employees without some type of collective action or group support on their behalf—even if the standard was set in another sector and sometimes even decades prior. Here’s an amazing quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., that helps defend my answer: “Less than a century ago, the laborer had no rights, little or no respect, and led a life which was socially submerged and barren. The children of workers had no childhood and no future. They, too, worked for pennies an hour and by the time they reached their teens they were worn-out old men, devoid of spirit, devoid of hope and devoid of selfrespect.” I’m no socialist and am not in favor of a welfare state, but I am very much for giving every working person a fair share and protection from corporate greed. Perhaps unions and public workers need to do a little bending in tough economic times—and this is exactly what the Midwestern public service unions have offered by way of concessions to the likes of Governor Walker of Wisconsin. But it would be absolutely wrong to do away with organizations that have long defended the rights of the working class. Let us not forget that unions gave us the five-day work week, vacation pay and the concept of retirement and workplace health insurance. In fact, it can be argued that without unions there would be no middle class of which to speak. In the end, this is still America, and everyone has the right to work themselves out of poverty and attain a higher standard of living for themselves and their children. But no man or woman is an island. At times, everyone needs an advocate, a voice. The author is a semi-retired civil servant and educator who now resides in Orangeburg. March 10, 2011
11
Thursday March 10 New Brookland Tavern The Private Life Of David Reed Foley Fusebox Poet Kemp Ridley Utopia (old location) Open mic w Betz Kirby The White Mule Uncle Mountain w/ Midway Blue Friday March 11 New Brookland Tavern “An Evening With:” Rocky Votolato Matt Pond PA Macs on Main Trudie Harris CD Release 5-9pm Utopia (old location) DNR White Mule Sir Real w/ John Brodeur Saturday March 12 Macs on Main Macs Allstars New Brookland Tavern Sawfest 2011 w/: Saint Diablo / Into The Deapths
Facedown / Full Color Guilt / Right To Fall We Sail At Dawn / Your Chance To Die / Homicyde
Wednesday March 16 White Mule Open Mic
Utopia (old location) Chris Compton
Thursday March 17 New Brookland Tavern Kasper’ Big Cheeze Young Fresh Dem Jump Out Boys Mic Grippa Switchblade Arcade
White Mule Connor Christian & Southern Gothic Sunday March 13 New Brookland Tavern Versus The Robot Life On Repeat A Brighter Life Divided By Friday Do Your Worst Monday White Mule Bushwalla w/ tba March 14 New Brookland Tavern NBT’s Musician Appriciation Night $1.50 PBR, $3 Jagermeister $4.25 JagerBombs & Jim Morrisons Tuesday March 15 White Mule Shark’s Parlor
Utopia Open Mic w Marv Ward St Patty’s Party at new location 3830 Rosewood White Mule The Reason Your Listening w/ Deleveled & Sounds of Suburbia Friday March 18 Art Bar The Bare Knuckle Champions, Delta Swagger Macs on Main Natural Desire New Brookland Tavern Larkin Poe TBA
Utopia 3830 Rosewood Devils in Disguise Saturday March 19 New Brookland Tavern 5pm Ninjaloot From Tomorrow Chivalry Ironwill 9pm Obraskai Host To Another Sacred Conflict Decadence Utopia 3830 Rosewood Jackaroe White Mule Joe Firstman w/ Marianne Keith & Joel Hamilton Sunday March 20 New Brookland Tavern Chad L. Diesel Jenkins Frost andTBA White Mule Danielle Howle w/ Angelo Gianni, Allison Taylor, & Adrianne Legg Tuesday March 22 New Brookland Tavern New Music Night w/: Black/White Oh The Calamity
