Child magazine | DBN Spring Sep/Oct/Nov 2019 by Hunter House Publishing

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spring 2019

your guide to Education 4.0 how to raise & educate your child to be at home (and happy) in the world

social media

top tips to keep children safe online at home & at school

ready, steady

SPRING

outdoor toys

summer snacks

whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on in your city

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e n t e r t a i n m e n t

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contents

magaz ne

spring 2019 - the tech & toy issue

publisher

upfront

Lisa McNamara lisa@childmag.co.za

4 pub’s note Helping our children identify what makes them unique

editorial

6 over to you Our readers have their say and share their news and views

features

18 let’s play Our pick of the best outdoor toys, from small to big

22 recipes Try these yummy allergyfriendly recipes

24 tech How to protect your child from the pitfalls and dangers of social media

28 what’s on this spring Family events, workshops, holiday programmes and open days

regulars

8 health Answers to your most frequentlyasked questions about children’s health

30 finishing touch A royal send-off (and second appearance) for a family pet

10 baby Labour day, use our handy checklist to ensure you have everything you and baby need on the big day 12 dealing with difference How to help a dyslexic child overcome and triumph

31 a good read Story and resource books to help young and old deal with emotions, difference and social issues

29 let’s party Durban’s best party resource

20 parenting When exam fever strikes, manage stress and anxiety using these top tips

art

Designers Laura Davey studio@childmag.co.za Thea Woodman

client relations

Renee Bruning renee@childmag.co.za

print & digital advertising

classified ads

14 parenting Prepare your child now for tomorrow’s digitalised workplace

Editor editor@childmag.co.za Resource Editor durban@childmag.co.za Freelance Copy Editor Brenda Bryden Online Content Manager online@childmag.co.za

30 family marketplace Family and community-related resource

Lisa McNamara lisa@childmag.co.za

subscriptions & circulation Nicolene Baldy subs@childmag.co.za

accounts

cover image supplied by: Jana Lubbe Photography

Nicolene Baldy admin@childmag.co.za 0861 867 885

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Durban’s Child Magazine is published quarterly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 6, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 0861 867 885, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for four issues) cost R150, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by CTP. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child Magazine. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

Joburg’s Child magazine 55 207 Cape Town’s Child magazine 47 958 Durban’s Child magazine 40 117 Pretoria’s Child magazine 40 189 Free requested Oct 18 – Dec 18

pub’s note what makes you uniquely human? What are your attributes and aptitudes? As parents, we need to take the time to think this through, so that we can help our children identify what makes them uniquely human. It is important if we are to ensure that our children are prepared for a world that they, and we, cannot yet fathom. We need to remind ourselves of some basics, and stick to the core of what makes us, us. More importantly, we need to single out what makes our children unique – helping them play to their strengths and not pushing them to grow into a constructed (parental/societal/peer pressured) idea of what it means to be successful. The question that plagues parents and teachers is “how can learners prepare for an increasingly uncertain future?” The good news is that much research has been done on this topic and one of the findings is that as parents we must hone in on what is at our children’s very core and grow that! If we get that right, then the next generation will truly have the best chance of succeeding in every sense of the word. Read more on this topic in our informative piece about preparing your child for the digital future (page 14) and watch the video for advice on what you can do to ready your child for Industry 4.0. It will make you smile, refresh your mind, and equip you to live and parent with purpose and confidence.

page Lisa McNamara, Publisher

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magazine | durban spring 2019

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letters

over to you

Have your say – send your thoughts, suggestions and feedback to editor@childmag.co.za

I found the article on sleepovers (childmag.co.za/content/safe-home#. XVKGH3B4JFQ) interesting. We are also against sleepovers, but our sevenyear-old daughter bugged us about sleeping at a friend. We reluctantly went ahead and arranged it, but on condition that there had to be more than two of them at the sleepover. So, it was arranged that my daughter and a friend would sleep over at another friend’s home. The feedback afterwards was that my daughter missed us and even though she had fun, she was scared being in a strange house. She told us she doesn’t want to sleep over again until she is older. She has made her mind up about it already. Robs

to Potchefstroom Girls High – a brilliant school. But, she did not cope emotionally away from home. She came back this year and I have placed her in a public school, which she dislikes and feels is toxic for her. I believe in education and the happiness of the child. The nearest school to take her to is a private one, but I have not budgeted for the higher fees this year. Your opening note made me think that a school should be a place of joy and should strive to champion and ignite the imagination of a child so they can engage and learn with optimism. This made me think that I don’t want to regret not listening to her when she says the school is toxic. I hope I will make the right decision. Thank you and please comment if you have some thoughts to share with me on my decision-making journey. Zodwa Mhlangu

education and happiness

Child Mag responds: We are sorry to hear that your daughter is so

Thank you for your issue of Child Mag about schools (Winter 2019, The Education Issue). It has been a difficult year for me. My 14-year-old daughter is in Grade 9 this year. When she was in Grade 5, she knew she wanted to go

unhappy. The fact that you are really listening to her is encouraging and

sleepover dilemma

magazine | durban spring 2019

certainly the best place to start. It is also helpful for us, as parents to get help. Have you enlisted the help of the school and asked them what is really going on? They may have a counsellor who could help you and

your daughter. We would suggest speaking to a professional outside of the school environment; an educational psychologist may be a huge help in determining the best type of learning environment for your child. A therapist may, on the other hand, assist her with coping mechanisms that will assist her now and throughout her life. We wish you and your daughter all the best.

safety skills for children Crime is a reality in South Africa and equipping our children with essential safety information will help them pre-empt and appropriately handle any danger they may encounter. A child’s safety is a top priority for any parent and ensuring they are responsible is a necessity. Teaching them not to engage or leave their school’s premises with any strangers, especially overfriendly individuals, is the golden rule, but it is just one of many important rules. Children waiting to be fetched after school should always stay inside the school’s premises. If they usually walk home, parents should advise their children to walk in a group. Some communities have started “walking buses”, where adults walk with a group of children on their way to or from school as an added safety and security element.

