Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 31 May 2023

Stonecats win

MPNFL premiership contenders Frankston YCW and Mt Eliza did battle last Saturday. Frankston YCW emerged victorious. See sports page 14. Picture: Craig Barrett

Golf course redevelopment in the works

Brodie Cowburn brodie@baysidenews.com.au

THE Rossdale Golf Club has consulted with its members about the potential redevelopment of its Aspendale golf course.

The proposal would see the golf course rezoned for a different use. The

first stage of consultation concluded earlier this month.

The presentation prepared for the first stage of consultation read that the club was not profitable enough to remain viable at its current home.

“Despite the efforts of Rossdale’s board, members and staff to ensure Rossdale’s viability at Aspendale, membership subscriptions and department profits do not fund its fixed

costs and coupled with debt, this is now no longer possible. As numerous other golf clubs have done, the board has engaged a team to secure the rezone required to gain the funding to ensure its long term preservation,” the Rossdale Golf Club presentation read. “When considering cash flow shortages, Rossdale does not have the capital required to repair or upgrade its facilities to meet consumer expec-

tations and retain members.”

The Aspendale site is approximately 43.5 hectares. Aspendale Station is around 400 metres to the north-west of the land, and the Edithvale-Seaford Wetlands is to the east of it.

The land proposed for redevelopment is currently zoned “Special Use Zone”. It would need to be rezoned to allow for development.

The Rossdale Golf Club was con-

tacted for comment. A statement on its website reads that more than 90 per cent of attendees at a meeting in December 2018 voted to sell the current site and relocate. The club will continue to accept members in the meantime.

A draft masterplan is expected to be released this August. For more information visit rossdalegolfcourseaspendale.au

PHONE: 03 5974 9000

Editor: Brodie Cowburn 0401 864 460

Journalists: Brodie Cowburn 5974 9000

Photographers: Gary Sissons, Yanni

Advertising Sales: Anton Hoffman 0411 119 379

Real Estate Account Manager: Jason Richardson 0421 190 318

Production and graphic design: Dannielle Espagne, Marcus Pettifer

Group Editor: Keith Platt

Publisher: Cameron McCullough

REGULAR CONTRIBUTORS: Peter McCullough, Stuart McCullough, Andrew Hurst, Ben Triandafillou

ADDRESS: Mornington Peninsula News Group

PO Box 588 Hastings 3915

Email: team@baysidenews.com.au Web: baysidenews.com.au

DEADLINE FOR NEXT ISSUE: 5PM ON MON 5 JUNE 2023

NEXT ISSUE PUBLICATION: WEDNESDAY 7 JUNE 2023

Rail, sports, road works in state budget

THE train stabling facility at Kananook is set to be expanded. The state government has committed to spending $353 million on the expansion of the stabling facility. The plans were confirmed in the budget released by the state government last week.

An independent voice for the community

We are the only locally owned and operated community newspaper. We are dedicated to the belief that a strong community newspaper is essential to a strong community. We exist to serve residents, community groups and businesses and ask for their support in return.

The budget papers read that the state government had allocated $353 million to “expand the Kananook train stabling facility on the Frankston line, delivering additional stabling and maintenance capacity to support metropolitan train services and net-

work resilience.”

The project is targeting completion by the end of 2026. The train stabling facility at Kananook was opened in 2020.

The budget also features $750,000 towards the Station Street and McLeod Road intersection upgrade, and $2 million to install pedestrian signals at the school crossing on Hall Road in Carrum Downs.

Four sporting and recreation projects in the Carrum electorate received funding. The state government will spend $1.5 million on the Banyan

Fields BMX track, $1.3 million on a playground and community space at Sandfield Reserve, $300,000 on new greens at Carrum Bowling Club, and $50,000 on new shelter at RF Miles Recreation Reserve.

Carrum MP Sonya Kilkenny said “we’re delivering on every election promise we made to the people of Carrum – whether it’s local sporting clubs, roads or hospitals, the Andrews Labor Government is doing what matters.”

Brodie Cowburn

THE stabling facility at Kananook Station will be expanded soon. Picture: Supplied

Playground priorities considered

KINGSTON Council is planning the future for its 116 public playgrounds.

Drop-in sessions are being hosted for the next two weeks to discuss the future of local play spaces. The sessions will shape council’s playground strategy.

Kingston mayor Hadi Saab says the strategy needs a refresh. “This year, with a big help from our community, we’re creating a new strategy. We want to hear all about how, what, where, when, and why our community plays,” he said.

“These assets are so important to the physical and mental wellbeing of our residents, importantly providing free destinations for people to be active and connect socially and contributing significantly to our neighbourhood character and the overall liveability of our city. We manage 116 public playgrounds, plus all our active recreation spaces, and while that is a lot, we need to make sure they are designed and located in areas that meet the needs of our community.”

Upcoming drop-in sessions will be at Kingston Farmers’ Market at Kingston Heath Reserve in Cheltenham from 8am to 12pm on 3 June, and at Bonbeach Primary School’s Farmers Market from 8.30am to 12.30pm on 11 June.

To make a submission online visit yourkingstonyoursay.com.au/playyour-way by 16 June.

A PLAN is forming for future playground projects in the Kingston municipality. Picture: Supplied

‘Banksia Man’ gets his flowers

A PASSIONATE group of volunteers has done their bit for the planet by planting more than 1000 Banksias in Seaford in the last year.

The group is led by Ross Shepherd. His efforts have earned him the nickname “Banksia Man”.

Shepherd was handed a certificate at the May Frankston Council meeting recognising his hard work. He said he was “honoured and surprised” to receive the certificate, and declared the Seaford Banksia Arboretum Project a “community effort”.

“The project has contributed to significant community pride. The banksia flowers are beautiful,” he said.

Councillor Kris Bolam said Shepherd deserved the award as he had “set up the Seaford Banksia Arboretum Project, inspiring locals to get behind his inspirational vision to beautify the site and create something special the community can be proud of by removing weeds and rubbish and then planting 1000 banksias since May last year.”

“Ross is a green thumb who has a big heart for Seaford, huge passion and drive,” he said. “When he noticed two large blocks at the corner of Wells and Seaford roads were being used an unofficial rubbish tip, Ross sprang into action. Ross liaised with the owners, VicRoads, to establish a Roadside Revegetation Project.

Rental crisis linked to homelessness rise

Brodie Cowburn brodie@baysidenews.com.au

A NEWLY released report has found that housing in Frankston is becoming more unaffordable. The report was commissioned by Frankston Zero, a project which had aimed to eradicate rough sleeping in the Frankston area by this month. The report made 28 recommendations to the Frankston City Strategic Housing and Homelessness Alliance.

Between June 2021 and October 2022, 139 people were registered on a list of rough sleepers within Frankston. Just 19 of them were housed in that time.

The report read that housing affordability is a consistent problem in Frankston, and is only getting worse. “The number of affordable private rental housing dwellings available for letting in Frankston City has declined dramatically over the last ten years. This is true for all household types, falling 95 per cent in 20 years from 654 affordable properties in June 2002 to 36 in June 2022, but particularly for single persons,” the report read.

“The cost of private rental properties has increased significantly across Greater Melbourne, and in Frankston City the increase has been even more dramatic. The impact of this is that for very low to low-income groups like single persons and JobSeeker income recipients. As of June 2022, like most other LGAs in Greater Melbourne, Frankston City had become extremely unaffordable for JobSeeker income recipients. A lack of affordable private rental options means people who want to

Home damaged by big blaze

live in the area are either unable to do so, and if they work in the area face long commutes, or they are forced to pay high rents and endure housing stress.”

Frankston Zero chair Jackie Galloway said that housing affordability is linked to a rise in homelessness. “We can see that private rental housing in Frankston City is increasingly unaffordable for all household types,” she said. “There is also a critical shortfall in social housing, especially for singles, young people, and for permanent supportive housing. With these factors in mind, it’s easy to see how homelessness in Frankston has risen by nearly 45 per cent since 2016.”

An increase to Commonwealth Rent Assistance funding and the expansion of private rental housing in Frankston were among the recommendations made in the report.

The Frankston Zero group has hosted a series of roundtables with homelessness agencies and government bodies to discuss solutions. It is now calling on the federal government to implement legislative change to help solve the housing crisis.

“Following the roundtables, Frankston Zero is now calling on the federal government to pass Future Fund legislation as the start of the pipeline of future housing. The group is also advocating for the state and federal government to increase social housing, particularly for singles, permanent supportive housing, and youth foyers,” a statement from Frankston Council read.

Frankston Zero was established in 2021. For more information visit melbournezero.org.au/ frankston_zero

ROSS Shepherd planting a Banksia.

