Baltimore City Paper, Vol. 32, No. 38: Best of Baltimore (part 1)

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CITY PAPER

BALTIMORE’S BEST ALTERNATIVE WEEKLY ★ VOL. 32 NO. 38, SEPT. 17-SEPT. 24, 2008 ★ WWW.CITYPAPER.COM

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BEST

OF BALTIMORE

2008


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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

Contents INTRODUCTION/9 R E A D E R S P O L L / 12

BALTIMORE LIVING/ 1 6 Best Community Transportation Project/V e l o c i p e d e by Michael Byrne Best Reason to Live Here ............................ 17 Best Reason to Leave Here .......................... 17 Best New City Motto .................................. 18 Best Neighborhood .................................... 18 Best Alley to Steal a Kiss ............................ 18 Best Festival ................................................ 18 Best Photo Op .............................................. 18 Best View .................................................... 18 Best Eyesore ................................................ 18 Best Local Landmark .................................. 18 Best Haunted Clock Tower ........................ 19 Best Monument .......................................... 19 Best Big Head .............................................. 19 Best Non-Art Museum................................ 19 Best Kick-Ass Museum .............................. 19 Best Place to Take Out of Town Visitors .... 19 Best Place to Feel Like a Monk .................. 19 Best Place to Take Kids .............................. 22 Best Library Branch, City .......................... 22 Best Library Branch, County...................... 22 Best Post Office............................................ 22 Best City Service.......................................... 22 Best Use of Taxpayer Funds ...................... 22 Best Misuse of Taxpayer Funds ................ 22 Best Self-Satisfaction ................................ 22 Best Park ...................................................... 25 Best Community Garden............................ 25 Best Excuse to Lie on the Grass on a Spring Afternoon ................................ 25 Best Place to Stroll ...................................... 27 Best Place to Walk Dogs ............................ 27 Best Place to Hike........................................ 27 Best Place to Run ........................................ 27 Best Place to Kill Time ................................ 27 Best Place to Paddle .................................... 27 Best Place to Swim...................................... 28 Best Environmental Aroma ...................... 28 Best Bombed-Out Block ............................ 28 Best Area We’d Like to See Revitalized .... 28 Best NIMBYs ................................................ 28 Best Urban Planning Blog ........................ 28 Best Bus Line................................................ 33 Best Bus Out of the City .............................. 33 Best Place to Watch Government Workers

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Turn Into an Angry Mob ............................ 33 Best Public Transit Change, Actual .......... 33 Best Public Transit Change, Proposed ...... 33 Best Boon to MTA User-Friendliness ........ 33 Best Proposed Use of the Light Rail Tracks ........................................ 33 Best Trainspotting ...................................... 33 Best Reason to Visit an Industrial Zone............................................ 33 Best Driving Tour for Visiting In-Laws .... 33 Best Day Trip From Baltimore, Educational ..................................................33 Best Day Trip From Baltimore, Leisure .... 34 Best Car-Free Weekend Getaway.............. 34 Best Place to Bike ........................................ 34 Best Place to Bust a Lung on a Bike .......... 34 Best Bicycling-Related Engineering Misstep .................................. 34 Best Local Athlete ...................................... 34 Best Oriole .................................................. 34 Best Raven .................................................. 34 Best Sports Firing (We Think).................... 37 Best Place to Watch Tomorrow’s NBA All-Stars Today .................................. 37 Best Big Game Hunter ................................ 37 Best Place to Bowl ...................................... 37 Best Scientist .............................................. 37 Best Do-Gooder............................................ 37 Best Young Activist .................................... 39 Best Idea for Youth Programming............ 39 Best Philanthropic Endeavor .................... 39 Best Nonprofit Organization .................... 39

NEWS & MEDIA/42 Best Insider Perspective/ Page Croyder by Edward Ericson Jr. Best Politician, Getting the Job Done ...... 43 Best Politician, Personality ...................... 43 Best Eva Peron Imitation .......................... 44 Best Failed Parliamentary Stunt.............. 44 Best Kept Open Secret ................................ 44 Best Reefer Madness Imitation ................ 44 Best Political Power Play .......................... 44 Best Local Scandal ...................................... 44 Best Local Issue We’re Sick of.................... 44 Best “Good News” ...................................... 44 Best Reason to Get Shot in Baltimore ...... 44 Best Billboard.............................................. 47 Best Gag Order ............................................ 47 Best Questionable High Five .................... 47 C I T Y

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Best Questionable Move ............................ 47 Best Development Project ........................ 47 Best Development Project That Should Be Happening But Isn’t ................ 47 Best Part of the East Side Development So Far .................................. 47 Best Crushing Bureaucratic Nightmare .................................................. 47 Best Symbol of the Housing Bubble ........ 47 Best Fine-Avoidance Strategy .................. 49 Best Belt Tightening .................................. 49 Best New Public Servant .......................... 49 Best One Step Forward, Two Steps Back .......................................... 49 Best Proof That North Avenue Is Getting More Hands-On ........................ 49 Best Plans for the School System.............. 49 Best Passed-Over Gambling Idea ............ 49 Best Way to Deal With Those Annoying Pony-Powered Produce Peddlers.............. 49 Best Place to Be a Federal Snitch .............. 49 Best Background Check ............................ 49 Best Money Laundering Scam .................. 53 Best Ne’er-Do-Well...................................... 53 Best Bail Bondsman.................................... 53 Best Poster Child for Baltimore’s Shadow Economy .................. 54 Best Reformed Gangster ............................ 54 Best Public Information Officer................ 54 Best Flack .................................................... 54 Best Local Magazine .................................. 54 Best Local Newspaper ................................ 54 Best Business Plan ...................................... 54 Best Former Sun Reporter .......................... 54 Best Comeback ............................................ 57 Best Columnist ............................................ 57 Best Reason to Die in Baltimore................ 57 Best Local Blog ............................................ 57 Best Civilized Blog ...................................... 59 Best Baltimore-Related Web Site.............. 59 Best Wi-Fi Hotspot...................................... 59 Best Local YouTube Clip ............................ 59 Best TV Commercial .................................. 59 Best TV Newscast........................................ 63 Best News Anchor ...................................... 63 Best TV News Reporter .............................. 63 Best Local Radio Personality .................... 64 Best Local Sportscaster .............................. 64 Best Poster That Didn’t Stay Up Long ...... 66 Best Lost Cause............................................ 67 Best Place to Land on Your Feet ................ 67

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Best Non-Music Radio Show .................... 67 Best Radio Station for Talk ........................ 67 Best Struggle Against Long-Term Memory Loss .......................... 67

GOODS & SERVICES/70 Best Shave and a Haircut/ The Quinnessential Gentleman by Jess Harvell Best Women’s Clothing Store .................... 71 Best Men’s Clothing Store .......................... 71 Best Children’s Clothing Store .................. 71 Best Place to Buy Jeans .............................. 71 Best Kept Shopping Secret ........................ 73 Best Arrival of a Chain .............................. 73 Best Women’s Shoe Store .......................... 73 Best Men’s Shoe Store ................................ 73 Best Place to Buy Sneakers ........................ 73 Best Thrift Store .......................................... 73 Best Hairstylist............................................ 73 Best Men’s Haircut...................................... 73 Best Tailor .................................................. 74 Best Dry Cleaner ........................................ 74 Best Laundromat ........................................ 74 Best Local Cosmetics .................................. 74 Best Local Jewelry Designer ...................... 74 Best Local Etsy-er ........................................ 74 Best Place to Get an Engagement Ring ...................................... 74 Best Thing to Happen to Divorce Since Divorce ................................ 74 Best Florist .................................................. 74 Best Garden Store........................................ 77 Best Place to Buy New Furniture .............. 77 Best Place to Buy Used Furniture .............. 77 Best Way to Green Your Rowhouse on a Budget .............................. 77 Best Antique Store ...................................... 77 Best Severed Foot ........................................ 77 Best Flea Market.......................................... 77 Best Handyman .......................................... 77 Best Contractor .......................................... 79 Best Movers ................................................ 79 Best Local Hardware Store ........................ 79 Best Place to Buy Groceries........................ 79 Best Russian Grocery Store........................ 79 Best Antidote to Locavore Fanaticism .................................. 79 Best Farmers Market .................................. 79 Best Reason to Go to Harbor East Farmers Market .................... 79

September 17, 2008


CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008 Best Butcher ................................................ 82 Best Place to Buy Feta Cheese.................... 82 Best Honey .................................................. 82 Best Produce Stand .................................... 82 Best Wine Store .......................................... 82 Best Beer Store ............................................ 82 Best Place to Buy Alcohol on Sundays .... 83 Best Place to Have a Baby .......................... 83 Best Child Care ............................................ 83 Best Place to Buy a Bike for a Kid .............. 83 Best Toy Store ............................................ 84 Best “Adult” Store ...................................... 84 Best Tattoo Studio ...................................... 84 Best Pawnshop .......................................... 84 Best Gun Range .......................................... 84 Best Bail Bonds Name................................ 84 Best Place to Flex Your Muscles ................ 84 Best Place to Work Out .............................. 84 Best Place to Try Out a Sport .................... 84 Best Place to Get a Massage ...................... 86 Best Yoga Studio ........................................ 86 Best Health Care Provider ........................ 86 Best Gynecologist ...................................... 86 Best Geriatric Rehab .................................. 86 Best Dentist ................................................ 86 Best Accountant for Starving Artists ...... 86 Best Cheap Culture Fix .............................. 87 Best Independent Bookstore .................... 87 Best Used-Book Store.................................. 87 Best Comic Book Store................................ 87 Best Newsstand .......................................... 90 Best CD Store .............................................. 90 Best Place to Buy Vinyl .............................. 90 Best Amplifier Maker ................................ 90 Best Place to Rent Movies.......................... 90 Best Place to Rent Movies for Free............ 90 Best Photo Resource.................................... 91 Best Yarn Store ............................................ 91 Best Hostel .................................................. 91 Best Bike Shop ............................................ 91 Best Auto Repair Shop ................................ 91 Best Pet Supply Store .................................. 91 Best Fish Store ............................................ 91 Best Place to Adopt a Dog .......................... 91 Best Animal Hospital/Vet ........................ 91

DINING/92 Best Ice Cream Shop/ Dominion Ice Cream by Mary K. Zajac Best New Restaurant ..................................93 Best Fancy Restaurant .............................. 93 Best Cheap Restaurant .............................. 93 Best Kid-Friendly Dining .......................... 95 Best Outdoor Dining .................................. 95 Best Street Vendor ...................................... 95 Best Late-Night Dining .............................. 95 Best Place to Eat Alone .............................. 95 Best Place to Have Your Fortune Told While Eating ..............................................97 Best Restaurant Service ............................ 97 Best Former Employees.............................. 97 Best Place to Read the 2006 City Paper Holiday Guide .......................... 97 Best Restaurant For Vegetarians .............. 97

September 17, 2008

Best Vegan Restaurant .............................. 97 Best Crab Cake ............................................ 97 Best Crab House .......................................... 97 Best Raw Bar .............................................. 101 Best Diner .................................................. 101 Best Breakfast............................................ 101 Best Brunch................................................ 101 Best Bagels ................................................ 103 Best Coffee Shop ........................................ 103 Best Cup of Coffee .................................... 103 Best Sweet Tea .......................................... 103 Best Bakery ................................................ 105 Best Cake .................................................... 105 Best Marshmallow Doughnut ................ 105 Best Pie ...................................................... 106 Best Vegan Baked Goods.......................... 106 Best Sno-Ball ............................................ 106 Best Dessert .............................................. 109 Best Reason Not to Have a State Dessert.............................................. 109 Best Hamburger........................................ 109 Best Hot Dog .............................................. 109 Best Fries.................................................... 109 Best Pizza .................................................. 109 Best Pizza Slice .......................................... 109 Best Place to Get a Sandwich .................. 109 Best Fried Oyster Po’ Boy .......................... 111 Best Falafel ................................................ 111 Best Pit Beef ................................................ 111 Best Barbecue ............................................ 113 Best Fried Chicken .................................... 113 Best Chicken Wings .................................. 113 Best Lake Trout .......................................... 113 Best Soul Food ............................................ 113 Best Soups .................................................. 113 Best Tapas/Small Plates............................ 113 Best Homemade Meats ............................ 113 Best Sausage .............................................. 116 Best Pierogis .............................................. 116 Best Caribbean Restaurant ...................... 116 Best Chinese Restaurant .......................... 116 Best Ethiopian Restaurant ...................... 116 Best Greek Restaurant .............................. 116 Best Indian Restaurant ............................ 116 Best Italian Restaurant ............................ 116 Best Cheap Italian Restaurant ................ 116 Best Best Italian Deli ................................ 116 Best Korean Restaurant............................ 116 Best Latin Restaurant .............................. 118 Best Peruvian Chicken.............................. 118 Best Mexican Restaurant ........................ 120 Best Middle Eastern Restaurant.............. 120 Best Sushi .................................................. 120 Best Thai Restaurant ................................ 120 Best Vietnamese Restaurant .................. 120

NIGHTLIFE/124 Best Music to Get Drunk To/ Action Pat by Lee Gardner Best New Bar .............................................. 125 Best Neighborhood Bar ............................ 125 Best Dive Bar .............................................. 125 Best Upscale Bar ........................................ 125 Best Place to Fake Rich ............................ 126 C I T Y

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Best First-Date Bar .................................... 126 Best Place for a Quiet Drink .................... 126 Best Pit-Stop Drink.................................... 126 Best Tourist-Friendly Bar ........................ 126 Best Irish Pub ............................................ 126 Best Sports Bar .......................................... 127 Best Hookah Bar ........................................ 127 Best Bar Pool Table.................................... 127 Best Jukebox .............................................. 128 Best Karaoke.............................................. 128 Best Hootenanny ...................................... 128 Best Gay Bar .............................................. 128 Best Lesbian Bar ........................................ 128 Best Hipster Bar ........................................ 130 Best Drunken Hookup Bar ...................... 130 Best Inevitable After-Hours Spot ............ 130 Best New Bar Smell .................................. 130 Best Bar for Smoking Outside .................. 131 Best Bar for Smoking Inside .................... 131 Best Thing Everyone Says About Every Bar ...................................... 131 Best Bar That John Waters Goes To ..........131 Best Bartender(s) ...................................... 131 Best Happy Hour ...................................... 134 Best Happy Hour Special.......................... 134 Best Cheap Drinks .................................... 137 Best Opportunity for Free Whiskey ........ 137 Best Beer Selection .................................... 137 Best Local Draft Beer ................................ 137 Best Blueberry Beer .................................. 137 Best Local Bottled Beer.............................. 137 Best Cocktail Menu .................................. 139 Best Cocktail .............................................. 139 Best Martini .............................................. 143 Best Margarita .......................................... 143 Best Specialty Drink ................................ 143 Best Dance Club ........................................ 143 Best Dance Night ...................................... 145 Best Club for Sale ...................................... 145 Best DJ at a Club ........................................ 145 Best Strip Joint .......................................... 145

ARTS/150 Best Scene/Baltimore’s Underground Arts and Music Scene by Bret McCabe Best Band .................................................... 151 Best New Band .......................................... 151 Best Live Band ............................................ 151 Best Upgrade .............................................. 153 Best Band Web Site .................................... 153 Best Song .................................................... 153 Best Summer Jam ...................................... 155 Best Local Album ...................................... 155 Best Label.................................................... 155 Best Solo Artist .......................................... 155 Best Female MC.......................................... 155 Best Male MC.............................................. 155 Best Hip-Hop DJ ........................................ 155 Best Beatmaker ........................................ 158 Best Club Music DJ .................................... 158 Best Club Music Producer ........................ 158 Best Music Promoter ................................ 158 Best Rock Club .......................................... 158 Best All-Ages Space to See Bands ............ 160

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Best Evacuation ........................................160 Best Place to Hear Hip-Hop .................... 160 Best Jazz Club ............................................ 163 Best Local Music Blog .............................. 163 Best Radio Show for Local Music ............ 163 Best Excuse to Stay Home ........................ 163 Best Music Festival .................................. 163 Best Actor .................................................. 163 Best Actress ................................................ 163 Best Performer to Watch Out For ............ 163 Best Costume Designer ............................ 164 Best Director.............................................. 164 Best Production ........................................ 164 Best Short Play .......................................... 164 Best Theater Company ............................ 164 Best New Theater...................................... 166 Best Dance Company................................ 166 Best Movie Theater, City.......................... 166 Best Movie Theater, Suburbs .................. 166 Best Movie Theater, County.................... 166 Best Local Movie ...................................... 166 Best Film Series ........................................ 166 Best Film Trend ........................................ 166 Best Art Museum ...................................... 168 Best Museum Takeover .......................... 168 Best Art Gallery ........................................ 168 Best Gallery Trend.................................... 168 Best Place to Buy Art ................................ 168 Best Community Arts Center .................. 168 Best Little Show ........................................ 168 Best Solo Show .......................................... 168 Best Visual Artist ...................................... 168 Best Local Art Web Site ............................ 168 Best Public Art .......................................... 168 Best Mural .................................................. 171 Best Graffiti ................................................ 171 Best Nonscandals ...................................... 171 Best Please Don’t Fuck This Up ................ 171 Best New Book by a Local Author ............ 172 Best Book About Baltimore ...................... 172 Best Comic Book ........................................ 172 Best Web Comic ........................................ 172

COLUMNS & DEPARTMENTS The Mail .......................................................... 7 Highlights .................................................. 176 The Short List by Michael Byrne .............. 179 Whose Responible? by John Ellsberry .... 194 Movie Thing .............................................. 206 The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams .......... 210 Savage Love by Dan Savage ...................... 211 Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny ........ 212 Puzzle Page.................................................. 243

COMICS This Modern World by Tom Tomorrow ...... 7 Dirt Farm by Ben Claassen III .................. 207 Maakies by Tony Millionaire .................. 207 The Pain—When Will It End? by Tim Kreider............................................ 207 Important Comics by Dina Kelberman .. 243 Lulu Eightball by Emily Flake .................. 249

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EDITOR: Lee Gardner ART DIRECTOR: Joe MacBirthday MANAGING EDITOR: Erin Sullivan ARTS EDITOR: Bret McCabe MUSIC EDITOR: Michael Byrne ONLINE EDITOR: Tim Hill SPECIAL PROJECTS EDITOR: Anna Ditkoff SENIOR STAFF WRITER: Van Smith STAFF WRITERS: Jeffrey Anderson, Edward Ericson Jr., Chris Landers CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: John Barry, Tom Chalkley, Charles Cohen, Raymond Cummings, Violet Glaze, Michelle Gienow, Cole Haddon, Eric Allen Hatch, Geoffrey Himes, Henry Hong, Martin L. Johnson, Laura Laing, Deborah McLeod, Brian Morton, Al Shipley, Vincent Williams, Mary K. Zajac CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS AND ILLUSTRATORS: Okan Arabacioglu, Emily C-D, Tom Chalkley, Ben Cricchi, Jennifer Daniel, John Ellsberry, Alex Fine, Emily Flake, Michelle Gienow, Mel Guapo, Sam Holden, Frank Klein, Daniel Krall, Hawk Krall, Uli Loskot, Christopher Myers, Michael Northrup, Carly Ptak, RaRah, Paige Shuttleworth, Deanna Staffo, Smell of Steve Inc., Jefferson Jackson Steele, M. Wartella, Autumn Whitehurst BALTIMORE WEEKLY EDITOR: Wendy Ward COPY EDITOR: Christopher Skokna WEB DEVELOPER: Christian Coulon ASSISTANT TO THE ART DIRECTOR: Wynter Towns RESEARCH ASSISTANTS: Cindy Chen, Lianna KissingerVirizlay, Stephanie Thornton INTERNS: Aleka Farha, Justin Jones, Mindy Mora, Amanda Schmidt, Alex Walsh, Chris Worthington PRODUCTION DIRECTOR: Athena Towery (x211) SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Matt Walter CLASSIFIED PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR: Donald Ely GRAPHIC DESIGNERS: Frank Hamilton, Jenna Wasakoski PRODUCTION ASSISTANT: Daria Johnson ADVERTISING DIRECTOR: Jennifer Marsh (x221) SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: Andy Grimshaw (x222), Chris Ziolkowski (x219) ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Ali Finelli (x214), Valerie Gatzke (x253), Nina Land (x220), Dylan Smith (x226) RETAIL TELEMARKETER: Betsy Wilson (x215) CLASSIFIED MANAGER: Leslie Grim (x246) REAL ESTATE ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: Ashira Jensen (x248) AUTOMOTIVE ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: Bettina Wachter (x244) CLASSIFIED DISPLAY REPRESENTATIVES: Joy Carter (x245), Joy Sushinsky (x247) CLASSIFIED LINE SUPERVISOR: Nicole Urbain (x212) CLASSIFIED LINE REPRESENTATIVE: Stephanie Gioia-Ely (x213), Emily Robinson (x209) ADVERTISING ASSISTANT: Linda Bernstein (x216) CLASSIFIED SALES ASSISTANT: Rob Farley (x208) PROMOTIONS COORDINATOR: John Morrow (x252) SYSTEM SUPPORT: Daniel Merrill CIRCULATION DIRECTOR: Christine Grabowski CIRCULATION MAINTENANCE: Mike Grabowski DISTRIBUTION: Keith Bondurant, Kelly Carr, Evan Ebb, Lloyd Farrow, Harold Goldman, Mike Grabowski, Jean LeBlanc, Abe Mamot, Bonnie Mullens, Miroslav Muzyka, Michael Nelson, Marek Obrebski, Hector Rivera, Mark Scudder, Marek Seder, George Svezzese, James Tighe BUSINESS MANAGER: Nicole Seabrease RECEPTIONIST: Michelle Bollino NATIONAL ADVERTISING: The Ruxton Group (888) 278-9866 GROUP PUBLISHER: Don Farley (x229) GENERAL SALES MANAGER: Jennifer Marsh (x221) PUBLISHER’S ASSISTANT: Susan Slike (x224) AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATIONS MEMBER

Volume 32, Number 38 September 17, 2008 City Paper is published every week by times-shamrock communications. Letters and calendar submissions are welcomed; please see these sections for details. Unsolicited editorial submissions will not be returned. Subscriptions available for $150 per year, 1st class. No refunds. ©2008 by C.E.G.W./TimesShamrock. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the editor.

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THE MAIL FLUFF BENEFITS AND CONTRARY LOGIC In his column, “Palin Politics” (Political Animal, Sept. 10), Brian Morton observes an obvious trend in post-convention media coverage: “. . . when it comes to politics, the modern popular media often lacks the resources (or the desire) to make the effort to cover issues, which leads to headlines during this time of year to focus on two things: fluff and horse races.” Further, Morton suggests the GOP would stand small in an issue-rich media environment. On both these points, I disagree. Though I savor Mr. Morton’s gift for political soap-boxing, I believe he wrongly shades past into present. First, the “modern popular media” has been reshaped since the introduction of blogging. With a national readership, the left-hitting, YouTube-fueled blogosphere injects the popular media with a healthy dose of issue-tapping opinions. True, fluff lines are media meat during fall campaigns. But they are important in-terms of vetting. When the Rev. Wright story broke in April, Barack Obama gave a series of topical speeches meant to pull attention from a potentially campaign-ending controversy. Without a gutter-prone media to keep him on his toes, the freshman senator would lack the media experience needed to defend himself in a general election. Now time for electoral issues, aka the economy. Elections reside in the hands of working Americans. In truth, if working Americans focused on what will impact them most immediately—job growth—

Democrats would face a tough road. Unemployment has risen at a steady clip over the past eight months, with approximately 605,000 jobs lost. Despite all this, the economy, in terms of production, is growing, and has been since the 2001 recession. In other words, companies are cutting jobs, even though profits are up. So where does that leave Democrats? Obama wants to hold corporations more accountable by increasing the federal corporate tax rate. Question: If jobs are being cut when money is up, what will happen when money is down? Answer: further cuts in jobs, salaries, and benefits. John McCain, on the other hand, plans to lower the federal corporate tax rate, from 35 percent to 25. While this doesn’t guarantee job creation, it avoids worsening an already tight job market. Obama promotes nationwide healthcare entitlement, and what is basically a multi-billion dollar federal bailout of the automotive industry. Granting workers coverage and returning them to their posts is great. Who pays for it all? Corporations? No, you do. MATTHEW GENTRY BALTIMORE

HE TYPES CRAP (BUT IN A GOOD WAY) I’ve just finished reading “Always the Best” (Mr. Wrong, Sept. 3) by Joe MacLeod. It was a choice I had to make, and I did. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what to make of Joe MacLeod’s writings. He seems to be saying a hundred things all at the same time. His writing confuses me, because I cannot personally get connected to

THIS MODERN WORLD

BY TOM TOMORROW

what he wants me to know about what he is saying in his writings, which he says with spirited entanglements. To me, most of Joe MacLeod’s writings do not make immediate sense when you first read a sentence. The strange thing is that I keep reading his columns every other week. Several columns ago, Joe MacLeod told us that someone had destroyed parts of his car. Who would Joe MacLeod have as an enemy? I have wondered if Joe has purchased another car, or how he is getting about Baltimore at all. At least his mind is driving forward with hazardous “fucking expressions” that bring a pause to a sentence with a leeching moment. As an avid reader of City Paper, I know that Joe MacLeod is one of the “Best Journalists” at the paper. The last line of Philip Larkin’s poem “A Study of Reading Habits” reads “Get Stewed: Books are a load of crap.” Sometimes I read Joe MacLeod’s columns, and I do think they are crap, but his writings let me escape to laughter, which is my way of flattering Joe MacLeod’s mind. Joe, keep writing your crap. Alarm your readers with your foul “fucking expression” moments that reveal the passion of your wildest thoughts. You write good. Be yourself. Do not let your readers define you. You scare us with your oddity. We wish we could be the same. LARNELL CUSTIS BUTLER WOODLAWN

Correction: Due to an editing error, a quote was wrongly attributed in “The Company You Keep,” the Mobtown Beat story on filmmaker Lavern Whitt and her ties to City Hall (Sept. 10). Publicist Sharon Page, not Whitt, said “It’s a major story,” in reference to the potential for success of Whitt’s media projects. Address letters to The Mail, City Paper, 812 Park Ave., Baltimore, MD 21201; fax: (410) 523-0138; e-mail: letters@citypaper. com. Only letters that address material published in or policies of CP, are no more than 500 words long, and include the writer’s name, address, and daytime phone number will be considered for publication. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

★★★

REPLY WITH SLACK ATTN: BOB

812 PARK AVENUE BALTIMORE MD 21201

September 17, 2008

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THE MORE THINGS CHANGE . . .

City Paper’s 2008 Best of Baltimore

HE LAST 12 MONTHS HAVE BEEN PRETTY GOOD FOR BALTIMORE. Murders are down, the city is becoming known for things besides heroin and syphilis, the shopping and restaurant options seem to be growing exponentially, and, hell, even the Orioles didn’t suck as much as usual. And you, kind readers, seem pretty excited about all this, at least judging by the record number of Readers Poll ballots we received. And we’re not even including the ballot stuffers—you know who you are. After looking over the scads of ballots, we’ve learned a lot about what you like and don’t like about the city. You’re loyal—Falkenhan’s Hardware’s winning streak is a testament to that. We found out that you can be quite conflicted—Mayor Sheila Dixon won five categories, including Best Politician (Job Performance) and Best Politician in Need of a Slap Upside the Head, and crime is both the Best Reason to Leave Here and the Local Issue We’re Sick Of. We also found that, even with rising costs, you think Baltimore is a relatively cheap place to live. And we couldn’t help noticing some new contenders for top spots, whether it was Red Tree almost but not quite nudging out Su Casa for Best Local Furniture Store, or some new answers to Best Reason to Live Here.“Because people will think you’re tough,” cocked our eyebrows, but we were excited to see so many people giving shout- outs to our arts and culture scene and pointing to the city’s potential as a reason to call it home. Of course, we didn’t just get your opinions. We also weighed in with a few—or a couple hundred—of our own, naming our favorite places to drink and eat, shop and explore. We let you know what we watch and listen to. And in the end, we’re just like you. We’re loyal—why, hello, again Andy Nelson’s Barbecue—but we’re also trying new things: Nice to meet you, Woodberry Kitchen, Clementine, and Baltimore Pho. And we have conflicted feelings about the mayor, and we’re excited about the art and music being produced in this city. Still, there are some things that frustrate us or make us downright angry—see just about the whole News & Media section. Speaking of which, in the interest of keeping with the theme of embracing the new without losing the old, we’ve switched up the Best of Baltimore issue, adding two new categories, the aforementioned News & Media and Nightlife. We think they’re going to fit right in here because if there are two things Baltimoreans like to do, it’s drink and bitch about what’s going on in the city. It’s just for this Best Of we’ll be toasting to a bit less to complain about than usual.

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City Paper’s 2008 Best of Baltimore issue was written by Rebecca Alvania, Jeffrey Anderson, Raven Baker, John Barry, Shelly BlakePlock, Christina Bumba, Michael Byrne, Charles Cohen, Anna Ditkoff, Edward Ericson Jr., R. Darryl Foxworth, Lee Gardner, Michelle Gienow, Violet Glaze, Jess Harvell, Katherine Hill, Tim Hill, Geoffrey Himes, Anny Hoge, Henry Hong, Anne Howard, Jaye Hunnie, Martin L. Johnson, Heather Joslyn, Daniel Krall, Chris Landers, Joe MacLeod, Amanda Magnus, Bret McCabe, David Morley, Audrey Murray, Christopher Myers, Tamara Neff, Kate Noonan, Molly O’Donnell, Summer Patton, Ruth Reader, Al Shipley, Christopher Skokna, Van Smith, Erin Sullivan, Joe Tropea, Wendy Ward, Josephine Yun, Claire Zachik, and Mary K. Zajac. Research assistants Cindy Chen, Lianna Kissinger-Virizlay, and Stephanie Thornton checked the facts and wrangled the Readers Poll along with interns Aleka Farha, Justin Jones, Mindy Mora, Amanda Schmidt, Alex Walsh, and Chris Worthington. Cover graven image of BOB is ®™&© the SubGenius Foundation. PRABOB. Illustration and photography by Joeff Davis, John Ellsberry, Alex Fine, Frank Hamilton, Jess Harvell, Tim Hill, Sam Holden, Frank Klein, Uli Loskot, Christopher Myers, Michael Northrup, Rarah, Jefferson Jackson Steele, and the City Paper Digi-Cam™.

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ONE OF ONLY A FEW MUSEUMS WORLDWIDE to present a comprehensive history of art from the third millennium B.C. to

the early 20th century, the Walters is internationally known for its collection. General admission is always FREE!

600 N. Charles St. ~ 410-547-9000 ~ www.thewalters.org

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Coming Soon!

5,000 Years of Jewelry | October 19–January 4 C I T Y P A P E R B E S T O F B A LT I M O R E 2 0 0 8

Bedazzled

BEDAZZLED TICKETS: Ticketmaster.com, 800-551-SEAT or the Walters Box Office, 410-547-9000, ext. 265.