If children have to make their way home alone, advise them to stick to familiar roads and avoid quiet sideroads, alleys or fields. Children who are alone at home should not open the door to strangers and have all the emergency numbers pre-programmed on their mobile phones. Charnel Hattingh, national marketing and communications, Fidelity ADT

Send your letters or comments to

editor@childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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q&a

health

your health questions answered

why does my child always wet her bed? Bedwetting is a form of enuresis, or loss of bladder control. Trish Holgate, a social worker who specialises in counselling children, says: “A child under the age of about four years who is wetting their bed should really not be considered enuretic. While the parent may long for dry sheets, the child may still not have the required bladder control. Even once dryness has been achieved, the odd wet bed can be expected. It should resolve itself by about the age of seven.”

two types of enuresis Primary enuresis refers to when a child has never managed to achieve dryness at night. There are three contributing factors: • going into a very deep sleep and not waking up from the sensation of a full bladder • having a small functional bladder capacity • the overproduction of urine while sleeping (polyuria), caused by a lack of an antidiuretic hormone. This affects about 60% of sufferers. Secondary enuresis refers to children who have achieved dryness at night but then begin wetting their beds again. Causes can be:

bedwetting solutions Solutions vary, depending on the cause and nature of the enuresis. It is important to show confidence in your child’s ability to eventually control their bladder function. Letting your child know that you also suffered from this when you were a child provides comfort and reassurance. If you are concerned, let your GP examine your child and advise you of the appropriate steps to take. Medication such as an antidiuretic hormone can slow down urine production at night. Certain foods such as dairy products, caffeine, carbonated drinks and acidic foods irritate the bladder and should be eliminated. Many parents swear by the use of a bed alarm. A sensor is placed inside the child’s underclothes and is connected to an alarm that goes off if the child starts to urinate. It is important to remember that bedwetting is not bad behaviour that needs to be punished.

what is creche syndrome?

Creche syndrome refers to an ongoing cycle of colds, sniffles and more serious illnesses when young children are infected at a creche or pre-school where they come into contact with other children daily. After repeated infections, their immune systems become compromised. Cape Town paediatrician Dr Hanneke Heyns says creche syndrome strikes from eight or nine months old, when some babies start daycare, and is prevalent among toddlers. “These children have constantly runny noses; it’s usually clear, sometimes with a mild fever attached and there may be coughing from a postnasal drip. It’s about the continuous virus load, one after another, that wears down their health,” she says.

• constipation • urinary tract infections • congenital defects Interestingly, enuresis is three times more common in boys, and a child is 70% more likely to develop this condition if both parents were enuretic themselves, suggesting a strong hereditary link.

Babies have no immunity at birth aside from their mother’s antibodies. Young children need contact with a certain amount of viruses so that if they catch a cold, their bodies can make antibodies to build resistance. But creche syndrome doesn’t build enough resistance because of the unrelenting cycle of illness.

fight it with food Many toddlers are fussy eaters and parents fall into the trap of feeding them something they know they’ll eat; often frozen and processed meals instead of nutritious foods. Their immune systems and gut health become impaired so they catch colds frequently and become constipated.

magazine | durban spring 2019

creche syndrome checklist: ask questions when antibiotics are prescribed. Colds, flu and gastro are caused by a virus. Antibiotics don’t kill a virus; they only kill bacteria. Viruses can cause throat and ear infections, but bacterial infections play a bigger role. give your child an annual influenza vaccine, available from the age of six months onwards. parents can only relieve the symptoms of creche syndrome. If these danger signs are present, alert your doctor: persistent fever with a temperature above 38°C; fast breathing; a chesty cough and wheezing; green nasal mucus; diminished interest in eating and drinking; and vomiting. don’t dry out a runny nose. Use a saltwater nose spray to loosen the phlegm. Steam and elevated sleeping also help.

why is my child the shortest in the class? A growth problem can occur at any age and have any number of causes, from genetic to malnutrition, certain syndromes (PraderWilli and Turner), skeletal disorders, head injuries, chronic medical conditions (kidney, heart, lung and intestinal diseases), serious illnesses (meningitis, encephalitis and brain tumours) and an underactive thyroid. “Most children don’t have a serious problem with growth and will eventually reach a height that’s similar to that of their parents,” says Dr Yasmeen Ganie, a paediatric endocrinologist at Inkosi Albert Luthuli Hospital in Durban. But some have Growth Hormone Deficiency (GHD) and need treatment.

injecting hope GHD is treated with daily injections until the growth areas of the bones close. “In severe deficiency, treatment may continue into adulthood at a lower dose,” says Ganie. Parents are taught to give the shots, and once they’re older, the children themselves. If a diagnosis is made early enough and a child responds well, they can grow to their normal or near-normal adult height potential, but it’s important to have realistic

expectations. Growth hormones can’t override genetic potential, and if both parents are short, the child will probably be short too. (To estimate their adult height, average your height and your partner’s, then add 7cm for a boy or subtract 7cm for a girl.) A slowing of growth can be noticed from around age two, it’s usually diagnosed when children start school and their height is compared to others their age, or at puberty when short children can become selfconscious, or subjected to teasing.

when to act All children need to be measured twice a year and their growth plotted on growth charts. Ask your GP about seeing a paediatrician or paediatric endocrinologist when your child: • is shorter than most others of the same age and the same gender • has a face that looks younger than his peers, a chubby build and prominent forehead with small hands and feet • has delayed puberty (lack of breast development by 13 years in girls, lack of testicular enlargement by 14 in boys). For more information, contact semdsa.co.za

best for baby

new baby on the way? Be prepared when baby decides to enter the world. Our handy checklist of must-haves, suggestions, and a few nice-to-haves will ensure you’re all set for the big day. Child Magazine

start sooner rather than later By 37 weeks you should have made the majority of your purchases so that you can enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy. This is especially important for your hospital bag because you never know when you might need it.

pack that bag

PHOTOGRAPH: ISTOCKPHOTO.COM

Try to have your bag packed by around week 36 of your pregnancy. Knowing you’ve got everything you need for your baby’s birth will make you feel more relaxed. Check with your hospital or birthing centre to see what they have available for your use while in labour.