Riders In The Sky Bell Auditorium Augusta, GA Bucktown Kickback Stillwater Taproom Augusta, GA DownHere Pinewood Christian Academy Bellville, GA Nothin’ Fancy Randy Wood Guitars Bloomingdale, GA Passafire Livewire Music Hall Savannah, GA Domino Effect North Beach Grill Tybee Island, GA Tony Rice Mountain Heart Diana Wortham Theatre Asheville, NC
March 10, 2011
March 15th called Pursuit of Radical Rhapsody. Joining Meola on the album are former Weather Report drummer Peter Erskine, Percussionist Mino Cinelu, and Hungary’s Sturcz String Quartet. If this show doesn’t sell out it will be as disgraceful as the empty upper section of the Township when B.B. King played there in 2005. If you are wondering why great musicians don’t pass through the Columbia area, try getting your ass out to these amazing shows when they are available! music@ columbiacitypaper.com
Road Trip
03/18/11 :: Friday The Hypsys Rye Bar Athens, GA
12
Jazz guitar and living legend Al Di Meola will be performing live at Newberry Opera House on Sunday, March 20th at 3pm. If you haven’t taken the 45 minute drive to historic Newberry there is no better excuse than to see this grammy award winning jazz guitarist. Meola played with Chick Corea’s group in the 70’s and has toured with Carlos Santana. (Too bad he hasn’t appeared with Dave Matthews otherwise half you idiots from USC would go experience a true jazz legend.) Meola is touring to promote his latest album out
Southern Culture On The Skids G r e y Eagle Asheville, NC Celtic Crossroads Knight Theater Charlotte, NC
The Mantras Bubonik Funk Neighborhood Theatre Charlotte, NC The Four Tops Ovens Auditorium Charlotte, NC Dean Fields T h e Evening Muse Charlotte, NC Daryl Hance The Philosopher’s Stone Charlotte, NC The Train Wrecks Plum’s Beaufort, SC DJ R Dot O’Malley’s Bar and Grille Charleston, SC Jonathan Tyler & The Northern Lights The Music Farm Charleston, SC Weigh Station The Pour House Charleston, SC Jonny Diaz F i r s t Presbyterian Church Hartsville, SC
Donna Hopkins Band Hometeam Bbq Sullivans Island, SC
03/19/11 :: Saturday Strawberry Flats Melting Point Athens, GA John Mcdermott Festival Hall Greensboro, GA
Turtle Folk L i v e Wire Music Hall Savannah, GA Mama’s Love Locos Savannah, GA The Train Wrecks The Jinx Savannah, GA T h e Hypsys Gnat’s Landing Statesboro, GA Town Mountain The Black Lillies Grey Eagle Asheville, NC The Hot Seats Jack of the Wood Asheville, NC The Four Tops Ovens Auditorium Charlotte, NC Ken Will Morton Snug Harbor Charlotte, NC Adicts Tremont Music Hall
Charlotte, NC
The New Familiars Visulite Theatre Charlotte, NC Sidewalk Prophets Newsboys David Crowder Band Kutless Francesca Battistelli Red KJ-52 Chris Sligh Chris August Crown Coliseum Fayetteville, NC Chalwa O l d e Hickory Tap Room Hickory, NC Eileen Ivers Gaillard Auditorium Charleston, SC Frontiers (Journey Tribute) T h e Music Farm Charleston, SC Jonathan Scales (Jon Scales Fourchestra) The Pour House Charleston, SC Big Daddy Love Gottrocks Greenville, SC Apocalyptica The Handlebar Greenville, SC
Who’s Bad House of Blues N . Myrtle Beach, SC Aaron Tippin Newberry Opera House Newberry, SC Delbert McClinton Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium Spartanburg, SC Bucktown Kickback Fiery Ron’s Home Team BBQ Sullivan’s Island, SC 03/20/11 :: Sunday Mike Gordon Orange Peel Asheville, NC Graham Whorley Coast Charleston, SC Dopapod The Pour House Charleston, SC Jonny Diaz F i r s t Presbyterian Church Hartsville, SC Al Di Meola Newberry Opera House Newberry, SC Daryl Hance Hometeam Bbq Sullivans Island, SC
