Issue 72 by debbie stoller

MAD MEN’S ALISON BRIE | ANTHONY BOURDAIN | DUM DUM GIRLS | CARRIE FISHER DEC/JAN 2012

INSTANTLY AWESOME RETRO “I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE HYDRANGEAS”

HAIR

Badass Babes 2 BROKE GIRLS’

KAT

DENNINGS Miss Piggy hams it up

FREE

ILLUSTRATED

2012

CALENDAR INSIDE!

WWW.BUST.COM

ways to cozy up and party down DEC/JAN 2012 - VOLUME 72

ROSEANNE BARR

solves your problems

+ 41 gifts your friends will love Cover_Kat_final.indd 1

DISPLAY UNTIL JAN 23, 2012

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FEATURES [DEC/JAN ’12]

Contents

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: AMANDA MARSALIS; SKEDOUCHE.COM; SHERYL NIELDS; GABI PORTER

48 42 GIFT GUIDE Our editors tracked down the season’s best budget-friendly buys so you don’t have to! (You’re welcome.)

48 THE KAT’S MEOW California dreamin’ with Kat Dennings, the break-out star of 2 Broke Girls. By Lisa Butterworth

54 RAISING THE BAR The next time your barkeep asks, “What’ll it be?” answer with authority! By Kayleigh Kulp

60 PRETTY IN PIG The Muppets star Miss Piggy weighs in on life as the world’s most glamorous puppet. By Catie Lazarus

62 DUM STRUCK Daringly dark fashions modeled by the incomparable Dum Dum Girls. Photographed by Amanda Marsalis, styling by Djuna Bel

68 THE BUST 2012 CALENDAR Tear-out wall art to keep you company all year long. Illustrated by Saejean Oh

ON THE COVER: KAT DENNINGS SHOT BY SHERYL NIELDS. STYLING: KARLA WELCH AT THE WALL GROUP; HAIR: MARA ROSZAK AT STARWORKS; MAKEUP: LAUREN ANDERSON AT THE WALL GROUP. SWEATER: BALENCIAGA; COLLAR: LOUIS VUITTON.

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CONTENTS

REGULARS 6 EDITOR’S LETTER 8 DEAR BUST 11 BROADCAST We love it when Mad Men’s Alison Brie is on TV; Miranda July delivers another sweet read; the Milk Truck nips trouble in the bud; and more. 12 She-bonics Rihanna, Viola Davis, Jane Fonda, and Kim Cattrall tell all. By Whitney Dwire 14 Pop Quiz Queen Latifah gets the royal treatment. By Emily Rems 16 Hot Dates A visit from the December and January events fairy. By Libby Zay 17 Boy du Jour Delicious dish with Anthony Bourdain. By Laurie Henzel

21 REAL LIFE A 3D holiday card for your nearest and dearest; a florist reveals her secrets for badass bouquets; The BUST DIY Guide to Life has arrived!; and more. 22 Old School Nana’s original fettuccine Alfredo. By Tricia Rosetty 25 Buy or DIY Whether homemade or artisanal, candy is mad seasonal. By Lisa Butterworth and Callie Watts 31 LOOKS Fashion blogger Lydia Okello makes it work; designer Alexandra Grecco delivers the flirty and femme; bump up your look with a hair fall; and more. 36 BUST Test Kitchen. Our interns gussy up with toner, mascara, and natural nail polish remover. 38 Good Stuff Light up your holiday nights with flashy fash. By Stephanie J

COLUMNS 13 Museum of Femoribilia Did black bras exist in 1938? By Lynn Peril 15 Pop Tart Rock star requiems revisited. By Wendy McClure 20 News From a Broad Soon it will cost nil to get the pill. By Kara Buller 28 Eat Me Get your meat on Eastern European style. By Chef Rossi 30 What Would Roseanne Barr Do? Life advice from TV’s most outspoken mom. By Roseanne Barr 40 Around the World in 80 Girls Cork City, Ireland, is a wonderland! By Aoife Barry 95 X Games Musical Interlude. By Deb Amlen

THE BUST GUIDE 71 Music Reviews; plus, a new album from Florence and the Machine. 75 Books Reviews; plus, real talk with Carrie Fisher. 81 Movies In the Land of Blood and Honey, Melancholia will make you a Pariah. 74 Party Pics Scenes from this year’s Maker Faire! 88 BUSTshop 96 The Last Laugh Tammy Pierce gets a lesson in the cost of kissing. By Esther Pearl Watson

FROM TOP: RAMONA ROSALES; ELLEN GREENE; IZA SZCZUTKOWSKA

83 SEX FILES Three popular ﬂicks go triple-X; and more. 84 Questions for the Queen Dr. Carol Queen helps a gal get out of her nub-rubbing rut. 86 One-Handed Read Feel the Vibrations. By Leora Stark

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EDITOR’S LETTER

DEC/JAN 2012 – VOLUME 72

happy, happy, joy, joy IT’S THE HOLIDAY season, and that can mean only one thing: women’s magazines are going to be filled with stories like “Celebrity Secrets to a Stress-Free Xmas” and “Beat Holiday Stress in 541 Easy Steps.” I can’t say I’ve seen men’s magazines cover the same, tired territory, which leads me to the following questions: 1) why are the holidays, which are supposed to be sweet and celebratory, seen as yet another thing to freak out over, like some kind of STD? and 2) why are they something that we ladies are supposed to be responsible for? Well, I say refuse on both counts. Making it through December and January is nothing to panic about (save that for February and March, when the gray and the cold have gone on for so long, you’re about ready to kick Mother Nature in the balls), and having a vadge doesn’t mean you’ve volunteered for the role of happy holiday fairy. Here are some ways this issue can help you put this plan into action. Not My Job. If everyone is counting on you to transform your dysfunctional family and Hoardersinspired home into a Waltons winter wonderland, tell them to go Festivus themselves. If you choose to partake in any festivity-related activities, only do the fun ones. Hate hanging Christmas lights? Try creating floral arrangements instead (page 23). And if making your own holiday cards sounds like a great way to spend an afternoon, then get your craft on (page 21), but in case the thought gives you hives, send store-bought ones, a group email, or just screw the cards. It’s the holidays, people. You’re supposed to be celebrating, not suffering. Eat, Drink, and Be Merry. Remember back in the spring, when women’s magazines were urging you to “slim down” because “bikini season” was just around the corner? Now that it’s sweater season, why aren’t they encouraging you to bulk up? Well, I’m here to do just that. Snack, nibble, and sip your way through the coming months. If your friend’s having a cocktail party featuring delicious finger foods and delectable sweets, eat them, for Maude’s sake! She didn’t slave over a hot microwave for hours so you could back away from the crackers like they were kryptonite. Devour some hors d’oeuvres, chow down on cheese, and polish off the pastries. To thank her, bring along some of your own homemade candy (page 25). This much free yumminess won’t be coming your way again for a whole year, so enjoy it while it’s here. Occupy Mall Street. Don’t waste your weekend fighting the harried hordes and getting so overwhelmed that you end up buying a lame black-light poster from Spencer’s Gifts for your BFF. Instead, invite your friends over for a whiskey tasting (page 54), followed by a dinner of rib-sticking, slow-roasted beef (page 28), or, if you don’t do meat, Nana’s original fettuccine Alfredo (page 22). After they’ve gone home, just hop on your computer and use our Gift Guide (page 42) to order prezzies for everyone else (although, depending on how well your whiskey tasting went, maybe save it for the next morning so you don’t end up buying old Uncle Joe a Jem and the Holograms box set). Don’t think you have the ovaries to follow through on this plan? Then ask yourself, “What Would Roseanne Barr Do?” Or just go ahead and ask her—Ms. Barr is our brand-new advice columnist (we’re thrilled to bits!). Another lady you can be sure knows how to live it up, no matter the season, is Miss Piggy, and we were as happy as a pig in a poke to sit her down for an interview. Finally, it’s always fun to see a smart, sassy, sarcastic female character on TV—especially since pop culture is so crowded with vapid, interchangeable roles for women—but it’s even better to see her achieve mass success. In our Fall Preview a few issues back, we told you which upcoming TV shows we thought would be worth your time. Our top picks? New Girl, Up All Night, Pan Am, and 2 Broke Girls. Not only does it turn out that we were right about all of them (so far), but 2 Broke Girls is also, as of this writing, the highest-rated new show of the season, due mostly to the comedic talents of its hot young star, Kat Dennings. In our profile, she reveals herself to be smart, funny, charming, and that rarest of rare in Hollywood: a woman who has no qualms about calling herself a feminist. Oh—one more thing. It’s been a tough time for the magazine industry, and we are so grateful that, because of the support of our readers (and especially our subscribers), we’ve been able to make it through another year. To thank you all, we’ve created a cute 2012 calendar you can cut out and keep. Hope you like it! xoxoxo

%FCCJF

FOR WOMEN WITH SOMETHING TO GET OFF THEIR CHESTS

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Debbie Stoller CREATIVE DIRECTOR Laurie Henzel MANAGING EDITOR Emily Rems SENIOR EDITOR Lisa Butterworth SENIOR DESIGNER Lan Truong CUSTOMER SERVICE + CRAFTY LADY Callie Watts BOOKS EDITOR Priya Jain ASSOCIATE MUSIC EDITOR Eliza Thompson CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Molly Simms, Kristina Uriegas-Reyes PUBLISHERS Laurie Henzel & Debbie Stoller DIRECTOR OF ADVERTISING + MARKETING Emily Andrews, 212.675.1707 x112, ads@bust.com SALES MANAGER: BUSTSHOP + MARKETPLACE Stephanie DiPisa, 917.442.8465, stephanied@bust.com EVENT + PROMOTIONS COORDINATOR Nikki Hung, 212.675.1707 x104, nikkihung@bust.com BOOKKEEPER Amy Moore, accounting@bust.com EDITORIAL INTERNS: Shannon Carlin, Candice Coote, Niesha Davis, Courtnay Glatter, Casey Krosser, Bridgette Miller WEB INTERNS: Olivia Saperstein, Sara Thobe MARKETING INTERN: Julisa Colón FOR SUBSCRIPTIONS Please email subscriptions@bust.com or call 866.220.6010 FOR BOOBTIQUE ORDERS Please email orders@bust.com WWW.BUST.COM ©2012 BUST, Inc. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the permission of the publisher. The articles and advertising appearing within this publication reﬂect the opinions and attitudes of their respective authors and not necessarily those of the publisher or editors. Canada Post: Publications Mail Agreement #40612608 Canada returns to be sent to Bleuchip International, P.O. Box 25542, London, ON N6C 6B2

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DEAR BUST READERS DISH ON THE OCT/NOV ’11 ISH I’ve only recently started reading your magazine, and I have to say, I love it! But nothing really quite compares to the Oct/Nov ’11 issue. Thank you so much for the story on the “mermaids” from Jeju Island (“The Last Mermaids”). That was an especially good read—it’s great to see some diversity! I also really enjoyed the article on Salem, MA (“Around the World in 80 Girls”), the article on urban homesteaders (“Dirty Girls”) and everything else in between. Dana Russo via email I consider myself a feminist and I recognize the importance of preserving our ailing planet. But I found some of the fem-environmentalists featured in the Earth Issue to be woefully misguided. I was charmed by the teal kitty tchotchke pictured with “Cat Overload,” but I was aghast when I read the article and realized the charity sponsored Trap-NeuterReturn (TNR) programs. Often TNR-supported feral cat colonies simply become a convenient dumping stop for more unwanted cats. More important, feral cats decimate wild bird populations. I was also disappointed to see Greenpeace being lauded (“Hit the Deck”). In the article the activists state that part of their mission is garnering media attention. The attention they receive, however, is so negative it does nothing more than alienate the average (voting) American. It would be great if BUST had another Earth Issue. It would be even better if it featured actual fem-environmentalists. Amanda Laughlin, St. Louis, MO

FEELIN’ THE LOVE

BUST A MOVE!

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BUST MAGAZINE IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR YOUR IPAD! Download our FREE APP from the iTunes store to get access to our current and past issues. VISIT WWW.BUST.COM/APP

When I was 16 I had my fill of Cosmo after they suggested I paint my nipples pink and shave my boyfriend’s initials in my pubes. My first BUST featured Jena Malone on the cover, and I haven’t missed an issue since. In that time I have seen lesbians, voluptuous ladies, women of color, transgendered people, artists, musicians, nerds, bombshells, you name it. I can’t help but take issue with the letters from readers complaining about lack of diversity (“Dear BUST,” Aug/Sept ’11). I can’t open a Cosmo and find a girl that is even a size four, let alone lesbian, black, transgendered, or even goofy-looking for that matter. I realize that we should always be stretching ourselves toward a more accurate representation of women, but we should be thankful for a magazine that has already done so much. Laney Von Grimm, Portland, OR I’m writing this love note after reading the complaints in my current issue. I was disappointed to read all that negative feedback. While certainly readers are entitled to their opinion, I’m surprised that’s all I saw. I love you so much. You are the shining gem in my mailbox six times a year. I appreciate the wide breadth of coverage in BUST (DIY, social issues, fashion, health, travel, etc.) and it’s only getting better with each issue. Thank you for giving me, a well-rounded, educated feminist, something to read and enjoy. Toni Carnes, Olympia, WA.

Get it off your chest! Send feedback to: Letters, BUST Magazine, 18 West 27th Street, 9th Floor, New York, NY 10001. Email: letters@bust.com. Include your name, city, state, and email address. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

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CONTRIBUTORS

Roseanne Barr, our new advice columnist, is a force of nature. Whether taking the sitcom world by storm, challenging accepted social norms, or battling the wild pigs inhabiting her nut farm in Hawaii, she is not to be trifled with. Barr is an Emmy Award–winning actress and bestselling author. She started her career in stand-up comedy before landing her own television show, Roseanne. She recently shot a reality show about her life on the Big Island and is currently developing a new sitcom for NBC. She blogs regularly on her website, roseanneworld.com. Kayleigh Kulp, who wrote “Raising the Bar,” is a whiskey drinkin’, epicurious babe who also suffers from an extreme case of wanderlust. Luckily, her career as a freelance travel, lifestyle, and business journalist sustains all three conditions. She has worked for the Travel Channel, CNN, Fox Business Network, the Los Angeles Times, Miami Herald, San Antonio Express-News, the Daily Meal, Caribbean Travel and Life, AARP, and more. She’s currently writing a proposal for a book called Booze for Babes: the Ultimate Guide to Spirits for Smart and Sassy Women (think Joy of Cooking for today’s sophisticated, libation-loving ladies). Saejean Oh, who illustrated our 2012 cut-out wall calendar, is an artist living in Los Angeles. Her work is primarily in watercolor and pencil. She spends a lot of time thinking about color combinations and rainbows. When she’s not flying solo in her studio during the week, she collaborates with her artist community on publications, ’zines, and music. On summer weekends she surfs, in the winter she snowboards. Her pug Olive Oyl is the cutest sausage of a dog you’ll ever meet. Google “Saejean” and you can follow her on Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook. See more of her work at saejean.com. Gabi Porter, who shot “Raising the Bar,” is a nightlife and documentary photographer who never lived somewhere long enough to be from anywhere before she moved to New York in the early ’90s. After stints as an environmental scientist working in climate research for NASA, a nanny, and a music industry professional, she finally found her true calling when she picked up her first digital camera and started taking pictures chronicling her nights out on the town. She also enjoys a good cocktail, spending time with her little squirt of a dog, and packing up a duffel bag and traveling anywhere a cheap fare will take her.

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Broadcast uptown girl

STYLIST: ARIANNE TUNNEY AT TRACEYMATTINGLY.COM; HAIR: ROBERT RAMOS FOR ESTILO SALON/CELESTINEAGENCY.COM; MAKEUP: GARRET GERVAIS FOR DIOR BEAUTY AT OPUS BEAUTY

FROM MAD MEN TO COMMUNITY, ALISON BRIE LIGHTS UP THE MOST BELOVED SHOWS ON TV

ALISON BRIE DOES not ride horses. She didn’t spend summers in the Hamptons or have a live-in nanny. But spend some time watching her on TV, and you’d think she owned a pony at some point. “I can track that back to my first acting classes in college,” the 28-year-old actress admits. “We played this game about people’s first impressions of you, and that was the first thing somebody said: ‘She rides horses.’ Then I was doing this indie movie recently and they said, ‘We’re going to make horseback riding part of your character.’ It’s fabulous for a girl who grew up in the suburbs of Pasadena and Highland Park, California, in a duplex. I don’t know why people look at me and think I was raised wealthy, but I’m just going with it.” Brie is best known for her roles on NBC’s brilliant sitcom Community—as the prim, Ivy League–aspirational Annie Edison—and the stupendous Mad Men, in which she plays Trudy Campbell, the pampered »

PHOTOGRAPHED BY RAMONA ROSALES

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broadcast rich girl married to Pete, the smarmiest employee at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. But there’s nothing snooty about the real-life Brie, a former drama geek who chatted me up about girdles, growing up, and the importance of hardcore hip-hop. Brie made her stage debut at six, playing Toto in a community theater production of The Wizard of Oz (“My mom sewed my costume with kneepads and everything”), and was a theater nerd throughout college before making the leap to TV in 2006 on an episode of Hannah Montana. Talking about the unnerving process of auditioning, Brie says, “I usually listen to music to focus or just distract myself a bit. I prefer hardcore rap, because it makes me feel like a badass. Like, who doesn’t give a shit more than fucking gangsters? Pardon my French. So I just get in full gangster mode, like, ‘Yeah, I’m gonna big pimp it in here.’ I sound so nerdy saying that.” Now, as a regular Mad Men character, Brie endures what she calls a “physical challenge” to get suited up for her role. “The shape of women’s bodies was just different in the ’60s, so we wear all the undergarments that they wore,” she says. “All the

tight girdles, pointed bras, stockings, and heels of the period. Your hair is hard as a rock, with 1,000 pins in it. But it’s a beautiful challenge, because it so informs how the characters walk and sit. You almost couldn’t do a legit period show without that, because that was a reality that women were dealing with on a daily basis.” Brie’s more pressing challenge is filming two shows at once. “I’ve actually shot both Community and Mad Men in one day,” she says. “I’ll start over on Mad Men at 5 a.m., shoot until 1 p.m., then pop over to Community and finish the night there from 2 p.m. until midnight.” Despite this hectic routine, it doesn’t seem like Brie, who’s also starring in the upcoming films Save the Date and Five-Year Engagement, is burnt out. Maybe it’s because she shares some important personality traits with her most famous roles. “There’s a hard through-line that you could draw between Annie and Trudy—they’re very single-minded and driven and ambitious. So I can connect that to myself, but really solely having to do with my career,” she says. “If the rest of my life were as together, that would be a miracle.” [MOLLY SIMMS]

she-bonics OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Choose or Lose Fans of Miranda July’s latest film The Future will love her companion book, It Chooses You ($24, McSweeney’s Books). Punctuated with intimate photos by Brigitte Sire, the collection chronicles July’s struggle to finish her second script, the unusual people she met by replying to ads in the L.A. PennySaver, and the surprising way the classifieds worked their way into her art. Check it out at mcsweeneys.net.

[COMPILED BY WHITNEY DWIRE]

“I think honesty is the ultimate liberation in life. People want to shy away from the truth and keep sweeping it under the rug. But after a while, you pick up the rug and there’s just way too much dirt, so you might as well just be up front about it. If you just face it today, then tomorrow you can move on to something else.” Rihanna in Glamour “Of course I had trepidations [playing Aibileen Clark in The Help]. Why do I have to play the mammy? But what do you do as an actor if one of the most multifaceted and rich roles you’ve ever been given is a maid in 1962 Mississippi? Do you not take the role because you feel like in some ways it’s not a good message to send to Black people? No. The message is the quality of the work. That is a greater message.” Viola Davis in Essence “When I was researching myself [for my book], I wondered, Am I just a hollow person who gets filled up by whatever man I’m with? I’m fine with women. My problem is always with men—you know, pleasing a man, turning myself into a pretzel to be who the man I’m with wants me to be. I’m not saying that that’s gone away 100 percent, but maybe 90 percent, 95 percent even.” Jane Fonda in Harper’s Bazaar “I think the scrutiny of women is obscene. If you don’t do anything [cosmetically], you look like an old hag; and if you do, you’re a plastic surgeon ‘victim.’ Where can we go to age with dignity? People don’t let us, particularly in America. It’s so cruel. I’m not Barbie, I’m flesh and blood and it melts, you know—get used to it. I’m not going to turn myself into the Joker in Batman to get jobs.” Kim Cattrall in Psychologies

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MUSEUM OF FEMORIBILIA [BY LYNN PERIL]

a bra of a different color

HAIR: MATTHEW MONZON FOR EXCLUSIVE ARTISTS/HAIR RULES; MAKEUP: LISA AHARON; MODEL: GAELLE AT S MODELS

HOW UNDERGARMENTS WENT FROM DRAB TO FAB THERE’S A SCENE in a recent bestseller set in 1938, Rules of Civility by Amor Towles, wherein the heroine, a plucky secretary who climbs out of a law-ﬁrm typing pool to the top of Manhattan’s publishing world, catches a glimpse of another character’s black brassiere. Perhaps others skipped right over that detail, but, as curator of the “Museum of Femoribilia,” it got me wondering. Did black bras exist in 1938? After all, modern cup-sizing was only introduced to the marketplace right around the same time. Was great-grandma sporting this staple of today’s woman’s lingerie drawer? As historian Jill Fields points out in An Intimate Affair: Women, Lingerie, and Sexuality (2007), Western women’s undergarments were traditionally made of white or unbleached fabrics, hence the terms “white goods” and “white sale.” Black had a longstanding association with death, even more so by the mid-19th-century when the Civil War’s extensive casualty lists meant that nearly every white woman was mourning a father, husband, son, brother, or sweetheart. Rules were rigid; a widow following the guidelines for formal mourning was supposed to wear black for a period of two-anda-half years. Black ribbon replaced the pastel one laced through her corset cover, and she might wear a black petticoat over her regular white »

PHOTOGRAPHED BY GLYNIS SELINA ARBAN

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broadcast Two decades after Mrs. Pritchard declared it an “affectation…chiefly noticeable among Americans,” trade publication Corsets & Lingerie definitively stated that the vogue for black lingerie was “entirely a French innovation,” one that American women would be “most unlikely to adopt” due to their “innate daintiness.” The latter prediction was unlikely even in its day; the very same year, 1921, a Bloomingdales ad in The New York Times swooned over a “fascinating French actress” who had “taken up the black vogue with a vengeance.” And a mere five years later, the paper reported, “Black lingerie, which was at first rather startling, is now quite conventional and very popular.” That popularity continued to grow over time. Moviegoers in the late 1920s and early 1930s became accustomed to seeing stars like Jean Harlow and Joan Crawford cavorting onscreen in slinky black lingerie—but this was a luxury that regular women could afford as well. “For years,

1. Born on March 18, 1970, in East Orange, NJ, Latifah’s given name is ___ . a. Onika Tanya Maraj b. Kimberly Denise Jones c. Lolita Shanté Gooden d. Dana Elaine Owens

6. Between 1995 and 1996, Latifah was carjacked, her friend was shot, and she was arrested for ___ . a. assaulting a photographer b. carrying a loaded pistol c. marijuana possession d. all of the above

2. Both Latifah’s father and older brother had careers in what profession? a. law enforcement b. ﬁre ﬁghting c. sanitation d. construction

7. Though nominated for all of the awards below, which two did Latifah actually win? a. a Golden Globe and an Oscar b. a Grammy and an Emmy c. a Golden Globe and a Grammy d. an Oscar and an Emmy

3. Before breaking through as a hip-hop star, Latifah worked in what fast food restaurant? a. McDonald’s b. Arthur Treacher’s c. Burger King d. Wendy’s

POP QUIZ HURRAH FOR QUEEN LATIFAH! [BY EMILY REMS] AN ACCLAIMED SINGER, rapper, and actress with a megawatt smile and attitude to spare, Queen Latifah took her pioneering role as a woman making waves at the dawn of hip-hop and parlayed it into a genre-hopping A-list career. Think you know why we All Hail the Queen? Then take the quiz!

most women have had at least one black slip in their wardrobe and have found it to be practically indispensable,” revealed a Maidenform company report in 1937. “Apparently many women are now having the same idea…about black brassieres.” (Aha! So a stylish Manhattanite of 1938 may well have worn a black bra.) Maidenform’s company report focused on the practical aspects of black slips and bras (“one of each” made “an excellent standby” under increasingly popular “black outer apparel”), but that’s not what caused sales to spike during the Second World War. The servicemen who bought black lingerie for their wives and girlfriends back home did so, reported Collier’s magazine in 1944, because they found it “feminine, alluring, and more than a little bit wicked.” Both concepts remain alive today: black bras are practical (less jarring under a dark blouse if it is at all sheer) and sexy (no further comment needed). And generations of women agree.