Use this checklist to see you have all you need: prepared for labour A comfortable, loose-fitting nightie or T-shirt that you can wear during labour. A water bottle and some sweets. Any snacks or drinks you or your partner might like. Lip balm. Hairbrush. Warm socks (your feet may get very cold during labour). Massage equipment and any oils or creams. Heat pack. Camera and video camera (ask before you start taking video footage). Music to play during the birth of your baby.

for hospital Some hospitals and birth centres supply all of baby’s needs while you are there, check what they supply and what you need to add. Remember to pack these essentials for your stay in hospital: 3 easy-to-open night clothes (for breastfeeding) 3 nursing bras, nipple cream and breast pads Dressing gown and slippers Toiletries and make-up kit Plenty of underwear, perhaps even some disposable 2–3 packs of maternity sanitary pads Day clothes and an outfit for leaving the hospital An outfit for baby when leaving the hospital: babygro, socks or booties,

magazine | durban spring 2019

cardigan, beanie if cold, and a blanket for in the car. welcome home little one Budget for these essentials first. Besides nappies, nappy cream and all the other everyday necessities, here are the top 10 must-have baby items: pram/stroller/travel system car seat cot or bassinet baby carrier baby monitor first-aid kit breast pump nursing pillow baby/nappy bag bath changing table or compactum

find the best deal online There’s no need to pound the pavements, especially when you are heavily pregnant. Why not shop online? Your options are endless, from Gumtree and Facebook groups to top-of-the-range online baby stores. Try using a comparison site such as PriceCheck to find the best deal and compare prices and specifications online. Some items such as baby carriers, prams and camper cots should be seen or tried before being purchased. In these cases, you can start your search in-store and then compare online or vice versa. Try both large and small retailers, but well-stocked boutiques like Kids Emporium will have all your new baby needs.

nappies, nappies and more nappies If you find nappies on sale, buy them regardless of their size – even if you are still pregnant. You can never have too many nappies! PriceCheck has a handy Nappy Alert feature to make sure you receive

alerts when nappy prices drop. Also consider using environmentallyfriendly nappies, Faithful to Nature is just one great online source.

don’t break the bank The best products don’t necessarily need to cost a small fortune. Musthave items do not need to be expensive, top of the range or even brand new, there are often very good second-hand, barely worn items advertised for sale. Compare, shop around, ask for recommendations and deals on social media and join groups that meet both face-to-face and through online groups to find the guidance and support you need.

Buying a baby monitor? Here are our tips: childmag.co.za/content/baby-monitors

Some items such as baby carriers, prams and camper cots should be seen or tried before being purchased.

dealing with difference

words don’t come easy

For dyslexic children, reading and sounding words is a huge challenge, but with perseverance and help, they can overcome this difficulty. juliet newberry

magazine | durban spring 2019

to turn those “I can’t do” statements into “I can do” and “I love to”. Over the past several years, I have had the wonderful opportunity to bring the best that learning science has to offer to many individuals struggling with their reading in the Johannesburg area.

what is dyslexia? The Yale Centre for Dyslexia and Creativity defines dyslexia as “an unexpected difficulty in reading in an individual who has the intelligence to be a much a better reader. While people with dyslexia are slow readers, they are often very fast and creative thinkers, with strong reasoning abilities”. Children with dyslexia often struggle with: 1. the sounds of letters 2. decoding words 3. knowing the phonetic code, such as the

PHOTOGRAPH: david baldow | unsplash

an you imagine picking up a book and encountering text that is so difficult to read that not many words make sense? You look around and notice all the other children are giggling as they read, answering the teacher’s questions and seemingly enjoying the story that just makes no sense to you? This is the plight of 5–10% of children in school today. Some sources say that 17% of the world’s population have or may be identified with dyslexia. As an educator with family members who have been diagnosed with reading disabilities, I am all too familiar with the struggles that many learners encounter with reading text. I have also heard, way too many times, comments such as “I can’t do this”, “I am stupid” or “my brain is broken” among many other negative comments of defeat and pain from young learners. My educational career goal is

how to help your child long versus short vowel rule or when “c” should make a hard “k” sound as in “cat” versus a soft sound “s” as in “city” 4. auditory analysis spelling 5. reading the words To be a fluent reader, children need accuracy, speed and prosody: • accuracy: This involves reading words correctly. Students who have excessive miscues when they read, do not read with accuracy. • speed: The ability to recognise words automatically, without having to decode or process them. • prosody: This includes reading with feeling, intonation, phrasing and expression. This helps us to see that the child understands what they are reading.

at school Ensure that your child is receiving highly individualised and intensive instruction that explicitly and systematically teaches them the phonetic code through a well-designed and sequential curriculum. Speak to your child’s teacher, or the head of department if necessary. Find out if the school has a highly qualified professional to provide evidence-based reading interventions. You can also ask them about Response to Intervention (RTI.) RTI is a model of intervention that provides the child with general reading support in a smaller group with instruction typically being delivered by the general education teacher.

at home Make sure you provide enriching reading activities for your child: • notice your child’s strengths • celebrate every success • be honest with yourself and set realistic goals • read aloud to your child; it’s fun and helpful • keep your child engaged by reading together • pick books that your child loves • play rhyming games • build vocabulary through games such as 20 questions Remember that all children can learn to read. For some children, it may require just a little bit more work.