movie times Movie times listed are for (PG-13, No Passes) the weekend of March 11:00am 1:50 4:40 7:30 10. Please confirm times 10:20 with theater. Mars Needs Moms new! Regal Columbia (PG, No Passes) Cinema 7 10:30am 12:50 3:10 3400 Forest Drive 5:30 7:50 10:10 Suite 3000, Columbia, SC 29204 Red Riding Hood new! (PG-13, No Passes) Red Riding Hood new! 10:45am 1:30 4:15 7:00 (PG-13) 9:45 2:15 4:45 7:20 9:50 Regal Columbiana Rango new! (PG) Grande Stadium 14 2:00 2:30 4:30 5:00 7:00 1250 Bower Pkwy, 7:30 9:30 10:00 Columbia, SC 29212 I Am Number Four (PG-13) 2:05 4:35 7:15 9:45 Unknown (PG-13) 2:10 4:50 7:40 10:10 Gnomeo and Juliet 3D (G)2:25 4:55 7:10 9:40 Just Go With It (PG-13) 2:00 4:40 7:25 10:05 Carmike Wynnsong 10 5320 Forest Drive, Columbia, SC 29206 Battle: Los Angeles new! (PG-13) 1:00 2:00 3:50 5:30 7:00 8:30 9:45 Mars Needs Moms new! (PG) 1:40 4:00 7:30 9:50 Mars Needs Moms 3D new! (PG) Disney Digital 3D 1:10 3:30 7:10 9:30 The Adjustment Bureau new! (PG-13) 1:05 3:45 7:15 9:50 Beastly new! (PG-13) 1:30 3:55 7:05 9:25 Take Me Home Tonight new! (R)9:55pm Hall Pass (R) 1:25 4:05 7:15 10:00 Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (PG-13) 1:20 4:00 7:20 10:00 Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D (G) Digital 3D 1:05 3:50 7:10 The King’s Speech (R) 1:15 4:10 7:05 9:55 AMC Dutch Square 14 800 Bush River Rd., Columbia, SC 29210 Battle: Los Angeles new!
Battle: Los Angeles new! (PG-13) 1:50 2:20 4:30 5:00 7:15 7:45 10:00 10:30 Mars Needs Moms new! (PG)1:30 3:40 5:50 8:00 10:10 Mars Needs Moms 3D new! (PG, No Passes) 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 The Adjustment Bureau new! (PG-13) 2:00 2:40 4:40 5:20 7:20 7:50 9:50 10:20 Beastly new! (PG-13) 1:40 4:20 7:10 9:45 Rango new! (PG) 1:20 2:15 4:00 5:10 7:00 7:40 9:30 10:10 Take Me Home Tonight new! (R) 4:25 10:05 Hall Pass (R) 1:45 4:15 7:05 9:35 Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (PG-13) 1:55 7:35 I Am Number Four (PG-13) 2:25 4:55 7:55 10:25 Just Go With It (PG-13) 1:10 4:10 7:25 10:15 The King’s Speech (R) 1:15 4:05 6:55 9:55 Carmike 14 122 Afton Court, Columbia, SC 29212 Red Riding Hood new! (PG-13) 1:00 2:00 3:45 4:45 6:45 7:30 9:15 10:05 Drive Angry 3D (R) Digital 3D 2:15 4:55 7:35 10:05 Unknown (PG-13) 1:45 4:30 7:15 10:00
Gnomeo and Juliet (G) 2:20 4:35 7:20 9:30 Gnomeo and Juliet 3D (G)Digital 3D 1:50 4:00 6:50 9:00 Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D (G) 1:20 4:10 7:00 9:35 Sanctum (R) 1:35 4:15 7:00 9:30 The Company Men (R) 1:30 4:20 7:05 9:40 Blue Valentine (R) 1:55 4:40 7:10 9:50
Justin Bieber Never Say Never: The Director’s Fan Cut 3D (G) 1:50 4:25 7:15 9:50 Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (PG-13) 12:25 2:55 5:25 7:55 10:25 I Am Number Four (PG-13) 11:55am 2:25 4:55 7:25 9:55 Unknown (PG-13) 12:20 2:50 5:20 7:50 10:20
The Fighter (R) 1:40 4:25 7:10 9:50
Gnomeo and Juliet (G) 12:00 2:20 4:45 7:05 9:30
Tron: Legacy (PG) 1:05 3:55 6:55 9:45
Just Go With It (PG-13) 4:20 10:10
The Tourist (PG-13) 1:15 4:05 6:55 9:25
The King’s Speech (R) 1:40 7:25
127 Hours (R) 2:10 5:00 7:25 9:55
Nickelodeon http://www.nickelodeon. org/ 937 Main Street
Regal Sandhill Stadium 16 450 Town Center Place Battle: Los Angeles new! (PG-13) 11:50am 1:30 2:30 4:10 5:10 7:20 7:50 10:00 10:30 Mars Needs Moms new! (PG)12:30 2:45 5:00 7:30 Mars Needs Moms 3D new! (PG) 12:00 2:15 4:30 7:00 9:20 Red Riding Hood new! (PG-13) 12:05 2:35 5:05 7:40 10:15 The Adjustment Bureau new! (PG-13) 12:15 2:45 5:15 7:45 10:15 Beastly new! (PG-13) 12:20 2:35 4:50 7:35 9:45 Rango new! (PG) 12:10 2:10 2:40 4:40 5:10 7:10 7:40 9:40 10:10 Take Me Home Tonight new! (R) 9:40pm Hall Pass (R) 3:00 5:30 8:00 10:30 Open Captioned & Descriptive Audio 12:30pm
