Issue 54

FOR FOR WOMEN WOMENWITH WITHSOMETHING SOMETHINGTO TOGET GETOFF OFFTHEIR THEIRCHESTS CHESTS

DEC/JAN ’09’08 AUG/SEPT

mad women the ladies of advertising’s golden age tell all

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MAKE IT classy cocktails adorable apron perfect presents pretty pillbox hat what ESTELLE does in the shower might surprise you

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jenny lewis INDIE ROCK’S ICONIC “IT” GIRL

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2008

Holiday

Craftacular

The BUST Magazine Holiday Craftacular is three times the fun this year, with events in NYC, Los Angeles, and London! Come listen to DJs, down some drinks, and get jiggy with Jingle Bells as you browse through the best in handmade gifts and winter wares, from handbags and ornaments to jewelry and cards. DON’T MISS: Amy Sedaris selling cupcakes! (NYC) // Stella Zotis from Project Runaway! (NYC) // Craftacular Craft Beer Garden! (NYC) // BUST Stylists’ Closet Boutique (NYC) // Rockin’ Bands! (LA) // DIY Demos! (NYC, LA) // Learn to Stitch Station! (London) // Tatty Devine! (London) // DJs Sheila B and the Vinyl Vendettas! (London) // Goodie bags, raffles, and more!

Los Angeles New York London, UK Dec.6 // 11am-6pm The Echoplex 1154 Glendale Blvd., LA

Dec.13 // 10am-8pm Dec.6 // 12pm-11pm Penn Plaza Pavilion 401 Seventh Avenue, NYC

St. Aloysius Social Club 20 Phoenix Road, London

For more information, visit www.bust.com/craftacular

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FEATURES [DECEMBER/JANUARY ’09]

70

40 50

40 ACID QUEEN Getting down to business with songstress Jenny Lewis. By Molly Simms

JANELLE MONÁE PHOTO: ALIYA NAUMOFF

46 MADE WITH LOVE Surprise your friends with something crafted by your own two hands. Compiled

by Lisa Butterworth, photos by Andrew McCaul

56 FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK These head-bangin’ chicks need heavy metal to get their kicks. By Jenny Rose Ryan, photos by Angela Boatwright

63 THE RIGHT STUFF The BUST staff’s picks for this year’s must-have gifts.

50 MAD WOMEN During advertising’s golden age, females 70 GIRLS ON FILM Indie-music upstarts shed some were far from typical wage slaves. By Erin DeJesus

light on frocks that rock. Photos by Aliya Naumoff, styling by Christian Stroble

ON THE COVER: JENNY LEWIS SHOT IN L.A. BY JENNIFER ROCHOLL; STYLING: JESSICA PASTER; HAIR AND MAKEUP: TIFFANY JOHNSTON; VINTAGE DRESS: SHERENE

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CONTENTS

29

9

Broadcast Wisecrackin’ Sarah Haskins; following the lead of the Granny Peace Brigade; Lilly McElroy flings herself at boys; and more. 12 She-bonics Patti Smith, America Ferrera, Anne Hathaway, Margaret Cho, and Keira Knightley get gossipy. By Whitney Dwire 13 Boy du Jour John Roberts makes us laugh till it hurts. By Dawn Mauberret 16 Pop Quiz Get set, get ready, we love Estelle Getty! By Emily Rems 18 Hot Dates Spend your wintry nights seeing the sights. By Emelyne Smith

21

Real Life An apron you’ll wanna jump on; homemade deodorant helps you stay fresh for less; renegade kitchens serve up a restaurant vibe on the sly; and more. 25 Buy or DIY It’s not hard to make your own greeting cards. By Eunice and Sabrina Moyle and Callie Watts 28 Old School Grandma Butterworth’s trifle. By Lisa Butterworth

31

Looks A photo editor sports a style that flatters her; fashion a fascinator or rock a pillbox; look hot as hell with tips from Estelle; and more. 32 Fashionista Your wardrobe should feature a dress from Dear Creatures. By Lisa Butterworth 34 BUST Test Kitchen Our interns give their makeup a smooth remove, enjoy the smell of some shower gel, and give a new toothpaste a taste.

35 Page O’ Shit Yoga stuff to help you get buff. By Callie Watts

93

Sex Files Try Semenex on your guy or your ex; damn it feels good to be STFree; and more. 94 Ask Aunt Betty and Cousin Carlin Our sexpert team helps you turn up the steam. By Dr. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross 96 One-Handed Read The Maintenance Man. By Hunter London

13

Columns 14 Pop Tart Laura Ingalls still makes us tingle. By Wendy McClure Museum of Femoribilia This board game scarf might make you 15 barf. By Lynn Peril 20 News From a Broad Cheerleaders take a lickin’ and keep on kickin’. By Laura Krafft Eat Me Desperately seeking boozin’. By Chef Rossi 29 Mother Superior Caught up in the whims of middle-school 30 gym. By Ayun Halliday Around the World in 80 Girls Take your next holiday in 38 Savannah, GA! By Jessica Leigh Lebos X Games Body Math Index. By Deb Amlen 111 The BUST Guide 79 Music Reviews; plus Ebony Bones is second to none.

86 Movies Wendy and Lucy Pray the Devil Back to Hell by asking Who Does She Think She Is? Books Reviews; plus Norah Vincent’s latest stunt.

87

84

98 112

BUSTshop The Last Laugh Tammy Pierce’s Morrissey massacre.

By Esther Pearl Watson

PHOTO [TOP]: SARAH ANNE WARD; PHOTO [MIDDLE]: DANIELLE ST. LAURENT; PHOTO [BOTTOM]: ALIYA NAUMOFF

Regulars 6 Editor’s Letter 7 Dear BUST

004 / BUST //DEC/JAN

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EDITOR’S LETTER

the boob tube HERE AT BUST HQ, there’s no such thing as water-cooler talk. That’s not because we don’t have a water cooler—we do—but rather because we work in a big open space, so if you wanna have some office banter with your colleagues, you can do so from your own desk.

And banter we do—about politics, music, feminizzle, and, yes, television. In fact, we probably discuss television more than anything. Reality shows, sitcoms, dramas, docs—you name it, we’ve watched it. But I have never seen our staff as obsessed with any show as we’ve all recently been with Mad Men. How we managed to miss the first season I don’t know, but the second season of the multi-award-winning AMC series about an advertising firm in the ‘60s had us devouring, and deconstructing, every second. So why does a show that presents the heyday of casual sexism (and racism, homophobia, and anti-Semitism) appeal to the “liberated” women of today? For Laurie and me, there’s definitely a certain amount of nostalgia—the show reproduces, in rather meticulous detail, the world we were born into. For our younger staff members, there is a tinge of romanticism about a time when women wore fantastic, not-yet-vintage dresses and offices were equipped with the best in midcentury modern furniture. And for all of us, there is a sense of relief, and release, in seeing how far we’ve come from the days when women were either career girls, housewives, or sexpots, but never more than one of those at the same time.

Yet, old stereotypes die hard, and the three main female characters—Betty, the dutiful wife and mother; Peggy, the girl from the typing pool who has become the agency’s sole female copywriter; and Joan, the head secretary who’s played playmate to more than one male coworker—represent the three personas that women of today are still trying to navigate their way through. Take Sex and the City as a more contemporary TV parallel: Miranda was Peggy (career-minded and nonmaternal), Charlotte was Betty (loving mother and wife), and Samantha was Joan (out to spread her legs to her own advantage, although Samantha definitely got more pleasure out of it). The only character missing on Mad Men is Carrie, the everygirl facing a particularly modern challenge: how to cobble together a combination of these three personas into a brand-new type of feminine mystique. Perhaps that’s because there were no Carries in the restrictive ’60s. For women of the 21st century, there’s a lot to think about while watching Mad Men, and to discuss at work the next day.

As it turns out, however, Mad Men doesn’t tell the whole story about women in the golden age of advertising, as we reveal in “Mad Women.” There, we report that, in fact, there were quite a few Peggys back in the day, and they were responsible for starting some of today’s largest advertising agencies.

The articles in this issue reflect both how far we’ve come in the past 40 years as well as the continuing tensions between old and new ideas about women’s roles. We talk to indie-rock royalty Jenny Lewis, who points out that women are expected to make only certain types of music and are criticized if they dare to step outside of those expectations (Peggy would agree); we show you how to sew up an adorable apron and mix up some classy cocktails (Betty would love these); and we present you with great fashion and sex advice (right up Joan’s alley). But what would these women make of some of the other items here: the outrageous Mardi Gras performers who call themselves The Camel Toe Ladysteppers? The young women who pump their fists in the air and paint their nails black as hard-core fans of heavy-metal music? Or the artist Lilly McElroy, who literally throws herself into the arms of strange men, and has herself photographed midleap? In the past four decades, women have proven that they come in more flavors than blond, brunette, and redhead, and have many more dimensions than men—mad or otherwise—could ever have imagined.

So roll down your stockings, loosen up your girdles, and enjoy the issue.

Luv,

Debbie

ISSUE 54, DEC/JAN 2009

FOR WOMEN WITH SOMETHING TO GET OFF THEIR CHESTS

PUBLISHERS Laurie Henzel & Debbie Stoller EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Debbie Stoller CREATIVE DIRECTOR + FASHION EDITOR Laurie Henzel MANAGING EDITOR Emily Rems SENIOR DESIGNER Tara Marks ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lisa Butterworth CUSTOMER SERVICE + CRAFTY LADY Callie Watts BOOKS + FEATURES EDITOR Priya Jain ASSOCIATE MUSIC EDITOR Sara Graham CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Molly Simms INTERNS Lauren Antolino, Kutendereza Babumba, Antonia Blair, Mara Cates, Cristina Cerullo, Jessica Opala, Andie Rishoi, Cynthia Rudman, Amy Watanabe, Sari Widman, Alma Zeno ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER OF ADVERTISING + MARKETING Maggie Tâm Clark/Peony Media Ink. 212.675.1707 x106, ads@bust.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING SALES + MARKETING MANAGER Gail Johnson 212.675.1707 x112, gailjohnson@bust.com MARKETING, PROMOTIONS + SALES MANAGER Susan Juvet, susan@bust.com BOOKKEEPER Amy Moore accounting@bust.com FOR SUBSCRIPTIONS Please email subscriptions@bust.com or call 866.220.6010 FOR BOOBTIQUE ORDERS Please email orders@bust.com

MEMBER OF THE MAGAZINE PUBLISHERS OF AMERICA

WWW.BUST.COM ©2009 BUST, Inc. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the permission of the publisher. The articles and advertising appearing within this publication reflect the opinions and attitudes of their respective authors and not necessarily those of the publisher or editors.

Canada Post: Publications Mail Agreement #40612608 Canada returns to be sent to Bleuchip International, P.O. Box 25542, London, ON N6C 6B2

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DEAR BUST

Tell Us How You Really Feel I was so happy to see Kristen Schaal in BUST (“Pretty Funny,” Oct/Nov ’08). I took an acting class with her in college and remember Kristen saying that a professor had told her that with her looks and her voice, she should really think about another major. Just goes to show that you should never give up on your dreams orr listen to negative voices. Way to go, Kristen! Kelly MacBlane, Buffalo Grove, IL I recently celebrated my 30th birthday and have been wavering between nostalgia and fear regarding my disappearing youth. It was most excellent to read about Sarah Silverman and Margaret Cho (“Shooting Star” and “Cho Time,” Oct/Nov ’08), two women in their 30s who are doing their most interesting work yet. Sometimes, I just need a reminder that the ubiquitous, barely legal starlets of the mainstream media are not the only role models Hollywood has to offer. BUST proves that women over 30 are smarter and sexier than ever. Layne Arens, Chicago, IL I started reading BUST my freshman year of college, and I have yet to put it down. I cannot tell you how many times your wonderful magazine has given me a place to go when life hit me hard. I am a victim of Hurricane Ike, and while my house came through the storm relatively fine, some of my friends and family were not so lucky—it was a sad time for everyone. The first day the post returned to normal, there it was in my mailbox—the Oct/Nov issue of BUST, and my heart just skipped a beat.

I read it cover to cover by candlelight. Thank you for making a difference in this southern feminist’s life. Sonya Mendiola, Houston, TX I adore your magazine and devour every issue. That said, I was really disappointed to see Sri Lanka featured as a vacation destination (“Around the World in 80 Girls,” Oct/Nov ’08): the country is quite unsafe for travel. Foreign Affairs Canada advises against all nonessential travel to the country. According to the report, “Violent attacks, resulting in numerous deaths and casualties, have been occurring with increasing frequency in 2008. Victims have included military personnel, government officials, and civilians.” The U.S. Department of State has a similar warning in place. Hopefully, anyone thinking of traveling there (or anywhere!) will do the research and make an informed decision.

Ashley Pinsent, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Oops, We Did It Again In “Dead Sexy” (Oct/Nov ’08), Kerrie Urban provided hair and makeup for Jillian McDonald. In “All I Want For Christmas,” (Oct/Nov ’08), Freddy Rodriguez grew up in the Chicago neighborhood of Bucktown.

We regret these errors.

Get it off your chest! Send feedback to: Letters, BUST Magazine, P.O. Box 1016, Cooper Station, New York, NY 10276. Email: letters@bust.com. Include your name, city, state, and email address. Letters may be edited for length and clarity. // BUST / 007

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CONTRIBUTORS Born and raised in Columbus, OH, Angela Boatwright, who photographed “For Those About to Rock,â€? moved to New York City at age 18 to start her career. Her ďŹ rst job was shooting Def Squad for Thrasher magazine; now Boatwright photographs campaigns for Rock Band and American Express and works for publications including Nylon, Guitar World, and ESPN, to name a few. She’s an obsessive heavy metal fan and is currently listening to slightly obscure late-’80s band Princess Pang, with Aerosmith and Alice Cooper on deck. You can ďŹ nd her work on www.angelaboatwright.com, as well as unholy loads of personal photography on her blog, www.angelaboatwright.blogspot.com.

Erin DeJesus, who wrote “Mad Women,â€? is a magazine editor at a gay men’s rag and a freelance writer living in New York City. When not busy dining out, magazine shopping, or coveting other people’s puppies, she ďŹ nds the time to contribute to Theme, Media, and Venus Zine, among other publications. A popculture junkie, her goal in life is to appear as a snarky talking head on VH1’s inevitable I Love the ’00s (where she’ll use some of that airtime to bemoan the network’s decline during the new millennium). Read more of her work at www.asteriskerin.com.

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Sara Graham has come a long way since her days as an editorial intern at BUST three years ago. In addition to being our new associate music editor, she’s a freelance writer for the nightlife Web site Going.com. The former associate editor of Crochet Today!, she has also written for SOMA and Anthem. When she’s not scoping rock shows for awesomeness, she’s trolling the local dog park for Welsh Corgis, dancing with strangers, or making stuff. Graham lives and works in her slanted apartment in Brooklyn and is seriously considering a pen name with more pizzazz.

Photographer Jennifer Rocholl, who shot the feature story “Acid Queen,� says cover girl Jenny Lewis “was a brilliantly creative spirit to work with.�

The shoot took place at Lewis’ house, a perfect, whimsical setting that was once owned by a Disney animator. “We got to the point where I didn’t even need to direct her—Jenny, sans inhibitions, would jump around like a little pixie in front of my camera,� says Rocholl.

She was recently named one of Photo District News’ 30 photographers to watch in 2008. She’s based in L.A. but travels globally, wherever shooting duty calls.

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NEWS+VIEWS

target practice SARAH HASKINS’ BITING WIT KEEPS WOMEN’S ISSUES CURRENT

MAKEUP: RENEÉ LOIZ FOR NARS

DO THE WOMEN populating commercials nowadays—those personality-free mombots who talk about Hamburger Helper as if it were a cure for cancer—seem a little off to you? Sarah Haskins feels your pain. The 29-year-old writes and stars in a series of comedy segments for the cable network Current called “Target: Women,” on which she skewers the absurd world of female-oriented commercials and TV shows. She’s like your funniest shit-talking friend, taking down the media’s lame attempts at connecting with women consumers one by one. In a particularly spot-on episode, Haskins shows clips of the season’s latest drippy chick flicks and admits, “I will see these movies…but for very specific reasons. 1: I like eating popcorn for dinner. 2: Sometimes I like to cry for fun.” In another priceless piece, Haskins zeroes in on the nonstop yogurt commercials clogging our airwaves. After a clip in which two ladies praise the product as “First-kiss good! Shoeshopping good!” Haskins snarkily yells, “Say more stuff I generically relate to!”

“Target: Women” is a part of Current’s InfoMania show, a weekly pop-culture program that reports on the news and media with a satirical eye. Haskins moved to L.A. from Chicago in 2007 to join the show and started working on the “Target: Women” spots soon afterward.

But she’d always been conscious of the lunacy of shows like Bridezillas and those idiotic household-cleaner ads. “It’s certainly »

PHOTO BY SAM COMEN

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broadcast

old’s cool THE GRANNY PEACE BRIGADE ARE ACTIVISTS WITH A SENIOR TWIST

Looking for an activist gift? Since its publication in April, Karen Dawn’s Thanking the Monkey: Rethinking the Way We Treat Animals ($19.95, HarperCollins) has become required reading among the PETA set. Sprinkled with comics and cute veg-celeb pics to offset the grim subject matter, it’s an unusually approachable intro to animal rights.

PHOTO [TOP LEFT]: SAM COMEN; PHOTO [BOTTOM RIGHT]: EVA-LEE BAIRD

Sarah Haskins goes green

something my friends and I would do—watch TV and make fun of everything we were seeing,” she says. “There’s an existing reservoir of women who think this stuff is pretty ridiculous.”

Though she makes a living cracking on TV now, Haskins was barely allowed to watch it as a kid growing up in Chicago, a rule dictated by her teacher mom. (“The excuse I was given was that it turns your brain to mush, which I think is a scientific fact. You get mush brain.”) After graduating from Harvard, however, Haskins spent time in the belly of the beast—working as an advertising copywriter for a year. So she’s well aware of how most advertisers see the female world. “They want you to feel like the ideal woman, and you’ll be her if you just buy X product. So that brings up the question, ‘What is our idealized version of womanhood?’” she explains. “You have to be a great mom, and also beautiful, but also smart, and maybe have a job. You try to squish all that stuff into one thing, and it gets a little ridiculous.”

Haskins acknowledges that it’s easy to see today’s landscape of femaleoriented shows and ads as overwhelmingly bleak. “I think programming made for women is always cheesy,” she says, “unless I haven’t seen something awesome that you can tell me about. Then I’ll be like, ‘Target: Women’? Forget about it, I retire.” But Haskins doesn’t only watch PBS; despite her job, she can still get into delicious trash like Gossip Girl. “I’m guilty,” she admits. “I watch all those shows. I love ’em. I think it’s fun to combine high and low culture. If you notice, there are a lot of Grey’s Anatomy references in ‘Target: Women.’

My sister got me hooked when I first moved to L.A. and I didn’t know anyone.

I was like, ‘I’m gonna go home and talk to my doctor friends.’”

So does Haskins have any advice for the hapless advertisers and network execs who want to grab women’s attention without pandering? “I don’t want them to improve their pitches! This is my lifeblood!” she says, laughing. “I mean, there’s something that’s always going to be ridiculous about advertising, so I don’t necessarily think you can improve it. It’s selling us a dream, and it’s selling us something that should be disconnected from the real world. That’s part of why I didn’t want to stay in advertising. I think what we all can do is be a little more aware of how often we’re advertised to.” To catch up on past segments of “Target: Women,” you can watch them online at www.current.com. [MOLLY SIMMS]

CHANTING PHRASES LIKE “We insist, we enlist,” 18 women between the ages of 59 and 91 were arrested in October 2005, after they surrounded a Times Square recruitment center in N.Y.C. and attempted to enlist in the United States military in the place of young people fighting in Iraq. Charged with disorderly conduct after one of the members knocked on the center’s locked door with her cane, the women of the Granny Peace Brigade were just getting started.

The brainchild of 89-year-old New Yorker Molly Klopot (a last name she says means “trouble” in Polish), the Grannies have since staged more attention-grabbing antiwar actions like the one that got them thrown in jail. “It’s about the dignity and responsibility of grandmothers looking out for the future,” says Klopot. “That’s who we are.”

After a six-day trial, the Grannies, among them a pediatrician, a schoolteacher, a psychologist, and an architect, had the charges against them dismissed. But they weren’t put off by their time in court. Instead, the Grannies moved forward with events like phone-a-thons, in which they stopped people on the street and encouraged them to call their congressperson to speak out against the war using one of the group’s cell phones. The Grannies also commemorated the fifth anniversary of the war in Iraq with a knit-in, in which they publicly made stump socks for amputee vets.

Though the group doesn’t want their sense of spectacle to undercut their seriousness about the situation in Iraq, Klopot admits their grandmotherly exteriors do play a part in getting people to listen to their antiwar message.

“Elderly women are not threatening,” says Klopot. “We wear pink foam crowns. I don’t think young men could do this.” To find out what the Grannies will be up to next, visit www.grannypeacebrigade.org. [EMILY MCCOMBS]

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broadcast

head over heels LOOK OUT, BOYS—HERE COMES LILLY MCELROY!

A bar patron welcomes Lilly with open arms

ON ANY RANDOM night in New York City, you might find 29-year-old artist Lilly McElroy cruising bars for men to throw herself at. She’s not particularly horny—she just needs them for an ongoing project called “I Throw Myself at Men,” a photo series in which McElroy literally launches herself at men in bars and has shots taken of herself in midair.

As I chat with McElroy over the phone about the art of the body slam, it becomes clear that she has a basic routine when arranging a jump into a stranger’s arms. “I usually approach someone who looks like they could catch me,” she says, laughing, “and then I just ask them if I can throw myself at them. I think the jokiness of that disarms people. So we do some pretty lame banter back and forth, and then they either say yes or no.” The emotion expressed by the final photos, however, is open to interpretation. The shots range from hilarious, with one man squatting and bracing like he’s about to get punched, to sweet, like the smiling guy who

looks as if he’s welcoming a lover into his arms.

As you might imagine, tossing yourself at strangers is a good way to ensure some extremely weird interactions. “One guy and his wife invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner,” McElroy recalls, “followed by a more inappropriate invitation. But he was kind of drunk, so maybe I misinterpreted.”

Through the “I Throw Myself at Men” project, McElroy says she’s exploring “the process of making romantic connections. If they work or if they don’t, there’s still that trying,” she explains. “And there’s comedy in that. It’s so awful and embarrassing sometimes when you put yourself out there to try to engage with people.” As for McElroy’s personal life, her boyfriend, in fact, is responsible for shooting many of the photos for her project. “Figuratively, I don’t throw myself at men anymore,” she says, and laughs. “But I literally still do.”

To check out McElroy in action, visit her online at www.lillymcelroy.com. [MOLLY SIMMS]

Warmest Regards... In 2006, The National World War II Museum in New Orleans launched Knit Your Bit, “a national, grass-roots program to produce hand-knit scarves for World War II veterans in appreciation of their service.” Since then, nearly 5,000 scarves have been distributed, and they’re just getting started. To get in on the act and download a free pattern, visit www.nationalww2museum.org.

she-bonics “I never thought about gender. I never felt oppressed because of my gender. When I’m writing a poem or drawing, I’m not a female, I’m an artist.

I’m more concerned with the work people do than their gender.” Patti Smith, in Spin

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

[COMPILED BY WHITNEY DWIRE]

“Close, genuine female relationships are not what generally gets depicted in movies and TV. Like, if you’re watching The Hills or 90210, all the backstabbing shapes the way we act—you go to school and you think your job is to find a sworn enemy. I mean, I love Blake Lively, but shows like Gossip Girl condition us to be mean.” America Ferrera, in Seventeen “The rug was pulled out from under me. But just as suddenly, my friends threw another one under me. I’ve been shown such kindness. Not everyone gets that. A lot of people go through tough times alone.” Anne Hathaway on her breakup with Raffaello Follieri, in W “I lied my way into a college comedy competition because the prize was to open for Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn’t even in school, but I won. And Jerry told me I could probably quit college because I was so good. Years later, I told the contest promoters to clear my conscience—and they didn’t give a shit.” Margaret Cho remembering her big break, in Rolling Stone “Not going to university did give me an incredible driving force, because it leaves you with a slight chip on your shoulder. It makes me want to read absolutely everything so I can prove that I am not stupid.” Keira Knightley, in Tatler

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BOY DU JOUR

dude looks like a lady COMEDY FANS ARE WIGGING OUT OVER JOHN ROBERTS

PHOTO BY DANIELLE ST. LAURENT

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IF YOU’RE A YouTube enthusiast, chances are good you’ve had to muffle your laughter at work after having been forwarded one of 36-year-old John Roberts’ hilarious vignettes. Within the past two years, the N.Y.C.-based comedian, actor, and writer’s short videos, usually featuring Roberts in suburban-fabulous drag, have been featured on both VH1’s Best Week Ever and Comedy Central, earning him millions of hits and considerable praise for his uncanny ability to lampoon the world of women.

In his most popular short, Jackie & Debra (which has received over two million views to date), Roberts portrays Debra, an overly dramatic teenager in a fight with her best friend.

Debra’s turned-up nose (held in place with scotch tape), pink furlined jacket, and Chihuahua-shaped purse create an outrageous visual image, but it’s Roberts’ impeccable depiction of her adolescent eye rolling, arm crossing, and huffy weight shifting that make the clip addictive. “I spent a lot of time annoying my older sister growing up and witnessing girl drama,” says Roberts, revealing his inspiration. “I also assisted a stylist for Delia’s [clothing store] and worked around a lot of teenage girls there.”

Another popular Roberts creation is Marge, a New Jersey mom not-so-loosely based on his real-life mother (also named Marge). Sporting a red wig and enormous sunglasses, Roberts pokes fun at motherly traits recognizable to anyone, as he feverishly depicts Marge fussing over the Christmas tree, dusting her extensive angel collection, and stretching out the kitchen phone cord while gossiping from room to room at top volume.