8. Latifah was originally cast to play Halle Berry’s role in the 2001 ﬁlm Monster’s Ball but had to quit because of production delays. Who was going to be her co-star? a. Robert De Niro b. Sean Penn c. Billy Bob Thornton d. Al Pacino

4. Latifah got her start in show business at 18 beatboxing for what rap group? a. Ladies Fresh b. ESG c. Rock Steady Crew d. Sisters in the Name of Rap

9. In what year did Latifah become the ﬁrst hip-hop artist to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? a. 1990 b. 1996 c. 2000 d. 2006

5. The same year, Latifah made her solo debut by releasing what single? a. “Ladies First” b. “Wrath of my Madness” c. “Evil That Men Do” d. “Queen of Royal Badness”

10. Complete the following Latifah quote: “I am not one to turn down ___ , even late at night.” a. sex b. macaroni and cheese c. a gig d. a game of Scrabble

PHOTO: PHOTOFEST

one, the better not to spoil the effect if a sudden gust of wind afforded onlookers a peek. A quarter-century or so later, mourning etiquette had loosened up considerably. Mourning periods were shorter, and behavioral restrictions less onerous. “Today, frills abound quite as much on the dressy mourning-gown as on any other style of dress,” noted Woman’s Home Companion in 1898. According to Fields, the very idea of a “dressy” low-cut black evening dress back then “particularly confounded the notion that women in black were secluded in chaste sorrow.” But at the same time, black gowns and black garments to wear under them were becoming chic— and a bit erotic. “Dare I whisper also of a strong fancy…for black undergarments?” asked English fashion writer Mrs. Eric Pritchard in 1902. “I fancy I hear exclamations of ‘What a horrid idea.’” She concluded, however, that black silk trimmed with white lace was “curiously effective.”

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POP TART [BY WENDY MCCLURE]

have you heard? WHAT HAPPENS ON EARTH WHEN POP STARS GO TO HEAVEN WHEN ELVIS DIED I was six, shopping at the North Riverside Park Mall with my mom. A man came up to us outside JR’s Music Shop and told us the news. My mother shook her head sympathetically, while I wondered if the King’s passing meant I’d no longer see those commer-

cliché to refer to a star’s death as “the day the music died,” but everybody knows that the music is the one thing that doesn’t die. What really dies, just for a moment, is the ability to take things for granted—not just to expect a new Elliott Smith album, but that Michael Jackson

Does death become less of an event the more it becomes a trending topic? cials for his greatest hits albums on TV. Musician deaths might be the most poignant kind of celebrity demise. Whether the ﬁrst music-related death you remember was Janis Joplin or Ian Curtis or Aaliyah, chances are you’d grown up learning that the music scene is like a NASCAR race full of spectacular accidents waiting to happen. But there’s also something palpably time-stopping about the death of a person whose music is woven into the background of your life. It’s long been a

ILLUSTRATED BY KIM SCAFURO

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would make his big comeback, or that the Ramones would always be around. Naturally, we take our own lives for granted too, and maybe that’s why this stuff causes enough of an existential blip for us to forever remember where we are when we ﬁrst hear the news. For John Lennon, I was in third grade, walking home from school, and for Kurt Cobain, I answered the phone in my apartment in Iowa City to hear about it from a friend. One night outside Chicago, I was in slowmoving trafﬁc on the expressway listening

to the radio when I heard about the lead singer of INXS, and I contemplated who I was when I was 12—and still imagined I could sleep with the guy one day—and who I was now, in my 30s, in my car inching along in the dark. Pop idol deaths give your inner teen a grim but thoughtful introduction to your own present self. Or at least it used to be that way. It’s weird to remember that Elvis moment now, because it hearkens back to a time when it wasn’t unusual to hear news like that from a complete stranger in person, in a public place. These days, of course, you can ﬁnd out these things from the Facebook post of the complete stranger who’d friended you for some reason. This summer my boyfriend and I were in line at a movie theater when he mentioned that Amy Winehouse had died. “You probably saw it online, right?” he asked. I hadn’t, though, and it occurred to me that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard news like that ofﬂine. Does death become less of an event the more it becomes a trending topic? I can’t help but think so. That night I went online and read the Twitter and Facebook posts people wrote reacting to Winehouse’s death, which were intermingled with other posts arguing about whether anyone should be grieving over Winehouse when there were other tragedies happening in the world. We’re not alone with our thoughts anymore— if these moments make us remember where we are, we’re only reminded that on the Internet, we’re in the middle of this endless din of snark, vitriol, and cat pictures. Which is to say, we’re nowhere. I couldn’t bring myself to click on any of Winehouse’s videos on YouTube. It didn’t even seem right to listen to her songs until one night, about a week later, when one of the local college stations played “You Know I’m No Good” while I was driving home. The station’s frequency was weak, and I was almost out of range, so I turned the car around and drove back the way I came for as long as the song lasted. I listened through waves of static as I headed in the wrong direction, and it seemed like the best way, the only way, to hear that she was gone.

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broadcast

hot dates

THINGS TO SEE, PEOPLE TO DO

December 10 - 11 BUST MAGAZINE CRAFTACULAR & FOOD FAIR HOLIDAY 2011 Put the DIY in your holidays with a trip to the coolest shopping event of the season—the annual BUST Magazine Craftacular & Food Fair Holiday 2011! This two-day extravaganza will feature gorgeous handmade wares from over 200 indie vendors, as well as DJs, delicious food, and more. It all goes down at 82 Mercer Street in the heart of SoHo, N.Y.C., so click over to bust.com for details, and prepare to be wowed!

GIRL DEVELOP IT! HELPS WOMEN LEARN HOW TO CODE IF YOU’VE EVER taken a computer programming class, you probably know the feeling. There you are, one of only a few females in a sea of dudes. You have a question you want to ask, but you’re afraid it might be dumb. More than that, you know your classmates expect you to ask dumb questions— because you’re a girl. So you keep your mouth shut. That’s exactly what Sara Chipps and her friend Vanessa Hurst experienced when they were studying software development as college students. But the problem followed them after graduation into programming usergroups and Meetups. “We were so uncomfortable about asking dumb questions, and worrying about what that would make people think of women in programming, that we held ourselves to ridiculous standards,” explains Chipps, 30. “We started talking about what would make that easier.” That’s how the two came up with the idea of offering software development classes specifically for women. They called their project Girl Develop It!, inspired by Chipps’ programming blog, Girl Developer. “We put a class together in N.Y.C., just a one-off, to see if people would come,” Chipps says. They did—all 30 spots of that class sold out within 24 hours of it being announced, and a lengthy waiting list quickly formed. Girl Develop It!’s classes usually run for about four weeks and are exceedingly affordable at $80 per course. They offer four to five classes a month—from the rather unintimidating Intro to HTML and CSS to far geekier fare such as PHP/MySQL—and host regular Craft Nights where students can come and practice programming together. And now they’re expanding, with Girl Develop It! chapters starting up in Austin; Columbus; Philadelphia; Ottawa, Canada; and Syndey, Australia. The response from students has been positive, and some of their graduates have already been able to accept other roles at work as a result of their newfound skills. But it’s not only women who are benefiting— about 15 percent of the students are male. “We’re not exclusive,” Chipps explains. “If you’re OK with taking a class called ‘Girl Develop It!,’ you’re welcome.” Looking to get your code on? Visit girldevelopit.com for more information. [DEBBIE STOLLER]

Through December 31 “CHANEL: DESIGNS FOR THE MODERN WOMAN” From the seminal “little black dress” to the instantly recognizable scent of Chanel No. 5 perfume, the products pioneered by Coco Chanel indelibly shaped the landscape of 20th-century women’s fashion. The Mint Museum in Charlotte, NC, is celebrating this legacy with more than 50 designs from the House of Chanel that date from the 1920s to the present day. To learn more about this sartorial pioneer, visit mintmuseum.org. Through January 22 “KIKI SMITH: RITUALS” This exhibition at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, GA, will feature highlights from a recent acquisition of 56 prints by feminist artist Kiki Smith. Her politically charged work undermines traditional male erotic representations of women, exposing the inner biological systems of the female body as metaphors for hidden social issues. Get the lowdown at high.org. Through January “COMPACTS & CARRY-ALLS” A collection of 150 antique compacts are on display at the Women’s Museum of California in San Diego for this exhibition that charts the evolution of cosmetics from the 1920s through the 1950s. Visitors can trace the changing fashions and art movements of the time through these compacts, which were integral to the daily personal lives of women and were produced in a diverse array of materials, styles, shapes, decorations, and motifs. Find out how beauty items can go beyond skin deep at womensmuseumca.org. [COMPILED BY LIBBY ZAY]

ILLUSTRATION: LESLIE A. WOOD; PHOTOS: MINTMUSEUM.ORG; HIGH.ORG

get with the program

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11/2/11 6:24:57 PM

BOY DU JOUR

conﬁdentially speaking

PHOTO: COURTESY OF TRAVEL CHANNEL

GLOBE-TROTTING FOOD STAR ANTHONY BOURDAIN GIVES US A TASTE OF HIS PRIVATE LIFE I’VE BEEN TRYING to nab an interview with 55-year-old culinary writer, chef, pork lover, and general loudmouth Anthony Bourdain since he hit the big time in 2000 with his first book Kitchen Confidential. So when I heard he was filming an episode of his new Travel Channel show, The Layover (which premiered November 21 at 9 p.m.), on the same block as the BUST office in N.Y.C., I decided to bum rush the set with a copy of the magazine. Unbelievably, my street harassment worked. He came over to talk to me between takes, and two weeks later, I had him on the phone. Never one to keep his thoughts to himself, Bourdain is as famous for his lacerating opinions as he is for his palate—don’t even get him started on Paula Deen or vegans—so I didn’t know what to expect from our conversation. But as I launch into some questions about the differences between his Emmy-winning Travel Channel series No Reservations (which has featured him exploring global cuisines and cultures since 2005) and The Layover »

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11/2/11 6:25:18 PM

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breast friend THE MILK TRUCK SPEEDS TO THE RESCUE OF NURSING MOTHERS IN NEED PICTURE THIS: YOU’RE a new mom being hassled while trying to breast feed in public. So you pull out your cell phone and text a distress call, and within moments, a mobile nursing station comes rushing to your aid. Sound like an impossible fantasy? Well, in Pittsburgh, it’s been a reality for over a year thanks to 38-year-old conceptual artist Jill Miller. When the crew of Miller’s Milk Truck—a refurbished ice-cream truck tricked out with a giant fiberglass breast on top, complete with a flashing pink light for a nipple—hears about a mother in need, they speed to the rescue clad in milkmaid uniforms and unroll a red carpet leading to cushy chairs under a shady canopy. Inside, the truck boasts a cozy lounge with nursing/pumping supplies hung from milk pails. To Miller, a professor at Carnegie Mellon, this unique combo of public service and performance art is the ideal way to address the boobs who bother nursing women. “As a mother, professor, and professional artist,” says Miller, “it’s critical for me—and all women who choose to breastfeed—to be able to access and exercise the right I have in my state to feed my baby.” Miller created the truck as part of the 2011 Pittsburgh Biennial in conjunction with the Andy Warhol Museum. Now that her idea is up and running, she spends time between distress calls making scheduled Milk Truck stops to offer a private, comfortable (non-restroom) place for mothers to pump breast milk during the work day. But despite her altruistic intentions, she says she’s constantly surprised by the dozens of angry emails she gets about the “indecency” of public breastfeeding every time she makes a media appearance. “We think nobody cares,” she says, “but some people—predominantly women—are for some reason fully enraged by the thought of a woman feeding her baby in public.” Despite the negative backlash, the Milk Truck soldiers on. The project raised $15,577 in startup funds via Kickstarter.com, and Miller says women and women-owned businesses contributed the bulk of the funding. Mothers around the world pledged $10 each to get a bumper sticker, saying they really wanted the project to exist somewhere, even if they couldn’t reap the benefits themselves. Next up for the Milk Truck? Miller is taking the show on the road, calling out haters in other cities while giving nursing moms a break. Check out themilktruck.org for details. [KATY RANK LEV]

PHOTO: JILL MILLER

(which gives the inside scoop on where to eat when you have just a few hours in a city), Bourdain’s intelligent, funny, thoughtful demeanor has me charmed right away. “No Reservations is a lot more aspirational,” he explains. “It’s about me having a good time. And a lot of those experiences, whether they’re with families, in tribal situations, or at high-end restaurants, are things other people can’t do. So in the interim [between seasons of that show] we tried to do something fast, mean, and actually useful.” The restaurant world also has a reputation for being fast and mean, especially to female chefs trying to get ahead. So I ask Bourdain how he thinks women are faring in professional kitchens these days. “It’s changed enormously,” he says. “The notion that women aren’t physically up to the job is ridiculous. The notion that women can’t kick ass as well as a guy has been proven ridiculous as well. Nobody is standing in their way, but I think that though there are many great women chefs out there—like Gabrielle Hamilton, April Bloomﬁeld, Melissa Kelly, Ina Garten, and Michelle Bernstein—perhaps they’re not as known as the male chefs because they have less of a propensity to peacock around the dining room. Promoting yourself relentlessly—maybe there is some testosterone in there, I’m ashamed to say.” Of all the culinary women he says he admires, perhaps the one with the most direct impact on his cooking, at least at home in N.Y.C., is his wife of four years, Ottavia Busia Bourdain. Since she hails from Sardinia, I ask if she’s changed his way of eating, and his answer is surprising. “It’s often negative reinforcement,” he says. “I love cooking pasta and I thought, Well, I’m marrying an Italian, I’ll be cooking a lot of pasta at home. But she’s a brutal critic of anyone who aspires to cook Italian. And she’s also on a 100-percent protein diet. She doesn’t eat carbs because she’s doing MMA [Mixed Martial Arts] training. So, if I’m cooking at home, I’m searing and roasting a large hunk of meat.” The other gal with signiﬁcant pull in Bourdain’s life is his four-year-old daughter Ariane. And when we get to talking about his wishes for her future, his perspective couldn’t be more clear. “The best I can hope for is that I’m raising a young woman who has really high self esteem, doesn’t take any shit from boys, and will not take any shit from men,” he says emphatically. “So she’s in karate class already.” [LAURIE HENZEL]

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10/27/11 8:43:04 PM

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10/27/11 7:23:27 PM

broadcast NEWS FROM A BROAD [BY KARA BULLER]

an ounce of prevention now costs nothing U.S. GOV ORDERS UP FREE CONTRACEPTIVES THE U.S. DEPARTMENT of Health and Human Services announced that as part of its mandate to provide preventative care, initiated by Obama’s 2010 health care act, all private health insurance plans must contain full coverage for all FDA-approved birth-control methods. Full coverage means no co-pay, deductible, or any other attempt to get us ladies to share in the cost. The new DHHS policy also pro-

health care act—mandatory purchase or you pay a ﬁne—has rankled Republicans and a number of lawsuits now threaten the legislation. Another more immediate threat to full, free access to contraceptives comes if you work for a religious institution opposed to birth control. The law contains a religious exemption, giving faith-based entities the option to opt out—and their employees the option to pull out.

All new healthcare plans established on August 1, 2012 and later must contain full coverage for all FDAapproved birth control methods. vides free HPV screening every three years, lactation support, and domestic violence screening. All new health care plans established on August 1, 2012 and later must comply with the new provisions. This policy does not affect the 19 million uninsured women in the U.S., but that number is likely to decrease because Obama’s health act makes obtaining health insurance mandatory. That paternalistic aspect of the

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CLOTHES UP SHOP Jordanian “Rape Factory” Finally Finds a Whistle-Blower According to a horrifying report from the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights, the mostly Sri Lankan and Bangladeshi women working at a Jordanian factory that manufactured items for American companies including Hanes and Wal-Mart, were rounded up weekly

and forced to have sex with managers at a nearby hotel. If the women refused, they were raped, beaten, and sent back to their home countries. The Wall Street Journal reports that since 2007, women have complained about two factory managers regularly committing sexual assault, however none of the victims had gone on record. Now one bold woman has made an ofﬁcial complaint, substantiating the rumors and leading to the arrest of one manager, who now faces a trial in Jordan. The factory was subject to periodic audits, as required by the American retailers contracting with the factory. But labor experts say that independent audits don’t work to ensure safe conditions—as this years-long pattern of sexual abuse certainly suggests. Kinda makes you rethink that 10pack of Hanes Her Way you just picked up at Wal-Mart, doesn’t it?

LACTOSE INTOLERANCE Class Dismissed for Schoolteacher After a Breast-Pump Dust-Up The ACLU has filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and threatened to sue on behalf of Colorado teacher Heather Burgbacher, whose contract was not renewed by her charter school following a dispute over breast pumping accommodations. Burgbacher had arranged for a colleague to watch her class for 20 minutes three times a week when she needed additional pumping time. Her human resources director then said this option was not suitable and suggested Burgbacher use the Thanksgiving break to reschedule her body or simply use formula—fightin’ words to any woman wanting to give her baby the best nature can offer. (Breastfeeding mothers must express milk regularly to keep the cycle going.) The Wall Street Journal reports that lawsuits from nursing mothers are steadily rising as states adopt their own laws that often go above and beyond the federal requirement— breast-pumping break-time during the first year after a child’s birth—and as employers continue to break these laws. The most surprising aspect of the story, if you read the full EEOC claim, is that Burgbacher’s chief antagonist is another woman. Not cool, boss lady, not cool.

ILLUSTRATED BY JEN HILL

10/27/11 9:21:23 PM

Real Life poppin’ off WOW YOUR PALS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON WITH A HANDMADE 3D GREETING

PROP STYLIST: MAYA ROSSI

WANT TO SEND your friends and family some warm winter wishes? Skip the cheesy store-bought selections and craft up your own cards instead. This 3D paper project is fun and inexpensive to make, plus it gives your seasonal sentiments an extra pop that’ll impress everyone from your boo to your boss. »

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SARAH ANNE WARD

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real life MATERIALS UÊ 5 sheets of 8½" x 11" cardstock (we used blue, grey, and gold cardstock with a metallic ﬁnish); makes 2 complete cards and envelopes UÊ X-Acto knife UÊ White glue UÊ Folding bone or paperclip UÊ Metal ruler UÊ Templates 1, 2, 3, and 4 (available at bust.com/downloads)

1. Decide which color cardstock you want each of the card’s elements to be—base card, front “Let it Snow” piece/layer 1 of inside snowflake, back snowflake/layer 2 of inside snowflake, envelope—then print templates 1, 2, and 3 on cardstock. Print two copies of template 4 (the envelope) on cardstock. 2. Use the X-Acto knife to cut your printout of template 1 along the solid line, creating two main cards. Set one aside. On the remaining card, use the dots as guides and the metal ruler as a straightedge to score along the card’s center with a folding bone. (If you don’t have a folding bone, unbend a paper clip and use the end of it to score the line. Apply enough pressure to leave a mark, but

be careful not to press too hard or you’ll tear the cardstock.) After scoring, fold the card in half on the score line. Then cut the two small solid lines that are on either side of crease. Set card aside. 3. Now it’s time to make the pop-out snowflake, which is actually two snowflakes glued together. Cut out one snowflake from template 2 and one snowflake from template 3 on the solid lines. Score along the dotted line of each using the folding bone/paperclip and metal ruler. Instead of folding the snowflakes so that the score-lines are on the outside of the creases, fold them so that the score-lines are inside the creases, so that the dotted lines won’t be visible when you complete your card. You’ll notice that there are two tabs on opposite ends of the larger snowflake, making it wider than it is tall. These two tabs will be used to attach the snowflake to the card. Place the larger snowflake on top of the smaller snowflake, so that the folds match up; the spokes should not overlap. Glue the snowflakes together at the center. 4. Lay your main card open so that you can see the “happy holidays” text. Take the attached snowflakes so that the inside of the crease faces the card, and slide the

OLD SCHOOL

nana’s original fettuccine alfredo MY NANA WAS a woman who brought home the Italian sausage and fried it up, too. She grew up in an Italian neighborhood in Trenton, NJ, (speaking only her parents’ home-country language until she attended public school) and went to work sewing handbags in a factory at a young age. In the kitchen, she continued a family tradition of delicious cooking, whipping up impressive Christmas

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larger snowflake’s tabs through the two cuts on the card. Flip the card over and glue the tabs down. Don’t worry about being too neat; you’ll cover the tabs later. Flip the card back over so that the snowflake is facing you. Slowly fold the card in half, making sure that the snowflake folds along its centerfold. 5. Using the X-Acto knife, cut out one “Let it Snow” piece from template 2, and one circular snowflake (for the card’s back) from template 3 along the solid, outside lines. Center the “Let it Snow” piece on the front of the card and secure it with glue. Glue the circular snowflake to the back of the card so that it covers up the tab. 6. Cut out one template 4 envelope along the solid lines. Use the folding bone/paperclip and metal ruler to score the dotted lines; fold. To assemble, fold tabs 1 and 2 inward. Place some glue along the bottom outside of both tabs. Fold tab 3 up and press down to secure. Once you’ve slipped your card into the envelope, fold over the last tab and secure with glue or tape. 7. Repeat the process to create the second card. [LAN TRUONG]

dinners of pasta dishes. The way Nana tells it, her famous fettuccine Alfredo is the real deal: she convinced Alfredo himself—proprietor of Alfredo’s, a restaurant in Rome that’s served glamorous women like Sophia Loren and Elizabeth Taylor—to take her into his kitchen and share the secret. Nana was a woman who knew no stranger, so my guess is she convinced the chef to spill the noodles by showing him adorable pictures of her two young sons. Her version of the dish, which I suspect is a bit creamier than the original, will satisfy any appetite. And like many of the best Italian recipes, it’s simple: four ingredients and just one measurement to remember. In a large pot, cook 1 pound of fettuccine, per package instructions. If you want to be authentic, go with egg noodles; or try whole-grain fettuccine for a heartier (and healthier) dish. Drain the noodles and return the pot to the stovetop over medium heat. In it, melt 1 stick (8 Tbsp.) of butter then add 1 cup of heavy cream. Stir and add the noodles; carefully mix. Increase heat to high; when gently boiling, remove from heat and add 1 cup shredded Parmesan cheese. Toss to coat; serve to friends with red wine and a side of good conversation. [TRICIA ROSETTY]

Got an amazing family recipe? Send it, along with a photo of the recipe's originator, to molly@bust.com.