Another Year Over the course of a tumultuous year, contented medical counselor Gerri (Ruth Sheen) and her geologist husband, Tom (Jim Broadbent), see their friends and relations through a series of happy events and heartbreaks -- including a birth and a death. Imelda Staunton and Oliver Maltman co-star in this characterdriven ensemble dramedy from writerdirector Mike Leigh (Happy-Go-Lucky, Vera Drake, Secrets & Lies). Another Year @ Nick MARCH 11-17, FridayThursday Friday Mar. 11 - 3:00, 6:00 and 8:30 Saturday Mar. 12 - 3:00, 6:00 and 8:30 Sunday Mar. 13 - 3:00, 6:00 and 8:30 Monday Mar. 14 - 6:00 and 8:30 Tuesday Mar. 15 - 8:30 ONLY Wednesday Mar. 16 3:00, 6:00 and 8:30 Thursday Mar. 17 - 6:00 and 8:30 St. Andrews Cinema 5 527 St Andrews Road (803) 772-7469 Please call Regal Pastime Pavilion 8 929 North Lake Drive, Lexington, SC 29072
By Judit Trunkos McKissick Museum is located on the historic USC Horseshoe and is known for featuring exhibitions that emphasizes research and the evolution of science. McKissick presents an exhibit on environmental research titled “USC Chernobyl Research Initiative: 25 Years After the Disaster.” The exhibition is presented by USC professors who have visited Chernobyl on multiple occasions. Professors TimMousseauand and Rudy Mancke’s (yes, the well-known naturalist) work in the field is showcased on the museum’s third floor through May 6. On April 26, 1986, the world’s worst nuclear power plant accident took place in Chernobyl, Ukraine (part of the former Soviet Union). The explosion occurred during a systems test, and engineers were unable to operate the emergency shutdown system. A series of explosions sent a plume of radioactive fallout into the atmosphere and over an extensive geographical area. The toxic plume drifted over large parts of the Western Soviet Union, Eastern and Central Europe, Western Europe, and Northern Europe. Large areas in today’s Ukraine, Belarus and Russia had to be evacuated, with over 336,000 people ultimately resettled. Shockingly, the Soviet government failed to warn millions of citizens in the nearby countries of Hungary, Poland and former Czechoslovakia, who took to the streets for Labor Day celebrations on May 1. Despite the accident, Ukraine continued to operate the remaining reactors at Chernobyl for many years. The last reactor at the site was closed down in 2000, 14 years after the infamous accident. Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus have been burdened with the continuing and substantial decontamination and health care costs of the Chernobyl accident. Fifty deaths, all among the reactor staff and emergency workers, are directly attributed to the accident. An additional 4,000 deaths were caused by the explosions, and the affected region is still a high cancer-risk area. Since 1998, USC has sponsored research related to the long-term ecological and health consequences of this catastrophic nuclear accident, thanks to donations by USC alumni William E. Murray, Sherry Beasley and Bruce Coull. The research at Chernobyl is important for the understanding of long-term consequences of radiation and ecosystems and human health, and it will be instrumental in predicting the environmental half-lives of these contaminants. In 2003, Professor Mancke and Jim Welch shot an episode of SCETV’s “NatureScene” at Chernobyl. This episode documented the conditions of plants and animals living in the affected area.