Picture: Supplied

Picture: Gary Sissons

A HOME set to go to auction with all the funds going to charity.

Home built for charity burgled

A THIEF has stolen furniture from a Carrum Downs charity house just days before it was due to be auctioned off.

Police say that a burglar stole artwork, lamps and linen from the Carrum Downs property on Sky Way between 20 May and 26 May. Damage was also left on the walls of the home. The home is set to be sold to raise

money for the Menzies Caring for Kids charity this Saturday. Frankston Police crime investigation unit first constable Tomas Bischof said “I hope the offender is ashamed of themselves for stealing from a charitable organisation that is trying to provide for young children in need of help on the peninsula.”

“Someone out there must know the person who did this low act and I hope they dob them in for their actions,” he said. “If anyone saw any suspicious vehicles in the area, we urge them to come forward and contact Crime Stoppers.”

Contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 or www.crimestoppersvic.com.au.

Veteran’s efforts recognised with awards

A WORLD War II veteran received three certificates honouring him for his service at a special event this month.

103-year-old Geoff Bydder lives in Seaford with his wife Normie. At an event hosted at Vasey RSL Care Frankston South earlier this month, Bydder received his RAAF and Army Service certificates. Dunkley MP Peta Murphy also awarded him a Commonwealth Certificate of Appreciation.

Bydder signed up to the Royal Australian Air Force on 29 April 1940, before joining the Australian Army just under a year later. He was posted to the 2/8 Field Regiment as a gunner, and was sent to the Middle East campaign.

Seaford RSL president Brett Clyne was on hand to congratulate Bydder on his achievements. “Geoff is a spritely and active veteran who loves his bowls and getting around in his electric scooter,” Clyne said. “Geoff and wife Normie have been Seaford residents for many years and longtime proud members of the Seaford RSL.”

GEOFF and Normie Bydder at Vasey RSL Care Frankston South this month. Picture: Gary Sissons

Police patrol with Brodie Cowburn

Picture: OBrien

Clearing not the solution to fire protection

I was surprised to read that 28 residents have called for Mornington Peninsula Shire Council to potentially clear “high-value remnant vegetation” because they are concerned about fire risk (“Balancing fire risk and vegetation” The News 23/5/23). Living in rural Victoria for 30 years and fighting the Ash Wednesday fire it became obvious that no amount of clearing or burning has any effect on the advancement of fire when the wind is strong, the vegetation dry and the temperature hot. A related finding from the Bushfire Royal Commission after the 2019-20 fires was that reducing fuel loads “may have no appreciable effect under extreme conditions”.

Victoria is the most cleared state and as you report, “about 70 per cent of remnant native vegetation has been lost on the peninsula”. The recent State of the Environment report found that “Overall, the state and trend of the environment of Australia are poor and deteriorating as a result of increasing pressures from climate change, habitat loss, invasive species, pollution and resource extraction”.

I hope the Red Hill reserve and the species of “national and international significance” it is home to, can be protected and residents can find a way to accept the reality of the new risk we face because of climate change.

Ray Peck, Hawthorn

Towards equality

A number of your correspondents have construed that bizarrely that voting for the Voice will be a form of apartheid that favours First Nations people and that we already have one person, one vote so we are all equal already.

I would suggest they not listen to the dribble emanating from the mostly Coalition No voices.

It is worth remembering that First Nations people were not given the vote until the 1960s. This nation has a lot of repair work to do to bring First Nations people to some level of equality. The Voice on its own is just a step towards equality.

Perhaps opponents of the Voice would prefer to advocate that First Nations people gain influence in parliament in the time honoured way, buying it with lobbyists.

Ross Hudson, Mount Martha

Solution available

I appreciate the respectful responses to my earlier letter (“Direct advice” and “Voice not a wedge” Letters 16/5/23). We are united in wishing to have Indigenous issues addressed effectively, but I remain of the view that amending the constitution is not needed to achieve this and would be a massive overreach.

No one has suggested having an Indigenous advisory body per se is racist, but it is the proposal to afford it and those it represents extra

rights in the constitution over and above every non-Indigenous Australian which is at issue.

The Voice is misleadingly being sold as a necessary “catch up” for Indigenous people not being represented in the constitution.

Indigenous people currently have exactly the same rights and recognition as every other Australian. What is being sought in this referendum is additional representation, or a second “vote” for one group over all others, based purely on race.

If, as is stated, the NIAA isn’t a voice for Indigenous people, it raises the question of where the NIAA currently receives the advice which is not relevant, but nevertheless directs the efforts justifying their existence. If the advice is not appropriate, what is the impediment to setting up a new and effective body to fill this void? After all the government is already available to listen and the NIAA already there to act.

This can be done without introducing a racially based division in the constitution. History tells us that dividing people by race does not lead to good outcomes.

Several previous Indigenous representative agencies have failed necessitating closure by government. Entrenching the Voice in the constitution will not guarantee that this cannot happen again, but it will make it virtually impossible to fix.

John Matthews, Heathmont

Question of identity

Today, in the constitution, I am identified as Australian. But the referendum, The Voice”, demands I must be one of two identities. If I don’t self-identify as one or the other the government will decide for me. I wonder what my identity will be? An Aboriginal Australian or a non-Aboriginal Australian? A First Nation Australian or Second Nation Australian? A Black Australian or White Australian? A European Australian or non-European Australian? An Indigenous Australian or a non-Indigenous Australian?

I am none of these. I am Australian. I do not want to be identified as a “something or other” Australian.

So, it is a No from me.

Sandy Robinson, Hastings

Abolish paternalism

I find the continuous insensitive contributions of the entitled and un-thinking on the Mornington Peninsula and the odd one from further afield about the Voice to Parliament a little bemusing.

It is not that hard to see that the treatment of our first nation people by the invaders over the last more than 200 years resulted in the total disenfranchisement of them. Any of the patronising efforts of the white invaders over the several decades since the final “emancipa-

tion” of our First Nations people has only ever resulted in a further disempowerment of them.

So, isn’t it high time we allow our First Nations people to speak directly to parliament and government to let them know what will be needed to lift this century long yolk of paternalism off their backs?

The conservative muddying of the waters on the issue of the Voice is just another sign of their irrelevance in Australian politics and a petty need to cling to undeserved privilege at all costs.

Rupert Steiner, Balnarring

‘The cost of hydrogen

Japan could be on its way to meeting its emissions standards, thanks to the state and federal Labor governments’ stupidity.

While Japan will hugely benefit from buying hydrogen made from coal and gas, Australia will singularly add tonnes of CO2 in the atmosphere providing brown hydrogen.

Hydrogen is dubbed “grey” or “brown” when produced with natural gas or coal respectively, owing to the carbon intensity of the processes: steam reforming emits 11kg of CO2 equal parts per kilogram of hydrogen; coal gasification 19kg per kilogram of hydrogen.

Green hydrogen is produced with clean renewable energy using a process called electrolysis of water and there is no carbon emission during H2 production.

Here is a big duh. Japan Offers $1.6 billion to Australia’s coal-to-hydrogen plan and Labor says OK and no problem.

To offset these huge increases in new CO2 emissions the industry can buy dodgy (in the first place) carbon credits from Indonesia where the forests being credited for dodgy carbon credits that do not even exist are at the same time being logged.

Joe Lenzo, Safety Beach

Logging ban appreciated

At last, some good news in the announcement of an end to native forest logging in Victoria. VicForests’ operations has made no economic sense, with substantial losses over many years, and its failure to conform to regulations has been well documented.

We have sent our forests to Japan in woodchips, a country which retains nearly 70 per cent of its land area as forest.

In Australia we have lost 50 per cent of our forests since colonisation and this destruction continues.

In logging we have witnessed the demolition of our precious cultural heritage, forcing the near extinction of both flora and fauna. About 86 per cent of felled native forests become woodchips and paper pulp.

More than 80 per cent of all sawn timber comes from plantations, this is the future.

Climate-wise, it is estimated that an end to logging is the equivalent of taking 730,000 petrol and diesel cars off the road. Old growth forests are important carbon sinks, and young forests which replace them are highly flammable.

Effort now needs to be directed to replen-

ishing logged areas, and to concern for those communities affected. There are jobs – in the plantation sector, in reforestation, feral and animal control, and others. Let us hope other states now review their practices and cease this destruction of our national heritage.

Margaret Reid, Rye

Help save reserve

Frankston Council will make a final decision at its 14 June meeting whether to proceed with the development of a new child and maternity centre in Long Street Reserve, Langwarrin, a beautiful and peaceful open space with an excellent playground, plus tables and seating for the community to share not just now, but also in future generations.