WATCH VIDEO How to prepare your children for a digital future http://bit.ly/31WvCMj

the future is digital get your children ready

How do we prepare our children for a future we can’t predict? And careers we can’t even imagine? Here’s what you can do to get your children ready for Industry 4.0. Child magazine

e live in a digitally disrupted world – where a tweet can tank an economy, where currencies are losing their value; where our digital footprints lead to our front door; and where climate is changing the financial landscape. The world as we know it has changed and nowhere more than in business, banking and money. This is the new frontier. The relentless pace of technological innovation is transforming the way we work and live. Developments in artificial intelligence (AI), machine learning, automation and robotics pose a threat to human jobs, but it’s not just menial and repetitive trades at risk. The ability to compute billions of data in seconds, without the influence of human emotion will supplant professions such as diagnostic medicine, accounting and actuarial science. Thankfully, though, the technologies that characterise the fourth industrial revolution will do more than simply replace existing jobs. They will also create new career opportunities and forever reshape the context of work in our lives.

new career paths will emerge The question that plagues parents and teachers is how can learners and scholars today prepare for such an increasingly uncertain future? What we know for sure is that to participate in the digitalised workplace of tomorrow, today’s youth will require a new set of skills and a vastly different approach to education. To help elucidate the dynamics at play and contextualise the skills that the younger generation requires to function in the future workplace, Investec sponsored an event at the South African College School (SACS) 14

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that hosted Sameer Rawjee as a keynote speaker. Rawjee is a founder of the Life Design Lab at Google and the current CEO of O-School, which helps companies design their organisation for the evolving workplace. He also helps South African schools adopt the Mars curriculum, an education programme that aligns with technology education standards and aims to prepare students for the future of work.

how to prepare your children for a digital future Rawjee explained to pupils, parents and teachers at the event that the impact of AI and other industry 4.0 technologies will reshape traditional career options for today’s youth. “We’re effectively trying to prepare our children for a new world of work where traditional careers may no longer exist, and new, previously unimagined options will emerge. It’s a world for which we have no knowledge or experience, which is enough to make anyone anxious. But I’m also hopeful that this uncertainty excites us, at least a little, for the many possibilities and opportunities it holds.” Our children’s ability to exploit these opportunities and thrive in a future technology-dominated world will depend on the skills and abilities we empower them with today. It is, therefore, pertinent to ask if our current formal education system, which is predicated on a predetermined set of outcomes, is sufficient to prepare them for this future?

how can schools future-proof children? Rawjee believes that the basic subjects of maths, science and biology will remain relevant. “These are building blocks of knowledge. Children

PHOTOGRAPH: ISTOCKPHOTO.COM

parenting

need this foundation to apply their acquired knowledge. If we’re always focused on the leaf of knowledge, we don’t know which branch it came from and we won’t know anything about the source of that knowledge – the trunk from which it extends or the soil from where it began. “We need to understand the entire ecosystem of first-principle thinking to know where knowledge came from and what it means. As such, there is still immense value in this kind of education, but is it enough?” According to Rawjee, the obvious answer is, no. “We also need to think about how we connect this knowledge, which is why some schools are introducing the STEAM syllabus – science, technology, engineering, mathematics and arts. This is based on the idea that technology is just a tool that humans apply. “However, you can only learn about humans through the arts and humanities. By adding the arts to our curriculums we are, in a sense, connecting all of these topics to determine how best to apply technology and layer this approach with new ideas.” In this context, it’s worth questioning whether a loss of jobs and traditional career paths deserves such concern because our current concept and understanding of work is an archaic social construct that emerged during the first industrial revolution.

career prototyping “We need to understand that there’s no specific career for which a child can prepare. We can only impart the skills needed to envisage and create different careers – what I call career prototyping,” explains Rawjee. This requires a focus on a concept he refers to as systems thinking. “It’s basically an understanding that the world is just a series of systems. When we understand that every subject is connected to every other topic within a bigger system, we can begin to organise information and deliver it in a school format that helps to connect the dots through systems thinking.” This is an essential skill required to function in an augmented world, where man increasingly works with machines, rather than being disintermediated by technology. This collaboration between machines and humans will enhance workplace efficiency and will free human resources from mundane and menial work to focus on areas that can add value to the business and redirect human intellect to work on tasks from which we can derive greater meaning and purpose. “This new workplace paradigm will fulfil the promise of work, giving humans the ability to be creative, express their ideas and spend their time building solutions that will move the world forward. Technology

parenting

“Robinson’s five kinds of intelligences help us realise our greatest levels of human creativity. These aspects of intelligence are what future employers will look for in potential employees so that they can effectively navigate their future uncertain paths,” Rawjee explains. “In this regard, I wholeheartedly believe that if we focus on what it means to be human, follow our passion and think about and contemplate why we are here, then we will, without doubt, align our future trajectory with a career that will help us realise our best self and find true meaning in the world.”

will help us achieve this dream because all of the so-called grunt work will happen in the background by AI, which is truly exciting.” “Instead of thinking about a career in your particular craft for 30 years, you need to think about being multiskilled, independent and massively flexible in as many different working environments as possible,” says Marc Kahn, global head of organisational development and human resources at Investec. “So you think about yourself on a horizontal axis of capabilities rather than a vertical axis of specialisation. You need some specialisation, but the idea of being multiskilled and being able to work independently in different environments will be the differentiator for those who are more successful in the future,” says Kahn.

magazine | durban spring 2019

focus on what makes us uniquely human However, carving out man’s new niche in this technology-dominated world will require a focus on developing the human faculties that intelligent machines and robots can’t mimic or acquire,” states Rawjee. “We need to think about those attributes that make us human; that elevate us.” In this regard, Rawjee believes that our education programmes should focus on developing key aspects of human intelligence, as per the philosophy of education expert and author Sir Ken Robinson. He defined five kinds of intelligence that make us human. These include intellectual, emotional, physiological, intuitive and spiritual intelligence.

Intellectual intelligence The capacity to reason and apply logic to solve problems and comprehend what we’re learning. This intelligence allows humans to make inferences or interpret what we’re reading and studying. Those are all aspects of cognition – of intellectual intelligence – which is what mainstream education, business and society deems important.

Physiological intelligence Movement, activity and sport affects and contributes to our intellect and our thinking. The body and mind are interconnected, so what you eat and how (and how often) you move can determine or influence how smart you become.

Intuitive intelligence In a world obsessed with data and evidence-based research, it is easy to lose our creativity. Without a keen sense of intuition, humans will fail to produce anything creative in this new world. The ability to make decisions without analysis is a distinctly human trait that we need to nurture.