The “USC Chernobyl Research Initiative” exhibit showcases the research conducted by Dr.Mousseau and his colleagues on the ecological impact of Chernobyl, including plants and rocks collected in the area, together with images taken of affected areas and animals. As a result of their continuous trips to the area, USC has over eight years of internationally-recognized baseline data for several species. The goal of this long-term research is to be able to predict ecosystem recovery after a nuclear blast. This research is also of significance for hazard assessment related to industrial, military or terrorist nuclear incidents and the effects of mutagens on evolutionary responses of natural populations. In a recent study, published in the journal PLoS One, Dr. Mousseau and his colleagues studied 550 birds belonging to 48 different species living in exclusion zones set up around the site of the accident. The researchers found that due to the nuclear accident, small brains, such as young bird brains, were particularly impacted. “This suggests that many of the birds with smaller brains are not surviving to the next year, perhaps related to decreased cognitive abilities,” says Dr. Mousseau. “Not only are their brains smaller, but it seems they are not as capable at dealing with their environment as evidenced by their lower rates of survival.” Stressed birds often adapt in difficult environmental conditions by changing the size of some of their organs. Perhaps for obvious reasons, the brain is the last organ to be sacrificed in this manner, meaning the radiation could be having worse impacts on other organs of the birds. Dr. Mousseau says there is information in the medical literature to suggest that low-dose radiation can also be harmful to humans, including recent studies on children in northern Ukraine, who have higher rates of neural tube defects and related neurological disorders than other children in uncontaminated regions of Ukraine and Europe. Thanks to the great work of Jill Koverman, Chief Curator of Collections and Research of the McKissick Museum, and Erika Shofner’s research and assistance, the “USC Chernobyl Research Initiative” exhibit points out the significance of the disaster and the importance of the research conducted by USC professors. The exhibit portrays some of the collected plants and rocks and serves as a great multidisciplinary show for students and visitors combining anthropology, environmental studies, biology and political science. To learn more about “USC Chernobyl Research Initiative” visit: http://cricket. biol.sc.edu/chernobyl/Chernobyl_ Research_Initiative/Introduction.html. March 10, 2011
13
SavageLove Sex Advice by Dan Savage
I’m a 41-year-old, very attractive, happily married woman. My husband and I have been together for 15 years. When we first met, the sex was absolutely incredible. After we got married, the sex was good, not great. This was because we were busy raising our children. (My husband had custody of 4-year-old twins, children from his first marriage, when we married.) After the girls went off to college, things went right back to absolutely incredible. One night, we were talking about our sexual fantasies, and I confessed that since my mid-30s I’ve fantasized about being with a younger man. He told me that he’d be fine with me living out that fantasy if I would have a MFF threesome with him. I agreed, and we had the MFF threesome with a friend of mine. Here’s my question: How do I go about finding a gorgeous college-age man? I thought about posting an ad on Craigslist, but you’ve said that most of the people on Craigslist are flakes and picture collectors. Do you have better suggestions for finding a straight college-age guy for a no-strings-attached encounter? I’m in the Pacific