Badgers
chapter 14 - THE BEAT GOES ON THE BADGERS HAVE BEGUN AN ASSAULT ON FUN THIS FALL. THE TEAM HAS REASSEMBLED AFTER THE GRADUATION OF MANDY AND JAN - TWO DG COEDS WHO BEGAN THIS ECLECTIC HANGOUT GROUP OF GUYS AND COEDS. THE KK HAS CLEANED UP AND NOW THE OLD HANGOUT IS BACK. BADGERS STILL HANG AT STATE STREET BRATS AND HITS ALL THE TRENDY FOOD PLACES NEAR THE CAMPUS. THE PLAYERS THIS YEAR ARE EMMA, DG AND PRESIDENT OF THE PANHELLENIC COUNCIL, RILEY - SIG EP WHO IS WRITING FOR CRITICAL BADGER - IS ON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP ROWING TEAM AND THE 7TH MAN ON BO’S HOOP TEAM, AND BUCKY - THE REAL BUCKY BADGER - A SENIOR WHO PREVIOUSLY RECEIVED A NEGATIVE ON A PROPOSAL TO JAN. JOINING THEM ARE TIM AND TOM WEAVER - FRESHMAN FOOTBALL SUPERSTAR IDENTICAL TWINS - THETA CHI GUYS WHO LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA, ARE IN PREMED WITH MOLECULAR GENETICS AND BIOCHEMISTRY MAJORS RESPECTIVELY. THE FALL BALL IS SUDDENLY UPON EVERYONE. THIS YEAR IT IS IN ELKHART LAKE AT OSTHOFFS - A GREAT GERMAN RESORT WITH SUPERB FACILITIES, AMBIANCE, AND WISCONSIN FOOD. EVERYONE IS ATTENDING AND BADGERS HAS A MAIN ROLE IN THE PLANNING. SCHOOL IS TOUGH, THE WEATHER IS GETTING COLDER AND THE FOOTBALL TEAM HAS STRUGGLED A BIT. DESPITE HER BUSY SCHEDULE EMMA STARTS FOR THE BADGERS NATIONALLY RANKED VOLLEYBALL TEAM. FOLLOW ALONG AS WE’RE WELL ON OUR WAY TO A GREAT YEAR - IF STUDIES DON’T GET TOO MUCH IN THE WAY.
EXT. OUTSIDE LATE FALL DAY NEAR TOP OF BASCOM HILL UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN - LATE AFTERNOON. FADE IN: EMMA I DON’T KNOW HOW I’LL FINISH THIS COURSE - IT OCCUPIES 90% OF MY TIME. I CANNOT WRITE ANY MORE PAPERS FOR THIS PROFESSOR. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN AN EASIER TRACK. RILEY SWITCH MAJORS. GOBS OF STUDENTS CHANGE. NO BIG DEAL.
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EMMA BUT I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO FINISH MY ACCOUNTING, CPA STUDIES AND ATTEND GRAD SCHOOL. IT’S JUST THIS HISTORY AND LITERATURE REQUIREMENT IS MADDENING. IT’S LIKE THE PROFS KNOW I’M NOT INTENDING TO BE A TOLSTOY, SO THEY DUMP ON MORE WORK AND RAM THESE NOVEL CRITIQUES DOWN MY THROAT. RILEY DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE? EMMA NO - YOU’RE MY BUDDY BADGER. I CAN’T FUNCTION WITHOUT YOU. IT’S EITHER YOU OR HAVE A LEINEI’S TO COPE. RILEY WELL I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. MY LOAD IS TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT THIS SEMESTER ALSO - WITH ESSENTIALLY GRAD TYPE WORK ON POLITICAL THEORY, IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF WRITING, AND UNDERSTANDING THE NUANCES OF CONTRASTING AMERICAN POLITICAL THOUGHT. EMMA IT’S PRETTY COOL SITTING UP HERE ON BASCOM HILL STUDYING. RILEY SHOULDN’T WE BE AT WHITE LIBRARY LOCKED IN A CUBICLE? EMMA NO . . . I ALWAYS SIT NEAR LAKE MENDOTA AND STARE AT THE SAIL BOATS - AND IT BRINGS ME BACK TO REDWING, MINNESOTA - OVERLOOKING THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER. THUS I ESSENTIALLY NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE. RILEY OK, BUT’S IT’S LIKE GETTING TO BE IN THE 30S AND NEARLY DARK. EMMA WELL JUST SNUGGLE IN. YOU KNOW RILEY - HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE TO BE MARRIED? RILEY KINDA NO - I MEAN NO SOPH EVER REALLY THINKS ABOUT THAT. IT’S UNREALISTIC - AND BESIDES MY PARENTS IN 3