Local parks like this are crucial to the physical and mental health and wellbeing of the community, not to mention the environment and biodiversity of the city, something which even Frankston Council acknowledges in its policies and action plans, yet which are totally disregarded when they initially voted to proceed with this development.

It would result in the immediate loss of up to 55 trees, some of which are large mature native species that provide invaluable habitat for local wildlife with some identified by an expert on native trees as needing to be protected.

Construction work and surfacing around the area would most likely disturb the extensive root systems of remaining trees, causing them to die within a few years.

As our suburbs become more densely populated with subdivisions of existing residential blocks, together with multiple, often multi-storey dwellings being built on those subdivided blocks, open spaces for community recreation and wellbeing are becoming ever more vital and in demand. We cannot afford to lose any of the ones we already have.

Viable, non-damaging alternatives to Long Street Reserve have been identified.

We are asking residents of Frankston to come to the council meeting on 14 June and show support for our cause that council must not proceed with taking away such a valuable community and environmental asset from the residents of the City of Frankston.

Manfred Berger, Langwarrin

Budget blow ‘fatal’ for counselling service

Liz Bell liz@baysidenews.com.au

AN ADOLESCENT counselling service that covers the Mornington Peninsula and Frankston says the government will have “blood on its hands” as critical mental health services are cut.

Left and Right Counselling, which supports struggling young people across the state by providing free inperson counselling services, was left out of the budget and says it will be forced to close the doors.

CEO Daniel Lennon says this is despite a growing demand for the

service, which had grown “exponentially” off the back of the pandemic.

“We receive crisis reach outs weekly and yet our books will now have to close,” he said.

“The health minister is sending a clear message that she does not care about the mental health of our state's youth as funding is injected only into adult services.

“Our clients are victims of abuse, trauma, addiction and neglect. How do our counsellors look their clients in the eye and tell them their government doesn't care about their future and mental health?

“These are innocent vulnerable families that can't afford or access

support. It's okay not to be okay … if you can afford it.”

Lennon, who founded the service, said he was once “one of the young people” who needed help, and had made it his mission to “give back”.

“Our free counselling service has been vital for young people, you can’t fix mental health problems in just a few sessions,” he said.

A state government spokesperson denied it did not support adolescent mental health.

“We’re delivering a $776 million boost for mental health and wellbeing services right across Victoria through the latest budget, off the back of our record investment since the royal

commission,” the spokesperson said.

The government provided one-off funding to Left and Right Counselling last year to support an existing service it was providing.

The spokesperson said that since providing once-off funding, it had established a mental health and wellbeing partnership in the area with Wellways Australia.

“We have invested almost $6.5 billion dollars over the past four budgets in Victoria’s mental health and wellbeing system, as we respond to recommendations from the royal commission,” the spokesperson said.

The investments included mental health services for children, youths

and families across the state, and planned ugrades for three existing YPARC (youth prevention and recovery care) services in Frankston, Dandenong and Bendigo.

It had also expanded the Hospital Outreach Post-Suicidal Engagement (HOPE) service across the state, including four child and youth HOPE services at Alfred Health, Monash Children’s Hospital, Royal Children’s Hospital and Orygen which provided support for up to three months following discharge from hospital for a suicide attempt or self-harm.

The Guide

TOP PICKS OF THE WEEK

FRIDAY HIDDEN FIGURES

7MATE, 7.30pm

This film is based on the true story of three black women who worked behind the scenes to put man in space. Taraji P. Henson (Empire) is NASA mathematician Katherine G. Johnson who, along with her colleagues Dorothy Vaughan (Octavia Spencer, The Help) and Mary Jackson (singer Janelle Monáe, left) helped keep the USA get ahead in the space race, all while conquering the sexism and racism of the day. Heartwarming and inspiring, this is a classic feel-good flick.

THURSDAY

MIRIAM & ALAN: LOST IN SCOTLAND AND BEYOND…

ABC TV, 8pm

In this four-part follow-up, premiering tonight, Miriam Margolyes and Alan Cumming are still enamoured by Scotland, but they also expand their horizons to include California. They are like kids in a candy shop, riding the “Hogwarts Express” steam train and visiting the Cairngorms, with ordained minister Alan even conducting an LGBTQIA+ wedding. It’s a joyous take on the travelogue genre.

SUNDAY DESIGNING A LEGACY

ABC TV, 7.30pm

As the saying goes, “home is where the heart is”, and in this inspiring billet-doux to design, there’s a whole lot to love. Tim Ross returns with a lively second season to explore innovative and beautiful abodes. The playful host travels our diverse landscape to unpack our homes’ innate influence on our lives, analysing how great design connects us. It’s anything but a snobbish contemplation on architecture, but rather “about who we were, who we are and who we could be”. In tonight’s premiere, Tim explores the influence of European heritage and our understanding of place.

SATURDAY SOCCER

TEN, 7pm

The pitch is set for an epic grand final clash from Sydney’s CommBank Stadium. Fans are charged to witness the spectacle of a veteran team of seasoned players taking on a green team which hasn’t made it to the final stage for more than a decade. What do they have in common? Both three-time defending premiers Melbourne City and

Thursday, June 1

6.00 The Drum.

7.00 ABC News.

7.30 7.30.

8.00 Miriam & Alan: Lost In Scotland And Beyond… (Mdls) Part 1 of 4.

8.50 Grand Designs New Zealand. (PG, R) Hosted by Chris Moller.

9.40 One Plus One: The Elders. (Return) Dan Bourchier speaks with June Oscar.

10.10 Art Works. (R)

10.35 ABC Late News.

10.50 The Business. (R)

11.10 Ningaloo Nyinggulu. (R) 12.05 Q+A. (R)

1.10 Rage. (MA15+adhlnsv) 3.25 Rage Closer.

(R) 3.30 Antiques Roadshow. (R) 4.30 The Drum. (R)

5.30

7.30. (R)

6.00 Mastermind Australia. (PG)

6.30 SBS World News.

7.30 Inside Sydney Airport: Dawn To Curfew. (Premiere, M) A look at Sydney Kingsford Smith Airport.

8.30 Putin And The West: My Backyard. Part 1 of 3. Takes a look at the decade of clashes between Russian and Ukraine, as told by the Western leaders.

9.35 Normal People. (MA15+) Connell and Marianne’s relationship continues.

10.35 SBS World News Late.

11.05 Catch And Release. (MA15+l)

11.55 Red Light. (MA15+ad, R)

4.30 Mastermind Australia. (R) 5.00 NHK World English News Morning. 5.30 ANC Philippines The World Tonight.

6.00 Seven News.

7.00 Home And Away. (PGav) Justin will do anything to save Andrew.

8.30 The Front Bar. (M) Hosts Mick Molloy, Sam Pang and Andy Maher take a lighter look at all things AFL.

9.30 Britain’s Got Talent. (PG, R) Auditions continue as weird, wacky and wonderful acts compete in front of celebrity judges.

10.40 The Latest: Seven News.

11.10 Fantasy Island. (Ma)

12.10 The Goldbergs. (Ml, R)

1.10 Travel Oz. (PG, R)

2.00 Home Shopping. (R)

4.00 NBC Today. 5.00 Seven Early News.

5.30 Sunrise.

6.00 Nine News.

7.00 A Current Affair.

7.30 RBT. (Mal, R)

8.30 Paramedics. (Mam, R) A teen has a fall and seizure at school.

9.30 Casualty 24/7. (Mm) A windowfitter is rushed to hospital.

10.30 A+E After Dark. (Malm, R)

11.25 Nine News Late.

11.50 The First 48. (Malv, R) 12.40 Tipping Point. (PG, R) 1.30 TV Shop: Home Shopping.

(R) 2.30 Global Shop. (R) 3.00 TV Shop:

9.30 To Be Advised.

Law & Order: SVU. (Mas, R) A schoolgirl goes missing.

The Project. (R)

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. (PG)

Jamie Maclaren stars for Melbourne City FC.