Northwest, if that makes a difference. Also, I’m a complete newbie to this, so I’d appreciate a rundown of all of the usual safety advice when meeting a stranger for sex. Mrs. Robinson Seeks Benjamin P.S. Here is my e-mail address in case any of your gorgeous, male, college-age readers in the Pacific Northwest are interested: [e-mail deleted]. I don’t print the e-mail addresses of readers looking for hookups, MRSB, as I am a professional advice columnist, thankyouverymuch, not a yentapimp for wannabe Mrs. Robinsons. (It also gives my lawyer fits. “What if you print this woman’s e-mail address and she meets a nice young man who turns out to be Ted Bundy?” says my lawyer, who is old enough to remember who Ted Bundy was.) But save for asking me to print your e-mail address in the column, MRSB, I approve of everything you and your husband are doing. Married olds everywhere should follow your example: You got through the lean years with decent-if-uninspired sex, you didn’t become bitter about all that decent-if-uninspired sex, you got back to indecent-and-inspired sex once the kids headed to college (which you were able to do because you didn’t let yourselves get bitter), and—most importantly—instead of freaking out and shooting down each other’s sexual fantasies, you’re helping each other realize those fantasies. Brafuckingvo. So how do you find the right young man? Trawl the net, like all the other horndogs, and get your husband to help. (You asked your friend to have that three-way, right? Your husband can place a few “hotwife” ads.) Yes, there are fakers and flakes on Craigslist—lots and lots—but there are some real boys to be had; there’s also FetLife. com and AshleyMadison.com and a million other hookup sites. Cast a wide net. Once you’ve found a potential Benjamin: Make sure you know his real name, meet in public, discuss safety (condoms) and sexual health (tested recently?), and be sure to let him know that someone else—someone heavily armed—knows where you are and who you’re with and when you’re supposed to be back. Here’s the tricky part: If you don’t get a good feeling when you meet in person—if he seems dodgy, if his pics lied, if he gives off a rape-y/serial-killer-y/lawyer-y- fitvindicating vibe—don’t go through with it.
14
March 10, 2011
P.S. Oh, what the hell: MRSB’s e-mail address is j.e.robinson71@gmail.com. Have at her, Benjamins. I’m a 24-year-old straight male. For the past six months, I’ve been dating an amazing GGG girl. We have amazing sex. The other night, after a week of no sex, I came on to her in bed. She turned me down and said that she was okay with me masturbating on the other side of the bed so she could sleep. After a very unsatisfying orgasm, I told her I understood her need to sleep, since we had an early engagement the next morning, but that this was difficult for me. She said we’d have great sex the next day, which we did. Which one of us needs to be GGG in this scenario, should it happen again? Fucking Early Engagement Botches Lovely Evening A week is a long time to go without at your age and at six months and prekids, I realize, but it sounds like the girlfriend more than made it up to you the next day. As for who needs to be GGG in this scenario, should it happen again (and it will)... GGG demands a little something of both of you. GGG requires you to stop whining about having to wait 24 whole hours for awesome sex, FEEBLE, and GGG requires her—if she isn’t completely exhausted (and it appears she wasn’t, as she was still awake when your “very unsatisfying orgasm” was over)—to come through with a loving assist when you’re desperate and she’s not feeling it, i.e., lie with you, talk dirty to you, stick a finger up your butt—whatever—for the 5 or 10 minutes it takes you to drain your sack.
JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS
“Go Get Schooled”--some scholastic necessities.
by Matt Jones Across 1 Garlic unit 5 Treasury agent, slangily 9 FDR’s dog 13 Dr. Frankenstein’s go-to guy 14 Feudal slave 16 Form of quartz 17 Chimney passage 18 Holodeck locale 20 Some college students can’t go without it 22 Mind reading? 23 Finish making payments on 24 Examines the depths 28 Detergent brand in a pink package 30 Once-homeless “GoldenVoiced” Williams 33 Atlanta university 34 Reason for a siren 37 Hired helper 38 Some high school students can’t go without it 41 Demeanor 42 “Listen up!” 43 Gymnast Kerri 45 “___ Punk!” (1998 Matthew Lillard movie) 46 Spot in the sea 50 “Old MacDonald” noise
52 Dictation stat, for short 54 The Diamondbacks, on scoreboards 55 Some elementary school students can’t go without it 59 They’re set by deadlines 62 Shakespeare’s “Poor me!” 63 Walkie-talkie word 64 Car, in Caracas 65 Russian music duo that often teases that they’ll kiss onstage 66 “Onion ___ Network” 67 Backtalk 68 Miasma
Down 1 Hit the ground hard 2 Less hot 3 Lizard’s locale 4 La ___ Tar Pits 5 “The Vampire Diaries” network 6 2006 ABC drama with Anne Heche 7 ___Vista (alternative to Google) 8 Wassailer’s song 9 How-to series with a distinctive yellow cover 10 Folk rocker DiFranco 11 Fleur-de-___ 12 Woodsman’s tool 15 Surround from all sides
19 Feature of a dirty desk 21 Tag shout 25 ___ and groan 26 Prison on a ship 27 Late Pink Floyd member Barrett 29 They’re dialed to send pages 31 Watercolor prop 32 They dry in the kitchen 35 Apt. ad stat 36 “Lost” actor Daniel ___ Kim 38 First name in Latin jazz legends 39 Gateway Arch architect Saarinen 40 Fairy tale surname 41 Big newspapers and magazines, etc. 44 Score for the San Jose Earthquakes 47 Dipsy’s playmate 48 Fake 49 It may pop out of a box 51 Psych ending 53 Model actions 56 Doc blocs 57 Costa ___ 58 Eightfold ___ (Buddhist principle) 59 Boatload 60 “___ Been Everywhere” 61 Sound from a litter ©2011 Jonesin’Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)
I’m writing to ask you to help me spread the word about an issue close to my heart. I am a 23-year-old woman without medical insurance who relies on Planned Parenthood. They have done SO MUCH for me. They have provided me with birth control, annual Pap smears that I can actually afford, and emotional support that helped me get over an abusive relationship and sexual assault. The US House of Representatives passed a bill last week that would cut all federal funding for Planned Parenthood. This isn’t just an attack on American women. Planned Parenthood educates the entire community about sexual health and sexually transmitted infections. I know I don’t need to preach to you. I plan to write to my senators about this, and I am encouraging everyone I know to do so. What I ask is that you mention this in your column as soon as possible. My Body, My Choice Done and done, MBMC. We used to have a regular feature at Savage Love called “Straight Rights Watch.” It lapsed when the Democrats took the House in 2006 and political attacks on the sexual freedoms of straight people decreased. But the GOP is back in charge of the House and state houses across the country, and attacks on the sexual freedoms of heterosexuals— attempts to ban abortion, restrict access to birth control, destroy Planned Parenthood (which doesn’t just serve straight people), even make it legal to kill abortion providers (!!!)—are back, and so, sadly, is Straight Rights Watch. Hello? Heterosexuals? Your legislators need to hear from you, and they need to hear from you now. Go to www.istandwithplannedparenthood.org and add your name to an open letter to Congress, then swing over to www.plannedparenthood.org, click Donate, and give what you can. CONFIDENTIAL TO MADISON, WISCONSIN: Hey, don’t let those lying bastards at Fox News get you down. To everyone else: Meet the people who are taking a stand at www.youtube. com/wethepeoplewisconsin.
Curious about men? Other guys are too.
TRY FOR FREE
803.409.0011 Discreet Talk
18+
March 10, 2011
15