BROOKFIELD WOULD PUT UP A STORM WITH ME GETTING MARRIED BEFORE THE DEGREE. EMMA WELL GEE - SO MUCH FOR INDEPENDENT THOUGHT. WHAT HAPPENS THEN WHEN YOU GRADUATE - IS IT THEN TOO EARLY TO MARRY - DO YOU HAVE TO FINISH GRAD SCHOOL? AND THEN IF THAT IS YES, THEN WHAT ABOUT YOU AS A SCRIBE IN DC OR AT THE STATE CAPITOL BUILDING? AND THEN DO YOU WAIT FOR YOUR FIRST RUN TO THE STATE SENATE? RILEY - YOU’LL HAVE GRAY HAIR AND YOUR PARENTS WILL HAVE ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE BEFORE YOU CAN MAKE A DECISION ON YOUR OWN. RILEY EMMA, WHAT IS THIS GETTING AT? THIS IS WAY DEEP STUFF. I’M IN COLLEGE STUDYING POLITICAL SCIENCE - YES I MAY ATTEND LAW SCHOOL OUT EAST - I DON’T KNOW. BUT MARRIAGE IS WAY OUT OF THE QUESTION. I CAN’T EVEN AFFORD A NEW PAIR OF SHOES AND I’M NOW ON SCHOLARSHIP - BEING THE 7TH GUY ON THE HOOP TEAM ROTATION. EMMA OK - I GET IT. YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT AS A GIRL I’M MORE ADVANCED IN THOUGHT AND MATURITY THAN A GUY, THINKING AHEAD, AND I DON’T WANT TO BE AN OLD MAID. RILEY YOU WON’T BE AN OLD MAID. EMMA HMMM. LOOK AT JAN AND MANDY - BOTH REAL BEAUTY QUEENS AND ZERO. JAN GOT DUMPED BY BUCKY AND MANDY SAID NO TO THE HOCKEY GUY WHO WENT TO ST. PETERSBURG TO PLAY PRO ICE HOCKEY. RILEY THEY BOTH SCREWED UP. THAT’S ALL. DO YOU EXPECT THE HOCKEY PLAYER TO FOLLOW JAN TO PARKLAND HOSPITAL AND HER NURSING JOB . . . AND BUCKY TO GO TO CHICAGO WATCHING JAN COMPLETE HER COACHING INTERNSHIP. THESE GUYS PROPOSED, BOTH GALS SAID NO, AND WERE PROPERLY DUMPED. IT HAS TO GO ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. EMMA THAT IS HOW I SEE US RILEY. YES WE’VE ONLY GONE TOGETHER 6 MONTHS, BUT I THINK IT NEEDS TO BECOME 4
A LOCK, OR WE JUST PART AND BECOME LIKE ALL THE OTHER GREEKS. RILEY SO YOU WANT A PROPOSAL FROM A SOPHOMORE? EMMA I DIDN’T SAY OR IMPLY THAT. I JUST MEANT THAT I WANTED SOME REASSURANCE OF A FUTURE PROPOSAL. RILEY OK WE’RE GOING STEADY LIKE OUR GRANDPARENTS DID. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? EMMA THAT’S ALL I’M ASKING - NOTHING MORE. AND BESIDES I CAN DEAL WITH 5 KIDS, BEING A POLITICIAN’S WIFE, AND FUND RAISERS. I’M OK WITH ALL THE GARBAGE THAT IS BUILT INTO THE POSITION. RILEY INTERESTING THE POLY SCI PROFS CONTINUALLY TALK ABOUT FORMER SENATOR PROXMIRE - WHO SPENT 1 CENT PER ELECTION. HE WALKED DOOR TO DOOR, ATE WITH CONSTITUENTS AND WAS A GREAT SENATOR. HE PRESENTED THESE “GOLDEN FLEECE” AWARDS FOR WASTEFUL DC SPENDING UNTIL HE WAS NAILED WITH A DEFAMATION SUIT. EMMA I’LL TAKE THE BANQUETS, SPEECHES AND RED WINE. I DON’T WANT TO PEDDLE INTO SOMEONE’S HOME LIKE PROXMIRE. IT’S DIFFERENT TODAY. NOW YOU CAN TWEET! RILEY WELL - LET’S SAY I DEVELOPED A RETRO OR OLD FASHIONED MEANS OF CAMPAIGNING - LIKE PROXMIRE - WHO WENT HOUSE TO HOUSE ON BIKE OR ON FOOT. COULD YOU HANDLE THAT? YES.