Emotional intelligence This is an aspect of intelligence that we know very little about – how it works in practice or how to develop it. What we know for certain is that it’s something we will need in our future society because we’ll work closely with other people to create and nurture partner, client and human relationships in a business world where technology increasingly takes care of everything outside of these human interactions.

Spiritual intelligence Spiritual intelligence is about more than religion. It’s about the notion of spirit – that aspect of our being that makes us distinctly human, which goes beyond our mind-made self. This is the “higher self” that controls our thoughts and functions.

let’s play

top 14

outdoor toys

1 1. Custom-made playhouse by A-ZZZ Woodland. Available at a-zzzwoodland.co.za. 2. Baby Flamingo Float. Available from babycouture.co.za for R399. 3. Combination D Jungle Gym from Jungle Trix. Available from monkeytrix.co.za for R12 557 (do-it-yourself kit) or R15 417 (installed). 4. Indi Board by Wooden Elements. Available at woodenelements. co.za for R1 950.

space saver

4 6

5. My Fairy Garden – Fairy Flowerpot by Prima Toys. Available from Builders Warehouse and takealot.com for R249.99. 6. My Fairy Garden – Fairy Picnic Basket by Prima Toys. Available at Builders Warehouse and Toyzone for R269.99. 7. LEGO® Ideas Treehouse. Available at greatyellowbrick.co.za for R3 499.99. 8. Bumper Drone Mini by Prima Toys. Available at Toy Kingdom, Toyzone and West Pack Lifestyle for R799.99.

magazine | durban spring 2019

9 green fingers

12. Haba Sieve Roller by Young At Heart Toys for R336. 13. Quut Alto by Young at Heart Toys for R205. 14. Quercetti Tecno by Young At Heart Toys for R459. All available at youngathearttoys.co.za

We all had a playroom growing up: it was called â&#x20AC;&#x153;outsideâ&#x20AC;?

sand play 9. Varnished veggie box by Just for Kids. Available at justforkids.co.za for R799. 10. Pirate ship sandbox and slide by The Wood Workshop. Available at thewoodworkshop.co.za for R9 300. 11. Monster Jam 1:24 scale die cast vehicles by Just Fun Toys. Available from selected Checkers, Game, Makro, Toy Kingdom, Toy Zone and Toys R Us stores nationwide from R349.99.

parenting

PHOTOGRAPH: ISTOCKPHOTO.COM

crunch time The stress of exams can affect the whole family, here’s how to manage it so everyone stays calm and focused. Talya Ressel

s we enter the home stretch for the students of 2019, there is often an increase in anxiety, which affects not just the children, but also their parents and the family surrounding them. Exam time is one of those times where some anxiety is to be expected, given the emphasis placed on exams, especially the matric exams. But, what about those who aren’t actually writing the exams, yet are still feeling the pressure and its effects? We know that anxiety can be difficult for a child to manage alone – it often overflows and affects those closest to them, so don’t be surprised if this exam period leaves you, the parent, feeling more stressed out and tense than your child.

5 tips for managing exam anxiety routine: During exam time do not give up on all rules, expectations or responsibilities you have set for your child. While you can make adjustments due to their study requirements, it is important that you keep up some consistency. This creates containment for their anxiety and also encourages the child to learn to balance their needs with other expectations of them. It also takes some of the pressure off. While these exams are important, they are not the “be all and end all” and the results are not the sole reflection of their abilities. Also, maintaining some of your normal routine and boundaries will reduce anxiety for the rest of the family. encourage proper self-care: Your child needs to get enough sleep and proper nutrition, take breaks and have adequate exercise. Anxiety is fuelled when we stop taking care of ourselves, and while it may be tempting (or feel necessary) to forget everything else to try cram in some studying, it can actually have a negative effect on children’s wellbeing. The secret is to maintain a healthy balance, even more so when under stress. Some children prefer to study at night, while others prefer early mornings – it’s ok for their sleep cycle to differ from yours, as long as they are getting at least 7–8 hours of sleep. And make sure the rest of the family is practising self-care too! 20

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discuss coping strategies: Before crunch time hits, ask children what support they would like from you and encourage them to think of helpful ways to reduce their stress. You can prepare a list of options to help remind them when the anxiety starts rising. These strategies can include belly breathing; going for a walk; listening to their favourite song; blowing bubbles (yes, all ages will find it relaxing); drinking a cup of tea/ hot chocolate in silence; or a big hug. Parents can make use of these strategies too and model how they are managing their own stress. listening, but not getting sucked into the story: With anxiety, it is easy to get stuck in “all or nothing” thinking such as “I will never pass this exam”, “I answered every question wrong”, or “I have totally messed up”. It’s not helpful to dismiss concerns by saying everything will be fine, but what parents can do is listen to their concerns and acknowledge how hard it may feel at that moment. Children need to be reminded that they won’t always feel like this and you are here for them, no matter what. Remembering that your child’s life will not solely be defined by these exams will also help reduce parents’ anxiety. control: For many parents, their own anxiety can skyrocket during these exams because of the lack of control they have over the situation. How much and when the child studies, how they apply themselves and what the outcome will be are some of the big things parents can’t control. And that can be terrifying! Nagging can often be a result of your anxiety, but it is not helpful to the child – it only puts more pressure on them or makes them resist anything you may have to offer. As discussed above, there are some things that you can do to support and guide them. No doubt you will have already done many things in the years leading up to this that will have a positive impact, but right now, you have to take a step back and let them fly. It’s not easy, for you or them, but by helping them manage the stress and anxiety these exams bring, you are helping them master important coping tools for life. And that I believe is far more valuable than any maths equation or history date!

recipes

sensational snacks We hope you find these recipes as fun to prep and eat as we did. Most of the recipes are adaptable to cater for specific allergies. Where appropriate, involve your children in the recipe prep and enjoy delicious allergy-friendly meal options!