When I ask if his mother takes offense at his very public teasing, Roberts explains that she loves it. “She got me into comedy when I was really young,” says Roberts, who got his start as a teenager opening for Chris Rock and Adam Sandler after his mom let him commute from New Jersey to N.Y.C. to take comedy classes. “We had every Saturday Night Live taped. It was a big part of our household.” Now Roberts films all of his ongoing Marge shorts in his mother’s home and costumes himself from her wardrobe. “She lays out all the clothes for the day, and she’ll drop off a pizza for us,” he brags. “The angel figurines are hers, and the Red Door is hers,” he laughs, referring to the Elizabeth Arden gift set Marge receives in his video Mother’s Day. Over time, Roberts has developed a knack for picking out the subtle details that make women tick and then blowing them out until his audience has emailed his links to their entire address book. So keep that in mind if you’re ever lucky enough to meet up with him in a N.Y.C. coffee shop like I was. Enjoy his company, but watch your back. He could be studying your every move. To join the cult yourself, watch all of Roberts’ vids at www.youtube.com/mittymoo. [DAWN MAUBERRET]

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broadcast POP TART [BY WENDY MCCLURE]

little house in my head WHY HALF-PINT ADDS UP TO A WHOLE LOT OF AWESOME “I GOT SOMETHING for you,” my boyfriend said. He’s constantly searching bins of secondhand vinyl LPs and paperbacks and videos, and sometimes he’ll find things I said I loved way back when. This is how I got a Scandal with Patty Smyth album, the first season of Trading Spaces on DVD, and the dis-

all, one after another.

“There’s an America’s Next Top Model marathon on,” my boyfriend would call from the TV room.

“Not now,” I’d call back. “Ma and Laura and Mary are making a button string for Carrie for Christmas.” Not that I even know what the hell a but-

I stuck with the books, because more than anything, they were all about Laura and the most awesome girlhood ever. tinct feeling that sometimes the past ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

He’d brought home the past, all right: a complete nine-book paperback set of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House books. I’d read the series in grade school, working my way through all her pioneer-kid adventures, from Little House in the Big Woods to Little House on the Prairie to the one where her family moves to South Dakota and it snows for, like, 17 months or something. Still, nine books is a lot to read.

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ton string is, but it hardly mattered, because the books had completely sucked me back in. Not just back to the world of the books themselves, full of log cabins and prairie grass and dolls made from corncobs, but to a time when I idolized Laura Ingalls Wilder every bit as much as Olivia Newton-John, Marie Osmond, and Princess Leia. HalfPint was that big in my mind. In fact, she was my secret imaginary friend for three months in second grade, accompanying me on ordinary car rides and trips to the mall. “We’re going on the escalator now, Laura,” I’d tell her in my head. All I wanted was to blow her

mind the way she’d blown mine.

I’m pretty sure people who haven’t read the books imagine Laura as some quaint character out of a Holly Hobbie illustration, with a big honking bonnet and a handful of pussy willows. Or else they picture Melissa Gilbert, who played Laura on Little House on the Prairie the TV show. But Laura’s tougher than either of those. She poked badgers with sticks, peeled leeches off her legs, and kicked Nellie Oleson’s ass.

It also needs to be said that the annoying word tomboy was never used to imply that her muddy-creek-wading shenanigans weren’t something a girl would do. They just weren’t things that a good girl did, something she’d despair over for about five minutes until she found a haystack to knock down.

As for the show, even as a kid I knew the real Ingalls family was completely different from their TV counterparts, who had brilliant ’70s smiles and sometimes shed their calico dresses to jog around in short shorts on Battle of the Network Stars. I couldn’t be bothered with the show’s Cracker Barrel wisdom about Michael Landon knowing best. I stuck with the books, because more than anything, they were all about Laura and the most awesome girlhood ever.

Reading the series again, I couldn’t help but notice how the world seemed to constantly change shape to fit the contours of Laura’s life. When she’s four, the Big Woods have a fairy-tale hugeness. When she’s 16, the snowdrifts on the prairie close in around the house and drive her nuts. Toward the end of the series, the Ingalls family stopped moving west, and Laura began to trade in her old, grubby frontier activities for the social dramas of town life, replete with engraved name cards, school cliques, and the return of Nellie Oleson, who was all decked out in intimidating-sounding fashions (whatever jabots or polonaises were, I’m sure they were fabulous). But in the end, it all proved to be just as riveting as being stalked by wolves and panthers.

Because Laura Ingalls Wilder knew, more than anyone else, that life’s a freaking wilderness when you’re a girl.

And of course, it’s the same now as it ever was.

ILLUSTRATION BY KATEY HARVEY

10/24/08 1:40:24 PM

MUSEUM OF FEMORIBILIA [BY LYNN PERIL]

scarf tactics REMEMBERING MADEMOISELLE’S ’60S PUBLICITY STUNT MANHUNT

MAKEUP & HAIR: BELINDA ZOLLO @ OLIVER PIRO; MODEL: KAYLA @ TRUMP MODEL MANAGEMENT

ONE OF BETTY Friedan’s assertions in The Feminine Mystique was that “the one lesson a girl could hardly avoid learning, if she went to college between 1945 and 1960, was not to get interested in anything besides getting married and having children, if she wanted to be normal, happy, adjusted, feminine.” Just a few months after Friedan’s tome hit shelves in 1963, Mademoiselle magazine, famous for its huge back-to-college issues put together by college-girl guest editors, offered readers a game that fit right in with Friedan’s contention. »

PHOTO BY AMANDA BRUNS

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broadcast “You & Men!” was the large-type headline on the cover of Mademoiselle’s June 1963 issue. In addition to an article on “The Century’s Most Fascinating Men” and a quiz asking “Whom Should You Marry?” was a two-page pullout dedicated to a new game called Manhunt. The instructions were simple: “Take one die, any number of girls, and toss. Use shells, pebbles, anything small for markers.

First girl home is first girl married.”

But the way to “Home & Him,” as the final square was marked, was fraught with pitfalls. “You didn’t put your perfume on this morning. Back to GO,” reads one game space.

Readers could also buy a 23-inchsquare silk scarf with the game board reproduced on it at department stores for $2 (about $14 now). A pair of bikini-clad models demonstrated the scarf’s versatility on another page in the June ’63 issue: “On the beach, it’s

a game; on your head, it’s a fashion” read the text. Just in case anybody missed how high the game’s stakes actually were, the page opposite the beach layout featured “The Spinster’s Survival Kit,” which tongue-in-cheekily included items such as a hot-water bottle (“that’s what his head would feel like” resting in one’s lap) and medium-fine sandpaper (to rub against one’s cheek in imitation of a lover’s five o’clock shadow).

Whether printed on paper or silk, Manhunt drove home the notion that snagging the right man was the goal toward which every young woman should aim. “He’s invited you for cocktails” got you one square ahead, dinner netted two—but being invited for breakfast, with its connotation of premarital sex, set you back five.

Babysitting for your married sister got a player sent directly to the space marked “DEAD END” (because you

weren’t out meeting men), as did dating an actor (too unstable). Novelists (“Back 3”) and first-year med students (“Back 2”) also made unsuitable dates—like an actor, a writer might need to be supported by his spouse, as might a young doctor with years of school ahead of him. True, there was a square marked “You’re studying aeronautical engineering. Ahead 1,” but what was that compared to the three spaces one moved back if she landed on “You make more money than he does”?

Manhunt resembled many mid-20th-century games for girls based on dating, but never were form and function so cleverly combined. After all, the Mystery Date game couldn’t keep the wind from mussing your hair when driving your convertible. Yet the ultimate take-away remained the same: a woman was nobody until she had her MRS degree.

pop quiz ESTELLE GETTY, WE’LL NEVER FORGET YE!

[BY EMILY REMS]

WHEN ESTELLE GETTY passed away on July 22, the entertainment world lost one of its most endearing faces. A veteran of the Yiddish theater and the Catskills’ “borscht belt” in her native New York, Getty went on to create the iconic role of Sophia Petrillo opposite comic foil Bea Arthur on The Golden Girls, from 1985 to 1992. And now, thanks to the wonders of cable syndication, she’s still dishing out sarcasm-induced laughs every night. Think you know what made Estelle so swell? Then take the quiz!

1. When Estelle was born in New York City on July 25, 1923, what was her given last name? a. Scher c. Feinstein

b. Getty d. Gross

2. Estelle married businessman Arthur Gettleman in 1947, and they stayed married until his death, in 2004.

How many sons did they have? a. 1 b. 2 c. 3 d. 4 3. In 1983, Estelle got her big break playing this gay icon’s mother on Broadway in his autobiographical hit, Torch Song Trilogy. a. Divine b. Jobriath

d. Harvey Fierstein

4. Even though Estelle played Bea Arthur’s mother on The Golden Girls, Estelle was actually ______ than Bea. a. one year older b. five years older c. one year younger d. five years younger 5. Estelle appeared as her Golden Girls character Sophia Petrillo-Weinstock on five different TV shows.

Which of the following was not one of them? a. The Golden Palace b. Empty Nest c. Blossom d. Copacabana 6. Estelle’s 1988 autobiography was titled If I Knew Then What I Know Now…______ a. So What? b. I’d Quit Acting c. I’d Live In Miami d. I’d Know It All 7. In 1991, Estelle nursed her 29-year-old _______ through hospice care until he died of AIDS, in 1992.

a. godson c. nephew

b. grandson d. neighbor

8. At the end of her life, Estelle was wrongly diagnosed twice before she succumbed to her actual illness this year, at age 84. What was her cause of death? a. Parkinson’s b. Alzheimer’s c. Lewy body dementia d. Lou Gehrig’s disease 9. After Estelle’s death, Lifetime TV asked viewers to vote for their favorite “Best of Sophia” episode of The Golden Girls. Which episode won? a. “Nice and Easy” b. “Adult Education” c. “Family Affair” d. “Old Friends” 10. Complete the following Estelle quote: “I’ve played mother to everyone but _______.” a. Attila the Hun b. my kids c. Jesus Christ d. Osama bin Laden

RETNA

c. Justin Bond

Answer Key: 1.a, 2.b, 3.d, 4.c, 5.d, 6.a, 7.c, 8.c, 9.d, 10.a 016 / BUST // DEC/JAN

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broadcast

hot dates THINGS TO SEE, PEOPLE TO DO December 4 – 7

The Steppers lookin’ cute on their parade route

ready, set, toe!

THE CAMEL TOE LADY STEPPERS SHAKE SOME ASS FOR MARDI GRAS

WOMEN’S INTERNATIONAL FILM AND TELEVISION SHOWCASE This international expo gives women directors, producers, and cinematographers a unique opportunity to promote their work to industry peers. A film’s world premiere traditionally kicks off the event, held in the West Hollywood, CA, Pacific Design Center, followed by panel discussions, seminars, four film screenings each day, and a special awards ceremony.

Proceeds from the event will benefit BYKids, a mentoring program that pairs master filmmakers with children aspiring to work in the industry. Learn more at www.thewifts.com.

December 6 and 13

Attention, stargazers! On GalaxyZoo.org, you can help astronomers solve the mysteries of the universe. Just log on, watch a tutorial, and you’ll be ready to start sorting through millions of telescopic space images. This past summer, 25-year-old Dutch schoolteacher Hanny van Arkel discovered a new class of astronomical object while on the site. What will you find?

THE BUST HOLIDAY CRAFTACULAR GOES GLOBAL This year is going to be an extra-special one for crafty gals coast-to-coast and across the pond, because we’re taking our legendary holiday shopping bonanza, the BUST Craftacular, to Los Angeles and London on December 6th before unveiling our fourth annual N.Y.C. fair at the Penn Plaza Pavilion on December 13th. Once the festivities hit New York, we’ll be hosting 250 oneof-a-kind vendors, plus a book signing by BUST fave Amy Sedaris, a craft beer garden, tasty food, and more! Be sure to check for updates on all three cities at www.bust.com. See you there!

December 16 – 19, 22 – 23

LAND OF THE SWEETS: THE BURLESQUE NUTCRACKER Seattle audiences will be going into sugar shock this winter as burlesque beauty Lily Verlaine and host Jasper McCann return to the Triple Door theater for the third installment of their “spectacle of ecdysiastic pageantry set to a swing-era soundtrack that gives ballet a bawdy makeover.” Shaking up the holiday classic The Nutcracker with “the perfect mix of singing, acrobatics, glamour, and smutty jokes,” Land of the Sweets sure sounds fun, but maybe not for the whole family. Intrigued? Then shimmy over to www.thetripledoor.net for tix.

Through February 8

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE: BUILDING A FEMINIST ART COLLECTION Now on display at the Brooklyn Museum, this exhibition of nearly 50 works by Kiki Smith, Tracey Emin, Tracey Moffatt, Lorna Simpson, and more, features a diverse array of groundbreaking pieces, proving that “feminist art” is not an aesthetically limiting genre but a broad term, encompassing all methods and viewpoints related to the female experience.

Find out more at www.brooklynmuseum.org.

[COMPILED BY EMELYNE SMITH]

PHOTO COURTESY OF SHELENE ROUMILLAT

“LET’S FACE IT, having fabric crammed up your vadge is actually pretty uncomfortable,” says Shelene Roumillat, costume designer for The Camel Toe Lady Steppers. But as any Toe will tell you, the power of this New Orleans–based, all-female dance collective goes way beyond the cut of their clothes.

The group got their start (and unusual name) five years ago, when their Halloween costumes went awry. Planning to take their majorettethemed dance routine to the streets, they ordered gold lamé boy shorts and tops online. “After we tried the shorts on—let’s just say our name was born,” says Cynthia Garza, the group’s choreographer. Undeterred, they debuted with a signature cheer, “Hey! Ho! We got camel toe!” sparking a buzz among New Orleans’ revelers. “We never expected people were going to respond to us the way they did that night,” says Roumillat. “They were really into it!”

The Toes quickly assumed celebrity status on their flamboyant city’s parade circuit after that, taking a starring role in Muses, the all-women Mardi Gras parade, and growing to 35 members. These days, they also shake their sequin-covered booties with local bands and turn up in hot pink for political protests, but their annual Mardi Gras appearance in February is still the highlight of the Toe year.

The months leading up to the event are packed with costumesewing circles, dance practices, and a blowout fund-raiser. But these 20- and 30-something ladies, whose day jobs range from hair stylist to rocket scientist, are happy to balance it all. “The group has made us realize our potential in arenas outside our careers,” explains Garza.

“People aren’t used to seeing women own their sexuality like we do.

We’re all creative women, and the group gives us an outlet for that.”

Check out the Toes wherever they go, at www.myspace.com/cameltoeladysteppers. [CAROLINE GOYETTE]

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broadcast NEWS FROM A BROAD [BY LAURA KRAFFT]

pompoms get pummeled WE’VE GOT INJURIES, YES WE DO! WE’VE GOT INJURIES, HOW ’BOUT YOU? READY? OK! IT’S time to get those spirit fingers sparkling, because cheerleaders today need all the support they can get.

Gone are the days when cheerleading consisted of choreographed drills on the sidelines designed to encourage players to be aggressive. Now cheers include everything from Olympic-style tumbling to elaborate, touch-the-sky basket throws.

accounted for two-thirds of all catastrophic injuries among female high school and college athletes.”

Part of the problem seems to be that while demands on cheerleading have grown, it’s still not considered a sport.

As a result, it’s not subject to safety regulations, and coaches are not required to undergo standardized training. So

While cheerleaders do consistently rock some of the cutest outfits in sports, they’re also racking up some of the most extreme injuries.

Consequently, while cheerleaders do consistently rock some of the cutest outfits in sports, they’re also racking up some of the most extreme injuries.

According to a recent Washington Post article, “A growing body of evidence indicates cheerleading has become one of the riskiest athletic activities for women.” So risky, that the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research, which has been tracking sports safety nationwide for 25 years, reported that cheerleading 020 / BUST // DEC/JAN

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the next time you see a cheerleader and a quarterback walking arm-in-arm, consider that either they’re in love, or they’re both just injured.

IF YOU DON’T WEAR A RAINCOAT, DOES THAT MEAN IT WON’T RAIN? The Bush administration redefines contraception According to the National Organization for Women (NOW), one of the Bush administration’s last battles was recently introduced in the form of revised regula-

tions published in the Federal Register, allowing “doctors, nurses, and nearly anyone else employed in a health-care setting to deny women access to birth control, based on their own personal belief that birth control is immoral.”

Personally, I’ve always found the conservative Republican fascination with promoting abstinence while condemning contraception to be one of the more difficult contradictions for a political party that prides itself on championing small government. But worse than any ideological conflict is the fact that this regulation will seriously affect the 17 million low-income, uninsured, and underinsured women who use publicly supported reproductive health-care services. It will also affect state laws that require hospitals to provide sexual-assault survivors with access to emergency contraception.

So who does stand to gain from the new regulation? How about “crisis pregnancy centers,” those medical-looking facilities that are designed to resemble health-care clinics but offer only pro-life counseling as a reproductive health option. Overall, it’s about as useful a place for the Republicans to send our tax dollars as the war in Iraq.

AS GOETH HALLMARK, SO GOETH THE NATION? Finally, the perfect card for Ellen and Portia!

Sick of making homemade congratulatory cards for all those now-legalized lesbian weddings you’re getting invited to? Well, fret no more. Now when you care enough to send the very best, you can stop by your local Hallmark store and buy your friends their very own gaycentric, customized card.

According to The Los Angeles Times, “The nation’s largest greeting card company is rolling out same-sex wedding cards—featuring two tuxedos, overlapping hearts, or intertwined flowers, with best wishes inside. ‘Two hearts. One promise,’ one says.”

So what does that say about the nation’s acceptance of gay marriage if Hallmark is promoting it? Well, Hallmark is based in Kansas City, MO. If it plays there, couldn’t it play in Cleveland, OH, and Indianapolis, IN, and Oklahoma City, OK, and Omaha, NE, and eventually, Springfield, Everywhere?

ILLUSTRATION BY ELLIOT ELAM

10/24/08 1:43:45 PM

CRAFTS+COOKING+HOME+HEALTH

tie one on

HONOR TASTY KITCHEN TRADITIONS WITH THIS RECIPECARD APRON MANY MEMORIES ARE born in the kitchen, where favorite meals are made with care and recipes refined by grandmothers and great-grandmothers are passed on to younger generations. This apron is the perfect way to turn a well-loved dish into a wearable keepsake, by featuring the original format with which it was shared. If you »

PHOTO BY ALICIA PAULSON

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real life Excerpted from Stitched Excerpt

have a family recipe card with charming artwork, it’s fun to pick up on the colors or style in the fabrics you use. Not to worry if you only have some handwritten notes from your grandma about her legendary cinnamon buns. This project is no less special. Taking inspiration from the friend or relative who provided the recipe, choose fabrics she would’ve loved and worn. The cook’s magic is sure to follow you into the kitchen every time you tie it on.

Materials • Recipe card (to be horizontally oriented) • For pocket trim: 10" piece of 1⁄2"-wide double-fold binding • For recipe-card pocket: one 81⁄2" x 11" sheet of ink-jet printer–ready fabric • For waistband: one 20" x 6" piece of 1" gingham, cut on the bias (fabric A) • For ties: two 30" x 4" pieces of fabric A, cut on straight grain • For front top panel: one 10" x 17" piece of cotton print (fabric B—I used a polka-dot pattern) • For front bottom panel: one 10" x 10" piece of fabric B • For side top panels: two 10" x 17" pieces of cotton print (fabric C—I used a flowered pattern) • For side bottom panels: two 10" x 10" pieces of fabric A, cut on the bias • For trim: 21⁄2 yd of 1⁄2"-wide rickrack • Embroidery floss Finished size is about 19" x 22", with 29" ties, seam allowance 1⁄4", unless otherwise noted.

Instructions 1. To make the recipe-card pocket, using the custom settings on your scanner, scan your recipe card at about 600 dpi. Print your recipe-card image onto the ink-jet printer–ready fabric, and trim it to a rectangle 10" wide, with about 1⁄2" of margin between the text and the edges of the fabric.

2. Apply binding to the top edge of the pocket. With the right side of the unfolded tape facing the right side of the fabric, pin and stitch along the fold line. Turn the binding to the wrong side of the fabric, enclosing the raw edge. Handsew the folded edge down. Lay the pocket, right side up, on the right side of the front top panel, with the bottom edges aligned. Baste the pocket in place.

3. Use a running stitch along the top edges of the side panels (fabric C); then gather the top edges by pulling on the thread at each end, bunching up the fabric between the stitches until they are about half their original width. With right sides together, stitch the side top panels to the front top panel (fabric B) along the long edges. Press the seams toward the front top panel. With right sides together, stitch the side bottom panels

Time: Memory-Keeping in Time Projects to Sew and Project Share ffrom the Creator “Posie Gets Cozy” by of “Po Alicia Paulson (Potter Craft, November 2008).

(fabric A) to the front bottom panel (fabric B) along the side edges. Press the seams toward the front bottom panel. With right sides together, pin the bottom panel piece to the top panel piece across the width of the apron. Stitch, and press the seams toward the bottom.

4. Tack the rickrack along the long seams between the panels with small hand stitches, using 3 strands of contrasting embroidery floss. Hem the long edges of the side panels, turning under each edge 1⁄4" twice and stitching down the entire length. Then press under 1⁄2" along the bottom edge of the apron. Fold up the bottom of the apron to the back side so that the folded edge lies just above the seam line between the bottom and top panels. Stitch, right side up, on top of this seam line again, catching the apron hem in the seam. Tack the rickrack along this seam line with small hand stitches, turning under the raw ends of the rickrack to finish.

5. To make the waistband, press under 1⁄4" on the short edges.

Fold the waistband piece (fabric A) in half lengthwise, with wrong sides together, then fold the long edges in again toward the fold, and press.

6. To make one apron tie, gather the short edge of the tie (fabric A), leaving that edge unfinished (you’ll stick it into the waistband later). Hem the long edges and the remaining short edge, turning under each edge 1⁄4" twice and stitching. Turn the bottom corner of the short finished edge up to the back of the tie to make a 45-degree angle. Stitch across the top of the turned-under piece to hold the edge in place. Repeat for the second tie.

7. With the right side facing you, lay the top edge of the apron inside the folded waistband, making sure the waistband overlaps the apron by about 1⁄ 2", and pull up the gathers of the side panels so that the top edge of the apron is the same width as the waistband. Baste along the bottom edge of the waistband to hold it in place, making sure to catch both the front and the back sides in the stitches. Slide the gathered end of the ties into the side openings of the waistband, pulling up gathers to fit. Baste in place. Topstitch around the 3 edges of the waistband.

Remove the basting stitches. Love it!

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real life

scent of a woman GIVE B.O. A TKO WITH DIY DEODORANT

P.U. Think your shit don’t stink? Well, it won’t with a spritz or two of Poo-Pourri ($9.95 for a 2 oz. bottle, www.poopourri.net). Just spray the essential oil–based freshener in the toilet bowl before you go and no one will be the wiser. My friend carries a bottle in her purse for when she has to take a dump at work.

the joy of cybercooking WHIP UP SOMETHING SUBLIME WITH THESE LADIES ONLINE For babes who like to bake, broil, and baste, there’s a whole world of inspiration beyond the stodgy shelf of cookbooks. The Web is ripe with a fresh crop of talented ladies whose online cooking shows prove you can never have too many cooks in the (virtual) kitchen.

Nadia G. (pictured), the host of Bitchin’ Kitchen (www.bitchinkitchen.tv), offers a heaping spoonful of hilarity with her gastronomical wisdom. Featuring cheekily themed recipes, like “Break-up Brunch” and “Coming Out Coq Au Vin,” she’ll have you laughing so hard, you might not even realize you’ve made a delectable dish in no time flat. On Cooking with Rock Stars (www. cookingwithrockstars.com), Jen Robbins interviews a bevy of well-known musicians, including cover gal Jenny Lewis and St. Vincent, about their fave foods. While you might not learn all that much about cooking (news flash: an awful lot of rock stars are clueless in the kitchen), her guests divulge the few, often bizarre recipes—Doritos tacos! Pistachio pancakes!—they’ve managed to perfect. For a healthy alternative, Ani Phyo’s videos (www. aniphyo.com) offer easy, tasty, and nutritious dish how-to’s from the eco raw-food chef herself. The vegan Lucuma Ice Kream episode will make an uncooked believer out of the most hard-boiled skeptic. Ani also expounds on the health- and beauty-related benefits of her nutrient-rich ingredients—so you can keep your face glowing while you stuff it. [SIRI THORSON]

PHOTO [LEFT]: SARAH ANNE WARD; PHOTO [RIGHT]: MARTIN BOUGIE

I REALIZE NOT every gal wants to make her own deodorant. But here are a few good reasons why I tackled this project. I stink, conventional deodorant ingredients (parabens, artificial color and fragrance, sodium lauryl sulphate, and aluminum) freak me out, and the natural products rarely work for me—I’ve tried them all. I also thrive on the stick-it-tothe-Man feeling I get when I don’t need to purchase basic necessities that most people assume you have to buy. This recipe is the result of much experimentation, and though it doesn’t stop me from sweating—it’s a deodorant, not an antiperspirant—it keeps me from smelling like B.O. 100 percent. You can find all these ingredients at your local health-food store, herb shop, or online at www.mountianroseherbs.com.

In a double boiler (I use a glass measuring cup in a pot of simmering water), melt 3 Tbsp. organic (if possible) unrefined shea butter, 3 Tbsp. baking soda, 2 Tbsp. arrowroot powder or cornstarch, 2 Tbsp. organic unrefined cocoa butter, and 2 vitamin E oil gel caps (puncture and squeeze out the oil) as an optional natural preservative. Give it a good stir. When liquefied, remove the mixture from heat, pour into a 1⁄4-pint jar, and stir in 10 – 20 drops of your favorite essential oil (I used ylang-ylang and sweet orange). Place in the fridge for a few hours until solid. Then take it out, and let it come to room temperature (don’t store it in the refrigerator). The texture will be somewhere between a firm cream and a soft solid. To use, scoop out a pea-size amount with your fingers and apply to your armpit. Be gentle, especially after shaving.

A slightly wet armpit makes for easier spreading. This 1⁄4-pint jar will give you at least three odor-free months. [AMY KAROL]

AWantGood Egg a baby on board but can’t seem to make it happen? There’s a new option to try before signing up for uncomfortable and expensive infertility procedures.

In addition to ovulation predictors, the Conceivex Conception Kit ($299.95, www.conceptionkit.com) features a diaphragm-looking cap that holds semen right at the cervical opening to increase your chance of conceiving. No rubber gloves, needles, or basters.