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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

Readers

Baltimore Living

Goods & Services

Best Reason to Live Here: It’s affordable Best Reason to Leave Here: Crime Best Neighborhood: Hampden Best Area You’d Like to See Revitalized: The area around Patterson Park Best City Service: Single-Stream Recycling Best Bus Line: No. 3 Best Farmers Market: Baltimore Farmers’ Market (under the JFX) Best Landmark: Washington Monument Best Eyesore: “Male/Female” by Jonathan Borofsky Best Festival: Fells Point Fun Festival Best Park: Patterson Park Best Hiking or Biking Trail: Northern Central Railroad Trail Best Place to Swim: Prettyboy Reservoir (note: swimming in city reservoirs is illegal) Best Place to Bowl: Patterson Bowling Center, 2105 Eastern Ave., (410) 675-1011 Best Place to Take Visitors: Inner Harbor Best Place to Take Kids: National Aquarium in Baltimore, 501 E. Pratt St., (410) 576-3800 Best Non-Art Museum: Baltimore Museum of Industry, 1415 Key Highway, (410) 727-4808 Best Day Trip From Baltimore: Washington, D.C. Best Oriole: Nick Markakis Best Raven: Ray Lewis

Best Local Clothing Boutique: Doubledutch Boutique, 3616 Falls Road, (410) 554-0055 Best Local Children’s Clothing Store: Corduroy Button, 1628 Thames St., (410) 276-5437 Best Shoe Store: Ma Petite Shoe, 832 W. 36th St., (410) 235-3442 Best Thrift Store or Consignment Store: Fashion Attic, 1926 Fleet St., (410) 276-0817 Best Eco-Friendly Business: Bluehouse, 1407 Fleet St., (410) 276-1180 Best Local Furniture Store: Su Casa, 901 S. Bond St., (410) 522-7010 Best Local Hardware Store: Falkenhan’s Hardware, 3401 Chestnut Ave., (410) 235-7771 Best “Adult” Store: Sugar, 927 W. 36th St., (410) 467-2632 Best Independent Bookstore: Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, (410) 662-4444 Best Used-Book Store: Normals, 425 E. 31st St., (410) 243-6888 Best CD Store: The Sound Garden, 1616 Thames St., (410) 563-9011 Best Place to Buy Vinyl: The Sound Garden Best Place to Rent Movies: Video Americain, 400 W. Cold Spring Lane, (410) 243-2231; 3100 St. Paul St., (410) 889-5266 Best Place to Buy Groceries: Whole Foods, 1001 Fleet St., (410) 528-1640; 1330 Smith Ave., (410) 532-6700 Best Liquor Store: The Wine Source, 3601 Elm Ave., (410) 467-7777 Best Auto-Repair Shop: Comprehensive Car Care, 923 Cathedral Street, (410) 539-1068 Best Tattoo Parlor: Baltimore Tattoo Museum, 1534 Eastern Ave., (410) 522-5800 Best Place to Get a Haircut: Sprout, 925 W. 36th St., (410) 235-2269 Best Place to Work Out: Charm City Yoga, 107 E. Preston St., (410) 234- 8967; 901 Fell St., (410) 276-9642 Best Animal Hospital/Veterinarian: Falls Road Animal Hospital, 6314 Falls Road, (410) 825-9100

News & Media

Dining

Best Politician (Likability): Gov. Martin O’Malley Best Politician (Job Performance): Mayor Sheila Dixon Best Politician in Need of a Slap Upside the Head: Mayor Sheila Dixon Best Do-Gooder: Anna Sowers Best Troublemaker: Mayor Sheila Dixon Best Local Scandal: The Sheila Dixon/Ronald Lipscomb affair Best Use of Taxpayer Funds: Improving Baltimore City Public Schools Best Misuse of Taxpayer Funds: Mayor Sheila Dixon Best Print Journalist: Dan Rodricks, The Baltimore Sun Best Local Issue We’re Sick Of: Crime Best Local Publication (Besides City Paper): Urbanite Best Local Blog: BaltimoreCrime.blogspot.com Best Baltimore-Related Web Site: CityPaper.com Best Local YouTube Clip: Cop vs. Skateboarder Best Local Radio Personality: Ed Norris, WHFS (105.7 FM) Best Local TV Newsperson: Stan Stovall, WBAL (channel 11) Best Local Sportscaster: Mark Viviano, WJZ (channel 13); ESPN Radio (1300 AM)

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Best New Restaurant: Woodberry Kitchen, 2010 Clipper Park Road, (410) 464-8000 Best Fancy Restaurant: Charleston, 1000 Lancaster St., (410) 332-7373 Best Cheap Restaurant: Holy Frijoles!, 908 W. 36th St., (410) 235-2326 Best Restaurant for Vegetarians: One World Café, 100 W. University Parkway, (410) 235-5777 Best Outdoor Dining: Ambassador Dining Room, 3811 Canterbury Road, (410) 366-1484 Best Late-Night Dining: PaperMoon Diner, 227 W. 29th St., (410) 889-4444 Best Cup of Coffee: Daily Grind, numerous locations Best Brunch: Miss Shirley’s Café, 513 W. Cold Spring Lane, (410) 889-5272 Best Place to Get Ice Cream: Cold Stone Creamery, 3201 St. Paul St., (410) 889-0488; 2500 Boston St., (410) 522-0353 Best Place to Get a Sandwich: Attman’s Delicatessen, 1019 E. Lombard St., (410) 563-2666 Best Pizza: Matthew’s Pizza, 3131 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-8755 Best Crab House: Mr. Bill’s Terrace Inn, 200 Eastern Blvd., Essex, (410) 687-5994 Best Crab Cake: G&M Restaurant, 804 Hammonds Ferry Road, Linthicum Heights, (410) 636-1777 Best Greek: Samos, 600 Oldham St., (410) 675-5292 Best Indian: Ambassador Dining Room Best Italian: Amicci’s, 231 S. High St., (410) 528-1096 Best Japanese: Matsuri, 1105 S. Charles St., (410) 752-8561 Best Latin: Arcos, 129 S. Broadway, (410) 522-4777 Best Middle Eastern: The Helmand, 806 N. Charles St., (410) 752-0311 Best Thai: Thai Arroy, 1019 Light St., (410) 385-8587

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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

Nightlife Best Local Beer: Resurrection, Brewer’s Art, 1106 N. Charles St., (410) 547-6925 Best Cheap Drinks: The Dizz (formerly Dizzy Issie’s) , 300 W. 30th St. Best Happy Hour: Bay Café, 2809 Boston St., (410) 522-3377 Best Neighborhood Bar: The Dizz Best Dive Bar: Mount Royal Tavern, 1204 W. Mount Royal Ave., (410) 669-6686 Best Upscale Bar: Pazo, 1425 Aliceanna St., (410) 534-7296 Best Drunken Hookup Bar: MaGerks Pub, 1061 S. Charles St., (410) 576-9230 Best Sports Bar: ESPN Zone, 601 E. Pratt St., (410) 685-3776 Best Hipster Bar: Rocket to Venus, 3360 Chestnut Ave., (410) 235-7887 Best Bar for Smokers: Havana Club, 600 Water St., (410) 468-0022 Best Gay Bar: The Hippo, 1 W. Eager St., (410) 547-0069 Best Lesbian Bar: Sappho’s, 1001/1003 N. Charles St., (410) 752- 7133 Best Karaoke: Nevin’s Cross Street Station, 31-33 E. Cross St., (410) 468-4078 Best Jukebox: Club Charles, 1724 N. Charles St., (410) 727-8815 Best Bartender: Adam Thomas, Dionysus, 8 E. Preston St. (410) 244-1020 Best Strip Joint: Scores, 615 Fallsway, (410) 528-1117 Best Dance Club: Sonar, 407 E. Saratoga St., (410) 783-7888 Best Club DJ: K-Swift Best Club Night or Event: My Crew Be Unruly (Paradox)

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Best Band: Fools and Horses Best Solo Music Artist: Dan Deacon Best Rock Club: The Ottobar, 2549 N. Howard St., (410) 662-0069 Best Place to Hear Hip-Hop: Sonar Best Underground Music Venue: Floristree Best All-Ages Venue to See Bands: Pier Six Pavilion, 731 Eastern Ave., (410) 547- 7328 Best Local Music Festival: Whartscape Best Local Music Blog: AuralStates.com Best Local Internet Radio for Music: WTMD.org Best Radio Station for Music: WTMD (89.7 FM) Best Movie Theater: Charles Theatre, 1711, N. Charles St., (410) 727-3456 Best Movie Festival/Series: Maryland Film Festival Best Local Theater Company: Center Stage, 700 N. Calvert St., (410) 332-0033 Best Dance Company: The Collective, 3618 Falls Road, Suite 200, (443) 257-3844 Best Drag Performer: Justin Credible Best Multiuse Arts Space: Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651 Best Place to See Art: Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (410) 396-7100 Best Visual Artist: Brady Starr Best New Book by a Local Author: Another Thing to Fall, by Laura Lippman

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Miscellaneous Best Reason to Pick Up City Paper: To know what’s going on in the city Best Reason Not to Pick Up City Paper: The advertisements Best Reason We Should Invite You to the Best of Baltimore Party: 2 words—fat chick, we never get invited anywhere.

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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

Nightlife Best Local Beer: Resurrection, Brewer’s Art, 1106 N. Charles St., (410) 547-6925 Best Cheap Drinks: The Dizz (formerly Dizzy Issie’s) , 300 W. 30th St. Best Happy Hour: Bay Café, 2809 Boston St., (410) 522-3377 Best Neighborhood Bar: The Dizz Best Dive Bar: Mount Royal Tavern, 1204 W. Mount Royal Ave., (410) 669-6686 Best Upscale Bar: Pazo, 1425 Aliceanna St., (410) 534-7296 Best Drunken Hookup Bar: MaGerks Pub, 1061 S. Charles St., (410) 576-9230 Best Sports Bar: ESPN Zone, 601 E. Pratt St., (410) 685-3776 Best Hipster Bar: Rocket to Venus, 3360 Chestnut Ave., (410) 235-7887 Best Bar for Smokers: Havana Club, 600 Water St., (410) 468-0022 Best Gay Bar: The Hippo, 1 W. Eager St., (410) 547-0069 Best Lesbian Bar: Sappho’s, 1001/1003 N. Charles St., (410) 752- 7133 Best Karaoke: Nevin’s Cross Street Station, 31-33 E. Cross St., (410) 468-4078 Best Jukebox: Club Charles, 1724 N. Charles St., (410) 727-8815 Best Bartender: Adam Thomas, Dionysus, 8 E. Preston St. (410) 244-1020 Best Strip Joint: Scores, 615 Fallsway, (410) 528-1117 Best Dance Club: Sonar, 407 E. Saratoga St., (410) 783-7888 Best Club DJ: K-Swift Best Club Night or Event: My Crew Be Unruly (Paradox)

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Arts

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Best Band: Fools and Horses Best Solo Music Artist: Dan Deacon Best Rock Club: The Ottobar, 2549 N. Howard St., (410) 662-0069 Best Place to Hear Hip-Hop: Sonar Best Underground Music Venue: Floristree Best All-Ages Venue to See Bands: Pier Six Pavilion, 731 Eastern Ave., (410) 547- 7328 Best Local Music Festival: Whartscape Best Local Music Blog: AuralStates.com Best Local Internet Radio for Music: WTMD.org Best Radio Station for Music: WTMD (89.7 FM) Best Movie Theater: Charles Theatre, 1711, N. Charles St., (410) 727-3456 Best Movie Festival/Series: Maryland Film Festival Best Local Theater Company: Center Stage, 700 N. Calvert St., (410) 332-0033 Best Dance Company: The Collective, 3618 Falls Road, Suite 200, (443) 257-3844 Best Drag Performer: Justin Credible Best Multiuse Arts Space: Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651 Best Place to See Art: Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (410) 396-7100 Best Visual Artist: Brady Starr Best New Book by a Local Author: Another Thing to Fall, by Laura Lippman

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Miscellaneous Best Reason to Pick Up City Paper: To know what’s going on in the city Best Reason Not to Pick Up City Paper: The advertisements Best Reason We Should Invite You to the Best of Baltimore Party: 2 words—fat chick, we never get invited anywhere.

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In 1966 we threw a party to celebrate city living...

Sunday, October 5th, watch the game at our

JUMBO SCREEN Tailgate Party

Five Stages of Entertainment 3 Beer Gardens Arts & Crafts Fantastic Art Cars Fine Art & Photography Historic Ships Carnival Rides La Plaza Hispana International Bazaar Classic Car Show

October 4-5, 2008 A WEEKEND OF MUSIC,

FUN & FESTIVITIES

September 17, 2008

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Urban Pirate Ship Carnival of Wonders Puppets, Magic, Juggling & more www.preservationsociety.com 410-675-6756

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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

Baltimore

Living BEST COMMUNITY TRANSPORTATION PROJECT Velocipede is so much more than a bike shop

So,a bike shop in the conventional sense would be a place where you go in and buy stuff or someone takes your bike in back and fixes it. For money. Velocipede functions instead on the collective model. Money is rarely traded hands. “We strive to sell as few of the bikes we get as possible, maybe 10 percent,” Tim Barnett explains, perched in a circle with a handful of other Velocipede collective members at its space just off Charles Street in Station North.Occasionally, the nonshop will sell a reconditioned bike to pay bills,but buying something here defeats the purpose. Part of Velocipede’s “mission statement is teaching people how to do it [themselves],” adds Gabby, another collective member, who declines to give her last name. Walking into the nonshop for the first time is, well, disorienting. On a full night it looks like a cross between what you’d see in the repair area of a traditional bike shop—aproned workers huddled intently around bikes in various

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states of assembly and racks of bike-specific black tools— and a bicycle chop shop, e.g., lots of other people carefully deconstructing (donated bikes) and sorting the parts into marked drawers and bins. If, say, you walked into Velocipede on one of its two public nights (only Wednesday and Thursday, from 6 through 10 P.M., unfortunately) with a broken bicycle hoping for a fix, you’d be confronted with an unusual proposition. No, nobody is going to fix it for you for dollars, but they will show you how to fix it yourself in exchange for volunteer hours (or, sometimes, a “tool fee”). “Some people who you wouldn’t expect stay,”Beth Wacks, one of the collective’s founding members and de facto leader, says. “They look pretty confused, but they put up with it. Some people stay and are grumpy the whole time.” “When people understand their bikes, they will be on the road,”Barnett declares. “I’ve heard of people before I worked here, they’d get a flat tire and the

bike would just sit in the garage or locked outside the apartment. Teaching people simple ways to fix these things keeps bikes on the road,and that’s what we’re after.” Velocipede’s bike collec-

pairs, or make more complicated repairs,and be able to afford that. A community space. ”I think it’s really empowering to know how to fix stuff,”she adds.“It gives people ownership of their

“We’re seeing a lot more people because of gas prices.” tive is a simple idea. Before Velocipede, “I worked at a bike shop and I’d see a lot of people coming in that would buy a bike from a thrift store and it would need some work, nothing undoable, but for us to do it at a bike shop—it would be a couple hundred dollars to,like,repack the bearings,” Wacks recalls. “The idea was to make a place where people could learn about bikes, do simple re-

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lives. There aren’t a lot of things in this world that we personally can fix.” Business at Velocipede is booming right now, and the collective is finding itself in the situation of demand outreaching supply. “We’re seeing a lot more people because of gas prices,” collective member Boson Au says. (Like about “50 percent” of the collective,Au knew next to nothing about bikes before

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joining as a volunteer and later as a collective member.) “Before, maybe someone would just bring in their old bike to donate— now they want to fix it up.” “We need more bikes right now,”Wacks says.But,even more than that, the collective needs members. It’s easy enough to get folks in at sort of the “base level,” as volunteers. As in, they put in their volunteer hours (three minimum), and after putting enough time in to trade for parts,they build up their own bike and leave. Whereas collective members stay at the shop and become the teachers. “We want it to be easy for people to get involved in the collective—anybody can be involved in the volunteer process, but we also want to be able to grow, and right now that’s one of the main places that we need to grow,” Barnett explains.“Not in the number of people that are coming in because they need a bike, but the number of people coming in because they really want to be a part of this project, that want to help the community.”

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O DISPEL A COMMON MISCONCEPTION: VELOCIPEDE ISN’T A BIKE SHOP. It has tools, parts, work benches, and a great many grease-black hands, but it’s not the sort of place where you walk in with a credit card and a squeaky chain and walk out with a yellow work order. No, you’re much more likely to walk out with your own set of greasy hands and, a few hours later, a repaired bike.

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BY MICHAEL BYRNE

BEST COMMUNITY TRANSPORTATION PROJECT: VELOCIPEDE

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BALTIMORE LIVING

BEST REASON TO LIVE HERE THE ETERNAL RETURN local barstool truism that you probably never want to hear again: Anyone with the temerity to leave Baltimore invariably finds his or her way back. You may find the idea of Baltimore as an inescapable black hole a little stifling; it certainly makes it easier to paint the city as a place where people wash up again with tails tucked after their ambition runs out. But you can also look at the eternal return as a sign that, despite being a frontier space for urban blight, Charm City remains a peculiarly hospitable place, one where it’s easy to quickly put down the kind of roots that can survive extended periods away. The fact that the decision to move away becomes more difficult the longer you stay here is one of the better signs that Baltimore’s economic/cultural/communal pros really do outweigh its well-advertised cons. And if lifers and transplants that make the jump so often choose to return, surely it shows these prodigals knew where “home” was all along, that Baltimore instills a sense of community even in self-professed nomads.True,if you come back, you will have to suffer a few months of bemused acquaintances asking “didn’t you move?”and cockeyed looks from suspicious permanent residents. But hell, if you’ve lived in Baltimore, you’ve lived through worse than that.

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BEST REASON TO LEAVE HERE IT’S A PAY TO PLAY CITY altimore is a pay-to-play city,” convicted drug trafficker Fred Brooks told City Paper in January. He was explaining how his now-defunct Club Indigo, a Greene Street nightclub in the mid-1990s, ran unmolested by authorities. It’s a catchy phrase, but it also has a ring of truth to it. Developers, for instance, don’t claim publicly that gaining elected officials’ ears costs money, but in private some do,admitting that they’d rather not contribute to all of the campaigns they give to. Mayor Sheila Dixon’s gifts from her ex-boyfriend, devel-

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BALTIMORE LIVING oper Ronald Lipscomb, may be nothing more than lovers’ tokens, but if so, then it’s friendship that really pays in Baltimore. Take Club Choices, for instance, on Charles Street in Station North, which is currently for sale for $20 million. When its owner, Anthony Triplin, threw his son a graduation party, it ended up on Dixon’s official desk calendar. Those kinds of connections are priceless. But what happens if you don’t have or aren’t willing to pay what it costs to do business here? The last 40 years of corporate flight from Baltimore might answer that question.

an effect aided by the 19th-century buildings that still stand amid the trees. Homes there tend to sell infrequently, and some of them are choice examples of park-side living,though every resident has easy access to the bike trails and walking paths of the Gwynns Falls valley. Commuting—a likely necessity for Franklintowners—is a snap, with the Beltway and I70 moments away.Franklintown lacks its own retail base,so shopping requires a drive, but that’s the price of living in a slice of idyll while remaining a city resident.

BEST NEW CITY MOTTO BALTIMORE:

BEST ALLEY TO STEAL A KISS LOLLIPOP LANE,

ing vines and tree branches— a perfect stage for a pinch of summer romance. Just remember, keep the PDA lighthearted and mind the neighbors.

BOLTON HILL he name alone conjures whimsical images of handholding and skipping. Lollipop Lane isn’t really a lane at all, but an alley perfect for ducking into on a warm summer’s evening for a stolen smooch. The romantic ambiance results from the lush spill of private courtyard gardens in full swing backing up to the brick and white cement alleyway. Billowy peach blossoms drape lusciously over wooden lattice forming small canopies of shade while the lone streetlight is nestled heavily in climb-

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BEST FESTIVAL ARTSCAPE ecent years have seen Artscape getting a little stale. Big musical acts, big food, the same rigmarole. Enter 2008, with an expansion that extends up Charles Street,past Penn Station almost to North Avenue, including a hefty addition of local outsider artists, oddball theater performances, lesserknown music, and impromptu

SCREWING THINGS UP A LITTLE LESS EACH YEAR K, so it’s faint praise, but it’s more accurate than The City That Reads or The Greatest City in America. The murder rate is down, and while it’s still higher than almost every other major city in the country, for us it’s a major improvement.City leaders are working together better than anytime in recent memory. There’s still plenty of possible corruption and a pesky ethics investigation, but if our top dogs aren’t publicly calling each other names, it’s a step in the right direction. Our schools are looking up. Yes, teachers get beaten and are told to keep their mouths shut about it, but hey, test scores have risen and we have someone running the public schools who seems to care deeply about righting this sinking ship. So, Baltimore, still a mess, but not as big a mess as before. We’re giving you this slogan for free—take that Get in on It—but if you want scary people dressed as Teletubby knockoffs to serve as the mascots, you’ll have to supply them yourselves.

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Patterson Park creativealliance.org here are hundreds of opportunities for the amateur and the professional photogs to get some incredible shots at this annual costume parade through Patterson Park. Flex your photojournalism muscle as costumed children and families march a winding path to the pagoda, try your hand at an abstract camera toss using the lanterns as your light source, or test your skills in portraiture, candids, or video with . . . just about anything. Thousands of people doing hundreds of things: kids picking their noses; people running,marching,singing; an active and engaging MC and the crowd.Every where you look there’s something to document, so you can’t go wrong.

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AT CHESTER AND EAST FEDERAL STREETS ome of our favorite views aren’t necessarily picturesque. That is, they’re often views of downtown from parts of town that glitter somewhat less brightly. A few blocks below where Belair Road turns into North Gay Street, you pass the scaffolded hive of activity that is the old American Brewery renovation project and emerge from a low valley of rowhouses where Chester and East Federal streets form a threeway intersection with Gay. A grassy area in the next block and the particular slope of the terrain make way for a vista of downtown Baltimore, with all its tall towers and urban promise, looming surprisingly close over the surrounding neighborhood of half-vacant blocks.

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HALLOWEEN LANTERN PARADE

BEST VIEW NORTH GAY STREET

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD FRANKLINTOWN he traditional route to Franklintown from downtown is Franklintown Road, which winds like a country lane through Leakin Park along the Gwynns Falls. Despite its urban location,Franklintown feels like the rural mill town it used to be,

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street performances and demonstrations throughout the enormous festival. There’s still tons of food shacks, but a “natural” cove,replete with the Yabba Pot and Adam Kandel’s falafel stand, was a welcome addition.

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BEST EYESORE HILTON BALTIMORE CONVENTION CENTER acked on the wall above our desk is the remainder of an Orioles schedule from several years ago. The calendar, with its preponderance of losing days, has long since been torn off, leaving a small panoramic vista of Camden Yards from a seat high above home plate. Peering at it the other day, we were reminded of antique hand-colored postcards in the way it illustrates what is no longer there. What do you see when you sit in the stadium now? A bland, blocky form that blots out the horizon of interesting shapes, Capt. Isaac Emerson’s kitschy tribute to Florence’s Palazzo Vecchio, the Bromo Seltzer Tower,is the most notable victim. The drive in from Russell Street suffers the same fate—you drive through the miserable industrial landscape of Westport to be greeted by M&T Bank Stadium, Camden Yards, then the tower. No more. Perhaps the hotel is a good use of downtown space, and all the conventioneers get a nice view of the Yards on their way back to their hotel rooms. But we lose a little bit of the environment that made Camden Yards a unique and beautiful park. Yet we remain hopeful: Sometime late in this century, when the rage is to tear down all the mashup-style buildings so popular in the aughts, the Bromo Seltzer may rise over the ballpark again.

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BEST LOCAL LANDMARK BROMO SELTZER TOWER 21 S. Eutaw St., (410) 7528632, bromoseltzer tower.com notable landmark,the Bromo Seltzer Tower has cast a blue hue into the downtown night sky for 97 years. Until recently the 15-story interior languished, but this spring saw the space transformed into modern studios for artists and writers. Each of the floors is made up of two or three airy studios of varying sizes that can be leased from the city at affordable rates.Given escalating rents, the tower’s revitalization is a good reason for the starving-artist set to stay. The Baltimore Office for Promotion and the Arts and Mayor Sheila Dixon got it right

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this time. The hard-learned lesson from previous administrations: Don’t obscure a cherished piece of architecture with a “gift” of public art. Instead, use our iconic buildings to perpetuate and support the creation of new and local art.

MUSEUM Aberdeen Proving Ground, Maryland Avenue Gate, Route 715, Aberdeen, (410) 278-3602, ordmusfound.org

BEST HAUNTED CLOCK TOWER MOUNT ROYAL STATION he Mount Royal Station was once the jewel of the B&O Railroad. It was built in 1896 and functioned as a passenger station until 1961; a few years later the Maryland Institute College of Art purchased it and converted it into classroom,studio,and exhibition space with careful consideration put into preserving its original architectural elegance.But, what else was preserved within the walls of this historic structure? If you ask around on campus,you’ll likely find a vast and differing collection of spine-tingling tales that would make any nightshift security guard think twice about wandering down its corridors all by his lonesome. Whether it’s the story of the girl in the clock tower or the Civil War-era specters who pop in from time to time, it’s enough to make certain members of MICA’s staff and some of the more superstitious students uneasy about lingering there alone after dark.

his museum has 25 acres of the best killing machines man has invented.More then 240 tanks from all over the world, pistols, rifles, and mortars, oh my! There is even a bomb—the “T12,”the largest conventional bomb ever built—at the front door to greet you. The trip is not complete until you visit the gift shop where you can purchase a few training grenades. Perfect for early Christmas shopping.

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BEST MONUMENT BILLIE HOLIDAY STATUE 1300 block of Pennsylvania Avenue he stands on the corner of Lafayette and Pennsylvania avenues,singing sweetly at what now remains of the once-thriving entertainment district where she so frequently performed. Artist James Earl Reid began his commission to create a statue of the iconic singer in 1978 to fill the void left by the city’s demolition of the Royal Theatre. But what was unveiled at the dedication in 1985 wasn’t true to Reid’s original vision. He had conceived of it as not only a memorial to Holiday, but also to the themes of sadness and racial injustice so prevalent in her music. A set of reliefs depicting her songs “Strange Fruit” and “God Bless the Child”were missing, as was a crow perched at the base of the sculpture,eating a bouquet of gardenias,representing the racism of the Jim Crow era.The statue was also meant to rest on a 5foot-6 black granite pedestal but ended up sitting on a far less ceremonious concrete slab. The censorship and lackluster presentation of the Holiday monument have re-

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BEST PLACE TO TAKE OUT OF TOWN VISITORS FORT MCHENRY 2400 E. Fort Ave., (410) 9624290, nps.gov/fomc here are a lot of reasons to love Fort McHenry, not least its versatility as a place to entertain out of town guests. History buffs will love tours of the fort led by National Park Service officers who are überknowledgeable but never dry (if you’re lucky, your tour will be led by the splendid Vince Vaise). Kids will be charmed by the Fort McHenry Guard, the group of 19thcentury uniformed re-enactors who perform everything from drills to canon firings. Outside of the historic fort area, there are acres for walking,picnicking,nature-watching (deer, foxes, and herons have all been spotted on fort grounds), and taking in views of the city you can’t see from Harborplace. There’s no charge for walking the grounds (you can also bring leashed pets). Visits to the historic fort are $7 for folks 16 and older.

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BEST EYESORE: HILTON BALTIMORE CONVENTION CENTER cently been reconsidered, and the statue is being restored with the original content. A rededication is currently in the works.

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aybe it’s because we remember when museums were dusty places crammed full of cool stuff to look at rather than sleek open spaces featuring computerized displays and modern video installations. Maybe it’s because we like old things, like general stores and canneries and garment factories, that remind us of stories our grandparents used to tell. Or maybe we just have a thing for the Industrial Revolution and how it helped shape cities like Baltimore, which was once one of the most important port cities in America. Whatever the reason, we can’t get enough of the Baltimore Museum of Industry, with its coal-fired tugboat,its model pharmacy and general store, its simulated machinery and print shops. It creaks, it seems a little dusty,it has something new to look at in every corner—it’s really the best history museum in town.

Frederick Douglass-Isaac Myers Maritime Park, 1417 Thames St., (410) 685-0295, douglassmyers.org e’re not exactly sure when it showed up—two years ago, maybe—but ever since, our regular visits to Fells Point have been greatly brightened by this largeand-in-charge head at the Frederick Douglass-Isaac Myers Maritime Park.It’s kinda modern,a bit jagged, but easily recognizable as Douglass’ likeness,perhaps the greatest head in American history. Really, who beats him? His somber, yet friendly presence on the harborfront provides a nice contrast to all the compulsive shopping and drinking going on just a block or two inland.

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BEST PLACE TO FEEL LIKE A MONK BALTIMORE BASILICA’S CRYPT 409 Cathedral St., (410) 7273565, baltimorebasilica.org enjamin Henry Latrobe may have designed America’s first neoclassical basilica, but for sure it’s the bricklayers who set to mortar the multiarched foundation and the completely mesmeriz-

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BALTIMORE LIVING ing topsy-turvy crypt who were the real artists. Like something out of an M.C. Escher drawing, the crypt’s dark passages dare contemplation. The best touch is the graffiti left by the original masons back in the early 19th century that was then replicated for a new century by bricklayers during the celebrated renovation. And, heck, patriot and first U.S. Archbishop John Carroll is even interred in the wall. Sure, the upstairs is real pretty, but for our money, the basement is where it’s at.

ic version of a serene place for information, but we’ve got to hand it to you for making your ’70s ranch-style building, with its Mondrian rectangle exterior of brick red, gray/blue, and gold, feel airy and open inside. You’ve got high ceilings and an open floor plan with a children’s room, quiet study room, and nonfiction area facing a large main space with children’s books on one end and a lounge with magazine racks in the front.You are comfortable, well staffed, and close to the Metro, and for that we bless you.

build a house or play house, or hit the seaside, just to name a few of the activities. It’s welldesigned and (so far) well-maintained and full of dashing,excited kids (but on the other side of the building from the more traditionally quiet reading tables and stacks). A library is already one of the best default rainyday activities ever,and Storyville makes Rosedale even better.

BEST POST OFFICE MONDAWMIN MALL 2401 Liberty Heights Ave., (410) 462-2751, usps.com

BEST PLACE BEST LIBRARY T TO TAKE KIDS THE MARYLAND ZOO BRANCH, COUNTY ROSEDALE LIBRARY IN BALTIMORE Druid Hill Park, (410) 3967102, marylandzoo.org o sure, the zoo has had its struggles recently and is working to redefine and reposition itself (hence the maladroit name). But it’s the zoo, which means animals,and kids never get tired of those. Kids especially never get tired of baby animals, and baby elephant Samson, born at the zoo earlier this year, is one of the cuter baby animals you’re gonna see anywhere. But you know the thing we secretly like best about taking our kids to the zoo? It’s a great excuse to take the whole family for a long walk up and down and all around the slopes of Druid Hill Park, and given all the sedentary temptations of the television and the internet,and that’s well worth the admission price all on its own.

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6105 Kenwood Ave., Rosedale, (410) 887-0512, bcpl.info he Rosedale branch of the Baltimore County Public Library has all the stuff pretty much every other full-service city and county library does: shelves and shelves of books, racks of periodicals, movies, CDs,computers,pleasant staffers, etc. What Rosedale has that other libraries do not is Storyville, its newish children’s library/play area for kids 5 and under. In place of the usual wooden puzzles and plastic dinosaurs, Storyville encompasses seven different play areas where kids can play store, deliver faux mail,dress up and put on a show,

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he post office inside Mondawmin Mall on the second floor is staffed by the warmest, most service-oriented U.S. postal workers around, more than willing to dole out any snail-mail advice we need and to sell us every kind of postage to be had. Open till 5 P.M. weekdays and 3 on Saturdays (with an hour or so off each day to grab some lunch),there is never a line, so there is never a rush. Take your time picking the stamp that best represents you,whether it’s Chinese New Year,Frank Sinatra, Commemorative 9-11,Lady Liberty, or the Forever. Why not pick up a passport application while you’re at it? Then hop back on the No. 22 prepared to catch up on correspondences and dream of international travels.

BEST CITY SERVICE SINGLE STREAM RECYCLING arly in 2008, Baltimore City finally began its “single stream” recycling program, in which all recyclables could be placed in one bin and placed curbside for collection on the same day as the trash. The revolution was a long time coming,and required a lot of schedule juggling at the Department of Public Works’ solid-waste bureau and some new equipment, but finally the city made it easy to do what’s right and necessary. As of January, the city claimed about 30 percent of Baltimore’s 210,000 households were recycling—a little better than the state mandate. But we could do better. The city’s landfill has only about 11 years of capacity left at current fill rates.