Friday, June 2

6.00 The Drum.

7.00 ABC News.

7.30 Gardening Australia. Costa Georgiadis meets flower show designers.

8.30 Smother. (Mal) Anna confronts her new stepfather Paul about their own one night stand and invites him to the hotel.

9.25 Mayfair Witches. (Mav) Rowan grapples with an inconceivable offer.

10.05 Interview With The Vampire. (Mahlv) Louis and Lestat live through the Depression.

10.50 ABC Late News.

11.05 The Split. (Ml, R)

12.05 Harrow. (Madnsv, R)

1.55 Rage. (MA15+adhlnsv)

ABC TV PLUS (22)

6.00 Mastermind Australia. (PG)

6.30 SBS World News.

7.30 Building The Impossible: Oil Rig. (PG)

8.30 Marseille: Birth Of A Megapolis. Explores the history of Marseilles.

9.30 Legends Of The Pharaohs: The Tyrant King. (Masv, R) A look at the Great Pyramid of Giza.

10.25 SBS World News Late.

10.55 Darkness: Those Who Kill. (MA15+av)

6.00 Seven News.

7.00 Better Homes And Gardens. Johanna Griggs catches up with Kate Flood, who teaches about the benefits of composting.

7.30 Football. AFL. Round 12. Melbourne v Carlton. From the MCG.

10.30 AFL Post-Game Show. Post-game discussion and interviews.

11.00 Armchair Experts. (M) A panel discusses all things AFL.

6.00 Nine News.

7.00 A Current Affair.

7.30 Country House Hunters Australia. Hosted by Catriona Rowntree.

8.30 MOVIE: Skyfall. (2012, Mlv, R)

In the wake of a botched operation and the apparent death of 007, M finds herself under pressure to resign. Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Javier Bardem.

11.25 Emergency Call. (Ma, R)

12.15 Tipping Point. (PG, R)

6.30 The Project. A look at the day’s news and events.

7.30 Bondi Rescue. (PGal) Lifeguards honour their former colleague Terry with a traditional paddle out.

8.30 To Be Advised.

5.00 Buddi. 5.10 Late Programs.

NITV (34)

1.50pm Kungka Kunpu. 2.00 Shortland St. 2.30

The Cook Up. 3.00 Jarjums. 3.40 Aussie Bush

Tales. 3.55 Seven Sacred Laws. 4.00 Grace Beside

Me. 4.30 Spartakus And The Sun Beneath The Sea. 5.00 Our Stories. 5.30 NITV News: Nula.

6.00 Bamay. 6.40 Africa’s Hidden Kingdoms. 7.30

Duckrockers. 8.00 MOVIE: Yolngu Boy. (2001, M)

9.35 Land Bilong Islanders. 10.35 Late Programs.

3.30 Mastermind Australia. (R)

11.50 Vienna Blood. (Ma, R)

5.00 NHK World English News Morning. 5.30 ANC Philippines The World Tonight.

4.30 Bamay. (R)

SBS WORLD MOVIES (32) 6am Morning Programs.

6am The Movie Show. 6.10 Asterix And Obelix In Britain. (2012, PG, French) 8.15 Dr Strangelove. (1964) 10.05 Transcendence. (2014, M) 12.15pm The Reluctant Fundamentalist. (2012, M) 2.40 The Movie Show. 3.10 Hotel Salvation. (2016, PG, Hindi)

5.05 A River Runs Through It. (1992, PG) 7.20 Steel Magnolias. (1989, PG) 9.30 Good Night, And Good Luck. (2005, PG) 11.15 Late Programs.

12.00 MOVIE: Slam. (2018, MA15+alv) A young man’s sister disappears. Adam Bakri.

2.30 Home Shopping. (R)

4.00 Million Dollar Minute. (R)

5.00 NBC Today.

Saturday, June 3

6.20 The ABC Of... (PG, R)

6.50 Bluey. (R)

7.00 ABC News. A look at the top stories of the day.

7.30 Sister Boniface Mysteries. (Mav) Sister Reg’s brother is implicated in a murder.

8.15 Miniseries: The North Water. (Malv) Part 4 of 5. Drax has a daring opportunity to escape but must convince Cavendish to help him.

9.15 Ragdoll. (MA15+v) Rose and Baxter try to outwit the killer with an unorthodox plan to save the life of the next potential victim.

10.00 The Messenger. (Mal, R)

Another ace appears.

11.00 Rage. (MA15+adhlnsv)

6.30 SBS World News.

7.30 The Real Crown: Inside The House Of Windsor: Threats. (PG)

8.25 Westminster Abbey: Behind Closed Doors. (PG) It is Holy week at Westminster Abbey.

9.15 World’s Most Scenic River

Journeys: Niagara. (PGa, R)

Narrated by Bill Nighy.

10.10 Britain’s Most Expensive Houses. (PGl, R)

11.05 Medici: The Magnificent Part II. (MA15+v, R) 2.05 Life Drawing UK. (Mln, R)

4.05 Mastermind Australia. (R) 4.35 Bamay.

(R)

5.00 NHK World English News Morning.

5.15 France 24 Feature. 5.30 ANC Philippines

The World Tonight.

6am WorldWatch. 10.00 Cryptoland. Noon Curse Of Oak Island. 1.30

Jeopardy! 3.10 WorldWatch. 5.05 Mastermind Aust. 6.00 Monty

6.00 Seven News.

7.00 Football. AFL. Round 12. Western Bulldogs v Geelong.

10.30 AFL Post-Game Show. A wrap-up of the game, including panel discussion and interviews, with access to players, coaches and staff.

11.00 To Be Advised.

12.05 MOVIE: The Favourite. (2018, MA15+l, R) Two women engage in a power struggle. Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz.

2.30 Home Shopping. (R)

4.00 Get Arty. (R) A showcase of art projects.

5.00 House Of Wellness. (PGa, R)

1.05 It’s All Greek To Me. (PG, R)

1.30 TV Shop: Home Shopping. (R)

4.00 Postcards. (PG, R)

4.30 Global Shop. (R)

5.00 TV Shop: Home Shopping. (R) 5.30

Skippy The Bush Kangaroo. (R)

9.30 The Graham Norton Show. (Mls, R) Graham Norton is joined by actors Michelle Williams, Helena Bonham Carter and Brendan Fraser, screenwriter Russell T Davies and talent show judge Oti Mabuse. Music from singer-songwriter Cat Burns.

11.30 The Project. (R) A look at the day’s news and events.

12.30 The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. (PG) Late-night talk show.

1.30 Home Shopping. (R)

6.00 Nine News Saturday.

7.00 A Current Affair.

7.30 MOVIE: Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix. (2007, Mhv, R) Harry returns for his fifth year at Hogwarts.

Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint.

10.10 MOVIE: Clash Of The Titans. (2010, Mv, R) A king recruits a warrior. Sam Worthington.

12.05 Robin’s Wish. (Mad, R)

1.25 The Pet Rescuers. (PG, R)

1.50 9Honey Hacks. (R)

2.00 The Incredible Journey Presents. (PGa)

2.30 TV Shop: Home Shopping. (R)

4.30 Global Shop. (R) 5.00 TV Shop: Home Shopping. (R) 5.30 Helping Hands. (PG, R)

6.00 The Dog House. (PGa) Dogs are matched with companions. A basset hound is on the prowl for a new owner. Second chances are in store for a Jack Russell puppy. A couple have to see past a pooch’s size to find a place for it.

7.00 Soccer. A-League Men. Grand final. Melbourne City v Central Coast Mariners. From CommBank Stadium, Sydney.

11.00 To Be Advised.

12.00 Home Shopping. (R)

5.00 Hour Of Power. Religious program.

(Mav, R) 3.25 Miriam & Alan: Lost

In Scotland And Beyond… (PG, R) 4.10 Grand Designs New Zealand. (PG, R) 5.00 Art Works.

5.30 Antiques Roadshow.

6.30 Compass: Julia Gillard.

7.00 ABC News.

7.30 Designing A Legacy. (PG) Part 1 of 2.

8.30 The Messenger. (Malsv) Completing the ace builds Ed’s confidence, and unexpectedly leads him closer to his estranged family.

9.25 Silent Witness. (Malv) Nikki is forced to face her past.

10.25 In Limbo. (Mls, R)

10.55 Interview With The Vampire. (Mahlv, R)

11.40 Mayfair Witches. (Mav, R)

12.25 Will Australia Ever Have A Black Prime Minister? (R)

1.20 Rage. (MA15+adhlnsv) 3.05 The Heights. (PG, R) 5.00 Insiders. (R)

6.00 WorldWatch. 9.00 Growing A Greener World. 10.00 Urban Conversion. (PG) 11.00

The World From Above. (R) 12.00 APAC Weekly. 12.30 ABC World News Tonight With David Muir. 1.00 Motor Racing. Hi-Tec Oils

Super Series. Round 3. 4.00

6.30 SBS World News.

7.30 Shackleton’s Endurance: The Lost Ice Ship Found. A look at the discovery of the Endurance

8.40 Pompeii: The Secrets Of Civita Giuliana. Delves into the discovery of a Roman ceremonial chariot near the ruins of Pompeii.