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BUY OR DIY

good on paper GET A CARD ON WITH THESE DIY HOLIDAY GREETINGS ’TIS THE HOLIDAY greetings season, and in just a few weeks, mailboxes all over the country will be spilling over with Hallmark envelopes and photo cards featuring families in unfortunate holiday attire. So why not make one of these DIY cards to put a little originality into your well wishes?

Whether you go cute and quirky with a personalized thumbprint portrait (from crafter Sarah Neuburger of The Small Object), or retro with vintage photo-inspired sass (courtesy of MikWright), your friends and family will thank you. »

PHOTO BY SARAH ANNE WARD

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real lifeBUY OR DIY

Materials: 41⁄2" x 61⁄4" piece of card stock; ink pad (in ap-

it’s in the cards

propriate skin tone); scraps of fabric (for outfit); scissors; glue

BUY THESE SEASONAL SALUTATIONS FOR ALL PERSUASIONS [BY CALLIE WATTS]

THUMBS UP POSTCARD

stick; 2 – 3 pieces of text-weight paper (for hair and greeting); red and black pens or pencils; ruler; 4" x 5 3⁄4" piece of festive fabric (for frame); compass.

Instructions 1. Press your thumb onto the inkpad, and make a thumbprint

The Hand That Rocks the Dreidel When it comes to holiday greetings, Chosen Ones can deliver one with a retro spin ($16 for a pack of 10, www.popjudaica.com).

on the left or right side of your card a little more than halfway

Cut the Cards All true hustlers, whether they’re card sharks or Victrola players, will love these DIY paper-toy postcards by Monkey Design. They come flat, you make ’em pop ($2.95 each, www.rotofugi.com).

up—this will be your head. Make as many additional thumbprints as you will have people represented in the portrait (e.g., roomies, significant other). Use your pinky for smaller heads (e.g., kids, cats, dogs). 2. Dress and coif your characters.

Draw shapes for the clothes and hair onto the fabric scraps and paper. For the outfits, we cut separate pieces for arms, torso, and collar to create a pieced-together look. Cut out and glue to your card. With a pencil or pen, add two dots to each thumbprint for eyes, then draw a mouth and any other appropriate features. 3. With a ruler, measure the diameter of the circle you will need to frame your characters, making sure it’s small enough to cover the bottoms of their torsos. On the right side of your festive fabric, mark the center point of your circle. Using your compass, draw a circle with the correct radius. Cut out. Apply glue to the wrong side of your fabric and affix to the card so that your figures appear more or less centered in the circle. Smooth in place. 4. Print or handwrite your greeting on a piece of text-weight paper. Cut it out and glue to the front of your card.

SAY HAPPY HOLIDAYS THE RETRO WAY Materials: Entertaining, quite possibly embarrassing photos of family members or friends; utility knife or scissors; ruler; color-copier or scanner and ink-jet printer (optional); typewriter, rubber-stamp alphabet kit, or pen; glue gun or glue stick; 41⁄4" x 61⁄4" folded card.

Instructions 1. Select an amusing, holiday-themed vintage photograph (look for friends or relatives in loudly colored polyester, or engaging in questionable behavior). Trim the photo so it fits on the card. (Color-copying or scanning and printing your photo onto photo paper will preserve the priceless original.) 2. Invent a wry one-liner for the inside caption. (Example from card pictured: It’s sort of the one I wanted. But hell, I can always always render your lettering using a rubber-stamp alphabet kit or a pen. 3. Apply glue to the back of your photo, and center it on the front of your card, pressing firmly to adhere.

Adapted from Handmade Hellos: Fresh Greeting Card Projects from First-Rate Crafters (Chronicle Books, November 2008) by Eunice Moyle and Sabrina Moyle of Hello! Lucky Letterpress.

I Saw Zombies Dissing Santa Claus This hand-printed fright before Christmas is sure to bring a smile to your face ($3, tinaseamonster.etsy.com).

Agnostic Front Celebrating your own high holidays? These wishes work for everyone awesome on your list, even blackmetal stoners ($13 for a pack of 4, earmark.etsy.com).

Dove Letter Who says the holiday season’s gone to the birds? Deck your halls with a touch of Dutch ($4, www. dutchdoorpress.com).

SARAH ANNE WARD

regift it.) Type your pithy observation inside the card. You can

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Top left: Kate Strassman, bottom left: K.R.A.K., top center and right: scenes from Jen Garbee’s fave renegade restaurants, bottom right: Supper Underground

kitchen confidential

SUPPER UNDERGROUND PHOTO BY RANDY HO

RENEGADE CHEFS DISH ON HOW TO HOST A SECRET SUPPER CLUB

PUTTING THE ART back in dinner parties, underground restaurants are popping up in backyards, warehouses, and living rooms across the country.

By charging a “donation” fee and inviting friends, friends of friends, and even strangers via word of mouth and the Web, gals are turning regular dinner gatherings into eclectic, well-funded social affairs. If you know your way around the kitchen and have an itch to entertain, you can throw a secret supper of your own! Whether you serve a three-course, $20 BYOB meal of fancy mac ‘n’ cheese, meatloaf, and banana pudding, or a $100 eight-course tasting menu with tartare, confit, and wine, organizing an underground supper club can give you the chance to try your hand at being the chef of your very own “restaurant.”

Rebel Meal The antirestaurant movement isn’t new, but it’s recently exploded⎯eating in someone else’s home is the new eating out. “It’s a means to revitalize the idea of a dinner party,” says Norah (who, like others interviewed for this article, prefers to remain anonymous) of New York’s Whisk & Ladle Supper Club (www.thewhiskandladle.com), which she hosts regularly in her Williamsburg loft. “Ev-

eryone goes out to eat these days, and very few of my friends cook,” she explains. “But the formality of the dinner party creates a homespun community.” In addition to eating an awesome meal in an intimate environment, it’s this sense of community that motivates not only the hosts of renegade restaurants but also the diners who seek them out.

For those who like to play hostess, it’s the perfect way to plan a gathering without the money drain.

“I love to throw dinner parties, but I can’t afford to do the kind of entertaining I want to, meaning 5 courses for 12 people,” says Hannah Calvert. So the corporate consultant by day launched Supper Underground (www.supperunderground.com), which serves up to 30 diners in backyards and market halls around Austin, TX. Most renegade restaurateurs, in general, are skilled home chefs with a day job and a strong social bent, but cooking experience runs the gamut.

Stacie Pierce, of San Francisco’s art-driven OPEN Restaurant (www.openrestaurant.org), is a Chez Panisse pastry chef, while Chicks with Knives Sustainable Supper Club (www.chickswithknives. com) in L.A. is run by community-garden organizer Rachael and cooking-school grad Pace. Norah, a legal pro by day, considers Whisk and Ladle her // BUST / 027

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real life “consolation prize for going to law school instead of culinary school.” While you don’t need actual restaurant experience, a love of food is critical, and it certainly helps to have a culinary repertoire, ace networking muscle, and a bit of spunk.

Dinner Is Served Anyone who’s thrown a casual dinner party knows the amount of work involved, so turning your living room into an unofficial restaurant? That requires much, much more. “Start planning early, and enlist the help of anyone who shows an interest,” says Pierce. Choosing a date and location is a good place to begin. While some ladies serve up meals in their own homes, many rebel kitchens rove, adding to the mystery (and eluding the attention of the health department). A lot of underground chefs keep their identities and locations secret, since one of the perks (and risks) of cooking on the down-low is avoiding the expense and paperwork of taxes and food-safety permits that legit restaurants face. When establishing your courses, Calvert stresses simplicity. “Regardless of

how creative your menu is, be sure the food is easy to eat. Although we base our menu on seasonal ingredients from farmers’ markets, discount grocery stores and of course Costco are also great.” Decide whom to open your restaurant to, then take reservations from folks you know, people referred by friends, or, as your renegade restaurant gets more established, even strangers who’ve heard the word through foodie blogs and mailing lists.

By the day of your event, the more prep work you’ve done, the more smoothly your restaurant will run. Kate Strassman, a Milwaukee native who runs K.R.A.K., Kate’s Renegade Aboveground Kitchen (www.chezkate.com), out of her Brooklyn apartment, highlights organization, cleanliness, and practice. “Make everything as ahead-of-time as you can. And give yourself an hour before guests arrive to relax.

Enjoy the quiet of your sparkling, set-up house with food ready to go in the oven,” she says. “And have a cocktail!”

It’s not all wine-braised short ribs and rosewater crème brûlée, however.

“Please get familiar with basic food

safety and sanitation,” pleads Rachael of Chicks with Knives. Used cooking-school texts are helpful, as are one-to-two-day catering-licensing and food-handling classes, typically available through state licensing agencies.

Hostess With the Mostest “The key to a really great ‘underground’ is feeling like a guest in someone’s home,” says food writer Jenn Garbee. (She should know: her recent book, Secret Suppers, profiles 10 renegade restaurants nationwide.) That means being attentive to the details of hospitality. How to deliver?

Support staff is crucial, so tap your food network and enthusiastic friends to find gracious hostesses who will greet guests, offer drinks, serve your delicious eats, and perhaps most important, make introductions so your guests feel comfortable to chat and mingle. “Nothing makes me happier,” says Calvert, “than seeing a table of 30 people, who didn’t know each other a few hours before, laughing, talking, and enjoying an amazing meal together.” [TRACIE BROOM]

OLD SCHOOL

grandma butterworth’s trifle WHENEVER I SEE my grandma, she greets me with a hug and an English-accented “Hello, luv!” She grew up in the U.K., where she spent her days working in a laundry and her nights cutting a rug to the sounds of big bands. Culinarily, the Queen Mum’s country isn’t known for much, but when my grandma moved across the pond when my dad was a young’un, she brought along this tasty recipe for Christmas dessert—a layer of raspberry- and sherry-soaked cake, topped with custard and whipped cream. During wartime, when ingredients in England were scarce, she substituted Jell-O for custard and canned fruit cocktail for raspberries. But in honor of my grandma’s recent 88th birthday, I’ll be whipping up her indulgent, adults-only version this holiday season.

Start by making the custard. In a saucepan, heat 1 pint of heavy cream till almost boiling.

Meanwhile, in a bowl, mix 2 eggs, 1 Tbsp. of superfine sugar, and 4 oz. of cornstarch. Add a couple of drops of vanilla, then whisk in the hot cream. Heat the entire mixture very gently, stirring hard, until the sauce has thickened. Place plastic wrap directly on the surface and let cool. Tear a store-bought angel food cake or pound cake into chunks, and place in the bottom of a deep glass bowl. Add 1 defrosted and undrained package of raspberries, then lightly spread raspberry jam to taste over the cake. Gently mix the cake, raspberries, and jam. Drizzle 1 ⁄4 – 1⁄2 cup of sherry over the mixture, then cover the layer with your cooled custard. Refrigerate overnight. An hour before serving, whip a pint of heavy cream with 1 tsp. of vanilla and 1⁄4 cup of sugar until it forms stiff peaks. Spread over the custard, and decorate with rainbow sprinkles.

When you dish it, dig deep to get all three layers of goodness in one bowl! [LISA BUTTERWORTH] 028 / BUST // DEC/JAN

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EAT ME [BY CHEF ROSSI]

Take me away to Pom-aritaville

happy hour

GET SPIRITED AWAY WITH THESE PARTYRIFIC COCKTAILS

SERVING UP A signature drink at your holiday soirée is not only a classy way to entertain, but it’s also a simple way to save some money. Rather than dropping cash on bottles of vodka, gin, scotch, rum, and a million mixers, just serve beer, wine, and one deliciously easy-to-make cocktail instead. Tie it in with the theme of your menu or match its color to your party dress! Here are a few recipes to get you started.

Punch-Drunk Love This fabulous punch can be served in pitchers or a big retro bowl. Mix up 1 liter of dark rum, a ½-liter of brandy, 4 shots of peach schnapps, a ½-gallon each of apple juice and pineapple juice, 4 shots of Rose’s lime juice, 16 oz. of mango juice, and 2 drizzles each of vanilla extract and bitters. Top with about 2 cups of ginger ale. Add ice and sliced lemons, limes, and oranges.

Apple Bomb For a bubbly holiday drink, pour a shot of vodka and a ½-shot of Grand Marnier into a champagne glass. Fill with chilled sparkling cider and garnish with an apple slice.

PHOTO BY SARAH ANNE WARD

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Pom-arita Pour 1⁄3 of a 1-liter bottle of gold tequila and just as much pomegranate juice plus a splash more into a large pitcher filled with ice. Stir in 6 shots of Cointreau or triple sec and the juice of 2 limes. For a touch of fancy, run a lime around the rims of your serving glasses and dip them in salt.

Pineapple-ito Everyone loves traditional mojitos, but they take too long to make, especially when you’re serving a crowd. Try this easy twist instead.

Throw a handful each of mint and sugar into a tall pitcher, then load with ice. Fill 1⁄3 of the pitcher with white rum or vodka, 1⁄3 with pineapple juice, and 1⁄3 with club soda. Stir in the juice of 2 limes.

Fruity Virgin For those off the sauce, whip up this tasty bev.

Fill 1⁄3 of a tall pitcher with pineapple juice, 1⁄3 with cranberry juice, and 1⁄3 with orange juice.

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real life MOTHER SUPERIOR [BY AYUN HALLIDAY]

movin’ on up MANEUVERING THROUGH THE MIDDLE-SCHOOL MINEFIELD firmly into their ear holes.

With all those freedoms at her disposal, it’s sort of a shame that Inky is a willing gym-period participant. On the other hand, her sporty attitude may save me from having to shell out for an iPod right away. She’s interested in having one, of course, but before I start agonizing about whether a retrofitted, previously owned model is the latterday equivalent of imitation Docksiders from Thom McAn, I’m waiting to see if the cell phone her father and I felt compelled to equip her with ends up going

When I was a girl, lack of coordination and inclination were crosses to be borne, not an open invitation to stroll the perimeter, making idle chitchat with one’s fellow bumblers. the same way as the two lunchboxes, three jean jackets, and untallied coldweather accessories that vanished on her watch last year.

Besides, what’s she going to put on it? The scratchy old Danny Kaye records I hauled home from the thrift stores when she and her brother were still tiny enough to be carried simultaneously, one on each hip? They’re still topping

ing plenty of sanitary napkins, straighttalking teen sex guides, and a pair of acid-green, extra-funky high-tops that we both suspected might be cool. My fingers stayed crossed until we received confirmation that we’d guessed right. It would have killed me to see them demoted to hideous gym-uniform status, a pumpkin that was never a coach, a trial to be endured.

AYUN HALLIDAY

MIDDLE-SCHOOL GYM class ain’t what it used to be, thank God. Inky has no idea how lucky she is. Imagine making it all the way through adolescence without once having to parade before the boys in a reeking uniform designed to both expose and emphasize all of one’s most tender flaws. There are no gym uniforms at Inky’s new school. As long as the kids have their sneaks, they’re good to go. Even more bewitching to a stillsmarting survivor such as myself, there’s no forced participation. If you’re not into whatever organized sport the teacher’s got planned on any given day, you can opt to spend the period ambling round and round an elevated track overlooking the playing floor. The iron-willed, pit-bull-shaped enemy of the arts who set me up for premature arthritis when she ordered me to walk off a dislocated knee sustained in her class would be appalled. When I was a girl, lack of coordination and inclination were crosses to be borne, not an open invitation to stroll the perimeter, making idle chitchat with one’s fellow bumblers. How times have changed. These days, those feeling antisocial on top of unathletic can circle the mezzanine with their iPod buds jammed

her charts, possibly because her mother long ago placed her in a commercialfree tower, where even Hannah Montana and the High School Musical gang couldn’t find her. Too bad. If she’d listened to what everybody else was listening to when they were still listening to it, maybe she’d be striking out on her own by now. Instead, she’s content with Danny Kaye, a couple of musicals I’m related to by marriage, and an innuendofilled pop confection dear to her rebellious younger brother. The refrain warns of love’s effect on those who suck too intemperately upon their lollipops.

Speaking of sucking, Inky gets this smug expression on her face whenever she busts in on me and another adult whispering about the assorted miseries of our middle-school days. I’m not sure whether she’s gloating because she thinks her own experience is certain to be better, or because she’s already cleaved to the notion that middle school sucks for everybody. It’s an impression I was trying to avoid giving.

Unless I’m growing foggy with age, it wasn’t all bad. There was that time my mother finally let me get my ears pierced, and all the hours Debbie and Marjie and I spent at the mall. Friends are important. I wonder which of Inky’s elementary-school set will be the first to get the ax. Hopefully, it won’t be her, though I’d be equally horrified to hear she was leading the charge against somebody else. There are some eventualities that defy advance preparation, though I do what I can, stockpil-

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FASHION+BOOTY

jen ng PHOTO EDITOR/PRODUCER & STYLIST How would you describe your style? I would say colorful, I think that’s definitely my trademark. I used to dress like a Harajuku girl, lots of clashing patterns, lots of colors. But then I started wearing more black, and it was the accents that became colorful. Let’s talk about this outfit. What do you have in your hair? It’s a black lace headband I got on clearance from Urban Outfitters for like $1.99. I actually got the necklace at a BUST Craftacular for roughly $69. It’s by the Hand of Fatima. I got the top for $2.99 at a trendy, teenybopper store. You have to dig, but every now and then you can find a classic piece. The skirt I bought from a woman named Barbara who sells clothes on the corner near the Lorimer subway stop [in Brooklyn]— they’re usually sample-sale rejects—$12. You seem like a bargain shopper. Well, yeah, I kind of have to be [laughs]. But I think it’s also fun; you feel good ’cause you’re beating the system.

The belt is a cummerbund I got from a thrift store in Milwaukee. And your tights? They’re two layers. The bottom is a solid electric-blue pair from the Sock Man. Over it is a pair of fishnets. They’re black with a red seam going down the front that I got for $4.99 from a TJ Maxx– like outlet store. I thought maybe you were wearing them backward. They are backward!

The shoes I got at Nordstrom for $33, on the clearance rack. Do you have any fashion icons?

I really like Vivienne Westwood. And Betsey Johnson’s cool too. What inspires your look? I think about what makes a good photograph. For me it’s something whimsical or surprising—so if I’m wearing all black, I might want a headband that’s bright yellow. I treat each outfit as a composition, like an art piece. [LISA BUTTERWORTH]

PHOTO BY ERIN BARRY

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FASHIONISTA

oh, dear BIANCA BENITEZ MAKES CLOTHES FOR HEAVENLY CREATURES

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“I HOPE TO flatter a woman’s figure without showing all the goods!” says Bianca Benitez, laughing, when describing her charmingly feminine SoCalbased line, Dear Creatures. “I want them to be able to turn heads with their style.” Which is exactly what her adorable first collection of nostalgic-yetfresh blouses, frocks, and graphic tees has been doing. Though Dear Creatures just launched this fall, it’s already caught the attention of cover gal Jenny Lewis and indie fashion icon Zooey Deschanel (who wore Benitez’s Vashti blouse to the Democratic National Convention), thanks to its vintage-style-forthe-modern-gal aesthetic.

Benitez’s living/work space in downtown L.A., where I’m visiting her on a typically warm California day, reflects this same vibe. In addition to boxes spilling over with clothes and piles of samples, the contemporary loft sports thrift-scored décor and vintage furniture. The sweet-natured, petite designer pours me a glass of white wine and tells me sheepishly that she had taken the previous day off work to celebrate her 25th birthday at Disneyland. Considering that she handles nearly every aspect of Dear Creatures, from marketing to quality control (“I personally oversee everything that

gets shipped”), that’s a pretty big deal, though obviously well deserved.

“I never thought of myself as a designer,” says Benitez, punctuating the statement with her infectious laugh, “but I always had an interest in fashion.” In fact, after majoring in visual communications at the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising, it was her knack for style that got Benitez an interview at U S Rags. The small clothing company hired her as an assistant designer, and she quickly moved up, taking over the women’s line while learning on the job. The technical aspects of design and the business knowledge she obtained helped her to launch Dear Creatures. The fall collection features classic pieces in muted blue and brown, with charming details inspired by Scandinavian folk art. The upcoming spring collection is sweet and flirty, with patterned rompers, plaid smock dresses, and blousy tops: very Valley of the Dolls meets midcentury Americana. “I don’t want to be a ‘what’s hot right now’ kind of designer, I want longevity,” says Benitez. “My focus is to reinterpret the classic and make it wearable.” Dear Creatures may be fresh off the sewing machine, but it will surely be on the racks for many seasons to come. [LISA BUTTERWORTH]

HAIR: TARA JEAN WITH BARRACUDA; MAKEUP: ELIVEN QUIEROS

Bianca Benitez shows off her rack

PHOTO BY YUDI ECHEVARRIA

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FASHION CRAFT

hats for lasses CRAFT YOUR OWN BEAU CHAPEAU

HAIR: KATSUMI MATSUO; MAKEUP: CANDICE FORNESS; MODELS: [RIGHT] LARISSA @ ROCKET GARAGE AND [LEFT] COURTNEY @ Q MANAGEMENT

HEADGEAR IS BACK in a big way, especially fascinators (small headpieces often adorned with feathers), first popular in the early 20th century, and pillbox hats, a classy staple of the early ’60s. Luckily for fashionistas on a budget, these toppers are easy and inexpensive to make. Here’s how. »

PHOTO BY GLYNIS SELINA ARBAN

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looks Fascinator Street The main element of your fascinator will be velvet-ribboncovered buckram, so start with 3 yards of 2"-wide velvet ribbon and 2 yards of 4"-wide buckram (found at most fabric/trimming stores). Cut the buckram to 11⁄8" wide. Cut the ribbon in half and lay together, right sides facing. Pin the sides and pin one end of the buckram to one end of the ribbon. Sew a 3⁄4" hem along both sides of the ribbon and secure the buckram. Turn the tube right-side out by rolling the ribbon over the buckram (attaching a safety pin to the other end of the buckram will make this easier), pushing it down and smoothing it out. Trim any excess buckram, and whipstitch shut. Take the whip-stitched end and fold 6" of the ribbon up to make a loop and pin. Continue making loops, molding them in a circle, and pin in the center. When you have about 15" of ribbon left, make one larger loop, leaving a 5" tail. Pin this loop into itself, creating 2 loops that lie somewhat flat, then pin these evenly onto the tail, creating the side band of your fascinator. Then flatten a bottom loop that is in line with the tail, creating a headband-like shape. Arrange the decorative loops to your liking, and test the placement of your feather embellishments (see below) before completing the next step. Flip the hat over, stitch the center of the loops together, and sew down the bottom of every loop. Remove the pins. Stitch the sides of the loops together anywhere they touch, to maintain the shape. Using 2 fan feathers for the side embellishment, apply fabric glue

to both sides of each feather base, and affix them inside the flattened loop so they protrude on each side. Let dry. Glue a feather bunch to the center of the hat. To create the base, cut a 2"-wide circle out of heavy paper and another out of cotton fabric. Glue the circles together, let dry, then glue to the underside of the fascinator.

Hat-Shaped Box Begin with a pillbox hat frame (available at most millinery or wedding-supply stores) and a yard of thick fabric (we used leopard print). Trace the top of the frame on the wrong side of your fabric, and add an inch all the way around. Cut out and make 3⁄4" snips 1" apart around the perimeter. Using fabric glue, secure the fabric to the top of your frame, gluing and smoothing each tab down, overlapping as you go. Let dry. Cut a piece of fabric to the width of the frame’s side plus 1 1⁄ 2" and long enough to wrap all the way around the frame. Cut strip in half. Sew a 3⁄4" hem along one side of each piece. Make three equidistant 1 1⁄ 2" snips along the unhemmed sides. Carefully glue the two pieces around the frame so the ends meet (one seam can be sloppy as it will be covered by an appliqué), lining the hem up along the top edge. Overlap the flaps on the inside of the hat frame so the fabric showing is smooth. Use binder clips to secure the fabric; let dry. Glue feathers over the imperfect seam, secure with a binder clip; let dry. Glue a flexible appliqué over the base of the feathers; let dry. [ CALLIE WATTS]

test kitchen [ THEIR PRODUCTS, OUR INTERNS ] Elgydium Whitening Toothpaste, $6.99, www.

drugstore.com

Honeycat Cosmetics On the Prowl Peach Brandy

Shower Gel, $16, www. honeycatcosmetics.com s.com

TheBalm Balms Away Eye Makeup Break-Up,

$19, www.thebalm.com

TONIA

ANDIE

AMY

This French import tastes like toothpaste from a health-food store and looks like something a dentist would prescribe for medicinal purposes. It didn’t noticeably make my teeth look whiter (but does toothpaste ever, really?).

I’m superpicky when it comes to putting white ooze in my mouth, but this paste takes the cake! The peppermint flavor has an added hint of fennel, which makes for a brushing experience that is way delish.

I have a really bad habit of forgetting to brush my teeth, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that after a couple of sporadic uses, my chompers actually did look a little bit whiter. I’ll definitely keep using.

I was stoked that many of Honeycat’s products are all-natural, and this shower gel made my skin feel nice and soft. Not to mention it smells delicious and gets brownie points for reminding me of a brandy cocktail.

Honeycat’s body wash had me smelling mad sweet in the shower, and it’s full of enough yummy-for-your-skin ingredients, like shea and mango butter, that I could overlook the ammonium laurel sulfate. It left me silky smooth.

This stuff looks and smells just like a bottle of Boone’s Farm, which brought back some gooood memories. And it really does get you clean. It’s like having all the fun of last night without the dirty, icky feeling of tomorrow!

This makeup remover comes in a lovely blue tin with a 1920s-style lady on the lid, so it’s almost too cute to stash away in a medicine cabinet. And it took all my waterproof liquid liner off in one go.

The idea of putting a greasy substance on my sensitive skin made me a little anxious— balm-induced breakouts do not sound awesome. Luckily, this stuff actually worked really well and only left my eyes feeling supersoft and moisturized.

As someone who wears a lot of eye makeup, I was really hyped to use this, especially because it comes in such a pretty container. Unfortunately, it felt a bit greasy and didn’t do much for my crusty eyeliner.