meatball spiders 25 minutes Makes 12 • 1 gluten-free roll • coconut oil • 1 onion, chopped • 1 bay leaf • 600g mince • 1 egg • 1 tsp mustard • 1 tbsp chopped basil • salt and pepper, to taste • red and green bell peppers, sliced into strips, for serving • mayonnaise, for serving • capers, for serving Roughly chop the roll and soak in warm water. Heat the coconut oil in a pan and gently fry the chopped onion and bay leaf until the onion is soft, but not browned. Remove the bay leaf and mix the onion with the squeezed-out bread roll. Add the mince, egg, mustard, basil and salt and pepper. Mix well. Using wet hands, form into small meatballs and gently fry on all sides in coconut oil until cooked. To serve, arrange the meatballs on plates. Attach strips of the peppers to form “spider’s legs”, make eyes from dabs of mayonnaise and capers, and a mouth from a triangle of bell pepper attached with mayonnaise. A fun recipe to prep and eat. Gluten- and dairy-free, but does contain egg as a binder (can be replaced with an egg replacer). Use egg-free mayo for egg-allergic children. Allergens: egg

about the book

Allergy Sense – for families: a practical guide contains over 70 easy and quick to prepare recipes using simple, allergen-free ingredients. Compiled by Meg Faure, Dr Sarah Karabus and Kath Megaw, the book is an excellent guide for all those living with food allergies. Published by Quivertree Publications, the book is available at leading bookstores for R395. Visit quivertreepublications.com

magazine | durban spring 2019

pavlova pudding 1 hour 35 minutes Serves 4 to 8 • 375g + 2 tbsp castor sugar • 6 large egg whites • 2½ tsp cornflour • ¼ tsp ground black pepper • 2 tsp white wine vinegar • ½ tsp rose water • 300g strawberries, chopped (adding blueberries optional) • 6 granadillas, halved and pulp strained • 300ml double cream, or dairy-free Orley Whip

raspberry yoghurt with dairy-free dark chocolate chip ice-cream 40 minutes, plus 4 hours freezing Serves 8 • 400g raspberries • ¾ cup natural yoghurt • 2 tbsp lemon juice • ¾ cup icing sugar or equivalent stevia granules • 2 cups whipping cream • 100g dairy-free dark chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 180°C. Add the castor sugar to the egg whites gradually, while whisking fast. Fold in the cornflour, ground black pepper, white wine vinegar and rose water. Draw a ± 22 cm circle onto wet paper. Dollop the meringue mixture onto the circle. Smooth the sides and top, and place in the oven. Immediately turn down the heat to 150°C and bake for 1 hour. Add the chopped strawberries to a bowl, then pour over the granadilla juice, add the additional 2 tbsp castor sugar and mix. Whip the double cream or Orley Whip and smooth on top of the baked meringue base. Spoon over the strawberry mix. This recipe will always contain egg and there is no replacement for this ingredient. However, using Orley Whip will make this dessert dairy-free. Allergens: dairy and egg

Wash the raspberries, then drain well. Purée with the yoghurt and lemon juice, and add the icing sugar to taste. Fold about ½ cup cream into about 1/3 of the raspberry purée. Mix the remaining cream with the rest of the raspberry purée. Pour the lighter raspberry cream into 6–8 clean yoghurt cups. Freeze for about 30 minutes. Remove the cups from the freezer and place a wooden stick in each. Pour in the remaining raspberry cream and dairy-free dark chocolate sprinkles. Freeze for 3–4 hours. Shortly before serving, place the yoghurt cups into hot water then carefully push the ice-cream out of the yoghurt cup onto a plate. Serve immediately. An easy-to-make yummy nut-, egg- and gluten-free dessert. To make it dairy-free, replace the chocolate chips with dairy-free dark chocolate chips, replace the yoghurt with soya yoghurt and the cream with Orley Whip. Allergens: dairy

tech

social media, the dangers and the law The world of social media can hold many dangers for naïve children as well as legal implications. Here’s what you need to know to protect your child.

ould you drop off your child at the park and leave them unattended for a few hours? Most parents would answer “no”, so why do we allow our children on social media and online spaces without monitoring their activity? As a mother of 5- and 8-year-old children, I know that every parent wants to protect their children from any harm. However, there seems to be a big absence of informed parenting in the digital age, or simple ignorance, in South African homes with regard to the effects of social media, the dangers facing children on social media and the law. The internet has a wealth of knowledge and benefits for education, socialisation and connectivity. It is a great tool for children if used in a safe and positive way, however, as with anything in life, there are also dangers that parents and children need to be aware of. Most parents do not know even know what cyberbullying, sexting, online grooming, cyberstalking or catfishing is! Children are not monitored online, are not taught online safety and are gifted by parents with the latest smart devices and mobile phones, then left to explore the internet and social media at their leisure. The result, of course, is high exposure to inappropriate and violent content online, vulnerability or risk of social media offences being committed against children, and children committing social media offences. To a large extent, most adults are ignorant of the legal implications of their own actions on social media. Statistics and experience have shown that 95% of parents are completely in the dark regarding the social media dangers facing their children, the age limits of the various platforms, the legal implications of their children’s actions on social media and online safety. Children and parents are often unaware that children can be held legally liable for their actions. The law defines a child as “a person under the age of 18 years old”.

magazine | durban spring 2019

PHOTOGRAPH: todd trapani | unsplash.COM

Diana Schwarz

In South Africa, children from the age of 7 can be sued in the name of their parent or legal guardian, while children aged 11–18 can be sued in their own name with the assistance of a parent or guardian and are deemed to be legally liable for their actions; they can be sued civilly or charged criminally. Children from 11 years up to 14 years of age have criminal capacity and the onus to prove criminal capacity on the part of the child accused of having committed a crime, rests with the State. Children

older than 14 years have criminal capacity unless otherwise proven by the accused child. The age for users to create accounts on most social media platforms is generally 13 years old. This includes Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp etc. Some platforms require the consent of parents/guardians.