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BEST USE OF TAXPAYER FUNDS MTA HYBRID PLAN (410) 539-5000, mtamaryland.com ell, it’s not the environment we’re concerned about, it’s our nerves: The plan to rehab and introduce 500 new hybrid buses to MTA’s fleet by 2014 promises less grime on our bodies, our cars, in our noses, and in our ears. And it’s not some distant fantasy: in July, Gov.

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Martin O’Malley promised not to buy any new diesel buses and add new Flyer hybrid buses in the city within a year, and add 80-100 new hybrids each year thereafter. This means more than one bus line can benefit from these babies at a time, allowing our envy—you in your brand new bus, us waiting for the late clunker—to pass by quickly. Yeah, hybrid buses cost $200,000 more than the diesel ones, but they make for happier commuters, drivers, cyclists, and pedestrians.

even whiter elephant than the current one? We’re confused. Anyway,yes,Baltimore is a firstclass city and it deserves a firstclass arena that can house a big-league team,blah blah blah. But our esteemed elected visionaries really haven’t thought this through, have they?

BEST SELFSATISFACTION BALTIMORE GREEN WEEK baltimoregreenweek.org

BEST MISUSE OF B TAXPAYER FUNDS NEW BALTIMORE ARENA o wait, now they tell us that the theoretical new downtown arena isn’t going to be big enough to house an NBA or NHL team? Spending bazillions of taxpayer dollars to build a new arena on spec in order to lure a pro basketball or hockey team was a bad enough idea,but now we’re going to build a smaller one that could maybe house a WNBA team? So what happens if some NBA owner comes calling, wanting to move his team to Baltimore? Do we tear down the new arena and build a bigger, stronger, faster one (with more luxury boxes)? Or do we suck up to Ed Hale and erect the arena he wants down in Canton, leaving the one downtown an

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y now, everyone who shouldn’t be smothered with a pillow is doing at least some of his or her part to make our planet a cleaner,greener place.Global warming is happening, and we all need to do as much as we can to be environmentally friendly. Seriously. However, the epic amount of both consumeristic and cultural green smugness is sometimes nauseating. This green-itude reached its local nadir earlier this year with Baltimore Green Week, when area culture vultures tried to defeat global warming with whimsical banners. Really, we hate to hate, but while this project was technically mostly volunteer-driven, it often felt more like a résumé/portfolio-builder for event planners and PR for the mayor than a substantive move.

BEST LIBRARY BRANCH, CITY ENOCH PRATT FREE C H R I S T O P H E R

LIBRARY, ORLEANS STREET BRANCH 1303 Orleans St., (410) 396-0970, prattlibrary.org/locations/orl eans

M Y E R S

appy first Birthday to Orleans Street, the newest addition to the Enoch Pratt Free Library. You may have grown up in the shadow of Johns Hopkins Hospital across the way,but you didn’t let it identify you.Instead, like your large windows facing Orleans Street, you’ve let in the neighborhood and incorporated it as a part of what you are: a neighborhood library. The Central Library maybe the icon-

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t was once Johns Hopkins’former estate,a farm he converted to a tranquil English garden. An Italianate villa looked out over rolling hills, and a tower offered a view of the then faroff downtown. How time changes the land. The old Lake Clifton High School, which is now two smaller schools, sits where there was once a lake surrounded by statuary and gardens.The unique eight-sided Clifton Gate House,built in 1887, deteriorates along St. Lo Drive, no longer transferring water from Lake Montebello. But the 18-hole golf course is well used— you risk a golf ball to the windshield if you cut through the park on Saturday—and offers vistas, both good and bad, of the surrounding streets and city skyline. Kids’sports leagues fill the fields throughout the year, and the clay tennis courts stay busy. Clifton Park is a beau-

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2701 St. Lo Drive, (410) 396-6102, ci.baltimore.md.us/ government/recnparks

tiful, 266-acre urban space, but it struggles with crime from nearby neighborhoods—July saw a double murder,and property crime abounds in the area, no doubt aided by the cover the park offers at night. Still, Clifton Park gets used. It’s a mixture of bygone elegance and grit, exuberance and desperation. The park in the middle of the city is much like the city itself.

GARDEN, PATTERSON PARK COMMUNITY GARDEN 275. S. Patterson Park Ave., (410) 276-3676 istinguishing one garden plot as the best from the hundreds in Baltimore City is folly, considering that anyone with planting dirt under their nails deserves much respect. But what awaits the visitor beyond the gate at the Patterson Park community gardens deserves some notice. There stands a Buddhist

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BEST CITY SERVICE: SINGLE STREAM RECYCLING garden with a whimsical curling path,robust flowering plantings,and a mosaic blossom sign inviting visitors to wade deep into the fauna and perhaps take a seat at the iron table of serenity. While surrounded by oth-

er worthy plots with towering hollyhocks,lilies,and crazy fashionable grasses, this corner garden serve as a kind of visual banner of hope for all gardeners at the starting line of a long toil. The Buddhist garden seems

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Eucharist (spoken), 8:30 a.m; Sunday Forum Speakers, 9:10 a.m. Morning Prayer (full choir), 10:30 a.m. Sunday Hospitality, 11:40 a.m. (A nice time to visit and meet people!) Wednesday Evenings 7 to 9 p.m. @ Emmanuel “Search for Meaning” Discussions - This Fall: Creation & Grace “Emmanuel Corner” Cathedral & Read Streets, Baltimore Phone: 410.685.1130 / Email: Office@EmmanuelDowntown.org

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BALTIMORE LIVING Granted, the trail is just about two miles from start to finish (longer if you add Wyman Park to it), but that’s two miles you don’t have to run on pavement. Your feet will notice.

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BEST PLACE TO KILL TIME TIDE POINT HAMMOCKS 1000 block of Hull Street anging out at Tide Point,you half expect a security guard to come chase your loitering ass away, so pleasant are the environs. But fear not, this expanse of spotless boardwalk is accessible to the public, courtesy of juggernaut developer Streuver Bros. Eccles and Rouse. Tranquil maritime scenery, low ambient noise level, and, most importantly, hammock availability make Tide Point a veritable oasis of quietude. Amazingly, it’s generally not crowded. But alas, there are simply never enough hammocks, so if you snag one, hog it mercilessly. Sway in the gentle bay breeze, perhaps catch a whiff of thick sweetness from the Domino factory, and try not to remember you’re in Locust Point.

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BEST NIMBYS: ROLAND PARKERS VS. KESWICK

BEST PLACE TO STROLL NORTHERN CENTRAL RAILROAD TRAIL Gunpowder Falls State Park, (410)-592-2897, dnr.state.md.us/greenways/ncrt _trail.html s Wal-Marts and suburban housing developments, have taken over much of northern Baltimore County, you have to value land allowed to remain undeveloped. And while the Northern Central Railroad Trail,part of Gunpowder Falls State Park,can become crowded on weekends (when walkers compete with bikers, joggers, and sometimes horses for space), 20 miles of mostly shaded, well-kept, and wateredged path is a boon in any neighborhood. Those seeking a more solitary stroll should drive to the northern point of the trail at the Pennsylvania line and walk south.

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BEST PLACE TO WALK DOGS LEAKIN PARK 1901 Eagle Drive, (410) 3960440, leakinpark.com here are other parks more popular with the doggie set, but for us there’s no place like Leakin Park for a leisurely walk with a pooch or three. When we look for a destination to take the dog, we’re

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not looking for density—quite the opposite. Even the most urbane canine enjoys a respite from the irritations of city living, after all, so we like to take our dogs to walk in the great 1,000-acre wilderness of Leakin Park. Paved trails meander through thickly forested areas, where both human and hound can enjoy the sights,sounds,and scents of wetlands, woods, and meadows—and your dog is likely to enjoy scents of wildlife, like deer, foxes, rabbits, and more that call this park home. Best of all, there’s precious little pedestrian traffic to dodge, no busy intersections to cross,and few,if any,off-leash dogs to interrupt your stroll. In fact, on some days, it’s just us and the dogs, and not another soul in sight.

BEST PLACE TO HIKE ROBERT E. LEE PARK Falls Road at Lakeside Drive, Mount Washington

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he picturesque area around the historic dam at Robert E. Lee Park is a bit dodgy, what with the bridge across the Jones Falls closed for repairs and occasional crimes being committed there. But the park is much larger than it appears, as long as you’re willing to navigate its many unmarked and impromptu trails. With its own Light Rail stop, it’s a worthy destination for short, easy-in/easy-out hikes, but killing much of the day wandering around the woods there C I T Y

is also an option. Up near Bare Hills, the park features the scrubby pines and rocky, dry grasslands of the “serpentine barrens”and the rocky face of an abandoned quarry. The old railroad bed and bridge provide access to more territory along Falls Road and beyond, where the truly adventurous can try following Jones Falls tributaries upstream into lesser-traveled areas that may or may not cross privateproperty lines.If anyone complains, just tell the truth:You got lost while hiking in Robert E. Lee Park.

Linkwood Drive and University Parkway f you haven’t been lured back to the treadmill by the addition of the personal television sets, you’re probably someone who likes to run outdoors.If you live near a park, you have your runs arranged for you. But if you live in North Baltimore, the one section of the city without a major park, you often end up dodging traffic on the city’s narrow sidewalks or running through neighborhoods with houses several times as big as your apartment or rowhouse. But the Stoney Run Trail,a well-maintained,mostly dirt path that starts at the intersection of Linkwood Drive and University Parkway and runs up to Northern Parkway is the perfect alternative to running on the street. P A P E R

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BRANCH OF THE PATAPSCO RIVER t may be trash-strewn and sewageladen, but the Patapsco River’s Northwest Branch—which starts at Fort McHenry and includes Baltimore’s Inner Harbor—in recent years has become a paddlerfriendly place. The growth of the Canton Kayak Club (cantonkayakclub.com) has increased both the number of paddlers and their points of access to and from the water, so you can look forward to plenty of company. Yachts, commercial vessels, and motorized small craft produce plenty of traffic, wakes, and standing waves to keep kayakers and canoeists on high alert, but nooks and crannies along the pier-laden shoreline provide places for safe harbor. If the waters get too crowded, there’s always the option of waiting out the rush hour ashore, catching a bite and a beer in harbor-side neighborhoods. Remember,though,lathering up with plenty of strong soap helps reduce the risk of infection after coming in contact Baltimore’s nasty harbor water,which at times hosts massive fish kills. Enjoy!

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BEST PLACE TO RUN STONEY RUN TRAIL I

BEST PLACE TO PADDLE THE NORTHWEST

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BALTIMORE LIVING

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Individualized Medical Weightloss Program

10820 Beaver Dam Road, Cockeysville, (410) 785-2323, beaverdamswimming club.com

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t’s a tough choice: fresh water vs. swimming pool. The great thing about Beaver Dam Swim Club is you don’t need to choose—plunge into the freshwater quarry from a floating raft or rope swing,or splash in one of two swimming pools. The volleyball court, shaded picnic tables and grills, and yummy old-school snack counter are nice, too.

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Phyllis Brown, C.R.N.P. Certified Nurse Practitioner Specializing in Medical Weight Loss Management

Phone: 410.602.3322 (appointments) (information)

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here isn’t much surprise to a mind-numbing drive on I-95. That’s why when the sweet smell of doughnuts wafts in the car at Exit 50 (Caton Avenue) it is a welcome diversion. If by some cruel fate you must run this gauntlet as part of a daily commute, we recommend that just south of the city you roll down the windows and breathe deep. This distraction might just turn the banal into the bearable.

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PET PORTRAITS by Peter Harrington

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here’s a lot of blight in Baltimore—so much that we’ve kind of learned to see through a lot of it. Some days we hardly notice the boarded-up buildings, weeds growing through the sidewalks, and trash blowing like tumbleweeds through the streets we travel. But this section of Gay Street,between Broadway and Wolfe Street before Gay turns into Belair Road,astounds us with its complete and utter desolation. It has the req-

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Contact Peter Harrington 443-491-3477 or pfharrington@live.com PAGE 28

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from neighboring Roland Parkers was lightning-fast and effective. While as of press time Keswick still seems intent on building something on the Baltimore Country Club property,elected officials have lined up behind Roland Park residents, despite seniors being the backbone of Baltimore’s voting population. And while development issues often fade into the background, the protesters have kept the issue alive in the news and the coffeehouses (see, for one, this Best Of). We here at City Paper aren’t sure who’s in the right here—we’re strongly in favor of both keeping Baltimore’s dwindling green spaces intact and private property rights—but we always enjoy a good counterpunch to development, no matter who’s wielding the, in this case, platinum-plated boxing glove. (However,the kiddie protests— that’s a low blow.)

BEST AREA WE’D LIKE TO SEE BEST DUNDALK ENVIRONMENTAL REVITALIZED AROMA PART OF I-95 E BEST URBAN THAT SMELLS LIKE DOUGHNUTS PLANNING BLOG BALTIMORE

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Original Paintings

uisite boarded-up buildings, burned-out windows,and broken glass on the streets and sidewalks, but unlike other blighted urban streets, there’s almost no sign of life on these blocks. No one’s out walking, no one is sitting on stoops, there are no curtained windows to signify that there’s at least one determined soul trying to stick it out here. There’s not even any sign of drug trafficking—no junkies swaying in the breeze, no corner boys waiting for customers. You know it’s bad when the underground economy, which usually thrives in neglected neighborhoods, can’t even get a foothold.

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ast-side neighborhoods Fells Point, Canton, Brewers Hill, and even Highlandtown have had their moments. So why not Dundalk? The eastern Baltimore County enclave has a lot of what makes an area desirable. Proximity to downtown? Check. Individual homes? Sure, including some designed by architect E.H. Bouton in 1916 to create a Roland Park-like community for Dundalk’s steelworkers. Parks and green spaces? There are 1,310 acres at North Point State Park alone. Beaches? Water views? Yep, them, too. Plus a Fourth of July celebration/Heritage Fair that beats ’em all. Sure, it’s easy to follow the herd and dis this workingclass community that was once so economically viable its citizens talked of seceding from Baltimore County. So go ahead and ignore Dundalk. But don’t say we didn’t let you in on the secret.

BEST NIMBYS ROLAND PARKERS VS. KESWICK rolandpark.org/BCC1.html othing like watching a bunch of well-off homeowners protest something. When the folks at Keswick Multi-Care announced their desires earlier this summer to purchase part of the Baltimore Country Club and build senior housing facilities, the response

INNERSPACE baltimoreinnerspace. blogspot.com e don’t know Gerald Neily, but his Baltimore Innerspace is one of the most informative and innovative urban planning blogs in a city that is still recovering from the James Rouse decades. Neily, a former transportation planner in the city, has no shortage of ideas, from routing the proposed Red Line through the city’s massive underground parking lots to building a road that connects Cold Spring New Town and Cross Keys with Roland Park. Even better,Neily illustrates his colorful,at times pugnacious, prose with photos of the many forgotten spaces and abandoned projects in the city.We don’t know enough to decide whether or not Neily’s proposals are feasible, but we’d take his historically informed, slightly off-kilter proposals over another Inner Harbor condo project any day.

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: A CULTURAL REVOLUTION. PITTSBURGH Ground-breaking artists. Genre-bending art. Premieres you can’t see anywhere else.

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See the world in a new way: The Pittsburgh International Festival of Firsts presents performances that shake your certainty and challenge your senses. Artists who boldly cross boundaries, mixing film/theatre/dance/music/ancient/modern/real/surreal to create something completely new. All in three whirlwind weeks, October 10-25. Join the cultural revolution and visit during the week or weekend and be part of this exciting city-wide celebration during Pittsburgh’s 250th birthday. Save on travel, accommodations and event tickets and get free gasoline when you book online at

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THE PITTSBURGH CULTURAL TRUST’S

September 17, 2008


BALTIMORE LIVING

BEST BUS LINE THE NO. 11 sed to be,to get from far south to far north of Charm City, without veering too far west or east, options were few and far between (an hour in between, to be exact). The No. 11 line ran three different routes, from three different southbound and northbound destinations, and if we got on the wrong one, well, that’s why Yellow Cab is in our cell-phone contacts. Now, the No. 11 line runs consistently from Canton to Towson every 20-25 minutes along the city’s central arteries. Sure, we could have used a heads-up about it, maybe should have called the toll-free number to make sure that stop was still a stop before we stood there for 45 minutes in the rain wearing all white, but letting bygones be bygones, we give credit where it’s due— to the MTA higher-ups who made the 11 consistently go where we want to go.

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BEST BUS OUT OFMVPTHEBUSCITY 1910 N. Charles St., (888) 687-2871, mvpbus.com f you’re a veteran of the Greyhound era of interstate bus travel, you probably remember expensive tickets, painfully slow bus rides with stops along the way, and drivers who seem to have gone slowly crazy in their years behind the wheel. The rise of the Chinatown buses in recent years has been a godsend for budgetminded travelers, but MVP’s service from the 1900 block of North Charles Street, which began last December, is a small revolution for bus travel to New York. Instead of having to wait at the trash mound across the street from the nightmarish Baltimore Travel Plaza, you can sit in the MVP waiting area,just blocks away from Penn Station. The ticket price is reasonable, the bus drivers have humored Wham City denizens by allowing them to host art shows on the trip, and they invariably show Rush Hour 2. What more can you ask for?

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BEST PLACE TO WATCH GOVERNMENT WORKERS TURN INTO AN ANGRY MOB MARC TRAIN

BEST PUBLIC BEST PROPOSED TRANSIT CHANGE, USE OF THE LIGHT PROPOSED RAIL TRACKS BALTIMORE METRO RIFFIN’S RAILROAD EXTENSION lthough the Red Line plans may be further along,we find all the debates—above ground or underground? Light rail or bus rapid transit?—a bit tiresome. But the Green Line plan is much simpler and, if it’s done right, will require much less politicking, something always welcome in this city. The proposed four-mile extension of the current Baltimore Metro, which one day might be known as the Green Line, would add stops at Preston Street (where MARC is planning a stop for the Johns Hopkins medical campus), North Avenue, Eastern High School, and Morgan State University. Three of the four stops already have space for a station,and it will make it much faster to get downtown for those on the northeast side of the city. It may be years away from being built, but at least it’s a plan we shouldn’t have to fight about.

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ising gas prices have increased ridership on the MARC commuter train, which funnels Maryland workers down to Washington. As more and more bodies pack the rails, basic human decency goes out the window. On their best day, the crowded MARC trains breed shoving, arguing, and namecalling. When temperatures rise and expanded rails cause delays, all hell breaks loose. Hundreds of enraged government drones mill about the train platform, hurling insults at the railworkers and making rude gestures with their insulated lunch sacs. Someday soon we expect to see the police arrive, dressed in riot gear and leading police dogs, turning rush hour into a rerun of the ’68 Democratic National Convention—only with more BlackBerrys and fewer ideals.

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BEST PUBLIC TRANSIT CHANGE, ACTUAL EXPANDED MARC

BEST BOON TO MTA USERFRIENDLINESS ONLINE TRIP PLANNER mtamaryland.com/transit o much is said about the failures of the mass-transit system in Baltimore that we thought it would be refreshing to discuss something positive. For the bus riders out there, the MTA now has a Trip Planner service on its web site. Just type in your origin, destination, and when you want to leave, and you’ll get a Google map with suggestions of which buses you can take and when they’ll arrive. The good news is that now you don’t have to pore over every bus route map on the MTA web site to figure out what the hell number bus you should be on to get where you have to go. The bad news for the MTA is that telling people when they can expect to catch a bus is just going to call attention to the fact that the buses are never on time. But let’s keep things positive— hurray for the Trip Planner.

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TRAIN SERVICE f you’ve moved from, or have friends in Washington, it’s doubtless that you’ve told yourself and others that you’re only an hour and $7 from a city with an extensive subway system, free museums, and plenty of jobs. Until last February, you probably kicked yourself each time you missed a rush-hour train, or had to take off early from a party because you needed to catch the 10:40 P.M. back to Baltimore. MARC may have its problems, but it made commuting much easier last February,when it added a rushhour train and an 11:45 P.M. train, making it possible to see a 9 o’clock movie or go out for drinks in D.C. without having to check the time on your cell phone every five minutes.They’ve even promised weekend service, which would make us love them, and our D.C. friends, even more.

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creasingly likely apocalypselevel disaster here]. It’s still an active freight line, though traffic is infrequent nowadays, and seeing something rumble across it is worth the wait,and the hike in along Gwynns Falls Trail.

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ames Riffin is trying to resurrect freight-rail service between Cockeysville and the national rails running through Baltimore via the light-rail tracks, which until recent years were long used for running freight. It sounds like a ludicrous proposition,but Riffin’s serious,putting money where his mouth is by making investments designed to dress him up in legal motions as a nascent carrier, just a few hurdles away from full-scale operation. He’s whip-smart and high-energy, willing even to risk jail—where he was sent for a spell earlier this year, for contempt of court—to pursue the legal cause of reopening artifacts of America’s freight-rail legacy, such as the long-abandoned Cockeysville spur that once connected his York Road property to freight service. He has letters from potential shippers interested in service, should it become available, and Riffin’s desire to provide it coincides with society’s larger transportation goals in an age of burdensome energy costs. All he wants to do is to run freight in the middle of the night, using the tracks when the light rail doesn’t. Riffin recognizes his chances are worse than slim to none, but that’s not stopping him. Modest proposal or ludicrous proposition, Riffin’s railroad is the subject of a conversation worth having.

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BEST TRAINSPOTTING CARROLTON VIADUCT Off Gwynns Falls Trail directly behind Carroll Park Golf Course e don’t make castles anymore. Engineers and architects design our cities and beyond like the human race was a passing fad. The concrete ribbons in the sky today don’t have shit on Baltimore’s earliest engineering marvel, the Carrollton Viaduct. Built in 1829 for the country’s first rail line, from Baltimore to Cumberland, the viaduct, essentially a threestory inverted stone wedge crossing over Gwynns Falls, could well be the last thing left standing after the [insert in-

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granted scenes of devastation. But seriously, if you feel like scaring the bejesus out of some annoying, inner city-fearing in-laws, you could do worse than downloading a map and podcast and sending them on their way.

BEST REASON BEST DAY TRIP TO VISIT AN FROM BALTIMORE, INDUSTRIAL ZONE EDUCATIONAL CHEAP GAS ANTIETAM NATIONAL hen we first came up with the idea for this Best Of,finding cheap (ha!) gas seemed like a desperate, harrowing need. (It was well over $4 a gallon at the time—remember?) But now, with gas at about $3.45, not so much. Still, here’s a hint. Don’t bother with those online gas maps;they just make your head hurt. Instead, point your vehicle in the direction of smokestacks, warehouses, tractor-trailers,and cranes.Sure, Baltimore isn’t the industrial force it used to be, but there are still plenty of hot spots out there—far Southeast, Curtis Bay, Jessup—and for whatever reason (competition?), the stations in those neighborhoods are often pumping the cheapest gas in town. Fill ’er up!

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BEST DRIVING TOUR FOR VISITING IN-LAWS UNIVERSITY OF BALTIMORE’S BALTIMORE ’68: RIOTS AND REBIRTH DRIVING TOUR ubalt.edu/template.cfm? page=1637 e kid. This is actually a well put together, informative— if nearly completely depressing—tour of the damage caused by the riots of 1968 in the wake of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. What makes the tour so depressing is the fact that so much damage remains, that armies of urban planners and developers and oceans of dollars and good intentions haven’t been able to repair Baltimore (or many other U.S. cities, for that matter). What makes this tour so valuable is putting hard information—exactly where and when fires were started, rocks were thrown, windows were broken—to familiar, taken-for-

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BATTLEFIELD Sharpsburg, nps.gov/anti ou don’t have to be a Civil War buff to feel the silent intensity of the Antietam battlefield just south of Hagerstown. You can drive through the national memorial site in your car, but the best views are had standing, silent, looking about you at the fields that roll in all directions. The mood here is remarkably different than nearby Gettysburg, where every shop and restaurant features some take on Civil War kitschiness, where re-enactors strut about even on days when there isn’t a battle re-enactment, where you take in lunch at a buffet restaurant named after Gen. Pickett, and where kids run about in blue or gray infantry caps. Here, in Sharpsburg, the wind rustles through the grass, and it’s quiet. Three thousand six hundred and fifty soldiers were killed here on Sept.17,1862, during the Confederate Army’s incursion into Union territory, and thousands more died of their wounds—nearly 23,000 soldiers, both Confederate and Union, were killed, wounded, or went missing in action— earning Antietam the dubious distinction of being the bloodiest single day in U.S. history. With all that’s happened in the past decade, it’s worth reflecting on the scope of American conflict on this terrible soil, so near Baltimore. And it’s worth considering that such awful events can usher positive change: President Lincoln, shortly after this battle, delivered his Emancipation Proclamation.

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BALTIMORE LIVING

BEST DAY TRIP FROM BALTIMORE, LEISURE CUNNINGHAM FALLS

BEST ORIOLE MELVIN MORA

STATE PARK

F R A N K

14039 Catoctin Hollow Road, Thurmont, (301) 271-7574, dnr.state.md.us/publiclands/ western/cunninghamfalls .html ou need a break from staring into a computer screen or putting food in front of ungrateful customers, but what to do? Cunningham Falls State Park, about 75 minutes outside of Baltimore, is the perfect solution for any malaise. There’s sun, shade, picnic areas, swimming, canoeing, hiking (both easy and challenging), waterfalls, fried-food concessions, screaming hordes of summercamp kids, quiet cubbyholes, families, single people, you name it. Just be sure to get there early: The line at the front gate can get pretty interminable after noon.

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PLACE BEST CAR-FREE BEST TO BIKE WEEKEND TO WORK GETAWAY MARC TRAIN TO THE I APPALACHIAN TRAIL Train: (410) 539-5000, mtamaryland.com; trail: appalachiantrail.org f ever we, the gas-abstinence community, were in want of a car, it’d be summer weekends. You know, when people are packing up for a trip to the beach or up to the mountains. We’re left with jaunts to Gwynns Falls and North Point parks,and sometimes we’d like to have a place to go where we can, you know, stay safely after dark. No doubt it’s a bitch, but MARC provides a sneaky escape. With a transfer in Washington, you can get to either Brunswick, Md., or Harper’s Ferry,W.Va.,in less than two hours and, minutes later, be on either the C&O Towpath (Georgetown to Cumberland) or the Appalachian Trail and its access to Crampton’s Gap, South Mountain, and further. The rub is that MARC only runs on weekdays, so you’ll have to make it a three-day weekend (leaving Friday evening, returning Monday morning, that is)—not that that’s a bad thing.

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nder skipper Dave Trembley’s watch, the O’s have shown up for every game, and played every game to win, even when the rotation collapsed or the bullpen threw it all way. It’s been attitude, and a healthy dose of hitting, that has kept us from losing hope. Aubrey Huff, Brian Roberts, Nick Markakis, and Adam Jones—each having a solid, productive season in his own right—are led, if not in numbers,then in spirit,by Melvin Mora. The 2004 Silver Slugger, hovering in the mid-.200s midseason,broke out after the break to improve his batting average nearly .040 points to .280, a power punch in the toughest stretch of the schedule. Mora, who’s been criticized in the past as negative or distracted,seemed to find new energy this year. In the midst of another losing season, he rose to the challenge of team leadership. His attitude was workmanlike, his comments positive, his streak inspiring. In a so-called rebuilding year, it’s great to watch a veteran find his stride.

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f you live less than a couple miles from your office, and you don’t have to wear a suit, then you have no excuse. We’re calling on all cubicle slaves, creative professionals, workaday types, and toilers in the information economy to park your goddamn car, get a bike, and help fill the city’s streets. We’re not talking Critical Mass spectacle, we’re talking about a day by day, month by month, slow but steady increase of twowheeled,person-powered transportation. We have some catching up to do: The League of American Bicyclists reports Census figures that the number of New Yorkers riding their bikes to work went from 15,024 in 2000 to 17,146 in 2005. Now, we’d normally never compare Baltimore to NYC, but if they can survive biking in Manhattan, you can survive the mean streets of Baltimore.Get a helmet,learn defensive moves, and flex that eye in the back of your head. The more of us, the better.

BEST PLACE BEST BICYCLING- BEST LOCAL TO BUST A LUNG RELATED ATHLETE MICHAEL PHELPS ON A BIKE ENGINEERING POPLAR HILL ROAD MISSTEP N JONES FALLS TRAIL East off Falls Road via Clark’s Hill Road

inding true bicycling pain in Baltimore is a bitch because our hills aren’t very high and, thus, not very long. So, we of the masochistic/lactic-acidjunkie sort have to find our pain in steep grades. The valley walls along Falls Road provide just the topography needed. The driveway-thin, disintegrating Poplar Hill Road, accessed from Falls Road via Clark’s Hill Road, is arguably the best among them, winding up through wealthy, suburban Baltimore for about three quarters of a mile to Bellmore Road at an angle steep enough to make your lungs declare mutiny. Without a doubt, this is the longest mile in the city.

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C I T Y

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BEHIND DRUID HILL PARK jonesfalls.org ou can’t engineer a forest. You can only remove and replace. This is precisely what the landscape butchers—folks that have so obviously never ridden or, perhaps, seen a bicycle—contracted by the city of Baltimore to build the latest extension of the Jones Falls Trail have done. (Don’t get us wrong: We can’t say how much we love that the city is actually giving a damn about cyclists.) What looks like a repurposed wheelchair access ramp with fresh lawn grass planted in between switchbacks now snakes up the backside of Druid Hill Park, changing the face of the hillside into an ugly, thoughtless landscape that looks like it belongs in a cheap apartment complex courtyard in the suburbs. Add to it the fact that its narrow, tight design makes it both dangerous and a pain the ass to ride—though the grade is now safe for toddlers, we suppose—and we, the taxpayers, want our money back on this one.

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O F

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ot since Cal Ripken Jr. has Baltimore had a hometown sports star of superhero proportions. That is, until swimmer Michael Phelps did the unthinkable. Sure, the 23-yearold had already racked up numerous achievements before the whole planet took notice: At 15, Phelps was the youngest swimmer to turn pro; at 19, he won a not-shabby six gold and two bronze medals at the 2004 Olympics. And,of course,there’s this summer’s haul in Beijing— eight gold medals,the most ever won in a single Olympic sport, and seven world records—is certainly impressive.But Phelps’ true legacy is that he made swimming cool. So cool that NBC ought to send the man a handwritten thank-you card for the ratings boost. So cool it makes up for “What are they putting in Baltimore’s water?” jokes (The answer: pure awesome). So cool, traveling city residents, when mentioning where they live, no longer need smile through yet another Homicide/The Wire/John Waters reference. Now we can say, all nonchalant:“You know, where Michael Phelps learned to swim.”

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BEST RAVEN KELLY GREGG alling Kelly Gregg the Rodney Dangerfield of the Ravens is silly these days. The ferocious defensive lineman got a nice spread in Baltimore magazine recently. He gets mad props on call-in radio shows. And when Gregg is mentioned in the sports press, the adjectives “underrated” and “overlooked” are attached to his name so often you’d think his nickname was “Unsung,”not “Buddy Lee.”But Buddy Lee he is, respected and loved by his teammates and fans who appreciate his hardnosed, workmanlike approach to his position, even if he doesn’t get the Pro Bowl tap on the shoulder. If everyone calls him “underrated,”then he’s not underrated anymore.Watch Buddy Lee tear into an offensive line, chasing QBs and backs down like a pit bull. Watch him lead the team in tackles. Watch him grin and shrug, not wanting to draw attention to himself. It’s no wonder anyone who pays attention the Ravens loves this guy. Gregg recently underwent knee surgery, and missed his third game since he joined the Ravens in 2001. Surgery? Bah. He’s tough, all right, the kind

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BALTIMORE LIVING

BEST SPORTS FIRING (WE THINK) GETTING RID OF BRIAN BILLICK e admit that we already miss Brian Billick’s multisyllablism. What many called arrogant we saw as a refreshing alternative to the pouting disdain that most coaches have for the media. But Billick’s regime was still leaning on its 2000 Super Bowl win. Billick’s replacement, John Harbaugh, has no NFL head-coaching experience; apparently it was enough for owner Steve Bisciotti that he was a respected secondary coach in Philadelphia. Harbaugh inherits an aging roster with a rookie quarterback.The vaunted defense has two talented but gimpy corners, and the young offensive line is already mired in injury. So Harbaugh isn’t in for much a honeymoon, but hopefully this year’s losses won’t be due to a coach who stubbornly stays the course regardless of what is happening on the field. Let’s just hope the rebuilding won’t be as painfully prolonged as the Orioles’ next door.