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PAGE O’ SHIT

yogi’s choice THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO OM [BY CALLIE WATTS]

PHOTO BY SARAH ANNE WARD

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Clockwise from top left: Downward Hedgehog The cutest mat pack you could ever sling on your back ($29, www.yakpak.com). Wash Your Step You’ll sweat this all-natch, lavender-and-tea-tree-oil antibacterial mat spray ($7.95, www.kathys-family. com). Valley of the Dolls This mat gets the Pillitzer Prize for most relaxing ($85, www.plankdesigns. com). Stick It to the Mat Stick-e socks will have you falling head over heels, with your feet planted firmly on the ground ($19.95, www.yogastickysocks. com). Guns and Poses You won’t have to shoot your load to score these yoga pants ($34, www.modelcitizenclothing.com). Heat Wave While Power Yoga for Happiness 2: The Surf Edition isn’t Bikram, the DVD’s instructor is pretty foxy, so you may get just as hot ($24.99, www.eoinfinnyoga.com).

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looks

bag lady ESTELLE TIPS US OFF TO WHAT MAKES HER LOOK SHINE

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: KISSABLE COUTURE LIP GLOSS IN CHRIS, $22, WWW.KISSABLECOUTURE.COM MAC PRO LONGLASH MASCARA IN PITCHBLACK, $12, WWW.MACCOSMETICS.COM MAC EYE KOHL IN SMOLDER, $14.50, WWW.MACCOSMETICS.COM

PRODUCT PHOTOS: CHRISTINE BLACKBURNE; ESTELLE PHOTO: ANDRES REYNAGA

U.K. SOUL SENSATION Estelle, who has a killer voice and a style to match, has been a big deal across the pond since her first album debuted in 2004. But with her recent sophomore release, Shine, folks in the States finally got a taste of the 28-year-old’s infectious R&B. Estelle pairs her polished sound with a classy look, and she gave us a peek at the everyday prods she uses to get her natural-looking glow. Since she takes some musical cues from the ’50s and ’60s, it’s no surprise that her makeup is inspired by the women of those same eras, like fashion designer Mary Quant, originator of the miniskirt. As for the secret to her radiance? “Cleanse and moisturize, put on the main bits of makeup before you get in the shower, then touch up when you get out— makes you look dewy and fresh!” [LISA BUTTERWORTH]

BOBBI BROWN MOISTURE RICH FOUNDATION SPF 15 IN WARM WALNUT, $42, WWW.BOBBIBROWNCOSMETICS.COM MAC SHEERTONE BLUSH IN GINGERLY, $18, WWW.MACCOSMETICS.COM

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AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 GIRLS [#35] Follow your feet down River Street

Have a lark at Forsyth Park

savannah, georgia SOUTHERN COMFORT ABOUNDS IN THIS PRETTY HOSTESS CITY [BY JESSICA LEIGH LEBOS]

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PERHAPS IT’S THE moss-curtained oaks and antebellum architecture, or maybe it’s the way you can legally walk down the street with a cocktail to go, but whatever the reason, Savannah has a way of slowing a gal down. Established in 1733 as Georgia’s first city, Savannah has shady squares and a coastal breeze that have always invited relaxation and romance. Winters are mild, summers are sultry, and flower power rules: fuchsia camellias start popping up in December, and February through April, the whole city throbs with the pinks, reds, and whites of thousands of azalea bushes, while May brings the scent of dinner-plate-sized magnolias to the air. Savannah’s a city with stories to tell, and there’s a lazy porch with your name on it if you care to sit awhile. But if you’re game, there’s also plenty of adventurous exploring to be had.

First off, bring your flats, ’cause this is a walking city. Meander around the historic district and its 24 aforementioned squares, and sooner or later you’ll end up on River Street. Look past the T-shirt shops and souvenirs to the waterfront cobblestones and old cotton warehouses for a glimpse of an era when pirates anchored off this bluff (for a better view, catch the free ferry across to Hutchinson Island), then climb the stone stairs to bustling Broughton Street. For pretty paper goods and arty notions for your abode, there’s no place

like @home (320 W. Broughton St.). Be sure to stop into Civvies (22 E. Broughton St.), a buy/sell/ trade vintage-clothing wonderland whose owner occasionally electrifies the space with the steamy swamp rock of her band Hot Pink Interior.

Literary groupies will dig the Flannery O’Connor Childhood Home (207 E. Charlton St.), where the beloved author of A Good Man Is Hard to Find taught a chicken to walk backward, bringing the then-five-year-old local fame long before her astounding prose. Down the lane, legions of gals in green pay homage to the founder of the Girl Scouts at the Birthplace of Juliette Gordon Low (10 E. Oglethorpe Ave.), a gorgeous fourstory home chock-full of Victorian-era antiques and artwork. Thanks to the Savannah College of Art and Design, there are plenty of galleries to peruse.

Don’t miss the Telfair Museum (121 Barnard St.), a collection of classical art housed in a grand mansion, and its hipper little sister, the contemporary Jepson Center for the Arts (207 W. York St.). Take home amazing, affordable pieces from shopSCAD (340 Bull St.) and Savannah ArtWorks (240 Bull St.). If you’re suddenly struck by the urge to serge, get your craft on at nearby Fabrika (140 Abercorn St.), where you’ll find fine apparel fabrics, oodles of vintage buttons, and sewing machines available to rent by the hour. To satisfy any other urges, you can PHOTOS BY JADE MCCULLY

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It’s the cupcake way at Back in the Day

Get a taste of the past in the Historical District

head a bit further south to Joker’s Novelties (111 W. DeRenne Ave.), a clean, well-lighted place for adult toys owned for over 30 years by a mother/daughter team.

If all this walkin’ has your dogs barkin’, treat your tootsies by flagging down one of the foxy boys and girls from Savannah Pedicab for a cruise around Forsyth Park ($10 – $25).

Locals and inked-up art students gather in this vast green space all year round for soccer, frisbee, alfresco concerts, socializing with their canines, and lounging beneath the sleepy old oaks. At the south end of the park, there’s a nexus of progressive minds where the Sentient Bean (13 E. Park Ave.) offers free-trade coffee and vegan treats.

You could eat three square meals a day for a month and still not make a dent in Savannah’s restaurants, but for breakfast it’s hard to beat the blueberry pancakes at Firefly (321 Habersham St.). Grab a lunch of black-eyedpea cakes and fried green tomatoes at B. Matthews Eatery (325 E. Bay St.), or nosh an artichoke-asparagus-hummus panini in the Victorian livingroom of the Starland Café (11 E. 41st St.) followed by an old-fashioned cupcake from Back in the Day Bakery (2403 Bull St.).

For dinner, Cha Bella (102 E. Broad St.) boasts

B. Matthews has good southern chews

an organic menu featuring fresh herbs from its garden. Of course, the official meal ’round these parts will always be barbecue—Blowin’ Smoke (514 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.) packs pulled pork and fried pickles, and Wall’s BBQ (515 E. York Ln.) is literally a hole in a wall—with a tangy crab sandwich known far and wide.

As the stars begin to shine, work up a sugar buzz with homemade desserts amid the retro-glamtastic atmosphere of Lulu’s Chocolate Bar (42 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.)—the crème brûlée sampler paired with a chocolate vodka Lulutini is holy freakin’ heaven. Dance it off later at Club One (1 Jefferson St.), a GLBTand-everyone-else hot spot home to iconic drag queen The Lady Chablis, or LiveWire Music Hall (307 W. River St.), which has a band on stage every night of the week. For an outrageous evening with fierce chicks on roller skates, catch a Savannah Derby Devils match (check their schedule at www.savannahderby. com). For listings of current events, pick up Connect, the local alternative newsweekly, and skirt! magazine always highlights happenings for hip ladies.

It’s no secret that Savannah is seriously haunted. The world was introduced to Bonaventure Cemetery (330 Bonaventure Rd.)

Make your digs divine with finds from @home

If coffee’s your thing, try the Sentient Bean

in John Berendt’s best-selling Southern gothic exposé of murder and intrigue, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil; get yourself a copy from indie lit haven E. Shaver, Bookseller (326 Bull St.). There are plenty more ghost stories buried ’neath these old streets, and according to the Haunted Pub Crawl (www.ghostsavannah.com), at the bars, too. Wear clean undies for Sixth Sense Savannah’s creepy walking tour (www.sixthsensesavannah.com), ’cause it might scare the pants off you!

You may not be able to afford a stay at the majestic Mansion on Forsyth Park (700 Drayton St.), but even paupers can check out the fancy lobby and the on-site Bohemian Gallery.

A better budget-conscious bet is the Thunderbird Inn (611 W. Oglethorpe Ave.), with its cheeky homage to ’60s design.

Now, y’all need to keep in mind a few tips: that Georgia charm is authentic, but keep your purse strapped and your wits about you. If you order “tea,” it will come cold and sweet enough to rot your teeth. And yes, the moss is pretty, but don’t touch it: it hosts invisible bugs that’ll itch ya like crazy. Now you know it all—if you like your travel steeped in history, mystery, and a whole lotta quirk, Savannah’s your spot for a Southern sojourn! // BUST / 039

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ACID QUEEN B Y M O L LY S I M M S

IT’S 12:30 P.M., and Jenny Lewis has just woken up. I’m waiting for her in a café on the ground floor of a swank New York hotel, and suddenly she’s in the doorway, only a few minutes late but looking wary and sheepish. Her tangled red hair is coming out every which way underneath a wide-brimmed hat. The sleepy-eyed singer sits down next to me and orders a teapot of plain hot water as she fishes a teabag out of her purse. If she’s a bit out of sorts, it’s easily excusable. The night before, Lewis was the featured guest on an episode of the television show Spectacle, the new Elvis Costello performance/talk show on which the rock legend grills some of his all-time favorite musicians about their work. “I have a hard time talking about my songs anyway, but Elvis was really going in-depth about some of the songs I’ve written over the years,” she says, in bemused awe. “All I could do was zone out and think, ‘Wow, this guy is operating on a totally different level.’ It was pretty mind-blowing.”

Yet it’s hardly mind-blowing to consider that a music heavy like Costello would want to analyze Lewis’ songs. She’s one of the best-loved and most respected female solo acts in the indie scene, a rare example of true talent in the hype-heavy music world. The Los Angeles–based artist, who turns 33 in January, began her music career with the acclaimed pop group Rilo Kiley in 1998 and released her second solo album, Acid Tongue, in September. With each successive musical shift she’s made, she’s proved she’s a performer to be reckoned with, a singer with a gift for vivid storytelling. Onstage, she’s mesmerizing—her heavily acoustic sets, in which she boldly lays herself bare through her lyrics, routinely awe crowds. (Some evidence of the devotion she inspires: Drew Barrymore wrote a song for Lewis, and previous BUST cover girl Sarah Silverman popped up in the video for her 2006 single “Rise Up with Fists!!” and recently opened for her in New York.) She’s got cred to spare, yet Lewis doesn’t take herself too seriously, as evidenced by P H O T O S B Y J E N N I F E R R O C H O L L / / S T Y L I N G B Y J E S S I C A PA S T E R H A I R + M A K E U P B Y T I F FA N Y J O H N S T O N

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VINTAGE DRESS: SHERENE

From her early acting career to her adult incarnation as an indie songbird, Jenny Lewis has never been afraid to follow her dreams wherever they led. Here, the Rilo Kiley frontwoman and current solo star talks about relationships—with her music, her father, and her fans

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DRESS: OPENING CEREMONY; JEWELRY AND HAT: JENNY’S OWN

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There’s a big difference between the brassy, countri ed tough girl her fans think they know and the actual Jenny Lewis. her penchant for spangly performance outfits and her musical forays into honky-tonk. But while her confessional lyrics would lead you to believe that no topic is off-limits, in person, Lewis is more withdrawn than I’d expected. She thoughtfully ponders her response before answering my questions and edits herself when necessary, careful about how she’s coming across. In the midst of one story, she stops short, saying, “Oh, I’m not going to get into this. Not because I don’t want to talk about it, but because I don’t have a good point to make.” Despite her reticence, a theme quickly emerges: There’s a big difference between the brassy, countrified tough girl her fans think they know and the actual Jenny Lewis.

In a way, it makes sense that Lewis would hold her cards close. She’s likely adopted that posture after decades in the limelight. It’s a badly kept secret that the indie troubadour was once a kid actress; her first job was a Jell-O commercial at age three. She’s said that she got into the acting business at her mother’s insistence; after her parents’ divorce, she and her mom moved from Las Vegas, where Lewis was born, to California.

Lewis’ cheery smile and red pigtails soon became a regular presence in ’80s flicks and television shows. She played a Girl Scout on The Golden Girls, popped up in one episode of Baywatch, and was Ben’s first kiss on Growing Pains. In 1989, she starred opposite Shelley Long in the campily fantastic Troop Beverly Hills and alongside Fred Savage in The Wizard. Though she took some worthy roles in her early 20s, in movies like Foxfire (1996) and Pleasantville (1998), Lewis didn’t become the bigname breakout actress many hoped she’d be, and she’s since said that she felt like a “failure” as an actress. The last entry in her IMDB resumé came in 2001 with the widely panned indie film Don’s Plum—after which Lewis dropped off the acting map.

She doesn’t look back at her childhood fame through rosecolored glasses. The title track from her folk-infused first solo album, 2006’s Rabbit Fur Coat, is a mournful autobiographical ballad about her life as a “100,000 dollar kid,” which scathingly recounts her not-so-enthusiastic entry into Hollywood: “A lady says to my ma, ‘You treat your girl as your spouse/You can live in a mansion house,’” she sings forlornly.

Lewis’ departure from acting didn’t mean she was waving the white flag. She was already hard at work writing and re-

cording with an indie pop band she’d begun in 1998 with some friends, including fellow former child star (and then-boyfriend) Blake Sennett—and it quickly became clear that music suited Lewis far better than acting ever did. Their group, Rilo Kiley, thrilled audiences with their sweet yet complex melodies and intricate, almost literary lyrics on their three releases, Take-Offs and Landings (2001), The Execution of All Things (2002), and Under the Blacklight (2007). Though she was only 22 when she first started recording with Rilo Kiley, Lewis’ lyrics and fullgrown vocals suggested that the perky kid actor had grown up into a world-weary lady who’d been hurried toward adulthood. Lewis insists, however, “I feel the same way now that I did when I was eight years old.” She isn’t exactly forthcoming with her worldview, but it’s clear she places a lot of value on personal accountability. After eight years with the group, Lewis began to explore a solo career, and Rabbit Fur Coat (on which she was backed by the Watson Twins), broadened her fan base; Rolling Stone declared that she was a “strong contender” for the crown of “Gen Y’s premier old-school singer/songwriter.”

But Lewis, who still performs with Rilo Kiley in between solo tours, denies that her decision to go solo had anything to do with fame. “I guess when you’re in a sort of family band, there’s a lot of underlying guilt and expectation,” she says. “But I think really I’m just following the songs, and if you listen to the music, I think my intentions are pretty clear. It’s never been about following the cash. It’s just about staying relevant and being able to continue to be creative and write music. If something stagnates, you can’t stay in it just for the sake of it. I think we all got into rock ‘n’ roll so that we wouldn’t have people telling us what to do. I don’t feel responsible to anyone but myself.”

That sense has paid off handsomely with Acid Tongue, a musically stripped-down but intricately guitar-heavy album in which Lewis experiments with various genres (country, folk, ’70s balladry). Her fans are clearly pleased with the result. One blogger recently gushed that Lewis’ songwriting routinely “leaves the listener gripped on her every word”; a critic called Acid Tongue a “confident amalgam of tracks that sparkle, stew, and storm.”

Acid Tongue is filled with cameos from fellow musicians—the Black Crowes’ Chris Robinson, Zooey Deschanel, M. Ward—but it’s the contribution from her father, musician Eddie Gordon, who exhibits his considerable harmonica talents, that really stands out. Gordon’s contribution made Acid Tongue a reunion of sorts for Lewis. In the years after her parents’ divorce, Lewis and her father fell out of touch, and it was only recently that they started talking again. Her voice gets soft and hesitant as she explains, “He was ill over the past couple of years, so we kind of reconnected. We’re getting to know each other now, and I thought it was a great time to have him come and participate in my life.

Music being the most important thing to me, I really wanted him to be a part of this record. Really for fear that he wouldn’t be around for the next one.” Working alongside a parent isn’t traditionally a relaxing experience, but Lewis found it tough in a different way. “It was a little embarrassing for me, because he // BUST / 043

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output—I’m really fortunate. But there have been suggestions made along the way that have truly made me cringe.” She declines to elaborate, saying only, “I don’t want to get into it,” but acknowledges that higher-ups have tried to influence both her music and her aesthetics, unsuccessfully. She rolls her eyes at the memory, and I sense she’s had her fair share of battles over the past 10 years. That, added to her childhood trip through the Hollywood wringer, must be what makes Lewis a little hard. She’s the kind of lady for whom the term “tough cookie” was invented.

Yet, even with her early start in entertainment, if you ask Lewis about her success, she’ll say she didn’t see it coming. “I was never one of those girls who imagined herself married with kids at 30. I knew I would be working in some capacity, but I didn’t know how.

I certainly didn’t imagine myself doing all the amazing things that I’m so lucky to be doing. I just can’t believe it. I feel so grateful. I mean, who let me do this? I was on Baywatch!” Those hoping Lewis might revisit her acting career, however, would be advised not to hold their breath. “I don’t think I’m a very good actress,” she says bluntly, adding, “I think I’ve become self-conscious as an adult. I tend to sort of shrink when a bright light is on me.” I remark on the oddness of that statement, given her current chosen profession. Lewis muses, “I know. It’s so weird. But somehow, I can sort of just block it all out when I’m focused on the song.” She clarifies, “When I’m performing, once the songs start, I feel great. But the moments between the songs feel like an eternity.”

That self-professed anxiety speaks to the disconnect between the stage version of Jenny Lewis and the one she sees in the mirror each night. Until she reconciles the two, there’ll likely be a tension between who she is underneath and the woman she presents to the fans. “Last night after Spectacle, this girl was waiting backstage at the Apollo, and she was just in tears,” Lewis recounts. “It was a heavy thing to come upon after you’ve had this long discussion on a television show. She was just sobbing, and she just wanted to thank me for writing songs that helped her through high school. And this doesn’t happen to me very often, but I really feel like I make a deep connection with people without meaning to do so. It’s weird.” B

“What a strange time we’re living in. I mean, you’re always just a click away from a porn site, and yet me in shorts is just too much for people to handle.”

VINTAGE DRESS: SHERENE

is a true musical genius and a harmonica virtuoso. And I’ve really just been faking it all these years,” she says, laughing. “Music theory–wise, I mean. So we brought him in and asked him to play these really simple parts, and he was so nice. But I think he was like, ‘C’mon, let me flex here. Let me show off.’ But he was so cool—just a really lovely, lovely guy.”

For Lewis, too, it was poetic that the two reconnected over their mutual love of music. “I mean, it makes sense, because we’ve all chosen music first over family or relationships, just throughout our lives. So it was kind of appropriate to use that as a way to get to know each other.” Such a habit is probably murder on one’s romantic life as well, though Lewis has had public (and seemingly happy) relationships with her Rilo Kiley bandmate Blake Sennett and with actor Jake Gyllenhaal, and is now living with her collaborator Johnathan Rice. When I ask if choosing music over relationships has ever posed problems, she answers tentatively, “I think, yeah. Whenever you focus on work, you miss out on certain things. But you know, it’s a balance. I think it’s very difficult being a successful woman in a relationship, particularly with someone who does the same thing you do. So I think it’s always a struggle to balance that—to be available emotionally and also pursue your work. You have to find the right person who’s going to stick with you and support you and not take it personally if you’re doing well.” She doesn’t elaborate on her current relationship, preferring to keep the conversation abstract.

It’s an understandable concern, since Lewis knows that attention comes with a price. She’s found herself criticized for numerous things—her relationships, her foxiness, her skimpy (predominantly vintage) stage outfits. In 2007, Esquire panted that she was a “temperature riser” who “gets the juices flowing,” attracting more attention to Lewis’ looks than she probably would’ve preferred. Lewis says she’s “gotten a few nasty comments [from fans] over the years. Almost like parental comments, that they’re so ‘disappointed,’” with whom she’s dating or what she’s wearing.

One blog even created a chart illustrating that Rilo Kiley’s music went downhill as Lewis’ hemlines went up. “What is this, the new ’50s? Are you kidding me?” she says, jokingly indignant. “I enjoy wearing hot pants. I didn’t wear shorts or skirts in my personal life until I turned about 18 or 19, because I was so weirdly shy about my legs. So when I became an adult, I decided that I would start wearing exclusively shorts and skirts. And then they got shorter and shorter in my 20s, because I thought that I could do it. I felt that it was my right to do so. And I love dressing up—that’s an extension of being a performer. What a strange time we’re living in. I mean, you’re always just a click away from a porn site, and yet me in shorts is just too much for people to handle.”

The clothing criticism especially chafes because it’s related to a larger double standard in the indie-music world. Lewis acknowledges that indie rock makes more room for female musicians than pop does, as long as they record the “right” kind of songs, like “a confessional piano ballad or a poppy, jangly, indie jam.” “When you step outside of that,” she says, “that’s when you open yourself up to criticism.” So has she ever come up against execs trying to control the direction in which she’s moving musically?

Reluctantly, she replies, “Yes. I feel pretty much in control of my

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Made with Love

Handcrafted gifts for everyone on your list IF YOU’D RATHER wield a pair of scissors than a credit card while crossing names off your holiday shopping list, this is the gift guide for you. Hand-make your way to a pile of presents your friends and family wouldn’t dream of regifting, with help from the crème de la crème of tutorials we’ve gathered from some ace DIY-ers. These projects are all kinds of easy and won’t break the bank, so cozy up and get craftin’!

COMPILED BY LISA BUTTERWORTH

Merry Terrarium You don’t need a green thumb to keep cacti alive, and since everyone can appreciate a garden, this totally cute, no-fuss terrarium makes a great gift that keeps on giving.

Materials Glass container (ones with large openings create the best conditions for succulents) Bag of small rocks (for drainage) Horticultural charcoal (available at most gardening-supply stores) Cactus soil Plants (we used 1" and 2" succulents; be sure to select cacti that require similar sun conditions) Landscape decorations (figurines, plant markers, etc.)

1. Into your container, evenly pour an approximately 21⁄2" layer of rocks (this can be adjusted depending on the size of your container). Then carefully pour in a 1" – 1 1 ⁄2" layer of charcoal. 2. Add a layer of soil thick enough to reach slightly higher than the midpoint of your container. 3. Arrange the succulents to your liking. Plant them and gently pack the soil surrounding them.

4. Add any other details to personalize the landscape. 5. Create a tag with instructions on how to care for the terrarium, specific to the succulents you’ve planted. Be sure to include their required sun condition and how often they need water. [LINDSAY STETSON THOMPSON, WWW.MSTETSONDESIGN.BLOGSPOT.COM]

PHOTOS BY ANDREW MCCAUL PROP STYLING BY MEGAN PFLUG DEC/JAN 046 / BUST // AUG/SEPT

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Jingle-Jangle Bangle Turning a bracelet from beastly to bangin’ couldn’t be easier. All you need is a little glue and some purty paper to decoupage your way to a most stylin’ gift.

Materials Bangle bracelets (wood bangles are available at most craft-supply stores, or use plastic ones from a cheap accessories store) One sheet of patterned paper per bangle (I used Japanese origami paper available at most craft- or papersupply stores) White glue or Mod Podge Scissors Paintbrush

1. Cut the paper into strips about 1⁄4" wide and long enough to wrap around the width of your bracelet. You’ll need about 30 – 40 strips to cover the entire exterior of the bangle. 2. Brush a light layer of glue on the inside and outside of a piece of paper and position on the bracelet, smoothing out any wrinkles. Repeat with each strip, slightly overlapping them as you work your way around. 3. Cover half the bracelet, then set it upright on its nonpapered side to dry for 3 – 4 hours. Finish the other half and let it dry. 4. Coat the covered bangle with glue or Mod Podge for extra protection. [BETSY LOWTHER, WWW.FASHIONISSPINACH.COM] // BUST / 047

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Dear Diary Whether they fill it with notes-to-self, doodles, or their deepest, darkest secrets, this mini-journal makes the perfect present for everyone including your secret Santa and your nana.

Materials Hot glue gun Cardboard or heavy card stock Fabric Paper Scissors 1. Start by cutting a 5" x 4" piece of cardboard or card stock, then fold it in half (like a card). 2. Cut a 6" x 5" piece of fabric. 3. Affix your material to the front by hot-gluing around the edges of the flattened cardboard and centering your piece of fabric on top, then fold the cover to make sure you didn’t adhere it too tightly. 4. Once dry, make diagonal cuts in the corners of the material that sticks out, so you can fold the excess fabric in. 5. Hot-glue a thin line around the edges of the cardboard; then fold the fabric and affix to the inside cover.

You may need additional adhesive where the fabric overlaps. 6. For your journal’s pages, cut a short stack of paper (I recommend using recycled printer paper, vellum, or watercolor paper) about 41⁄2" x 31⁄2". Cut with pinking shears if you want your pages to have zigzag edges. Fold the stack in half (like a card) and staple twice in the crease to hold the pages together. Be sure not to use too much paper or the cover won’t close. 7. Hot-glue a line down the center of the cardboard. Align the edge of your folded-paper pile with the crease; hold till dry. Further secure the pages by gluing the first and last to the cardboard.

8. Make the inside covers pretty by gluing origami paper or another piece of fabric over them. [SAMANTHA HAHN, WWW.SAMANTHAHAHN.COM]

Mighty Fly Deluxe Hot Chai Mix A cuppa hot chai is the spicy-sweet icing on the cake of a cold, wintry night, so everyone you know will appreciate this instant mix. Pair it with an adorable mug and you’ve got the prettiest gift combo of the season.

Ingredients Makes about three 1-pint jars 2 cups of superfine sugar 1 cup of instant white tea powder 1 cup of nondairy creamer 1 cup of instant nonfat dry milk 1 cup of Coffee-Mate Latte Creations (original or vanilla) 4 tsp. each of ground ginger and ground cinnamon 2 tsp. each of ground cloves, ground cardamom, and ground allspice 1 tsp. of white pepper 1. Mix all the ingredients in a large bowl. 2. To give your mixture a uniform appearance (some of the products are more granular than others), process it in a blender or food processor 1 cup at a time. 3. Store in airtight jars. 4. Make a tag with the following directions: To serve, put 2 Tbsp. in a mug and fill with boiling water. Wait a few minutes before sipping, to allow the spices to settle at the bottom. Now drink up! [HANNAH SIMPSON, WWW.ELECTRICBISCUITONLINE.BLOGSPOT.COM]

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Pour Some Sugar on Me Your friends can rinse the post-holiday blues away with this all-natural, deliciously scented sugar scrub that will leave their skin smooth as buttah.