10/31/11 3:07:50 PM

f lower power HOW TO MAKE A KICKASS ARRANGEMENT COLD WEATHER AND gray skies got you down? Bring nature inside! Flowers are an easy way to boost your spirits and brighten your space, but don’t think you have to rely on a fancy ﬂorist for a good-lookin’ arrangement. With some fresh, seasonal blooms and a few insider tips, you can whip up a beautiful bundle of blossoms just like a professional petal pusher. FIND YOUR FLOWERS Floral districts and farmers’ markets are the best places to go for the freshest, seasonal blooms. Farmers’ markets also offer the greatest deals, and their ﬂowers have usually

PHOTOGRAPHED BY ALI SMITH

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been picked within 24 hours of arriving at the market. To create a three-element arrangement, like the one pictured above, you can expect to spend about $20 – $25 at a farmers’ market and $25 – $35 in a floral district. Scout for your flowers as early as possible for the greatest selection. If you live in a city without a floral district or farmers’ market, scout your local grocery stores for the best affordable floral selection. BASIC STRUCTURE A well-rounded arrangement has three elements: focal blooms—the stars of the show; foliage, for volume; and something that adds tex-

ture, like berries or vines. Once you arrive at the market, walk around to each vendor looking for the freshest flowers that catch your eye, and pick out the ones you want to be the arrangement’s main attraction. In winter, some of my favorites are poppies, hellebores, and camellias. Then choose the foliage that best complements those blooms—I usually pick leaves or branches that resemble the natural foliage of that particular flower. For the third element, choose berries or vines—like my favorite, the flowering jasmine vine—to add texture. PREP YOUR GOODS As soon as you get home, use floral clippers (or sharp scissors) to trim all the stems at an angle, keeping them as long as possible, and remove any leaves from the lower parts of the stem. Immediately put your flowers in cold water. »

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real life DECIDE ON A VASE Once you have your flowers ready, select a vase that matches the theme of how you want your arrangement to look. For loose, lush arrangements, choose a vessel that’s spherical or trumpet shaped. Spherical, round vases allow flowers to spread out while the opening of the vase supports the stems. Trumpet vases flare at the top, which gives the appearance of movement and allows interesting stems to be displayed. Traditional glass vases are great for some arrangements, but mason jars, tea tins, coffee cans, and apothecary bottles are also awesome. Wash the vase with a little bit of bleach to kill germs and wash away soap residue, then fill with water to about the ¾-mark.

CREATE YOUR ARRANGEMENT 1. Begin with the foliage (we used bush ivy) and arrange it to create a loose, flowing shape. Use enough to form a base, but leave room for the flowers so they won’t appear cramped. You can always go back and add more foliage later. 2. Then look carefully at your blooms (we used anemones), figuring out what their best features are—color, shape, texture, stem aesthetic, or whatever else you find most interesting about that particular flower—then decide how to fully emphasize those features. For example, ranunculus not only have beautiful flowers, but the stems also have elegant curvy lines that can look nice peeking out of your arrangement. Build on the shape you made with your foliage by adding flowers. 3. Next, take the vines (we used jasmine) or berries and add them throughout the arrangement for texture and highlights. This is a great way to create a natural, freeflowing feel.

MAINTAIN YOUR FLOWERS Be sure that there are no leaves or ﬂowers below the water line. This can cause the ﬂowers to age quickly and decay. To make your arrangement last longer, change the water every couple of days. [ARIEL DEARIE]

just our type Thanks to the work of a couple of keyed-in ladies, vintage typewriters are ﬁnding a fully functional place in the home, beyond being cool, retro items of décor. “These marvelous pieces of writing machinery were built to last,” Donna Brady says of the antique typewriters she spruces up and sells as one half of Brooklyn-based Brady & Kowalski Writing Machines. “They just need our love, time, and attention in order to get them going again and into the hands of a new owner.” In addition to repairing and refurbishing old typewriters, Brady and business partner Brandi Kowalski keep typewriter ribbon in stock at all times and host “type-out” events for those who eschew iPads for click-clacking and carriage-sliding. To ﬁnd out more go to brady-kowalski.com, and to get a shiny new-to-you typewriter of your own, check out bkwritingmachines.etsy.com. [BRIDGETTE MILLER]

page turner Wondering where you can learn how to ﬁnger-curl your hair, alter your clothes, make vegan chili, and start your own business all in one place? Well then, you’ll be pleased as punch with our brand new book: The BUST DIY Guide to Life ($29.95, Stewart, Tabori & Chang). With categories that cover home, health and beauty, food, fashion, and career and ﬁnance, it’s the ultimate tome for do-it-yourselfers. Put it on your wish list, stat.

Ariel Dearie (pictured on previous page) owns Ariel Dearie Flowers, a ﬂoral design studio in Brooklyn.

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11/1/11 6:39:26 PM

BUY OR DIY

i want candy THESE DIY TREATS WILL SATISFY ANY SWEET TOOTH

PROP STYLIST: MAYA ROSSI; FOOD STYLIST: LAUREN LAPENNA

’Tis the season for sugary delights, so break out the granulated goodness and tackle these easy-to-make candies. The rich, airy crunch of honeycomb toffee (named for its hole-y, honeycomb-like appearance) will satisfy chocolate lovers, while sweet, simple rock candy will appeal to those who like it hard (and the sticks make adorable gift-toppers). Throw on some tunes, tie on an apron, and transform yourself into a regular Wilhelmina Wonka. »

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SARAH ANNE WARD

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real life

BUY OR DIY 1

CHOCOLATE-COVERED HONEYCOMB CANDY

Line a 13" x 9" baking dish with foil, and grease the foil with butter (this stuff is sticky!). Combine 1½ cups sugar, 1/3 cup light corn syrup, 2 Tbsp. honey, and ¼ cup water in a highsided saucepan. Cook on medium-low heat without stirring until it boils. Meanwhile, sift 1½ Tbsp. baking soda into a small bowl (so you can easily add it to the mixture in one swift move). Using a candy thermometer, continue cooking until the sugar mixture reaches 285 degrees Fahrenheit. This will take 10 – 15 minutes; the mixture should be a medium amber color. Remove the saucepan from heat and work quickly, dumping the baking soda into the mixture and whisking to make sure it all gets incorporated. The mixture will bubble up like some Mr. Wizard experiment and it will be extremely hot so be careful not to touch it. Once the baking soda is completely mixed in (this should take a few seconds), pour the foamy toffee mixture into your baking pan and let it cool for at least an hour. Cut into pieces. (You’ll make a mess but the delicious crumbs can be saved for topping ice cream or cupcakes.) To coat your honeycomb candy, heat 1 package good-quality semi-sweet chocolate callets (similar to chocolate chips but better for melting/coating) in a double boiler over low heat. Stir with a rubber spatula until melted. Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper. Once the chocolate has melted, dip individual pieces of honeycomb, and place them on the baking sheet. Refrigerate until set.

ROCK CANDY Sterilize 2 – 3 ½-pint mason jars by placing them in boiling water for 10 minutes. Set aside and let dry. Start the rock candy by bringing 2 cups of water to a boil in a large saucepan. Add 6 cups of sugar a ½ cup at a time, letting it dissolve completely before adding the next batch. Once you’ve dissolved all of the sugar, remove from heat and let the solution cool for 15 minutes. While the sugar is cooling, prep your rock candy sticks (standard bamboo skewers can be found at most kitchen-supply stores; we got our cute balled skewers at pickonus.com). If you are using normal BBQ skewers, cut them in half to create the proper length. Soak 3 – 5 skewers in water then roll them in sugar to creating a coating. These will act as “seed” crystals, giving the new sugar crystals something to latch on to. Let the sticks dry completely (about 15 minutes), or the coating will simply come off when you proceed to the next step. Carefully pour the cooled sugar solution into your jars, ﬁlling each within a couple of inches from the top. If you want to make colored rock candy, do so by adding a couple of drops of your desired food coloring into each jar. Slowly insert 1 – 2 skewers into each jar, leaving enough room between them for sugar crystals to grow. Hold the skewers in place about an inch off the bottom of the jar by securing them with clothespins that are large enough to rest across the mouths of the jars. Cover the jars with paper towels and store at room temperature. Here comes the easy part: wait. In 5 – 7 days you will have beautiful, tasty rock candy. Science is sweet! [LISA BUTTERWORTH]

strangers with candy THESE HANDMADE TREATS ARE A GUARANTEED SUGAR HIGH [BY CALLIE WATTS] 1. SWEETEN THE LOAD Liddabit, a lady-run artisanal sweets company, makes gooey goodies to die for. Their Kitchen Sink gift pack includes four candy bars, three kinds of caramel, milk chocolate honeycomb candy, caramel corn, and two types of suckers ($68.75, liddabitsweets.com). 2. SUCK ON THIS These handmade guava-colada lollipops are glutenand dairy-free, so even your vegan friends can lick it ($20 for 12, thischarmingcandy.com). 3. A MILLI VANILLI Classic peanut brittle, almond toffee, and vanilla caramels are included in this mind-meltingly delicious Vanilla Lover’s Gift Set from Allison’s Gourmet. And all of her goods are vegan, organic, and fair trade—now that is the sweetest thing ($42, allisonsgourmet.com). 4. VERUCA SEA SALT As if the thought of vanilla bean caramel, toasted pecans, sea salt, and bittersweet chocolate wasn’t mind-blowing enough, these “burtles”—a variation on the classic turtle candy—are completely vegan ($5 for 2, obsessiveconfectiondisorder.com). 5. LET’S MAKE SWEET MUSIC These lollis are custom-made so you get to pick the color and ﬂavor from a list of over 50 mouthwatering options (we chose blackberry). ($12 for 12, vintageconfections.com). 6. IMMA GO HARD Keep it old school with this retro-inspired hard sweets collection, which includes six ﬂavors: Concord grape, wild strawberry, green apple, tangerine, blueberry, and golden pineapple ($40 for the set, $8 each; brooklynhardcandy.com).

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real life

EAT ME [BY CHEF ROSSI]

You can’t beat our slow-roasted meat

where’s the beef?

MAMA HARRIET’S HUNGARIAN GOULASH For this Eastern European stew, start with a couple of pounds of cubed beef. Season it well with salt, pepper, dried oregano, and paprika. Get a heavy-bottomed pot hot and drizzle in a little olive or vegetable oil, then brown your meat. In a

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separate pan, sauté 2 heaping handfuls of chopped onions, then throw them into the pot. When your meat and onions look nice and brown (almost burnt), pour in a 16 oz. can of tomato sauce, a coffee cup of water, a plop of minced garlic, a good pinch of celery salt, and 2 handfuls of sliced, peeled carrots. Reduce to a simmer and cover. Now cook for an eternity—at least 2 hours, 2½ is even better. Stir every half hour, and add a little water if it gets too thick. If you want to add potatoes, chop some up and throw in a couple of handfuls during the last half hour of cooking. Do as Mama Harriet did and spoon the goulash over boiled egg noodles.

SLOW-ROASTED BEEF Start with a roast. I like a top round myself, ’cause slow roasting something pricey like rib-eye or New York strip will get you arrested by the Wasting a Great Hunk

of Beef Society. Rub your meat all over in olive oil, kosher salt, and fresh cracked pepper. Refrigerate overnight. Then let it come to room temperature and get a big, heavy-bottomed pan good and hot. Brown your meat on all sides to sear in the ﬂavor and give you a nice crust. Then place in a baking pan in the oven at 250 degrees. Roast for 2 to 3 hours and use a meat thermometer to determine when it’s done. If you like your roast rare, pull the meat out when the thermometer registers 120 degrees; for medium-rare, pull out at 130 degrees; for well done, pull out at 140 degrees. Cover in foil and let rest for 20 – 30 minutes before carving. Then cut across the grain as thin as you can and serve with your favorite mustards, or mix two plops of horseradish with a coffee cup of sour cream or crème fraîche. I like to drizzle in a touch of Worcestershire, too.

PROP STYLIST: MAYA ROSSI; FOOD STYLIST: LAUREN LAPENNA

SATISFY YOUR CARNIVOROUS CRAVINGS WITH THESE HEARTY WINTER MEALS GROWING UP, MY larger-than-life Yiddish mama loved to cook meat by way of the three S’s: stewing, simmering, or slow roasting. Mom had a simple test for knowing when any of her old-home dishes were done: if you had to chew the meat, it went back on the stove for another hour; if it disintegrated in your mouth, it was ready to be devoured. Back in those days we didn’t know anything about free-range or organic beef, but to make these recipes, go the humanely raised route if you can. It’ll cost more, but it’s worth the money.

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SARAH ANNE WARD

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real life

OUR FAVORITE FIERCE, FUNNY FEMINIST ADDRESSES ALL THAT AILS YOU Dear Roseanne, I recently found some part-time work as a typist. The only downside is that my boss is about 80, and he lives in some kind of old-timey bubble. When we met, he told me I was beautiful, “just like I sounded on the phone,” like some kind of creepy uncle. And occasionally the letters he has me type carry outdated sexist attitudes. I don’t know how to go about bringing it up (or if I even should). It is painful and frustrating to be unemployed, but it is also painful and frustrating to play by The Man’s rules. What would Roseanne do? Typing Tempest

Dear Roseanne, How can I find happiness? I’m a 30-year-old woman and I have had fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue for about seven years. I am fortunate in so many ways—I have a loving partner, fulfilling work, dogs, friends, and a place to live. But damn, I am so freaking sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have tried everything to shake this unwellness, but it still lingers. I’m real cranky and down a lot of the time. Any ideas? Fucked by Fatigue Dear Fucked, So, you’re “cranky and down a lot of the time”? You mean there’s another way to

feel? Just kidding, but I do have those times myself, because I am, after all… what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh, yeah—awake! Seriously, though, have you tried meditation? Yes, you can learn to meditate! It’s fun and relieves pain, too. Controlling one’s breathing is the ﬁrst step to controlling one’s mind. To put it into scientiﬁc terms: the mind thingy really affects the body thingy. Please, read up on meditation methods, give it a solid try, and then write back and tell me how you’re doing with it.

Dear Roseanne, Two years ago, I split from my partner of seven years, and I’ve been in replacement shopping mode since then. Two more breakups later and I’m burned out on the dating scene. My problem: I have never really been single, and I can’t help but feel like anything I try to do for myself is just a pathetic single-girl stand-in for a long-term relationship. I have great friends, an interesting job, and fun hobbies, so it’s not like I didn’t have a life outside of my partner(s). Do you have any advice on how to look at being single so it doesn’t seem so daunting? Single in Seattle Dear Single, You need to practice—being single, that is. Learn to enjoy your own company a little more. If you don’t like being with you right now, maybe no one else should either. Sounds like you have a lot that is good going on, but I detect a bit of disrespect in your attitude for the validity of the single life; maybe it’s this remark: “I can’t help but feel like anything I try to do for myself is just a pathetic single-girl stand-in for a long-term relationship.” I’m sure you know that lots of single women are anything but pathetic, and that lots of women are in relationships that aren’t what they’d like them to be. Leave people alone for a while, and think of some new and fun things to pursue. Relationships can be limiting, but being single while it makes sense to be is not. Get busy, and watch what happens! Got a problem? Roseanne will help you solve it. Email askroseanne@bust.com.

PHOTO: COURTESY OF FMHT STUDIOS

what would roseanne barr do?

Dear Tempest, Sartre said that hell is other people, and sometimes I think he was sugar-coating it. Speaking of bitter pills, it sounds like you don’t have a better option at this point, so that means that this pain-in-the-ass job is your best option. You’re going to have to practice the art of mental alchemy and view every crappy aspect of your situation as a patience and imagination builder. Believe me, I know from people who live in an “old-timey bubble”— I grew up in Mormon Utah. As I say in my act, every fall we’d set our watches back a decade. Maybe at a choice moment, here or there, you could test the waters and slide in a gentle hint or reminder that we’ve moved forward a bit from the dim past when this old dude’s crusty attitudes were formed. If it goes in, good! Or, if it rubs him the wrong way, maybe he’ll just ﬁgure you’ve got a bee in your bonnet or that you’re suffering “the curse” and it won’t go badly for you. Muster the best attitude you can, do your job, and keep your eye out for another way to get some cash ﬂow. Remember: every tick of the clock takes your “creepy uncle” that much closer to kicking the breathing habit.

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Looks Fashion Nat ion

Lydia Okello VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA FASHION MERCHANDISING STUDENT AND BLOGGER (STYLEISSTYLE.BLOGSPOT.COM) How would you describe your look? Half grandma, half Japanese schoolgirl. [laughs] If it weren’t for the colors I usually wear, my outfits would look like actual uniforms. I went to public school, not private school, so maybe it’s some sort of subliminal desire! Tell us about this outfit. The shirt is silk, and I got it at Value Village for $5. I like it because it looks 1970s, really tripped-out and psychedelic. I love thrifting; about 60 – 70 percent of my closet is from thrift stores. The dress is from Forever 21, it was $20; the socks are from American Eagle, they were probably $5; and the booties are from Etsy, they were $25. What’s your background, and does it influence your style at all? I’m first generation Canadian; my parents emigrated from Uganda via Norway. I didn’t realize it before, but recently I was starting to look at African textiles, and thought, “I think I know where my love of color comes from.” Probably because I was exposed to it when I was younger. Do you have any inspirations? I’m really into street style, and personal style bloggers. I spend a lot of time on the Internet and looking at people I see on the street, checking out the way they combine different items of clothing and make them look interesting even if those pieces are mass produced. Any style advice you’d like to share? For your average girl, sometimes there’s a fear of stepping outside the norm, because they are afraid of what people might think or say. Not being a small or skinny person, I think that, too, can scare people off from dressing the way that they want to. But don’t be afraid to have fun! [TRICIA ROYAL]

PHOTOGRAPHED BY MICHELLE FORD

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FASHIONISTA

Alexandra Grecco

Alexandra at work

all dressed up GET GIRLY IN ALEXANDRA GRECCO

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MAKEUP: DENA MICHNOVICH; LOOKBOOK PHOTOS: SHARYN FRENKEL

“I FEEL IT’S important to fill a wardrobe with high-quality, well-made pieces that not everyone is wearing,” says Brooklyn-based clothing designer Alexandra Grecco. It’s a view the 27-year-old FIT grad says she picked up from her grandmother, and it comes through in every sweet, subtle collection of her eponymous fashion line, which includes vintage-inspired rompers with scalloped sleeves, simple capes with giant bows on the collar, and delicate blouses with sheer necklines. Grecco’s hyper-feminine designs are also informed by her time as a ballet dancer, and often incorporate fun, offbeat details: precious pastel dresses have straps topped with plastic flora; a best seller is a prim frock with a massive heart-shaped cutout in the back. Besides beautifully feminine threads, Grecco is also a master of gorgeous hair accessories—fabric flower crowns, gauzy bow bobby pins—that she makes using her vintage millinery supply stash. And though her looks are ethereal, her inspiration is very down-to-earth: “I think about what I would want to wear—what I’m comfortable in—and I go from there,” she says. [ALISON BAITZ]

PORTRAIT BY BEK ANDERSEN

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HAIR HOPPER

legends of the fall

HAIR: MATTHEW MONZON FOR EXCLUSIVE ARTISTS/HAIR RULES; MAKEUP: LISA AHARON; MODEL: SAMANTHA AT TRUMP MODELS

HOW TO PICK AND WEAR THE RIGHT FAKE HAIR ROCKING A BEEHIVE, Winehouse-tribute bump, or a massive Beyond the Valley of the Dolls ’do takes more than gumption and the ability to maneuver through a low doorway: it takes hair, and lots of it. You may have seen celebs ﬂaunting their giant follicular assets and thought they were genetically blessed, but the key to achieving Dolly-esque heights is actually a fall—a chunky lock of fake hair sewn onto a little mesh cap, clip, or comb. And though they might seem like special-occasion-only accessories, give falls a chance and you’ll realize that a bit of clipped-in hair can jazz up your everyday look without much fuss. »

PHOTOGRAPHED BY GLYNIS SELINA ARBAN

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looks When picking out your hair piece, pay attention to color, style, and quality. Since the fall’s tint should match that of your own locks as much as possible, choosing one in person will ensure the closest resemblance, so a wig store, salon, or beauty-supply shop—with plenty of color options in stock—is the best place to go. Make sure to test the hair against your own in both fluorescent and natural light. Enlist a shopping buddy to help assess, since you’ll most likely be pinning the hair toward the upper back of your head, where the color’s very different from that of the strands around your face. A fall can be clipped in, bobby-pinned, or attached via a comb—just make sure it’s comfortable right off the bat. It shouldn’t pinch or move at all, and, ideally, will be unobtrusive enough that you forget you’re wearing it. Hair additions come in an infinite variety of lengths, but get one that’s a few inches shorter than your natural cut. You’re going for volume and lift, so you’ll be camouflaging it underneath your real hair, not sitting it on top like a pillbox hat. Try for a texture that’s as close to your natural hair as possible. This is where quality comes in, since the cheapest options will have an overly glossy “doll hair” look. You don’t have to spend

a month’s rent on your fall, though—you can get a small, quality piece starting around $50. It will last you for years, so think of it as an investment in foxiness. If you don’t live near a wig store, there are countless places to shop for faux locks online. HairUWear.com has some of the best-looking pieces and least hideous graphic design; WilshireWigs.com offers a returnable “color ring” of hair samples so you can get a close match. You may not be able to tell the difference between the good shit and the rank, plastic Barbie hair online, so make sure you buy from a site with a liberal return policy. Now, what to do with your fall? One always-killer style (for gals with at least shoulder-length hair) is an homage to the pumped-up ’60s hairdos of the Ronettes, which has been appropriated by countless famous faces today, like professional cute person Zooey Deschanel. You’re going to need a ﬂeet of bobby pins, hairspray, volumizing mousse, and, of course, your fall. Begin with damp locks and work some mousse into the top of your hair, really mushing it into the roots. Flip your head over and blow dry while you brush your hair forward, for maximum height. A round, blow-dryer brush (Conair makes a killer one) is especially good for

getting pageant-level volume, because you can wrap hair around the brush while you yank it away from the scalp. Once upright, lightly comb your hair down to minimize the Bride of Frankenstein look, then separate the top half from the bottom, leaving out some good-size chunks around your face so it looks less structured. Pull the top hair forward and clip it for the time being. Fold/pin your fall into a little circle and place it right at the top of your head, then pin that sucker down but good. Hairspray the underside of the top section of your natural hair and lightly tease it with a comb or brush. Then pull the top hair over the fall, brush it smooth, pin down any stray sections and use a ponytail holder to secure the top half. For extra credit, take a piece of hair from the pony and wrap it around the holder to cover it. For extra-extra credit, curl the ponytail and bottom half of your hair to get the country-music-star-in-1965 vibe. As with cake and pay raises, when it comes to hair, bigger really is better. [MOLLY SIMMS] To ﬁnd out how to use your fall to create a giant, Adele-style ballerina bun, go to bust.com/downloads for additional instructions.

sole sisters

skin deep Want some sweet ink but are afraid of commitment? Just pay a visit to Tatt.ly and score some super cool temporary tattoos (no, really) created by talented illustrators and designers. Jessica Hische’s “Type Nerd” and Julia Rothman’s hand-drawn popsicles are just two of our faves ($5 for two, tatt.ly).

Sneaker-lovin’ ladies will dig the collection of footwear on display in Girls Got Kicks (Levellers Press, $30). Lori Lobenstine, founder of FemaleSneakerFiend.com, compiled this vibrant photo book that peeks into the lives (and closets) of chicas with a passion for shoes. From athletes to artists, fashionistas to fanatics, women from all walks of life speak out and show off; their stories are as cool as their kicks. [BRIDGETTE MILLER]

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For more information go to roseanneworld.com

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looks

glove story ELLEN GREENE IS OK with being known as the glove lady—after all, she’s been painting vivid, subversive imagery on vintage leather mitts since the ’90s. The 36-year-old Chicago-based artist, who collects leather gloves while thrifting, sees them as soft, retro symbols of feminine chastity and formality. “[A lady] could never really touch something with her actual hand if she was wearing gloves,” Greene says. A heavily inked woman, she explores the gloves’ repressive implications by adorning them with her spin on classic tattoo iconography. The resulting images include traditional, naked female sex objects, but with incongruous heads (think panthers, devils) or a few extra pairs of breasts. Greene is also a mother of two, and likes to incorporate gnarly feminine experiences like childbirth and childrearing into her work. Take her piece “Scar Belt Momma” for instance: an antique-white pair of gloves features a naked woman’s body with the head of a tiger, a banner coming out of the woman’s vagina says “I love you,” and “Scar Belt” (which evokes the after effect of a C-section) is spelled out in classic lettering across the knuckles. “The experience of being transformed and changing as a woman is a lot darker than what you’re allowed to choose to ﬁt into,” she says. And though she focuses on personal narratives while creating, she also thinks of the gloves’ past wearers. “Sometimes you can look at the individual pairs of gloves and imagine that maybe some of these not-sopretty realities were the realities of the women who wore these gloves, too,” she says. Greene’s gorgeous gloves are strictly for display, though she says wearable ones are forthcoming. See her body of work at artbyellengreene.com [ALISON BAITZ]

PHOTO: COURTESY OF ELLEN GREENE

THIS ARTIST LETS HER FINGERS DO THE TALKING

test kitchen THEIR PRODUCTS, OUR INTERNS Purple Prairie Botanicals Lavender Facial Toner Mist, $8.99, purpleprairie.com

CASEY:

Priti NYC Soy Polish Remover, $11.25, pritinyc.com

ERINA:

Yes! A product that didn’t make me break out into a million bumps and blackheads. I used this toner in the morning and at night and saw improvement. It didn’t smell bad and it didn’t completely dry out my skin.