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have put B-more on the map of many a recruiter. The building itself is a bit of a dump; only the bold brave the rats in the men’s room. But word is that it’s gonna see a muchneeded and well-deserved renovation come next year. Just promise us you won’t furbish off any of the magic.

BEST BIG GAME HUNTER JIM AMRHEIN altimore is no hunting Valhalla, but some in Mobtown still practice the blood sports with lethal efficiency. No. 1 with a bullet: nationally published hunting writer Jim Amrhein. A longtime archer,rifleman,and outdoorsman,Amrhein has stalked the Eastern U.S. for whitetail and sika deer, wild boar, coyote,turkey,pheasant,grouse, waterfowl, and all manner of small game. But his real passion is safari. Last year in Zimbabwe, Amrhein took down wildebeest, warthog, kudu, impala, zebra, baboon, and a pair of Cape buffalo— considered the world’s most dangerous game by many professional hunters.

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BEST PLACE TO BOWL MUSTANG ALLEY’S 1300 Bank St., (410) 5222695, mustangalleys.com

BEST PLACE T TO WATCH TOMORROW’S NBA ALL-STARS TODAY MADISON SQUARE RECREATION CENTER (AKA THE DOME) 1401 E. Biddle St., No. 1, (410) 396-9284 armelo Anthony,Sam Cassell, Juan Dixon,and Reggie Lewis are a handful of the NBA stars who have held mad midnight court in this East Baltimore hoops institution. Hell, even Muggsy Bogues got big on the Dome’s rims. But what really makes this gritty bit of Baltimore sports magic hum is the summertime high school Craig Cromwell League and the games of streetball that

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September 17, 2008

he grand and storied sport, pastime, and lifestyle of bowling has been dying within the limits of the City That Duckpins—the most recent casualty being Seidel’s Lanes on Belair Road—so we are grateful for the new Mustang Alley’s at Central Avenue and Bank Street, handy to Whole Foods and all those quasi-upscale shops in the Harbor East environs. The environment is disturbingly swanky for seasoned kegglers, with intimate lighting, a dress code (no “sleeveless or excessively baggy T-shirts,no sweats or sports jersey� in a bowling alley?!?), items such as cedar-plank salmon available to munch between frames, and lane rentals starting at $30 an hour, but look, get over it; Mustang Alley’s has brought us 12 new lanes of bowling! Eight 10-pin and four duckpin setups! So

Using too much

we raise a ball bag to this sleek, modern newcomer to the Baltimore bowling scene and urge devotees and novices of the sport of Ralph Kramden, Fred Flintsone, and the Dude to resist looking this gift horse in the mouth and book a lane.

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BEST SCIENTIST ROLAND GRIFFITHS study of the spiritual effects of hallucinogen psilocybin was bound to make the news, if only to give headline writers an excuse to exhume puns they haven’t used since the ’60s, but Roland Griffiths and his team at Johns Hopkins deserve credit for risking the study of a drug that brings with it a lot of cultural and legal baggage. Whatever therapeutic promise hallucinogens may have shown in early experiments were wiped away by Timothy Leary and the excesses of 1960s drug culture, along with the attendant backlash. But Griffiths, et al., with their 2006 study and a followup earlier this year, have taken the subject out of the dorm room and back into the laboratory, where we may be able learn a little more about the way the human brain functions. Whether the drug has any medical application or not, the Hopkins study and those like it step into a scientific vacuum that allowed for doubt and speculation on both sides of the debate.

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of guy who will laugh off a little slice and dice on the knee the same way he laughs off keelhauling Ben Roethlisberger.

BEST DO-GOODER CHRIS DELAPORTE, THE PARK ADVOCATE hris Delaporte started laying the groundwork for a leaderless park-restoration movement two years ago,gathering data, developing a web site where people from all over Baltimore—and outside of it—could meet to plan action. The radical idea? Take care of what you have before building more stuff.Delaporte,with decades of park management experience including two stints at the head of Baltimore’s parks system, knows full well that the city has the money to maintain its parks. It just has to be spent properly. With a couple of small victories under its belt,we hope the Park Advocate takes on a life of its own.

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BALTIMORE LIVING

BEST YOUNG ACTIVIST CHRIS GOODMAN Baltimore Algebra Project, baltimore-algebraproject.org hris Goodman, 20, has been raising a ruckus since his high school days at Baltimore City College. Back then, Goodman, leader of the city’s most active youth activist organization, the Baltimore Algebra Project, was an Afroed boy wonder, speaking truth to power and doing so with hip-hop style. Not much has changed, even though Goodman is now out of high school. These days he’s pulling double duty: He’s a college student at Morgan State University, and is still acting as lead organizer for Algebra Project in his spare time. Youth power: Word.

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can use an income boost, something the fine folks at Associated Black Charities have recognized over the years. So earlier this year, the group sponsored partnership called More in the Middle to revive the city by nurturing the black middle class. The goal is to boost homeownership by black families, increase educational attainment by black students, and cut unemployment rates for black workers.It’s about time the city’s brain trust joined forces and came up with some real ideas. Of course, best-laid plans never seem to come fruition, but giving a leg up to Baltimore’s less fortunate can improve all of our fortunes.

BEST NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION HEALTH CARE FOR THE HOMELESS 111 Park Ave., (410) 8375533, hchmd.org

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BEST IDEA FOR YOUTH F PROGRAMMING PEER-TO-PEER YOUTH ENTERPRISE FUND p2pyouthenterprises.org he kids are our future, or so people like to say, though there’s usually minimal substance behind such words. The Peer-to-Peer Youth Enterprise Fund actually puts kids front and center. P2P is a collaborative effort of youth-centered organizations like Baltimore Algebra Project and Wide Angle Media organized on the principle that giving young people the chance to lead and work will actually improve their life outcomes—whodathunkit? The fund hopes to raise $3 million to support youth-led organizations, and it appears on pace to do just that.

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BEST PHILANTHROPIC ENDEAVOR MORE IN THE MIDDLE

or more than 20 years the folks at Health Care for the Homeless have extended primary and preventative medical and mental health services to the men and women who have fallen through the cracks. Just last month Health Care for the Homeless broke ground at its new location at Hillen Street and Fallsway,just east of downtown, where its new 54,000square-foot facility—more than double the size of its current space—will help it provide services to the countless clients it had to turn away in recent years because of lack of space. This larger facility, which is scheduled to open in 2010, will also permit the organization to launch its first dental program, as well as increase the scope and capability of other services. Health Care for the Homeless provides sorely needed outreach and advocacy for the city’s 3,002 estimated homeless people, according to the 2007 Baltimore City Homeless Census—a figure even this study confesses is a bare-minimum approximation.

1114 Cathedral St., (443) 5277713, ext. 5 uppies—black urban professionals—Baltimore needs more of ’em. Charm City’s overwhelmingly black population

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BEST BIG GAME HUNTER: JIM AMRHEIN

September 17, 2008

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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

BY EDWARD ERICSON JR.

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AGE CROYDER IS THAT RAREST OF THINGS IN BALTIMORE politics: a whistle-blower.

After spending more than 20 years as an assistant Baltimore state’s attorney, the last five of those administrating a program called the War Room that tracked and incarcerated repeat violent offenders, Croyder, 52, retired and began shopping her stories to the local media. Marc Steiner’s Center for Emerging Media gave her a blog (centerforemergingmedia.org/topics/criminal-justice),and since May, Croyder has produced more than 10,000 words of tightly argued, evidence-based commentary about some of the local judiciary’s most insidious problems. She has drawn reader commentary and expert rejoinders from the defense bar, opening up a spirited debate the candor of which is seldom seen in these parts. Croyder’s claims have sometimes seemed shocking. She has attacked Margaret Burns, longtime spokeswoman for Baltimore State’s Attorney Pat Jessamy, calling her a liar who has usurped the power of Jessamy’s office.“They are almost the co-state’s attorneys right now,”Croyder told WHFS-FM afternoon talk host (and ex-felon and former Baltimore police chief ) Ed Norris in July. “Jessamy has been so de-

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pendent on Burns for so long that she almost can’t do anything without Burns.” The interview came in the midst of a dump-Burns movement that ignited after Burns suggested in an interview with local publication Exhibit A that Zach Sowers—who was beaten into a coma during an assault on June 2, 2007, and died on March 25—had not been severely injured by his assailants. Sowers’widow,Anna,called Burns (who claims she was misquoted) a liar. And Croyder concurs. “I have a file of the things [Burns] did to undermine the police department, and a lot of it was false,” Croyder told Norris on July 28. Croyder was never what one would call a shrinking violet. In 1984 she ranked sixth in the Women’s Boxing Federation’s Super Featherweight (130-pound) division.“I did it just to learn to box,” she says during a recent interview. “I had a couple of exhibitions, then a judged amateur fight. . . I was 1-0 as an amateur and 1-0 as a pro. Then I graduated from law school and got on with my life.” She joined the State’s Attorney’s Office in 1987 as a prosecuting attorney. But she didn’t keep her head down.Croyder ran for judge

in 1998, saying not all nine of the incumbents—who were running together on a slate—were qualified. She lost, but developed a reputation for speaking her mind, writing letters to the editor of The Baltimore Sun on such diverse topics as judicial salaries and evolutionary theory. (The judicial letter got her demoted, she says.)

“I have a file of the things [Burns] did to undermine the police department.” Shortly after the War Room became operational in 2003, Croyder was quoted in The Daily Record detailing the case of a violent offender who slipped through the cracks. The man had gun and assault convictions, but at least two subsequent arrests for violating probation were dropped—in part because the man was brought in after 3 A.M., when the War Room was closed. Croyder got a new arrest warrant on the man. She has since said that Jessamy—and especially Burns—“buried C I T Y

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Croyder cites law and rule showing that bail hearings are about the severity of the crime and the defendant’s flight risk, not about the perceived strength of the prosecution’s case. “Judge Braverman doesn’t get that,”Croyder wrote in her first post about the case. “He is always complaining that he needs to know ‘more.’ How many witnesses? What did they say? He knows that a defendant can use this information to find out who the witness or witnesses are.He knows all about wit-

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Explains how the System Really Works

ness intimidation,and witness murder. He just doesn’t care. I have a file of bail reductions from Judge Braverman that make my hair stand on end.” University of Maryland law professor Doug Colbert responded to Croyder, criticizing her for taking Braverman and others to task and saying her philosophy is to violate the Bill of Rights. “Croyder knows the Baltimore State Attorney´s office has an extremely low conviction rate in which only one out of three arrestees are convicted,” Colbert wrote on Croyder’s blog. “She sees bail as the way to keep certain people in jail as a way of imposing punishment before trial.” (While on bail,Smith was rearrested and charged with shooting another man. He was held without bail on those charges.) Colbert went on to suggest that Croyder is angling for a political run against Jessamy—or against one of her targeted judges. Croyder says that’s not the case. In writing so bluntly,Page Croyder risks being seen by some as impolite,or shrill, or even a loose cannon. But that analysis misses a larger point. Baltimore is beset by so many outrages—from its 60 percent-plus high school dropout rate for black boys, to its still-atrocious murder rate, to its ubiquitous open-air drug bazaars, to its literally collapsing housing stock—that a neutral observer, arriving here from civilization, might regard Croyder as one of the few sane ones. We certainly do.

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BEST INSIDER PERSPECTIVE A Former Assistant State’s Attorney

the War Room”by keeping its data under wraps and failing to follow up on its recommendations in key cases, including cases in which career criminals, free on bail, committed murder. While Croyder’s attacks on Burns made news,more significant from a policy standpoint is her criticism of several judges, and of a culture and a system that fails to protect the public from violent repeat offenders. In three separate blog posts, Croyder criticized Circuit Court Judge Nathan Braverman for lowering the bail on an accused killer named Demetrius Smith, who police say executed a man named Robert Long on March 24.

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News & Media

September 17, 2008


NEWS & MEDIA

BEST POLITICIAN, GETTING THE JOB DONE MAYOR SHEILA DIXON oor Sheila Dixon. She becomes the city’s first black female mayor,cranks up some serious road fixins, gets the garbage collection and recycling righter than it’s been in years, starts cleaning up the parks, and sets the cops on an even keel so that the murder rate drops to record lows....And all anyone wants to know is,What About Those Fur Coats? C’Mon, people! She’s a normal, healthy woman, with needs like any other, and if fur coats are the worst anyone can come up with, then Dixon is way less corrupt than the average Baltimore pol! Sure, we’d all like a mayor whose ethics are as impeccable as, say, ours. But failing that, we’ll take Dixon, who actually seems to know something about getting Baltimore’s sad-sack government to do its job.

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BEST POLITICIAN, PERSONALITY BILL HENRY e can’t help it, we just like Bill Henry. The city councilman for North Baltimore’s 4th District is one those rare politicians who’s actually fun to talk to,going from pop culture to politics without missing a step.Maybe it’s his years in the theater that make him so damn affable or that big grin he always seems to have on his face.Maybe it’s his easy tell-it-like-it-is nature that allows him to explain problems in the city, and in City Hall, without making us feel like we’re taking our medicine. Or maybe, and we hope not, it’s just that with less than a year on the council, he hasn’t yet gotten beaten down and jaded. Keep smiling, Bill: City Hall could use a little good cheer.

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BEST INSIDER PERSPECTIVE: PAGE CROYDER

September 17, 2008

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NEWS & MEDIA

BEST EVA PERON IMITATION MAYOR SHEILA

lion you were trying to get from our cash-strapped city wasn’t making you any friends either. So, we know you have to settle for your $75,000 severance package—which incidentally is well over twice as much as the median household income in the city—but however wronged you were, please, pretty please, just go away.

DIXON, STARS ON PARADE hough little noticed in the media or by Baltimore citizens,a remarkable pageant took place on Dec. 7, 2007, during which city bureaus and agencies competed against one another to see who has the most school—er, city—spirit. Held on a cold and snowy day, the event demoralized some city employees,who griped that the biggest agencies—Public Works and Housing—easily overwhelmed the others in terms of their entries. (Housing built a whole house,replete with parquet floors and a chandelier, decorated with portraits of Her Honor.) Mayor Dixon then staged a parade for her review,all while telling the freezing employees that the day was for them. It was the sort of thing we’d expect to see in Venezuela today, Chile in the 1970s, or Argentina in the 1940s. Evita used to say that anyone who wasn’t a Peronist wasn’t a real Argentinian. We say anyone who isn’t a Dixonist is not a real Baltimoron.

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BEST POLITICIAN, PERSONALITY: BILL HENRY

BEST KEPT OPEN SECRET LIPSCOMB/DIXON

BEST FAILED M PARLIAMENTARY STUNT FRANK CONAWAY o one ever told Circuit Court Clerk Frank Conaway that his interpretation of state law— which appears to require that the new mayor be sworn in by him—was wrong. Conaway’s political rivals—Gov. Martin O’Malley and Mayor Sheila Dixon—simply ignored him. And there, we think, is the lesson of Baltimore. It matters not if Conaway is crazy or if Conaway is right (and if he is, then legally Dixon has never actually been the mayor). No one really cares what the law actually says. No, no—in Baltimore, it’s all about who has the power.

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ayor Sheila Dixon is a gal for all seasons: She still looks good in a bikini and likes to wear fur in the winter. And since she’s no longer married, what wealthy developer wouldn’t want to spend quality time with her? Everyone but the village idiot knew or at least suspected Dixon and Doracon Contracting founder Ronald Lipscomb had more in common than an abiding love for publicly subsidized property deals. But it took almost four years of investigating and a search-warrant affidavit that somehow got leaked to a Sun reporter to force Dixon to fess up to the affair.

BEST REEFER MADNESS IMITATION CITY COUNCILB

a City Council bill and a resolution to ban Salvia divinorum, sometimes called “diviner’s sage.”The city ordinance would have imposed a $500 fine for possession of any amount of the plant, which produces intense, short-lived hallucinations when smoked. The idea of Baltimore police running hard after a drug that a few college and high school hipsters have experimented with in basement rec rooms and dorms—while outside openair drug markets sling heroin gelcaps and ready rock—makes us horse-laugh. Fortunately,the council bill has been in committee since its introduction and appears to be headed nowhere.

ate last year, Gov. Martin O’Malley tried to pull a fast one: He tried to get legislators to pass a bill that would have cost state Superintendent of Schools Nancy Grasmick her job,an attempted coup de grace in a longstanding feud that harks back to O’Malley’s days as Baltimore mayor when Grasmick attempted to get the

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ack in January Councilwoman Belinda Conaway introduced

state to take over 11 failing city schools. But when push came to shove, O’Malley just didn’t have the political clout he needed to shove Grasmick out of the way. She went public with her thoughts on the matter, letting the media know that she intended to serve out her term despite O’Malley’s efforts and insisting that politics should not interfere with education. In the end, it became clear that O’Malley’s effort was not popular, so in February, he dropped his campaign against her,called a truce, and the two vowed to work together to improve education in the state.

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stance,and the whole city shook with anger and protests. At the time, Quarles was the 26th person to be shot and killed by Baltimore police since January 1995. So far in 2008, Baltimore police have shot and killed 12 people, with nary a peep of protest. Perhaps it’s all in the game, and we’re inured to it, so better to just carry on and be happy that murders have come down overall—even if police are killing more people to get the job done.

BEST LOCAL ISSUE WE’RE SICK OF KEVIN CLARK’S

BEST LOCAL FIRING SCANDAL COLLECTIVE APATHY L

BEST POLITICAL POWER PLAY NANCY GRASMICK B SURVIVES ATTEMPT BY MARTIN O’MALLEY TO KICK HER OUT

WOMAN BELINDA CONAWAY’S BILL TO BAN SALVIA DIVINORUM

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HOMICIDE RATE he city’s homicide rate is down, way down.We’re talking some 60 fewer homicides than last year. We’re talking about ending 2008 in the low 200s,something that hasn’t happened since 1988. It’s an especially stark contrast after the relentless blood bath that was ’07, particularly the first half when we were on pace to surpass 300 murders and many weeks saw more homicides than days. But, as the police are so fond of saying these days, we’re not declaring victory yet. (Which, by the way, is a hell of a lot better catch phrase than the one under the previous commissioner:“We can’t police our way out of this.” You’re the police, what the hell else were you going to do?) Our homicide rate may be much improved for us, but we’re still one of the most murderous cities in the country when it comes to per-capita murder rate, outstripping even our violent neighbors Washington and Philadelphia. It’s good news that the murder rate is dropping; it’ll be better news when 200 murders a year in our city of some 600,000 people is greeted with a gasp of horror, not a sigh of relief.

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INSISTING THAT HE HAS TO SWEAR IN SHEILA DIXON

BEST “GOOD NEWS” THE DROP IN THE

ack when then-City Councilman Martin O’Malley was running for mayor in 1999, he urged voters to replace with outrage the morose complacency that had gripped Baltimore in the 1990s,when simply adapting to worsening conditions had, it seemed, led to more, inevitable decline. After he won, it worked for a little while. But now it takes more to get people outraged than it did even back in the 1990s. A police officer shot and killed James Quarles III in front of Lexington Market in August 1997, for in-

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ook, we’re not denying that you were wrongfully terminated, far be it from us to quibble with the Court of Appeals. All we’re saying is it was four years ago. Get over it already. And we’re sure as hell glad that you didn’t get your job back. Sure, it might have been fun to watch you and Frederick Bealefeld play co-commissioners all Odd Couple style—Bealefeld could keep the crime rate down, while you talk about how much better everything is in New York—but crime is down and, for the first time in years, we aren’t hearing horror stories about the morale in the police department. That $120 mil-

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BEST REASON TO GET SHOT INMARYLAND BALTIMORE SHOCK TRAUMA CENTER e hear it all the time from police, paramedics, city officials, activists, shooting survivors, and anyone else who comes face to face with the real physical harm done by the violence in our city:However high the homicide rate is, if it were not for Shock Trauma it would be much higher. In addition to

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NEWS & MEDIA being the nation’s only hospital dedicated to caring for trauma patients, it is one of just three hospitals that the U.S. Air Force sends its combat surgeons to for training. One of the reasons for this is the sheer volume of cases at Shock Trauma—more than 7,000 a year. The other is the topnotch work done by the doctors there that keeps so many of Maryland’s shooting victims alive.

But even today there is nary a peep from the men and women who lived through the changes.

BEST QUESTIONABLE HIGH FIVE THE KUDOS OVER

5108 Roland Ave., (410) 3966099, rolandpark.org/ rplibrary.html

LOCKING PEOPLE UP ON PAROLE AND PROBATION VIOLATIONS

riving across the Orleans Street bridge on Route 40 takes drivers between the city’s two prison complexes, reminders that Baltimore tries to be a toughon-crime town. That message was emphasized earlier this summer for westbounders,who were greeted by a billboard of a larger-than-life Baltimore Police Department officer saying,“I Save Lives Every Day.What Do You Do? Join the Fight Against Crime.” The billboard has since been replaced, but the local constabulary’s appeal to wouldbe hires lives on as the prominently featured motto on the police department’s home page (baltimorepolice.org). The hardass image belittles a whole host of other worthy professions while directly contradicting the tragic truth that BPD has shot dead 12 people so far this year. That fact, more than any billboard or motto,sends a broad message that the BPD means business.

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on’t get us wrong, we’re all for putting dangerous criminals behind bars, and we appreciate that the city’s law enforcement agencies seem to actually be trying to do that now. We just kind of wish they were doing it by making strong cases against those criminals, instead of relying on loopholes to put people behind bars. This year the Baltimore State’s Attorney’s Office couldn’t stop crowing about its new initiative to chuck people back in jail on parole and probation violations, even if the person was not found guilty of the crime that put him or her in violation. See, the standard of proof for violating parole or probation is way lower than proving guilt in a criminal case. So, hell, why bother with pesky things like innocent until proven guilty and beyond a reasonable doubt when you can just say,“Seems likely,” and throw some handcuffs on?

BEST QUESTIONABLE BEST GAG ORDER MOVE RETIRING POLICE JENNA BUSH BRASS E

3200 Block St. Paul Street

ne has to wonder if anyone has taken the time to explain Baltimore to the Bush family. Let’s take this moment to do so. Baltimore = overwhelmingly Democratic. Baltimoreans = slightly crazy on a good day. Baltimore streets = not an easy place to blend in with an entourage of Secret Service. Put these things together and you have the makings for difficult times ahead for the daughter of history’s least popular president. But on the plus side, bar crawls in Federal Hill could get a lot more interesting.

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BEST DEVELOPMENT PROJECT THAT SHOULD BE HAPPENING BUT ISN’T THE OLMSTED ast year this stalled Streuver Bros. Eccles and Rouse project in Charles Village garnered City Paper’s coveted Best Hole in the Ground award, and nothing here is meant to say that this stretch of St. Paul Street is not still a very nice hole in the ground. It is. Unfortunately, the original plans for the site called for something else—condominiums, parking and retail space. After the oh-my-godhow-many-condominiums-dowe-really-need era crested, the focus was shifted to rental units, parking,offices,and retail space. Here’s hoping they get it started before the plan changes to Hooverville for bankrupt real estate investors (and retail space).

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1731 E. Chase St., (410) 2340660, ebdi.org

aying we maintain a healthy dose of skepticism for “urban development” would be understating the case. However, we are not averse to acknowledging “progress” when given empirical evidence. Therefore, we proudly report that actual building is indeed occurring east of Greenmount Avenue and north of the harbor. Of singular note are sharp new edifices housing the offices of East Baltimore Development Inc. (EBDI). Traveling east on Chase Street, one comes upon a shiny brick and mortar edifice that, on the scorching summer day we visited,shined like a new dime. At odds with the leveled city blocks and few modest rowhouses left standing around it—part of the massive Johns Hopkins biotech park that is EBDI’s raison d’être—the EBDI Community Resource Center boasts programs such as relocation assistance, work-force preparation, and family support. Though EBDI lists 40 full-time staff, it is unclear who inhabits this particular building (there’s also an operations center at Ashland and Rutland), and unclear from the web site which staff extensions apply to which phone number in order to access said programs. Still, with artist renderings, aerial photos, and slick animated slide shows being all we’ve had to envision a “New Eastside”thus far,real-live 3-D spaces we can Google map is “progress.”

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TOWNHOMES 1700 block of North Calvert Street, (410) 465-7300, stationnorthtownhomes.com ack in 2004 the Station North Arts and Entertainment District around Pennsylvania Station saw what the money boys called “the first signs of life” in a “blighted district.” It was Penn Lofts LLC’s plan to erect 32 town homes along the 1700 block of North Calvert Street and sell them for $500,000 each. And they did presell a bunch, it seems. But nowadays, if you want to live in one of these splendid three-story beasties with the granite and the stainless, all you have to do is rent to own at $1,600 per month ($2,000 to “build equity”).We hate to gloat, but anyone who lived or played on that block knew darn well those buildings were worth $300,000, tops. Today’s rental offer makes them a $250,000 proposition,$340,000 list price notwithstanding. Viva affordable housing!

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hile we couldn’t possibly expect most public-development projects to be funded by their users, it sure is nice when it happens. The smiles on Mayor Sheila Dixon and other city officials were especially bright on the morning of Jan. 19, when the ribbon was cut for the grand reopening of the Roland Park branch of the Enoch Pratt Free Library. The reason? The residents of the neighborhood, through the nonprofit Roland Park Library Initiative, raised more than $2 million for the renovation and addition. And the results are beautiful, adding a bit of,but not too much, modern to the drive down Roland Avenue. And the inside is even nicer, with double the space of the old library, an outdoor plaza and terrace, and a quiet room worth studying in even if you’re not in school anymore.

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lvin Brunson devoted his life to the cause of revitalizing Pennsylvania Avenue and drawing people back to the neighborhood’s rich musical and cultural heritage. A historian and activist, Brunson also built with his own hands an addition to his home, and was trying to rebuild the house across the street into a museum when it collapsed on him and killed himon March 30. That house, at 562 Wilson St., was technically owned by the city of Baltimore when it collapsed,although the nightmare story underlying that fact—a decade-long tale of tax liens, lawsuits, water bills, and red tape—can only serve as a cautionary tale for anyone else who wants to try to bring back the city.

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ight years ago or so, retiring Baltimore City police commanders were given a choice: agree to say nothing publicly about any police or city policy matter—including the gag order itself—or lose their accrued compensatory time. It was a brilliant policy change by the new mayor, Martin O’Malley. Faced with a dysfunctional police force in need of serious housecleaning, the fresh-faced mayor with a reputation for progressive and innovative thinking could implement his plans without criticism from formerly high-ranking people who actually know something about police work. As history has shown, O’Malley’s plans fell far short of his promises.

BEST PART BEST CRUSHING OF THE EAST-SIDE BUREAUCRATIC DEVELOPMENT NIGHTMARE THE DEATH OF ALVIN SO FAR K. BRUNSON EAST BALTIMORE BEST SYMBOL DEVELOPMENT INC. OF THE HOUSING A COMMUNITY RESOURCE CENTER BUBBLE STATION NORTH

562 Wilson St. took Brunson’s money, then it broke his leg. Brunson never stopped dreaming of greatness though, until the house took his life.

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Visit the table FOR PATRICIA JONES

GET ALL THESE BOOKS AND A SPECIAL GIFT FOR $12! AT THE BALTIMORE BOOK FAIR September 26, 2008; 5PM - 9 PM September 27, 2008; 11AM - 9 PM PATRICIA JONES, AUTHOR OF “PASSING�, “RED ON A ROSE�, AND “THE COLOR OF FAMILY� Patricia Jones, a Baltimore native, grew up in Baltimore with a love for traveling, which was developed while a student at Lemmel Jr. High and curiosity for life which she honed in her many writings.

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Patricia survived childhood Hodgkins Disease and later after the birth of her daughter, Breast Cancer. Unfortunately, Patricia did not survive a second bout with Breast cancer and died at the age of 42 of recurrent Breast Cancer.

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Her family continues to promote and sell her books as a way of keeping her memory alive and preserving her legacy for her daughter, Alexandra Bacchus, now 13 years old. More information about Patricia and her many accomplishments while battling 3 bouts with Cancer, can be found on her web site:

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BEST FINEBEST NEW AVOIDANCE PUBLIC SERVANT ANDRES ALONSO STRATEGY THE CITY FAILING TO

want to be,so there’s an Academy for College and Career Exploration.We are truly thrilled that Baltimore’s public school students have opportunities like these and, when given half a chance, can have something worthwhile to believe in—namely, themselves.

City Schools CEO

t’s ingenious, really. Hold the city responsible for reporting any failures in its obligation to keep sewage from surface waters draining to the Chesapeake Bay, and then reward the city with fines based on the city’s estimate of the amount of sewage that leaked. That’s the way a Clean Water Act agreement between the city of Baltimore, the Maryland Department of the Environment, and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency was worked out earlier this decade, and not surprisingly, the city is now admitting that it may well have lowballed its sewer-overflow reporting. Trying to calculate fines not paid due to past selfreporting failures would be exceedingly difficult, so the city is likely off the hook financially for leaks not reported or underestimated. Now that the city plans to pay up properly on this front, look for the fines to increase. But hey, it worked for a while.

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BEST BELT TIGHTENING BALTIMORE CITY COMMUNITY COLLEGE NOT PAYING ADJUNCT TEACHERS imes are tough, and budgets don’t get any tighter than in public education. So why not stop paying part-time community college teachers? That’s what Baltimore City Community College did, for months, until a few brave teachers stood up and complained loud enough for a reporter to hear. Even after the cat was out of the bag, BCCC officials were protective of their brilliant innovation. Who could blame them? Think of all the cash they were saving by depriving an entire department of fashion design teachers a living wage for weeks on end. They even fired one teacher who had the audacity to complain at a public meeting. Now that’s protecting your enterprise.

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e’re suckers for a Spanish accent, especially when it heralds good news from a shadowy dominion like the Baltimore City Public School System. And it’s not just a deep Latinophile streak in our makeup that chokes us up every time Andres Alonso speaks about his vision for Baltimore schools (“We need an entire system of [great schools]. But we cannot build that system by making excuses or maintaining the status quo.”) or his experiences educating children in poverty (“I taught students who were emotionally disturbed and learning English as a second language. . . . And I felt a deep responsibility to them—just as I do here, now.”). What starts the waterworks is the injection of responsibility into the vocabulary of our schools, the resounding confirmation that our children deserve justice, and the possibility that this man might just deliver us from our crimes against the innocent. Buena suerte, Sr. Alonso, y gracias al Dios!

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BEST ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK CITY SCHOOLS

RACINO IN CARROLLCAMDEN INDUSTRIAL AREA he only big-city gambling emporium on the East Coast, replete with table games, slot machines, sports betting, and horse racing, all located conveniently just off I-95 in the heart of Baltimore, with topflight hotels and major-league stadiums right next door!”That could’ve been the hook for the TV spot about the future of gambling in Maryland, and it would’ve hit all the high points. Competitive advantage over neighboring states,which don’t have table games? Check. Hope for the self-destructing horseracing industry in Maryland? Check. Buttressing Baltimore’s existing tourism economy? Check. Productive use of relatively unproductive land sitting on a major transportation hub? Check. Huge cash infusions for the community chest? Check. Too good an idea to actually happen in Maryland? Check to that, too. If the current slots referendum fails in November,maybe this idea will go back up on the drawing board.

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BEST NEW PUBLIC SERVANT: ANDRES ALONSO

BEST PROOF THAT BEST PLANS NORTH AVENUE IS FOR THE SCHOOL GETTING MORE SYSTEM HIGH SCHOOL HANDS-ON ACADEMIES MAKING A SCHOOL or as long as we can remember the North Avenue school headquarters building has been synonymous with fat-cat administrators collecting juicy salaries while our schools starved. But schools CEO Andres Alonso turned that on its head.He eliminated 310 administrative jobs, and in the space left open is creating the Success Academy to help students on long-term suspension or expulsion transition back to their regular schools and provide some of the special services they need. No more will our school system leave these kids to fend for themselves, and no longer will the people who run our school system be able to forget whom it is they work for.