POTHOLDER TUTORIAL FIRST APPEARED ON WWW.DESIGNSPONGEONLINE.COM

Materials 1 cup of raw sugar 1 oz. of sweet almond or avocado oil (available at most health-food stores) 1 ⁄2 tsp. of vitamin E oil (for preservative) Pure cocoa butter (optional, available at most health-food stores and some drugstores) Essential oil 1. Pour the sugar into a mixing bowl, and add about an ounce of oil (more if the gift is for someone with very dry skin, and less if you want a scrub on the dry side).

2. Mix in the vitamin E oil and a dab of cocoa butter if you like (it’s great for scent and nourishes the skin). 3.

Add a few drops of essential oil, keeping the gift recipient in mind. But don’t overdo it! Six drops an ounce is plenty. Make sure to mix thoroughly. Lavender is soothing, orange and lemon are invigorating, and ylang-ylang is quite romantic. Vanilla is also yummy. 4. Pour your homemade scrub into a pretty, clean jar with a tightfitting lid. 5. Add a cute label. [YAEL GRAUER]

Easy-Peasy Potholder Add a little kitsch to your favorite cook’s kitchen, with a super simple potholder you can sew up in an instant.

Materials Two 8" x 8" squares of thick fabric, such as canvas or bark cloth (no flammable synthetics!)

One 8" x 8" square piece of cotton batting (cut 2 squares for extra thickness) 36" piece of extra-wide double-fold seam binding Matching thread Scissors Iron Pins Sewing machine 1. Cut out your fabric and batting squares. Sandwich them together, with the batting in the middle and the fabric facing right sides out. 2. Pin your seam binding around your squares so that the raw edges of the fabric are covered, easing the corners into shape with the iron (this takes a little patience, but the corners will eventually lie flat when pressed). The tail end of the seam binding will be 4" longer than the perimeter of the potholder. 3. Stitch around the potholder close to the edge of the seam binding, making sure to catch the bottom layer. Stitch all the way up the tail of the binding. 4. Fold under the raw edge of the tail end of the seam binding 1⁄2" and press. Fold tail down to create a loop. Pin and stitch into place. [DEREK FAGERSTROM AND LAUREN SMITH, WWW.CURIOSITYSHOPPEONLINE.COM] // BUST / 049

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Mad Women Despite what you may have seen on AMC, the heyday of Madison Avenue advertising had its fair share of feisty females. And these dames made a lot more than just coffee B Y E R I N D E J E S U S “THE CHEF DOES everything but cook—that’s what wives are for!” proclaimed Kenwood’s 1961 advertisement for a new kitchen mixer called The Chef. The ad’s implicit sexism is anything but subtle: a beaming woman (wearing a chef’s hat, no less) hugs her husband from behind, apparently thrilled by her new kitchen appliance. It seems to be a product of its times, as highlighted by the Emmy-winning AMC series Mad Men, which depicts the advertising industry’s glamorous golden age by focusing on the chain-smoking, scotchdrinking good ol’ boys stereotypical of the 1960s American business world.

But believe it or not, the halls of the real Madison Avenue hold a rich history of powerful, successful, and influential Mad Women. From creating Clairol’s “Only her hairdresser knows for sure” to Alka-Seltzer’s “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” campaigns, female copywriters, creative directors, and advertising executives have had an impressive presence within the industry since its infancy—long before the women’s-lib movement. In a business where talent and creativity trumped stereotype, many ad alums say that advertising was far more accepting of women than other industries. “[Advertising is] a bit iconoclastic,” says Jayne Eastman, who has worked in the advertising industry since the 1970s. “[The acceptance of] women is just another example of an atmosphere that says, ‘Let’s get down to brass tacks; what do you have to say?’”

It may be hard to believe, but women were working in advertising before they even earned the right to vote. At the end of the 19th century, manufacturers began to recognize the spending power of women: in addition to purchasing “ladies-only” products like cosmetics, most women were also responsible for buying food and clothing for their entire families. To better appeal to the “female viewpoint,” retail stores, which often created advertising in-house, hired female copywriters in large numbers, and preconceived notions about women in the workplace took a backseat to the bottom line. In the 1920s, one of the most famous advertising slogans in America was written by one of these early pioneers. Helen Lansdowne Resor’s slogan

Image: Shirley Polykoff’s “Does she...or doesn’t she?” ad for Clairol, circa 1957 050 / BUST // DEC/JAN

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for Woodbury soap, “A skin you love to touch,” injected the first dose of sex appeal into American advertising, and Resor is also credited as the first woman to write a national campaign. Along with her husband, Resor founded the J. Walter Thompson ad agency, which included a first-of-its-kind women’s editorial department, employing women in both creative and executive positions. “[Resor] made a place in advertising geography for women, a place no advertiser or agency ever before had granted them,” writes Harriet Abbott in a 1920 Ladies’ Home Journal article. “She pioneered the way for women in advertising, marking a trail for which successful women today are grateful.”

In those early days of advertising, female copywriters usually specialized in selling directly to other women. Hired by retailers, they penned copy for beauty, fashion, and household products that capitalized on the average woman’s role as mother, housekeeper, and homemaker. As a result, says feminist scholar Jennifer Scanlon in her book Inarticulate Longings, early female advertisers broke barriers for women to enter the workforce, but through their copy, they also had a heavy hand in enforcing images of female domesticity. And for female workers, standard business practices still applied: even the groundbreaking women’s department at J. Walter Thompson segregated the office space by sex, as was common practice at the time. It also goes without saying that equal pay was not given for equal work.

But by the time the industry reached its glitzy cigarette smok-

ing, four-martini-lunching golden age (loosely defined as the two decades after World War II), manufacturers relied more on agencies to generate creative work. And as a result, the industry—in need of fresh viewpoints and ideas for both men’s and women’s markets—broadened to accept women in different roles. In the ’40s, Bernice Fitz-Gibbon, known by her colleagues as “the Fitz,” made an astounding $90,000 a year writing advertising copy for Macy’s and Gimbels department stores. In 1946, Jean Wade Rindlaub, who worked on campaigns for Campbell Soup and Velveeta, became one of the first female advertising executives when she was named vice president of the Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborn agency.

Though the industry was growing to accept women, true success required tenacity and a sense of optimism—something that Phyllis Robinson, one of the first female icons of Madison Avenue, had in spades. A graduate of Barnard College’s class of 1942, Robinson began a career as a playwright, but she was also intrigued by the advertising world. She broke into the industry by writing fashion copy for Grey Advertising, a major agency. It’s a testament to her self-assuredness that, although there were still very few successful women in the ad game, she wasn’t daunted by the prospect of breaking into the industry. “It seemed like a simple thing to do,” Robinson, now 87, says during a phone interview from her home in Manhattan. “I had done plays and musicals on and off Broadway, and advertising didn’t seem like anything special. I thought, ‘Oh, this too? What the hell. Why not?’” When Grey’s creative director

IMAGES COURTESY OF THE ONE CLUB

Clockwise from top left: Bernice “the Fitz” FitzGibbon; Phyllis Robinson at her desk at DDB in the ‘50s; Shirley Polykoff

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“Where you did feel sexism more was with the clients, because we were very frequently trying to convince a roomful of men.” —Jayne Eastman left to start the now-legendary Doyle Dane Bernbach agency in 1949, Robinson joined the new agency as copy chief.

At DDB, Robinson created iconic work for Polaroid and Volkswagen. But she’s best known for Clairol’s famous 1971 “It lets me be me” slogan, a line often credited with inspiring the narcissism of the “me generation.” The slogan, which cemented her place in the annals of advertising history, “came so simply and easily to me,” she says. “A writer is a writer. Whether you write great novels or you write funny papers, you just say, ‘Hmm, what’s a good idea? What should I do here?’ And then, ding! It comes to you.” Despite the awards and accolades generated by the Clairol campaign, Robinson looks back at her years at DDB nonchalantly. “We were on Madison Avenue,” she recalls. “I took the job, hired a lot of interesting people who did wonderful work for me, and that was that.”

One of those “interesting” people was Mary Wells Lawrence, who, by all accounts, went on to become one of Madison Avenue’s greatest heavy hitters, male or female. Lawrence, now one of the creators of www.wowOwow.com, a news and opinion Web site for educated, successful women, started her career in 1951, writing ad copy for McKelvey’s department store in Ohio. “Advertising just happened to me, like love,” Lawrence, now 80, recalls via email. “I was hired by a department store because I had been an acting student and performer, and the women who ran the advertising department thought that that was a good background for communicating with customers.

I went to work and never looked back. It was a perfect fit.”

Although Lawrence had worked several ad jobs by the time she met Robinson, she describes her 1957 interview at DDB, at age 29, as nothing short of awe-inspiring, comparing Robinson to “the lead angel in an opera” in her 2002 memoir, A Big Life (in Advertising).

“Seeing how overimpressed I was, she eased down into the role of a friend and did all she could to help me with the interview.” It worked.

A week later, Lawrence was hired at DDB, and seven years later, she left to join the progressive creative think tank Jack Tinker & Partners, where she branded Braniff Airlines’ slogan “The end of the plain plane” (and later married the aviation company’s president). When her bosses at Tinker refused to promote her because “the world is not ready for women presidents,” Lawrence quit on the spot and started her own advertising agency, Wells Rich Greene. By 1969 (a scant seven years after the second season of Mad Men is set, by the way), Lawrence was the highest-paid advertising executive in the United States, raking in $225,000 a year.

Lawrence and her team at Wells Rich Greene created dynamic campaigns for a wide variety of clients, including American Motors, Benson & Hedges cigarettes, and New York City (Lawrence collaborated with legendary graphic designer Milton Glaser to design the ubiquitous “I [heart] NY” logo and campaign). But with her highprofile success came scrutiny. As the first female CEO of a company listed on the New York Stock Exchange, Lawrence achieved a level of celebrity that inspired LIFE magazine profiles and incessant public questions about her marriage and home life. Gloria Steinem even publicly accused her of “Uncle Tomming her way to the top,” suggesting Lawrence got ahead by acting subservient to men.

Lawrence—who called Steinem a “silly woman” in her memoir— says she didn’t act subservient to men, but that she did downplay her femininity to get ahead. “I didn’t march or make speeches. I worked extraordinarily hard,” she says. “I wasn’t flirtatious. I wasn’t sensitive. I was deeply interested in my clients’ success and they always knew it. A lot of women worked this way at the time, and now, I imagine, most do.”

Perhaps surprisingly, Lawrence and many of her counterparts maintain that the advertising industry was overwhelmingly accepting of women. Female advertisers have “always been respected by men,” Lawrence says, because men appreciated “just how important women are as customers” and “that women are such easy communicators.” When asked if she ever experienced any sexism, Robinson replies without hesitation: “Not an iota. Not a whiff. No, I was totally accepted and saluted.” Eastman says that “while in any modern-day sense, there were not lots of women running things [in advertising], there were so many more than I was used to that it felt like breaking down gender roles was behind me.”

Even if the advertising world was accepting of women, however, sometimes its clients lagged behind. “Where you did feel sexism more was with the clients, because we were very frequently trying to convince a roomful of men,” says Eastman, who now works at Henry Rak Consulting Partners in Illinois. “There were more than one of those groups whose tendency was—whether consciously or not—to discount what you had to say because of your sex. And it’s much more subtle than just ‘She’s a woman so she can’t have much to say.’

It’s not like that. Largely what it turned out to be was that the kind of relationships men were brought up to have with other men, they didn’t know how to have those with women.” Eastman, who joined Wells Rich Greene in 1979 and worked alongside Lawrence for a number of years, found that her gender could actually be an asset when dealing with those clients. She recalls one heated meeting with a client, during which Eastman questioned the way he ran his business by quipping, “If anything you had ever done on this business had worked, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” “I don’t think a man could have gotten away with that,” she says now.

Thanks to their creativity, ambition, and raw talent, Robinson and Lawrence’s contemporaries also enjoyed similar success. Jane Trahey founded her own agency in 1960—her ads for Blackglama // BUST / 053

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furs, which featured celebrities in lush minks with the slogan “What becomes a legend most?” ran from 1968 to 1996. Paula Green, another Robinson hire at DDB, came up with Avis’ still-in-use motto “We try harder” and started her own agency in 1969. Reva Korda, who began her decades-long career writing for the Fitz, was named executive creative director of the Ogilvy & Mather agency in 1973. And most famously, advertising legend Shirley Polykoff, who became the Foote, Cone & Belding agency’s only female executive vice president in 1967, created Clairol’s cheeky “Does she...or doesn’t she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure” slogan in 1956.

The campaign helped change perceptions about women who dyed their hair (from “loose” to “liberated”), and sales of hair dye across the board jumped from $25 million to $200 million a year.

In her witty 1975 memoir, Does She or Doesn’t She? And How She Did It, Polykoff alludes to client resistance because of her gender. When The New York Times wanted to write a story about the success of the “Does she...or doesn’t she?” campaign, Clairol balked, despite the free publicity. “Clairol, who at the time had no women in the management hierarchy or in the product groups, thought it was unseemly for a woman to be the focus of the story,” Polykoff writes wryly. “But The New York Times decided to kill it

any women today coming out of school, the doors are open,” says Mary Warlick, CEO of The One Club, a non-profit organization that supports the creative side of advertising. “There are a lot—a lot—of smart women working in the industry.”

But strides still need to be made. The same 2003 EEOC study shows that the number of women declines at each step up the ladder—in management positions, women make up only 47 percent.

“I think you have to be strong,” Warlick says. “If you experience any kind of discrimination or experience any kind of glass ceiling, you gotta face it, you have to name it, you have to identify it, and you have to fight it.” Warlick admits that as in all other professions, many women feel compelled to make certain decisions—child rearing chief among them—that adversely affect their careers. But she maintains that those choices are more influenced by society than by the industry itself. “People say, ‘Well, where are the [female] creative directors?’ But they have to understand that a lot of times, women will opt to work freelance to build their careers around other things, whether it’s raising a family or writing a book,” Warlick says. “They’ll be very talented and they’ll do very successful work, but maybe they won’t be on that corporate track by choice.” Polykoff is a good example of how a mindset informed by the social era can dictate ambition as much as overt workplace sexism— though she wasn’t shy about wanting to climb the corporate ladder, she requested that her salary ($25,000 a year) not exceed her lawyer husband’s, “so as not to threaten [his] psyche.” As she explains in her memoir, “Though I loved my work, I was always more interested in being a woman first and an advertising person second.”

Warlick, who began her advertising career as creative manager at the Levine Huntley Schmidt & Beaver agency, recently curated a show at The New York Public Library called The Real Men and Women of Madison Avenue...and Their Impact on American Culture. Inspired in part by Mad Men, Warlick used the exhibit as an opportunity to shed light on the work of Robinson, Polykoff, and their contemporaries—Mary Wells Lawrence’s towering portrait serves as one of the exhibit’s main images. The exhibit gave several ad women the opportunity to reminisce about an era that was far more welcoming than the one most see on TV. “My daughter lives in Denver, and I took her to see that show,” Robinson says.

“She got a big kick out of it. It was a shock to her, because she didn’t know anything about that. I mean, she knew what work I had done, but she was astonished to see how exciting it was.”

Lawrence echoes the sentiment. “The advertising business is the most glamorous business of them all, in my opinion,” she says.

“Advertising is about changing people’s ideas, changing their styles, changing their knowledge, changing their education, changing their attitudes, changing them. It is thrilling to produce change. It is glamorous. It is powerful.” B

rather than run it without interviewing the writer. No writer, no article. I love you, New York Times.”

Clairol eventually agreed to the interview, and as Polykoff reached retirement in 1973, female executives continued to make strides. By the 1970s, the industry had finally broken its final unspoken barrier, opening its doors to women of color. Barbara Gardner Proctor began her career in 1965, eventually landing a job as copy supervisor at North Advertising Agency. When she was fired after refusing to work on a campaign she considered racist and sexist, she founded Proctor and Gardner Advertising in 1971. Caroline Robinson Jones, who began her career as a secretary and tenaciously worked her way up to copywriter, formed Mingo-Jones Advertising with another African-American advertising executive in 1977.

Today, women make up the majority of the ad industry. According to a 2003 study by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, women accounted for 65.8 percent of employees in advertising (and 58.2 percent of “professional positions,” defined as those that require a college degree). Though data varies by university, current enrollment numbers show that women greatly outnumber men in communications degree programs. “I think for

IMAGES COURTESY OF THE ONE CLUB

“Advertising is about changing people’s ideas... It is thrilling to produce change. It is glamorous.

It is powerful.” —Mary Wells Lawrence

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Clockwise from top left: Mary Wells Lawrence at her desk at Wells Rich Greene in 1967; an ad from Phyllis Robinson’s Nice ’n Easy campaign; Lawrence’s suggestive 1965 Braniff ad. Gloria Steinem once accused Lawrence of “Uncle Tomming her way to the top.”

// BUST / 055

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Fans at a Children of Bodom show in Helsinki, Finland

For

those

about to

Rock You wouldn’t know it by the way it’s packaged and sold, but heavy metal has plenty of female fans. Here we catch up with seven gals who get their kicks loud, hard, and fast, and leave a few stereotypes about women and music in the dust B Y J E N N Y R O S E R YA N P H O T O S B Y A N G E L A B O AT W R I G H T

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be v e r l y h a mes 26, DJ New York “As a female vocalist in a band, I didn’t experience too much open hostility; it was more an awkward sort of antagonism. I definitely get more flack when I DJ than I ever got as a band member. When you’re a woman behind the turntables, you become a target to a lot of people who walk in the door. I can’t count the times men have come up to me and started quizzing me, trying to test my metal knowledge. My male friends don’t have to deal with guys coming up to them and questioning whether or not they deserve the Judas Priest shirt they’re wearing.” // BUST / 057

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ch l oe p u ke

“I think metal’s allure—for me, at least—really boils down to it seeming like

21, Vocalist for the thrash/punk/metal band Atakke New York

an appropriate medium to convey the strangely apocalyptic, violent, anxious, and terrified Zeitgeist of this particular moment in history. Something about the combination of aggression, melodrama, and romanticism in metal makes it perfect for expressing feelings of rage at a world that seems to be all wrong all the time, while still belying a speck of optimism that there is something beautiful and good worth saving, [as evident in] guitar solos. For me, and I imagine for many other women who play metal, it’s a totally empowering thing to be able to hold your own in a field dominated by men, to push yourself every day to be better and prove to all the shit-talkers that girls can rage it just as hard, and harder, than the dudes.”

c asey w ei b u st 20, Fan Boston “So many people think that metal is just headbanging music with people screaming. I am definitely not that into the screaming. What I love is bands like Thin Lizzy, because they are classified as metal but have such a rock sound, and you can always sing along and even dance to some of the songs. I believe that anyone who loves music can get into some type of metal. You just need to give it a chance.”

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ma r si sh q a r r i 28, Fan Boston “I was in my first or second year in high school in Albania, where I’m from, when some friends of mine first played Slayer and Deicide for me. They were both on a mix tape. You have to remember that nothing was easily reached in Albania as far as foreign products, so CDs and LPs were sort of a rarity. Once I heard Slayer, I sort of lost my mind! I had never heard anything as crushing and heavy as them. I can’t necessarily pinpoint what it is that metal brings to my life except completion, happiness, and a stream of unstoppable adrenaline, which leaves me yearning for more. It has an exalting power that separates me from the rest of the world and makes me feel invincible and strong.”

n oel l e b a i l ey 36, Fan New York “I started liking metal (specifically Metallica, Megadeth, and Slayer) when I was a sophomore at Catholic school. I was also a cheerleader, and in my junior year wore a denim jacket with patches from those bands to all of the football matches where I cheered—until the principal told me it wasn’t dress code. I drove a Fiat convertible and listened to speed metal while driving to games. I was a girl dating the captain of the football team—literally—and listening to thrash metal.”

// BUST / 059

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j a cl y n sh eer 27, aka DJ Shark New York

“One of my earliest recollections of discovering the thrills of metal music took place in my childhood best friend’s backyard at the age of eight. We were blasting our favorite new band, Guns N’ Roses, while trying to show off to the older and mischievous prepubescent

c o ns t anz a l ea l

knucklehead who lived next door. How perfect

21, Fan

that we knew all the lyrics to “It’s So Easy” [from

Boston

Appetite for Destruction]. Knowing all the lyrics meant that we could swear—which, for two

“Growing up [in Chile], listening to black metal never made me angry. If anything, it would make me somewhat calm and passionate. Black metal

eight-year-olds, felt both daring and special. I can still feel the forbidden words waiting to roll

made me feel like a winter night: intense, quiet, and distant. I didn’t really

off my tongue like it was yesterday: ‘Why don’t

know anybody else who listened to that, and I was definitely considered

you just...FUCK OFF!’ Ah, and the rest is history.”

the weirdo, with my tight black jeans, leather jacket, Bathory T-shirt, and upside-down cross. People in high school thought I was possessed, but I couldn’t care less. I felt like I knew a whole other level of music that not many others understood.” // BUST / 061

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The BUST staff reveals their holiday wish lists with a roundup of products you won’t want to miss!

STILL LIFES BY CHRISTINE BLACKBURNE // PORTRAITS BY GRAY HAMNER HAIR BY AMANDA JENKINS // MAKEUP BY PIA GUCCIONE

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From goths to jocks to cheerleaders to stoners, Danielle Levitt captures American teens in all their glory.

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Laurie Henzel Creative Director

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For someone who loves fashion as much as I do, this little book is perfect.

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Tara Marks Senior Designer

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MANSINTHE: THE OFFICIAL MARILYN MANSON ABSINTHE, $65, WWW. TEMPUSFUGITSPIRITS.COM; SIMON PEARCE HAND BLOWN ABSINTHE GLASS, $68, WWW. SIMONPEARCE.COM

Handmade in Brazil from recycled aluminum, this bag is a dream for gals going green.

ESCAMA STUDIO MASHA BAG, $180, WWW. ESCAMASTUDIO.COM

Show up with the best vegan cookies in the world and suddenly, you’re everyone’s favorite girl!

Stellar reissues

by Jobriath, the unheralded godfather of glam!

JOBRIATH AND CREATURES OF THE STREET, $10.98 EACH, WWW.CCMUSIC.COM

LIZ LOVELY “TO THE NINES” SAMPLER (9 FLAVORS IN PACKS OF 2), $34.95, WWW.LIZLOVELY.COM

068 / BUST // APR/MAY

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The ashy details and classic lines on this wool blend jacket will top off any dapper dame’s look.

AMBER ROAD COAT, $84.99, WWW.MODCLOTH.COM

This island version of eggnog is a perfect addition to any party.

You can choose up to 10 letters to create knockout knuckle-dusters.

CUSTOMIZED THREEFINGER RING, $48, WWW. MELODYEHSANI.COM

MI ABUELITA ORIGINAL HOMEMADE BRAND COQUITO, $21.99, WWW.COQUITO.PR

This double-disc set packed in a bowling ball is a must-have for any urban achiever.

Every month for a year, these peeps will deliver a different, delectable, bacon right to your door, along with other pig-related items..

THE BIG LEBOWSKI 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION, $26.98, WWW. BIGLEBOWSKIDVD.COM

BACON OF THE MONTH CLUB, $150, WWW. GRATEFULPALATE.COM

Customized, 10K gold, 21 4" doorknocker earrings are a big splurge for fashionistas who own everything.

GOLD BAMBOO PAVE NAME PLATE EARRINGS, $615, WWW. JEWELRYONTHENET.COM

Not just for dancing vocalists, this headset mic is also ideal for drummers, guitarists, aerobics instructors, and even puppeteers.

ON LAURA PALMER: TANKUS TEAL TURTLENECK SWEATER DRESS, PRO 8HEX HEADSET MIC, $149, $310, WWW.KAYLEETANKUS.COM; DIESEL CHEROCK JEANS, $140, WWW.AUDIO-TECHNICA.COM WWW.DIESEL.COM. THIS PAGE: ON AUDREY HORNE: PARKVOGEL TIE-NECK BLOUSON, $275, CPW N.Y.C., 212-579-3737; CATHERINE FULMER MOLLY WOOL TARTAN HIGH-WAISTED SKIRT, $295, WWW.CATHERINEFULMER.COM; MOSSIMO FOR TARGET BLACK PATENT T-BAR FLATS, $24.99, WWW. TARGET.COM; TIMEX DRESS WATCH WITH LEATHER STRAP, $50, WWW. TIMEX.COM; RAUL FRISNEDA 18K YELLOW-GOLD LOTUS STUDS WITH WHITE SAPPHIRES, $550, WWW.RAULFRISNEDA.COM.

Callie Watts

Cooking oil hasn’t skyrocketed yet, so lets get fryin’!

FILTRA PRO FRYER, $119.99, WWW.TARGET.COM

Customer Service/Crafty Lady // BUST / 069

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The Pierces ON CATHERINE (LEFT): POLKADOT MARY DRESS BY JILL STUART, SHE BOUTIQUE, CHICAGO, 773-880-8061; GRAY TIGHTS BY URBAN OUTFITTERS, WWW. URBANOUTFITTERS.COM; BLACK VULTURE HEEL BY STEVE MADDEN, 1-800SIR-MADD FOR LOCATIONS. ON ALLISON (RIGHT): COZY WOOL JERSEY TOP BY BETSEY JOHNSON, WWW. BETSEYJOHNSON.COM; BLACK JEANS BY LEVI’S, WWW.LEVI. COM; GRAY HIGH GRANNY BOOT BY MOSCHINO CHEAP & CHIC, WWW.SHOPBOP.COM; GOLD-STUDDED BRACELET BY ISAAC MANEVITZ FOR BENAMUN, WWW.BEN-AMUN.COM.

GIRLS ON FILM Rockin’ indie music femmes show off the season’s most fab fashion trends

PHOTOS BY ALIYA NAUMOFF STYLING BY CHRISTIAN STROBLE MAKEUP BY KRISTIN HILTON HAIR BY CAROLINE PRINCE

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Janelle Monáe GOLD HEART EARRINGS BY ME&RO, WWW.MEANDROJEWELRY. COM; SHIRT BY POLO RALPH LAUREN, WWW.RALPHLAUREN.COM; PLAID BOW BY MALIN LANDAEUS SELECT VINTAGE COLLECTIONS, WWW.MALINLANDAEUS.COM; PURPLE HIGH-WAISTED CINDYL TROUSERS BY MISS SIXTY, WWW. MISSSIXTY.COM; CUFF LINKS, JANELLE’S OWN.