This made my ﬁngernails smell like lemon—way better than acetone any day. It’s made with oil so it didn’t dry out my nails. Also, polish came off way easier with this than it does with traditional remover.

Thank goodness for this soy-based remover! It took off old polish just as well as its toxic counterpart, and the lemongrass scent is a huge plus. A good investment for eco-manicure addicts.

Finally, a nail polish remover that didn’t smell like alcohol and chemicals! This product took the polish off and left my ﬁngernails a little oily and lemon-scented.

Beneﬁt They’re Real! Mascara, $22, beneﬁtcosmetics.com

CA NDICE:

I don’t have the thickest lashes but with this mascara I can pretend I do. It also made them appear longer so I could bat my peepers like a boss. It was a little hard to remove, but nothing too serious.

I’m not normally a mascara girl, but I can tell this one’s a winner. Even with my teary eyes, it stayed put all day and I didn’t have to worry about smudging. The wand is spiky, so careful if you’re a novice like me.

Normally I spend three minutes or less applying eye makeup, and I’m not a mascara fan. But this one had a nice, short-bristle brush that glided clump-free onto my lashes, which still looked lengthy at the end of the day.

I love lavender-scented things. This toner felt cool and refreshing on my face after a long, hot shower. I don’t think it did too much for my skin, but the fragrance alone is worth an extra spritz.

This toner’s fresh lavender aroma was lovely. When I used it after washing my face it took off the remaining dirt, leaving my skin feeling very clean.

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GOOD STUFF [BY STEPHANIE J.] 1

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all that glitters ADD SOME RAZZLE DAZZLE TO THE PARTY SEASON WITH THESE SPARKLY PICKS 1. HOME SWEET HOME BANNER, $10, CATBIRDNYC.COM. 2. LINE AND ILLUMINATE EYE PENCIL IN MADAGASCAR BY BECCA, $23, BEAUTYHABIT.COM. 3. DAZZLE NECKLACE BY KATE SPADE, $78, KATESPADE.COM. 4. TINY STARLETTE SPARKLER PIN BY GIANT DWARF, $8, GIANTDWARF.ETSY.COM. 5. HYSTERIC GLITTER PLATFORM HIGH SANDALS BY ASOS, $69.84, ASOS.COM. 6. GOLD HOLGA CAMERA FISHEYE KIT, $84.90, HOLGACAMERA.NET. 7. “HELLO” LETTER CARD BY RIFLE PAPER CO., $4.50, RIFLEPAPERCO.COM. 8. MR. AND MRS. COCKTAIL GLASS SET BY FURBISH STUDIO, $18, SHOPFURBISH.COM. 9. NAIL POLISH IN ACROSS THE UNIVERSE BY DEBORAH LIPPMANN, $18, LIPPMANNCOLLECTION.COM. 10. GOLD PEACE SIGN DINNER PLATE, $29, CAMEONOUVEAU.COM. 11. LE MINI SAC BY CLARE VIVIER, $169, SEEVIVIER.COM.

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AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 GIRLS [#53] Cork City’s calling

One of Cork’s cool cathedrals

cork city, ireland THE LUCK O’ THE IRISH ABOUNDS IN THIS RIVERSIDE TOWN [BY AOIFE BARRY]

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University College Cork

CORK MAY BE a small city in the south of Ireland, but take it from a local: it packs quite a punch. Founded in the 6th century and home to about 280,000 people, Cork derives its name from the Irish word for swamp, but rest assured all signs of swamp life are long gone. Instead, you’ll ﬁnd cute vintage stores and boutiques, a vibrant music scene, candle-lit pubs, and vegan cupcake–dishing cafés, which are just a few of the reasons why some folks call it the “real capital of Ireland.” This mild-weathered city is divided by the River Lee and is best explored on foot, but keep an umbrella in your bag ’cause rain is always a possibility. Don’t let that hinder your explorations though—Cork has a long history that includes a Viking invasion, and every Georgian building and cobblestone street tells a story. Start your day like a local, at the famed English Market (The Grand Parade, opposite Bishop Lucey Park). This beautiful indoor market—opened in 1788—is one of the oldest in the world. Upstairs in the Farmgate Café you can satisfy your rumbling belly with a traditional Irish breakfast of sausages and bacon, before going downstairs to check out the sights and smells of the food market, including local delicacy crubeens (boiled pigs’ feet). To salivate over something more tasteful than tasty, like delightful vintage dresses, pop into Miss Daisy Blue (Unit 7 Market Parade, English Market). Around the corner from the market, you’ll

Lewis Glucksman Gallery

find the poky Uneeda Bookshop (71 Oliver Plunkett St.), a mom-and-pop secondhand book and music store, filled with old 78s and paperback treasures. Score some sartorial bargains at Penneys (27 – 30 Patrick St.), the two-story retailer where all Cork women go to source affordable, vintage-inspired outfits. Get there early to beat the crowds, and pay special attention to the dress and lingerie departments for extra-cute stuff. Recuperate at the tiny Butler’s Chocolate Café (30 Oliver Plunkett St.) with a soy chai latte and some dark chocolate truffles, before continuing your spree at the newly developed shopping nook, Opera Lane (off Patrick St., opposite Penneys). Here you’ll find River Island (39 Patrick St.), specializing in graphic prints and killer heels, and New Look, which features a great line of plus-size clothing and accessories. Counter your consumerism with a dose of culture at the Crawford Art Gallery (behind Opera Lane, Emmet Pl.), and take a free tour of its impressive exhibitions, including a collection of paintings by Irish female artists from 1886 – 1976. Afterward, sink your teeth into a homemade tart and a comforting cup of Cork’s own Barry’s Tea at the in-house café. Then discover your inner Paula Deen at the Cork Butter Museum (Tony O’Reilly Centre, O’Connell Square, Shandon)—yes, a museum dedicated to the craft of butter-making.

PHOTOGRAPHED BY IZA SZCZUTKOWSKA

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Oliver Plunkett, one of Cork City’s lovely lanes

Get caffeinated at Gulpd

Darling dresses at Miss Daisy Blue

When in Cork, it’s a sin not to try a Beamish brewski, our alternative to Guinness, so end your day at the atmospheric Mutton Lane Inn (3 Mutton Lane, Patrick St.) with a pint of the black stuff. You won’t want to leave this candle-lit pub, with its colorful posters, indie-music soundtrack, cozy atmosphere, and chatty regulars. Thanks to our independent spirit, Cork is referred to as “the Rebel County,” so it’s ﬁtting that the city’s home to the quirky Triskel Arts Centre (Tobin St., just off South Main St.), which houses an art gallery, small cinema, and 18th-century church–turned–music venue, Christchurch, that hosts offbeat performances by the likes of Laurie Anderson. Start your new day of adventuring here, with a luscious vegan cupcake at the Centre’s buzzing Gulpd Café, before going upstairs to Plugd Records, arguably the country’s best independent record store. Catch a band or DJ perform there on the weekend, or ask the friendly staff for a local gig recommendation. Just around the corner is Turquoise Flamingo (4 Washington St.), a blink-and-you’llmiss-it vintage boutique with clothing that’ll help you channel the spirit of Joan Holloway.

Sips and sweets at the Triskel Arts Centre

English Market’s munchies

More bygone-era threads can be found nearby at the popular boutique Mercury Goes Retrograde (19c Drawbridge St.), or head to Primetime (8 & 9 Washington St.) if you’re into grafﬁti, skateboarding, and urban style. Then take a breather at the welcoming, glassfronted Café Gusto (3 Washington St.), which boasts some of the best sandwiches in the city, like Jamaican jerk chicken in a spelt pita. If it’s a more substantial feast you’re after, shimmy to the Liberty Grill (32 Washington St.), a petite, bustling New England–style restaurant with the friendliest wait staff in Cork. There you can stuff your pretty face with anything from eggs Benedict to tempeh burgers, just make sure to save room for a slice of the silky vegan chocolate torte. Then stroll down Washington St., along the bank of the River Lee, to the historic University College Cork (College Rd.), with its beautiful grounds, perfectly manicured green spaces, and imposing historic buildings dating back to the 1800s. Go through the enormous wrought-iron gates, past the huge leafy trees, to its award-winning and unusual-looking Lewis Glucksman Gallery, which features some of the country’s best modern art, sculpture, and installations.

Around the corner is the tiny but beautiful Honan Chapel, home to stained-glass windows designed by famous Irish artist Harry Clarke. Finish your visit with a bang at one of the many music venues Cork has to offer. Avoid the tourist-trap bars and walk instead to the intimate An Réalt Dearg (125 Barrack St.), the oldest pub in Cork. Its name means “the red star” in Gaelic, and it’s definitely a star of the Cork music scene, hosting a diverse range of musicians and electronic DJs every night of the week. If you’re into heavier music, Fred Zeppelins’ (8 Parliament St.) tiny upstairs stage features metal, punk, and ska bands. Or catch local up-and-coming indie acts at Cyprus Avenue (above the Old Oak pub, Caroline St.). Then get down to venue/nightclub The Pavilion (13 Carey’s Lane, off Patrick St.), a former 1920s cinema, for DJs spinning house, classic hip-hop, soul, and funk. On the last Sunday of the month, it transforms into a flea market with everything from secondhand vinyl to locally made cosmetics. No matter how diverse your tastes, you’ll find lots to love in Cork. Whether you’re a foodie or a music nerd, history buff or art fan, this compact and fascinating city has you covered.

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holiday givables that are as impressive as they are affordable GIFTS PHOTOGRAPHED BY KATE LACEY

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The fun fox lurking inside this teacup is sure to make brunches and tea parties extra special. Hidden Animals Teacup, $23.50, blueribbongeneralstore.net.

Keep ’em separated with this adorable melamine plate for kids, which comes with a giant suction-cup base so it won’t slide around. “Secret Garden” Divided Suction Plate, $12, oreoriginals.com.

For rosé lovers who want to pass the Courvoisier, this combo makes a classy cocktail gift. Courvoisier Rosé, $24.98, shopmerwins.com or your local liquor store. This adorable BROOKLYNrehab porcelain tooth can hold lost teeth or whatever else needs a place in small cavities. Tooth Vessel, $25, brooklynrehab.etsy.com.

They will knot believe the cuteness of this lightweight pendant, handmade by Lucie Beeston out of reclaimed wood. Sailor Knot Necklace in Eau de Nil, £8, lucie0ellen.etsy.com. Forget blogs. Give your creative pals this hand–block-printed notebook so they can journal the old-fashioned way—on paper. Katharine Watson Journal, $26, shopkatharinewatson.etsy.com.

Even in February, this beautifully illustrated calendar will make it feel like spring all year long. Botanical Calendar, $28, riﬂepaperco.com.

Easy to use, easy to clean, and capable of pumping out buckets of juice, this machine is good for their health and your wallet. Black & Decker Fruit and Vegetable Juice Extractor, $29.99, blackanddeckerappliances.com.

Let their pussy chop the track with this hilarious scratchingpost turntable, complete with spinning deck. Cat Scratch, £15, suck.uk.com.

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Louder and cuter than most conventional docking stations, this speaker will cheerfully broadcast their playlist wherever it’s perched. chicBuds’ Fauvette Bird Speaker, $34.99, chicbuds.com.

This handmade decorative dino in britches will leave ’em in stitches. “What’s Up, Britches?” Hand Embroidery, $35, whatparty.etsy.com.

For friends who appreciate simple style, these sweet little handmade sterling-silver studs are right on target. Melanie Favreau Arrow Earrings, $35, melaniefavreau.etsy.com.

Foodies hungering for juice pops can store this unit in the freezer and bust it out for a cool treat in only seven minutes. Zoku Duo Quick Pop Maker, $36.95, zokuhome.com.

They can mount their iPad on a desktop stand, hang it on a wall, or carry it like a briefcase with these versatile accessories. Newer Technology NuGuard GripStand 2 with GripBase, $39.99, macsales.com.

Illustrator Jenny Herbert makes pop culture pillows that are sure to delight cult-ﬁlm fans everywhere. John Waters and Shelley Duvall Pillows, $40 each, justjennyherbert.com.

This massive, gorgeously photographed and illustrated tome ﬁlled with Dutch/ French/Italian-inspired recipes and tutorials is much more than a cookbook; it’s a series of adventures for the culinarily inclined. Home Made by Yvette van Boven, $40, amazon.com.

Bring a bit of nature into someone’s overly technological life with this environmentally friendly bamboo iPhone case made to look like an old Leica camera. Signicase Natural Wood Case for iPhone 4, $41.99, signicase.com.

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This colorful, crazily beaded necklace will take any outﬁt to the next level. Species by the Thousands Camp Collection Necklace, $48, speciesbythethousands.com.

Gadgets will stay safe and sound in this laptop sleeve that makes all the little birdies go tweet, tweet, tweet. Roost Laptop Sleeve, $47, redinfred.com. Heidi Iverson of H-Luv Fabrications hand-makes the cutest mushroom pillow people! They’re perfect for the nursery, but even grownups will love these fun fungi. H-Luv Mushroom, $44, sweetwilliamltd.com. Intense photography documenting human-bone decorations from the early modern period through the 19th century makes this the most creepily beautiful book of the season. The Empire of Death: A Cultural History of Ossuaries and Charnel Houses by Paul Koudounaris, $50, amazon.com. Get your favorite procrastinator going with this cheery chalkboard. Just write down what needs doing and then…make a pot of coffee. It can probably wait, anyway. Mini Goals Chalkboard, $55, marykatemcdevitt.etsy.com.

Want to ﬁll them up with kindness long after they’ve unwrapped their gifts? Get them a tastingbox subscription from Foodzie.com and they’ll receive artisanal goodies month after month. Foodzie Tasting Box, subscriptions from $59.90, foodzie.com.

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These handcrafted camera straps make the perfect gifts for the shutterbugs in your life. Camera Strap by Heavy Leather NYC, $55, heavyleathernyc.com.

He may be doing time for murder, but you can’t deny that Phil Spector was a genius responsible for producing the best girl groups ever. This seven-CD box set includes hits like “Walking in the Rain” by the Ronettes, and the most disturbing song of all time, “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss),” by the Crystals. Phil Spector Presents: The Philles Album Collection (Legacy), $56.94, amazon.com or your local record store.

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Gifted together with some glass jars from your local big-box store, this set of nearly 100 reusable fabric labels will guarantee that the pantry is the cutest room in the house. Reusable Fabric Pantry Labels, $59.95, lovemae.com.au.

Saturday morning’s former leading lady has ﬁnally gotten the re-release treatment with a truly outrageous box set, perfect for any child of the ’80s. JEM and The Holograms: The Truly Outrageous Complete Series 12-DVD Box Set, $56.99, amazon.com.

Every booze-loving broad needs a classy ﬂask. And why not pair it with some grade-A hooch? Izola “Three Sheets to the Wind” Flask, $25, izola.com; Hudson Whiskey Four Grain Bourbon, $39.99, marketviewliquor.com.

Screw the Snuggie! A onesize-ﬁts-all dinosaur-pajama costume is the perfect swagger suit for any lounge lizard. Japanese Kigurumi Costume, $78, fredﬂare.com.

Make someone cozy and cute with these extra-long hand-knit mittens. Donna Wilson Gloves, £38.50, donnawilson.com.

When you want to bring cheer to your ho, ho, hos, there’s no better sweater. Reindeer Threesome Sweater, $69.99, skedouche.com.

Improve sleep, relieve stress, and ease back pain with this organic mat that delivers acupressure treatments at home. Spoonk Acupressure Mat, $79, spoonkspace.com.

This bunny light is all kinds of adorable, whether it’s used to brighten up the kids’ room or your best friend’s studio apartment. White Rabbit Lamp, $82, sprouthome.com.

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The ultimate ﬁnd for big fans of HBO’s Big Love, this new box set includes all 53 episodes, plus more extras than the Henrickson family. Big Love: The Complete Collection, $119.95, hboshop.com.

Combining modern ﬂair with antique-y creepiness, these shadow-box necklaces make goth glam. Classic Hardware Steampunk Mermaid and Steampunk Birdcage Reliquary Necklaces, $95 each, classichardware.com.

The nonproﬁt Apopo is doing amazing work training rats to detect landmines and tuberculosis in sub-Saharan Africa. Now you can help friends sponsor one of these little superstars—they’ll get regular updates on their rodent’s heroic deeds in return. HeroRAT Adoption Program, 60€ for one year, apopo.org.

DIY seltzer is reason enough to give this sleek and shiny soda maker, but pair it with handmade syrups in ﬂavors like Lovage and Sarsaparilla, and you’ve got a gift that keeps on giving. Sodastream Pure Seltzer Starter Kit, $129.95, sodastreamusa.com, and P & H Soda Co. soda syrups, $12 each, pnhsodaandsyrupinc.com.

Video killed the radio star, and iPods killed the radio—or did they? This whitehot, AM/FM hi-ﬁ radio will bring Nina Totenberg to life wherever she’s needed. Tivoli Radio Model One Frost White Collection, $179.99, tivoliaudio.com. Some gadgets deserve to be kept behind closed doors, but not this candy-colored food processor. It will brighten up any kitchen, and your purchase helps raise money for breast cancer research, too. KitchenAid Cook for the Cure Edition 12-Cup Food Processor, $199.99, shopkitchenaid.com.

Perfect for all your medicalmarijuana-smoking friends, this vaporizer cuts out the carcinogens caused by burning weed for a healthier toke. It can also be used as an aromatherapy diffuser for the non-prescribed. Carson Gier’s Marilyn Vaporizer, $220, hotboxvapors.com.

The bird that pops out of this handmade clock is so damn cute, they’ll be glad when time ﬂies by. Black Forest Works Woodland Deer Cuckoo Clock by Mat and Sue Daly, $200, blackforestworks.etsy.com.

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BY LISA BUTTERWORTH PHOTOGRAPHED BY SHERYL NIELDS

STYLIST: KARLA WELCH AT THE WALL GROUP MAKEUP: LAUREN ANDERSON AT THE WALL GROUP HAIR: MARA ROSZAK AT STARWORKS

VINTAGE CAPE: ANNA SUI; RING: ALEXANDER MCQUEEN

Actress Kat Dennings became an indie “it” girl in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist before setting small screens on fire with her role on 2 Broke Girls. Here, she reveals why she loves talking dirty, hates being sexy, and enjoys doing laundry

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tered all over L.A. to promote it; I passed her gigantic mug on at least three billboards just on my short drive across town to meet her. With an audience of that magnitude, 2 Broke Girls is a bona fide hit, which means Dennings is busier than ever. In addition to working on the show all week and doing a photo shoot for InStyle all day, she’s swooped in for our interview only to have to run out in 30 minutes for another one. Her BUST cover shoot is the next morning, and she’ll go straight from there to the CBS studios for an appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. She is understandably exhausted. “You’ll have to humor me,” she says. “I’m out of my mind right now.” But that doesn’t stop her from being sweet, chatty, and extremely enthusiastic about everything, whether it’s coffee (“I love coffee. I could not live without coffee. It would be a disaster”) or John Waters (“He’s a genius”). Oh, and food. “I’m stoked,” she says, perusing the menu. “I realized in the car that I hadn’t eaten today.” When our server comes to take our order, Dennings’ signature self-deprecation comes out. “I’m gonna get…hmmm.” Our waiter stands patiently while she contemplates her options. “Could I be more annoying?” Dennings asks. “Uh…um. I hate myself. Wait.” Another few moments go by before she says “OK” with purpose and settles on a veggie sandwich. Since I stuffed my face with an enormous chocolate croissant while I was wait-

BLAZER: BALMAIN; VINTAGE T-SHIRT: STYLIST'S OWN; CUFFS: LOUIS VUITTON; SPECIAL THANKS TO NEIMAN MARCUS

AT DENNINGS IS a hugger. I know this because it’s the first thing she does when we meet at Le Pain Quotidien on a typically mild evening in Studio City, Los Angeles, right before she apologizes for being late. “I’ve been at a photo shoot all day, and don’t be scared, I still have crazy makeup on,” she says before lifting her Ray-Ban sunglasses to reveal her mesmerizing blue eyes, dramatically ringed in sparkly black liner and shadow. They’re a wild contrast to her ultra-casual look—jeans, T-shirt, scarf, headphones—and demeanor as she drops her bags and slumps into the chair across from me. As it turns out, I’m lucky she made it to our interview at all. “I don’t have any gas in my car. The little orange dot came on last night on my way home,” she says. “[But I was like] fuck it. It’s two in the morning. I’m going home. ‘You better not die.’ I’m always talking to my car when there’s no one on the road, like, ‘Hold on, you asshole! Fucking hold on! I gotta get home, I gotta go to sleep.’ That’s the state of me right now.” And it’s no wonder. The week’s been a big one for the 25-year-old actress. Her new sitcom, 2 Broke Girls, premiered two days earlier to over 19 million people (though she didn’t even get to see it air, since she was filming), and her face is plas-

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ing for her to arrive (to which she exclaims, “Good for you!”), I mate/co-server, Caroline (played by Beth Behrs), shows up to ask if she’ll feel weird if I don’t eat while we chat. “It won’t make work after her shift was supposed to start: “You can’t be late again,” Max says. “I’m already worried about me being late…evme feel weird,” she says. “Nothing makes me feel weird.” I get the sense that this is true. Kat Dennings has made ery month!” Or when Caroline asks her to open the back door: a career out of playing the “weird” girl, who, for me—and I’d “We’ve known each other two days and you’re already asking for guess for the typical BUST reader—is often the most relatable back door?” The humor lies mostly in Dennings’ delivery, which character in a movie. In The 40-Year-Old Virgin, she rivaled is good-naturedly sly and comically casual. “I think that’s totally Catherine Keener’s magnetism as her angsty, newly sexually awesome,” she says of Max’s indelicate tendencies. “And I think active daughter. And in The House Bunny, she stole scenes a woman saying stuff you’d usually hear coming out of a truck as an acerbic punk. But it wasn’t until she starred in 2008’s driver is just such a great shock to your brain that it’s interestNick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist that Dennings unleashed the ing. Like, I kinda get hooked on saying it.” Talking dirty in front of a live studio audience every week full power of her subversive charm, working her way into the hearts of indie girls everywhere. In the “one crazy night in New wasn’t the only draw for Dennings. As she explains what inYork” romantic comedy, she plays the sassy, smart-mouthed trigued her about playing Max—which, if all goes well, she lead with an endearing vulnerability. As she falls for Michael could be doing for years—it’s clear that finding strong female Cera’s Nick, ditches her douchey ex-bf, and has her first O characters is a priority for her. “[Max is] the girl who can hang with dudes and hold her thanks to Nick’s nimble own but not have to be sexy. fingers, it’s hard not to fall I hate that. I’ve always hatfor her. In fact, Dennings ed that, when I read scripts has been flying under the Women are sexy—the end. about, like, how a girl uses radar as Hollywood’s go-to being a girl to get her way, alternative “it” girl for the And you can use that power or she’s trying to be sexy past six years, and it’s easy for men,” she says, pausto see why. Her dark hair, if you want to, but there’s a ing only to take a big bite gap-toothed grin, and noncertain even more powerful of her sandwich. “’Cause all skeletal figure represent women are sexy—the end. the antithesis of your typielement to not using it; just And you can use that power cal starlet. Her charming leading with other things— if you want to, but there’s a sarcasm and offbeat humor certain even more powerful simply seal the deal. But how smart you are, how element to not using it; just now, with a starring role on funny you are...I think it’s leading with other things— a prime-time network TV how smart you are, how sitcom, I can’t help but feel really good for men to see a funny you are. So I think like the secret of Kat Denthat’s very empowering for nings’ awesomeness is out. girl like that on TV. women, and I think it’s reEspecially since Max, the ally good for men to see a young waitress she plays girl like that on TV.” on the Laverne & ShirleyIt makes sense that the esque 2 Broke Girls, shares her easygoing, wry, feminist-y attitude. And though the show’s show’s main female character is strong-willed and a tad raunlocation (a diner in Williamsburg, Brooklyn) is obviously a chy, since the sitcom was co-created by comedian Whitney set and the premise is slightly far-fetched (Max befriends a Cummings, who Dennings believes based the role on herself. riches-to-rags heiress, and the two plan to open a cupcake The production is also backed by a staff of notable female writbakery), Dennings plays a character who seems totally real. ers, including comedian Morgan Murphy, blogging phenom Max works two jobs to barely make ends meet, shops at Good- Molly McAleer, and former Groundling Liz Feldman. “That will, wears a Run DMC T-shirt to bed, and has an acrid wit was a real priority for Whitney when they were looking for about her. It’s a part that seems made for Dennings, which writers,” Dennings says, leaning forward at the table. “It didn’t might not be too far from the truth. “I was the spoiled brat have to be women, but they wanted to make sure that whoever who got offered the role, straight up,” Dennings says. “I read they got thought women were funny—funny and powerful.” When I mention it’s unfortunate that there may be writers out [the pilot], and I was obsessed with it immediately.” Some of her excitement about the gig, in addition to Max’s there who don’t think that, Dennings gets animated. “There coolness and quirks, comes from the fact that the jokes she gets are! It’s so sad,” she says. “It’s not like a girl-power thing, it’s to make are surprisingly crass for a show that airs on CBS bean equality thing—saying women are just as funny as men, fore the kids have gone to bed. For example, when her room- women can be funnier than men, and I’m OK with that.” She