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dmittedly, the arcane language of the Baltimore City Public School System’s annual reports, master plans, and other documents describing programs for improving student performance and enriching school-community partnerships may not make for thrilling summer reading. Still, there’s some juicy stuff, namely a citywide effort to transform public high schools from test-taking warehouses into specialized academies of vocational and academic concentration. High school students in Baltimore can now choose an academy (often located in an existing school building, yet managed by its own administrative staff) with life after graduation in mind, and apply on the basis of their merit and occupational goals,rather than their address. A kid who wants to start a business might choose the Institute of Business and Entrepreneurship. A student interested in the medical field can consider the Vivien T.Thomas Medical Arts Academy. Maybe just out of middle school, children don’t know what they

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aryland School Assessment test scores rise in the city, especially in its middle schools, but a high school art teacher is beat up by a female student— and it’s caught on cell-phone camera. The school system sets up a volunteer system and hundreds immediately sign up, but a high school art teacher is beat up by a female student—and it’s caught on cell-phone camera. Schools CEO Andres Alonso is generally seen as the city’s finest superintendent in a generation, but a high school art teacher is beat up by a female student—and it’s caught on cell-phone camera.

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horse-drawn carts, are pretty much nowhere to be seen these days. Why? The city kicked a whole slew of them out of their city-owned Retreat Street stables late last year and condemned the building for safety violations. The city promised to find the people and ponies new digs,but kept shuffling the horses around to temporary (and inconvenient) locations. These days the horses are living in a temporary tent on Monroe Street in West Baltimore, but the city has backed off on its promise to help the arabbers find a permanent home. So not many arabbers can be seen on the streets of Baltimore these days—in fact, we’d be hardpressed to say the last time we saw one at all.

BEST PLACE TO BE ABALTIMORE FEDERAL CITY SNITCH ow ironic that the home of the Stop Fuckin’ Snitching DVDs is the ultimate haven for federal informants. Ask a federal judge and he or she might let you in on Baltimore’s dirty little secret: The feds are virtually powerless without their snitches, who usually are criminals themselves, which makes the eternal synergy between cops and bad guys all the more, um, eternal. So, when you read about shocking patterns of criminal conduct by people who seem above the law, or if one guy gets sentenced to prison time in federal court while his accomplice cries like a baby and gets probation, feel free to ask yourself, Is this guy a federal snitch? After all, the best explanation often is the one that makes the most sense. In Baltimore, you just might have him or her pegged.

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BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH THOSE ANNOYING BEST PONY-POWERED BACKGROUND PRODUCE CHECK DEPARTMENT OF PEDDLERS JUVENILE SERVICES KICK ’EM OUT OF SECRETARY DON THEIR STABLES ho knew it’d be that easy to do away with a decadesold way of life? Arabbers, the city’s once-ubiquitous entrepreneurs who eke out a living selling fruits and veggies from the back of brightly colored

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DEVORE ON CHRIS “THE COLONEL” PERKINS ho knew? Who knew that the man tapped by Don Devore to oversee all state ju-

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NEWS & MEDIA

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Problematic Use Of Energy Drinks? Seeking research interviews with Children or Adolescents and their parents.

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BEST POSTER CHILD FOR BALTIMORE’S SHADOW ECONOMY: SHAWN MICHAEL GREEN venile detention facilities had been accused of child abuse in Montana, to the point that advocates were calling for criminal charges? Devore couldn’t have known, unless he checked, because in Chris Perkins’ mind, nothing bad ever happened, so there was nothing to disclose,see? Devore is that rare official who looks at vetting and sees nothing but red tape and the potential for sticky situations. Best to forge ahead with a wink and a nod as if to say, “We’re cool, right?�

BEST MONEY LAUNDERING SCAM FAKE AUTO LIENS echnically, buying a used car with drug cash, taking out a fake loan and allowing the car dealer to record a fake lien, is a form of car insurance. If the cops bust the drug trafficker and seize his car, the car dealer can assert the lien and repossess the car, to be sold back to the drug dealer. But it’s a crucial aspect of one of Baltimore’s largest industries: drug-money laundering. And it’s even better that Maryland

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September 17, 2008

laws, written by defense lawyers, create gaping loopholes for drug dealers and sleazy car dealers to drive through. So when you see a late-model used Lexus or BMW for sale, with a ridiculously high interest rate at some sketchy car dealership,be sure to kick more than the tires, in case the feds (and the drug dealer who used to drive that car) missed something.

BEST NE’ER-DO-WELL JOSE J. MORALES JR. ast fall, Jose Morales was threatening witnesses, delaying court dates, and ripping off customers of his bogus mason business with impunity. Today he is facing federal drugtrafficking charges after getting busted in a tiny Texas airport with six kilos of cocaine and $23,000 in cash for a chartered jet. This is not necessarily a fall from grace, though. Morales has slipped the bonds of justice for years, and the death of his co-defendant just 13 days after he agreed to testify against Morales in state theft cases did not perturb Morales a bit. Time will tell if Morales’mys-

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Aces came back to life after Milton Tillman Jr. got out of prison for tax evasion in the early 2000s, and the rest is history that’s still being written. The business, and others related to it, took off by undercutting the competition and ended up with most of the bail-writing pie in Baltimore City. Then Tillman and Co. last fall faced a criminal trial over questionable bail-writing activities, and a city jury acquitted the lot of them. So the businesses continued to boom—and may still be, despite federal raids in August of locations used by Tillman’s businesses, including bail-bond offices. Whether his political ties can help him weather the current storm remains to be seen,but for those in need of bail, ties to Tillman are just the ticket to getting back on the streets.

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NEWS & MEDIA

BEST POSTER CHILD FOR BALTIMORE’S SHADOW ECONOMY SHAWN MICHAEL GREEN eldom is a city’s most entrenched problem, its signature curse, embodied in one person. But in Shawn Green, the failed mortgage broker, record producer, clothes retailer, and federal fugitive drug trafficker, you’ve got it all. Without drug money and phony fronts, there is no Baltimore outside the Inner Harbor, an inconvenient truth that extends all the way to white-collar professions such as law and mortgage lending.Green used a white female lawyer and her exboyfriend broker to launder his drug money through luxury home purchases in the name of—get this—his own mother. Then, he fled and left her holding the bag. Now if that doesn’t sum up the lowly nature of the shadow economy of Baltimore, nothing does.

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BEST REFORMED GANGSTER LITTLE MELVIN WILLIAMS t’s a familiar tale,the reformed gangster. Usually this not-sorare bird surfaces in publicly funded youth services contracts. With Correct Choices Inc.,a nonprofit set up using The Wire cocreator Ed Burns’name without his knowledge, former drug

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BEST LOCAL MAGAZINE: URBANITE

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kingpin Little Melvin Williams is no different.But he took it further,getting cast as “the Deacon” in the award-winning HBO show that purported to blow the lid off all things corrupt in B-more. Art imitating life? Hardly.When police caught Williams apparently offering a drug dealer tips on money laundering,Williams dismissed a reporter’s questions and dubbed himself a “worldclass gambler.”

BEST PUBLIC INFORMATION OFFICER MARCIA MURPHY et’s face it: In the spoon-fed media age, flacks make the world go round. But if there’s one public information officer whom even investigative journalists can respect, it’s Marcia Murphy of the Maryland U.S. Attorney’s Office. Not that Murphy’s a pushover, but she returns calls and makes an effort to actually provide public information, as opposed to avoiding probing reporters and their questions. She’s pleasant yet firm, and she might even tell you something you didn’t already know, if it is public information and helpful to your story. Plus, she is recognized in her own office as a standout employee.Some flacks can please their bosses and garner respect among the working press, too.

BEST FLACK MARGARET BURNS

BEST REFORMED GANGSTER: LITTLE MELVIN WILLIAMS

altimore State’s Attorney’s Office spokeswoman Margaret Burns’job has traditionally been fairly simple: divert attention away from the failures of State’s Attorney Patricia Jessamy and focus it on the failures of the Baltimore Police Department, which then focuses it back on Jessamy. In the end nobody gets blamed and pretty much everybody keeps their jobs. It’s a good system, and everyone’s been well-served by it (unless you count the actual citizens of Baltimore, but most of us are too busy being arrested

B

ters Sam Zell and the Tribune Co., we see less substance, less attention to local news, and, in general, less to read. The Examiner may not have some of the stuff the Sun has—the Pulitzers, the fancy new redesign, the insights of “innovation”expert Lee Abrams—but it does have what we want: Local news. Lots of it. Covered in a straightforward, diligent fashion. Which is why, more and more often, it’s the paper we turn to when we want to know what’s going on in and around town.

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BEST BUSINESS PLAN SAM ZELL/ TRIBUNE CO. HASE 1: Gut The Baltimore Sun, put out free daily newspaper for demographic that doesn’t read newspapers. PHASE 2: ??? PHASE 3: Profit

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BEST LOCAL BEST LOCAL MAGAZINE NEWSPAPER URBANITE THE EXAMINER or shot at to raise much of a fuss). It’s a mystery, then, why Burns decided to depart from the script in an interview with the Daily Record’s Exhibit A publication, in which she talked smack not about the cops but the victim of a serious assault,Zach Sowers. Sowers,who was beaten so badly he went into a coma and then died in March, has gotten more ink than the Lindbergh baby kidnapping. In her interview with Exhibit A, Burns said Sowers looked like a “sleeping baby” when he arrived at the hospital and accused Sowers’ widow, Anna, who has become one of the most visible and outspoken anticrime activists in the city, of being a liar. Burns says she was misquoted, thus allowing her boss to dodge the issue by saying she’s afraid of being further misunderstood.Which is a little like yelling fire in a crowded theater, then blaming the resultant confusion on the megaphone you were using.

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e remember what Urbanite used to be like—all blue-sky stories about nice people doing nice things and how nice the city’s future could be if people would just get with the program. It was . . . nice. But not terribly exciting. These days, though, the magazine has grown—both in page count and in editorial focus.It still explores the good stuff in Baltimore, but its coverage is more well-rounded and realistic. Stories about green-energy initiatives and local foodies share space with think pieces on AfricanAmerican leadership, urban wildlife, and architectural preservation. The stories are Baltimore-centric without being too parochial,and smart without being smarty-pants. Every month Urbanite tackles a new theme—true stories, the power issue, the creature issue, the privacy issue—and every month,we find ourselves compelled to pore through it,from the contributors’ page and editor’s note to the artsy closing shot just inside the back cover.

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re you surprised we selected The Examiner, the paper considered by many to be the “junior” daily in Baltimore, as Best Local Newspaper? You shouldn’t be. As The Baltimore Sun downsizes (we keep forgetting, that should be “right sizes”) under corporate mas-

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BEST FORMER SUN REPORTER DOUG DONOVAN eriously, when you have a reporter like Doug Donovan working at your paper, how do you let him slip away? Yeah, we know, the Tribune Co. has mandated that managers at its var-

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BEST LOCAL NEWSPAPER: THE EXAMINER

September 17, 2008


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medication? Call the Maryland AIDS Drug Assistance Program (MADAP) for information on our pharmacy and insurance assistance programs.

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FWPc PaT h^d fPXcX]V U^a. 9>8= C>30H Outdoor Fitness Camp at Meadowood Regional Park

410-371-4466

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An Interfaith Dialogue Breaking Down Barriers: Christians & Muslims Forge Bonds Through Faith

Dr. Daniel Migliore

Princeton Theol. Seminary

Imam Yahya Hendi Georgetown University

Sunday, September 28 at 3:30 p.m. Free & Open to the Public Second Presbyterian Church 4200 St. Paul Street Baltimore, 21218 Phone: 410.467.4210 MADAP is a program of the Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, AIDS Administration. C I T Y P A P E R B E S T O F B A LT I M O R E 2 0 0 8

www.secondpresby.org September 17, 2008


Who Dunnit? Day September 20th noon-4 pm A crime has been committed in one of the Science Center’s exhibits. Using the same processes real-life crime solvers use every day you become the detective. All activities free with paid admission.

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RETAIL THERAPY at its best

Tuesday, October 14 7:00 p.m. tickets are $10 including cocktail reception

The Very Best Sour Beef in Town

Wednesday, October 22 Dinner 4 p.m. – 7 p.m. Thursday, October 23 11 a.m. – 2 p.m. Adults $ 12.50 Children $ 6.50 Beer Hall in the Adlersaal from 4 p.m. – 9 p.m. on both days

Candles in the Window

Play by Kathleen Ann Thompson based on the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer Wednesday, October 29 7:30 p.m. $ 10.00 per person / $ 5.00 student discount

Come to the Sugarloaf Crafts Festival to relieve your stress, forget politics and interact with hundreds of caring artists.

Lutherfest Sunday, November 9 7 p.m. – 9 p.m. Woes, Worries, Wine Featuring Food, Drink and Entertainment $ 10.00 per person

Find unique gifts Shop with friends Sample specialty foods Enjoy children’s shows Leave refreshed

Christkindlmarkt Authentic German Christmas Market Saturday, November 29 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Sunday, November 30 12 p.m. – 4 p.m. Donation of $ 2.00 will admit one adult

PAGE 58

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Show info & exhibitor lists Directions and more at:

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NEWS & MEDIA

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BEST REASON TO DIE IN BALTIMORE: AN OBIT BY FREDERICK RASMUSSEN stir shit up? Well, you’re probably right. What the hell do you think a blog is for, anyway?

BEST BALTIMORERELATED WEB SITE BALTIMORESUN.COM

BEST CIVILIZED BLOG P YOU DON’T SAY weblogs.baltimoresun.com/ news/mcintyre/blog

oth the Sun and Examiner have flooded the internet with blogs— too many, really, to read them all. But one we always make time for is Sun copy desk chief John E. McIntyre’s You Don’t Say. McIntyre, who also teaches at Loyola College, writes with wit,erudition,and conciseness about subjects—grammar, editing, the newspaper business—that could easily put one to sleep. That he does so without hectoring or prescriptivism (look it up) is just one bonus. McIntyre, while a traditionalist, knows that language and its rules evolve, and sometimes quickly so. But the real reason for visiting this Kentucky-born gentleman’s blog is to learn how to do important stuff, like tying a bow tie (a May 29 video entry), cooking Cincinnati chili (July 24), and, most importantly, making a martini (July 2, also a video). If only the rest of the web was so civilized.

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September 17, 2008

oke around Baltimoresun.com for an hour and you’ll find the mark of the city, its moods twisting like so many threads of anonymous rants. You’ll find good web-only content, such as the documentary videos that sometimes accompany stories, and a blog lineup that doesn’t cast too wide a net. We read, among others, the Real Estate Wonk,InsideEd,Gospelrama, Bill Ordine’s sports blog and Elizabeth Large’s restaurant coverage in our daily routine. The Maryland news section is an important feed in our RSS reader. And often, we find ourselves reading all the story comments. Indeed, despite the turmoil of the past year, the Sun’s web site is still required browsing.

BEST WI-FI HOTSPOT THE MOUNT ROYAL TAVERN 1204 W. Mount Royal Ave., (410) 669-6686 othing says you’re working like a ’net-connected laptop, turned on in front of you, right out there in public. It’s a totem of your productivity, a sign of your dedica-

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tion to society’s larger goals,a manifestation of your never-ending pursuit of more instant knowledge. In certain circumstances, it’s also a powerful counterweight to the impression left by the other items within your reach: a can of Natty Boh, a large shot of Pikesville rye whiskey, and a mug of coffee.At the Mount Royal Tavern on a Sunday afternoon, the laptop unapologetically declares that you work, you party, and today you’re doing both.

BEST LOCAL YOUTUBE CLIP BALTIMORE COPS VS. www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G gWrV8TcUc obody seems to know who invented the skateboard, but it’s a pretty safe bet that whoever it was, The Man was there in a flash to tell him to take it elsewhere. It’s a hard-wired response. There’s something dark and primitive about the shape of the thing that gets authority figures going the way sharks will go after a surfboard. Some people may have seen the videotaped interaction between city police officer Salvatore Rivieri and 14-yearold skater Eric Bush and thought it was as simple as one cop overP A P E R

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reacting, but skaters and students of animal behavior know better. When the officer bellows and pushes the young man to the ground, the lizard-brain has taken over— there was blood in the water, your honor, and that goddamn thing looked just like a bull seal. It’s probably not fair to make Rivieri the stand-in for the abuse suffered by skaters at the hands of cops, principals, mall security, and anybody else with a little authority and a lot of time on their hands, but let’s face it, for three minutes and 39 second at the Inner Harbor,he wore it proudly . . . dude.

BEST TV COMMERCIAL EASTERN MOTORS

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Try alternative modes of transportation to get to work. Transit, carpooling, vanpooling, walking and bicycling are all quick, easy and economical ways to get to work.

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410-396-POOL (7665) or visit www.baltimorecity.gov/government/transportation

-?Q 8ILE $>A? Diversity • Humanism Community • Equality

Act so as to bring out the best in others, thereby bringing out the best in yourself. Join us each Sunday at 10:30 a.m. for talks and discussion on ethical living, philosophy, current events, and personal and spiritual growth. We also provide humanist weddings, commitment ceremonies & Sunday School.

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For more information, call BES at 410-581-2322 or visit www.BaltimoreEthicalSociety.org September 17, 2008


W W W . Y O U T U B E . C O M / W A T C H ? V = 9 G G W R V 8 T C U C

NEWS & MEDIA

BEST LOCAL YOUTUBE CLIP: BALTIMORE COPS VS. SKATEBOARDER and trucks, SUVs, are you listening, man?” And when they roll into the different types of wheels they have at the ready for you, just because you punch in and out five days a week, it gets real funky, like addictive advertising should.

BEST TV NEWSCAST EYEWITNESS NEWS AT 6 6 P.M., WJZ-TV Channel 13 e can’t tell you exactly why we settled in on TV 13 to watch some evening news. But we can tell you why we continue to watch it: It is the least annoying presentation in a field full of irritating clichés, be it stand-up “on the scene”reporters standing outdoors in front of some building or location significant most of the time sim-

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September 17, 2008

ply because it is outside the television studio, or sweeps-week “investigations”on bottled water or the garbage/drugs/horrible things your child is eating/enjoying/doing when you’re not around. Local television news is a joke, industry, and public service all rolled up into one, and we’ve found the 6 P.M. helping of WJZ-TV’s newsload to be the most acceptable and least eye roll-inducing,with lead anchors Denise Koch and Vic Carter riding the often ridiculous carnival ride with all the dignity they can muster.

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tensity, but in the vagaries of the sometimes just plain silly local news environment,it communicates seriousness and a respect for his audience. So back to you, Vic.

WJZ-TV Channel 13 ic Carter reads the damn news. Straight, no chaser, none of that happy news-face/sad newsface, just Game Face, and we dig that about him. When he comes on at 6 P.M. with Denise Koch, all he does is speak the News,straightforward and unassuming,and the best part about it is that almost perpetual, patented Vic Carter news-scowl. Sure, it has variations of in-

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BEST TV NEWS REPORTER ROB ROBLIN AND TIM TOOTEN ob Roblin or Tim Tooten. Rob Roblin or Tim Tooten. When WBAL-TV is presenting us with two nearly perfect candidates

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for an award, how can we possibly pick just one? On one hand you’ve got reporter Rob Roblin: a seasoned professional whom we see time and time again toughing it out,live on the scene in the harshest of weather conditions. Whether he’s soaked to the bone in a torrential downpour, or mustache deep in a snowdrift, his dedication to keeping us up to date on what’s going down in our city is second to none. Also, his name is super fun to say. On the other hand you’ve got Tim Tooten, who is also a hard-working dedicated individual out on the street paying his dues. Tim

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W B A L - T V

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BEST TV NEWS REPORTER: ROB ROBLIN AND TIM TOOTEN Tooten is one of Baltimore’s few education reporters. He’s very active in his community, and he presents the news with the honesty and matter-of-fact demeanor of a trusted friend. His name is also super fun to say. Here’s to you Rob Roblin and Tim Tooten. Rob Roblin and Tim Tooten.

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BEST LOCAL RADIO PERSONALITY GARY VIKAN e’re suckers for Baltimore history, no matter how obscure— come to think of it, the obscurer the better. And we’re double-plus suckers for soothing radio voices that remind us of being read bedtime stories as a kid. So, is it any wonder that we are huge fans of

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Walters Art Museum director Gary Vikan and his Postcards From the Walters segments on WYPR-FM? Vikan doesn’t give us stodgy art history lessons—no, he relates stories full of mystery, intrigue, and Baltimore ephemera that happen to focus on works of art at his museum, from possible fakes to masterworks found under years of grime and water damage. He gives us a view of the museum’s namesakes that reminds us that William and Henry Walters were actual people, and eccentric ones at that.

But most of all Vikan, teaches us every week that the story of a work of art doesn’t end when the painter finishes the last stroke. Often,that’s just the beginning.

BEST LOCAL SPORTSCASTER JOE ANGEL T

here are some of us out there who don’t have cable. It’s true. So

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NEWS & MEDIA we rely on the old, traditional medium of baseball: radio. Now,we were a little concerned about O’s games moving to the FM dial last year—AM is the purist’s choice. So to make up for it, we listen to games on an old ’60s radio, and it sounds as it should. The medium may be the message here, but the voice of Joe Angel ringing out on that old radio makes listening to our pseudo-retro ball games pleasurable. He makes masterful descriptions of plays,has pitch-perfect timing, and offers expert analysis—he’s not averse to ripping the O’s a new one for sloppy base running, distracted fielding, or awful pitching, the banes of the 2008 season— but he praises when praise is due. And then there are the puns. Angel is the consummate cornball, unafraid to utter the most ridiculous groaner. Sometimes he seems a little high on himself, or perhaps ribs his comrade Fred “Big Boy” Manfra a little much, but hey, he’s that rare combination— an entertaining baseball announcer who actually knows what he’s talking about and isn’t afraid to rub the franchise the wrong way.

nancial weakness, even as Steiner himself continued to collect his six figures.

BEST PLACE TO LAND ON YOUR FEET WEAA (88.9 FM) arc Steiner got canned by WYPR and now he’s on drive time at WEAA. Anthony McCarthy got sacked as Sheila Dixon’s spokesman and now he’s on WEAA’s airwaves every Friday morning. Hell, if Brian Billick hadn’t picked up a commentating job on Fox, he’d probably have a show there, too. Of course, the real question is, will people who practically have 88.1 tattooed on their radio displays move .8 spaces over to listen to Steiner and McCarthy’s Act 2’s?

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thepetitionsite.com/1/bringmarc-steiner-back-to-wypr arc Steiner’s sudden removal from his on-air role at WYPR-FM sparked petitions, demonstrations, and angstridden public meetings in which Steiner’s bête noire, WYPR executive director Anthony Brandon,was rhetorically flogged and burned in effigy. The Steinerites had a point about the process by which Steiner was removed from the airwaves (if not the payroll), and they were right to say that Steiner’s lefty-progressive subject matter would not likely be duplicated by any new host.But then they threatened to withhold their dollars, and that moved them onto Brandon’s playing field. “No Marc, No Money” was a clever slogan that conceded the very point the Steinerites were ostensibly protesting, and when the station’s fundraising remained steady it proved the movement’s fi-

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(88.1 FM) here’s not a whole lot of variation in talk radio: You have your right-wing talk shows, your left-wing talk shows, your civilized NPR commentators, and your loudmouth mainstream commentators. Which is why we appreciate The Signal. It doesn’t talk at us and try to change our minds. It doesn’t make our blood boil with partisan rhetoric or make us cringe over bad jokes. Instead, it tells us stories that provoke or inspire, presents snapshots of people and places that illustrate the quirky, delightful,frustrating,sad,pleasant, and infuriating things about living in this city.

BEST RADIO STATION FOR TALK WOLB (1010 AM)

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We d n e s day D i va N ite 9PM - 1AM Videos, Movies & Music Feat: Cher, Madonna, Etc.

ANTI-WAR DEMONSTRATIONS

BEST NON-MUSIC A RADIO SHOW THE SIGNAL, WYPR

T BEST LOST CAUSE BRING BACK MARC STEINER MOVEMENT

Balentine’s show, which consistently offers quality discussion, skeptical of what the mainstream media regurgitates as fact, in his call-in programming. But what really sets WOLB apart is its local programming, from the Larry Young morning show to the various talk shows that run through everything from local news and politics to health and wellness issues that impact the African-American community. WOLB more than lives up to its motto that “Information is power.”

t rush hour on any given Friday along some of the city’s main thoroughfares (York Road, 41st, North Charles, and 33rd streets) one can witness the unfailing commitment of Baltimoreans to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan by holding HONK FOR PEACE signs and smiling to passing drivers (some of whom honk). As the debt-soaked mind’s eye turns further inward toward closer-to-home realities, a mounting death toll,record-breaking numbers of traumatic injury survivors,and still uglier truths of prolonged armed conflict can get lost in the shuffle of overdue bills and scratch-offs. Not so for these fine folks. Every week, without fail, rain or shine, they stand by the roadside forcing us to admit that our effete attentions do not excuse our selfish distractions. These good people give us pause, and honking is the absolute least we can do.

P i a n o P l ay e r s Thursday 8 :30PM - 12 :30AM Friday & Saturday 5 :30PM - 12 :30AM

Private Parties Available Happy Hour Monday - Saturday 4PM - 8 :30PM $1 .75 Domestic Draft | $1 .50 Coors Light $2 .75 Rails

his Baltimore sister station to the Radio One-owned Washington station WOL gets our vote for carrying two of the more lively syndicated talk shows in the nation: Keeping it Real with Rev. Al Sharpton and truth fighter Warren

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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

Goods & Services BEST SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT The Quinntessential Gentleman Offers a Retro Sharp Experience BY JESS HARVELL

Polished wood everywhere; TV-equipped barber chairs more comfy than your couch; framed prints and photos depicting men among other men during manlier eras; barbers of both sexes in ties or dresses; BYOB service where clients can bring a bottle of the expensive tipple of their choice and even leave it for future visits; a pool table; top-shelf cigars; imported grooming products, and other masculine accessories for sale; private rooms for massages and mani/pedicures; Rat Pack crooners piped in through the sound system. It’s overwhelming, in a good way, at least if you share Martin’s love for an idealized past. “I’ve always had this weird excitement for nostalgia,” Martin says of the shop’s throwback appeal. A Baltimore resident for the last 12 years, Martin, 36, is too young to have experienced the midcentury barbershops he idolizes, but he’s certainly devoted to their out-of-time style. On a late August morning as the shop quietly hums in preparation for the first client of the day, the only things that distract from his top-to-toe re-creation

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of a snappily dressed businessman circa-1955 are his cell phone and his orange socks. Martin says he had no real previous barbering experience when he first dreamed up the Quinntessential Gentleman idea almost a decade ago. (The shop itself opened in 2005.) Instead, he had a father and a grandfather who instilled an appreciation for the values of an older generation, hair-related and otherwise. Martin’s attempt to bring those values into the 21st century has apparently paid off;despite initially having to acclimate customers to the idea of a high-end barber, he says his client list now numbers around 5,000, after almost three years of steady growth. Trained in the neglected art of straight-razor shaving—as well as scalp manipulation, massage, and other male enhancements—Martin’s team is dedicated to going beyond the perfunctory trim their clients would get from a chain shop staffed with recent barber-college graduates. Martin describes his ideal client as the sort of young go-getter who’s

scored his first serious job and needs to suddenly look spiffy; at the same time, his list of regulars includes at least one nonagenarian. “I placed [the shop] to cater to busy people that can walk here, that can relax here during the day,”Martin says of QG’s location amid

amenities, ranging from a $10 beard trim to an $80 deep-tissue massage,seems upscale to those of us who grew up in an era when haircuts were swift and brutal affairs, Martin only seeks to redress what he sees as the degradation of the modern assembly-line

“I’ve always had this weird excitement for nostalgia.” a sea of financial institutions and law firms. For those not employed in the banking or legal industries, Quinntessential Gentleman might seem like bit of a luxury as a twicemonthly routine.But a standard haircut at QG will only run you $25 before tip;that’s about a sawbuck more than a cut at many other barbershops. (And how many of those shops offer you a complimentary beer when you walk in?) If QG’s list of C I T Y

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barbershop with a careful attention to vintage techniques and attentive service. As for the quality of Quinntessential’s technique: Thanks to male-pattern baldness, my haircuts for the last five years have been administered with a disposable razor. Quinntessential’s straightrazor shave, however, kinda makes me long for the disposable income that would allow me to go un-

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der the blade every few days. The whole process— warm lather, oils to make the blade swipe smoothly across the skin, and multiple applications of hot towels—has an attention to detail that you may more readily associate with a salon,even if QG’s vibe is more dude than day spa. And the cost—$50 for the entire head—was an affordable one-off splurge for the cashstrapped. A friend of mine still blessed with a full head of hair—who came along as guinea pig for his own shave and trim—judged the shop’s scissor-work to be excellent, noting the strand-bystrand care taken to assure everything was even. (It should be noted he’s also more infatuated with the neat-and-clean Ocean’s 11 -era than I am, but that just might be bald man’s jealousy.) Juiced on QG’s level of skill and service, all for $10 more than he normally spends at the barber, he joked that he might now have to get his hair cut on something resembling a regular schedule. That’s a pretty good advertisement for any barbershop in these tonsorially challenged times.

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F YOU’RE THE KIND OF TWENTY- OR THIRTYSOMETHING GUY who still takes most of his styling tips from the slovenly ’90s, then walking into the Quinntessential Gentleman barbershop may fill your shaggy head with awe. Located on a block of Calvert Street near the Inner Harbor that feels half-empty even at midday, owner Craig Martin’s monument to men’s grooming seems a strange neighbor for Quiznos and the Current Gallery alike. It’s a tear that opened in the space-time continuum and dropped a vintage high-end ’50s barbershop among the downtown bail-bonds joints and greasy spoons. Starting with the working shoeshine stand in the foyer, the retro-meets-modern styling seeps from every fixture in the two-floor shop.

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GOODS & SERVICES

BEST WOMEN’S CLOTHING DOUBLEDUTCH BOUTIQUE 3616 Falls Road, (410) 5540055, doubledutch boutique.com ozily unpretentious with a robin’s egg blue interior and clean,understated window displays—better to showcase each season’s loveliest dress and handbag combo—this 2-yearold shop’s clothes and accessories strike a rare balance between playful and sophisticated, retro and modern. Doubledutch’s crowning glory is the selection of dresses from topnotch indie designers: gorgeously femme but with a wearable pragmatism the scrubbiest of tomboys can appreciate. Casual pieces stand out, too, like the supersoft T-shirts from Alternative Apparel,which couple subtle details, such as gently puffed sleeves and scooping necklines, with a flattering cut. Particularly irresistible are the cluster of accessories tables teeming with affordable impulse buys like necklaces dangling wee golden roller-skate charms and fully functional whistles. Then, there’s the bigticket indulgences worth blowing your rent on,like the Beck(y) line of fierce handbags carved from authentically thrashed, salvaged skateboard decks.

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BEST MEN’S CLOTHING STORE GIAN MARCO

tweed coats, subtle plaid caps, suede boots, and driving gloves are investment pieces meant to take an important place in your annual wardrobe. We also buy clothes at Gap and H&M, but we don’t spend a lot of time doing it; Gian Marco makes us slow down and appreciate the details.

BEST CHILDREN’S CLOTHING STORE CORDUROY BUTTON 1628 Thames St., (410) 276-5437 e’re still sad about the demise of Raw Sugar and downright miffed that the new children’s clothing store that was supposed to open on West 36th Street never materialized, but at least we still have the Corduroy Button in Fells Point. The clothes are cute, and not just in a syrupy pink-is-forgirls, blue-is-for-boys kind of way. They carry cool onesies by local brands like Squidfire and Red Prairie Press and other less Balticentric designers. Sure, you can get something there for your cousin who wants her little mini-me dressed like a princess cupcake, but you can also get baby clothes there for the offspring of people you like.