// BUST / 071

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ON JANELLE: GOLD HEART EARRINGS BY ME&RO; BLUE JACKET BY MALIN LANDAEUS SELECT VINTAGE COLLECTIONS; WHITE SHIRT BY J. CREW, WWW. JCREW.COM; WHITE JEANS, JANELLE’S OWN.

Rachael Yamagata HAT BY SUNSHINE AND SHADOWS, WWW.STEVENALAN.COM; VINTAGE COAT, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND, N.Y.C., 212-343-9303.

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Isabel Ibsen of Beluga VINTAGE SCARF WORN AS HEADBAND, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND; BRONZE PENIS-BONE NECKLACE BY ERICA WEINER, WWW. ERICAWEINER.COM; ANIMAL-PRINT JUMPSUIT BY BETSEY JOHNSON; GLAM CRYSTAL BOOTIES BY SIGERSON MORRISON FOR TARGET, WWW.TARGET.COM; FABRIC CUFF BY ISAAC MANEVITZ FOR BEN-AMUN.

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ON RACHAEL: SILK DRESS BY BESS, WWW.BESSNYC.COM; FLORA BELT BY BLISS LAU, WWW.BLISSLAU.COM; GRAY TIGHTS BY URBAN OUTFITTERS; BLACK SLASSSH OPEN-TOE BOOT BY STEVEN BY STEVE MADDEN; PURPLE CARDIGAN DRESS BY KEEP, WWW. KEEPCOMPANY.COM.

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ON ALLISON (LEFT): TOP, SKIRT, TIGHTS, AND BRACELET, ALLISON’S OWN; LACE-UP BOOT

BY MISS SIXTY. ON CATHERINE (RIGHT): CULOTTE DRESS BY MAHARISHI, WWW.EMAHARISHI. COM; BLACK LEATHER CORSET BELT BY MISS SIXTY; BLACK VULTURE HEEL BY STEVE MADDEN; GOLD BRACELET, STYLIST’S OWN.

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Amanda Blank ON AMANDA: GREEN ICE TIGHT JEANS BY CHEAP MONDAY, WWW. KARMALOOP.COM; BLACK MESH CORSET BY THE BLONDS, 212-2268510 TO SPECIAL ORDER; GREEN BOLERO BY THE BLONDS; RINGS AND NECKLACE, AMANDA’S OWN. ON CAROLINE (BOTTOM LEFT): PURPLE GUATEMALAN BATWING HOODIE BY KEEP; ZEBRA TOP BY ABBY Z., ABBY Z. BOUTIQUE, N.Y.C., 212-219-8562; SHOES BY TOMS, WWW.TOMSSHOES. COM. ON CAROLINE (BOTTOM RIGHT): TANK BY CLU, WWW.SAKS.COM; BLACK LEATHER WAISTCOAT BY LONELY HEARTS, WWW.IHEARTNYC.COM; BLACK SHEER BEADED CROPPED PANTS BY THE BLONDS; BRACELET AND WATCH, CAROLINE’S OWN.

Caroline Polachek of Chairlift

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ON ISABEL: RED-AND-WHITE STRIPED SHOW BODYSUIT

BY BETSEY JOHNSON; BLACK HOGARTH HOODIE BY EDUN, WWW.BARNEYS.COM; NAVY CHUCK TAYLOR ALL-STAR LOTOPS BY CONVERSE, WWW. CONVERSE.COM; YELLOWSEQUINED BANGLE BY ISAAC MANEVITZ FOR BEN-AMUN; BRONZE PENIS-BONE NECKLACE

BY ERICA WEINER. // BUST / 077

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the bust guide

MUSIC

JULIETTE COMMAGÈRE Queens Die Proudly (Aeronaut) Queens Die Proudly is the first solo album for Juliette Commagère, the keytar-totin’ frontwoman of L.A. indie rock outfit Hello Stranger. Intensely layered and influenced by her classical background, Commagère’s debut is beautifully crafted—imagine the love child of Imogen Heap and Feist. “Hearts” sets the tone, mixing tribal drumbeats with the synthesized foundation that ties the album together. The artist’s haunting voice possesses an understated wisdom in both “All Your Days” and “Berceuse,” whispering lyrics such as “I hide them well/These dark, dark spells.” The title track stands out, with its Mozart-meets-pop vibe, while the simplicity of “Without Me” expresses an innocent loneliness, echoed by childlike vocals. The musician’s depth, honesty, and vivid imagery separate Commagère from her ambient peers. Regardless of where you listen to Queens Die Proudly, it makes you feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland, set to a mystical, synth-pop soundtrack. [ERICA VARLESE]

PHOTO BY JUSTIN HOLLAR

EAGLES OF DEATH METAL Heart On (Downtown) Eagles of Death Metal roar back into gear with their third album, Heart On. Josh Homme, of Queens of the Stone Age fame, and playmate Jesse Hughes take on Los Angeles in 12 pedal-to-the-floor romps. With a team of stellar musicians, they put influences like the Beach Boys, Tears for Fears, and the Eagles to work with infectious pop songs. Relishing in the West Coast scene while offering critique, songs such as “Now I’m a Fool” claim it’s all fake in Hollywood, and “Wannabe in L.A.” mocks poseurs. On the other hand, this is a soundtrack for the savvy Valley boy with hits like “High Voltage” and “Cheap Thrills,” and the exhilarating “I’m Your Torpedo” is about SoCal car culture. Whether you’re cruising through a moonlit desert or weaving along I-95, fast is the only way to enjoy this baby. Heart On plays the way rock ‘n’ roll road trip records should: some

school of seven bells ALPINISMS (GHOSTLY INTERNATIONAL) THE OPENING TRACK on School of Seven Bells’ debut album could not be more inaccurate. Titled “Iamundernodisguise,” the song features eerie vocal harmonies and chilling melodies that exhibit every aspect of concealed sorrow, mysterious psychedelics, and masked electronics. Shrouded in drone, the entire album is consistently intriguing and enigmatic. School of Seven Bells’ lush sea of layered instrumentation could easily be called, without irony, a soundscape. Distinguishing the project from the likes of, say, Nico or Azure Ray, Alpinisms is underscored by a soft, electronic, toe-tapping (not foot-stomping) beat. Vocals from twin sisters Claudia and Alejandra Deheza—recognizable from bands A Cloud Mireya and On!Air!Library!—waver between sullen control and heavenly sweetness. Paired with the sometimes weeping, sometimes muted guitar of Secret Machines alum Benjamin Curtis, the effort is a silent storm for whom everyone’s bell should toll. [ERIN GRIFFITH] // BUST / 079

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the guide MUSIC lows, a lot of highs, and all laced with pounding speed. [CHRIS STIEGLER]

GANG GANG DANCE Saint Dymphna (Social Registry) Historically speaking, Saint Dymphna was a beautiful lass beheaded by her Irish chief of a father when she refused to marry him after her mother’s death.

Legend says that her burial place is known to cure mental illness. But Saint Dymphna is the newest release by experimentalist, Brooklyn-based foursome Gang Gang Dance, who sound like they could benefit from a visit to the saint’s grave, judging by the schizophrenic arrangements found here. We start in a psychedelic kaleidoscope of percussion and Asian-inspired synths (“Bebey”), jump to techno blips (on the aptly named “House Jam”), and then find that, most surprisingly, Gang Gang goes hip-hop with British MC Tinchy Stryder on “Princes.” One thing is constant: frontwoman Lizzi Bougatsos continues to channel Kate Bush’s moans, whispers, and wails, with a dash of M.I.A.-like grunts. Most refreshingly, the band seems to have climbed out of the cardboard box where they’d been recording and into a real studio—Saint Dymphna is crystal clear and headphone ready. [MARY-LOUISE PRICE]

FRIDA HYVONEN Silence Is Wild (Secretly Canadian) If Frida Hyvonen’s 2006 debut was a girl stumbling through youth, then Silence Is Wild is the woman that girl became: finally sure of herself. Everything about the Swedish singer/songwriter’s followup gleams with maturity, from Carol King–like arrangements to a certain Sylvia Plathness in her words. For all its complexity, Silence isn’t empty of the quirky Frida we all love—even the most serious moments are executed with a wink. “Dirty Dancing” tackles the pains of an old relationship via references to Baby, Johnny, and early-’90s Kylie Minogue. And though “December” is a lyrically dry account of an abortion, each note sounds like an out-of-tune circus organ explaining that, yes, this all feels like a funhouse mirror. She may

have grown a bit wiser, but Hyvonen is still her magical self: the girl who is experienced enough to know who she is, yet so funny and smart, you can’t help but want to know her too. [MOLLIE WELLS]

KID SISTER Dream Date (Downtown) It’s crazy that Kid Sister just dropped her debut—she’s long been the darling of Chicago’s Fool’s Gold crew (that includes longtime supporter/collaborator Kanye West and her boo/producer A-Trak) and with her laid-back charm, she’s already gained media attention and MTV spots. Well, its finally time to see what Kid Sister is truly made of, and with Dream Date, it’s clear she’s nothin’ but gold. The bright opener, “Life on TV,” is a self-conscious romp about inevitable stardom, with sage rhymes like “Don’t tap your weave/ Don’t forget to breathe,” over glossy ’80s beats. “Family Reunion” sounds exactly like a sweltering barbecue in Chicago’s Southside while showcasing her signature bounce and sass; tracks like “Beeper” and “Switch Board” bring back early-’90s “juke” with popcorn beats and deep bass. The album is also peppered with skits that will crack you up, including a Dating Game parody where she drops the most hilarious pickup line I’ve ever heard. Kid Sister is all grown up and has crafted the house-party album of winter ’09.

[SARA GRAHAM]

THE KILLERS Day & Age (Island) I remember when that hit Killers song “Somebody Told Me,” came out.

On first listen, with lyrics like “Your girlfriend’s old boyfriend looks like someone from high school” (or something like that) I recall thinking, “Wait, what?” Well, their new album, Day & Age, has a similar aesthetic—it’s hard to figure out what’s going on. On one hand, “Human,” the first single off the album, sounds pretty much like you’d expect it to—a typical synth/pop/ electro hipster jam. On the other, you have songs that completely break out of this mold. Imagine the musical offspring of a Europop dance party and

an island jamboree and you’ll get an idea of how varied the vibe of Day & Age is. I respect a band that explores new territory with every album, but the sax solos and steel drums found here, mixed over the Killers’ standard power-pop sound, is some far-out genre bending. Having said that, the album still had me tapping my foot. Touché.

[ANDIE RISHOI]

LABELLE Back to Now (Verve Forecast) Rarely when groups reunite do they live up to the output of their heyday (Eagles, anyone?). Luckily, Labelle has steered clear of the dreaded reunion blues to give the world Back to Now. Thirty-two years after they split, Patti LaBelle, Nona Hendryx, and Sarah Dash are back with feathers, glitter, and “Lady Marmalade” ’tude in tow. Hendryx is still at Labelle’s helm, writing or co-writing 7 of the 10 tracks here. The opener, “Candlelight,” finds Patti LaBelle’s expansive, steely voice at its soulful finest. Unfortunately, “Rollout,” produced by and featuring Wyclef Jean, is a pop-crap clunker⎯an obvious effort to get the Rihanna-buying public interested in Labelle. Highlights are slow songs “Superlover,” “Without You in My Life,” and “Dear Rosa,” and the funky, soul-fueled rocker “System.” “How Long” is a flat-out dance number, and a cover of Cole Porter’s classic “Miss Otis Regrets,” closes the album. Welcome back, ladies. Way to show all those imitation R&B, pop-tart hos how it’s really done. [MICHAEL LEVINE]

LADYHAWKE Self-titled (Modular) Kiwi-born popstress Phillipa“Pip”Brown, aka Ladyhawke, drops it like it’s h-o-t on her eponymous LP, with a globetrotting, multi-instrumental sound that will leave you lusting for the shiny synths of yesteryear. After brief stints with New Zealand dirty rockers Two Lane Blacktop and Aussie indie darlings Teenager, Ladyhawke finally steps into the spotlight for a sparkling, retro blend of lush elec-

tro beats, glossy disco shades, and new-wave riffs so cold, it’s 1986 all over again. With longtime collaborator Pascal Gabriel (New Order, Kylie Minogue) producing killer cuts like “Magic,” “My Delirium,” and “Dusk Till Dawn,” and Brown’s vocals channeling Stevie Nicks (“Back of the Van”) and Chrissie Hynde (“Crazy World”), Ladyhawke is the ultimate pop perfection. If you’re old enough to remember the decade of decadence or even if you were just a babe in the ’80s, you’ll appreciate Ladyhawke’s genuine celebration of the era. This is definitely the most crushworthy album of 2008. [ MACKENZIE WILSON ]

LONELY DRIFTER KAREN Grass Is Singing (Crammed) “This world is crazy,” croons Lonely Drifter Karen’s frontwoman Tanja Frinta within the first seconds of Grass Is Singing. And when peering through her Technicolor, happy-go-lucky glasses, boy, is it. Among girls transforming into elephants, hearts beating like tambourines, and angels sighing while ladies turn down ice cream, the Barcelonabased group debuts with a carnival of imagination. Though captivating, Frinta’s lyrical voice teeters on being too precious, especially since the songs are laced with music-box twinkles, romantic pianos, and dreamy accordions. However, it’s easy to forgive when under the spell of feel-good choruses like “Didl dam didl dam didl di,” on “The Owl Moans Low.” The magic isn’t lost in some of the jazzier numbers or those reminiscent of Edith Piaf, and Frinta, with her real-life lover, pianist Marc Melià Sobrevias, even gets sexy with breathy whispers on the Parisian club beauty “Carousel Horses.” When the album delivers its final note, it’s still hard to make sense of the funhouse you’ve just stepped out of, but hey, sometimes that’s the point. [HELEN MATATOV]

ANYA MARINA Slow and Steady Seduction, Phase II (Chop Shop)

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// BUST / 081

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the guide MUSIC Anya Marina’s minimalist take on singer/songwriter pop focuses on the propulsive rhythms that course under the surface of daily life. Nearly every song on Slow and Steady Seduction, Phase II is built on the foundation of a stiff, rhythmic backbone, giving Marina room to add and subtract elements and sketch out the mechanics of romance in deceptively simple pop language. Many of the tracks were produced and inspired by Spoon’s Britt Daniel, and Marina shares his knack for sonic subtraction. The warm organs and springy electronic beat of “Vertigo” slowly build, as wisps of guitar and organic drums enter the mix, and Marina’s girlish voice whispers sweetly about the dizzying effect of a certain someone. Elsewhere,

the dirty guitar and languid vocals of “Afterparty at Jimmy’s” drip with sly eroticism, proving that even though her music is at home on the soundtrack of Grey’s Anatomy, it’s hardly aural wallpaper. [TOM FORGET]

MT. ST. HELEN’S VIETNAM BAND Weepy EP (Self-released) With a name like Mt. St. Helen’s Vietnam Band, here’s hoping this Seattle five-piece doesn’t lose out on imminent success due to having a long, somewhat difficult-toremember band name. That would be a damn shame, since their debut EP promises nothing short of awesomeness. Weepy, which hasn’t left

{heavy rotation} ISOBEL CAMPBELL & MARK LANEGAN Sunday at Devil Dirt (Fontana International/V2)

In 2006, Isobel Campbell, of Belle and Sebastian, teamed up with former Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan to bring us the brilliant Ballad of the Broken Seas. Recalling great rough-male/gentle-female duos of yesteryear like Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood, Sunday at Devil Dirt continues what Ballad started. The dozen Campbell-penned tracks keep production true to the stripped-down sound of the album’s predecessor.

Cuts such as “Seafaring Song,” “Salvation,” and “Trouble” stick to a simple acoustic guitar, while “Who Built the Road,” and “Come On Over (Turn Me On)” are orchestrated with lush string arrangements. Don’t be fooled by Campbell’s waiflike voice, because this writer/musician/ singer/producer is definitely in the driver’s seat, unlike Nancy in the Sinatra/Hazlewood days. As for Lanegan, his voice has the perfect salty, deep, darkness to accompany Campbell’s sweet vocal quality, resulting in another gem from this great duo. [MICHAEL LEVINE]

my stereo since I pulled the CD out of its charming, handmade felt case, is an exuberant glimpse into what this mixed-gender group has to offer: nofuss rock ‘n’ roll. Relying on indie-rock touchstones, like twitchy male vocals and weird tempo changes, the tracks are sprinkled with alternative-era guitar licks that go straight to the heart.

Sparkling standout track “Who’s Asking” features renegade noodling that recalls J Mascis, while the elastic drone of “Cheer for Fate” is pure power pop.

With only four three-minute songs, the EP seems like a rip-off, but that’s just because Weepy does exactly what it should—leave you anxiously wanting more. [SARA GRAHAM]

ORPHAN Aborted by Birth (In the Nursery) Anyone who lives in a city knows the terrible sound of a garbage truck’s rumble, waking you that crucial half hour earlier than your alarm is set. In the middle of the day, it wouldn’t be all that noticeable, but at 6 a.m., nothing could be more calamitous. Brooklyn duo Orphan has successfully harnessed that fearsome cacophony for their debut album, Aborted by Birth.

Less invincible than Big Business and not as avant-garde as Lightning Bolt, Orphan’s take on bass/drums powersludge leaves exposed edges and ragged splinters. Brendan Majewski coaxes a series of voices out of his bass, from a menacing throb to an acid-scorched, rusty scythe, and Speck Brown transforms her drums into an arsenal of explosive charges. Tracks like the tottering “Doom Sum” and insistent “Penis Farm” are reminiscent of Sabbath, of course, but also recall the scuzzy gutter antiglamour of the somewhat neglected early-’90s noise scene.

[TOM FORGET]

JAY REATARD Matador Singles ’08 (Matador) Like almost any punk rock musician worth his spit, Jay Reatard has been in a slew of bands—the Reatards, the Lost Sounds, Nervous Patterns, the Final Solutions, Angry Angles, Terror Visions—though his current, solo act

may be his best. On Matador Singles ’08, we find Reatard’s 2008 output— scattered by the label across six seveninch singles—on one handy disc. It’s minimal garage-punk pop in the spirit of Wire, with a lyrical dark edge not unlike Matador hall-of-famers Guided By Voices (try “There is a reason I’m afraid of you/And I don’t know what it is” on “You Mean Nothing to Me”). Things get psychedelic with “Fluorescent Grey,” one of the few tracks to eclipse the three-minute mark, but Reatard rarely wavers from his three- and fourchord formula—the nervous breakdown always right around the corner.

[DYLAN STABLEFORD]

RTX JJ Got Live RaTX (Drag City) After regaling the world with sunblasted, gritty rock that never caved to the saccharine demands of the MTV generation in Royal Trux, Jennifer Herrema’s new project, RTX, sounds like the spawn that ’80s hair metal and ’90s grunge never had.

Leading deceptively with a rolling psychedelic jam-out, JJ Got Live RaTX doesn’t hold your hand through its meaty rockology of throaty, echoed vocals, shred guitar, and anthemic beats—in fact, it flat-out says “You Should Shut Up.” But who better to school you than the world’s coolest hesher babe, frontwoman Herrema?

With less vocal drag and more spitfire precision than usual, she even approaches a Marc Bolanesque charm in “Cheap Wine Time.” Posing a reflexive question in “Are You a Boy or Are You a Girl,” Herrema’s androgynous persona proves rock swagger is genderless. If RTX is the id of rock ‘n’ roll where all acid-washed desires surface, then JJ is one guilty pleasure to add to the collection under your bed. [MILA ZUO]

THE STREETS Everything Is Borrowed (Vice) When The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living, album number three from Mike Skinner (aka the Streets), took off like a lead balloon two years ago, fans who had

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previously thrilled to his homegrown garage innovations despaired that his best days were behind him. But with this latest quirky release, Skinner bounds back with the kind of electrorap pyrotechnics and surprising arrangements that established him as the U.K.’s premier poet/prankster/ provocateur. Originally heralded for his beat-making prowess, Skinner invites a whole bunch of real-live musicians and singers to join the party this time around, and the results sound surprisingly timeless. The gang’s raucous meditation on the afterlife, “Heaven for the Weather,” sports a big, noisy, sing-along chorus that would sound at home in a stage production of Godspell. Another standout track, the soberly philosophical “On the Edge of a Cliff,” layers the lush sounds of drums, bass, guitar, piano, trumpet, organ, clarinet, harp, violin, and multiple vocalists to help tell its simple story of genetic destiny.

Finally freed from whatever creative demons were weighing him down last time around, this new and greatly improved Mike Skinner has at last made another album reflective of his considerable talents. [EMILY REMS]

TOBACCO Fucked Up Friends (Anticon) “Instrumental hip-hop” is a loaded descriptor, often shorthand for “white-boy soundscapes too complicated for easy consumption by bling-heavy mainstream rappers.” At worst, it’s the soundtrack to insurance advertisements and interracial pornography, all ironies intended. At best, as on Fucked Up Friends, it can be complex and propulsive pop, forever perched on the precipice of discord and dissonance. On vacation from his day gig with mind-fuckers Black Moth Super Rainbow, Tobacco drops the hard bop that pops the synapses like a joint spiked with PCP and Tang. Nods to cock rock and electro are hinted at (think Dabrye with Asperger’s syndrome). But make no mistake—at heart, this is nervous and compelling shit for heads stuck up their own asses, beats spastically falling over each other with such abandon that it just has to be planned. [ERICK HAIGHT]

SHUGO TOKUMARU Exit (Almost Gold) Light, lovely, and unexpected, Shugo Tokumaru’s third release is an experience akin to wandering through a sun-drenched fairy forest. This singer/ songwriter from Tokyo is a multiinstrumentalist, whose style and influences draw on elements of pop, folk, and electronic music. Comparable with Jens Lekman’s work, Exit takes more than one listen to fully appreciate— Japanese language skills not required.

While outwardly joyful and almost childlike, the arrangements are intricate and convey a breadth of subtle emotions. “Parachute” is an impossibly happy tune, the tinkling of bright chimes against guitar adding to the sweetness that feels so very honest.

“Button” is more quickly paced with soft, traditional Japanese acoustics and a Beatles-esque vocal melody. In the end, this is the perfect, chill album to drift into, like a breeze that’s both impish and wild. [JESSICA HARRIS]

WRECKLESS ERIC & AMY RIGBY Self-titled (Stiff) Andrew Weatherall, the prolific DJ/producer, described Wreckless Eric’s last album, 2004’s Bungalow Hi, as sounding “like Bo Diddley trying to outdo Aphex Twin.”

Perhaps thankfully, Wreckless Eric’s latest—a self-titled duo with singer/ songwriter and wife Amy Rigby— sounds nothing like Bo Diddley.

However, it’s chockfull of Beatles references: the “Here Comes the Sun”– referenced “Here Comes My Ship,” the Abbey Road hustle of “Another Drive-In Saturday,” the fuzzy crunch of “First Mate Rigby.” The Fab Four are even mentioned in the hilarious antiBirkenstocks ode, “Men in Sandals” (“If the Beatles came ’long/In this enlightened age/They’d be lame like Phish/You can’t kick ass in Tevas”).

But beyond the gently weeping guitar licks and cartoon-gooey pop, there’s not much left but nostalgia. Particularly when considering that the best outcome of a guy/girl doo-wop dynamic was already delivered this year

by She & Him. Suddenly, Bo Diddley outdoing Aphex Twin doesn’t sound so bad. [DYLAN STABLEFORD] // BUST / 083

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the guide INTERVIEW

“I MEAN, WE all have tits and a fanny,” Ebony Bones says, over the phone from her friend’s London flat. “Do we have to tell everyone about it?” Publicly opposed to the scantily clad, stereotypical sexy frontwoman image, this 25-year-old fashionista and U.K. singing sensation is bringing a whole lot of flash, sass, and fun back to pop, wowing British and U.S. audiences alike. With a mixed-up sound that combines world, post-punk, and electro-rock; a live show with back-up dancers and a sprawling band; and influences including Grace Jones, Siouxsie Sioux, and Bow Wow Wow, Bones (née Ebony Thomas) is shaking up the industry with her brazen style and attitude.

“They weren’t singing about a guy leaving them,” she says of her musical muses. “Or him not turning up or calling or texting.

They were always in charge. They were always in the driver’s seat.” It’s a position Bones emulates by writing, producing, and recording all her own tracks, and the closest she comes to bemoaning dude trouble is with tongue-in-cheek dance anthems like “Don’t Fart On My Heart.” Though her debut album is slated for release in early 2009, Internet buzz and tracks released via MySpace have already given the plucky musician a hefty fan base.

Bones had a surprising start. At 15 she landed a role on the now-defunct British soap opera Family Affairs. Spending seven years on the show, she found her musical voice as Ebony Bones during backstage downtime. “It was really born out of boredom,” she says. “During filming I’d bring my laptop and start producing tracks on Pro Tools. And I’d soundproof the room with little bits of sponge I’d find in the costume department.”

Her sense of style also developed during her time as a soap star. Crafting costumes for her character—which she says “had bits of sequins and safety pins and would look a mess”—was the beginning of the ballsy style that she now sports onstage. Handmade dresses in African-inspired prints; petticoats; oversized, knit chain necklaces; neon tights; and white Reeboks are all in her mix. She has a fashion sensibility that is sophisticated, artful, and spirited at once, with the ability to rock a designer frock just as easily as a DIY-customized thrift find. Her only requirement for any sartorial choice is that it’s oneof-a-kind. “I remember at a very young age just loathing female magazines that dictated what should and shouldn’t be worn. I could never wrap my head around that,” she says. “Most of what I wear costs less than a Happy Meal.”

By the end of our conversation, I want Bones to be my BFF. She’s funny and articulate, and she drops wisdom that belies her 25 years. “It doesn’t serve the world to play small,” she says. “It’s not inspiring to shrink because people might feel threatened or insecure around you. We’re all meant to shine the way children do.” [SARA GRAHAM]

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she comes in colors CHATTIN’ ON THE PHONE WITH EBONY BONES

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MOVIES

Liberian women Pray the Devil Back to Hell

PRAY THE DEVIL BACK TO HELL Directed by Gini Reticker (Fork Films) It’s easy to feel jaded about using protest as a tool for change, especially when marches numbering in the tens of thousands seem to draw news coverage while accomplishing little else. But prepare to leave your cynicism at the door when watching Pray the Devil Back to Hell, a documentary about a small group of women whose protests changed a country—and a continent—forever.