9.40 Patagonia: Mountains. Narrated by Pedro Pascal.

10.30 Searching For Cleopatra. (Ma, R)

12.05 Biden V Trump: The Choice 2020. (Mav, R)

2.15 Revealed: The Hunt For Bin Laden. (Mav, R) 3.45 Mastermind Australia. (R) 4.15 Bamay. (R) 5.00 NHK World English News Morning.

5.15 France 24 Feature. 5.30 Al Jazeera News.

6.00 Seven News.

7.00 7NEWS Spotlight. An exclusive, special investigation.

8.30 Secrets Of Prince Andrew. (PGas) Part 2 of 2. Prince Andrew takes part in a disastrous BBC interview.

10.30 Born To Kill? Cleophus Prince Jr. (MA15+av) Takes a look at Cleophus Prince Jr.

11.30 Autopsy USA: Bill Bixby. (Mad, R)

12.30 The Rookie. (Madv, R)

1.30 Last Chance Learners. (Final, PG, R)

2.00 Home Shopping. (R)

3.30 Million Dollar Minute. (R)

4.00 NBC Today.

5.00 Seven Early News. 5.30 Sunrise.

6.00 Nine News Sunday.

7.00 The Summit. (Final, PGl)

8.30 60 Minutes. Current affairs program, investigating, analysing and uncovering the issues affecting all Australians.

9.30 Australian Crime Stories: Billy The Texan. (Mlv, R) A look at Billy “The Texan” Longley.

10.30 Nine News Late.

11.00 The First 48: Standing Ground. (Mal)

11.50 Law & Order: Organized Crime. (MA15+v, R)

12.40 Family Law. (Ma, R)

1.30 TV Shop: Home Shopping. (R) 4.00 Believer’s Voice Of Victory. (PGa) 4.30 Take Two. (R) 5.00 News Early Edition. 5.30 Today.

6am Morning Programs. 7.30

In Touch. 8.00 Beyond Today. 8.30 The Incredible Journey. 9.00 TV Shop. 10.00 My Favorite Martian.

NITV (34)

SBS WORLD MOVIES (32) 6am Morning Programs.

2.25pm Rugby Union. Ella 7s. Replay. 2.50

Football. NTFL. Women’s Under 18s. Replay. 4.05

Football. NTFL. Men’s. Under-18s. St Marys v Darwin Buffaloes. Replay. 5.25 The South Sydney Story. 6.00 Songlines On Screen. 6.15 News. 6.25 Natural Born Rebels. 7.25 Resistance In A Hostile Environment: Uprising. 8.30 MOVIE: Hostile. (2022) 10.15 Late Programs.

Monday, June 5

Gagarine. (2020, M, French) 2.40 Steel Magnolias. (1989, PG) 4.50 Good Night, And Good Luck. (2005, PG) 6.30 Leave No Trace. (2018, PG) 8.30 Seberg. (2019, M) 10.25 Breathless. (1960, M, French) 12.05am Late Programs.

Australian Story. Presented by Leigh Sales.

8.30 Four Corners. Investigative journalism program.

9.15 Media Watch. (PG)

Hosted by Paul Barry.

9.35 Q+A. Public affairs program.

10.35 Breaking The Code: Cyber Secrets Exposed. (R) 11.35 ABC Late News. 11.50

The Business. (R) 12.10 The Split. (Ml, R)

1.10 Father Brown. (Mv, R) 1.55 There Goes Our Neighbourhood. (Ml, R) 2.55 Rage. (MA15+adhlnsv) 3.30 Antiques Roadshow. (R)

4.30 The Drum. (R) 5.30 7.30. (R)

6.00 Mastermind Australia. (PG)

6.30 SBS World News.

7.35 Secrets Of The Tower Of London. (PGa) It is the start of the Platinum Jubilee.

8.30 Michael Palin In North Korea. (R) Part 2 of 2.

9.20 Reframed: Marilyn Monroe: Icon. (Madnv) Part 4 of 4.

10.10 SBS World News Late.

10.40 Miniseries: Bonnie And Clyde. (MA15+asv)

11.25 Miss S. (Mav, R)

1.30 Cargo. (MA15+v, R) 3.25 Mastermind Australia. (R) 4.25 Bamay. (R) 5.00 NHK

World English News Morning. 5.30 ANC

Philippines The World Tonight.

6.00 Seven News.

7.00 Home And Away. (PGav)

7.30 The 1% Club. (PGl) Hosted by Jim Jefferies.

8.35 9-1-1. (Ma) A fire breaks out in an accountant’s office and a car crashes into a “living funeral”.

9.35 9-1-1: Lone Star. (Mav) The team responds to a bomb threat.

10.35 The Latest: Seven News.

11.05 The Blacklist. (Mav)

12.05 The Rookie. (Mav, R)

1.05 Kochie’s Business Builders. (R)

1.35 Harry’s Practice. (R)

2.00 Home Shopping. (R) 4.00 NBC Today.

5.00 Seven Early News. 5.30 Sunrise.

6.00 Nine News.

7.00 A Current Affair.

7.30 Parental Guidance. (Return, PGal) Hosted by Allison Langdon.

9.10 Police Rescue Australia. (PG) As officers attend a call-out for a female bushwalker suffering crippling back pain.

10.10 Footy Classified. (M) Footy experts tackle the AFL’s big issues.

11.10 Nine News Late.

11.40 The Equalizer. (MA15+av, R)

12.30 Tipping Point. (PG, R)

1.30 TV Shop: Home Shopping. (R)

2.30 Global Shop. (R)

(R)

6.30 The Sunday Project. A look at the day’s news.

7.30 MasterChef Australia. (PGa) The contestants embark on a trip down memory lane with a ’70s-themed dinner party.

9.00 NCIS: Hawai’i. (Final, Mv) When a figure from Tennant’s CIA past re-emerges, the NCIS team seeks help from the most unlikely place.

10.00 NCIS: Hawai’i. (Mv, R) NCIS crosses paths with Whistler’s team.

11.00 The Sunday Project. (R) A look at the day’s news.

12.00 Home Shopping. (R)

4.30 CBS Mornings.

TV Shop: Home

6.30 The Project. A look at the day’s news and events.

7.30 MasterChef Australia. (PGa) Amateur cooks compete.

8.40 Have You Been Paying Attention? (Malns) Celebrity panellists include Lizzy Hoo, Luke McGregor and Urzila Carlson.

9.40 Just For Laughs Australia. (MA15+s) Hosted by Nath Valvo.

10.10 FBI: Most Wanted. (Mav) Two land management agents go missing.

12.00 The Project. (R)

1.00 The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. (PG)

2.00 Home Shopping. (R)

4.30 CBS Mornings.

Tuesday, June 6

8.00 The ABC Of... (Ml)

8.30 Dolphins: Is Our Love Too Deep? Explores the human impact on wild dolphins.

9.30 The Homes That Built Australia: Hard Country (1975 - 1990)

10.25 ABC Late News. 10.40 The Business. (R) 11.00 Four Corners. (R) 11.45 Media Watch. (PG, R) 12.00 Shakespeare And Hathaway. (PG, R) 12.45 The Pacific: In The Wake Of Captain Cook With Sam Neill. (PG, R) 1.35 Rage. (MA15+adhlnsv) 3.30 Antiques Roadshow. (PG, R) 4.30 The Drum. (R) 5.30

7.30. (R)

6.00 Mastermind Australia. (PG)

6.30 SBS World News.

7.30 Who Do You Think You Are? Peter Helliar. (PG)

8.30 Insight. Presented by Kumi Taguchi.

9.30 Dateline: Dealing With Debt.

A look at Britain’s cost-of-living crisis.

10.00 SBS World News Late.

10.30 The Point. (R)

11.30 Pandore. (Malv) 12.25 Hope. (MA15+av)

1.35 Partisan. (Malnsv, R) 3.25 Miniseries: The Walk-In. (Malv, R) 4.15 Mastermind Australia. (R) 4.45 Bamay. (R) 5.00 NHK World English News Morning. 5.30 ANC Philippines The World Tonight.

6.00 Seven News.

7.00 Home And Away. (PGav)

7.30 Better Homes And Gardens. Hosted by Johanna Griggs.

9.00 The Rookie. (Mav) Rosalind returns with a vengeance and Bailey’s

Wednesday, June 7

6.00 The Drum.

7.00 ABC News.

7.30 7.30.

8.00 Utopia. (Return, PG) A freeway project is delayed.

8.30 The Weekly With Charlie Pickering. (PG) A satirical news program.

9.00 In Limbo. (Mals) Charlie’s angst comes to a head.

9.30 QI. (Mls, R) Hosted by Sandi Toksvig.

10.05 Take 5 With Zan Rowe. (PG, R)

10.35 ABC Late News.

10.50 The Business. (R) 11.05 Ragdoll.

(MA15+v, R) 11.50 Father Brown. (PG, R) 12.35

Operation Buffalo. (Final, Malv, R) 1.35 Rage.