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adds that the estrogen-fueled set makes for an awesome work- was flooded. Everything got destroyed. Every single piece of ing environment. “It’s just a great energy. It feels good, being art I had ever done,” she says. “I didn’t go to art school. I took it as a sign.” But Dennings finds other ways to express her cresurrounded by smart women—comforting.” It’s not, however, a completely lady-run operation. The ative tendencies—she happens to be a master of budget décor. show is produced by Michael Patrick King, whose last project A DIY upholstery tutorial she wrote for Zooey Deschanel’s was a little series called Sex and the City. It’s a strange course website HelloGiggles.com involves nothing but fabric and a of kismet for Dennings: King gave the actress her first big buttload of safety pins. “My whole living room [cost] $80,” she break on a season 3 episode of SATC way back in 2000. Den- says, proudly. “My chair and my couch, the whole thing.” Dennings’ DIY mentality and general cool make her a natunings played a snotty, entitled teen who hired Samantha to do p.r. for her bat mitzvah. Though that was her first recogniz- ral BUST cover girl. But I had to find out about her views on the able role, Dennings had been working toward a career in front F-word. When I lead into my question by telling her that she of the camera for years. “I feel like I popped out of the womb strikes me as someone who is actually representing BUSTy gals wanting to be an actor,” she says, swiping at a thick layer of in the media, she interrupts with vigor. “Oh, P.S., I love BUST,” eye makeup with her finger. “It has no ties to my family at all, she says, pointing a finger in the air for emphasis. “As soon as I so it came out of nowhere.” Dennings grew up in the suburbs got this [interview request], I was like, ‘Yes! I don’t care what it is, of Philadelphia, with her speech therapist mom and molecu- I’m doing it.’” So I’m not entirely surprised by her answer when lar pharmacologist dad. “We didn’t have much money, so we’d I ask whether feminism is something she ever considers. “I abgo to the library, and I’d get movies like Top Hat, An American solutely think about feminism,” Dennings says. “The way I view in Paris, Gilda Radner stuff—you know, classics,” she says. “I feminism—and I know there are a lot of different things going was like, ‘Whatever that is, that’s what I want to do. I don’t on—but, at its purest form, to me, it’s a very positive, supportive, nurturing, empowerment know what that is, but it’s thing. I mean, God, who isn’t just…me.’ And then I just a feminist? If you don’t think ran with it.” Dennings’ women are as good as men, brother had a friend who I mean, God, who isn’t a you’re not a good person.” was doing some acting, so Before I can interject with an he introduced her to his feminist? If you don’t think “Amen, sister,” she continmanager. Dennings worked women are as good as men, ues. “I like to think that most the connection, getting auof the population of people ditions and work in New you’re not a good person. worth being friends with York and L.A., eventually are feminists, if that’s what moving with her family to feminism means. Again—it Southern California. probably means something Her parents still live in town, and when I ask how she plans to spend her next rare bit else. I’m gonna get someone angry, setting me on fire for this, but I of free time, she tells me visiting them is one of her top pri- think it’s a positive, beautiful, and good thing,” she says. “Supportorities. The rest of her day-off to-do list sounds remarkably ing women is the point. It’s the point of life. Women are life. You familiar. “Truthfully: sleep, do laundry, clean. That’s usually have to support us.” I have an overwhelming desire to high-five all I do,” she says, sucking down the last of her mint lemon- her. Perhaps that’s why I’m not paying close enough attention ade. “And I enjoy it. I really like home things. It makes me feel when our server swings by the table with our check. Dennings normal, like I have a center of some kind.” Nurturing that cen- slips him her credit card before he even has a chance to leave ter doesn’t always involve getting groceries or making home- the bill. When I marvel at her swiftness and try to protest, she cooked meals, though. “I clearly don’t go food shopping,” she simply cackles, and exclaims, “Too smooth! ‘Too smooth Densays. “I have a jar of marinara sauce in the fridge, that’s it. And nings.’ Put that in your article.” As our time comes to a close, I usually get home late and I don’t even remember eating it. I ask if she has any other upcoming projects we need to talk Then I wake up and see a plate of marinara sauce next to my about. She rolls her eyes. “I don’t even know what day it is,” she bed, and I’m like, Did you eat marinara sauce? With a fork? mutters, as she gathers her stuff to leave. “I’ll have to IMDb myself to see what I’ve been working on.” What the fuck is wrong with you? That’s not food.” Dennings throws on her sweater and picks up her bags, Cooking may not be her forte, but she is crafty as hell. “I knit, I paint, I draw,” she says, leaning back in her chair. In heading out to her next interview. Just after she leaves the resfact, her love of art almost took her on a very different path. taurant, a bus drives by bearing a huge 2 Broke Girls ad on its “I was gonna go to art school for classical illustration,” she ex- side, with Dennings’ adorable face covering half the vehicle’s plains. “I was getting my portfolio together. Every piece of art façade. I don’t think she notices, and she probably wouldn’t I’d ever made was on the floor where I was living. I go away care even if she did. But for a closing scene, Michael Patrick for a while, come back, and a pipe had burst or something. It King couldn’t have planned it better himself. "

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SWEATER: STELLA MCCARTNEY; NECKLACE WORN AS HEADPIECE: IPPOLITA

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DRESS: PARKER; SHOES: GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI; BELT: CHLOÉ; EARRINGS: CC SKYE

@/7A7<5 B63

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D3< B63 ;=AB well-educated and independent gal can make a mistake at the bar, and we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean taking home the wrong kind of man or getting tipsy in front of the boss. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re talking about bigger disgraces, like giving bartenders the vaguest of drink criteria (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Give me something fruity and not too strongâ&#x20AC;?) or letting a guy buy you something mixed with soda or sour. Both are surefire ways to lower a girlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s badass factor and generally perpetuate the stereotype that women donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know Jack Danielâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about booze. In fact, thanks to our long and storied relationship with libations, one of the most complex and delicious spirits is one we tend to steer clear of: whiskey. But these days, a few of the countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best lady bartenders and booze experts are leading the charge to make women knowledgeable about the spirits they drink while encouraging them to try what has long been considered a manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s liquor. Times have changed since drinking hard liquor was neither ladylike nor appropriate for babes. Women now make up half the workforce and, consequently, the happy-hour crowd. We have more disposable income than ever. Combine that with the comeback of pre-Prohibition classic cocktail culture, emulating a time when our grandmothers took pride in

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Ivy Mix, mixinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; it up

Misty Kalkofen makes killer drinks

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03 A>317471 How you order a drink is just as important as what you order, so be clear and deliberate. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Showing how you want your drink made shows power and it shows presence,â&#x20AC;? says Brooklynbased mixologist Ivy Mix.

;/93 =@23@7<5 / 075 23/: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pause your conversation to order your drink. It demonstrates knowledge,â&#x20AC;? Mix says.

74 G=C 2=<Â¸B 9<=E 8CAB /A9Â´ /AA3@B7D3:G =4 1=C@A3 Look at the cocktail list ďŹ rst. If something sounds good, try it, and tweak it as necessary, Mix says. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be afraid to ask questions that will help you reďŹ ne your taste.

mixing and serving guests stiff, no-frills drinks like Manhattans and old-fashioneds, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d think women would know more when it comes to whiskey, a category that also includes Scotch and bourbon. But they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Though this barrel-aged spirit distilled from fermented grain mash is one of the most popular types of alcohol (it made up 29 percent of industry revenue last year, right behind vodkaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 31 percent, according to the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States), women represent just 25 percent of whiskey drinkers. Lynette Marrerro, a mixologist, former liquor-brand ambassador, and president of the New York chapter of Ladies United for the Preservation of Endangered Cocktails (LUPEC), says big liquor companies are partly to blame for womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s igno0==H3 rance about spir=@23@7<5 its in general and 3B7?C3BB3 whiskey in particfor :/273A ular. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been victims of the marketingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re thinking â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s, Sex and the City strategy,â&#x20AC;? she says. If you look at contemporary ad campaigns, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d think only men drink booze that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t clear and that women wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t touch a drink if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not pretty and candy-flavored. Heather Greene, one of the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only female Scotch whiskey experts and a brand ambassador for Glenfiddich Scotch agrees. â&#x20AC;&#x153;[Women are] so alienated from the whole world of brown spirits because [whiskey was] designed for men,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Guys have always been the gatekeepers but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a world that women can get involved in.â&#x20AC;? Being marginalized in the realm of whiskey isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only reason women should taste the stuff, though. According to Marrerro, ladies generally have good palates, which allows them to identify the spiritâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s complex characteristics and nuances. Greene agrees. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Women have found great enjoyment in wine. The next step for them would be to explore all the beauty of whiskey. Whiskey offers more aroma compounds than any other spirit. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something to savor,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It engages the senses and deepens the palate the way a delicious meal would.â&#x20AC;? To understand why weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re generally in the dark about whiskey, it helps to look at the

history of our on-again, off-again relationship with booze. Ladies actually used to play a much larger role in the world of liquor. In fact, in late medieval England women dominated the drink trade. Ballads extolled how valuable an attractive wife could be for business as she welcomed guests, plied them with liquor, and kept them happy and entertained. In colonial America, women could not legally own or acquire property, enter into contract, or write a will, but they were offered liquor licenses when widowed as an alternative to public assistance. By 1696, women held almost half of the liquor licenses in Boston and managed a third of its 75 taverns. In Charleston, SC, women outnumbered male barkeeps in all but one year of the 15 preceding the American Revolution. Ladies werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just making a living off of liquor; several colonial women made big waves in the industry. Deborah Man was the most successful liquor retailer in Boston in the 1710s, and Rebecca Holmes presided over Bunch of Grapes, the important and famous Boston tavern that became a Revolutionist hangout for the Sons of Liberty. But despite their role behind the bar, ladies looking to imbibe faced a double standard. Though women were expected to use their sex appeal to sell drinks, and display motherly and hospitable sensibilities to make guests feel at home at the bar, it was considered unladylike to drink booze or hang out in taverns. Female patrons earned bad reputations and were accused of using the establishments to engage in illicit sex. Whiskey, however, wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a big part of the pictureâ&#x20AC;Śyet. Rum was the spirit of choice until the start of the American Revolution in 1763, which made importing its raw materials difficult and expensive. Since whiskey could be produced entirely in America, it quickly became the countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fave. In fact, in 1790, U.S. government figures show that the annual per-capita alcohol consumption of Americans over the age of 15 included five gallons of distilled spirits, the majority of which were whiskey. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably no coincidence that this uptick in whiskey drinking coincided with the start of the temperance movement. Keeping women out of the tavern was consistent with societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s insistence that good wives fulfill their duties to husbands and children

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/ 5C723 B= 2@7<97<5 E67A93G AB@/756B New whiskey drinkers may ďŹ nd its smoky, woodsy, aromatic ďŹ&#x201A;avors intense, so take small steps. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Explore it like food and wine, and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry so much about the rules of it,â&#x20AC;? Greene advises. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how to get started.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;

by remaining at their labors rather than squandering time drinking. But women were getting fed up, having to deal with all the responsibilities of a home and family while their men were getting good and drunk. In the early 19th century, they organized temperance groups to put pressure on their husbands, fathers, and sons to quit drinking. The Daughters of Temperance boasted 20,000 members, making it the largest womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s organization of any kind prior to the Civil War. In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, women led the charge to enact Prohibition, but once it was instated in 1919, they soon became a part of the movement to repeal it, unhappy with the bootlegging, organized crime, and poverty that it caused. The end of Prohibition in 1933 had E67A93G 7A ;/97<5 Americans back in the bars, but men / 1=;30/19 /;=<5 once again found ways to keep womE=;3< >/@B:G en out of them. Afraid that barmaids 031/CA3 B63 @C:3A were encroaching on their jobs, bar/<2 @35C:/B7=<A tenders in N.Y.C. in 1936 sought to =4 E6/B 7A ban women from drinking booze and E=;/<:G /<2 pouring it. With the start of World E6/B 7A ;/<:G /@3 AB/@B7<5 B= 0:C@ War II in 1939, though, more and more women began to take places behind the bar, filling in for the men who went off to fight. These women began forming unions, and by 1953, were gaining serious ground, defeating potential laws that would ban them from running barrooms. By the time the cocktail culture of the Mad Men variety became a part of the high life, women were expected to serveâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and allowed to partake. But even as recently as 1971, laws existed in California prohibiting women from serving whiskey. And weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve yet to completely escape from societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s antiquated opinions of women and booze. Greene says that when she started marketing Scotch four years ago, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d spend half an hour explaining to a room full of men that she knew what she was talking about so she could get their respect. But things are starting to change. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I do think that whiskey is making a comeback among women, partly because the rules and regulations of what is womanly and

â&#x20AC;?

Pour a shot of whiskey into a glass (an oldfashioned or rocks glass will do), and sniff it with your mouth partly open. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stick your nose too far in, or you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get the perfume and aromas. You will probably detect some woodsy, spicy, or vanilla-like scents.

2 Take a sip, and let the whiskey sit in your mouth. Identify the ďŹ&#x201A;avors you taste and where it tingles. You should get a sweetness on the tip of your tongue.

3 Swallow the whiskey. How does it go down? Is it a short ďŹ nish or a long ďŹ nish? (Does the taste quickly disappear or linger?)

4 Now try adding a few drops of water, which will open up new characteristics in the whiskey. Then try adding a few ice cubes. Whiskey is dynamic, so the taste will change.

5 Repeat whenever you get a chance with various types (Scotch, rye, Irish whiskey, bourbon) and ages.

6 Pick your favorite whiskey, and enjoy it whichever way you like best.

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E63< G=CÂ¸@3 /:: 0CA7<3AA Aged spirits served neat (straight up, sometimes chilled but no ice). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pace your way through a whiskey menu.â&#x20AC;? Marrerro says. It shows you can handle yourself.

E63< G=C E/<B A=;3B67<5 2/7<BG Try a maple leaf. The refreshing mix of bourbon, lemon juice, and maple syrup has just the right amount of sweetness.

E63< G=C E/<B B= A3/: B63 23/: â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I think badass, I think of a stirred cocktail, like an oldfashioned. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a sexiness to it,â&#x20AC;? Mix says. It shows an appreciation for the ďŹ ner things in life and also that you know what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing.

E63< G=C E/<B / AB/<2/@2 5= B= A rye or bourbon Manhattan (with sweet vermouth and bitters)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;cool and classic.

what is manly are starting to blur,â&#x20AC;? says Ivy Mix, a mixologist at the renowned Brooklyn cocktail bar Clover Club. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In the past, if a woman ordered an old-fashioned or a fantastic bourbon neat, it would have seemed gruff. Now it seems powerful and determined. [Societal norms are] changing, and how and what women drink is following suit. Almost like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Uh-huh, I can do this too. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need orange juice to make this acceptable to my supposedly delicate palate. I am just as strong as any of you.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? The classic cocktail lounges popping up all over the U.S. offer relaxed and reE6/B B= 2@7<9 spectful places for women to 23>3<27<5 =< test the waG=C@ ;==2 ters, especially when it comes to whiskey-based drinks like Manhattans, old-fashioneds, and Sazeracs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much easier to go out and get exposure to quality spirits and cocktails,â&#x20AC;? says Mix. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The ambience of some of these cocktail bars is a gateway for women to learn more about cocktails and spirits. Ten years ago, you couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get the type of cocktails you can get today.â&#x20AC;? Interest in cocktails is also a natural extension of the current food-culture craze. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know people who are foodies, and they want to know their cuts of steak,â&#x20AC;? says Mix. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So why not know the mash of your bourbon?â&#x20AC;? The big liquor companies are beginning to catch up, too. Marrerro says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We definitely associate light spirits with women, but there are actually a lot of women who love whiskey. This is the first year that women are in marketing plans for a lot of companies.â&#x20AC;? Greene is proof of that. She recently launched the Mrs. Roberts Single Malt Society, an informative N.Y.C.-based series for curious, professional ladies to enjoy the spirit â&#x20AC;&#x153;in a non-pandering environment.â&#x20AC;? The program is named for 110-year-old Janet Roberts, Scotlandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest woman and the last surviving granddaughter of William Grant, who founded the Glenfiddich Distillery in 1886. Greeneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goal is to educate women about aged, brown spirits without feminizing them. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing interesting events that donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t insult women. There are no manicure and whiskey nights or chocolate and whiskey. Forget that,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;For the past four years, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been one of the only women

out there doing this and trying to show women that this is something they can enjoy.â&#x20AC;? Innovative bartenders are at it as well, like Misty Kalkofen of Drink in Boston and president of her local LUPEC chapter. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every once in a while, a woman will ask me for a girly drink, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll say, well I like Macallan Scotch, is that what you mean?â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bartenders are recognizing that women do want to try other things. We want to introduce them to spirits in the right way.â&#x20AC;? Of course, some liquor companies have introduced sweet, crossover blends meant to entice females to drink aged spiritsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;like Jack Danielâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennessee Honey or Jim Beamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Red Stag, a black cherryâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;flavored bourbonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but according to Greene, these products miss the mark. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Once women really understand the beauty of [an aged spirit by itself ], theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not going to drink that. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think we need a stepping stone,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you spend the time to talk to women the way we have to men, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to be just fine with a single-malt Scotch.â&#x20AC;? Ultimately, Greene thinks that in 10 years, women will be drinking brown spirits with the frequency they drink wine. Marrerro and the other ladies of LUPEC are doing their best to make that happen. To counter the toll modern marketing has taken on our abilities to appreciate the good stuff, LUPEC chapters nationwide collect throwback cocktail recipes, create an atmosphere in which classy ladies can honor the spirits of their forebroads, and work on continuing the â&#x20AC;&#x153;150-year American tradition of dangerous women calling themselves ladies while they chip away at the patriarchy.â&#x20AC;? The organization also encourages the accumulation and use of vintage barware, because after all, half the fun of cocktails is taking care of guestsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a nod to womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mark on the barroom tradition. Over the past couple of years, LUPECâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been reintroducing whiskey, hosting a Macallan Scotch party at New York Fashion Week, a whiskey cocktail soiree for International Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day, and more. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There was a time when women drank a lot of whiskey, and it is great to see it coming back,â&#x20AC;? Marrerro says. Its return is partly credited to pioneering ladies behind the bar like Kalkofen, Marrerro, Greene, and Mix over the past decade. (Mix even created Speed Rack, an all-female cocktail-making speed competition with LU-

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Libation Goddess Audrey Saunders

Lynette Marrerro makinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; moves

Clover Club owner Julie Reiner

PEC to promote women in the industry and raise money for breast cancer research). But we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget the women who paved the way for them, like Julie Reiner, who owns the Clover Club where Mix works. Reiner got her start in the late â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s working for cocktail master and author Dale DeGroff, when mixology was still very much a manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world. She installed several beverage programs in Manhattan hot spots before opening the Flatiron Lounge in 2003 and later the Clover Club. Audrey Saunders, also known as the Libation Goddess, opened Manhattanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s renowned Pegu Club in 2005. And in an industry full of men, women are finally being recognized for their work: Charlotte Voisey, a mixologist with William Grant & Sons, was honored by the James Beard Foundation in 2009 for her cocktail creations in Londonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s male-dominated scene. If you want to follow the path these libation-loving ladies have paved, Marrerro, Mix, and Kalkofen agree there are a few crucial things that will help you show your spirits prowess at a bar. First, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t drink cheap alcohol that masks the true taste of an otherwise refined spirit, and please, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t put expensive tequila in margaritas, Mix says. Also, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t combine a good spirit with anything that comes out of a soda gun. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When people put Coke into good rum, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so depressing. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t put soda into alcohol. Or cranberry cocktail,â&#x20AC;? she says. Instead, women who step outside their comfort zone with a throwback to pre-Prohibition favorites like rye whiskey, bourbon, and gin, earn respect at the bar. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love it when a woman comes in and orders a classic cocktail. She knows what sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s doing,â&#x20AC;? Mix says. Greene agrees that less is more, especially when ordering a spirit thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been carefully crafted and aged in barrels (a number in the name or on the bottle usually indicates how long itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been aged). â&#x20AC;&#x153;If I saw a woman who went up to a bar and said, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I want a Glenfiddich 15 with a side of water,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d think she was a badass,â&#x20AC;? she says. These women have elevated the craft and proved that females can enjoy a fine whiskey neat just as much as the next guy. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re empowering babes everywhere to embrace, learn about, and consume spirits that were formerly only in the realm of men. And to enjoy each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s company while doing so. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more about community than anything else,â&#x20AC;? says Mix. â&#x20AC;&#x153;[Booze] is a way for us to come together.â&#x20AC;? "

the 5/B3E/G 1=19B/7: Feelinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; a little adventurous but not ready for heavy? Try Marrerroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Clara Bow, named after the Brooklyn-born 1920s silent-ďŹ lm star who was deďŹ ned by her moxie and energetic spirit.

1:/@/ 0=E MINT LEAVES Â˝ OZ. ST. GERMAIN ELDERFLOWER LIQUEUR Â˝ OZ. FRESHLY MADE GRENADINE* 1Â˝ OZ. BULLEIT BOURBON Âž OZ. LEMON JUICE

Pour ingredients into a shaker over ice, and shake with 5 or 6 mint leaves. Strain into a coupe glass, and garnish with a mint leaf. *TO MAKE GRENADINE, REDUCE 2 CUPS POMEGRANATE JUICE WITH 1 CUP RAW SUGAR. COOL. FEEL FREE TO ADD ZEST OF YOUR FAVORITE CITRUS TO THE FINAL BLEND.