Civil war began to ravage Liberia in 1989 as battles between president Charles Taylor and regional warlords sent a plague of rape, starvation, death, and displacement throughout the country. By 2003, civilians were increasingly being attacked and plundered by both sides of the conflict, so a handful of women decided enough was enough and amassed a coalition of Christian and Muslim female activists. Armed only with a dream and white T-shirts, they called themselves the Liberian Mass Action for Peace (LMAP).

The women gained attention by using traditional protest methods, like sitting in at the centrally located fish market, and by employing other, more creative strategies, such as initiating sex strikes to persuade their men to join the peace movement. Lobbying both sides, the women of LMAP persuaded Charles Taylor and the warlords to attend peace talks in Ghana. To ensure the effort made progress, the women followed them, and when

Williams’ performance is eerie in Wendy and Lucy

the appointed leaders in attendance (some of whom thought nothing of drugging and arming child soldiers, using rape as a weapon of war, or killing an entire city) acted more like they were on a holiday than at a negotiation, the women literally pushed them back into the building to continue talking.

Director Gini Reticker elegantly immortalizes the courage and power of these women dissenters in footage that is alternately heartbreaking and immensely inspiring. Through persistence, faith, and nonviolent protest, Liberia’s women initiated UN intervention, Charles Taylor’s exile, a nationwide disarmament, and the election of Africa’s first female head of state. By capturing their unlikely victory on film, Pray has the power to reawaken a belief in peace, protest, and the power of sisterhood in even the most jaded activist. [ERRIN DONAHUE]

WENDY AND LUCY Directed by Kelly Reichardt (Oscilloscope Laboratories) This latest, hushed masterpiece

by Old Joy director Kelly Reichardt takes on a host of American issues while following the film’s subject Wendy (played by Michelle Williams), a young woman on the brink of poverty who is driving to Alaska from Indiana with her dog, Lucy, in search of work. In Oregon, Wendy’s car breaks down, she gets nabbed for shoplifting dog food, and when she gets back from the bureaucratic mess that ensues, Lucy is missing. Suddenly alone

Artists get down to biz in Who Does She Think She Is?

and with a rapidly dwindling supply of cash, Wendy must cope with the uncertain and somewhat terrifying road that lies ahead.

In her efforts to get back on her way to Alaska, Wendy encounters a range of characters that demonstrate Americans’ complicated responses to human need. Between run-ins with beer-guzzling, trainhopping kids with facial tattoos (one of whom is played by Will Oldham, a frequent Reichardt collaborator) and privileged, self-righteous teenage boys who think it’s funny that she’s sleeping in her car, our heroine often seems trapped, bound by a system unforgiving of those without a safety net to catch them when hard times hit. And though moments of tenderness and generosity do occur, the overwhelming feeling the film evokes is a solitary and desperate one.

Likewise, the soundtrack is as minimal as it gets—the only song we hear is the melancholy hum of Williams herself, repeated like part of a tune from a long-lost era that is stuck in Wendy’s head. It adds yet another layer of shiver-inducing loneliness to a story that explores the intricacies and contradictions of our troubled American landscape.

[ANNA BEAN]

WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? Directed by Pamela Tanner Boll and Nancy Kennedy (Artistic License Films) “Everyone expects women to choose,” reads the tag line of this thought-provoking new documen-

tary about women who are both mothers and artists. “But what if you didn’t?” Co-directed by Born into Brothels executive producer Pamela Tanner Boll and Why We Fight editor Nancy Kennedy, Who Does She Think She Is? follows a diverse group of American women who must struggle to balance their vocations as artists with parenthood, often in the face of opposition from their communities and sometimes even their own families.

In it, we meet Janis, a married Mormon homemaker with five children who builds eerie sculptures of animal-like mother creatures between preschool drop-offs and her toddler’s nap times; Maye, a divorced mother of three who faces a custody battle when her ex accuses her of neglect based on her commitment to her career as a sculptor; and Angela, co-pastor with her husband of a large church and mother of tween girls who discovers a love for musical theater after having thought her only dream was to be a parent.

Together, these women and others give their audience new insights into what’s really at stake when mothers decide to follow their passions.

Interviews with the Guerilla Girls, feminist scholars, folks on the street, and museum curators are woven into the stories of Janis, Maye, Angela, and others to emphasize that for mothers, the road to self-fulfillment is still taboo. Yet for those who follow it anyway, and with vigor, the work is its own reward. Look for screening dates and DVD info at www.whodoesshethinksheis.net. [ANNA BEAN]

PHOTOS COURTESY OF C. LEWIS STUDIO AND OSCILLOSCOPE LABORATORIES

the guide

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the guide

BOOKS

LITPICK

the wordy shipmates

BY SARAH VOWELL [RIVERHEAD] Unabashed history nerds will no doubt hotly anticipate Sarah Vowell’s latest book, The Wordy Shipmates. But the public-radio regular’s brilliance lies in making history accessible to the general public through her considerable charm and humor. Vowell’s writing is as engaging as ever, though the topic of Puritans and their journey to America is less sexy than the cross-country exploration of presidential murder that was her 2005 offering, Assassination Vacation. Here she explores the characters and outcasts who populated the new world, such as Rhode Island’s founder Roger Williams and the feisty religious maverick Anne Hutchinson. Vowell’s reverence for musty Massachusetts Bay Colony Governor John Winthrop, and her textual analysis of his metaphor of the “city upon a hill,” sits next to a visit to a Mayflower-themed waterslide—a marriage of earnestness and irony that she seems to have mastered, along with an eye for esoteric detail. Vowell’s beloved asides, anecdotes, and family legends are less present here than in her previous works, and while diehard fans will miss those more personal passages, as always it is Vowell’s hopeful patriotism that makes her topic shine. Whether she is exploring Reagan and John Kennedy’s reappropriation of Winthrop’s words or simply finding comfort in them on 9/11, by exploring the birth of our nation, she makes modern parallels both scathing and poignant. [EMILY MCCOMBS]

CASSEROLE CRAZY: Hot Stuff for Your Oven!

By Emily Farris (HP Trade) I had to have this cookbook the moment I read the title; it must have triggered some primal desire for throwback, mom-style meals in order to fatten up for winter. Once I had Casserole Crazy in hand, here is how I knew I was going to love it: the chapter names are Breakfast, Appetizers, Side Dishes, Main Dishes, Macaroni and Cheese, and Stove Top. That’s right: macaroni and cheese is an entire chapter.

You can tell this gal loves food just by skimming the recipes, including Cauliflower and Potato Gratin, Thanksgiving Kugel, and Savory Spinach and Artichoke Casserole, which could incite a comfort-food hunger riot. Although many of the recipes here are Farris originals, she also includes entries from pros like Paula Deen and Bobby Flay, plus winning contributions to her casserole parties. And though most of the book’s recipes aim for optimum deliciousness

rather than diet-friendliness or any socio-political-environmental agenda, Farris labels each recipe by healthiness and diet concerns. While some fall under the category Not So Bad For You, most of them are labeled the more enticing Oh So Good But Bad for You. Other labels are Vegetarian, Vegan, and finally, Lactose-Free—under which you can find the recipe for the memorably monikered Lactard’s Surprise.

As for that strangely named dish, Farris delivers the traditional tuna-noodle casserole (with the familiar crunchy fried onions on top), as well as a slightly classier Grown Up Tuna Casserole using artichoke hearts—which is both ultra-satisfying and easy to make. Break out the vintage Pyrex bakeware; it’s time to give it a workout. (And after eating, you could probably use one too.) [COLLEEN KANE]

DESIRE: Where Sex Meets Addiction

By Susan Cheever (Simon and Schuster) In this engrossing psychological memoir, acclaimed author

and addict Susan Cheever (daughter of novelist John Cheever) exposes the ugly underbelly of romantic love: sexual addiction. Though similar in symptoms and scope to alcohol and drug addiction, it’s still not commonly accepted as a disease. Why? Because romantic love is so idealized in our culture that many folks—especially women—may not realize that love does not equal obsession, and that obsession is not healthy. Cheever sets out to explore the differences between passion and love, desire and need, and raises weighty questions about why—and how—we love.

Cheever seamlessly blends personal stories from her addictive romantic life with interviews, psychology, and science. She is brutally honest about the ways in which she has used sexual dalliances to help distract her and make her feel more alive: “Whenever there was a crisis, I found a man to help me take the edge off the feelings of helplessness and pain,” she writes.

As a recovering alcoholic and expert on addiction herself (she au-

thored My Name Is Bill, a definitive biography of Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson, as well as Home Before Dark, about her alcoholic father), Cheever believes that addictions are interdependent. She quotes doctors and counselors who study the chemical and physical similarities of love and addiction, and makes a case for a new, more cohesive model of treatment. [LAURA BARCELLA]

THE DIRTY BITS FOR GIRLS Edited by India Knight (Virago) Did anyone ever really learn about sex from that Miracle of Life video in health class or the terribly awkward “birds and bees” talk from our parents? Of course not. Our dude friends had their moms’ Victoria’s Secret catalogs and that infamous pool scene from Wild Things. And we had Judy Blume’s Forever and Pauline Réage’s The Story of O. What editor India Knight captures in The Dirty Bits for Girls is not only some of the // BUST / 087

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the guide BOOKS quintessential one-handed reads of our teen years but also, as she writes in the introduction, the “sense of what it was like being aged 13 to 17, virgo intacta and ravenously curious about sex, reading by torchlight after lights out, amazed, with all our adult life ahead of us.” She includes classic erotic excerpts like the “zipless fuck” fantasy from Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying, where two strangers fondle each other in the semi-darkness of a train tunnel, and the passage from Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin in which an artist’s model learns about the advantages of strong pelvic floor muscles. Sure, these passages are meant to get you hot and bothered, but The Dirty Bits does more than that. Knight recalls, “We didn’t just lie about reading these books and giggling, or gawping, or both: we were awakened by them to an entire world of sexual and emotional possibilities—and not least, to the notion of female solidarity.” So invite a few lady friends over, read some “dirty bits” aloud, and let these juicy stories relaunch you into the incredible adventure that was your sexual awakening. [GINA MARIE VASOLI]

FACTORY GIRLS: From Village to City in a Changing China

By Leslie T. Chang (Spiegel & Grau) This illuminating study by journalist Leslie Chang is an intimate view into an unfathomably vast scene: over 114 million people in China have left their villages for urban work, creating the largest migration in human history.

Chang focuses on the sprawling, industrial city of Dongguan, where she estimates 70 percent of the workforce is young women. As she discovers, these ordinary factory girls are revolutionary agents of change in Chinese culture.

Chang befriends two teenage girls whom she meets on break from their grueling day in Yue Yuen, where 70,000 laborers make designer sneakers between sleep-shifts, and follows them over several years as they climb from job to job. These girls are relentlessly ambitious—not for money (they make about $72 a month) but about developing them-

selves; they are driven to learn, study English, find new skills, and expand their wealth of experience. The money they send back home to the farm has given them unprecedented economic power within the family structure, subverting a tradition that dictates submission to elders; to a certain extent, the daughters are now calling the shots. In exchange, they work 60 hours a week, sleep in metal bunks 10 to a room, and regularly and voluntarily lose months of back pay when they move to another factory because they don’t want to confront their bosses, who would try to force them to stay. The insight into today’s China that these girls’ lives provide is truly enlightening. Theirs is a poignant story set in a corrupt, chaotic, and untrustworthy world, where if your best friend “jumps” to a new factory, you may never see her again.

[FRAN WILLING]

THE FLYING TROUTMANS: A Novel

By Miriam Toews (Counterpoint) Miriam Toews’ newest novel is the story of a family in crisis: a mother is hospitalized after a breakdown, leaving a teenage son to act out, an eccentric preteen daughter to suffer from neglect, and their 20something Aunt Hattie to manage this deteriorating situation. What does Hattie do to cope? Go on a road trip, of course, with grieving and confused teenagers in tow.

What makes this story a little more unusual than the standard dysfunctional family drama is the quirkiness of each character. Thebes, the preteen eccentric, mixes a blend of hip-hop slang, youthful enthusiasm, and old-soul sensibility, which can be both jarring and amusing. Her brother, Logan, ventures between the slouch of the angry young man and the shrug of the sensitive sibling. Hattie, the narrator, is at turns bemused, infuriated, and moved by it all, and presumably, this is what we the readers should also feel.

Unfortunately, a key force in this story is missing: Min, the hospitalized mother, never really emerges as a full character. Hattie tries to

reassure us (and herself) that Min, pre-breakdown, was compelling and charming, but we see her acting only as an indifferent parent and a frail invalid. It is hard to identify with the loss of someone when you have no clear sense of who has been lost. It is the heartbreaking particularity of fiction that can move readers, and while there are many details to savor in this novel, the character whose tragedy drives the plot remains, to the end, something of a blank. [LAURA STOKES]

HELLIONS: Pop Culture’s Rebel Women

By Maria Raha (Seal Press) Maria Raha, author of the 2004 book Cinderella’s Big Score: Women of the Punk and Indie Underground, has once again written an excellent, feminist popculture primer. Contradicting the stereotypical notion that feminist critics look only to pop culture for images to criticize, in Hellions, Raha instead singles out role models to celebrate in film, TV, popular music, and literature since the early 20th century. In the process, she makes a compelling and highly readable case for her assertion that “without robust models of rebellion that we embrace in mainstream culture, young girls are far less likely to explore their own, self-defined, diverging paths.”

Raha’s own path to this argument opens with a well-intended summary of the male rebel in pop culture, whose simultaneous appeal and danger for female fans she rightfully wishes to acknowledge, but which ultimately comes across as rambling and repetitive. Hang in there, though: once Raha starts cooking on the book’s real subject, she hits her stride. From Mae West to Sarah Michelle Gellar, Billie Holliday to Beth Ditto, Virginia Woolf to Judy Blume, Raha deftly surfs across dense waves of women’s history to address the glimmers of feminist rebellion therein, even as she refuses to downplay many of these same women’s questionable choices, self-destructiveness, or even outright antifeminism. While

readers already familiar with more focused and scholarly studies on the subject may find Hellions too general a history, those interested in a starting point for their own research on feminism and popular culture could ask for no better or more sophisticated an introduction. [MARIA ELENA BUSZEK ]

HOLY ROLLER: Growing Up in the Church of Knock Down, Drag Out; Or, How I Quit Loving a Blue-Eyed Jesus

By Diane Wilson (Chelsea Green) Before writing An Unreasonable Woman, an account of how her environmental activism got a chemical company to quit dumping waste into the Gulf Coast of Texas, Diane Wilson was a young girl scratching notes to Jesus into the paint of her small-town bedroom window. And this new memoir is strictly located in Wilson’s childhood, without any meddlesome hindsight tripping things up or even any foreshadowing of the dramatic heroism that would come in her adulthood.

Wilson is an impressionable young girl and the designated tagalong for a number of adventures with her shrimp-fisherman father, her ghostwhisperer grandfather, and the Godfearing women in her family. She spends a lot of this narrative getting preached to and trying to figure out if her uncle was killed, disappeared, neither, or both. She observes the practices of a snake-handling preacher and a crooked game warden, eyes and ears wide open.

Wilson finally speaks in writing this memoir, and she tells her story with a voice so potent and clear you can almost hear her rural Texan drawl.

But the strength of her narrative voice illuminates the only drawback to this otherwise engaging book— she bears witness to these captivating people, places, and events, but as observer more than participant, so we are given a colorful report without ever really getting to meet our narrator. Despite the title, there’s minimal knocking down or dragging out, and she doesn’t lose her religion so much as question it, a little. [CHRISTINE FEMIA]

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BOOKS {INTERVIEW}

commitment issues

NORAH VINCENT GOT MORE THAN JUST REST WHEN SHE WENT UNDERCOVER FOR VOLUNTARY MADNESS

PHOTO BY FREDRIK BRODEN

What’s the relationship between SelfMade Man and your new book?

After having masqueraded [as a man], I kind of lost my grip. I got very depressed, and my therapist suggested going to the hospital for a few days. I called beforehand and said, “I’m going to commit myself voluntarily. I’m assuming that means I can come and go as I like and I can leave when I want.” They assured me that was the case. It turned out not to be the case. On a number of levels, being there made me feel worse, and I realized it was incredibly counterproductive for a lot of people.

IN HER FIRST book, 2006’s Self-Made Man, immersion journalist Norah Vincent disguised herself as a man to parse male culture from the inside. Now she’s back with Voluntary Madness (due out in December from Viking Penguin/Putnam), a similarly eye-opening investigation in which Vincent commits herself to multiple psych wards to get to the bottom of “the bin.” Here, she talks about the book, her own depression, and the microcosm that is “the ward.”

INVINCIBLE SUMMER 2

By Nicole Georges (Microcosm Publishing) Here’s what you’ll learn about Nicole Georges from reading the second anthology of her autobiographical comic, Invincible Summer: she has dark hair that she teases into a funky beehive; she can barely see two feet in front of her without her black-rimmed specs; she shops vintage stores for granny-chic finds; she adores animals, especially her dachshunds; she adores drawing quirky-cute pictures of animals, especially her dachshunds; and she’s teaching the world, from kids to se-

After such a bad experience, why commit yourself three more times?

As a writer, I was fascinated by the way the ward was a microcosm of human struggle—there was comedy and tragedy, pathos and ridiculousness. You really had to think, “How do the doctors interact with the patients? Who is really doing the healing, and who isn’t?” Being an immersion journalist, it seemed like a good way to take the measure of my culture.

nior citizens, how to express themselves through ’zines. It’s mostly superficial stuff, really. If you’re not already familiar with the Oregon illustrator or her work (maybe you’ll recognize her from the 2007 Sister Spit spoken-word tour, which she chronicles here), you won’t come away from this book, which is basically a compilation of illustrated diary entries, with a profound understanding of Nicole Georges, her creative or intellectual influences, her family background, her romantic relationships, her worldview, or her professional aspirations.

However, Georges and her drawings are so charming and likable, so endearingly self-effacing, that following her life is an easy pleasure. We watch as Georges cobbles together

Eventually, you go to an alternative facility with a focus on “mind, body, and spirit” and seem to have some success treating your depression. Do you think this could have happened without the book project?

I don’t think I would have sought it out. It was during the process of examining what might be wrong that I started to look for what might be right.

Voluntary Madness stresses the importance of patients taking responsibility for their care. What are some ways to do this?

On my Web site [www.norahvincent. net], I have a feature called “What’s Your Story?” where readers can write in with their experiences. What I really want to do is start a conversation, because one of the biggest things I took away was questioning. Question your doctors, question this idea that medication is always the first line of defense, and question what we really know about mental illness. [ NICOLE PASULKA]

a livelihood as an artist, bops around Portland (which she depicts as a lo-fi version of The L Word) with her gal pals, and tries to be a dependable friend, a loyal girlfriend, a loving and attentive dog owner, and, eventually, a responsible homeowner. In blackand-white ink, Georges draws her world as fun, amusingly chaotic, and inspiring—not at all a bad place to be. [CORRIE PIKUL]

MADE FROM SCRATCH: Discovering the Pleasures of a Handmade Life

By Jenna Woginrich (Storey Publishing) Maybe you can stitch together a skirt. Perhaps you

prefer to shop vintage. You might even manage to grow some of your own food. But whatever it is you do, Jenna Woginrich can kick your earth-friendly, DIY, recycling ass. Because not only does she do all of the above, but she also grows her own (angora) yarn, raises her own chickens, keeps her own bees, and churns her own butter. As a homesteader, Woginrich ultimately strives to be as self-sufficient as possible, and in this book she encourages even us citydwellers to get off the grid in whatever ways we can.

We featured Woginrich in the last issue of BUST and told a bit about how she went from a run-of-the-mill city girl to a grinds-her-own-coffeein-a-mill farm girl. In Made from // BUST / 089

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the guide Scratch, she gives a bit more insight into how she made that conversion and what her life is like now—a tale that is also detailed daily on her blog, Coldantlerfarm.blogspot. com. Woginrich is funny, and the stories she tells are both completely relatable and inspirational to the extreme—when she describes the joys of baking her own bread, I want to run right home and get out the loaf pan, and when she discusses the benefits of making coffee in a percolator, I’m ready to set aside my Krups. But chunks of this book are devoted to instructional bits, which are both too much and not enough.

I would have rather read more of her delightful personal stories about her adventures in beekeeping than the few pages explaining how to get started keeping them myself—after all, if I were really going to do that, I would need much more than a few pages of info.

I devoured this book in a single evening, savoring every morsel, and it left me feeling freshly encouraged to live a more down-to-earth life. I can’t get enough of reading about Woginrich’s life on her Vermont farm, where she plays her fiddle by the campfire, wakes to the sound of roosters crowing, and has trained her dogs to pull her around on a sled, and this book left me wanting much, much more. Hopefully, someday she’ll write a sequel and skip the instructional parts. Until then, there’s always her blog. [DEBBIE STOLLER]

A MAP OF HOME

By Randa Jarrar (Other Press) When the dawn of her 13th birthday is accompanied by falling bombs heralding the Gulf War, Kuwaiti teenager Nidali notes, “There’s a moment when most children know their childhoods are over. That was mine.”

A Map of Home—by Kuwait-born Randa Jarrar—is the coming-of-age story of a country-less girl: born in Boston, Nidali is raised in Kuwait, flees with her family to Egypt during the 1990 Iraqi invasion, and finishes high school in Texas, the site of her father’s new job. “I always felt like I’d

left something behind at home until I realized that what I’d left behind was home,” Nidali says after so many moves. Complicating matters is the tumultuous relationship between her Palestinian father and Greek-Egyptian mother, who volley curses at each other like bombs. Yet Nidali is still a typical teenager, grappling with the lust that accompanies her first love and worrying about making friends.

More unusual is the angry letter she pens to Saddam Hussein, furious at being uprooted from Kuwait: “When you decided to invade the country where I grew up (and when you decided this, sir, were you on some seriously strong hashish?) did you, at any point, stop and consider the teenage population?” Nidali’s voice is a winning combination of the detailed observations of a wannabe writer and the snark of an acerbic adolescent, and with her as a tour guide, readers won’t need a map through this spectacularly fresh and funny debut novel.

[IRIS BLASI]

MS. HEMPEL CHRONICLES

By Sarah Shun-Lien Bynum (Harcourt) Sarah Shun-Lien Bynum’s debut novel, Madeleine Is Sleeping, showcased her keen poetic sensibility and earned her a nomination for the National Book Award in 2004. That novel was steeped in the landscape of the Gothic fairy tale; in her followup offering, Bynum has chosen to set her characters down in the most ordinary of circumstances: day-to-day life in a middle school. Ms. Hempel Chronicles is really a series of interconnected short stories about the protagonist, a young and uncertain teacher in her first few years in the classroom. Although these first few years are the present-day of the novel, in the interest of exploring the character, Bynum moves back in time to Ms. Hempel’s childhood as well as forward to her future.

Bynum proves she has enduring talent with this novel, which maintains the delicate, light touch of her first book while navigating the blurry line between adolescence and adult-

hood. Ms. Hempel has an extraordinary ability to observe both her coworkers and her students, and it is in her observations of others—witty, perceptive, and tinged slightly with jealousy—that the complexities of her nature are revealed. Her uncertainties, her sense of longing, her failures, and her triumphs repeat themselves over the course of the stories, from her childhood to the glow of her maternal middle-age, immersing the reader to such a degree that these small twists and turns of life become completely engaging. [LAURA STOKES]

MY SO-CALLED FREELANCE LIFE: How to Survive and Thrive as a Creative Professional for Hire

By Michelle Goodman (Seal Press) Since we’re all shitting our pants over the current economic situation, this book couldn’t come at a better time.

My So-Called Freelance Life saunters its way through the ins and outs of becoming a successful solo professional, whether you’re a newly graduated 20something trapped in a monotonous cubicle job or a new mom looking for flexible hours. Having accumulated a great deal of experience on the topic, Michelle Goodman (author of The Anti 9-to-5 Guide) leaves no paperweight unturned, explaining how to get started, maintain a budget and schedule, gather/weed out clientele, and legally cover your ass. Goodman includes a bevy of relevant links, contacts, organizations, and advice on everything from negotiating your hourly rate to when to quit working for the Man. While her book thoroughly covers every fundamental career intricacy you can imagine, wit and hilarity are also seated firmly within. (She even quotes Peter Gallagher on The OC, thus actualizing the poetry of my heart.) Not only is this book an incredible guide on how to get started, but it’s also inspiring and oddly comforting. “You can’t hitch your entire creative career on one big break—or one fat failure,” Goodman writes, “you have to keep moving forward, reaching for bigger and better.”

It’s a book you will feel compelled to keep in your personal library (probably

between your college dictionary and your religious tome of choice), or you can be like me and sleep with it in your arms. [WHITNEY DWIRE]

A SHORT LIFE OF TROUBLE: Forty Years in the New York Art World

By Marcia Tucker (University of California Press) As with her life, this memoir from the late, great one-woman art army Marcia Tucker gets off to a shaky start. Tucker, born in Brooklyn in 1940 and raised in New Jersey, pitches herself in the first chapters as a lovable ugly duckling whose family endeavored to stymie her every attempt to blossom, and it’s hard not to imagine what all this self-pity forebodes. But once Tucker frees herself from family remembrances, the book—again, much like her life—becomes a joyful exploration of all things art-related. Tucker’s retelling of her meteoric rise—from her work for art-world eccentrics Bill and Norma Copley in the ’60s, to her post as the first female curator at the Whitney Museum in 1969, to her founding of The New Museum in 1977—is both entertaining and inspiring. And the peep she offers into her journey toward sexual, intellectual, and emotional liberation provides an illuminating snapshot of a classic second-wave feminist experience.