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BEST PLACE TO BUY JEANS JEAN POOL 5616 Newbury St., (410) 466-1177, baltimore jeanpool.com

MENSWEAR 517 N. Charles St., (410) 3477974, gianmarcomens wear.com e first, be different. . . . That’s Gian Marco Menswear’s slogan, and we believe it. We were the first in our crowd to buy a shirt there, and the gorgeous silk button-down in a rust and orange, slightly vintage pattern is different from anything else in our closet. Gian Marco carries the best men’s clothing and accessories in the city, and it’s not just well-made suits and long sleeves—even the sportswear is refined,luxurious in silk and lightweight wools.The long

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f you have never spent at least $100 on a pair of jeans, what are you waiting for? An expensive pair of skinnys, denim trousers,boot cuts,straight legs, high-waisted, or hip huggers by Joe’s, James Jeans, Fortune Denim, Robins Jeans, Rock and Republic, Tag Jeans, Chip and Pepper, or People’s Liberation in dark, black, white, or light will make your assets look spectacularly better than in any cheap jeans. There, we said it. It’s true,and Mount Washington’s Jean Pool obviously agrees, because it has the best selection of spendy jeans for all body types and tastes. The investment belts, supersoft yet rock ’n’roll tees, and romantic blouses in this chic little boutique are there to remind you just how versatile a well-fit pair of dungarees can be.

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BEST THRIFT STORE VALUE VILLAGE, BROOKLYN PARK 5406 S. Ritchie Highway, Brooklyn Park, (410) 789-3136 hat makes the Brooklyn Park Value Village great is its consistency. Prices are reasonable and have been since it moved into this location a dozen or so years ago. The wares for sale run the gamut from kids’clothes to reclining chairs, from weird taxidermic weasel scarves to a Jim Nabors Christmas LP. But most important, the level of organization is superlative:Clothes are organized by size, unlike many competitors, who organize clothes by color, forcing you to wade through a sea of yellow to find the perfect-sized guayabera.

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ordering either side of the Charles Village Safeway are shops along St. Paul and North Charles streets worth an afternoon of hawk-eyed browsing for keenly modern pieces that are truly unique. Por ejemplo: bright batik wraps and dashiki tunics at Sankofa African and World Bazaar or one-of-a-kind accessories and dresses from Marietu’s Creations next door. Bryan’s Finds and Designs boasts vintage looks and quirky hooks to reel in even the most skeptical window shopper. The sad news: Rags 2 Riches on St. Paul, where we found perfect-fit jeans, new and used, and baskets of must-have belts,closed recently. The silver lining: Creative Blessings opened up next door, showing much promise.

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BEST ARRIVAL OF A CHAIN TARGET COMING TO MONDAWMIN MALL

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bout fucking time! Seriously. For too long we have been

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pretty. While some are a little impractical, they’re never precious, and the shop feeds the need to treat yourself to the best. In suede,leather,and manmade materials with detailing and ornaments in ribbon,tweed, plastic, metallics, and velvet, Poppy and Stella’s heels, flats, and boots come in styles by BCBG Max Azria,Oh Deer!,Jeffery Campbell,Puma,Keds,and many more. Maybe it’s the cooler weather talking, but their fall Frye leather lookers in tan,black, and colors in between are absolutely covetable.

BEST MEN’S SHOE STORE SHANE’S SHOES

BEST WOMEN’S SHOE STORE Y POPPY AND STELLA pending an allotted dollar amount of vacation money on something unique and maybe a little unnecessary while on holiday not only makes the days away feel special but also lends an air of the exotic to the purchase. Popping into Poppy and Stella reminds us of shopping on vacation. The shoes are so

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925 W. 36th St., (410) 2352269, sproutsalon.com f you’ve ever doubted the passion of skinny hipsters, go get your hair washed at Sprout. The 20-minute head massage you get prior to coiffing borders on

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en are weird about hair. That is, we do our best to pretend not to care about it,but so many of us are profoundly vain about it, which makes for a deadly combo when we go to get our hair cut. One of the many nice things about the Beatnik Barbershop is that the various folks manning the shears at the small Mount Vernon spot can make you look like a state troop-

BEST PLACE TO BUY SNEAKERS JIMMY JAZZ immy Jazz is filled with shelves of sneakers of every hue combo that you can imagine.Male and female shoe lovers can pick from newer brands like DC Shoe Co., Pastry, and Cr8tive Reaction, as well as classics like Adidas, New Balance, and Nike. There are even embellished Timberland boots for thugs with style. Top off your fresh feet with an outfit, hat, belt and/or handbag from the racks of clothing and accessories. Sneaker extremists may be disappointed by the lack of rare kicks, and the customer service is usually shaky at best, but Jimmy Jazz has the hottest looks on the street at prices the other stores can’t beat.

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ou can tell something about a man by what he puts on his feet. If it’s Red Wings, the person is interested in three things: quality, comfort, and durability. Red Wing is one of the last American-made brands, from steel-toe work boots to soft-toe slip-ons and oxfords to sneakers. There Red Wing stores in Glen Burnie, Dundalk, White Marsh, and Catonsville, but you can get your fix closer to home at Shane’s Shoes in Southwest Baltimore, which has been in business for over 95 years. The

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showroom is huge and the staff is friendly. They’ve also got Converse,Timberland,and even clothing by Carhartt’s and Dickies. As far as Red Wings, if you don’t see what you like, the staff can size you up and order them direct from the banks of the Mississippi in Red Wing, Minn.

Mondawmin Mall, (410) 4620150; Eastpoint Mall, Dundalk (410) 282-3874, jimmyjazz.com

1012 Russell St., (410) 539-4709

728 Broadway, (410) 5221970, poppyandstella.com

241 W. Read St., (410) 669-3033, beatnikbarbershop.com

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SAINT PAUL AND NORTH CHARLES STREETS

BARBERSHOP

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BEST KEPT SHOPPING SECRET 2400 BLOCKS OF

BEST MEN’S HAIRCUT BEATNIK

BEST HAIRSTYLIST M NAOMI GREENE

BEST TAILOR: THE TINY TAILOR forced to truck out to the counties and give our sales tax dollars to other jurisdictions with better schools and fewer social ills to buy large amounts of toilet paper, bath towels to match our latest digs,unnecessary but pleasantly cheap decorative doodads, and clothes by pandering fashion designers. And for too long, Mondawmin Mall has sat there, bigboxless, unable to lure in all the white people with disposable incomes living less than a mile in any direction. Finally, Target has come to bring all that shit we inexplicably need every other month to Baltimoreans and white Baltimore to Mondawmin. Does it sound like we’re being sarcastic? We’re not. The new Target rules.

orgasmic. Although that would by all rights be plenty, stylist Naomi Greene subsequently turns ordinary heads of hair into movable art. A lithe earlytwentysomething, Greene speaks softly in your ear and magically makes you look cooler than you ever thought possible. (Where was she in high school?) Part of her conjuring could have something to do with her meticulous use of a ceramic straightening iron, but it’s the fact that she pulls off flawless with a grin on her face and songlike banter that makes the whole experience divine.

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GOODS & SERVICES laces in the shape of trees,birds, or insect wings. The stylized design and simple lines have an almost Art Nouveau quality, so her work is delicate and adorable but never cutesy. She’s found a way to make a necklace in the shape of a whale elegant, and we love it. J O H N E L L S B E R R Y

BEST MEN’S HAIRCUT: THE BEATNIK BARBERSHOP er or a banker,if that’s what you want, but they don’t seem to assume that’s what you’re looking for when you try to fumble out how you want it cut.Chances are that you leave looking like you, instead of like a guy who just got a haircut. Factor in a jovial, bantering atmosphere, and we actually look forward to a snip.

BEST TAILOR THE TINY TAILOR 218 W. Read St., (410) 783-0110 ooking to have that new pair of True Religions brought up a half-inch, but don’t know where to find a tailor who won’t make them look like the Big Yanks you wore in the third grade? How many pairs of jeans have you had rendered unwearable by a clueless tailor who gave them two-inch cuffs? The Tiny Tailor’s owner and seamstress, Lydia Armstead, understands why you buy designer brands, and she knows just how to take care of them. She’ll also be glad to take in that dress that no longer fits since your summer diet worked, or let out that too-tight suit after all those holiday cookies.

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BEST DRY CLEANER SANITATE 3524 Chestnut Ave., (410) 467-9438 anitate is one of those oldschool local businesses that does a good job at a good price, while making you feel like that’s no big thing. Not only do they get our clothes perfectly clean, but all their dry cleaning is done in house, so when we forget that we need a dress or a suit to be ready to go, um, sheepish smile, tomorrow, they can do that. And we’ve recently started taking advantage of their altering services, which for $9 turned a pair of jeans from the almost perfect pair we never wear to the ones we almost never take off.

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BEST LAUNDROMAT SUPER LAUNDROMAT 3113 St. Paul St., (410) 243-1212 hances are your regular laundromat just happens to be the one closest to home. Spending several hours trapped at a laundromat is bad enough without having to lug two duffel bags of stinky socks all over the city,right? If you don’t mind a short drive, however, the non-

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descript but full-service Super Laundromat,tucked underneath a florist on a well-populated block in Charles Village, offers more-or-less reasonably priced machines ($1.75 per load),a blessedly nonskeezy atmosphere, and a convenient in-house drycleaning service. So you can hang out if you want. (Fellow addicts should note there’s a Ms. Pac-Man arcade machine to eat up your laundry quarters.) But since you don’t have to worry about some wastrel snagging your clothes when you step away from the machine, you can also slip out to grab a magazine at Barnes and Noble,a cup of coffee at Donna’s, or set up a tab at the Charles Village Pub, handily only a few doors down.

BEST LOCAL COSMETICS MONAVÉ

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n some parts of North Baltimore, you can’t swing a lacrosse stick without hitting a grown-ass woman carrying a pink and green polka-dotted, grosgrain ribbon-festooned, critter-decaled bag clearly meant for a teenager. They need to visit Baltimore designer Ali Dryer’s Etsy store Pistolstitched, which sells her sophisticated and inspired versions of the tired, preppy Bermuda bag. Dryer’s purses are structured and impeccably sewn, evoking both the tailored opulence of Mad Men 1960s and origami folding. Her luxe clutches, with a hand-cut wood handle and a vintage button, cost around $90, and larger bags can cost $120 and up. Her new Bangle bag, especially the one for $135 in a brown giraffe pattern lined with teal, is the hotness.

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BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO DIVORCE SINCE DIVORCE MARYLAND COLLABORATIVE LAW ASSOCIATION marylandcollaborativelaw association.com f you must go, and can, then by all means do,and do so with a clearer conscience courtesy of the members of the Maryland Collaborative Law Association. This group of attorneys, mental health professionals,financial planners, and other providers, engage in collaborative law as an “alternative form of dispute resolution.”Basically,this means dissolving a marriage with all parties agreeing to play nice and not sue for custody or assets, and, if there are children, they get the support and advocacy they need in order to deal. So, while many say they want what’s best for the children, these people actually sign a participation agreement asserting that fact, and thereby pinkie-promise not to go for the jugular when the going gets gritty.

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BEST PLACE TO GET AN BEST FLORIST ENGAGEMENT RING CRIMSON AND SAMUELSON’S CLOVER 426 W. Baltimore St., (410) 837-0290, samuelsons diamonds.com ou can head out to a mall, or break your bank in NYC, but if you’re getting married in Baltimore, just hop on the bus and buy your ring on Baltimore Street. The latest of three generations of Samuelsons has moved the store into the 21st century while keeping it simple. They don’t breathe down your neck, they don’t spend a lot of money prettying the place up (although there are plans for upgrading), but the options are there: If you want less expensive, they’ve got less expensive.If you want class,there’s that, too. And if you don’t know anything about rings,they won’t

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e’re big fans of all the members of Charm City Craft Mafia, but lately we’re doing most of our consumer drooling over the work of local jewelry designer Annie Chau. After studying jewelry and metalsmithing at Towson University, Chau stayed local and started Imogene, her line of necklaces, earrings, and rings. Her jewelry is mainly sterling silver, and her pieces often draw from nature-based images—neck-

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o not pay a fortune at some snobby-ass store for shit that you don’t even know what it is to smear on your face. And do not waste another second wandering clueless down the drugstore makeup aisle. Get some of these miraculous concoctions made right in Baltimore, complete with a how-to from

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etsy.com/shop.php?user_id= 5180906, pistolstitched.com

DIAMONDS

www.imogene.org

914 Wolfe St., (410) 5341058, monave.com

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the manufacturer. At Monavé you’ll find lighter-than-powder mineral foundations to match your skin tone (we’re talking exactly matched) for a flawless complexion, with UV protection to boot. Add some rich jewel-toned shadows,made with pure chemistry magic in the rawest form, so a little goes a long way. Don’t know what you need/want/look best in? The knowledgeable staff at Monavé can consult, demonstrate, recommend, or even sell you a kit to create your own makeup at home. Now that’s beautiful.

BEST LOCAL ETSY-ER PISTOLSTITCHED

make you feel like an idiot. But maybe you were an idiot for getting hitched to begin with. In that event, Samuelson’s isn’t a bad place to sell your ring either.

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2150 Boston St., (410) 5345459, crimsonandclover designs.com ace it: Roses are easy. Gifting a dozen says little more than that you had $50 to burn. For a more thoughtful and sophisticated gesture, without having to study up on floral symbology, turn to Boston Street’s Crimson and Clover. Owner Amy Epstein can coax a meaningful, striking arrangement from the most tongue-tied of phone customers. Better still is stopping by the 5-year-old Canton shop, especially when a wedding order of pastel orchids and flamboyant birds-ofparadise spills out from the back in decadent masses of fresh blooms. Beyond flowers, the stock of decorative elements

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If I were blind, disabled, disorganized, or jobless, what would be my style? Shapes that move with me, fabrics that breathe with me and wash easily, soft pillows to burrow and cry into, details that make me feel finished? However I may feel today? On whom would I rely? My guts, my gods, my intuitions?

Sighthound “Daisy Too-Friendly” from Falls Road SPCA. Photo by retired MICA Professor, Bob Lionheart. Setting & Clothing, A Bit of Zen Boutique, The Rotunda. As shown on Marie Payzant. Furniture: A People United & A Bit of Zen. Jacket: Local artist Dermaine Johnson. Jeans: Not Your Daughter’s Jeans from A Bit of Zen. Orchid and Paula’s Pottery: Dutch Connection. Talking Globe: Shananigans. Graphic Design: Athena from City Paper. Grand Felony and Forgery: Justis Saradji. At large. Armed. Charming. Thank you Saint Anthony, patron saint of lost and missing things, for your most urgent attention to these matters: for the return of all lost keys, dogs, jobs, homes, a free press, free elections, manufacturing jobs, the moral, visionary, and delightful education of our children, and the return of hope, uprightness, leadership and stewardship to our country. We need your help bigtime and thank you in advance in the most urgent resolution of these matters.

To Saint Jude, patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of. We thank you in advance for the return of a free press, free elections, and your assistance in the matter of returning the sons and daughters of our nation home safely from overseas, alive, entirely limbed, and soon, and for the immediate repair of infrastructure and apology to the nation of families we have torn apart in the quest of a few bullies in Washington for power and oil. Thank you in advance for your continual diligence over these matters.

The Rotunda Mon-Fri 10-6pm Sat 10-8pm Sun Closed until holiday September 17, 2008

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TRADITIONS Spiritual Healing Retreat

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GOODS & SERVICES are revelations in simplicity, like the old-fashioned footed bathtub brimming with enormous, delicately spined conch shells or the gleaming peacock feathers and twists of pale-blue dried grass tucked into turquoise and sea-green vases.

5424 Falls Road, (410) 3233444, greenfields nursery.com arden shops get our blood pumping,and not just as a result of all the oxygen coming from the plants and Green Fields is the best in the city. We love the design.Outdoor foliage,from wee violets to Japanese maples, almost completely surround greenhouses filled with humidity and cacti and herbs. There’s fancy landscaping trees and shrubs,and exterior design elements like beautiful glazed pottery, fire pits, and bamboo fencing. Plus, the enclosed area where the cash registers are features seed packets,bird feeders, and other nonessentials for a lively outdoors environment. Wait,what? We’ll ask them about earth-friendly soil next week when we visit to purchase mums in orange and rust and purple.

7540 Washington Blvd., Elkridge, (410) 799-8301, us1fleamarket.net E L L S B E R R Y

NURSERY

BEST FLEA MARKET U.S. 1 FLEA MARKET

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BEST PLACE TO BUY NEW FURNITURE SU CASA 901 S. Bond St., (410) 5227010, esucasa.com

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BEST RUSSIAN GROCERY STORE: STOLICHNY pand as needed, bar tables and stools perfect for homes where the dining room is really just an expansion of the living room. Their items are pretty, modern, and well-made, and though they may not be as inexpensive as everyone’s favorite Swedish department store, Su Casa’s stuff is still affordable for those of us on a budget.

September 17, 2008

arehouse No. 3 in the Second Chance empire is the biggest treasure trove of affordable used furniture in the city. Sure, you can spend a few grand on an obnoxiously ostentatious stuffed orange leather carved walnut couch and club chair set (someone did—it’s gone), but there is plenty here for the modest budget. Every style is represented, from Art Nouveau gliding rockers to Mission-style dining room sets to Federal style chairs and all points in between. You could walk out of here with an awesome midcentury solid wood dresser for $200. We uncovered a hand-carved pine headboard and footboard stacked in a row

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of unremarkable factory-made bed frames. Walk through the vast warehouse and you’ll find just about anything you could muscle through your front door. School lockers. Oriental rugs. Baby furniture. Entertainment cabinets. The list stretches on; all you have to do is scratch out plenty of time to explore.

BEST WAY TO GREEN YOUR ROWHOUSE ON A BUDGET USE ONE OF THE

BEST PLACE TO BUY USED FURNITURE SECOND CHANCE

1645 Warner St., (410) 385ou shouldn’t have to be rich 1101, secondchanceinc.org

to buy decent furniture. And just because you don’t have thousands to drop on a new couch or dining room set, you shouldn’t have to shop at Ikea (not that we have anything against Ikea,mind you—it’s just that we like to have options). That’s why we really like Su Casa, where we can afford to furnish our homes without plundering our 401(k) but still get stuff that we really, really like.Plus,Su Casa stocks its stores with our little Baltimore rowhouses in mind: In addition to traditional full-size items, the store also sells cool sectional sofas designed to fit into small spaces, attractive dining room tables with hidden leaves to ex-

he U.S. 1 Flea Market is a flea market for people who hate flea markets but love food.While your bargain-hunting significant other searches for cheap clothes, furniture, art, cosmetics, toys, handbags, shoes, electronics, and whatever else she needs to further clutter the house, you can do some serious munching on tacos, pupusas, fruit salads, and shrimp cocktails.Then wash it all down with a horchata. Urp. This flea market, 250+ vendors within several buildings and scattered around outside on the west side of U.S. 1 in Elkridge, leans heavily in the Latino direction, so you might want to bring a phrasebook, and consider picking up some soccer jerseys and reggaeton CDs while there.

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BEST GARDEN STORE GREEN FIELDS

yourself. You can’t miss it. It’s in a case near the 12-foot-tall two-headed mummy.

BEST ANTIQUE STORE WOODWARD’S

CITY’S SALVAGE PLACES TO RENOVATE YOUR SPACE

905 W. 36th St., (410) 6621875, woodwardson theavenue.com

Second Chance, 1645 Warner St., (410) 385-1101, secondchanceinc.org; Loading Dock, 2 N. Kresson St., (410) 558-3625, loadingdock.org

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o, you managed to out-eBay that other pasty basement dweller who thought he was gonna get his mitts on an authentic 1979 Buck Rogers Fleetwood space communicator, and you’re feeling pretty good about yourself—like, next stop Sotheby’s, right? This’ll work out just like that attempt to parlay your online poker success into Vegas millions if you don’t get some offline practice first.Woodward’s on the Avenue holds actual auctions every other Tuesday,so you can try work-

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he three R’s of greener living— reduce, reuse, recycle—have been drilled into our heads since elementary school, yet most of us head straight for Home Depot or Lowe’s when it comes time to do home renovation. Next time you have a DIY project in mind,why not check out one of the city’s two nonprofit salvage/materials-reuse warehouses to see if they’ve got a

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secondhand version of the building stuff you need.Both of these places stock all manner of homeimprovement materials, from wrought-iron railings and kitchen cabinets to gallons of unused paint, hardwood flooring, and more. Tile for your bathroom floor? They’ve got it. Decorative stained-glass windows? Yep. Appliances? Got those, too. Not only will you save a little cash by shopping at Second Chance or the Loading Dock, but you’ll practice your three R’s by saving space in a landfill.

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ing your way up to that Faberge egg you’ve had your eye on. Like maybe something in a nice Natty Boh sign first.

BEST HANDYMAN WALTER F.

BEST SEVERED FOOT THE ANTIQUE MAN

MCGUIRE III

1806 Fleet St., (410) 732-0932

wo simple things we humble homeowners ask of those we hire to fix the things we can’t fix ourselves. One, when you make an appointment with us, please show up.Two,do the work well. And yet, despite the fact that the mortgage meltdown has made a lot of folks in the building trades a lot less busy than they used to be, it’s often shockingly hard to find handypersons who follow through on those two counts. So when we find a professional like Walt McGuire III,we count ourselves lucky and tell all our homeowning friends about him. McGuire not only shows up when he says he’s going to, and does the job well—he brings his brains as well as his skilled hands to the task at hand. He asks questions and offers solutions to sticky home-repair problems, suggesting less invasive (and often less expensive than anticipated) surgery on your crib’s trouble spots. We just hope he’ll still return our phone calls now that we’ve made him a little famous.

he voyeuristic joy we experience when rifling through the small mementos that people leave behind or pass along to others is usually more than enough to draw us into an antique shop. Especially one that presents itself as an eclectic visual feast, a promise that the Antique Man in Fells Point delivers in spades.You could spend hours gawking at old toys,tools, and knickknacks, but you’ll eventually find your way to something really spectacular: a severed human foot. Not just any severed human foot you might stumble across while cleaning out the basement, but a very special,very specific foot: Oscar O. Potter’s foot. Mr. Potter was a railroad worker in 1884, who had the misfortune of loosing his foot on the job, and the very strange luck of having friends kind enough to mummify and frame it for him. Go on in and read the accompanying personalized note for

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Prosource Construction Co., 107 Greenbrier Road, Towson, (443) 392-5135

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20th Year!

The Haunted Mill

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Movie Passes

Gordon Center FRIGG

and

Saturday, October 4; 8:00PM

$18 ADVANCE $20 SHOW DAY

Girl Singers: Clooney, Lee, and Day invite you and a guest to see

Saturday, October 18; 8:00PM

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Jesse Winchester/Claire Lynch Band Saturday, October 25; 8:00PM

$22 ADVANCE $24 SHOW DAY

David Burgess/Woody Lissauer on Tuesday, September 23rd. Stop by Daedalus Books and Music on Friday, September 19th from 1-3pm and you may receive a complimentary pass.

Saturday, November 1; 8:00PM

$19 ADVANCE $20 SHOW DAY

Eddie From Ohio

Saturday, November 15; 8:00PM $22 ADVANCE $24 SHOW DAY TICKETS ON SALE NOW: www.gordoncenter.com

5911 York Road, Baltimore 410-464-2701 Sun.-Thurs. 10-8 Fri.-Sat. 10-9 *While supplies last. You must provide valid identification in order to receive a ticket. You may only receive tickets once in a 30 day period. No purchase necessary. One pass per person, each good for (2). While supplies last. Employees of Touchstone Pictures, Daedalus Books & Music and City Paper are not eligible.

OPENS NATIONWIDE FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26th PAGE 78

INFORMATION: 410.356.7469 or info@gordoncenter.com TicketMaster: 410.547.SEAT

3506 Gwynnbrook Ave. Owings Mills, MD 21117

GORDON CENTER SHOWS ARE SUPPORTED BY THE MARYLAND STATE ARTS COUNCIL.

C I T Y P A P E R B E S T O F B A LT I M O R E 2 0 0 8

September 17, 2008


GOODS & SERVICES

BEST CONTRACTOR J. HOLLAND BUILDERS

BEST FARMERS MARKET 32ND STREET

3549 Keswick Road, (443) 388-4464, jholland builders@gmail.com icking the right guy for the job is often a nerve-racking process. You’ve got repairs and/or improvements you want to make and you want them done right. You don’t want to break the bank making them, and you want to minimize the creepy factor of having a stranger lingering around your house for days on end. Jeff Holland provides a rare combination of the aforementioned requirements and throws into the mix an attention to detail and craftsmanship that you don’t typically find in a man under the age of 60. He and his crew are a good-mannered bunch: ready and willing to listen to your ideas and concerns, and committed to providing you with the information you’ll need to make informed decisions about your home-improvement project. They tag themselves as “Builders with a conscience,” and they prove it by using recycled and green materials as much as possible, as well as using local suppliers like the National Lumber Co. and Falkenhan’s.

FARMERS MARKET Barclay and East 32nd streets, 32ndstreet market.org

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BEST MOVERS BILL’S MOVING (410) 235-2075 he best thing about Bill’s Moving is Bill. When you call Bill’s Moving, Bill’s the guy you talk to, and Bill’s the nice, nobullshit guy who will come out to your house to take a quick, professional scan of the situation and give you a quote right there and then: how many hours, what kind of vehicle he’ll use, how many helpers he’ll need to bring. Every time we’ve availed ourselves of his services he’s been spot-on with the estimate, and he and his helpers have amazed us with an almost paranormal ability to move massive, awkward pieces of furniture into the most difficult places, all factors insuring we’ll hire Bill’s when next we move.

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September 17, 2008

E L L S B E R R Y J O H N

BEST BUTCHER: J.A. REGAN

BEST LOCAL BEST PLACE HARDWARE STORE TO BUY GROCERIES ZESKINDS MARS HARDWARE AND MILLWORK 222 S. Payson St., (410) 2331919, zeskinds.com n a neighborhood where it seems every third house is boarded up, it’s a testament to this hardware store’s strength that it has stayed in business this long—the store was opened in 1925 by Sam Zeskind, and it’s still going strong. It’s now run by his son Rick Sr., assisted by grandson Rick Jr. Shopping here for anything from custom-made windows to fasteners to latex caulk feels like a visit to another time—you get family treatment. Don’t let the small, dark-paneled storefront fool you—it looks pretty much like it did in 1925—they have two warehouses full of roofing materials, lumber, and other contractors’supplies. Zeskind’s has staying power.

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hat’s the official name, but errbody we know calls it the “Waverly Market,” and it’s on Saturday, so as not to be harshing on the larger and totally awesome Sunday under-theJFX farmers market, but we’ve got a much better chance of rising early to palpate produce on a Saturday and nosh on some tasty breakfast pastries with our cuppa roasted-to-perfection Zeke’s coffee (while internally debating the appropriate refractory period before hitting the Curry Shack) than we do on the Seventh Day. Also, the Waverly Market is a volunteer effort that kicks profits back to nonprofit community groups, and extra-also, the Waverly Market is open year-round, which makes up for that obnoxious bell they ring at noon to shut it down. Ow.

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1700 E. Northern Parkway, (410) 464-0341, plus 17 other locations in metro Baltimore, marsfood.com henever possible, we like to shop local and keep our money pumping back into the city economy. That’s tough to do when it comes to shopping for groceries, since the national megachains that dominate grocery sales tend to have the best prices and cleanest stores.Which is why we have to give huge props to Mars supermarkets, locally owned and operated with headquarters in Glen Burnie,for operating clean,wellstocked supermarkets that hold their own against the Safeways, SuperFreshes, and Super WalMarts of the world. Mars markets aren’t terribly fancy—you won’t find a huge selection of organic products or high-end meats at your local store—but they’re functional:The produce, meat, and seafood is fresh, and the prices are competitive with (if not better than) the chain markets in the area.Our favorite part,though,is that unlike pretty much every other supermarket in the world these days, you don’t have to have a spe-

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cial shopper’s card to get the advertised prices. That means everything’s priced as marked, and you don’t have to add another one of those infuriating cards that you’re going to forget to bring with you anyway to your already-overstuffed wallet. Plus, no one at headquarters is going through your purchases and mining your personal information. That alone is worth shopping at Mars.

the deli—and we highly recommend you do, because Stolichny makes a corned beef sandwich that will change your mind about, well, corned beef sandwiches—it might serve you well to bring a Russian speaker. Oh yeah: We highly doubt you’ll find better deals and assortments of caviar anywhere else in the city.

BEST REASON TO GO TO HARBOR EAST FARMERS MARKET GUNPOWDER BISON 1270 Monkton Road, Monkton, (410) 343-2277, gunpowderbison.com

BEST ANTIDOTE TO BEST RUSSIAN LOCAVORE W FANATICISM GROCERY STORE STOLICHNY H-MART 6852 Reisterstown Road, (410) 358-1981 est Place to Buy Goods From Former Soviet Republics” might be a more accurate tag, but the Russian language is what unites what you’re going to find here. With canned and jarred goods from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, and Georgia, and more varieties of rye bread and frozen dumplings than you ever knew existed, Stolichny is a haven for anybody who has visited Eastern Europe and is searching for some of the jams, honeys, and exotic goodness encountered there bearing labels with Cyrillic print.If you’re going to order something from

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800 N. Rolling Road, Catonsville, (443) 612-9020, www.hmart.com ot that there’s anything wrong with supporting local agriculture, of course, but we happen to enjoy using nonlocal foodstuffs occasionally, like, say salt, sugar, lemons, coffee, etc. Hello? Seriously, though, for a truly horizon-broadening experience, set aside an hour to ogle the mammoth produce area (“section” is too quaint a term) at H-Mart. Presumably edible plants from points afar are sorted and stacked for your pleasure, at perhaps disconcertingly, but all the same impressively reasonable prices.

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ho knew there was a burgeoning bison industry in Maryland? Well, there is, and Gunpowder Bison seems to have emerged as its poster child. In the before-time, we had to trek up to the farm in Monkton to stock up on Gunpowder’s seriously delicious, seriously red, meat. Now that we know it participates in the Harbor East farmers market, we’re motivated to overcome our dependable Saturday morning hangover and make it to Lancaster Street before noon, despite the market’s as yet less than copious offerings.Hopefully the newest city farmers market will just keep growing, but for now, convenient access to homegrown bison meat is reason enough to go.

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Lynne & Victor Brick

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September 17, 2008


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One stunning cambodian silk wall hanging Caravanserai. Wander among wonders. Accented with handwoven ikat and featuring tree motifs of Angkor Wat. $115

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GOODS & SERVICES

BEST BUTCHER J.A. REGAN Lexington Market, 400 W. Lexington St., (410) 685-4563

51 Kane St., (410) 633-5500, primafoodsinc.com f you love the rich, creamy, crumbly, melt-in-your-mouth goodness of feta cheese, look no further. Prima Foods, located off of Eastern Avenue past Greektown,has Greek,Bulgarian, and domestic varieties and sells in bulk—we’re talking blocks, buckets, and tubs. Four-and-ahalf- and two-pound containers will keep for months, with

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BEST HONEY REALLY RAW HONEY

K L E I N

BEST PLACE TO BUY FETA CHEESE PRIMA FOODS

F R A N K

nyone who has had occasion to try knows that finding a good butcher isn’t easy. If you seek information about,or parts of, mammals too difficult for your local chain supermarket to handle, consider J.A. Regan in Lexington Market instead of an upscale meat boutique. The folks behind the counter, once you get their attention, supply expertise and service without the premium prices, and whatever they don’t have on hand, they can special order for you within a couple of days.

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the feta preserved in marinade. But if you’re only looking for a few weeks’ worth, the store cleaves feta by the pound. Accompanying treats include olives (15 kinds) and irresistibly chewy, crispy loaves of freshly baked French bread. But we digress. Prima will change the way you see—and consume— feta cheese forever.