// BUST / 59

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10/27/11 10:34:29 PM

60-61 Miss Piggy 72.indd 60

11/1/11 3:34:17 PM

From styling her golden locks to delivering karate chops, every move Miss Piggy makes is larger than life. Here, the iconic puppet star of The Muppets dishes on feminism, France, and her favorite frog BY CATIE LAZARUS

N 1974, A buxom puppet named Miss Lorelei Piggy made her television debut on Latin jazz maestro Herb Alpert’s ABC special Herb Alpert and the TJB. The next year, a bit part on visionary puppeteer Jim Henson’s new comedy The Muppet Show grew to become a star vehicle for Piggy, casting her as the lusty admirer of the program’s hero, Kermit the Frog. While Piggy’s love for Kermit wasn’t always requited, audiences fell madly in love with the plucky, passionate, and volatile character. From that moment on, Piggy has been a household name, selling more merchandise than any other Muppet, publishing numerous books, starring in multiple films, and marrying Kermit—in true Hollywood-diva style—three times. (He refutes whether these weddings were legally binding.) Currently promoting the November release of her latest feature film, The Muppets (co-starring human heavy-hitters Amy Adams and Jason Segel), Piggy is undoubtedly back—and better than ever.

shoes by Christian Louboutin, so it’s very likely I’ll be wearing Zac and Christian to the premiere. Also, that evening, apropos of Lady Gaga, I intend to be draped in Kermit the Frog.

People have debated whether you’re a feminist role model. Others consider you a gay icon. How do you feel about being seen in these roles? I consider myself a post-categorical celebrity, one who is all things to all of my fans.

Any plans for Fozzie’s tribute band to tour? You must mean the Moopets, the Muppet tribute group that Fozzie is with in the movie. I don’t believe they’ll be touring anytime soon. In fact, I don’t believe the Moopet impersonating moi will be walking anytime soon.

Humans sometimes refer to a misogynist as a sexist pig. Do pigs do the inverse? Moi is moi. Cognito ergo moi. I am therefore I am, or however that goes. As for the term “sexist pig,” I don’t care to comment. Personally, I don’t believe in name-calling.

Do you still Snackercise, or have you become more mindful about eating organic, local foods? Moi has always lived a healthy lifestyle. I have a personal trainer who works out for me seven days a week. And I eat only organic local foods…except when someone else is picking up the tab, which, frankly, is most of the time.

It’s hard to believe you’d need any perfecting, but you’ve admitted to having “had work done.” What have you had nipped, tucked, squeezed, flattened, or rounded? Oh, I appreciate your astute observation. It’s true that moi is a paradigm of pulchritude. However, I have always believed in the ancient diva credo, passed down to us by generations of ancient divas: “What’s the point of looking in the mirror if you can’t surprise yourself ?” As for exactly what has been nipped, tucked, squeezed, flattened, and/or rounded, I can only say: what hasn’t?

In the film, you play the plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris. What do the French consider a plus size? Like, a six? I believe in France, anything over zero is considered a plus size. Personally, I believe that style comes in all shapes and sizes. And the bigger you are, the more style you have. On the set of The Muppets, did you and Amy Adams become besties? Oh, yes, Amy and moi are absolute BFFs! We have so much in common—we’re young, beautiful, and devastatingly talented. Plus, did you know that Amy has been nominated three times for an Academy Award? She hasn’t yet won. I know exactly what that’s like—except for the being-nominated part.

Do you feel more comfortable around people who eat a vegan, halal, or kosher diet than those who are carnivores? I feel most comfortable around people who aren’t going to finish their dessert and don’t mind sharing. Just out of curiosity, where do you live? I have several places sprinkled around the globe—a chateau here, a pied-à-terre there, here a flat, there a villa, everywhere a beach house…. You know how it is: when you’re famous, the world is your home.

No pressure, but do you and Kermit ever think about starting a family? Kermie and moi have decided to keep that part of our lives private. Kermit is very circumspect, and moi is under a court injunction, so…no comment.

What’s next for you? To stay fresh and exciting, one must constantly surprise one’s public by doing something totally unexpected and thoroughly shocking. I want it to be a surprise…even to moi.

Whom will you be wearing to the premiere of your latest film, The Muppets? In the film, I wear a dress designed for moi by Zac Posen and

What advice do you have for females hoping to break into the biz? Believe in yourself. And stay out of my spotlight. "

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11/1/11 6:55:45 PM

Dum Struck Our fave rockers the Dum Dum Girls—Sandy, Bambi, Dee Dee, and Jules—are back in black with a new album and the season’s toughest threads PHOTOGRAPHED BY AMANDA MARSALIS // STYLED BY DJUNA BEL // HAIR & MAKEUP BY SANDY GANZER

62 / BUST // DEC/JAN

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10/27/11 9:43:44 PM

OPPOSITE PAGE: FROM LEFT: ON SANDY: TOP BY ELKIN, ELKINCOLLECTION.COM; LEATHER HOLSTER BY ZANA BAYNE, ZANABAYNE.COM; LEATHER SHORTS BY SOUTH, VERY.COM; TIGHTS BY AMERICAN APPAREL, AMERICANAPPAREL.NET; ACCESSORIES, STYLIST’S OWN; SHOES, SANDY’S OWN. ON BAMBI: DRESS BY PHI, STYLIST’S OWN; SHOES, BAMBI’S OWN. ON DEE DEE: BLOUSE BY DRIES VAN NOTEN, STYLIST’S OWN; LEATHER HOLSTER BY ZANA BAYNE; LEATHER HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS BY ELKIN; TIGHTS BY HOUSE OF HOLLAND FOR PRETTY POLLY, HOUSEOFHOLLAND.CO.UK; VINTAGE SHOES, DEE DEE’S OWN; BRACELET BY HERMES, HERMES.COM. ON JULES: TOP AND SHORTS BY ELKIN; JACKET BY AMANDA UPRICHARD, REVOLVECLOTHING.COM; BRACELETS, RING, AND HEELS, JULES’ OWN. THIS PAGE: ON DEE DEE: BLOUSE BY DRIES VAN NOTEN; LEATHER HOLSTER BY ZANA BAYNE; LEATHER HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS BY ELKIN; TIGHTS BY HOUSE OF HOLLAND FOR PRETTY POLLY; BRACELET BY HERMES; RINGS, DEE DEE’S OWN.

// BUST / 63

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ON BAMBI: PINK LEATHER JACKET, STYLIST’S OWN; VINTAGE BRA, STYLIST’S OWN; VINTAGE JEAN SHORTS BY JUDY ROSEN, STYLIST’S OWN.

64 / BUST // DEC/JAN

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10/27/11 9:46:19 PM

ON JULES: VINTAGE VERSACE LACE JACKET, STYLIST’S OWN; TIGHTS BY HOUSE OF HOLLAND FOR PRETTY POLLY; BRACELET AND HEELS, JULES’ OWN.

62-67 dumdumFash 72.indd 65

// BUST / 65

10/27/11 9:47:28 PM

ON DEE DEE: LACE DRESS BY AGAIN, KARMALOOP.COM; NECKLACE, DEE DEE’S OWN; TIGHTS BY HOUSE OF HOLLAND 66 BUSTPOLLY; // DEC/JAN FOR /PRETTY VINTAGE SHOES.

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10/27/11 9:49:14 PM

ON SANDY: BLACK DRESS BY ODILON, ODILONBYSTACEYCLARK.COM; NECKLACE, SANDY’S OWN.

// BUST / 67

62-67 dumdumFash 72.indd 67

10/27/11 9:51:20 PM

68-69 Calendar 72.indd 68

10/27/11 9:55:15 PM

68-69 Calendar 72.indd 69

10/27/11 9:56:05 PM

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70-74 Music 72.indd 70

10/31/11 10:48:34 AM

the bust guide

MUSIC

ATLAS SOUND Parallax (4AD) On Parallax, his third studio album as Atlas Sound, Bradford Cox continues to blur the once apparent sonic lines between his solo project and his work with Deerhunter. The album is an almost perfect showcase of his ever-evolving songwriting. “Te Amo” picks up where Cox left off on tracks like “Helicopter” and “He Would Have Laughed” from last year’s Deerhunter release Halcyon Digest. And just when the listener expects to hear another airy acoustic song jammed out into outer space, Cox leads us back down to the blue marble with the earthy, Iggy Pop–tinged “Praying Man.” Rabid fans will recognize the sweetly penned “Mona Lisa” from the Bedroom Databank sessions, minus the coughs and abrupt cuts found on the original takes. Here’s hoping that Cox stays on his current trajectory and the next Deerhunter or Atlas Sound album channels new tracks like the soulful “My Angel is Broken” and the intimate “Terra Incognita.” [PETER WENKER]

THE BLACK KEYS El Camino (Nonesuch) El Camino, the Danger Mouse–produced follow-up to the Black Keys’ Grammy– winning breakout Brothers, finds singer/ guitarist Dan Auerbach and drummer Patrick Carney confidently exploring their minimalist tendencies. Clocking in at 38 minutes, the 11 tracks display raw, concise songwriting from the Akron, OH, natives and recent Nashville transplants. Their seventh album also has an undeniable retro feel. Slabs of ’60s psychedelia are prominent, such as on the glittery “Gold on the Ceiling,” the closest thing to a Top 40 hit the Keys have ever recorded. The first half of “Little Black Submarines” displays some of Auerbach’s tortured folk before launching into raucous garage rock. With its synthesizers, tambourines, and what sounds like a vibraphone, “Stop Stop” is like something out of a British spy film, while “Sister” showcases the 10-year-old band’s bluesy maturity. “Don’t let it be over/Don’t let it be over,” the Keys plead on the album’s closing chorus. Something tells me it’s not. [DYLAN STABLEFORD]

florence and the machine CEREMONIALS (UNIVERSAL REPUBLIC) IT’S BEEN A long two years since Florence Welch, aka Florence and the Machine, released her debut album Lungs. Beloved by indie rock fans (and BUST ) since the beginning, it took a while for the world to embrace her intense, operatic pop songs. But after appearances at the VMAs, Grammys, and Met Ball—not to mention the conspicuous use of “Dog Days Are Over” in an Eat Pray Love trailer—it’s probably safe to assume that Welch is well on her way to superstardom. Her sophomore album Ceremonials is every bit as dramatic as her debut, but has a little more polish and cohesion. Opener “Only if for a Night” sets the majestic mood with booming piano, percussion, and choir-like backup vocals. Even when things get quiet on songs like “No Light, No Light,” the atmospheric organ eventually gives way to the loud, cathartic chorus that Welch does so well. Uplift and triumph are key themes on this album. First single “Shake it Off” is an energetic ode to dancing your pain away, while “Heartlines” is a tent revival of a track encouraging listeners to “Keep it up, I know you can/Just keep following the heartlines on your hand.” Ceremonials isn’t all perseverance and happiness, though. “Seven Devils” is a quieter, gothic number that would be at home alongside White Chalk–era PJ Harvey, and “What the Water Gave Me” is an eerie ballad that might be about drowning. Anyone who wore out their copy of Lungs (like I did) will be excited to spend their winter singing and dancing along to a new crop of glass-shattering, instantly classic Florence tunes. [ELIZA THOMPSON] // BUST / 71

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MUSIC

KATE BUSH 50 Words for Snow (Anti-) For her first collection of new material since 2005’s Aerial, the great Kate Bush returns with 50 Words for Snow, a seven-track concept album about winter's whitest. Has Kate completely lost her marbles? No: as always, she’s pushing the boundaries of popular music. This flurry of songs begins with “Snowflake,” written from the perspective of snow landing in various configurations as it falls. Except for the upbeat single “Wild Man,” the arrangements here are sparse, with introspective lyrics and freeform vocal delivery as on longer tracks “Lake Tahoe” and “Misty.” Sir Elton John’s finest moment in eons is a duet with Bush on “Snowed in at Wheeler Street.” The overall mood here is reminiscent of masterpieces by female singer/songwriter icons, like Laura Nyro’s New York Tendaberry and Joni Mitchell’s Hejira. After it’s been heard, digested, and dissected, 50 Words for Snow will one day be included among these artful, idiosyncratic classics. [MICHAEL LEVINE]

CASIOKIDS Aabenbaringen Over Aaskammen (Polyvinyl) Casiokids get fancy on their third album, upgrading their electro-analog trove with a live miniorchestra of glossy violins. Roughly translating to “the revelation over the mountain,” the title Aabenbaringen Over Aaskammen works as a metaphor for the band’s deeper exploration into the woods of rich production and experimentalism. The aesthetic starts with the titular opener, an ambient instrumental that has you feeling like you’re waking up on a forest floor, covered in moss and morning dew. But the Norwegian lo-fi enthusiasts are still all about a good old happy-drunk time. “Golden Years” and first single “Det Haster!” showcase their brand of fun, peculiar pop, and label mates Of Montreal even collaborate on a track. Confidently pushing into new musical terrain, Casiokids pull off a hazy, youthful sound without ever forgetting the root of their synth-pop

soul: the bubbly, unpretentious beats of the Casio keyboard. [SHEILA DICHOSO]

CAVEMAN CoCo Beware (Magic Man!/ORG) On their debut album CoCo Beware, New York–based quintet Caveman creates 10 tunes of atmospheric ghost folk. Yes, ghost folk. Think lush four-part harmonies draped over sparkling echoes of guitars, occasionally grounded by droning bass lines and booming tribal drums. Singer Matthew Iwanusa’s clear, folky vocals balance out Caveman’s hypnotic atmospherics, though. On “My Time,” he might remind listeners of Vampire Weekend frontman Ezra Koenig. The chamber synths and hazy bass on “Vampirer,” the album’s only instrumental track, could easily score an eerie, vintage horror ﬁlm. And the slow-driving, tomheavy “Easy Water”? Imagine listening to a boy-fronted Beach House in autumn—the feeling of nostalgia for the last days of summer mixed with a twinge of sadness and the clarity that comes with the chill. [JEN HAZEN]

CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG Stage Whisper (Because Music/ Elektra) Gainsbourg girls, rejoice! Mere months after dropping the Beck-produced Terrible Angels EP, our fave French chanteuse is back—with a double album, to boot. Comprised of an 11-track live set and a studio disc featuring cuts from Terrible Angels and the unreleased IRM sessions, Stage Whisper is Gainsbourg at a personal best. The live version of “IRM” vibrates with hypercolor swagger, while signature slow jams “Jamais” and “In the End” are more intimate than ever. And though you’ll want to replay her cover of Bob Dylan’s “Just Like a Woman” at least 25 times—seriously, Gainsbourg’s redwine whisper was destined for those melodies—don’t hold off on listening to the studio disc. The clattering synth-pop of “Terrible Angels” alone will make your heart skip a beat, but once you’ve wandered through the sweet sway of “All the Rain” and the ghostly “White Telephone,” you’ll be

totally gaga for the incomparable Miss G. You know, like you weren’t already. [MOLLIE WELLS]

IDLE WARSHIP Habits of the Heart (Blacksmith/Element 9/Fontana) When hip-hop heavyweight Talib Kweli and electro-R&B siren Res come together on Habits of the Heart (their first official album as Idle Warship), sounds from their respective worlds mesh and a healthy balance of pomp and circumstance ensues. Despite a sketchy Kweli line in opener “Enemy,” the introduction succeeds with soulful thuds and intense coos from Res. On retrofuturistic “The Floor,” Kweli’s rhyme scheme replicates slick ’80s party rap as Res enters like a ’90s house vixen on the hook. Jean Grae’s presence on “System Addict” is a thorough fill-in for onetime member Graph Nobel, with Greazy flipping syllables and using terms like “the fuzz.” The fact that no two songs on Habits of the Heart sound the same is a true testament to the hard work of two artists who have gone the distance in their respective genres and come together to create a brand new one. [KATHY IANDOLI]

LITTLE JACKIE Made for TV (Plush Moon) Made for TV marks the second album for Brooklyn-based twosome Little Jackie. Like most of my favorite bands these days, Little Jackie consists of two performers, one a lady and one a gentleman: veteran singer/songwriter Imani Coppola (no relation to Francis Ford) and programmer/producer Adam Pallin. At ﬁrst blush, Little Jackie innocently embodies a feel-good, ’60s Motown vibe, but the lyrics put quite a unique spin on the sunshiny music. Basically, Made for TV is about dating and making out, like the Sex and the City of new music. For example, the tune “Cock Block” is (delightfully) NA-S-T-Y. Merrily you’ll listen to the funloving jingle, blissfully unaware until the actual lyrics register: “I don’t give a damn if no one understands/Gonna love him as long as there’s dick in my hand.” Like me, you’ll do a double

take; say, “Wait, what?”; and rewind. Little Jackie is absolutely brilliant. [WHITNEY DWIRE]

LOS CAMPESINOS! Hello Sadness (Arts & Crafts) Two weeks before Los Campesinos! recorded Hello Sadness, frontman Gareth Campesinos! broke up with his girlfriend. So it’s somewhat surprising that their fourth full-length album is full of colorful, inexplicably sunny songs that run the stylistic gamut from pop to post-rock. “By Your Hand” opens with a Casio-tinged melody and hand-clapped chorus—not exactly what you’d associate with a fresh breakup. Indie rock pioneers Pavement have clearly informed the band’s sound, so much so that Gareth’s subtly detached vocals often make him sound like a Welsh Stephen Malkmus. “Songs About Your Girlfriend” is nervier but still veers into more poppy territory; think Los Campesinos! y Ted Leo. Even the semi-dark “Every Defeat a Divorce (Three Lions)” eventually resolves into an anthem replete with orchestral touches. The same goes for “To Tundra,” which puts a gauzy sheen on lost love. If Hello Sadness is truly a “breakup” album, it was worth the pain. Splitting up never sounded so fun. [DYLAN STABLEFORD]

DAVID LYNCH Crazy Clown Time (Sunday Best/Pias America) Did I read that correctly? Yes. David Lynch. Recorded an album. So one has to wonder: is this the 65-year-old director’s equivalent of my dad buying a BMW, or does he have something interesting to say? Lynch’s work always demands attention, and Crazy Clown Time is no exception. He describes the album as “modern blues,” a term that’s not far off the mark here. Lynch sings through vocal effects and ﬁddles with electronics in addition to playing guitar, and his trademark darkness colors every corner. Opener “Pinky’s Dream” eases you in with vocals from guest Karen O and the twangy roadhouse fever of his ﬁlm Wild at Heart, while the title track is an unhinged falsetto stomp perfect

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MUSIC for backwards midget dancing. With its menacing pulse and spits of cymbal, songs like “Speed Roadster” are logical extensions of the man’s aesthetic. Really, Crazy Clown Time acts as a soundtrack for Lynch’s entire career. [TOM FORGET]

MR. GNOME Madness in Miniature (El Marko) For their third LP Madness in Miniature, electronicacharged Cleveland-based duo Mr. Gnome (songstress/guitarist Nicole Barille and drummer/pianist Sam Meister) team up once again with Justin Smith, resident engineer at Josh Homme’s Pink Duck Studios in L.A. The result is a howling soundtrack ﬁt for the Brothers Grimm themselves.

First single “Bit of Tongue” starts off with the sweet lull of childlike harmonies, then spirals into a frenzied clash of drums and cymbals—think the ﬁerceness of the Kills meets the power of Karen O. “House of Circles” is a bewitching track full of ethereal, almost whispered vocals accompanied by syncopated drums; “We Sing Electric” is a funky, groove-worthy track backed by a pulsing beat. The magical Madness in Miniature proves that Mr. Gnome is not your garden-variety musical sensation. [LARA STREYLE]

MWAHAHA Mwahaha (Mwahaha Music) Mwahaha: it ain’t just maniacal laughter anymore. In fact, it’s a wild-haired four-man band from Oakland, CA.

{heavy rotation}

THE BLACK BELLES The Black Belles (Third Man) SPORTING WEDNESDAY ADDAMS couture and witch hats, the corpse-white darlings behind the Nashville-based, all-girl goth-garage band the Black Belles don’t need magic to captivate listeners. Packed with tales of gloom and organ-fueled melodies, their Jack White–produced, self-titled debut is dangerously delightful. “Leave You With a Letter” resembles a sinister nursery rhyme sung in a world of voodoo dolls and scorned lovers. Meanwhile, “Breathing Down My Neck” starts off as ’60s surf rock, only to be interrupted by thunderous drumming and singer Olivia Jean’s trembling howls. If you really want to rattle your bones, put dance-friendly “Wishing Well” on heavy rotation, even if it is about “mangled heart strings.” You’ve been warned: these ghoulish gals are out to take over your playlist. [STEPHANIE NOLASCO]

They’re like a mash-up of TV on the Radio and Ween with a touch of Dracula: half-psychedelic, half-creepy, and all unique. The band’s sound is a mix of dirty guitar and heavy drums wrapped in a threadbare blanket of analog synths and distorted tenor vocals. It all adds up to create a dark soundscape colored by bursts of the band’s ’60sinspired prog rock. The seriously earcatching and sexy “Poinsettia” blooms hard with drum machine, bass, and the wickedly intense lyrics, “So tell me what you’re wanting/Are you making love to time?” Tracks like “Rivers and Their Teeth” and “Bathynomus Gigantes!” are rather lengthy jam sessions that still have a polished quality. In the middle of the chaotic noise there are unexpected moments of poignancy that make you go, “Hmm, I never thought about it that way, Mwahaha.” [WHITNEY DWIRE]

NIKI AND THE DOVE The Drummer (Sub Pop) Fans of angular electronica, lady vocalists, and witchy vibes will rejoice upon hearing Niki and the Dove’s new EP The Drummer, a digital-only seven-song collection by the Swedish duo. Singer Malin Dahlström’s vocals bring Kate Bush to mind, but with the little-girl whimsy toned down considerably. The EP offers plenty of eerie drama, whether Dahlström is being mystical and mysterious (as on “Manon”) or an electro-pop diva, as on the title track. There’s no traditional melodic structure here, and Niki and the Dove are full of surprises—the EP lapses into techno beats and ghostly sounding choruses in equal measure. These songs have a sparse feel, and occasionally dabble in Afro-beat-inspired production, particularly on the track “Mother Protect.” If you keep your iPod stocked with Fever Ray, Little Boots, and Ladyhawke, The Drummer is a must-have artful soundtrack to your late-winter nights. [MOLLY SIMMS]

SHE & HIM A Very She & Him Christmas (Merge) We’ve been pining for more Zooey Deschanel–sung holiday jams ever since the “Baby, It’s

Cold Outside” scene in Elf, so the latest from She & Him deﬁnitely doesn’t disappoint. Inspired by well-worn classics from Vince Guaraldi, Elvis Presley, and the Beach Boys, A Very She & Him Christmas manages to feel both fresh and nostalgic without ever leaning too far in either direction. Stripped-down tracks like “The Christmas Waltz” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” highlight Deschanel’s honeysweet voice and M. Ward’s gentle guitar, while “Sleigh Ride” rivals the Carpenters’ 1978 version for the honor of “most totally precious.” The beloved “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” even makes an appearance here—but instead of singing it a cappella (and, you know, in a bathroom with Will Ferrell), the duo croons sweetly over a jaunty Merle Haggard beat. Grab this album, stat: it sets the perfect ﬁre-lit mood for a cozy Christmas Eve. [MOLLIE WELLS]

SIGUR RÓS Inni (XL) For most bands, the release of a live album is akin to a sitcom jumping the shark—a surefire signal that a formerly great group has run out of ideas. But for Sigur Rós, it’s a welcome addition to their catalog. The nearly two-hour set was recorded at London’s Alexandra Palace in 2008 and filmed for DVD in stunning black-and-white—fitting for Sigur Rós’ minimalist post-rock. Many songs, like opener “Svefn-gEnglar,” materialize slowly, and arrangements are lush, orchestral, emotional, and clearly defined. It may be live, but it’s still music for late-night introspection. The album features 15 tracks taken from all five of the quartet’s albums, and it’s amazing how much studio prowess Sigur Rós is able to replicate live. “Ný Batterí” is a sonic assault not unlike something from My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless—an album from which the group borrows heavily. Sigur Rós is certainly experimental, but on Inni, they’re never too far out. [DYLAN STABLEFORD]

SUMMER CAMP Welcome to Condale (Moshi Moshi) British duo Jeremy Warmsley and // BUST / 73

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Elizabeth Sankey never intended to gain fame or fortune as Summer Camp. After posting their songs online anonymously, they were surprised when their music garnered a riveted following. Their joy in singing for the sake of singing is present all over the synth-heavy jams on Welcome to Condale. Opener “Better Off Without You”—in which Sankey rather happily tells off a former paramour—combines fuzzy, summery Beach Boys–ﬂavored melodies with a tinge of ’80s new wave. The particularly retro “1988” recalls John Hughes soundtracks, with both Sankey and Warmsley singing the chorus over a tune reminiscent of Modern English. On “Nobody Knows You,” the band combines discordant techno melodies and jaded lyrics for a melancholy break from the sunshine. Overall, Welcome to Condale is a catchy collection of infectiously energetic pop songs that hint at just enough darkness to entice those who favor a little more angst in their music. [ADRIENNE URBANSKI]