(MA15+adhlnsv) 3.30 Antiques Roadshow.

(PG, R) 4.30 The Drum. (R) 5.30 7.30. (R)

6.00 Mastermind Australia. (PG)

6.30 SBS World News.

7.35 History Of The Sitcom: Just Friends. (M) A look at “hanging out with friends” sitcoms.

8.30 The Mayfair Hotel Megabuild.

(M) Part 1 of 3. Follows the engineering challenges faced by Claridge’s, one of London’s most luxurious hotels.

9.35 Blue Lights. (MA15+a) A paramilitarystyle assault case has Grace determined to bring the McIntyres to their knees.

10.35 SBS World News Late.

11.05 The Congregation. (MA15+s)

12.00 Unit One. (MA15+al, R)

5.00 NHK World English News Morning. 5.30 ANC Philippines The World Tonight.

6.00 Seven News.

7.00 Home And Away. (PGav)

7.30 Cricket. ICC World Test Championship. Final. Australia v India. Day 1. Morning session.

9.30 ICC World Test Championship: The Lunch Break. Takes a look at the day’s play.

10.10 Cricket. ICC World Test Championship. Final. Australia v India. Day 1. Afternoon session.

12.10 ICC World Test Championship: Tea Break. 12.30 Cricket. ICC World Test C’ship. Final. Australia v India. Day 1. Late afternoon session. From The Oval, London, England.

3.00 Home Shopping. (R) 4.00 NBC Today.

5.00 Seven Early News. 5.30 Sunrise.

7.30

6.30 The Project. A look at the day’s news and events.

7.30 MasterChef Australia. (PGa) Amateur cooks compete.

8.40 The Cheap Seats. (Mal) Presenters Melanie Bracewell and Tim McDonald take a look at the week that was.

9.40 The Family Stallone. (Ml) A candid look inside the Stallone family.

10.10

(Mv, R) A US

6.00 Nine News.

7.00 A Current Affair.

7.30 Travel Guides. (PGln)

8.30 Footy Classified. (M) Footy experts tackle the AFL’s big issues.

9.30 MOVIE: London Has Fallen. (2016, MA15+lv, R) Terrorists attack world leaders in London. Gerard Butler.

11.25 Nine News Late.

11.50 Council Of Dads. (PGa, R) 12.40 Tipping Point. (PG, R) 1.30 TV Shop: Home Shopping.

(R) 2.30 Global Shop. (R) 3.00 TV Shop: Home Shopping. (R) 4.00 Believer’s Voice Of Victory. (PGa) 4.30 A Current Affair. (R) 5.00 News Early Edition. 5.30 Today.

6.30 The Project. A look at the day’s news and events.

7.30 MasterChef Australia. (PGa) The cooks take part in a relay.

8.40 North Shore. (Mlv) Abigail makes a shock announcement as the detectives get closer to learning the truth.

9.40 Law & Order: SVU. (Final) In the search for a revenge-for-hire crime ring, Benson and Stabler join forces on a case that has global reach.

10.40 Fire Country. (Mav) 11.30 The Project. (R)

12.30 The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. (PG)

1.30 Home Shopping. (R)

PUZZLE ZONE

ACROSS

1. Boxer

5. Honey pots

7. Cosmetics gel, aloe ...

8. Pocket blade

9. Afternoon crockery (3,3)

12. Taunting

15. Cigar

19. Theatre entrance halls

21. Broad vista

22. Soft drink

23. Feat

24. Food supplement

DOWN

1. Swivels

2. Welsh actor, Rhys ...

3. Data entered

4. Pins & needles sensation

5. Office underling

6. Glimpsing

10. WWII diarist, ... Frank

11. Resound

THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE... AND OTHER SHORT STORIES

12. Protrude

13. Italy’s currency unit

14. Ireland, the Emerald ...

15. Topped

16. Vinyl 78

17. Canada’s capital

18. Flee

19. Impostor

20. Pleasure cruiser

Puzzles supplied by Lovatts Publications Pty Ltd

www.lovattspuzzles.com

See page 15 for solutions.

Call Me Email (or Emoji Wizz)

By Stuart McCullough

UH oh. This has trouble, if not written all over it, then at least in the form of a small symbol. They look so friendly. Harmless even. But nothing could be further from the truth. One slip of the mouse and you might as well start packing your personal belongings into a small cardboard box. The difference between triumph and catastrophic disaster has never been so fine. So precarious. So colourful. I speak, of course, of the ‘emoji’ function on the emails at work.

I’ll admit I’m something of a novice when it comes to the emoji. As best as I can tell, it’s a mysterious subculture that outsiders like myself struggle to make sense of. On one level, it’s very simple – an emoji smile means you’re happy, just like a regular smile. An emoji thumbs up is indistinguishable from any other thumbs up, save for the Simpsonesque colour and it has the same basic meaning. But there’s another, more disturbing level where nothing is as it seems. This is especially the case when it comes to fruit and vegetables. An eggplant is no mere aubergine. Which is disappointing if you’re a fan of eggplant moussaka (and, let’s be honest, who isn’t?). And that’s just the tip of the iceberg lettuce.

I’ve barely used an emoji in my life. Put simply, brevity is not my strong suit. I’d much rather write a small essay than send someone a little yellow face (or a not so yellow eggplant) to communicate my thoughts. I’m most comfortable when I am showered in

words. The more the merrier. But things are now moving beyond mere language. As a species we’ve evolved from rudimentary cave paintings to language and back to rudimentary graphics, albeit on our phones rather than slapped onto a random piece of granite. Emojis are the way of the future and it’s time to get on board.

There’s no point resisting. It won’t be like that time in 1990 when I de-

clared that personal computers were a ‘fad’, that we’d all soon come to our senses and go back to using typewriters. Not at all. (And, if you’re curious, this piece was written on a Smith Corona SL 470 – I’m so glad that I purchase typewriter ribbon in bulk!) Symbols are here to stay. In fact, at some point I suspect they’ll replace words altogether. Which would make for a shorter article. Or, for that mat-

ter, a far more succinct novel. Imagine Herman Melville’s ‘Moby Dick’ as an emoji. Libraries could downsize to something more like a pantry. But the real problem with being able to send work colleagues an emoji is the risk that you might send them the wrong emoji. That’s because they ‘smiley face’ emoji – which would absolutely be my emoji of choice in a work setting – has been placed right next to the ‘love heart’ emoji. There is, I feel, a world of difference between a smiley face emoji and a love heart. They’re not different points of the same scale. But despite this world of difference, on the email system they’re right next to each other which means that you only have to sneeze at the wrong moment and, suddenly, HR’s involved.

I don’t care how much colleagues like my email reminding them to use the recycle bins, it won’t deserve a love heart emoji. And I’d be horrified if, in responding, I missed the smiley face and hit the love heart instead. By any measure, it would be an odd response to a spreadsheet with last quarter’s sale figures.

To be fair, I should have seen it coming. For a while now, some of the platforms have allowed the use of ‘gifs’ – small pieces of footage that convey some kind of point, usually by appropriating a piece of pop culture ephemera that either delights or mystifies the people you work with. Despite my lack of experience in the world of emojis, I am black belt at sending gifs.

Selecting the right gif is harder than you think. You’ve got to keep in light hearted without going so far as to insult anyone. Typically, I like to find something from an old movie or television show to get my point across. Sometimes it works. Other times it proves that I’m older than many of those with whom I work and they have no idea what it is I’m talking about.

When my gifs hit the mark, I receive a ton of ‘thumbs up’ emojis. When they don’t, I receive nothing but silence and a wide-berth in the corridor. There’s nothing quite like silence to age-shame you at work.

Change is the only constant. It’s better to embrace it. Already, I’ve deployed the emoji function in responding to emails. To date, there have been no incidents of the love-heart variety. That’s because of instead of flicking off a quick emoji, I approach emoji selection with all the dutiful care and preparation of a shuttle launch. I’m sure that whoever decided to include emojis in emails thought they would save time, but I am determined to prove them wrong.

Frankly, it’s hard to keep up with rapidly changing social expectations. It leaves me feeling fascinated but slightly apprehensive as to what the future may hold. I don’t how else to describe that feeling, but I’ll bet there’s an emoji for it. stuart@stuartmccullough.com

Angry Waves and Tempest - Frankston Pier Damaged

Compiled by Cameron McCullough

THE rough and squally weather

which prevailed along the bayside on Wednesday last caused a considerable amount of damage.