3500 Boston St., (800) 7325729, reallyrawhoney.com, uietly and steadily since the mid-1980s,Baltimore’s Really Raw Honey has been satisfying sweet teeth with all the qualities today’s foodies are demanding: organic, pesticidefree, natural goodness from local producers, unsullied by industrial farming processes. Open a jar of Really Raw Honey and see the delicious, healthful dross of bee pollen, propolis, and honeycomb sitting atop the opaque, unfiltered honey. That layer, as the jar explains, contains “all the goodness the bees put in,”setting apart Really Raw from the other raw honeys. It’s good and good for you, but it’s also Baltimore’s honey, and that ought to be good for something in these parts.

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BEST SEVERED FOOT: THE ANTIQUE MAN

BEST PRODUCE STAND DON’S PRODUCE 10421 Stevenson Road, Stevenson

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nyone remember Jack’s Corn on Liberty Road from way

back in the day? Well, the family tradition lives on at Don’s Produce—Jack’s was run by Don Krauss’mom and stepdad—on Stevenson Road just north of Hillside Road. Less a stand per se than a fair-sized open-air market, Don’s is open daily and has a pretty extensive selection of fruits and vegetables, some

local,some not,but all very fresh. In addition to all the plant offerings, Don’s carries fresh Maryland crabmeat, which somehow makes perfect sense.

BEST BEER STORE WELLS DISCOUNT LIQUORS 6310 York Road, (410) 4352700, wellswine.com

BEST WINE STORE W BIN 604 604 S. Exeter St., (410) 5760444, bin604.com in 604 can be a bit intimidating. Our inner wine moron curls up into the fetal position when we enter those tall wooden stacks of oh so classy vino. The thing is, for all its polish, Bin 604 isn’t the least bit pretentious. The service is always nice,accommodating,and snootiness-free. They sell $99 boxes of mixed wines for the season that allow us to always have a nice bottle in the house without having to make any pesky decisions. And they have some decidedly unhighbrow marketing strategies: On one visit we saw a table marked “Good Wines, Bad Labels”—pure genius. And it’s Tony Foreman’s place, so it carries those great wines you fell in love with at Pazo, Petit Louis, Charleston, and Cinghiale.

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hen you browse up and down the beer aisles and stand in front of the cold cases in the back trying to select a few sixpacks you maybe haven’t tried yet, the beer manager at Wells inevitably comes up and asks you with concern if you need help. And that’s what makes Wells beer heaven. He can help you decide among $6 bottles of Belgian ale and tall cans of Japanese lager, debate the merits of 12-packs of mixed microbrews from the Pacific Northwest even though you don’t drink stout,and show you to the mini eight-packs of domestic ponies. And if you already have your mind made up, just let the beer manager know what you need, and he’ll send enough Yuengling to keep your party rolling straight to the cash register where you wait to pay.

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BEST PLACE TO BUY ALCOHOL ON SUNDAYS FELLS POINT LIQUOR AND BAR 1709 Fleet St., (410) 522-7275 n Baltimore,if you don’t have beer for the football game or wine for dinner on a Sunday, procuring it can be an event. If you find a bar that does offer carry-out, you’ll wind up paying inflated prices anyway. Fortunately,the City That Drinks has Fells Point Liquors to come to the rescue. It’s wellstocked and open seven days a week from 7 A . M . to 2 A . M ., and you can purchase your poison of choice for a reasonable price no matter the day. The tiny and brightly lit eightstool bar tucked in the back makes it nice and legal to provide us our sauce on the Sabbath. So, have a cocktail and peruse the booze no matter what day of the week you’re feeling thirsty.

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BEST PLACE TO HAVE A BABY MERCY HOSPITAL 301 St. Paul Place, (800) 636-3729, mdmercy.com hen you prepare for your baby’s birth, you step into a minefield of choices.Will you go natural, or do you want drugs? Do you want a midwife to deliver your baby or an obstetrician? Do you want to deliver in a room that feels like home, or do you want to be floating in la-la land? Would you choose a Caesarian or ask that it be the method of last resort? Most mothers (with their partners at their side, hopefully) step through that minefield with lots of deliberation, and often go back and forth between the poles of all-natural and all-modern.The great thing about Mercy is that the people there work with you.If you want them to completely manage your birth, they can do that. If you have a midwife, she can deliver your baby there as well. Some of the delivery rooms have tubs if you want do a water birth.And Dr.Robert Atlas, the hospital’s well-respected and oft-quoted chief of obstetrics and gynecology, has a team well-prepared for complicated pregnancies.

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BEST GUN RANGE: HORST AND MCCANN INDOOR GUN RANGE

BEST CHILD CARE BEST PLACE DOWNTOWN BALTIMORE TO BUY A BIKE CHILD CARE FOR A KID PRINCETON SPORTS 806 Park Ave., (410) 6691010; 237 N. Arch St., (410) 659-0515; dbcckids.org

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6239 Falls Road, (410) 828-1127, owntown Baltimore Child princetonsports.com

Care offers the care of a relative in the learning environment of a private school. The locations on Park Avenue in Mount Vernon and near the University of Maryland’s downtown campus are super convenient for parents who live and/or work in the downtown area, and the friendly, experienced staff is welcoming and helpful. The children who attend are from all backgrounds, ethnicities, and family settings, and their parents are single parents, heterosexual couples, same-sex couples, interracial couples, and international couples, which provides plenty of diversity, making DBCC more than the typical child-care center.

ust as many men think they are somehow born knowing how to cook meat on a grill, many parents think they intrinsically know how to pick out the right bike for their kids. But the wrong fit can mean you spend bucks on a bike that your child won’t be able to ride properly, or won’t be able to ride for long. While Princeton Sports’county location is a bit of a pedal from town, we’ve had excellent experiences with the kind staff sorting out and adjusting the right wheels (training or otherwise) for our budding Lance Armstrongs. Get it right the first time, and, as they say, you never forget.

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BEST HONEY: REALLY RAW HONEY

BEST TOY STORE SHANANAGINS TOY SHOP Wyndhurst Village, 5004-B Lawndale Ave., (410) 5328384, shananagins toyshop.com e love Shananagins for its wide selection of cool toys (including some we wouldn’t mind taking home ourselves) and the ease with which the friendly staff at the small, crammed-with-stuff Roland Park shop handles recommendations for birthday gifts, from electronic games to the hottest new Playmobil to no-fuss ant farms to the latest in light-saber technology. But, of course, it doesn’t matter what we love, ’cause kids go nuts in this place.

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PLACE 421 E. Baltimore St., (410) 244-1160, geminitattoo.net his year we’re giving the nod to Charlie’s for longevity. Sure, other places have more highbrow reputations,but they can’t boast 70 years in the inking business as Charlie’s did this year.And according to the shop’s web site,Charlie’s is the “United State’s second oldest Tattoo Studio . . . and Maryland’s first oldest.”Dennis Watkins learned to tattoo at the knee of original owner Charles Geizer, who was said to have inked as many as 100 sailors a day in the early years of the shop and put his stamp on people like the King of Denmark and the Duke of Windsor. Watkins took over the shop when Geizer died in 1980, hoping to keep the shop and art form he loved alive. Watkins, an old-school inker with a mischievous glint in his eye, died early this year, but the shop is still going strong, owned by Watkin’s wife and with the needles in the hands of his protégé Scott Clayton.

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4528 Edmondson Ave., (410) 945-3337

5406 Reisterstown Road, (410) 358-2245

e’re not exactly aficionados of the pawnshop business, but from time to time we like to do a little browsing around for hidden treasures in the city’s various jewelry and loan establishments. Mostly we find a lot of junk—old stereo equipment, dirty power tools, chains and charms that hark back to the days when bling meant wearing so many gold chains around your neck you could hardly stand up straight—so we appreciate shops like Edmondson Village Pawn where the merchandise is a little more intriguing (recently, we spotted a huge LG flat-screen plasma TV there) and seems to turn over more frequently than at other pawnshops we’ve visited, making it worth stopping in fairly often to see what new inventory has come in. Edmondson Village Pawn also gets point for its affable staff and a convenient location in the Edmondson Village Shopping Center.

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ou just gotta love it. The mere name conjures a beautiful paradox. Let’s see if we got this straight: You’ve been busted, probably on something pretty

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GYM 506 1/2 S. Broadway, (410) 675-6900 in’t no pilates or yoga. This is straight up sit-ups, push-ups, and tons and tons of punches. The trainers at the gym give you the full “working you like a pro boxer”treatment.Whether it be Jake “The Snake” Smith or Moe Rites barking out the sequences of punches to be thrown at the heavy bag, you will learn the sweet science from a couple of Golden Glove champs. You will also learn the ways of the fist while your heart learns how to beat like a locomotive.

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BEST PLACE TO TRY OUT APLAY SPORT IT AGAIN 7968 Belair Road, (410) 882-1810, playitagain-sports.com ou want your children to be active and build character and try new things and all that, but trying new sports until you find the one that sticks can be an expensive proposition, especially when you’re dealing with athletes who very well may outgrow their equipment and enthusiasm from month to month, much less season to season. So whenever its time to suit up for some new pastime,we haul out to Play It Again Sports, the local franchise of a national chain, and browse the used soccer cleats,new lacrossestick heads,snowboards,on and on, at a price ranging from reasonable to dirt cheap. And it’s not just child’s play;Play It Again stocks all sorts of grownup gear, too, including exercise stuff ranging from new two-pound barbells to lightly used treadmills (assuming the usually brimming stock cooperates). And the store consigns and trades your old stuff, too, so you can pass it on when you’ve moved on. Win-win.

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2137 N. Fountain Green Road, Bel Air, (410) 3999518, horstguns.com

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f you’re like us, you want to belong to a gym, and maybe even work out in it,but you can’t afford those ritzy places with country club locker rooms, or those little boutique gyms that seem to be popping up all over town. You’d prefer a pool, and little bonuses like TV sets on your elliptical machines are nice, too. But, most importantly, you want a place where you can like how you look and feel like you fit in. And if you can find a place that does that, plus makes a positive difference in the community, then you’re golden. That’s why, if you’re like us, you’re going to the Y.

SPORTS

INDOOR GUN RANGE

orst and McCann wants you to shoot straight. With a seven-booth, 25-yard indoor range that allows anything from a .22

JEANETTE WEINBERG YMCA AT STADIUM PLACE

BEST PLACE TO FLEX YOUR I MUSCLES BALTIMORE BOXING

BEST GUN RANGE HORST AND MCCANN H

BEST PLACE TO WORK OUT HARRY AND 900 E. 33rd St., (410) 8899622, ymcamd.org

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hile offering plenty of nittygritty instructional classes and tables brightly laden with Easter egg-colored vibrators and other toys, radical adult store Sugar promotes sex as far more than just getting off. Alongside the sequined nipple pasties, bondage gear, and allnatural lube, the shop, which opened in March of last year, stocks a number of books on maintaining relationships— straight, queer, transgender, and polyamorous—women’s health classics like Our Bodies, Our Selves, and even savvy, kid-

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BEST TATTOO STUDIO TATTOO CHARLIE’S

BEST PAWNSHOP BEST BAIL BONDS EDMONDSON NAME VILLAGE PAWN SMILING FACES

heavy to require bail. Then you contact this business, and the heavens open, the skies clear. All problems are solved and you are only left with a smiling face. Pretty tall order, but you gotta love their optimism.

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BEST “ADULT” STORE SUGAR

friendly fare explaining the birds and the bees. Boasting a friendly, informative staff of trained sex educators and enough gag gifts and pro-whatever-you’re-into schwag to lighten the mood, Sugar is the kind of sex shop you can take your mom to without feeling like a creep.

through .50-caliber+, plus shotguns, you can get your target practice in any weather—though you better double up on the ear protection when those big guns are blazing. The friendly staff helps you choose your weapon, whether its for sale or rent. Fathers and sons are the main clientele, but Thursday is ladies night (women get free gun rental) and Wednesday is college night (free gun rental with college ID). Beginners are welcome;the patient staff explains everything from carry and transport rules (do not carry a loaded gun in your car) to the simplest things like “where’s the safety?” and “how do you load this thing?” There’s also firearms training for beginners and advanced.Oh, and they also have machine guns for rent. Rock ’n’ roll!

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HOME OF THE FAMOUS MOSHER SANDWICH

BEST PLACE BEST HEALTH CARE TO GET A MASSAGE PROVIDER RENEWING TOUCH JOHNS HOPKINS 519 N. Charles St., (410) 2300423, renewingtouch.com

COMMUNITY PHYSICIANS AT WYMAN PARK

tress is such a routine part of our lives that we have deluded ourselves into thinking we’re handling it perfectly as long as we’re not in the hospital with a stroke or running through the mall picking people off with a cheap handgun. So as a result of the pressures of Life in The Big City and being hunched over our computer keyboard all day every day,we’re walking around for weeks with a decidedly nonergonomic softballsized stress-knot in between our shoulder blades. A friend recommended a visit to the soothing confines of Renewing Touch,featuring the skilled hands of Alan Moyers, who listened to our complaint and promptly made it dissolve inside of 30 minutes on the massage table. Renewing Touch offers anything from a 15-minute “Peaceful Pause” massage-chair treatment to the two-hour “Nirvana.” We bounced out on to Charles Street positively glowing and, well, yeah, renewed. And yes, jackass, it’s “nonsexual,” snicker-snicker. If we weren’t so completely relaxed and mellow from our massage, we’d be angry with you.

3100 Wyman Park Drive, (410) 338-3000

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On the Hill Café • Market

1431 John St., Baltimore, MD 21217 Corner of John and Mosher Streets In Historic Bolton Hill 410.225.9667 www.onthehillcafe.com goodfood@onthehillcafe.com HOURS: Mon-Fri 7a-8p, Sat 8a-8p

GEM SHOW 43rd Annual Atlantic Coast Gem, Mineral & Jewelry Show Sponsored by the Gem Cutters Guild of Baltimore, Inc.

Howard County Fairgrounds I-70 at MD Rt. 32

oing to the doctor is inconvenient enough—you’ve got to take time off work and sit around in a crowded waiting room for someone to see you,if you can even get someone to see you on a moment’s notice when you’re sick— which is why we like Johns Hopkins Community Physicians at Wyman Park. It’s like a one-stop shop for all your basic medical needs: internal medicine,ob/gyn,pediatrics, podiatry, lab services, radiology, pharmacy, social work, and ophthalmology, all in one big practice, in one location. If your doctor decides you need blood work,no need to run off to a lab somewhere across town—it’s right downstairs. Need a prescription filled? They can get that done for you. X-rays? Got that, too. They accept all major insurance and Medicare, and there’s even a sliding-scale discount system for those who don’t have in-

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surance at all. Our favorite part, though, is that we can always get an appointment on short notice— not necessarily with our own doctor, but at least with a nurse practitioner or resident who can hook you up with a little checkup action when your throat’s scratchy and your head is ringing.

BEST GYNECOLOGIST BEST GERIATRIC DR. MICHELLE MORGANTI REHAB GOOD SAMARITAN Calvert Women’s Health, Union Memorial Hospital, 200 E. 33rd St., Suite 487, (410) 554-2780, unionmemorial.org

nyone who knows a patient of Dr. Michelle Morganti’s has likely been subjected to spontaneous bursts of singing the woman’s praises. Her charming demeanor makes small talk in an open hospital gown seem not at all weird; her deadpan information-gathering and witty fact-delivery allows less-than-perfect behavior (sexual or recreational) to co-exist with reproductive health; and she turns a pelvic exam into an annual love-thyself fest a girl actually anticipates. Dr. Morganti is more than worthy of the musical tribute to her style of deliver-

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Children 12 and Under Free with Adult • Food • Ample free parking • Scouts in uniform get in free www.gemcuttersguild.com 410-467-9838

inding a good dentist is tough. Let’s face it, when you’re in the chair and they pull out, like, an angle grinder, and you know you’ve been eating nothing but handfuls of raw cane sugar and jujubes, you don’t want to go confessing and sobbing like a little girl to just anyone, right? Dr. Kimberly Ford and the staff at the office she shares with Lawrence Chen at the Rotunda have never been anything but kind, gentle, and stoic in the face of our dental depravity.

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rab a towel, a big water bottle, the stretchiest pants you own, and get ready to sweat more than you ever thought possible at this studio’s signature hot vinyasa yoga class. As the room temperature rises to about 90 degrees, all your bits and pieces loosen up to give you a deeper stretch in conjunction with the strengthening, cleansing, and meditative aspects of the practice. If you can’t take the heat, other varieties of classes are available, including ashtanga, yin, prenatal, and rock ’n’ roll. The teachers are engaging, top quality, and harbor a holistic approach to the practice. Yogis and yoginis of all levels, especially beginners, will appreciate the posture pointers and guidance. If $15 per class seems like too much of a workout for a thin wallet,community classes are only $6. All classes are drop-in, so a yoga routine at this studio will flex to fit into your busy, unpredictable schedule.

BEST ACCOUNTANT FOR STARVING ARTISTS JONATHAN MAYO Tax Experience CPA, 100 E 23rd St., 3B, (410) 889-2407, jonathan@taxexperience.com

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BEST AMPLIFIER MAKER: TONEKING’S MARK BARTEL

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his best has no hipster cachet. This is about selfless people doing the thankless job of giving the elderly back their life. Day in and day out these therapists rehabilitate the aging with a variety of ailments—broken bones and strokes to name a few. Even in the face of this emotional task they never falter, pushing ever forward with warm smiles and supportive encouragement. It is easy to be a pessimist in this world, but these people prove there is good to be found.

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107 E. Preston St., (410) 2348967; 901 Fell St., (410) 2769642; charmcityyoga.com

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We now offer Mini-Classes at the Show!

Many activities for kids: sapphire mine, wishing well and prizes!

5601 Loch Raven Blvd., (443) 444-4070, gshs.org

The Rotunda, 711 W. 40th St., (410) 235-8525

BEST YOGA STUDIO CHARM CITY YOGA G

TRANSITIONAL CARE UNIT

BEST DENTIST DR. KIMBERLY FORD

September 27 - 28 2008 Saturday 10 A.M. - 6 P.M. Sunday 10 A.M. - 5 P.M. Admission: $5.00

ing sidesplitting anecdotes about whether eggs get too old to fertilize after age 35 (a clue: no) and if a girl might keel over dead in her pumps if she smokes while taking The Pill. Due to her growing popularity, seats are limited but worth the waitlist. Spread ’em for Dr. Morganti and join the chorus.

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_;G;TCHAFS ?HN?LN;CHCHA` ÂŻ#HICAGO $AILY (ERALD

_,?L> &?;P?H` ÂŻ#HICAGO 4RIBUNE BEST ACCOUNTANT FOR STARVING ARTISTS: JONATHAN MAYO

BEST CHEAP CULTURE FIX DAEDALUS BOOKS AND MUSIC Belvedere Square, 5911 York Road, (410) 464-2701, daedalusbooks.com o be honest, we kinda try to stay out of Daedalus. Not that we don’t love it—we do. That’s the problem.Unlike other remainders bookstores that stock their shelves with pallets of whatever crap didn’t sell, the Columbia-based retailer picks over the best of what’s left out there and stocks the cream of the crop at absurdly reasonable prices. Even a quick browse can end with you carting around an armload of books and DVDs and CDs (say, Philip Roth’s Exit Ghost, Robert Altman’s The Long Goodbye, Bill Evans’ Everybody Digs Bill Evans, etc.) that you didn’t know you wanted when you walked in but that you can’t walk out without, not when each goes for about the price of a fancy coffee,or at least less than a movie ticket. We can rarely escape

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Daedalus without spending money, but the beauty part is that we spend so little and get so much. It’s a compulsive culture accumulator’s worst nightmare and wildest dream, all rolled into one.

BEST INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORE THE IVY BOOKSHOP 6080 Falls Road, (410) 377-2966 he Ivy Bookshop in Mount Washington may not have competition nearby physically, but damn near everyone has ordered a book online at some point. Yet the Ivy is fighting the good local-business fight and, beyond just staying alive, expanded two years ago,which did more than add hundreds of extra books to the inventory; it offered room to increase the number of genre categories and the diversity within each. Plus, and this seems unlikely but true, there is room to wander and even settle down in front of a shelf of, say, cookbooks and nose through a stack. Baltimore has some great niche bookstores, but the Ivy gets the gold for best all-around.

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0RESENTS

805 Light St., (410) 5768885, thebookescape.com e have lots of favorite places to score used books around town. What makes the Book Escape in Federal Hill jump to the head of the line this year is that its well-organized,easyto-browse shelves turn over. Don’t see a title you’re jonesing for from a relatively big-named author—say,Anne Tyler or John Irving—then just come back in a week or two, and we bet it’s there. There are plenty of more obscure titles to choose from,too,a smattering of new books, and a loyalty discount Book Pass program.And if you’ve got allergies, you’ll be thankful for no store cat,though those with an aversion to scales may want to avoid the store turtle in the courtyard.

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porting its creative class? April Fool’s. You’ve got two weeks till doomsday, and suddenly that 1040-EZ form is looking pretty grim. Well, wipe away your tears, collect all your receipts,and take your problems to Jonathan Mayo, tax therapist for starving artists and musicians.He’ll make sure you pay everything you owe to the federal and state governments. And not a penny more.

WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY #HARLES 2OSS DIRECTED BY 4 * $AWE

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BEST COMIC BOOK STORE COLLECTORS CORNER 8108 Harford Road, Parkville, (800) 979-3353, collectorscornermd.com

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ollectors Corner feels . . . no, is cramped. That’s because this tiny Parkville storefront is stocked to the ceiling with graphic novels, trade paperbacks,manga,DVDs,toys,statues, and, of course, dozens upon hundreds of comic books.

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GOODS & SERVICES

Comfort food with an edge

Go around a corner too quickly and you might find yourself confronted by three rows of X-Men books. Scary. While Collectors Corner does carry nice selections of manga and alternative books, its core focus is superheroes and related genres. And that’s fine, as owner Randy Myers and his crew are happy to order anything not on the shelves, and eager to shoot the breeze about whatever it is you’re reading.

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1010 Aliceanna St., (410) 244-5140, harbornews.com

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rue, the competition comes down to slim and none, but that only makes Harbor News’ stock of slicks and newsprint all the more precious. The stylish Harbor East shop generally has the titles you’re looking for, from foreign fashion doorstops to metal mag Decibel, as well as seemingly countless publications that, at least when we’re there, are near impossible to resist. Print’s not only not dead, it’s downright lively, at least at Harbor News.

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BEST PLACE TO RENT MOVIES VIDEO AMERICAIN

BEST PLACE TO BUY VINYL NEW DIMENSIONS

400 W. Cold Spring Lane, (410) 243-2231; 3100 St. Paul St., (410) 889-5266; videoamericain.com

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233 Park Ave., (410) 7527121, dimensionsin music.com ver the past year there’s been some muttering about a resurgence of vinyl. Like, since digital music is so easy to get these days, why bother getting it via a CD,a cumbersome delivery vehicle compared to the internet? But, some of us still want a physical product, a big colorful sleeve, something to handle with actual weight and dimensions. And so enough of us turned to vinyl to kick up its average sales figures by a couple of points. That’s not going to save record stores, though, especially one like New Dimensions that sells nothing but. Selling predominantly Baltimore club, house, and hip-hop—with plenty of space reserved for funk and soul—this is a store for fanatics and folks with patience. Its three floors are made to get lost in—the third floor,stocked haphazardly with nothing but two and a half decades’worth of house music, is a multiday undertaking in itself.

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dump their media collections in the name of shelf space.See? Everybody wins.

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BEST CD STORE THE SOUND GARDEN 1616 Thames St., (410) 5639011, cdjoint.com ou know a music store is doing something right when it’s expanding in 2008, defying all the terrified entrepreneurs and blog doomsayers who think the CD market has gone tits up.Bazillion-time Best of Baltimore winner Sound Garden may have recently expanded its vinyl and DVD departments,but it’s still slogging away in the CD section as well, remaining the only one-stop shop within city limits for those of us who still occasionally pick up a plastic disc encoded with funny sounds. For one thing, the store’s well-stocked subgenre sections (hardcore metal,out-there jazz,unclassifiable rock) mean you can pick up the latest disc by your favorite skronking weirdo along with brandnew Billboard hits by shiny pop stars.For another,the Sound Garden’s become the city’s default for dropping off your used CDs, meaning the store’s selection of previously owned discs should only get better as external hard drive owners

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ver seen Mondo Cane? Despite our love for all things weird and cinematic, we had somehow never seen the granddaddy of faux-respectable exploitation films. But there it was, staring out at us from the Cult shelf at Video Americain’s Cold Spring Lane store, tempting us, daring us. It was exactly the kind of thing we would never have seen on offer at most bricks-and-mortar rental places, and it probably never would have occurred to us to search it up via some online service. It’s tame compared to even a slow day on today’s interwebs (the humanpiglet nursing and cattle beheading notwithstanding), but we’re really glad we saw it. That’s the kind of serendipitous connection of customer and evening’s diversion that has won this superb regional chain kudos in this category year after year. If you’re looking for it, Video Americain probably has it. If you’re not looking for it but need to see it, whether you know it or not, VA probably has it, too.

BEST PLACE BEST AMPLIFIER TO RENT MOVIES FOR FREE MAKER TONE KING’S MARK ENOCH PRATT FREE BARTEL, 4401 Eastern Ave., (410) 327-6530

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LIBRARY, CENTRAL LIBRARY

400 Cathedral St., (410) 396-5430, s a young man, Mark Bartel www.prattlibrary.org

learned about the inner workings of machines by fixing old tube televisions with his father. In high school, he applied these skills to create his first amp because buying one was too expensive. He rolled one of his amps into a New York music trade show, and people took quick notice. His business started in 1993, making amps with a distinctive retro aesthetic. Guitar Player magazine did a review of his fledgling business, orders started to pour in, and now his unique-looking and -sounding amps are played by the likes of Lou Reed, Mark Knopfler, and Steve Miller.

f Video Americain turns us into auteur-driven film snobs and Netflix turns us into television series junkies,the Enoch Pratt Free Library makes us delightfully eclectic cinema connoisseurs.We never know what we’re going to get next at the library—the complete works of John Cassavetes, movies starring Josephine Baker,conservative documentaries obsessed with glorifying Wal-Mart and attacking Michael Moore— but just looking at their limited, well-chosen selection makes us realize how much we haven’t seen. While the library charges $1.50 for English-

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GOODS & SERVICES language narrative films, we can get all the foreign films and documentaries we want for free. Just imagine: getting rewarded for good, and obscure taste. Now, if only restaurants adopted the same policy.

BEST PHOTO RESOURCE SERVICE PHOTO SUPPLY 3838 Falls Road, (410) 2356200, servicephoto.com here isn’t another photo store in Baltimore that compares to Service Photo. It carries all the major brand names, used and new photo equipment, all manner of lenses,scanners,and studio equipment, and even film-processing stuff.Remember film? If you’re in a fix and need a piece of equipment you can’t afford to buy, you can rent it here. Best of all, the staff is knowledgeable and helpful, and the store’s owner is usually on hand to answer questions or help you find the right tool for the job. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rank amateur,if you have a need for something photo-related, Service is the place to get it.

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BEST YARN STORE BEST HOSTEL LOVELYARNS HI BALTIMORE HOSTEL

846 W. 36th St., (410) 6629276, lovelyarns.com

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BEST BIKE SHOP LIGHT STREET BICYCLES

17 W. Mulberry St., (410) 576-8880, baltimore altimore has so many topnotch hostel.org

yarn stores these days, picking a favorite is a challenge.But if pressed,we have to admit that our heart belongs to Hampden’s Lovelyarns. It may not be as big as some of the other stores, but Lovelyarns owner Sue Caldwell has impeccable taste,from chunky self-stripers,to so-thin-our-handshurt-just-thinking-about-it sock yarn, to beautiful hand-dyed skeins and sumptuous alpacas. And everything is so soft that you can’t wait to get it on your needles.Even if the yarns weren’t to die for,Caldwell herself makes Lovelyarns worth a visit. She is so sweet and helpful—helping us find our drop stitches regardless of whether we buy anything, convincing us not to make a wrap out of that superbulky shedding alpaca even if it means losing a sale. She encourages everyone to hang out and knit, and uses crafts as a force for good,whether holding a fundraiser for one of her regular knitter’s autistic son or working with the Mother Bear Project, a nonprofit that gives knitted and crocheted teddy bears to children in Africa affected by HIV/AIDS.Our only quibble:Why so stingy on the Y’s?

1015 Light St., (410) 685-2234, lightstcycles.com

I stands for Hostel International, OK, stoners? Meaning they are a part of an international hostel ring, so it’s legit, and it only smells a little like socks upstairs. Aside from being the only hostel in Baltimore, HI has plenty of attributes to earn it this award. The communal kitchen is completely renovated with large windows and a door out onto the well-maintained wood deck; the main floor’s sitting/reading room has lovely carved ceilings,mantels,and mirrors along with a working piano; and the basement is equipped with couches,a television,and a hung sheet on the wall for largerscale viewing. The upstairs dorms are the kind of dorms you pay $25 (plus tax and membership fees) for, but what really charmed us, besides the sweet and helpful manager Matt, was the Modern furniture scattered around and just how clean they keep a place where kids from all over the world stay.

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robably anyone who’s ever gotten a bike fixed at a shop knows the snotty bike-tech feeling. You know, you bring it in with a snapped brake cable and you get a sneer—for the bike or because you couldn’t fix it yourself—and are told to come back at the end of the week.And then get charged out the ass for a 15minute fix.Light Street isn’t necessarily the cheapest place to get a bike fixed (could be, hard to say), but we dig that the staff there is sweet as all heck, all of the time, chatty and friendly with folks who might not be, you know, bike nuts or have a rack of tools in their garage.And that goes a long way.

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BEST PET SUPPLY STORE HOWL 3531 Chestnut Ave., (410) 235-2469

BEST AUTO REPAIR SHOP CENTRAL SERVICE

obin McDonald should get a medal for continuing to operate the best pet supply store in town under extenuating circumstances. Since opening in 2003, Howl (formerly Chow, Baby!) has changed Hampden locations three times and its business name. What hasn’t changed, however, is the organic pet food and other pet care products, the neatly kept dog wash, the warm staff who know their customers (and their owners) by name,and the amazing stock of plush pet toys even your nonfurry children will love. Howl is also now home to Bmore Charming School for Dogs.

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AND REPAIR 1026 Eastern Ave., (410) 685-4298 good mechanic is hard to find, and an honest one’s even harder.So when you do find a garage you can trust to cure what ails

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your auto, and not gouge you or run behind schedule, that’s the kind of service you share among loved ones like a family doctor. So if the same family member that passed down a decade-old Taurus also passes on the number of a place that can actually dependably deal with the ancient Ford’s unpredictable and frequent crises, you keep that card in your wallet like your life depends on it. And you pass on the recommendation whenever possible, especially when the folks looking after your car are as nice and as no-nonsense as the guys at Central Service and Repair.

feriority complex)—and also lots of their pricier saltwater cousins. There are also reptiles and amphibians and enough equipment and food to sink a medium-sized vessel.And House of Tropicals is right on the lightrail line, perfect for those without medium-sized vessels with which to transport themselves.

BEST PLACE TO ADOPT A DOG BARCS 301 Stockholm St., (410) 396-4695, baltimore animalshelter.org trip to BARCS is a lot less depressing than one might initially fear.Despite the sad reality of most animal shelters, there’s a positive vibe about the place, perhaps owing to its reorganization from city agency to nonprofit three years ago. They intake 12,000 new animals per month, and handle more than double that number of animal welfare enforcement cases. Yet the facility is clean and the staff motivated, knowledgeable, and friendly. Unlike other shelters, BARCS accepts all animals that are brought to it. On a more practical note, the adoption process, while still rigorous, is more streamlined and even cheaper than that of the SPCA.