THEE OH SEES Carrion Crawler/The Dream (In the Red) For their second album this year (and 13th overall if you count EPs), San Francisco’s Thee Oh Sees break away from their seemingly endless but somewhat limited repertoire of lo-ﬁ arty garage rock and ﬁnally fuzz it out and turn it up. Like their contemporary colleagues Disappears, the band leans more toward krautrock that rocks on this record, and it makes Carrion Crawler/ The Dream their best output since 2008’s The Master’s Bedroom is Worth Spending a Night In. Highlights include the droningly riff-tastic “Contraption/Soul Desert” and the Dead Meadow-ish “Crack in Your Eye,” during which keyboardist Brigid Dawson gets all psychedelic on her electric ivories while John Dwyer treats us to British metal vocal stylings à la Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats. Whatever you decide to compare it to, it’s safe to say that it will be 1) awesome and 2) loud. [PETER WENKER]

VARIOUS ARTISTS Fac. Dance: Factory Records 12" Mixes & Rarities 1980-1987 (Strut) Legendary British label Factory Records is perhaps best known for its association with beloved acts like Joy Division and New Order. But Fac. Dance proves that they weren’t the only bands busting a groove in Manchester. Compiled with help from Peter Saville (who designed many iconic record sleeves for the label), the two-disc set is a comprehensive collection of Factory’s more danceworthy singles and rarities. Diehards will love the eight-minute mix of New Order’s “Confusion,” while newbies won’t be able to deny that Abecedarians’ triumphant “Smiling Monarchs” is new wave at its ﬁnest. A Certain Ratio’s “Wild Party” is a pulsing, bass-heavy jam that could soundtrack any event similar to its title. It’s easy to overlook mellower tunes from the Durutti Column and Swamp Children nestled in among all these upbeat deep cuts, but remember: every good party needs a comedown playlist. [ELIZA THOMPSON]

TOM WAITS Bad as Me (Anti-) Tom Waits’ pipes have always sounded old as hell. Now on his 20th album, they actually are. At 61, the gravelvoiced artist finally sounds his age, and on Bad as Me, he acknowledges it. Sometimes it’s defiant, but other times it’s tender and astonishingly personal for the storyteller. In “Last Leaf,” Waits and Keith Richards croon with heavy hearts, “I’m the last leaf on the tree.” That track follows “Satisfied,” where a cocky Waits calls out Richards and “Mr. Jagger,” boasting that he— unlike them, perhaps—will die having found satisfaction. Ballads aside, Waits’ typical swaggering badassery is omnipresent. In the title track, he warbles, “You’re the same kinda bad as me” like a deranged clown while a brass section honks, a guitar plucks a haunting melody, and rolling drums hold it all together. It’s bluesy, haunting, and a little crazy. More important, it’s pure Tom Waits in the most aggressive, perfect way possible. [ERIN GRIFFITH]

EVENT PICS BUST MAGAZINE CRAFTACULAR AT WORLD MAKER FAIRE September 17 + 18, Queens, NY Loop of the Loom gave handson demos of Japanese weaving

Attendees crafted terrariums at The BUST DIY Guide to Life Lab

BUST’s Debbie Stoller made microwave mozzarella cheese

Botodesigns’ robot-inspired products were a hit

Sideshow Soap Co. sold unique bath and body products

It was a beautiful weekend at our only outdoor BUST Magazine Craftacular

WORLD MAKER FAIRE: The World’s Largest DIY Festival returned to New York for the second year, and the BUST Magazine Craftacular was there with more than 50 vendors to represent the best in handmade crafts. Thousands of shoppers stopped by our outdoor shopping village and The BUST DIY

PHOTOS: KIM KU AND NIKKI HUNG

We were neighbors with a ﬁrebreathing dragon (only at World Maker Faire!)

Guide to Life Lab gave free demonstrations of projects from The BUST DIY Guide to Life book. Attendees learned how to make terrariums, bath bombs, and more! Visit bust.com for full event coverage, including photo galleries and information on upcoming BUST Magazine Craftaculars.

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BOOKS

LITPICK

BAD REPUTATION: The Unauthorized Biography of Joan Jett BY DAVE THOMPSON (BACKBEAT BOOKS) I HAVE THE Runaways on vinyl, saw Joan Jett at CBGB, and even gave a character in one of my books her (pseudo) last name. But there’s somebody else who apparently loves Jett as much as I do, and he knows a helluva lot more about her. Along with books on everyone from Kurt Cobain to George Clinton, Dave Thompson is the author of Bad Reputation, The Unauthorized Biography of Joan Jett. I’m usually skeptical of unauthorized bios because you never know where the writer is coming from, but in Thompson’s case, it’s from a solid knowledge not only of Jett, but of rock ’n’ roll. Thompson follows the scene from the glam ’70s in L.A. to punk at CBGB and riot grrrl in the damp Northwest—and he shadows Jett’s rollercoaster career throughout it all. Whether she’s starting one of the world’s ﬁrst all-girl rock bands with the notorious Kim Fowley, selling albums out of the trunk of her car with Kenny Laguna, or ﬁnally tasting success with her own Blackheart Records label and The Runaways movie, I found this book to be a thoughtful character study based on well-researched facts. And the facts don’t lie. Jett has been scoffed at, spit on, and sexualized, but she has also worked her ass off, fought the man, and stayed true to her music and fans. Her no-bullshit business savvy also helped pioneer the way for future generations of girls with guitars. We’ll have to wait until April to see if she’s inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but in the meantime, W.W.J.J.D.? She’d probably read this book. [MICHELLE KEHM]

BOUNDARIES By Elizabeth Nunez (Akashic Books) Anna Sinclair, the protagonist of Elizabeth Nunez’s eighth novel, can’t ﬁgure out where she belongs. The Caribbean immigrant who calls New York home works for a small publishing imprint that focuses on African-American writers. Anna is looking for the author who could write the next great American novel. Anna’s boss on the other hand is more interested in making money, using sexy covers instead of good writing to entice readers. At work Anna is told she’s not American enough to understand the publishing house’s demographic, but at home, her parents accuse her of being too Americanized. She doesn’t cook curry; she no longer has the scheduled afternoon tea

that her parents hold so dear. But when Anna’s mom is diagnosed with breast cancer and must move to New York to live with her, Anna wonders if she really can toe the line between being both American and Caribbean. In Nunez’s previous novel, Anna In-Between, she introduces us to the Sinclair family, but with Boundaries she focuses on Anna. Though Boundaries could be considered a sequel, Nunez takes one woman’s identity struggle and makes it universal, allowing the novel to stand on its own. [SHANNON CARLIN]

COOL, CALM & CONTENTIOUS By Merrill Markoe (Villard Books) In the ’80s, Merrill Markoe wrote for Late Night with David Letterman (you can thank her

for “Stupid Pet Tricks” and “Viewer Mail”), and in Cool, Calm & Contentious she uses that dry-asa-bone humor to discuss relationships, family, writing, camping, and dogs. Her wit clearly allows her to cope with life’s troubles and turn what would normally be a run-of-the-mill memoir on dating, a difficult mother, and a demanding career into a hilarious and poignant breeze. In “The Place, the Food, Everything Awful,” her overbearing mother is, on the surface, a mean-spirited monster, but it’s slowly revealed that she’s really just a woman with an outsized intellect in a life-long search for a captive audience. Markoe’s long (and complicated) personal and professional relationship with Letterman is condensed into the short “Bobby,” written entirely in second person. Lessons gleaned from other complex relationships are turned into a handy and hysterical step-by-step guide in “How

to Spot an Asshole” and a crash course in engaging with narcissists in “But Enough About Me: Narcissism for Echoes.” Professional and personal disappointments are not the end of the world for her, it seems, but rather potential fodder for comedy. By not taking herself too seriously, nothing in Markoe’s life can’t be turned into a charming anecdote; as you read Cool in one sitting (trust me), you’ll be glad that’s the case. [MOLLY LABELL]

ELF GIRL: A Memoir By Rev Jen (Gallery Books) I devoured the ﬁrst 94 pages of N.Y.C. indie icon and cult TV star Rev Jen’s addictively entertaining memoir before bedtime, then fell asleep and dreamed I was a member of an underground art star collective whose // BUST / 75

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illicit dwelling was being busted by the cops. (Wondering how to be an art star? Read the “Thirteen Steps” on page 81. “Step 10: Learn to deal with rejection. Rejection is no big deal. It’s simply a person’s deeming worthless everything into which you’ve poured your mind, heart, and soul. Accept that he or she must be a bad person.”) While this charming autobiography may not have that exact effect on your subconscious, it’ll definitely make you admire the playfulness, spunk, and pizzazz of the elf-ear-wearing spoken-word artist who hosts weekly “Anti-Slam” poetry nights in Manhattan, and who once organized the world’s longest conga line in Times Square to protest Giuliani’s enforcement of archaic N.Y.C. rules against dancing in public. By the time I finished reading it, I could think of at least five people I couldn’t wait to recommend it to. Whether Rev Jen is describing psychotic roommate scenarios, narrating in humorous detail a mindblowing acid trip amidst a sea of country-western fans, or recounting the real-life nightmare of enduring a ruptured appendix without health insurance, you can’t help falling in love with her quirky, original, irresistibly hilarious voice. More than a memoir, Elf Girl is an inspiring, heartfelt hymn to creativity and the necessity of being true to oneself. [RENATE ROBERTSON]

AN EMERGENCY IN SLOW MOTION: The Inner Life of Diane Arbus By William Todd Schultz (Bloomsbury USA) William Todd Schultz’s An Emergency in Slow Motion is a study— rather than a biography—of the great photographer who stupeﬁed the world with her spine-tingling work and then took her own life in 1971. The title is from a Diane Arbus quote describing a dream she once had about attending a party aboard a burning, sinking ship, which unfortunately proves a good metaphor for this work.

Schultz sets out to break down the psychology of Diane Arbus, and it’s possible that he does have some good thoughts on the matter, but a couple of things stand in his way. The ﬁrst is obvious: here’s a book about a photographer in which the writer cites many speciﬁc images, yet there’s not one picture betwixt its pages, save a snapshot of Arbus shooting. My second complaint is that the book is a jumbled mess and I couldn’t understand what the fuck Schultz was saying half the time. “Arbus means freaks. Arbus means sex. Arbus means self, identical opposites like the New Jersey twins. But most of all, Arbus means secrets,” Shultz writes, and he takes off ranting on these themes without doing much to explain them or their relevance to Arbus’ work. Perhaps a more appropriate title would have been Annoying the Reader in Slow Motion. [WHITNEY DWIRE]

THE FASTER I WALK, THE SMALLER I AM By Kjersti A. Skomsvold, translated by Kerri Pierce (Dalkey Archive Press) When your entire life centers around another person, how do you find a sense of self once that person is gone? This question is at the heart of this Norwegian novel, in which the elderly protagonist, Mathea, struggles to find a life for herself after the death of her husband. Having lived in his shadow since childhood, Mathea is not equipped to be alone, but she sets out to find both social interaction and meaning in what remains of her life. Writer Kjersti A. Skomsvold, who won the 2009 Tarjei Vesaas First Book Prize for this work, shows great talent in her poetic writing, successfully framing such mundane events as a trip to the grocery store as pivotal. Although the story begins as humorous— Mathea peeks out of her curtains at her neighbors, wondering if she is too elderly to join them—Mathea’s inability to connect with the outer

AMBER TAMBLYN’S POETRY CORNER I OPENED JENNIFER L. Knox’s Drunk by Noon (Bloof Books) and flipped to a random poem titled “I Am a Girl.” “With a very big dick” is the opening line, and as I continued to read I soon understood the intoxicating ruckus I was getting myself into. Knox describes her ladytrunk as the innards of a geode, “The walls wink and beep tiny lights./You can’t fuck it unless you’re made/of numbers.” She ends with, “I’m telling you this because/I must be ready for the crow with God/knows what behind the big pussy/strapped to its face.” If dirty language was a whiskey bottle and a tornado of emotions downed it in one sitting, Drunk by Noon would be its glorious puke. Another standout poem, “Music to Watch Girls By in the Mysterious Perfect Infinitive” ends with a fantastic observational question: “How could I have known true love/ would come, briefly, on one leg, after 56 Jello shots/ in an upstate fraternity basement listening to Ted Nugent’s ‘Wango Tango,’/ so drunk I’d just fucked a pile of phonebooks?” Knox’s collection of profoundly amusing and bold poems will make you want to drunk dial this book over and over again, with no regrets. [AMBER TAMBLYN]

world quickly becomes saddening; even at a senior citizen’s community center, she cannot come out of her shell. Mathea reﬂects back on her past, and we see that her husband, a sometimes cold man who believed any situation in life could be explained by a mathematical equation, was not worthy of her tireless affection. As Mathea’s story progresses, it becomes increasingly painful to read. In the end, however, the novel serves as a cautionary tale to make the most of your life before it is too late. [ADRIENNE URBANSKI]

FICTION RUINED MY FAMILY: A Memoir By Jeanne Darst (Riverhead) Genetics bequeathed to Jeanne Darst a penchant for both booze and books, and much of her memoir is occupied with deciding which is the worse gift. The story starts in

1976, when her father moves his wife and four daughters from St. Louis to an allegedly tranquil farm in Amagansett, Long Island, in order to finish his book. But the farm turns out to have “more New Yorker writers on it than cows or chickens,” which translates to less writing and more cocktail drinking. The still-incomplete novel sets off a ping-pong childhood between her stay-at-home dad and a “stay-in-bed” depressive mother as Darst struggles with her own drinking and lack of general life direction. The Glass Castle this is not, however, as even the darkest moments come with hefty doses of humor. Most of the levity stems from Darst’s appealing voice, which is part primness (her sister was a multi-tasker “back when it was called rudeness”) and part unvarnished bluntness (“If writers are so goddamn fascinating, why do they monopolize conversations and talk about their ‘projects’ until you’re about ready to throw your sandwich at their heads?”). For

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Darst, the journey from alcoholic to author is a bumpy one: littered with the usual host of lost jobs and failed relationships as well as oddly imaginative sisterly games (“You’re Patty Hearst, and we’re the S.L.A.”) and a nasty case of crabs. The resulting cocktail is a mix that virtually defines “tragicomic” and possesses a freshness that floats this to the top of a sea of addiction memoirs. [IRIS BLASI]

HAPPY ACCIDENTS By Jane Lynch (Voice/Hyperion) An actress with razor-tipped charm, comedic genius Jane Lynch dominates a niche of strong, almost psychotically conﬁdent characters (many written originally for men) fearlessly mining the dark side of her roles. As good-humoredly revealed in Happy Accidents, this uncanny ease was in fact a hard won victory over crippling anxiety and lack of selfworth, not to mention alcoholism and an intense fear of intimacy. Born into a wisecracking, wholesome Midwestern family, Lynch was a middle child with a craving for attention mixed with a profound sense of outsider-ness. This book’s premise, that her good fortune was an accident, seems disingenuous, given her evident drive and talent, but she’s bent on inspiring others to drop their fear and follow their joy. Partly she does this by confessing her own worst behaviors in those early days: she drank Miller Lite tallboys for breakfast, alienated colleagues with arrogant drama-queen behavior, and sabotaged relationships early and often. Because she pokes fun at herself for these things, they become subtle life lessons in humility and grace. Lynch calls herself a diva, but she does so with the amused compassion of a friend who, in finally accepting herself, has gained love and happiness, and wants readers to find their own. So take her advice—go easy on yourself, and put down that tallboy. [ FRAN WILLING]

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HOW TO DIE IN PARIS: A Memoir By Naturi Thomas (Seal Press) In her darkest hour, Naturi Thomas decides to kill herself—but only after seeing Paris. On her last dime she makes it there, but, unable to scrape together enough dough to overdose, ﬁnding it impossible to jump off the Eiffel Tower, and simply failing to freeze to death, she becomes a homeless youth instead. In Paris, Thomas falls into the arms of sometimes-generous, sometimes-manipulative men willing to put her up for a night or more; and in her memory she delves into a psychological exploration of her childhood in New Jersey. Using simple, yet poetic language (“leaves and branches ringed-around-the-rosy in the wind”), she describes her mother’s manipulative and controlling tendencies with a tenderness that contextualizes the horrors of her abuse, including the moment when her mother kicked her out of the house at 16 in a massive, physical confrontation. Despite the monstrosities of her young trauma, the clarity of Thomas’ words indicates an acceptance and understanding of self that few of us come to acquire in our lifetime. Never dull, trite, or overwritten, this is a gripping and honest tale of a young woman who pulls herself off the streets through introspection, hope, and the kindness of strangers. Thomas is a strong writer with an even stronger spirit. [ERICA VARLESE]

I KILLED SCHEHERAZADE: Confessions of an Angry Arab Woman By Joumana Haddad (Lawrence Hill Books) In 2008, Joumana Haddad launched the Arab world’s ﬁrst erotic cultural magazine, JASAD (Body), which made international headlines and caused her to be labeled “the Car-

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rie Bradshaw of Beirut.” When a foreign journalist asked about her “uncommon” decision to publish the magazine, Haddad found herself irritated, especially when the journalist noted “most of us in the West are not familiar with the possibility of liberated Arab women like you existing.” Later, Haddad wondered why she had reacted so strongly to the journalist’s statement. In an attempt to understand her irritation, she began writing what eventually evolved into I Killed Scheherazade, a ﬁery book on women in the Middle East. Part memoir, part manifesto, the book derives its title from the victim turned heroine of The Arabian Nights, whose story, Haddad argues, sends the message that for women to survive requires “pleasing the man, whether by a story, or a nice meal, or a pair of silicone tits, or a good fuck.” Through essays and poems, Haddad’s book criticizes the West’s portrayal of Arab women as helpless while also denouncing the image projected by many Middle Eastern women themselves. “The oppression and hardship a woman faces are sometimes her own responsibility as well, because she surrenders and is content merely to complain about it,” Haddad writes. Entertaining and thought-provoking, her book calls on women to accept and celebrate themselves. [ANTONIA BLAIR]

give it its uniquely fresh scent) that made it so special. It wasn’t necessarily its recognizable packaging and sophisticated fan base (including Marilyn Monroe) either. Rather, as Coco Chanel once said, “The most human thing is smell,” and it is what No. 5 makes us feel that fuels our fascination with it— and made it the stuff of legends. Mazzeo tackles many of these myths, from tales of sabotage attempts by competitors and unconventional marketing strategies to the complications that arose when Coco Chanel gave up the rights to her masterpiece and then tried to win them back. And as smell and memory are closely linked, so too was No. 5 connected to Coco’s personal history, inspired by the clean austerity of the orphanage where she spent her childhood as well as the sensual jasmine worn by the grandes horizontales (prostitutes) she knew in her nights as a cabaret singer. Mazzeo is charged with the difﬁcult task of explaining in words what No. 5 evokes in scent, and she does a ﬁne job; The Secret of Chanel No. 5 will have you rushing to the perfume counter to get a whiff of what she’s talking about. [BRIDGETTE MILLER]

THE SECRET OF CHANEL NO. 5: The Intimate History of the World’s Most Famous Perfume By Tilar J. Mazzeo (Harper)

Theodora is one of history’s most fascinating women. Born into the dregs of Roman society, she made her way as a prostitute, dancer, actress, and mistress before becoming empress and an Orthodox saint. Stella Duffy has imagined the full scope of such a life, from Theodora’s povertystricken childhood to her reign in the palace. Throughout the book, Theodora inhabits fascinating cities like Constantinople and Alexandria; takes arduous journeys by land and by sea; encounters eunuchs and dwarves, governors and mystics. She meets proud and rebellious women, makes love to

What makes a perfume iconic? The nose knows, and so does Tilar J. Mazzeo. In The Secret of Chanel No.5, Mazzeo explores the science and sociology of perfumery—how fragrances are made and evolve, and what connotations certain scents have had historically for the women who wear them. She asserts that it wasn’t just Chanel No. 5’s innovative dose of aldehydes (which

THEODORA: Actress, Empress, Whore: A Novel By Stella Duffy (Penguin)

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them, and then moves on. She remakes herself again and again— against impossible odds—in what should be a deeply intimate story. And yet there is nothing intimate, or particularly exciting, in this novel. Often dry and expository, the book is ﬁlled with sex, but it isn’t sexy. The stray “fucks” and “cunts” littered throughout the book serve to shock more than to titillate, and in the end, they lose their shock value as well. The biggest problem, however, is that Duffy has sketched Theodora as callous and tough, and this makes it hard to care about her journey. Duffy does go into fascinating, concrete detail about the era—the architecture and food, the political hierarchies and the religious landscape of the Byzantine Empire—making this a good read for someone interested in fiction about the ancient world, but far less compelling as a novel about an actual woman. [LAUREL SNYDER]

UNDERGROUND TIME: A Novel By Delphine de Vigan (Bloomsbury USA) Mathilde is a deeply depressed woman who is raising her small children alone, all the while enduring emotional abuse from her once-thoughtful boss. Thibault is an injured paramedic who can’t get over a woman who won’t love him. Told over the course of a single day, Delphine de Vigan’s novel weaves together these two Parisian lives. What do they have to do with each other? Will the two meet? How is this day, May 20th, signiﬁcant? Though you spend a large percentage of the book waiting for these questions to be addressed, de Vigan keeps you going with lovely language. On the subway, where Mathilde spends much of her time, she notices of her fellow travelers, “nearly every evening side by side they wait for trains with absurd names in this giant rush of air. And yet this doesn’t bring them together, doesn’t cre-

ate any link.” All day long she experiences train delays and disruptions, while Thibault, elsewhere, is stuck in an abyss of lost love, remembering the time he spent with his girlfriend. “It seemed that he and this woman shared the same kind of exhaustion,” writes de Vigan, “it seemed that he and this woman had lots of things in common.” The book isn’t just about these two strangers and what they have in common, it is about what all of us have in common, strangers or not. [COURTNAY GLATTER]

A YEAR STRAIGHT: Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Lesbian Beauty Queen By Elena Azzoni (Seal Press) A Year Straight is the real-life story of Elena Azzoni, a beautiful femme living in the lesbian playground of Park Slope, Brooklyn. Very much a part of the gay community in her ‘hood—she has a tight circle of friends as well as a crown (Miss Lez 2007)—she nonetheless finds herself, one day in yoga class, getting the warm fuzzies for her teacher: the dreamy, toned Dante. A man. Azzoni’s conversational writing catches you in the first few paragraphs, and when she goes into detail about how she blew her chances with Dante by stalking him in health food stores, and then attempted to get over her obsession with a string of one-night stands, you feel like a friend on the other end of a phone call. Her story may irk gay readers, seeing as she gets a taste of heterosexual living and never looks back (maybe this should have been called Forever Straight?). As a gay lady myself, I was curious to read about what it would be like to moonlight on the flip-side of sexuality. I wasn’t expecting the girl to get the guy in the end, but seeing as Azzoni fell in love with a person, and not a gender, at the end of her sexual journey, it would seem hypocritical to complain. [KELLY MCCLURE]

world wide thread THREE NEW BOOKS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE WILL HELP YOU GET YOUR STITCH ON NO BUDGET FOR traveling this holiday season? Let your needles do the walking. The following stitchery books originate from various points on the planet to bring their own brand of craftiness to your doorstep. First is the hotly anticipated book from the brains behind the fashionable sewing pattern line, Colette. In THE COLETTE SEWING HANDBOOK (Krause), Portland, OR-based designer Sarai Mitnick takes you through all the steps necessary to sew clothing from a pattern—from simple hand stitching to tougher stuff, such as sewing in darts, installing a zipper, and setting in sleeves. The lessons are organized around ﬁve different sewing projects—for things you’ll actually want to wear!— with each project teaching you a variety of techniques. While the patterns (printed on real tissue paper, thank Maude) and instructions are fantastic, Mitnick’s explanation of how to alter a pattern for a better ﬁt is so thorough, clear, and friendly, that it alone is worth the price of the book. Don’t miss this one. Another book of cute sewing projects— for yourself, your kids, your dude, or your home—comes to us from Australia’s Pip Lincolne. In SEW LA TEA DO: 25 Favourite Things to Sew (Hardie Grant Books), Lincolne presents a number of simple but adorable patterns that don’t require much more sewing skill than the ability to stitch up a seam (preferably on a sewing machine). Although some of these might even be a bit too simple—there are no zippers or buttons here; drawstrings hold up a pair of pants and a dress is loose enough to go on over your head—if you’re a beginning sewer looking for some easy-peasy, supercute projects to keep you busy this winter, Lincolne’s book is a great choice. From Paris comes SWEAT SHOP PARIS: Lessons from a Sewing Café by Martena Duss and Sissi Holleis (Andrews McMeel), and I have to admit, before I saw this book I was unaware that the French were brewing up their own alterna-crafts movement. Filled with projects contributed by the customers of what looks to be a very hip space where folks can rent sewing equipment, take knitting classes, and drink coffee, the book is as much a collection of craft projects as it is an eye-opener about the DIY movement à la Paris. While some of the projects here may seem a bit been there, done that—a simple tote bag, for instance—others are off-the-hook nutty and/or inventive. From the crazy balaclava with knit-in mustache to the stylish cape made from a blanket to the pair of overalls with lace insets, there’s something here for everyone. [DEBBIE STOLLER]

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BOOKS [INTERVIEW]

Cary Grant was the only one who did it to me. I just got tonguetied around him. I thought, “I’ve got to get out of here.” He was the only movie star who was a movie star. In the book, you describe the morning in 2005 when you found that your friend Greg had died of an Oxycontin overdose in your bed while you slept beside him. But then you reveal you subsequently became addicted to Oxy yourself. How much of that was guilt-driven and how much do you think was you wanting to put yourself in Greg’s shoes? I’m a drug addict. So, I’m sure everything was an element, but really, I’ve just always been a drug addict. I didn’t want to think about anything. But that’s not going to get rid of anything. What’s your relationship with regret? I regret things. I mean, I think it’s a waste of time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t do it. It’s very similar to self-pity, and I have someone in my family who really took all the charm and romance out of self-pity. So, I don’t like either one. But, I think it’s clear what I regret. I regret any time on earth that I made more difﬁcult for my daughter. One of the hallmarks of your writing style is how self-aware you are; you realize things about yourself before anyone else has the chance to realize them about you. It’s control. I want to get at it ﬁrst, before they do.