Remarkably heavy seas were running and the wind blew with hurricane force, rendering the electric service useless and dislocating business arrangements.

The shore line from Mornington and Frankston to Aspendale and Mentone was a beautiful sight, but at Frankston serious damage was done to the pier.

At the end of the pier piles were forced out and the structure pushed, leaving a huge gap in the L end of the pier.

The heavy timber was dashed ashore. The rest of the pier suffered, planks being torn off by the pressure of water and left in a dangerous and dilapidated condition.

Bathing boxes were upturned, and in one case a heavy hardwood box was deposited 500 yards away from its original moorings.

The Kananook Creek was running a banker and overflowed on to the flat opposite Mr. Short’s residence. ***

Motor Ambulance Brigade. THE PENINSULA EFFORT.

(By Mr. J. Jack, Bittern).

A meeting of the above was held in Mornington on Saturday, 12th inst. Cr. Flanagan occupied the chair.

It was decided to hold an ambulance week and ask all places in the area to hold an entertainment on one night in that week, so a meeting has been called for June 9 in Mornington to arrange which week and to ask a delegate from each district to attend

the meeting to get the opinion of the people, so that the week will be made a success.

A member from the central committee will attend to explain the method of allotting cars. This matter has been in course for 18 months, and it is so far advanced that all that is wanted now is a unanimous effort to accomplish the object in view.

The country branch of the Civil Ambulance is going to establish centres in all parts of the State, so don’t let the Peninsula be behind.

There need be no doubt of the success of this scheme, as it is sure to come.

The burden is light, so let each one do their bit and that is all that is required. We are fifth on the list now.

Don’t let the opportunity pass. If you are interested in the service, come to the meeting, whether elected by a public body or not. We want a delegate from your district, but if that is impossible please answer these questions:

(a) Are you in favor of an ambulance service?

(b) What week is most suitable for ambulance week in your district?

Mr. Hansford, of Melbourne, will address the meeting in the Mechanics’ Institute, Mornington, at 3pm. ***

FRANKSTON POLICE COURT.

Monday, 28th May.

Before Mr. G. W. Smith, P.M., and Messrs. C. W. Grant and J. Brown, J.sP.

Woman Holds Up Train.

The Railway Department proceeded against Mrs. Dale for trespassing on the railway line at Seaford.

O. J. A. Forrester, relieving assistant S.M., said that on 12th March last at 2.20pm he noticed defendant standing on the permanent-way within one foot of the line.

She was conversing with another woman, who was on the railway platform. Witness approached defendant and asked her to leave as a train was approaching. She refused and witness was compelled to signal to the train to stop.

Defendant: That is not true, Mr Forrester.

J. W. Delahenty, porter, said he saw defendant on the line as described by the previous witness. Witness told her to move away, and she said she would not go for all the Mr. Forresters in existence.

The incoming train was delayed in consequence.

Defendant did not enter the witnessbox, but elected to make a statement. She said there was no board erected to show that she was trespassing. She only did what others in the place were in the habit of doing.

Mr. Forrester was only acting out of pure spite. The witnesses for the prosecution had been most insulting to her.

P.M.: The stationmaster was there to do his duty. You had no right to be where you were. You come here in a rather offensive manner to uphold the wrong you did.

It is the like of you that get other people into trouble.

You are fined 10/- with 7/6 costs. ***

MR. Lalor, stationmaster at Frankston, is on sick leave this week, owing to a severe attack of influenza.

***

TWO pupils of Miss. Overton, D.M.S.V. – Misses Audrey West and Phyllis Fisher – were candidates at the May examinations of the Musical Society of Victoria, both of whom were successful in their respective grades. ***

MR. O. Wells, who met with an accident some time ago, and had to have a slight operation, on his left leg, is now about again and able to attend to his duties as caretaker of the Frankston Park. ***

MR. and Mrs. Chester Manifold have left on a honeymoon visit to England, via America. Brigadier General and Mrs, Grimwade went to Sydney to wish them bon voyage. ***

MR. Fred Hanton, of Frankston, had been on the sick list for a week or two, but has now made a good recovery. ***

MR. Charles Mooney, of the Flinders Naval Base, who fought at the Melbourne Stadium last Wednesday night, succeeded in knocking out his opponent in a few minutes. ***

THE many friends of Mr. D. J. Quartermain, of Frankston, will regret to learn that he has suffered a sad bereavement in the death of his mother, which sad event took place very suddenly on Saturday last.

Deceased, who resided, at West Melbourne, was apparently in her usual good health on Saturday morning when she was attacked with a sudden seizure and expired the same evening. She was 62 years of age. ***

CR. Rigby, of Carrum, has been away in the country for a few days on business. We hope he returns better for his trip.

Cr. Rigby has been a great grafter for Carrum, and even since his advent in the Council at the inception of the Borough, he has not spared himself when his public duties called; even before the severance took place Cr. Rigby played a prominent part in the life of Carrum.

***

LAST week Mr. J. L. Piatt, purchased from Dr. Maxwell a building site for a private residence on Melbourne Road, Frankston.

***

MR. Thos. Sage, of Baxter, who has been in ill-health for some time, was operated on for appendicitis at St. Kilda on Wednesday last, and is now doing well.

***

GENERAL Sir Brudenall White, accompanied by Brigadier General Jess and other distinguished military officers, has been spending a short holiday at Mornington.

***

MRS. F. Taylor, of Frankston, who recently contracted pleurisy, has now recovered and able to attend to her duties. ***

THE residents of Yarram have donated £10 to the Ragged Boys’ Home at Frankston, to enable them to purchase a cow for the home.

***

From the pages of the Frankston and Somerville Standard, 30 May and 1 June 1923

The Victorian Equal Opportunity Act 1995 makes it unlawful for an advertiser to show any intention to discriminate on the basis of sex, pregnancy, race, age, marital status, political or religious belief or physical features, disability, lawful sexual activity/sexual orientation, HIV/AIDS status or on the basis of being associated with a person with one of the above characteristics, unless covered by an exception under the Act. As Network Classifieds could be legally liable if an unlawful advertisement is printed, Network Classifieds will not accept advertisements that appear to break the law. For more information about discrimination in advertising, contact your legal advisers or the Equal Opportunity Commission.

CHELSEA MORDIALLOC MENTONE NEWS

Tigers keep up winning ways, Stonecats impress

MPNFL

By Brodie Cowburn

DIVISION ONE

BONBEACH got the better of Sorrento in a shootout last Saturday.

David Macfarlane Reserve hosted the battle of the Sharks. Sorrento raced out to an early lead at home, but by halftime Bonbeach led by a goal.

Sorrento gained the lead back in the third term. They were ahead by 14 points at three-quarter-time.

Sorrento’s excellent kicking kept them in a good position. At three-quarter-time they had kicked 12.1.

Eleven goals were kicked during the thrilling final term. It was Bonbeach who emerged victorious.

Bonbeach defeated Sorrento 16.4 (100) to 16.12 (108). Leigh Poholke booted six goals for Sorrento, and Trent

Dennis-Lane kicked five for Bonbeach.

Langwarrin nearly claimed their second win for the season against Rosebud last Saturday, but fell short.

The Kangaroos fought from behind after a four goals to zero first term. Rosebud was able to hold on though, and eventually claimed a seven point win 8.14 (62) to 10.9 (69).

Stephen Cumming and Josh Stevens were Rosebud’s best.

Dromana picked up their eighth consecutive win on Saturday. They defeated Pines by ten goals.

Frankston Bombers were 14 point winners over Red Hill at Baxter Park last weekend, and reigning premiers Frankston YCW jumped up to second place with a 21 point win over Mt Eliza.

DIVISION TWO

UNDEFEATED Karingal survived a late scare to keep their winning streak

intact last weekend.

The Bulls played Pearcedale away from home. After a scrappy first half, Karingal opened up a 14 point lead heading into the final term.

Pearcedale booted four final quarter goals to close the gap, but they didn’t do enough to win. Karingal held on for a narrow 7.9 (51) to 8.9 (57) victory.

Dale Alanis led from the front for Karingal with three vital goals. Matt Robinson, Alex Frawley, and Tom Curren were also among the best.

Mornington continued their promotion push with a huge victory over Seaford.

The ruthless Bulldogs booted 26 goals for the afternoon. Tim Susovich scored seven of them, and Jackson Calder scored five.

Mornington ended up winning

13.9 (87) to 26.15 (171). Jack Lonie booted six goals for Seaford.