Considering her one-sided perspective on her childhood, Tucker’s balanced assessment of her work and personal life is commendable. She admits to a passing acquaintance with Dexedrine, a series of “relationships” in which she’s more doormat than partner, and a tendency toward workaholism—a necessary evil if she wanted to get anywhere in the art world of the ’70s, a gruff boys’ club that often viewed women more as PMSing, emotional time bombs than equals. Her tenacity and determination won the day, and she successfully flouted convention both in the art world and her personal life. Pregnant at 43, Tucker married her much-younger love, who stayed home while she charged outside to change the world. She died of cancer in 2006, a lodestar twinkling brightly in the artistic firmament. [KATHLEEN WILLCOX]

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the guide BOOKS STIR IT UP: Home Economics in American Culture

By Megan J. Elias (University of Pennsylvania Press) “Home ec” may typically conjure up images of Donna Reed–style women in aprons, but cooking and sewing play a surprisingly minor part in this smart examination of the shifting role that home ec has played in American culture. According to Elias, home ec has its roots in a late–19th century social movement to professionalize and legitimize domestic work—particularly through the physical and social sciences. In fact, writes Elias, when a prominent University of Illinois home economist was asked how many credits her students received for “bread making,” she bit back, “Not much, because we are not baking much bread.”

Rather, in their coursework, students were studying it—right alongside subjects like bacteriology and sanitation, nutrition, textiles, and, yes, economics. Over the ensuing decades, however, home ec faced two debilitating hurdles: in the 1920s, corporations began to claim the “domestic expertise” that had previously been the domain of home economists; and in the 1950s, home ec acquired its current stigma of being a cop-out, sexist high-school class where students learn little more than to bake casseroles. It goes without saying that the movement never recovered from these blows to its cultural authority and was ultimately ineffective at changing society’s valuation of “women’s work”—though it can be lauded for providing at least a handful of women with professional experiences. At a time when we’re still grappling with questions about gender, domesticity, and consumerism, Elias’ history of home ec provides a thought-provoking glimpse into a movement that has helped to shape our understanding of these very issues. [ERICA WETTER]

YES MEANS YES: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape Edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti (Seal Press) Of all the arguments out there that propose how to end rape, embracing women’s sexual pleasure may not sound like a likely solution. But Yes Means Yes argues otherwise. By nvestigating the myriad ways the sexual choices of women can take shape, this anthology argues, not only should women know what they don’t want, but they also should seize their freedom to explore what they do want. By challenging blanket claims, like that all males are sexual aggressors, and taking the shame away from females who are bona fide sexual submissives, Yes Means Yes says the conscious decisions we make about sex in its many forms are the best medicine for the illness that is rape culture.

The anthology includes a diverse range of perspectives, including Kimberly Springer’s investigation of black female heterosexuality and Julia Serano’s deconstructing of the “nice guy” from a transsexual’s perspective. The work also moves beyond the front-to-back organization of your typical anthology, grouping the essays by subject and referencing related works within the anthology after each essay. This allows the reader to explore the work more freely (If you liked “How Do You Fuck a Fat Woman?” you may also enjoy similar titles such as “Sex Worth Fighting For” or “Who’re You Calling a Whore?”) This hyperlink-style of organizing is effective—moving the reader past passages that she may not care for and on to ones that are more relevant to helping her understand sexuality as a powerful tool instead of a congenital burden. [TAYLOR CHAP’LIN ORCI]

BUST (ISSN 1089-4713), No. 53, Dec/Jan, 2009. BUST is published bi-monthly in Feb/Mar, April/ May, June/July, Aug/Sept, Oct/Nov, and Dec/Jan by BUST, Inc., 78 5th Avenue #5, New York, NY, 10011-8000. Printed in the U.S.A. Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY, and additional mailing offices. Subscription prices, payable in U.S. funds, are $19.95 for one year (6 issues). Additional postage: In Canada add $10 per year, and in all other foreign countries add $20 per year.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BUST, P.O. BOX 16775, NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA, 91615.

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sex files

just for the taste of it WE PUT A PRODUCT’S SEMEN-SWEETENING PROMISE TO THE TEST

HAWK KRALL

FUNKY-TASTING SPUNK is something no woman wants to encounter. But when it comes to eradicating the foul taste of semen, urban legends abound—pineapple juice! veganism!—while no reliable solution exists. Which is why we were stoked to find out about Semenex (www.semenex. com, $44.95 for a 10-serving container), an all-natural powdered supplement that purportedly makes a man’s ejaculate more palatable. Too good to be true? We set a couple of taste testers on the case.

Tester 1: I have never been one to swallow. To be frank, I spit at the thought of cum in my mouth. So I jumped at the chance to have my man try a supplement that could turn my sour face into a smile laced with flavored jizz. First, we followed the instructions to “release” prior to taking the supplement. Next, we dissolved two scoops of powder in our choice of beverage—I rooted for vodka, but he chose Gatorade resulting in a flavor he described as liquid oatmeal with maple syrup. Twelve hours later, I went in for a taste test—no dice. In the name of science, I put pie hole to penis again at the 24-hour mark, but he still shot sour babies. In theory Semenex is a great idea; unfortunately, all we ended up with was a bunch of dirty towels. [BLOW - J FAYE ]

Tester 2: I used to be a good girlfriend.

Religious blowjobs and sex at least three times a week were standard. Lately, not so much. Needless to say, my boyfriend was practically overjoyed with my Semenex-testing assignment. We followed the instructions: ejaculate at night (check), drink the supplement before sleeping (check), and blow a bettertasting wad the following day (wad blown, taste unchanged).

The next night, he gently reminded me about continuing our “science experiment.” So we got it on, he drank the Semenex, and in the morning I gave him yet another b.j.—and was yet again disappointed by an all-too-familiar flavor. So my boyfriend unloaded four times in two days with no change in taste—does this sound like a male conspiracy, or what?

“Does BUST plan on evaluating AnalEaze?” he asked with a wry smile. “Yeah, honey, that’s next,” I replied. “So what size strap-on should I get?” [COCKJAW CARA]

license to drill

STFREE HELPS PROVE YOU’RE A SAFE LAY LET’S TALK ABOUT ease and accessibility, baby, because we’re a culture totally obsessed with both—especially in the bedroom. Which is why the Safe Sex License, a wallet-sized ID card that gives potential partners easy access to your HIV status, is so darn handy.

Brooklyn-based company STFree Certifications launched the license in 2004, in an effort to get new paramours talking freely about their pos or neg status. Simply present the card and private PIN to your partner pre-deed, and he or she can call a secured info line for your most recent results. The $19.99 regular membership allows for storage of one test (which STFree verifies with your clinic after you voluntarily submit the result), while the premium membership requires you to submit follow-up tests to maintain your account—vital, since HIV antibodies often take months to turn a test positive.

But the Safe Sex License isn’t permission to be lax; it proves you’ve been tested, not that you’re negative. STFree strives only to make the conversation a little easier, whether the news is good or bad. And though pausing the passion to make a call isn’t the easiest thing ever, it’s a step in the right direction for hooking up in these modern times. Now, if you could just get the results texted to your iPhone. [MOLLIE WELLS]

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sex files

ask aunt betty and cousin carlin DR. BETTY DODSON AND CARLIN ROSS TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO ASK

Q.

I’m a 33-year-old woman with a healthy masturbation habit. But the only way

Q.

I have a five-year IUD as my method of birth control and suffer from both bacterial vaginosis and yeast

I can bring myself to orgasm is by dry humping

infections so frequently that I forget what it feels like to have

a pillow or piece of furniture. Are there any risks

a normal, healthy vagina! It seems like I treat one infection,

involved with this method (e.g., urinary tract dam-

then get the other, or the first comes back. The medicines my

age, cancer)? Also, I’ve tried to manually stimulate

doctors have prescribed work less effectively each time, and

myself to no avail, as has my husband. It usually

when I ask if the infections could be linked to my IUD, I get

feels like sandpaper on my clit no matter how

mixed answers. Besides wearing cotton underwear and eating

gently we touch. What’s up with that?

yogurt all the time, is there anything I can do to reduce the

Rubbed the Wrong Way

frequency of my infections? Should I have my IUD removed?

Bitchin’ from the Itchin’

Carlin says: There is no shame in needing a little vibration or friction to get your rocks off. I’ve never been able to manually stimulate myself solo (my Hitachi Magic Wand is permanently on my nightstand), although I love to play with my clit during partnersex and have had some huge orgasms that way. I agree with Betty that it’s time to upgrade your masturbation technique and do some vibe shopping—fun!

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Betty says: You’ve answered your own question. Absolutely get that damn IUD out, out, out. And stop taking antibiotics to avoid building immunity, or they won’t work when you really need them. It’s time to look at your diet and begin self-healing. I suggest eliminating white sugar, flour, dairy, and all highly processed foods, for starters. What a shame that the diaphragm—which doesn’t interfere with a woman’s hormonal health—went out of fashion because the big pharmaceutical corporations make more money on pills, pills, and more pills. Using a diaphragm does require mastering the application of a spermicidal cream and learning to insert it. But during this process, I became familiar with my vagina, as I checked the mouth of my cervix to make sure my little rubber flying saucer was in place. A health practitioner remarked recently, “Teaching a young woman today about inserting a diaphragm would be like telling a ghost with no body what to do.” So for some women, I guess popping a birthcontrol pill is easier, even though it will mess with your hormones.

Carlin says: God, I miss my diaphragm. I’m on the pill now to regulate my period, but it was such a no-fuss option that I didn’t have to think about every day. Get one!

And I second Betty on her advice about changing your diet. My sister was on so many antibiotics to combat her Lyme disease that she had chronic yeast infections that made her want to pull her hair out. Her solution: eating yogurt and wearing cotton panties (which you already do); urinating after sex; and little to no sugar and carbs in her diet. She dropped a few pounds and her pussy was back to normal in a month. Trust your intuition on this one. You know your body.

MARCELLUS HALL

Betty says: It’s time for you to upgrade your masturbation skills. I’ve seen and heard from many women who are stuck with their childhood masturbation technique that always consists of some form of very indirect clitoral contact. Although I doubt dry humping will cause any damage or cancer, it will limit your sex life, as you’ve already seen. No clit should ever be touched without some kind of quality massage oil, and it’s up to you to gradually get yours accustomed to direct contact. It’s no fun having a sex organ that’s too sensitive to touch. Altering your old masturbation style will take time and patience, but it will be well worth it. My prescription is to do a 10-minute vulva massage at least twice a week while watching in the mirror (you can find detailed instructions on www. dodsonandross.com). Combining touch with visual input simultaneously is the best way to reclaim your sex organ from the patterns that were instilled during childhood.

Got a question for Betty and Carlin? Post it at www.bust.com/auntbetty

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sex files ONE-HANDED READ

the maintenance man AN EXHIBITIONIST’S FANTASY GOES FROM BAD TO RAD [BY IT HAD SEEMED like a great idea this morning, but now, I seriously regretted not wearing underwear. The wind was much stronger than I’d anticipated, and it was wreaking havoc with the hem of my flirty skirt. This scenario was far from the fantasy I’d recently been entertaining. For one thing, the audience was all wrong. There were no hot guys around to appreciate the frequent exposure of my upper thighs. Instead, there were Upper West Side moms complete with toddlers in designer overalls, and a smattering of old people with their foreign caregivers. This part of the park was definitely not where I wanted to “accidentally” show off my freshly shaved pussy. It figures; that’s what I get for trying to break out of my respectable mold and get wild!

I needed to escape before I gave an octogenarian a heart attack. Spotting a wooded area off the main path, I held my purse against my rear, tugged the front of my skirt down, and scuttled around the corner of what looked to be a park maintenance building before ducking into a recessed doorway. What was I going to do? I’d thought it all through—checked the weather, took a cab to the heart of Central Park. I’d planned to walk down to a secluded little grove I had stumbled upon the previous week, where I had also discovered a very handsome, very hard businessman leaning back on a bench, stroking himself during his lunch hour. I’d hid behind a tree, my pussy getting wet as I spied on him manhandling his shaft, squeezing up and down. He came, stream after stream of white milk jetting from his cock. I watched him leave, then stuck my hand down my panties, furiously fingering myself to a hard, rapid orgasm. The scene stayed with me, and night after night I imagined running into the businessman in the park, or maybe a bike messenger or a college student.

Wearing a light, swishy spring skirt with no panties underneath, I’d walk to the far side of the grove, drop something, and bend over to pick it up.

My fantasy got hazy at this point, but it was enough to drive me to take a chance. Stupid, stupid!

I peered into the window of the maintenance building. Inside were lockers and a sink, as well as rakes, shovels, and a hedge trimmer. I tried the handle, and the door unexpectedly opened. Being inside and out of the wind made me a bit less panicky about flashing my cooch to unsuspecting mothers, but I needed a plan. No, I needed underwear!

I tried a few lockers and then surprisingly found what I was looking for.

The boxers were a little dingy, so I raised them to my nose to check their reasonable cleanliness.

“Excuse me, can I help you?” a polite but suspicious male voice cut through the silence.

There I was, trespassing and sniffing underwear. I couldn’t have looked more like a pervert if I tried. I turned around, my face hot. Of course, it was one of the most gorgeous men I’d ever seen who’d caught me looking like a fool. I couldn’t meet his eyes, but I also couldn’t miss his wellsculpted arms and strong jaw line. In a scenario like this, I figured honesty was the best policy. “Um, hi. I’m looking for boxers.”

“Yes, I can see that.” His voice was calm, but his eyes were smiling. He had a slight Spanish accent that made my heart flutter.

“It’s not what it looks like. See, I forgot to wear panties today, and now

HUNTER LONDON]

the wind is really strong, and I need to make it home without getting arrested, so I thought I’d borrow someone’s shorts,” I said, my voice more confident than I felt.

“So you figured you’d break into our office and steal my drawers.” He smiled, but I was mortified. “And how do you ‘forget’ to wear panties?”

He took a step toward me. “Especially with a skirt that short?” I watched his eyes roaming up and down my smooth caramel legs. “Sounds like maybe you wanted someone to see.”

Things were suddenly turning around. Secluded place? Check. Hot man who obviously wanted me? Check. Easily accessible pussy? Well, that was a given! Falling into the role I’d been fantasizing about, I looked at him with slightly lowered, sultry eyes. “Maybe I did. And maybe I didn’t see anyone,” I paused for emphasis, “hot enough to handle what I could show them.” I saw surprise flicker across his eyes. I boldly looked him up and down. “Have I found him?” I sauntered up to the maintenance man, swaying my hips, and placed a hand on his chest, feeling rock-hard pecs underneath his uniform. He looked down at me, his longish black hair falling into his eyes. I lifted my face to him, and he lowered his lips to mine. I darted my tongue in between his succulent lips, and he sucked it gently while my fingers started unbuttoning his shirt. He broke away.

“Oh, no, no, no. You don’t come in here, steal my boxers, and then try to get me naked. You wanted to show off, and that’s what you’re going to do.” He cupped my plump buttocks in his large, callused hands and started to knead them. “Girl, you got a juicy ass.” He lifted me around his waist and carried me to the counter by the sink, placing me down gently. He knelt, lifted up my skirt, and spread my legs. “Damn, you got a gorgeous pussy. And you’re already wet.” He pressed a finger inside me, curved it up against my G-spot, then pulled it out and put it up against my mouth.

I sucked my juices greedily as he watched, lust filling his eyes. He bent his head down and started licking the length of my dripping slit, probing with his tongue. I grabbed his thick hair and started grinding against his mouth.

He pulled away, enjoying my rampant arousal.

“Don’t stop!” I panted.

“Oh, I’m not going to stop. I just like seeing a lady get wild.” He forcefully thrust a thick finger inside me, and I exhaled with pleasure. I closed my eyes and felt his lips close around my clit. He sucked it as he flicked his tongue over the hood. I played with my pebble-hard nipple with one hand and used the other to pull him toward me. I felt him add another finger to his thrusting, and my muscles contracted around him. I groaned louder and louder, until his tongue pushed me over the breaking point.

Moaning as my body shook, my legs wrapped him in a vice grip. But he didn’t stop sucking my clit. I was so sensitive, even the faintest breath on my pussy could have made me come, and feeling his firm and insistent lips probing around my button drove me into several waves of shattering orgasms. Only when I was nearly limp did he remove his head from between my legs.

He stood up and rolled a condom onto his thick cock. I licked my lips, ready for him to plunge into me. His first thrust made me moan, and he grittily exhaled from the pleasure of my tight walls clasping

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around him. I grabbed his firm ass and pulled him into me, fast and hard. I was greedy and I wanted him all. Primed from all his oral attention, I came after only a few dozen strokes, my pussy pulsing around his thick dick. Almost instantaneously, I felt him starting to climax. He pumped like thunder and released a primal yell as he gave a few final thrusts. We panted, sweaty in each other’s arms. I smiled lazily at him when I finally spoke. “What’s your name again?” B United States Postal Service Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation: 1. Publication Title: BUST 2. Publication Number: 1089-4713 3. Filing Date: October 1, 2008 4. Issue Frequency: Bimonthly 5. Number of issues published annually: 6 6. Annual subscription price: $19.95 7. Complete mailing address of known office of publication: 78 Fifth Ave., 5th floor, New York NY 10011 Contact Person: Debbie Stoller Telephone: 212 675-1707. 8. Complete mailing address of headquarters or general business office of publisher: 78 Fifth Ave, 5th floor, New York NY 10011 9. Full names and complete addresses of Publisher, Editor and Managing Editor: Publisher, BUST Inc., 78 Fifth Ave., 5th floor, New York NY 10011, Editor, Debbie Stoller, 78 Fifth Ave., 5th floor, New York NY 10011, Managing Editor: Emily Rems, 78 Fifth Ave., 5th floor, New York NY 10011 10. Owner (If the publication is owned by a corporation, give the name and address of the corporation, immediately followed by the names and addresses of all stockholders owning or holding 1 percent or more of the total amount of stock. If not owned by a corporation, give the names and addresses of the individual owners. If owned by a partnership or other unincorporated firm, give its name and address, as well as those of each individual owner.

If the publication is published by a non-profit organization, give its name and address.) BUST Inc., 78 Fifth Ave., 5th floor, New York, NY 10011; Debbie Stoller, 78 Fifth Ave., 5th floor, New York, NY 10011; Laurie Henzel, 78 Fifth Ave., 5th floor, New York, NY 10011 11. Known bondholders, mortgagees, and other security holders, owning or holding 1 percent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages, or other securities: NONE. 12. N/A 13. Publication title: BUST. 14. Issue date for circulation data below: Oct/Nov 2008. 15. Average no. copies each issue during preceding 12 months: A. Total no. copies (Net press run) 79,785. B. Paid and/or requested circulation: 1. Paid/Requested Outside-County Mail Subscriptions: 20,833. 2. Paid In-County Subscriptions: 0. 3. Sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors and counter sales: 33,029. 4. Other Classes mailed through the USPS: 500. C. Total paid and/or requested circulation: 54,361. D. Free distribution by mail: 0. E. Free distribution outside the mail: 3,438.

F. Total free distribution: 3,438. G. Total distribution: 57,799. H. Copies not distributed: 21,986. I. Total: 79,785. J. Percent paid and/or requested circulation: 94%. No. copies of single issue published nearest to filing date: A. Total no. copies printed (Net press run) 71,620. B. Paid and/or requested circulation: 1.

Paid/Requested Outside-County Mail Subscriptions: 20,367. 2. Paid In-County Subscriptions: 0. 3. Sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors and counter sales: 48,327. 4. Other Classes mailed through the USPS: 500. C. Total paid and/or requested circulation: 69,194 D. Free distribution by mail: 0. E. Free distribution outside the mail: 840. F. Total free distribution: 840. G. Total distribution: 70,034. H. Copies not distributed: 1,586. I. Total: 71,620. J. Percent paid and/or requested circulation: 99%. 16. This statement of ownership will be printed in the December 2008 issue of this publication. 17. Signature and Title of Editor, Publisher, Business Manager, or Owner: Debbie Stoller, Publisher. I certify that all information furnished on this form is true and complete.

// BUST / 097

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bustshop SHE COMMERCE, SERVICES, AND MORE

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION EMAIL ADS@BUST.COM OR CALL 212.675.1707 X106

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bustshop SHE COMMERCE, SERVICES, AND MORE

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION EMAIL ADS@BUST.COM OR CALL 212.675.1707 X106

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bustshop SHE COMMERCE, SERVICES, AND MORE

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION EMAIL ADS@BUST.COM OR CALL 212.675.1707 X106

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bustshop SHE COMMERCE, SERVICES, AND MORE

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION EMAIL ADS@BUST.COM OR CALL 212.675.1707 X106

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bustshop SHE COMMERCE, SERVICES, AND MORE

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION EMAIL ADS@BUST.COM OR CALL 212.675.1707 X106

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www.orangyporangy.com Stripe tease skirt

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www.QuiteCuntrary.etsy.com She.Shell Pendant $25

www.poise.cc Sue The Laptop Bag

$100

www.partypantspads.com Mini Cloth Pad Kit $32.99

www.papaververt.etsy.com Felted Plant Cozy $36

www.niceLena.com BFF-Origami Earrings

$14

www.reaashlie.com The Rose Ring

www.redbootsdesign.com RoadBike Hoodie $52

www.reddressshoppe.com Sweet Tea Shirt $29

www.rotorcaps.com PBR Earrings

www.rubypearl.etsy.com Rubypearl Clothing $325

$18

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION EMAIL ADS@BUST.COM OR CALL 212.675.1707 X106

productshowcase.indd 109

$29.99

// BUST / 109

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bust PRODUCT SHOWCASE

www.wickedtickles.co.uk Designer Sex Toy

$85

www.practicalstriptease.com Striptease Kit $10

www.sarahapple.com Stuffed Gnome

www.serahadelin.com Krysanthe Earrings

$52

www.shinejewelrydesigns.com Red Coral Earrings $35

www.shopruche.com Heart Locket

$12.99

ShrunkenCatHeads.etsy.com Deco Tile Earrings $16

www.speciesbythethousands.com Cleaver Pendant $16

www.spinswim.etsy.com Far From Kansas

$28

www.sproutstudio.etsy.com Sprout Wheel-Stick $85

www.startini.etsy.com Shell Necklace

$40

www.thebubbleroome.com New Doorknob Soaps $26

www.thecandythief.com Candy Thief Laurel

$40

www.theebasketboo-tique.com Clockwork Keychain $8

www.thesensualvegan.com Hathor Vegan Lube $20

www.thisisblythe.com/shop Blythe Datebook $18

www.traceellements.com The Look Pendant

$34

www.mysunsetroad.com Nomad Earrings

$68

www.twiststyle.com Corsage Necklace

www.vinnyandvernelle.etsy.com Everyday Fancy $45

www.Tramplamps.Etsy.com Tramp Lamps $100

www.uglyart.net Deco Doll

$65

www.wearwithattitude.com The Ziggy $40

www.whattherock.com Guitar Pick Jewelry

www.zazzle.com/kosmiqpandora1 Lilith Devine #109 $59.95

www.pequitobun.com Love.Sweet.Luxe.

$195

www.fabulouslyfierce.com Decadent Desire $50

www.holisticallyheather.etsy.com Brand New Womyn Kit $75

www.preciousmeshes.com Silver Mesh Prism $68

www.rubirocket.com Panda Necklace

www.seltzergoods.com Recycled Notecards $12.95

www.softspoken.etsy.com Fire Beret

www.refinding.com Hot Key Chain

www.dormesticgoddess.com Pin-up Girl Purse $25

$25

$10.50

$18

$68

$5

$20

www.xmittens.etsy.com Xmitten Gloves

$20

110 / BUST // DEC/JAN

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X GAMES [BY DEB AMLEN]

body math index 59. Tabloid twosomes 62. Castaway’s home 63. Section in some porn shops 64. Aquarium buildup 65. Loud TV pitchman Billy __ 66. “___ we forget...”

67. Africa’s Sierra ___

Down 1. Kind of dance?

2. Brewpub offering 3. Phone button below the seven 4. Seat fit for a queen 5. Like Deborah Harry, post-Blondie 6. Fluorescent-bulb filler 7. Hound sound 8. Peak near Taormina 9. Finish, of a sort 10. Purplish-reds 11. Tel ___ 12. Bear or Berra 13. Gone, but not forgotten?

21. Mon Oncle star 22. Falsie for the eye 25. Biblical land of many tongues

Across 1.

Goes on and on

6.

Totes amazing, colloquially

quality,” for short 20. “The body image messages girls get from the media are the ___...”

26. Baghdad resident 27. Prepared to take notice?

28. Arctic chunks

10. Ex-SNL player Rudolph

23. Indian bread

29. Old Testament book: Abbr.

14. Even if, poetically

24. Connected workstations, for short

30. Pointless

15. Portnoy’s Complaint scribe

25. Split, in a way

31. Goad

16. Declare openly

28. Adam Yauch, Mike D., and Adam

32. Clothes lines?

17. Janis Joplin, to her fans

Horowitz, for short

35. Motel employee

18. The Pixies’ “Monkey __ to Heaven”

33. A Knute successor

37. Badgers

19. “Data quality determines result

34. “... but ___, and BUST wants girls to

41. Monocle, basically

love themselves the way they are...”

42. Far from moderate

36. Rubber ducky’s venue

43. Like Sleater-Kinney

38. Public hanging?

44. Old timer

39. It’s a long story

48. Bug on the road?

40. “We support ___ for women of all

50. Get the lead out, in a way

body types...”

52. BUST Associate Editor Butterworth

46. “Hears” kissers?

53. ABC-TV’s __ Betty

47. Painter of plus-size pretties

54. Ayun Halliday’s The East Village

49. “Little word” in charades

Inky genre

50. Kind of wave

55. Flight data, briefly

51. “...so let’s make body acceptance the

56. Big name in building blocks

norm and cheer on our sister, the __!”

ANSWERS TO “UNDIE ROCK” FROM THE OCT/NOV ‘08 ISSUE. FOR ANSWERS TO THIS ISSUE’S PUZZLE, SEE NEXT ISSUE OF BUST.

51. Schoolmarmish

45. __ de plume

57. Fixes, like MacGyver 58. Commend, as for bravery

60. Effigy burned at annual Black Rock Festival 61. “Understand?” // BUST / 111

111-112.xword.indd 111

10/24/08 1:32:22 PM

thelast the lastlaugh laugh {BY ESTHER PEARL WATSON}

112 / BUST // DEC/JAN

111-112.xword.indd 112

10/24/08 1:32:48 PM

BC.54.indd 2

10/27/08 1:02:18 PM

A

boobtique

A

A portion of all proceeds are donated to the fight against breast cancer.

www.bust.com IBC_boobtique.indd 1

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