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danger lurks in cyberspace

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Below are some of the most important dangers facing children on social media. • Their personal information (names, schools they attend, birthdays etc.) is made known to strangers. This can be used to gain access to children. • Catfishing: Fake online profiles can trick children into thinking they are talking to children of their own age and child predators can gain access to victims. • Cyberbullying: Bullying that takes place online and on social media platforms through electronic devices. There are some alarming statistics of child suicides directly linked to cyberbullying and rising from as young as 9 years old. • Cyberstalking: Online harassment and stalking across social media platforms. • Online grooming: Adult/child predators using fake profiles or even their own profiles to form relationships with children over a long

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period of time for the purposes of later having a sexual relationship with the child or abducting the child. Sexting: Any naked or nude pictures of a child (a person under the age of 18) is child pornography. Keeping and sending naked pictures is deemed as being in possession of and distributing child pornography (a criminal offence). Kidnappings/abductions: These can occur through catfishing, online grooming, and personal information being made known online. Human trafficking: Almost every situation of human trafficking can be linked to some element of social media.

Schools all over South Africa are dealing with a high rate of cyberbullying both on and off the school grounds. Schools need to have proper social media policies in place to deal with all aspects of social media, use of devices or mobile phones and disciplinary action for social media offences, among others. Parenting in the digital age or the fourth industrial revolution can be a daunting task. The internet and social media is not going anywhere, so parents need to ramp up their skills to navigate this new digital era. Diana Schwarz is a social media lawyer and child’s rights activist. She provides social media educational talks to learners and parents at schools. dianaschwarzattorneys.co.za

5 top tips to keep your children safe online

Know what social media platforms your child is active on and what games your child is playing online. Be aware of age restrictions and read the T & Cs of each social media platform. Age restrictions are in place for a reason. Children need a certain level of emotional maturity

to process the content they are exposed to. Ensure privacy settings are secure on each platform your child is on, and make sure you know how to install them. Install parental control software on all devices. There are free apps that

can help you filter inappropriate content, monitor your child’s activity online and set time limits. Ensure that screen time is limited, this includes TV, all devices and gaming. Psychologists’ research shows that two hours per day is the appropriate amount of screen time daily.

calendar

what’s on this spring For more events go to childmag.co.za/whats-on or submit an event for our summer issue before 1 November to durban@childmag.co.za Cost: R350 per person or R3 500 for table of 10 Contact: Sandy Davies, 031 201 4682, info@ feedthebabiesfund.org.za

7 September The Browns’ School Fete

30 August–8 September Woodstock The Rhumbelow Theatre marks the 50th anniversary of the legendary Woodstock festival with a special production featuring The Reals and guest perfomer Marion Loudon (vocals/percussion). Join the celebration and dress hippie-style for a fun experience. Booking is essential. Venue: Rhumbelow at Tina’s, Tina’s Hotel, 14 Beryldene Rd, Kloof Time: 8pm (Fri and Sat), 2pm (Sun) Cost: R150. Special pensioner and student discounts for the first weekend only. Loyalty cardholders pay R120

Contact: Roland 082 499 8636, roland@ stansell.co.za or events.durbantheatre.com. For restaurant reservations, contact 031 764 7843

1 September Charity Race Day Support the Feed the Babies Fund in this fundraising horse racing event. Novice or seasoned punter, it doesn’t matter; bring some friends or clients and join in the fun, enjoy a three-course meal and have a little flutter if you fancy. Suitable for adults. Venue: The Classic Room, Greyville Racecourse, 150 Avondale Road, Greyville Time: 12pm–5pm

20 September Sunflower Day Support the Sunflower Fund’s annual Sunflower Day campaign. The campaign, which is anchored by the sale of the multipurpose Tube of Hope (TOPE), is aimed at raising funds for the recruitment of blood stem cell donors for patients diagnosed with life-threatening blood diseases like leukaemia. The TOPE comes in six vibrant colours each symbolising hope and depicting a specific ‘HopeTag’. Hope tags are a series of hash tags that will be used throughout the campaign as labels that unite and empower. Get your favourite hope tag colour from Pick n Pay stores nationwide, selected independent pharmacies and online at Zando and make a statement in support of individuals with blood diseases. Retailing for R30, TOPES go on sale from 1 August. To pre-order your TOPE or to partner with The Sunflower Fund as a host for a Sunflower Day celebration event contact Traci Sassenberg 021 701 0661 or traci@sunflowerfund.org.za

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A lovely day out for the family filled with bargains, delicious food and fun. Venue: Browns School, Cnr Mariannridge Drive and Dorfner Road – entrance in Dorfner Road for safe parking inside.  Time: 8:30am–3pm Cost: Free entrance, but R10 for parking Contact: Jane, Lyn or Margot 031 700 6065, idc@brownsschool.co.za. brownsschool.co.za

13–15 September Peppa Pig Live More fun than a muddy puddle as the Peppa Pig Live tour returns to South Africa with Peppa Pig’s Big Day Out. It’s guaranteed laughter, cheering and dancing as Peppa sets out to find lost friends, Polly Parrot and Mr. Dinosaur. Join Peppa, George, Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig and more in a fantastic adventure filled with buckets of surprises, everyone’s favourite songs and plenty of muddy puddles! Venue: The Globe at Suncoast Times: Various Cost: From R99 (limited), discounted family specials also available, book at online. computicket.com

18–20 October Talana Museum Live The Talana Museum is hosting a weekend of events. New this year is the re-enactment of the Battle of Delville Wood, join the armies and relive history. There’ll be a Christmas truce soccer match, a remembrance wreath laying, a gun run, mile hill run, tossing the boot, and a wagon pull. Plus a craft and plant market, vintage car display and a guided tour of the battlefield, among other activities. Venue: Royal Hotel and Talana Battlefield Times: Various, contact the organisers for details

Cost: R70 (adults), R20 (scholars), book through quicket.co.za Contact: info@talana.co.za or talana.co.za