CARRIE FISHER’S NEW MEMOIR REVEALS THE LATEST CHAPTER IN A TUMULTUOUS PUBLIC LIFE SHE PLAYED PRINCESS Leia in Star Wars, she’s the daughter of Hollywood legends Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, and she became a notoriously public ﬁgure after writing the thinly veiled tell-all novel Postcards from the Edge and the totally unveiled memoir Wishful Drinking. But somehow, in her new nonﬁction book, Shockaholic, 55-year-old Carrie Fisher is able to deliver a sage, self-deprecating tour of addiction, bipolar disorder, and her experiences with ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy), in a way that leaves readers feeling like she’s your funny, cynical, down-to-earth BFF. From her home in L.A., Fisher spoke to me about regret, double standards for women, and how Cary Grant was the only real movie star. You introduce your book by explaining that ECT causes memory loss. So how does somebody without a great memory write a memoir? I have a bad memory and I probably would anyway. Age-wise, drug-wise…there’s a million reasons why I would have a bad memory. But I did write books all the way along. They were “fact-ion,” but there’s stuff in there that is true. I wanted to ask about that special quality celebrities have that you call “The Shine”—and how you’re immune to their charisma because you grew up around it. Are there any people you still get dazzled by?

It happens with women more than anyone else. Definitely! She’s fat! Look at the lines on her! Look at her double chin! Look at her neck! But then we look into the mirror and we do it to ourselves too. Your closing chapter about your dad and what you’ve learned from his loss is really moving. Was it easier to fictionalize a story about your mom—as you did in Postcards from the Edge—than it was to write nonfiction about your dad? It’s easier to write fiction because of the intimacy thing. There’s nothing to hide behind if you’re writing nonfiction. I can write fiction and have it all be nonfiction, but if I’m uncomfortable with it, then I can tell you it’s not true. It was more daunting because it’s nonfiction. I was so self-conscious. It doesn’t get any easier putting stuff out there? No. It’s easy to put stuff out there about me. If it’s me, I don’t care. But anytime it affects someone else, that makes me nervous. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or betray anyone’s trust. That’s always difficult. But then, everyone [you’re writing about] dies! Well, thank God you’re still here. [laughs] So far, yes I am. [JULIE KLAUSNER]

PHOTO: COURTESY OF MICHAEL LAMONT/SIMON & SCHUSTER

shock and awe

Talk to me about the “invisible contract.” The one in which you say pop culture requires you to look the same as you did when you were in that Star Wars metal bikini 28 years ago. I had the metal bikini, but once you get seen looking attractive or young that’s it. Forever after that, people are going to say, “Oh my God, she looks awful.” Society is conditioned that way. I do it too! We’re all judging each other, especially physically.

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the guide Kim Wayans and Adepero Oduye

Zana Marjanovic

IN THE LAND OF BLOOD AND HONEY Written and directed by Angelina Jolie (FilmDistrict)

PARIAH

PHOTOS COURTESY OF: FOCUS FEATURES; FILMDISTRICT AND GK FILMS; MAGNOLIA PICTURES

Written and directed by Dee Rees (Focus Features) This year, the Sundance Film Festival welcomed the refreshingly honest feature debut of Spike Lee’s latest protégée: writer/director Dee Rees. Now hitting theaters nationwide, Rees’ film Pariah is the powerful coming-of-age (and coming out) story of Alike (Adepero Oduye), an African-American Brooklyn teen struggling to stay true to her sexual identity amidst a family wrought with instability and homophobia. Alike is a straight-A student with a flair for poetry who escapes conflict at home by immersing herself in schoolwork and carefully navigating very different social circles. On one side is her best friend, out lesbian Laura (Pernell Walker), who supports her and takes her on adventures to dimly lit clubs in dangerous neighborhoods. On the other side, Alike finds herself drawn to Bina (Aasha Davis), the daughter of her mother’s co-worker. The two stay up late discussing their favorite poets and musical tastes, and Bina piques Alike’s newfound interest in afro-punk by taking her to shows, where she finally feels a sense of belonging. It isn’t long, however, before the two find they have a complicated attraction to more than just the same artists. Pariah is a fascinating film with deeply compelling characters. Even Alike’s controlling and violently emotional mother (Kim Wayans) has moments that garner real audience sympathy and keep her from becoming a two-dimensional oppressor. The script is multi-faceted, tackling Alike’s struggle with coming out and finding herself as a young woman, and thankfully it never veers into tragedy or melodrama. Instead, Rees focuses solely on Alike’s irrepressible resilience and the creative talents she relies upon as she makes her own way to adulthood. [ESTHER ZINN]

Angelina Jolie has chosen the horriﬁc Bosnian War of the 1990s as the subject of her directorial and screenwriting debut, focusing her ﬁctional narrative on Danijel (Goran Kostic), a Serbian army commander, and Ajla (Zana Marjanovic), a Muslim artist. A beautiful opening scene with little dialogue shows the two leads having a romantic encounter at a bar. But the next time we see them, Ajla has been forced from her home along with other Muslim women to be used as sex slaves for a group of Serbian soldiers, and Danijel is their leader. Her fellow prisoners are raped at the

Kirsten Dunst

MELANCHOLIA Written and directed by Lars von Trier (Magnolia Pictures) Lars von Trier’s latest ﬁlm is a radical change from his earlier work. Gone is the stylized mutilation of Antichrist and the cruelty of Dancer in the Dark and Dogville. Instead, Melancholia limns the bone-aching trauma of depression while delivering a beautiful, tender vision of the end of the world. In von Trier’s tale, “Melancholia” is both the name of a planet on a slow collision course with Earth and the name of a disease plaguing Justine (Kirsten

MOVIES

soldiers’ will, but Ajla is protected from that particular horror because Danijel tells his soldiers that Ajla is his property. Greeting Danijel with stone-faced silence when they meet again, Ajla soon allows for a sexual relationship to develop with her captor that is maddening to watch. It seems that Jolie is exploring how far people will go for self-preservation during wartime with this problematic plot. At least, one hopes that’s what she’s doing—and not trying to tell a love story. Jolie almost wasn’t allowed to shoot in Sarajevo because a local female victims of war group spoke out after hearing the film was about a rape victim who falls in love with her attacker. And given the power dynamic between Ajla and Danijel, that rumor, which Jolie denied, really isn’t so far from the truth. In trying to make a statement about the horrors women endure when rape is used as a weapon of war, Jolie has fallen short: the story she chose to tell does not reflect the reality of that conflict. It’s a shame. The cinematography is lovely and Jolie’s use of the art and music of the region is appreciated. But c’mon—if you’re using a region’s war to tell a story, make it one that its people can embrace as their own. [ANNA BEAN]

Dunst), a woman whose increasingly erratic behavior during her wedding gives way to a crippling fugue state in the second chapter of the movie. While her sister Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) frets over whether or not the world will end, her brother-in-law John (Kiefer Sutherland) assures them all will be fine. Justine doesn’t particularly care, though—as far as she’s concerned, the world could end and it wouldn’t matter. She’s already been touched by melancholia, while everyone else is terrified they’ll be sucked into its orbit. Gainsbourg is impressive as a woman both frustrated by and protective of her sister, no matter what kind of damage Justine does to those around her. And in an all-toosmall role as Justine’s patient new husband, True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgård once again shows he has dramatic chops that go far beyond the fangs. Other noteworthy appearances include Charlotte Rampling as the sisters’ bitter mother, John Hurt as their drunken dad, Stellan Skarsgård (father of Alexander) as Justine’s boss, and Udo Kier as a hilariously overblown wedding planner. But above all others, Dunst puts in the film’s most impeccable performance as Justine. Her slow swoon into depression is absolutely chilling. [JENNI MILLER] // BUST / 81

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sex ﬁles

raunchy remakes WATCHING X-RATED MOVIES can be intimidating for a beginner, so why not ease yourself into the porn pool with parodies? Practically every popular show and movie has an explicit remake, and being familiar with the storyline and the characters can make for more comfortable, sexy viewing, not to mention some serious laughs. Here are a few of my cult favorites–cum-porno.

For something less emo, The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody (New Sensations, $12.99, tlavideo.com) is a must-see. Instead of the Asian thug peeing on the carpet as he does in the opening scene of the original, he jizzes on the Dude’s pornos and hilarity ensues. Both the writing and the acting are very impressive. In this ﬁlm’s version of the memorable dream sequence, the Dude is trapped inside a dildo that Maude—played in the original by Julianne Moore—fucks herself with (and it escalates from there). I am a pretty straight-shooting lady, but the woman who plays Maude is smoking hot.

Perhaps the most classic of all XXX parodies is Edward Penishands (Video Team Presents, $11.49, cduniverse.com). It loosely follows the Johnny Depp version, but the original Avon lady is now in door-to-door dildo sales, and instead of scissors, Edward has two giant penises for hands (which actually resemble Ren Faire turkey legs). The acting in porn parodies generally pales in comparison to their inspirations, but Sikki Nixx really kills it as awkward Edward. A couple of amazing things to note: Edward is created when a woman wishes her dildo were alive, there is a point where he tries to eat spaghetti with his dickhands, and the scene of Winona dancing in snow created by Edward’s scissorhands, is recreated…with cum shooting from Edward’s penishands.

Your most lady-centric option, however, is Bridesmaids XXX Porn Parody (Smash Pictures, $19.99, adultdvdempire.com), which follows the original script almost exactly, while making it much dirtier. The opening scene—which sends up Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm’s boots-knockin’—is perhaps the most hilarious, purposefully terrible sex scene I have ever seen. The acting isn’t the best, but an actual plus-size (well, for porn standards) star plays Melissa McCarthy’s Megan character and she’s delightfully sexually aggressive. Finally, a feel-good porn about bosom buddies getting laid and teaching each other about vibrators. So get your giggles and your juices ﬂowing with these porn parodies—even if the sex doesn’t do it for you, at least you’ll know you like the plot. [CALLIE WATTS]

GET STOKED ON SMUT WITH THE TRIPLE-X TREATMENT OF THREE FILM FAVES

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sex ﬁles

questions for the queen DR. CAROL QUEEN TELLS YOU EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO ASK

Your boredom quotient is rising, as it might with any long-term partner with whom no new tricks are ever tried—it’s just that you are that partner. Here are some basic add-ons that you may not have explored. If you are using just one hand, let the other roam free. You can even get a little bit of vaginal penetration without going too far. With lube, you can explore anal sensation—again, even without penetrating. We have lots of nerve endings there, even on the outside. You can try nipple touching and breast squeezing. Inner thighs, lower belly over the pubic bone, and down the sides toward your hips: all places that can enhance erotic sensation. You can also use toys externally—vibrators, of course, but anything non-scratchy and non-breakable that changes up the sensation of your hand strokes might be hot to try. I knew one woman who liked to cool down her vulva before she started touching. Additionally, adding fantasy, erotic stories, sexy scenes in movies, and other mind candy can add to the intensity of your arousal and change the way your hand’s familiar ministrations feel to you. But your question includes another element. Are you hesitating to incorporate any vaginal entry not only to preserve your virginity, but also because you want your vagina to remain tight? While I expect the term “loose woman” is supposed to snarkily refer to the state of a gal’s oft-used puss, it’s not true that a lady who indulges in vaginal penetration will get loose. The entire vagina is surrounded by muscles (PCs, aka pubococcygeals if you’re trying to impress the anatomy prof). Rhythmically tightening and relaxing these muscles (exercises known as Kegels) in reps of 10 or 20, then working up to 100 or more a day, is a variant of iron-pumping that will prepare your kitty to squeeze strongly. Doing Kegels will also give you more intense orgasms. You can ﬁnd the muscles by stopping a stream of urine in mid-release; those are the ones to contract. Try doing Kegels while you masturbate—ooh! Happy exploring!

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I’ve been married for almost 12 years and have recently been thinking only about another man—a close friend who I once had a major crush on and have recently re-connected with—while having sex with my husband. It gives me the greatest orgasms ever. Since I’m thinking about a real guy I feel a bit guilty afterward. Is this fantasizing harmless? Daydream Believer

If your fantasy were about George Clooney or some other famous hunk you won’t be running into at the park, I would immediately say yes, these thoughts are harmless, all other things being equal in your satisfaction with your husband. Fantasy is a way to let the brain take a more active role in eroticism (as are erotic talk and sexy roleplay), and people of every gender find it adds to solo and partnered erotic experience. Fantasy about a specific person who is known to you and on whom you have a crush might be just more harmless mental masturbation, a way to make a romp in bed with your committed partner seem like a spicy, fun ride. But this kind of fantasy does feed the crush. So you need to ask yourself whether it feels out-of-bounds to you—and also whether things feel good with your husband. It’s possible to use fantasy to keep one eye on the door when you’re in a monogamous relationship; it can be a signal you don’t in fact want to be monogamous at all (in which case I recommend reading The Ethical Slut, or looking for a polyamory support group, and hoping your husband is open to such things). So what is it in your world? Look at whether your relationship with your husband could use some new underwear, so to speak. You might even consider finding a therapist who will kick this question around with you. I would not recommend, at this moment, talking to either your husband or your friend about it, unless you are quite certain you either want to act on the crush or laugh it off completely (and expect them to laugh it off with you. Even then, don’t be too surprised if it feels like a lid has been removed from Pandora’s Box).

ILLUSTRATION: MARCELLUS HALL

I’ve been masturbating since I was little, but lately I’ve gotten kind of bored with my regular rub-down routine. I’m a virgin and want to stay one for now; it’s hard to ﬁnd options that don’t compromise that, but I feel like I’ve reached my peak when it comes to having an orgasm. Any suggestions for spicing things up while still staying tight? Masturbation Monotonist

Carol Queen is a staff sexologist at Good Vibrations. Got a sex or relationship question you need answered? Post it at www.bust.com/sex

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sex ﬁles ONE-HANDED READ

feel the vibrations

THE SOUND OF MUSIC LEADS TO SOME NEIGHBORLY LOVIN’ AT WORK ON the latest draft of her thesis, Jane was interrupted by the loud thumping of music blasting from next door. This had happened every afternoon since her new neighbor had moved in and it was driving her crazy. She shoved her books aside, marched into the hall and pounded on her neighbor’s door. The guy who opened it didn’t look anything like she’d expected. He wasn’t some jock frat boy, he was actually pretty cute: tall with ﬂoppy brown hair and a friendly smile. He was also looking at her expectantly. “Um, hi.” She faltered for a minute then regrouped. “Your music? Yeah, so, it’s pretty fucking loud.” She noticed the guy staring at her mouth, his face changing from friendly to concerned. “It’s driving me crazy. So, uh, can you turn it down? That’d be great,” she continued in her snarkiest voice. Her neighbor walked away, turned the music down, and beckoned her in. His non-reaction to her bitchy request put her off her guard and she decided to follow him inside. “I’m Dan,” he said, now that the music had quieted. His voice sounded distorted, almost as if he had a head cold. “I’m sorry about my music. I play it loudly because I’m deaf. Well, to be precise I’m hard of hearing. I can hear the music a little, but when it’s loud the vibrations help me enjoy it.” He smiled at her. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I’ll make sure to turn it down.” Jane felt like an ass. Well, sort of. The fact that the guy was deaf, or hard of hearing, or whatever, didn’t mean he could just play his music as loud as he liked. But his sincere explanation took all the anger out of her and the way he was eyeing her made her suddenly conscious of the fact that she had stormed over in her “writing outﬁt”: a tank top, no bra, and some drawstring shorts, no underwear. His eyes roaming over her body caused her nipples to harden and her pussy to throb in anticipation. She blushed. “Oh. Well, that’s understandable. But, yeah, if you could turn it down a little

[BY LEORA STARK]

that would be great. Will you...still be able to enjoy it?” “I’ll show you.” Dan rested his hand on her arm and drew her over to the stereo. His light touch caused goose bumps to rise. He turned the volume back up, put her hand on one of the speakers, and moved behind her, his body not quite touching hers, but near enough so that she was aware of his proximity with every nerve in her body. When the bass line kicked in she felt the vibrations everywhere. “Oh! I see what you mean.” As Jane said this she realized her mistake. Dan had been reading her lips before and now he couldn’t do so. She turned her head and smiled at him shyly to show she liked the sensation, bringing their faces inches apart. She could feel his breath hot and sweet on her face. She blushed and turned back, embarrassed by her sudden desire to kiss him. Dan pressed his hand on top of hers and moved closer, molding the length of his body to hers. She realized she could feel the bulge of his cock nudging her through her thin shorts. Without thinking, she pressed her ass back against it. Dan’s breath hitched. She pushed into him and rubbed against his crotch, not caring at this point that she hardly knew the guy, just wanting more sensation. Sensing her need, Dan brought both hands up to cup her breasts and began tracing light circles around her nipples with his thumbs. She whimpered. He explored her collarbone, neck, and right earlobe with his tongue, then turned her around, pinned her against the speaker and kissed her roughly. The vibrations and the feeling of Dan’s hands on her body, his tongue in her mouth, combined to create an exquisite sensory experience and Jane felt the telltale tingling in her pussy that signaled

an impending orgasm. Dan pulled down her shorts and pushed her ass on top of the speaker. He ran his hand up her inner thigh. As he neared her lips she arched toward him, not wanting to wait any longer for the touch she desired. Not knowing if she could wait any longer. Dan smiled at her eagerness, her wetness. He began stroking her pussy lips, every so often probing her gently, making her throb with agony and anticipation. Then, all of a sudden, he pushed three fingers roughly inside her. The sudden pressure made her gasp. Dan scissored his fingers apart, stretching her drenched opening, then began kneading her clit roughly with his thumb. The silky nub inflated under his touch. He thrust into her, keeping time with the vibrations of the music pulsing through her body. After each penetration he withdrew his fingers almost completely then plunged them back inside, reaching an aching needy spot that she’d forgotten she even had. Soon she was bucking in place; driving into him as he drove into her. Her thighs tensed and her breath came in rough gasps as she strained for release. She felt the walls of her pussy begin to tighten and spasm around his fingers, clenching them deep inside her. Dan buried his face in her neck and groaned as pulse after pulse of searing heat shattered through her and she gushed hot liquid all down his hand. Her mouth opened in a silent yell and she threw her head back, enjoying the residual contractions down her body as her orgasm quieted. When she finished, Dan slowly withdrew his fingers, sucked the juices off them with relish, and smiled at her. “So, do you still want me to turn the music down?” He asked.

BUST (ISSN 1089-4713), No. 72, Dec/Jan, 2012. BUST is published bi-monthly in Feb/Mar, Apr/May, June/July, Aug/Sept, Oct/Nov, and Dec/Jan by BUST, Inc. 18 West 27th Street, 9th Floor, New York, NY, 10001. Printed in the U.S.A. Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY, and additional mailing ofﬁces. Subscription prices, payable in U.S. funds, are $19.95 for one year (6 issues). Additional postage: In Canada add $10 per year, and in all other foreign countries add $20 per year. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BUST, P.O. BOX 16775, NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA, 91615.

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10/28/11 1:11:52 PM

X GAMES [BY DEB AMLEN]

musical interlude

64. Newswoman Shriver 65. Zap 66. Lets go of 67. Foul moods

Down

Across 1. The Day the Earth ___ Still 6. “Heads up!” 11. Chi follower 14. Greeting in Winnie the Pooh 15. Female buddy in Barcelona 16. Cabernet, e.g. 17. “Fuck ___ ___ !” (two words) 18. Rat-a-tat, as in speech

ANSWERS TO “BREAKING THE CURSE” FROM THE OCT/NOV ‘11 ISSUE. FOR ANSWERS TO THIS ISSUE’S PUZZLE, SEE NEXT ISSUE OF BUST.

20. Instrument for swabbies? 22. Records 23. Like craft shows 24. Foal’s mother 25. Internet Explorer alternative 29. Parked oneself 30. Locket shape 31. Showcase item 35. The facts of life? 38. Instruments for housekeepers? 41. Amazement 42. Fiber animal from Peru 43. Abbr. at the bottom of a business letter 44. Fanciful story 45. Mondo ___ 47. It may leave a mark 49. Greet the day 52. Madison Avenue award 53. Instrument for commitment-phobes? 58. BUST’s “Museum of Femoribilia” columnist 61. Domain 62. Cartoon exclamation 63. Biscotti ﬂavoring

1. Tibia 2. Breast, colloquially 3. Patron saint of Norway 4. Earthenware pot 5. It might shrink when inflated 6. Diamond measure 7. Aggregate 8. Stewed 9. Technology behind many animated film effects (abbr.) 10. “We've been ___ !” (conned) 11. Rap sheet listing 12. Sew with an overlock machine 13. Day of the month 19. Crib, in Coventry 21. Nutty candy 24. Sandwich spread 25. Scotch’s partner 26. Assert 27. Iconic 1980 film about N.Y.C.’s LaGuardia High School of the Performing Arts 28. A pint, maybe 29. Acupressure technique 32. Dead letters? 33. Mozart’s L’ ___ del Cairo 34. Pipe material, briefly 35. Storage places for craft supplies, perhaps 36. American ruler unit 37. Capital on a fjord 39. Expressed 40. Back to the Future actress Thompson 44. Zodiac symbol 46. Supplies with better weapons 47. More cunning 48. Into the unusual, sexually 49. Like thick smoke 50. Bring up 51. British ___ 52. Musical staff symbol 54. Like Jack Sprat’s diet 55. Delhi wrap 56. Came down to earth 57. Dec. holiday 59. Ms. ___ -Man 60. Opposite of WSW

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the last laugh [BY ESTHER PEARL WATSON]

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