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BEST ANIMAL HOSPITAL/VET DOC-SIDE 1705 Bank St., No. 2, (410) 5220055, docsidevet.com

BEST FISH STORE HOUSE OF TROPICALS T K L E I N

7389-F Baltimore-Annapolis Blvd., Glen Burnie, (410) 7611113, houseoftropicals.net

any of our usual fishy haunts have lost some of their luster over the past few years. And these are places that didn’t start out with much luster. Tropical fish stores tend to be crowded, cramped, humid, dark places. Then we came across one of our old favorites,House of Tropicals down in Glen Burnie. Yes, it’s crowded, cramped, humid, and dark, but those crowds are families, full of kids going “wow” at all the colorful,unusual,beautiful critters. They’ve got freshwater fish here,of course—tetras, rainbows, cichlids, livebearers, piranhas (for those with an in-

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hey don’t make TV appearances, hobnob with celebrities, or even advertise much for that matter. What Drs. Irvin Herling and Deborah Tierney, who together founded Doc-Side in 1999, do is provide expert care for pets. The staff at DocSide is unfalteringly kind, patient, and sensitive, from top to bottom.In the unfortunate event of a major procedure, the vets provide a thorough and frank debriefing, and lay out all options (including cost-saving ones) without a hint of pushiness or sanctimony. Being exceptionally considerate of we humans as well as our pets is just one of the attributes that set them apart.

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CITY PAPER BEST OF BALTIMORE 2008

Dining BEST ICE CREAM SHOP Donna Calloway Uses Ice Cream to get People to Eat Their Vegetables BY MARY K. ZAJAC

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believe it or not,” she says earnestly, “a lot of people don’t like vegetables.I wanted to do it so I could include everyone whether they were a vegetable lover or not.” (Early experiments with broccoli discounted that vegetable because Calloway was unable to mask its strong odor.) Once Calloway had the basics down, she took early retirement after 30 years of service at Zurich and sold her home to finance Dominion Ice Cream. The small shop, tucked away in the bottom of an apartment building in the 3100 block of St. Paul Street, just east of the Johns Hopkins Homewood campus, opened in September 2006. Although she’s a bit coy about her process,Calloway allows that the vegetables she uses—spinach, tomatoes, carrots, and sweet potatoes—are not cooked, so their nutritional value is not compromised, and that she uses the entire vegetable (seeds, skin, and all) because of the nutrients found there. “‘Dominion’means restoring what was lost,”she explains, and this ice cream “restores food nutrients.” Spices and “flavors” (like

vanilla) are added to help cut the vegetable taste, but not extra color, so the natural hues of the vegetables come through. Muscle Up (spinach) becomes a vivid spring green; Boney Coney (tomato), a pinkish salmon with tiny magenta streaks; while Sweet Tooth (sweet

spoons of ice cream and urges me to “rub it across your tastebuds.”The vanilla ice cream is Hershey’s French Vanilla and not her own homemade, so the experience is slightly skewed, but I still sense what she means. There’s no trace of spinach in the green ice

“[Kids] don’t care about the vegetables— they just care about how it tastes.” potato) comes out a pale tan, without the orange tones of the vegetable. Following Calloway’s recipes, the vegetable ice creams are made off-premise sby a local dairy that uses milk that is free of artificial growth hormones. As we talk, Calloway has me taste samples of the spinach and vanilla side by side, predicting that the vanilla will taste artificial after the “cleanness” of spinach. She hands me two C I T Y

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cream, only a crisp freshness and simplicity. With the exception of the sweet potato,which has faint spicy nuances of a sweet potato pie, all of the vegetable ice creams taste like vanilla, which is why Calloway refers to them as “varieties” rather than “flavors,” and why she thinks that this is a great way to introduce something healthy into a treat that’s often decadent. According to Calloway, the vegetable ice cream has

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eight grams of sugar, five grams of fat, 99 calories a serving, roughly a third of what you’d find in commercial products like Häagen-Dazs’Vanilla Bean, which has 26 grams of sugar, 18 grams of fat, and 290 calories per serving. Response to the ice cream has been wholehearted. “Some say, ‘Oh no, I’m not gonna try it,’”Calloway reports, but “once they try it they like it. . . . Kids love this ice cream. They don’t care about the vegetables—they just care about how it tastes. Adults can rationalize this, but not kids.” In the future, Calloway would like to offer varieties of ice cream made with corn and with beets. She’d also like to get the ice cream into more stores and especially into schools. But for now,she’s thrilled to see her dream come to fruition. “I come from a place where I always want to help people and give back,”she says quietly. “I want to leave a legacy.I want to make a difference in the world—even with something small like ice cream.”

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Some folks dream of taking it easy once they retire, but Calloway dreamed of vegetable ice cream. She was still employed as a fleet manager at Zurich Insurance in 2005 when, while doing some housework at home, she started thinking about ice cream and how there are flavors based on fruits and nuts and even coffee, but none based on vegetables.“And as a little girl,” Calloway confides, “I always loved vegetables.”She decided to use her love of vegetables to make ice cream that both tasted good and was good for you. The only problem was that Calloway, a petite woman with a strong and active Christian faith, had never made ice cream before. She threw herself into research and experimentation, practicing, she says, until she got her bearings. “It was frustrating trying to find the right ratio” of ingredients, Calloway explains. “I had to pray my way through it and ask God to help me.” The process was made more challenging by the fact that Calloway didn’t want the taste of the vegetables to come through in the ice cream “because,

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T FIRST GLANCE, DOMINION ICE CREAM LOOKS LIKE ANY OTHER ICE CREAM SHOP. Pale green walls, a couple of tables, glass cases filled with different colors of frozen confections. But it’s the poster advertising healthy eating through vegetables that hints that this is “not just a traditional ice cream parlor,” as Dominion’s owner, Donna Calloway will tell you. There are other clues as well. A sign behind the counter reads: “Create your own salad. Choose any three vegetable ice creams.” And there, in the left corner of one of the freezers are four tubs of the softly speckled vegetablebased ice creams, their pale colors contrasting with the eggy yellow of French Vanilla and the neon pink and blue sprinkles of Birthday Cake, two flavors of the Hershey’s ice cream that makes up the rest of Calloway’s ice cream offerings.

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DINING

BEST NEW RESTAURANT WOODBERRY KITCHEN 2010 Clipper Park Road, No. 126, (410) 464-8000, woodberrykitchen.com ands down the most anticipated restaurant opening of the last season,Woodberry Kitchen impresses on so many levels,from its stunning mill-to-restaurant metamorphoses to its real commitment to the farm-to-table philosophy as seen through partnerships with Marvesta Shrimp Farm, Two Oceans Seafood, and Springfield Farm. What other restaurant in town has a barista on staff or filters and carbonates Baltimore tap for a local seltzer, or offers fried hominy, deviled eggs,or house-made kitchen pickles and olives as bar food munchies? In this venture, Chef Spike Gjerde once again proves that he’s not only a man of vision but also of follow-through.

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BEST FANCY RESTAURANT CHARLESTON 1000 Lancaster St., (410) 332-7373, charlestonrestaurant.com here are few places in Baltimore that make you want to don a little black dress and impossibly high heels, but Charleston certainly does. Since their swanky makeovers several years ago,both the dining room and the menu have taken on new lives with “Improvisational Dining,”the buzz phrase used by the restaurant. Multicourse dining options ensure that you can indulge in panseared Hudson Valley foie fras and grilled veal sweetbreads in the same evening, should your heart (and stomach) desire. If all that overwhelms,sink into a banquette while the ultra-professional staff digs deep into the wine list to find you the perfect glass.

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BEST CHEAP RESTAURANT TORTILLERIA SINALOA 1716 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-3741 horizo tacos, barbacoa tacos, lengua tacos, plus the regular suspects, like chicken and pork, each for $2.45-$2.95, make Tortilleria Sinaloa a bargain. But the quality of the food from this

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BEST ICE CREAM SHOP: DOMINION ICE CREAM

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DINING tiny storefront in Fells Point makes it extraordinary. Sidle up to the counter that looks out over bustling Eastern Avenue and pile your tacos with fresh garnishes like chopped onions, creamy guacamole, and hot sauce, or fork out a whole $1.70 for a kilo of tortillas and make your own magic at home. Any way you look at it, it’s a deal.

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BEST KID-FRIENDLY DINING GLORY DAYS GRILL e hesitate to recommend a place to take kids that boasts as many TV screens as this sportsthemed Towson spot does. But if you do TV with your kids,you know few things make a meal easier for everyone than a little Tom and Jerry,and the staff here usually has a few sets tuned to Boomerang for old-school pretoy-tie-in cartoons. But more than that, said staff at this regional chain has never, ever thrown us any ’tude when we show up with the young ’uns in tow,or when we leave maybe just a little bit of a mess. The grownup food—burgers, ribs, salads, pasta, etc.—is decent pub grub (Glory Days is a regional chain),and the kids’menu features something for almost every picky eater. And if all else fails, there’s the Shark Attack, a kid’s cup of Sprite decorated

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1220 E. Joppa Road, Towson, (443) 901-0270, glorydaysgrill.com

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BEST NEW RESTAURANT: WOODBERRY KITCHEN with a hollow plastic shark full of grenadine syrup. Dump the syrup in the soda and it looks like a feeding frenzy over ice. These are clearly people who understand what kids dig.

BEST OUTDOOR DINING KALI’S COURT

BEST STREET VENDOR HERRING RUN

BEST LATE-NIGHT BEST PLACE DINING TO EAT ALONE THE PARTHENON MINATO

1606 Thames St., (410) 2764700, kaliscourt.com

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city set up a few tables and chairs on the sidewalk and call it outdoor dining. In reality, it’s more like sitting in traffic: Pedestrians brush up against your table as they walk by, cars double-park next to you spewing exhaust fumes,and you have absolutely no privacy from the tactless fools who gawk at your plate.That’s why we appreciate the Mediterranean-inspired outdoor patio at Kali’s Court.Despite the fact that it’s right on the street in bustling Fells Point,the patio here is surprisingly private,lush, and comfortable.Lots of angled umbrellas, wrought-iron railings, and planters full of leafy foliage keep the street noise (and fumes and interruptions) at bay.

BEST CHEAP RESTAURANT: TORTILLERIA SINALOA

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f downtown was full of food carts peddling shwarmas,tortas,french fries, barbecue, and chicken tikka masala, we’d be all over that. Alas. But then, while bicycling around Northeast Baltimore one sunny weekend, we stumbled upon the taco truck some enterprising folks had set up adjacent to Herring Run Park,and our hope for decent street food was momentarily kept alive. The tacos here—corn tortillas stuffed with onion, cilantro, and your choice of meat,then squirted with lime juice—aren’t any different or better than those found on Broadway or,say,at office-park construction sites in Howard County.But tacos, on a sunny afternoon,watching pretty decent soccer players kick a ball around in the park: That’s almost paradise.

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8 Park Ave., (410) 637-4040 reek diners are the fucking best.Their menus cover all the diner delights you’re looking for when even late-night dining restaurants are closed,and breakfast when it’s long after last call, acid’s rising up,and nothing but eggs and sausage and pancakes will do.Plus they have the Greek specialties made just a little tastier when artistic visions of Greek landscapes,Greek gods,and maps of all of Greece’s little islands cover the walls. The Parthenon offers Greek salad and blintzes, lemon orzo soup and chicken souvlaki,rice pudding,a hot turkey platter with mashed potatoes, disco fries,and,you know,stuffed and fried and stacked foodstuffs. The coffee isn’t all that, but the service is good,it’s open 24-hours, and the décor will have you wishing they had a little import biz on the side.

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1013 N. Charles St., (410) 332-0332, minatosushibar.com ating alone isn’t merely about a restaurant plopping a single at an open two-top; it’s about the quality of that experience, from adequate lighting for reading, if that’s on the agenda, or simply being able to enjoy a meal without obnoxious bar patrons raising post-happy hour calamity in the background.And that’s why Minato’s sushi bar is such a haven for the single diner. Neither staff nor fellow customers bother a solitary diner there to have a few glasses of white wine,finish The New Yorker, and consume an inordinate amount of unagi,but everybody is also more than convivial should somebody strike up casual dinner conversation. Respectful, friendly, and delicious—not so much to ask for,but so few places offer such simple pleasures.

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t: 410.675.2424/443.845.2192 September 17, 2008


DINING

1101 N. Calvert St., (410) 5391804, theprimerib.com s sophisticated and versatile diners, we can jibe with any establishment’s vibe,from funky casual to chaotic diner to improvisational mix and match, but we have to admit that when we want to feel like we live in a better ZIP code and higher tax bracket, we head to the Prime Rib.Its entire staff—from maître d’hôtel to bartender and servers—impart a professionalism that not only makes you feel like you’re in good hands, but that those hands are there to make sure all you have to do is choose your entrée, appreciate the flavor of simply wellprepared red meat or seafood, masticate, and digest. It’s the level of service you expect at this price point and dress code— jackets, please, sirs—and pampered quality never comes cheap.

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September 17, 2008

BEST PLACE TO READ THE 2006 CITY PAPER HOLIDAY GUIDE THE “DINER” AT CHARLES STREET AND LAFAYETTE AVENUE

I

t seems like Joy Martin, owner of the Club Charles and

2305 Cleanleigh Drive, (410) 661-0630

H O L D E N

BEST RESTAURANT SERVICE THE PRIME RIB

BEST CRAB CAKE PERRING PLACE

rewer’s Art does so much right—a generous happy hour, an outstanding bar menu, atmosphere for any occasion— that it’s amazing that more places haven’t tried to copy its winning formula. This year, a few restaurants decided the time was right, and the restaurateurs and bar owners happened to be former Brewer’s employees. From Annabel Lee in Highlandtown, which steps up the competition for swankiest rowhouse bar in still-gentrifying East Baltimore, to the Hamilton Tavern in Hamilton and the soon-to-be-opened Parkside in Lauraville, Brewer’s Art ex-employees are everywhere in the city, bringing creative American dishes and good beer selections to neighborhoods used to Natty Boh specials. While Brewer’s Art could have taken the low road and franchised itself, we like this solution much more.

B

S A M

small Mediterranean eatery nested in a strip mall on Belair Road isn’t necessarily the first place you might think of to go in search of mystic guidance, but if you’re the sort of person looking for a little divination with your falafel, you’ve come to the right place.The protocol for meeting with a psychic,or palm or tarot card reader is comfortingly casual. You pay for your journey into the unknown at $1 a minute, take a number, and proceed to your table to place your order. When it’s time for your appointment with destiny your server kindly ushers you to a small room in the back behind a red curtain. The readings are relaxed, friendly, and eerily accurate. Once you’ve discovered what the future has in store you can return to your table and enjoy a delicious meal.

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EMPLOYEES OPENING RESTAURANTS

BEST CHINESE RESTAURANT: GRACE GARDEN Zodiac—RIP, sorta—has been renovating this corner diner forever. We know it was a work in progress Oct.31,2003,because we saw the interior for the first time at the Halloween block party held that year. And we know most of the exterior work had been done by December 2006 because the CP 2006 Holiday Guide was used to cover the windows. The thing is, it’s still there, covering those windows. You can read whole stories with their original ads and everything in those win-

dows. So why don’t we have a diner yet? According to our sources,the place is pretty much done and has been for years. And now that Martin has turned Zodiac, one of our favorite vegetarian-friendly restaurants, into an art space, it seems unlikely she’s going to be get back into the food-service game anytime soon.So,we have a request, if you’re not going to open the diner, sell it. We’ve waited long enough to have breakfast after last call in Station North.

(you’d do well with either of the huevos options), is a given, and if the sight of dead cow floating around this Hampden eatery in a turnoff, at least know it’s organically raised.

FOR VEGETARIANS GOLDEN WEST CAFÉ 1105 W. 36th St., (410) 889-8891

hile we had this spot earmarked for the since-shuttered Zodiac—RIP vegan crab cakes—the Golden West was snapping at that restaurant’s heels anyway. Sure you can get your hamburger or steak salad here, but the house-made black bean burger could impress even the bloodthirstiest of carnivores, and put most veg heads in a coma. (The black bean burger can substitute for anything meaty on the sandwich menu.) Breakfast, with about half the menu offering veggie options

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hen looking for the best crab cake in Baltimore, think blue—yes, as in blue crab, but also as in blue hair. ’Cause all around the city and county are those half-forgotten places where the waitresses still wear black dresses and white aprons, the dining room is busier at 5 P.M. than at 8, and the drink of choice is a Manhattan not a lichitini. Peter Angelos’ Perring Place is one of those spots. Located in a strip mall on Perring Parkway that also houses a Home Depot,Perring Place may be old fashioned, but in terms of crab cakes,this is a good thing. If an exemplary crab cake means nuggets of crab, little filler, a dash of Old Bay, and a bit more of dry mustard,that’s what you’ll find here. Like it or lump it.

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BEST CRAB HOUSE MR. BILL’S TERRACE INN

BEST VEGAN RESTAURANT THE YABBA POT 2431 St. Paul St., (410) 6628638, theyabbapotcafe.com e have a friend who claims that the first time he slurped back fresh,unfucked-with juice, he hallucinated—lost his mind with vitamin goodness, we guess. Powerful, no? Fresh juice is one of the more tragically untapped healthful ingestibles out there. You can get all the pure good stuff at the Yabba Pot you need—a glass of liquefied-on-the-spot ginger, garlic, and kale should scrub out the veins just fine—but you’d be a criminal to walk out of the bright, colorful lower Charles Village institution without a taste of something solid. The menu is shifting; an order is typically composed of one main protein dish—a recent visit was a wonderful thick Moroccan stew full of some kind of better-than-chicken soy chucks— and a selection from close to a

BEST RESTAURANT W

H O L D E N

7264 Belair Road, (410) 6685100, amerscafe.com

BEST FORMER EMPLOYEES EX-BREWER’S ART

S A M

BEST PLACE TO HAVE YOUR FORTUNE TOLD WHILE EATING AMER’S CAFÉ

dozen rotating side dishes. (A spicy raw corn chili almost made us weep with joy.) We hear stories from people “resolving” to be vegan or vegetarian, like it’s some kind of chore.They haven’t been to the Yabba Pot.

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200 Eastern Blvd., Essex, (410) 687-5994 he brown paper covering the tables is just like you’d find at any ol’ crab house, as are the garbage bag-lined buckets for well-picked crab parts and the wooden mallets and hard plastic knives. And, golly, the bar area where you wait after putting your name on the evening’s list after the place opens at 4 P.M.—no weekend reservations, natch—could be any TV- and beer advertisementlined bar. No, it’s not the setting that makes Mr. Bill’s Terrace Inn such a treasured crab house, it’s the crabs themselves: large, meaty, and densely coated in a hearty,piquant spice of Mr.Bill’s own creation, they come to the table piping hot and ready to be devoured. Other places have fancier digs or are located closer to the city, but until they can consistently deliver crabs that measure up to Mr. Bill’s, all other players must bow down to this one.

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of FEDERAL HILL

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Japanese Cuisine & Raw Sushi Bar

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CATERING & PARTY TRAYS AVAILABLE! 1035-37 S. Charles Street Baltimore, Md 21230 mon-thur 4-10pm fri 11-3pm/4-11pm sat 4-11pm • sun closed 410.837.0816 • 410.837.0818

NEW FEATURED ITEM EVERYDAY BYOB • Private Party Room Avail Open 7 Days A Week Dinner: Sunday - Thursday 5-10pm Friday & Saturday 5-11pm Delivery and Carry Out Available 322 N. Charles St. Baltimore 410-244-5556

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September 17, 2008


DINING

BEST RAW BAR FAIDLEY’S SEAFOOD Lexington Market, 203 N. Paca St., (410) 727-4898, faidleyscrabcakes.com ating raw oysters is like betting on the ponies: It should be done in the company of people, either friends or people who could become friends, and ideally with beer. Luckily Baltimore has Faidley’s at Lexington Market,where anybody from suit-clad brokers to construction workers can belly up to the raw bar and know the cut of his jib doesn’t matter to the man shucking the shells, arranging them on the Styrofoam plate, and passing it over to you with an ice-cold one. OK, sure, the fivemartini lunch has gone the way of carbs, but if anybody tries to tsk-tsk the dozen oysters and two light beers lunch into stigmataville,well,there’s gonna be a riot.

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C H R I S T O P H E R M Y E R S

BEST DINER BROADWAY DINER 6501 Eastern Ave., (410) 631-5666, broadwaydiner1.com

BEST MEXICAN RESTAURANT: FIESTA MEXICANA

BEST BREAKFAST BEST BRUNCH JIMMY’S GERTRUDE’S RESTAURANT

iners tend to get blurred together in our clouded mind, with one 100-page menu flowing into another into another into another. What makes Broadway Diner—which is way out on Eastern Avenue, not in Fells Point,despite what it’s name might suggest— stand out among these purveyors of meat loaf,moussaka, and marble-lined bathrooms is something approaching care. That meat loaf has honest-to-gosh seasoning in it and is piled up like fancy “tall food.”Sure,that trend is so last year, but someone back in the kitchen bothered to stack it like that.And the steamed vegetables that come with probably aren’t straight from the farmers market,but they might be, because they sure taste good and aren’t an overcooked mush. Plus, the management and waitstaff all seem on their game, and that marble-lined bathroom is pretty darn clean.

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September 17, 2008

801 S. Broadway, (410) 327-3273 nstitution enough to not need much of a formal introduction, Jimmy’s has been offering diet-testing, diner-style breakfast food for decades now, and all without feeling the need to tart up its pig and fowl staples as if they were haute cuisine. If you’re looking for a big ol’plate piled with the breakfast all-stars—bacon, eggs, pancakes, et al.— Jimmy’s no-nonsense waitstaff will serve it up quick, if only to get you in and out to lessen the backup by the door. What keeps us coming back is not just the no-fuss vibe or the menu stuffed with comfortfood faves, but specifically the scrapple, with this fussy, potentially mushy meat-stuff fried to just the right crispy consistency. It’s not the kind of thing you should (or can) eat every day, mind you, but for that “special” breakfast when the folks are in town, it sure beats an organic eggwhite omelette with sprouts any morning of the week.

I

Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (410) 889-3399, gertrudesrestaurant.com fter a night out on the town, a cup of good coffee and a sparkling mimosa followed by a plate of eggs hits the spot, almost regardless of where you’re recovering. And then there are weekends made special by a birthday, the in-laws, a ladies’ afternoon, or a romance that either needs more or less time under the sheets. Either way, an early afternoon fete at Gertrude’s in the Baltimore Museum of Art is yummy, festive, and comfortable, too. The courtyard is open during the warmer months for dining outside in the sculpture garden, while the same offers a lovely view when cooler weather brings everyone inside. And John Shields’ Chesapeake-influenced menu offers many seafood flavors, along with the traditional eggs Benedict, omelets, soups, burgers, and sandwiches, giving Gertrude’s that little something special whether you are out to address your headache or dressed to impress.

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6310 YORK ROAD • 410-435-2700 Approx. 3 blocks north of Northern Parkway. PAGE 102

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DINING

BEST BAGELS GREG’S BAGELS Belvedere Square, 519 E. Belvedere Ave., (410) 323-9463 e like that in this age of mounting foodie perfectionism, the bagels at Greg’s sometimes look,well,less than perfect. Their roundness isn’t Platonic, and their thickness varies a tad around the curve. The chocolate chips or Vidalia onion chunks are well distributed, but not always tidily so. It reminds us that the indefatigable Greg Novik and crew make the dozen or so varieties every day, with their own hands,and the care shows up in the rewarding flavor, which matters more than showcase-readiness in our book. Factor in the gourmet ingredients and the equally gourmet assortment of custom-imported smoked fish and homemade schmears and toppings, and Greg’s is an imperfectly perfect thing.

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he name may sound alarms—we can quit anytime,we swear—and its hours aren’t as long as we’d like, but it’s hard to beat the ambiance of Koffee Therapy. The piles of reading material make it an easy place to go when you’re trying to pass the time, and the range of seating options, from hard chairs to soft couches, plus wireless make it a perfect place for getting work done, meeting friends, or trying to get away with a cheap date. The outdoor garden in the temperate months is one of Mount Vernon’s better-kept secrets, and the off-of-Charles location keeps the riffraff away. Ceramic cups, baristas who know how to do more than just push buttons, and a lightfare menu to settle that caffeine headache makes Koffee Therapy the kind of place you can while away an entire day.

T

e here at Baltimore’s Plainest Alt-Weekly like a cup of coffee—and that’s it. No funny stuff. But it’s difficult to find a good, no less great, cup of coffee around here, even at places that employ so-called baristas and supposedly specialize in coffee. But at—who knew?—the Towson public library, there’s ’Spro, serving up cup after cup of delicious,dark, bitter, woody, chocolatey coffee that pleasantly lingers on the tongue after you’ve sipped. The baristas (and it’s safe to call them that here),even when they’re just pouring a cup of joe, make sure the cream/sugar/coffee ratio is perfect;they’re not going to let you dump that stuff in there yourself and mess it up. The folks at the ’Spro travel far and wide to get their coffees from good places, too, like Hines out of Vancouver and Rancho San Francisco from Chiapas,Mexico. They also serve espressos,cappuccinos, etc. here, of course, and have nice selection of snacks and Mexican sodas, but we’re sticking with coffee and a splash of cream. Perfect.

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M Y E R S

6 E. Franklin St., (410) 5856101, koffeetherapy.com

Baltimore County Public Library, 320 York Road, Towson, (410) 296-0023, sprocoffee.com

C H R I S T O P H E R

BEST COFFEE SHOP KOFFEE THERAPY

BEST CUP OF COFFEE THE ’SPRO

BEST SWEET TEA TEAVOLVE 1401 Aliceanna St., (410) 522-1907, teavolve.com eavolve, known best for its diverse hot alchemy selections, crossed over to the icy side with its sweet tea. Now we here in Baltimore don’t take too kindly to what Southerners call “sweet tea.” It’s just sugar water to us, doing a little diabetic tango with our bloodstream. But we were truly surprised,if not stunned, by the lovely elixir served up by Teavolve one hot summer day.The sweetness swirled beautifully with a complicated blend of fruits and tea leaves in a tall, sweaty glass.

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BEST CRAB HOUSE: MR. BILL’S TERRACE INN September 17, 2008

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Every Day Has an

Bring the pleasure back to any day. Enjoy impeccable seafood with Mediterranean flair in the heart of historic Fells Point.

1606 Thames St., Baltimore, MD 21231, 410-276-4700, www.kaliscourt.com

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BE BOLD Thank You

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MONDAY-FRIDAY STARTING AT 11AM OPEN FOR LUNCH $9 CHEF’S SANDWICH AND SOUP PAIRINGS (A WHOLE SANDWICH & CUP OF SOUP)

TUESDAY 5PM-TILL SHORE NIGHT! $1 OYSTERS $2 STEAMED CRABS $16 11/4 LB GRILLED LOBSTER $1 EAR CORN $7/14 (1/2 LB/LB) STEAMED SHRIMP $15 BUCKET OF CLAMS

WEDNESDAY 5PM-TILL CHEF’S SELECTION NIGHT $10 SMALL PLATES $15 BOTTLES OF WINE $20 PRIX FIXE MENU

36 EAST CROSS ST. BALTIMORE, MD

410.539.2093

1 Oysters 3 Draft Beer $ 4 Select Wines $ 5 Small Plates $

$

www.ryleighs.com September 17, 2008


DINING

IT’S GAME TIME

HAPPY HOUR H O L D E N

Every Day 4-7 & DURING ALL RAVENS GAMES!

S A M

$2.50 Imports $1.50 Domestics 1/2 Price Select Appetizers

AMERICAN GRILL AND SPANISH CUISINE

Mon. - Sun 11:30am-2:00am 3508 EASTERN AVE. HIGHLANDTOWN 410.675.1485

BEST BAKERY: GOLDMAN’S KOSHER BAKERY

BEST BAKERY BEST CAKE BEST GOLDMAN’S KOSHER PATISSERIE POUPON BAKERY MARSHMALLOW DOUGHNUT FENWICK BAKERY 6848 Reisterstown Road, Pikesville, (410) 358-9625, goldmanskosherbakery.com

f course the bagels are good at this kosher bakery,but it’s everything else that sets the 43-year-old Goldman’s apart. Fresh baked loaves of challah, rye, and wheat breads (which the friendly counterwomen kindly slice for you should you need) are both affordable and tasty, but it’s the diabetes-inducing assortment of pastries and desserts that keep you coming back, from the prune or poppy seed hamentaschen to the apricot rugelach and wide variety of cookies, Goldman’s has a lovely, tasty treat to satisfy any sweet tooth. And don’t worry—when you have to give up sugar once and for all, Goldman’s has an envious case of sugar-free items on hand, too.

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)T´SĂ&#x;A BEAUTIFULĂ&#x; THING

820 E. Baltimore St., (410) 332-0390

ure, Baltimore is the home of cakes that look like, well, anything you want them to look like, but sometimes classic is the only way to go. Patisserie Poupon’s cakes (should we call them gateaux?) have names like Triomphe (chocolate cream, genoise, raspberry syrup and preserves) and Opera (almond cake,chocolate ganache, and coffee buttercream) and are filled with mousses in flavors like black currant or passionfruit. And yeah, butter, eggs, and cream abounds. These are cakes you can love.

S

7219 Harford Road, (410) 444-6410, thefenwick bakery.com he marshmallow doughnut is a beacon of hope in a world of disappointing Dunkins and oversugared Prunes. As Baltimore as a Berger’s, the marshmallow doughnut really shines at Fenwick, where the pastry is as light as air, the marshmallow filling is fluffy, soft, sweet, and marginally sticky (in the best way), and the whole treat is coated lightly in powdered sugar. If you’re a kid,it’s not too sweet.If you’re over 8, you’re gonna need a big glass of milk or two over the counter painkillers, because it packs a serious sugar rush. But knowing that we’re no longer strong enough to withstand the joys we once treated so cavalierly in our youth never holds us back.

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DINING

BEST PIE DANGEROUSLY DELICIOUS PIES 3547 Chestnut Ave, (410) 662-7437, dangerouspies.com S A M

here are good ideas,and then there are great ideas—visionary, paradigm-altering reinventions. Good idea: open up a rock ’n’roll pie shop.Great idea: pulled-pork barbeque pie.Rodney Henry may or may not be the first to think of it, but really, who cares? Link Wray wasn’t the first guy to strap on a guitar either. Pulled. Pork. Barbeque. Pie.

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WE CATER TO IRISHMEN OF ALL NATIONALITIES

bruniesbakery.com ne of the best things about Artscape are the masterworks aesthetically fleshed out for the tongue and its buds. This year’s best sweet stuff was on display in the organic food mart courtesy of Brunie’s Bakery. Not a bakery in the traditional sense,Brunie’s doesn’t have a storefront, but its sweets are available at select counters around town,

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H O L D E N

BEST VEGAN BAKED GOODS BRUNIE’S BAKERY

BEST CAKE: PATISSERIE POUPON such as Red Emma’s and Patterson Perk. And Brunie’s baked goods are 100 percent animal free, a pretty impressive feat seeing as the main ingredients in so many bakery treats are butter and eggs. Even more impressive is the fact that Brunie’s eggless pastries, sans-cheese cheesecake, and even sugar-free donuts are delicious.

BEST SNO-BALL WALTHER GARDENS Walther and Southern avenues, (410) 426-0546 ne of the greatest things about grabbing a sno-ball at Walther Gardens is the environment. It’s hard to mess up crushed ice and syrup.There are variations on the theme, but typically, you know what you’re getting. At Walther Gardens, though, you can peruse the greenhouses in search of portulaca or silocia. Or you

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THE ONLY THING WE OVERLOOK S A M

IS THE HARBOR visit us online at www.catseyepub.com

H O L D E N

FELLS POINT FESTIVAL

LIVE MUSIC NIGHTLY AND

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 4TH

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WEEKEND AFTERNOONS

34%6% +2!%-%2 4(% ",5%3)#)!.3 0- 0!449 2%%3% $!6% #(!00%,, "!.$ .)'(4

IRISH, BLUES, JAZZ, CLASSIC ROCK, ZYDECO 1730 THAMES STREET IN HISTORIC FELL’S POINT BALTIMORE, MD 21231 / 410 276-9866

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