Chelsea finished the round in third place after a 13.17 (95) to 9.8 (62) triumph over Tyabb. Edithvale-As-

NEXT WEEK’S GAMES

Division One

Bonbeach v Pines, 2pm, Sat 3

June, Bonbeach Reserve

Dromana v Sorrento, 2pm, Sat 3

June, Dromana Recreation Reserve

Mt. Eliza v Frankston Bombers, 2pm, Sat 3 June, Emil Madsen Reserve

Rosebud v Frankston YCW, 2pm, Sat 3 June, Olympic Park Rosebud Red Hill v Langwarrin, 2pm, Sat 3

June, Red Hill Recreation Reserve

pendale defeated Crib Point by 70 points, Somerville beat Hastings by 37, and Devon Meadows comfortably beat Rye to close out the round.

Division Two

Crib Point v Chelsea, 2pm, Sat 3

June, Crib Point Recreation Reserve

Devon Meadows v Seaford, 2pm, Sat 3 June, Glover Reserve

Tyabb v Edithvale-Aspendale, 2pm, Sat 3 June, Bunguyan Reserve

Pearcedale v Hastings, 2pm, Sat 3 June, Pearcedale Recreation Reserve

Karingal v Rye, 2pm, Sat 3 June, Karingal Football Club

Somerville v Mornington, 2pm, Sat 3 June, Somerville Football Club

Picture: Alan Dillon

Currie joins Baxter at Baxter

SOCCER

By Craig MacKenzie

THE friendship between Aaran Currie and Liam Baxter played a major part in reuniting their striking partnership last week.

It led Currie to drop from State 2 to State 4 level quitting Frankston Pines and heading to Baxter Park.

Currie, whose CV includes spells at Langwarrin, St Albans Saints, Peninsula Strikers and Casey Comets joined Pines last year and along with teammate Baxter formed part of a formidable strike force that helped win promotion from State 3.

Baxter was Pines’ leading scorer but left at the end of the season.

Currie’s decision to leave Monterey Reserve last week caught the coaching staff and committee by surprise.

He sent a text message to Pines head coach Kevin “Squizzy” Taylor and told him that he wasn’t enjoying his football and wanted a change.

“I’m disappointed to lose him but I understand enjoyment is a massive part of playing,” Taylor said.

“You have to enjoy yourself or it becomes a chore.”

Currie made his debut for his new club in Baxter’s 2-1 home win on Saturday over Keysborough.

After going behind early in the second half Brodie Jones levelled with a superb header from a Liam Baxter corner in the 52nd minute but the home side had to wait until the 92nd minute for the winner.

That was when Keegan Myatt scored a “belter” after being put through by Aleks Dukic and although Keysborough keeper Max Krista got a hand to Myatt’s left-foot strike it still thundered into the net.

In other State 4 clashes Somerville drew 0-0 away to Sandown Lions in a fiery clash last weekend.

Josh Simmons was sent off in a match marred by player clashes and Somerville claims that a match steward struck senior coach Adam Steele.

There was no such drama at Spring Street Reserve where Sandringham overwhelmed Chelsea winning 5-0.

“Sandringham are a good team probably the best we’ve played,” Chelsea gaffer Carlo Melino said.

“They’re strong, well-structured and play really good football.”

In NPL2 Langwarrin had mixed fortunes after an excellent 2-1 away with over Kingston City early last week.

On Saturday at Lawton Park Langy lost 2-1 to 10-man Northcote who had Josh Knight shown a straight red in the first half.

Brad Blumenthal put Langy ahead in the 57th minute but a Sam Warde double – from a superb free-kick in the 77th minute and a gift from Langy’s Tristan Meaker in the 80th minute – gave the undermanned visitors a come-from-behind win.

In State 1 the top-of-the-table clash between Mornington and Malvern City at Dallas Brooks Park ended in a scoreless draw.

The result left Mornington second on the ladder equal on points with leader Eltham.

Mornington’s next three fixtures are away to FC Melbourne SRBIJA, away to South Springvale and at home against Casey Comets – a run of matches that could prove seasondefining.

In State 2 Peninsula Strikers drew 2-2 at home to Brandon Park, Skye United drew 2-2 away to Berwick City while Pines were hammered 5-0 at home by Knox City.

Strikers led after 12 minutes through a pinpoint Wayne Gordon cross that Huss Chehimi headed home.

Six minutes later Brandon Park equalised after a nice interchange saw the ball laid off for a tidy finish from Rasmus Juul.

The second half developed into an arm wrestle and in the 86th minute the visitors were reduced to 10 men when Stephen Tonios was sent off for a second yellow after an exchange with An-

Sudoku and crossword solutions

drew Goff.

Strikers pushed to steal a winner but Calvin Delaney gave the ball away and Tommy Stanisavljevic made it 2-1 in the 92nd minute for what looked a likely decider.

But two minutes later Riley Anderton made a superb run in between the central defenders and onto Mo Chehimi’s flick to cooly slot home an equaliser.

Skye notched its fifth draw of the season at Berwick on Saturday.

The home side led at the interval but Jason Nowakowski levelled a minute into the second half with a header from a Nham Than cross.

Skye substitute Mitch Blake put the visitors ahead momentarily in the 83rd minute when he bundled the ball over the line but a minute later Angelo Rovegno Agama grabbed a point for Berwick.

At Monterey Reserve former Langwarrin player Ray Markley had a day out at Pines’ expense with a hat-trick.

Pines were poor up front, poor in midfield and shaky at the back where keeper Colby Jones looked uncertain at times.

Things won’t get any easier for the local side when it squares up to Brandon Park on Saturday but Joey O’Connor and Anish Khem should be back from injury.

Pines head coach Kevin “Squizzy” Taylor is hopeful that an international

Baxter boost: Aaran Currie in action for Baxter against Keysborough last weekend.

Baxter won 2-1.

Picture: Darryl Kennedy

transfer certificate can be arranged for a Fijian player while star striker Dylan Waugh may be available next month after being absent through work commitments.

The big news in State 5 was the abandonment of the Barton v Mount Eliza match on Saturday.

Jordan Vacouftsis of Mount Eliza was taken to hospital after an off-theball incident that sparked an all-in brawl and Vacouftsis remained in hospital as we went to press.

There is video of the incident and it’s understood that Football Victoria and Victoria Police are investigating while some State 5 clubs are already considering boycotting Barton games.

In other State 5 news Aspendale got back to winning ways on Saturday with a 3-0 home win over Mount Martha.

A marauding first-half run from Dom Paul on the left enabled him to cut the ball back into the path of Kieran Hughes for the opener.

In the 63rd minute Paul was brought down inside the area and Hughes converted from the spot and the returning Jared Kilmartin completed the scoreline eight minutes later with a looping shot into the top corner.

Mentone won a hard-fought away match 2-1 against Casey Panthers last weekend.

A rash challenge by Kogulan Sabaratnam in the 8th minute allowed

Casey to take the lead from the penalty spot.

Mentone levelled in the 58th minute when Dylan Taylor followed up on Marcus Spivey's saved penalty. Spivey made amends with the winner in the 79th minute controlling a freekick from Tyler Pollard and drilling the ball home.

Seaford United made the trip to Heatherbrae Reserve worthwhile on Saturday when it beat Bunyip District 3-2.

Harry McCartney reports that Seaford took the lead in the 8th minute when a poor clearance from Bunyip was struck sweetly first time by Aaron Vega and cannoned into the top left corner.

Vega’s brother Josh made it 2-0 in the 20th minute but a controversial penalty in the 38th minute gave the home side hope.

Cory Osorio restored Seaford’s twogoal cushion in the 55th minute when he was on the end of a slick interchange movement for an easy tap-in. The home side linesman played a pivotal role in a second penalty awarded in the 83rd minute and although this too was converted Seaford ran out a deserved winner.

NEXT WEEK’S GAMES

Friday 2 June, 8.30pm:

Chelsea v White Star Dandenong, Edithvale Recreation Reserve

Saturday 3 June, 3pm:

Langwarrin v Bulleen, Lawton Park

Peninsula Strikers v Hampton East Brighton, Centenary Park

Frankston Pines v Brandon Park, Monterey Reserve

Knox City v Skye Utd, Egan Lee Reserve

Somerville Eagles v Sandringham, Tyabb Central Reserve

Mount Eliza v Rosebud, Emil Madsen Reserve

Aspendale v Bunyip District, Jack Grut Reserve

Hampton Park Utd v Mentone, KM Reedy Reserve

Casey Panthers v Mount Martha, Prospect Hill Reserve

Saturday 3 June, 5pm: Springvale City v Baxter, Ross Reserve

Saturday 3 June, 6.15pm: FC Melbourne SRBIJA v Mornington, Kevin Bartlett Reserve Seaford Utd BYE