17 November Durban Wellness Festival The annual Durban Wellness Festival aims to promote awareness of diabetes and includes the Global Diabetes Walk – a 5km fun walk. There’ll be free Diabetest testing for the general public. Venue: Ushaka Marine World Arena 1 (main entrance to Ushaka) Time: 8am–12pm Cost: Free entry and R60 to enter the walk   Contact: Pat Bonini 082 499 5222

markets

Every Saturday Shongweni Farmers & Craft Market The Shongweni Farmers & Craft Market is a wonderful weekend outing for families. The

market is dedicated to providing its customers with products that are either homegrown, handmade, organic or eco-friendly. Bring your dogs, the market has water stations scattered all around. It caters for everyone under the sun as it is also completely wheelchair-friendly. Venue: The Shongweni Farmers & Craft Market Mr551, Lot 457, Shongweni Time: 6:30am–12:30pm (Closing time has recently changed) Cost: Free entry Contact: Christine 031 777 4686, info@ shongwenimarket.co.za

1 September Spring Market Local arts, crafts, music and fine food. Join the creative community of Clansthal that works hard to ensure their conservancy is pristine so visitors can enjoy the beautiful facilities for a wonderful craft market and a relaxing Sunday out in a beautiful garden.

Venue: 111 Pig & Whistle Drive, Clansthal Time: 9am–2pm Contact: Liz Cunningham 083 556 8108, lizc@scottburgh.co.za

7 September, 5 October, 3 November I Heart Market The market, which is celebrating its 10th anniversary this year, is focused on providing a selection of carefully curated locally made goods, with artisan food, crafted apparel and everything in between for the whole family. Products at the I Heart Market are carefully designed with attention to detail, resulting in quality products that will live through your most ruthless spring clean and will stand the test of time. You can bring your dog along, too. Venue: Moses Mabhida Lawns Time: 9am–2pm Cost: Free entry Contact: iheartmarket.com

let’s party For more help planning your child’s party visit childmag.co.za/ resources/birthdayparties

finishing touch

a hamster journeys to the afterlife twice When their time comes, every pet hamster will be given a solemn farewell with all family members in attendance, but some get more than their fair share.

anél lewis

ur dwarf hamster, Milk Toast (don’t ask) was a strong contender for the Guinness Book of World Records for longevity. She defied the odds – including two narrow escapes from the jaws of our ginger cat – to survive for four long years. Well, the years felt long to me, anyway, because despite the heartfelt promises and pledges from Erin and Conor who were desperate for the pet, I was the only sucker who ended up cleaning said hamster’s cage each week. Once the initial novelty wore off, I was also the only person who played with the Lilliputian rodent, unless you count the odd occasion when the cat would manage to get its paw into the cage. At first, Milk Toast resided in Conor’s bedroom, but the hamster’s nocturnal exercise regime disrupted Conor’s sleep, and she was relocated to another spot. Unfortunately, this had to be a lofty perch because of our predatory cats, and sadly, out of sight meant out of mind. I resigned myself to being Milk Toast’s sole carer and

companion. And waited patiently for her to move on to the afterlife. But even I was not expecting her departure to come so suddenly one Sunday during a braai with friends. My husband passed me in the kitchen and whispered fiercely, “Don’t let the children look in the hamster cage.” Alarmed, I took a quick peek and saw Milk Toast curled up in her food bowl as if asleep. We waited until the next morning before breaking the news. Conor burst into tears, declaring that life would never be the same again. Erin was distraught, saying we needed to start immediately with funeral preparations. For two children who had probably played with the hamster twice in its prolonged life, they were inconsolable. Craig prepared the burial ground, and Milk Toast was given an emotional send-off in a colourful Jungle Oats box coffin. But, as in life, Milk Toast stuck around for longer than expected. A few days later, we saw Milk Toast again – laying in a pile of sand dug up by the cats. The

family marketplace

Anél, Conor, Craig and Erin

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children thought their hamster had been given a second lease on life. Thankfully (for me), Craig quickly stepped in and hurriedly disposed of the hamster (again). Relieved of my cagecleaning duties, I declared an embargo on any more pets. But, alas, Erin and Conor are already thinking of names for the next hamster. Anél Lewis is trying to convince her children that the season for hamsters has gone, and that the now-discarded cage would be better used for fluffy toys that don’t need to be fed and watered.

Milk Toast was given an emotional send-off in a colourful Jungle Oats box coffin.

books

a good read Recommended reads about dealing with difference, emotions and social issues.

Perfectly Different By Sarah Tavola (Struik, R90) The Child Mag team is a huge fan of this book! It’s a delightful tale, written in rhyme, about a little boy asking his mother a series of questions about why all his friends are so different – in appearance and character. Each time, his mother explains that they are all as beautiful and wonderful as one another, and perfect as they are. The subtle message is that we should embrace individuality and respect difference. Complementing the story are bright and charming illustrations from Sinan Hallak, showing children of various genders, ethnicity and styles of dress and behaviour.

It’s splendid,” Mama laughed, “to wear whatever feels right. Whether it’s pyjamas in the day or an overcoat at night.

The Gift of the Sun – a tale from South Africa By Dianne Stewart (Lincoln, R150) When Thulani tires of having to milk his cow, he exchanges it for a goat, the goat for a sheep, the sheep for three geese, until all he has left are some sunflower seeds. But then the seeds feed the hens, the hens lay more eggs, and before long Thulani is enjoying good fortune – the gift of the sun.

Cammy Chameleon By Lea Wowra (Don Nelson Publishers, R70) Cammy Chameleon is a Cape Dwarf Chameleon living in Cape Town, South Africa. Like you, she loves to spend time with her friends, especially with Casper Chameleon, whom she visits after school. Fearless as she is, Cammy likes to explore and wander around the nature reserve, until one day, she encounters a terrifying animal, or does she?

Happy Yosh By Pauline Gerson (Smart Emotions, R110) This book provides an important building block for emotional intelligence by helping our younger generation (3–7 years) to recognise and understand their emotions. It is designed as an interactive reading experience, individually, or as a group, with question time for children to stop and think about their own emotions. Order online smartemotions.co.za