EMMA
RILEY WOW, LOOK AT THE PARADE COMING UP BASCOM. OH IT’S A BIG PEP RALLY FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM. BUCKY IS LEADING THE WAY. EMMA OH THIS WILL GO ON FOREVER - AND I BET TOM AND TIM WILL BE HERE ALSO. THE PLAYERS ARE SUPPOSED TO 5
SHOW UP FOR SPEECHES. AND IF THESE TWO GUYS COME - THERE WILL BE A TON OF GIRLS HERE. I KNOW THAT. WHY IS THAT?
RILEY
EMMA WELL BOTH TWINS HAVE THE LOOKS, THE ATHLETIC SKILLS, WILL BE ORTHOPEDIC SURGEONS IN A MILWAUKEE SUBURB - THEY ARE THE WHOLE PACKAGE. RILEY YOU CAN’T TELL THEM APART - SO HOW DO YOU CHOOSE? EMMA TOM STILL HAS A LIMP FROM THE TACKLE A COUPLE GAMES AGO AGAINST THE GOPHERS. RILEY ISN’T THAT WHERE HE MET SHELLY, THE CHEERLEADER YOU KNOW - THE BRUNETTE GAL FROM LACROSSE? EMMA OH SHE IS A FROSH CHEERLEADER ALSO - A KKK. I HEARD SHE WAS A REAL BITCH, AND NO, SHE ISN’T BECOMING A BADGER. RILEY WELL TOM SAYS SHE WANTS TO HANG WITH US - AND WILL BE AT THE KK TONIGHT AFTER HER ENGINEERING STUDIES ARE OVER! EMMA LOOK RILEY, I’LL DO WHAT I NEED TO MAINTAIN OUR RELATIONSHIP - AND IF IT’S HANGING OUT WITH THAT BITCH SHELLY - WHO SITS AT THE FRONT OF WHITE LIBRARY AND STARES EVERYONE DOWN LIKE IT’S HER PLACE - THEN THAT’S WHAT I’LL DO. RILEY WELL MAYBE SHE’S A BITCH IN A GOOD SORT OF WAY. IT’S LIKE THERE ARE GOOD AND BAD WITCHES. SHE MAY NOT BE FROM THE EAST. EMMA OK I’LL GIVE HER A CHANCE. SHE’S IN UNTIL SHE IMPLODES. DOES TOM KNOW WHAT HE’S GETTING INTO. YOU KNOW SHELLY DUMPED HER HIGH SCHOOL SWEET HEART RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AT THE FROSH PICNIC! 6
RILEY SHE’LL BE OK. PROMISE. I’VE MET HER. AND?
EMMA
RILEY THAT’S IT. SHE REMINDS ME OF THE OLD MOVIE STAR, GLEN CLOSE, WITH MICHAEL DOUGLAS IN FATAL ATTRACTION. SHE WON’T STOP AT ANYTHING - INCLUDING SHE’LL KILL TO HAVE THE MAN SHE WANTS. SHE’S DANGEROUS. EMMA I AGREE. STAY AWAY FROM HER. BUT MAYBE SHE’LL BALANCE OUR DISNEY TYPE BADGER GROUP OUT NICELY. MY IPHONE IS ROARING. OH HERE COMES TIM, TOM, AND BUCKY.......AND ABOUT A THOUSAND GALS - MOSTLY FROM GREEK RHO. RILEY AND YOU GUESSED IT - SHELLY IS LEADING EVEN BUCKY UP THE HILL FOR THE PEP RALLY. EMMA SHE’LL NEVER BE SECOND AT ANYTHING. I’M OFF TO WHITE TO STUDY . . . AND SO ARE YOU MR. RILEY. I SAID WE’D MEET UP AT 11 AT THE KK. SHELLY IS ALSO COMING. TIM HAS SOME ASIAN GAL CHASING HIM, AND HE WANTS DISCUSSION ON HOW TO GET RID OF HER. THAT’S OUR TWEET TALK TONIGHT. FADE OUT:
INT. EVENING AT THE KK (COLLEGE CLUB) OFF STATE STREET AND ON GREEK RHO - THURSDAY EVENING - THE BADGERS ARE A GROUP IN THE CORNER OF THE KK. MUSIC IS LOUD, LOTS OF BEER FLOWING, AND THIS IS EASILY THE MOST SOCIAL PLACE ON THURSDAYS. THIS PLACE IS CRAZY.
EMMA
TOM IT’S OSU. THAT’S WHY. THE STUDENT BODY IS REALLY TRYING TO MOTIVATE THE PLAYERS. THE COACHES ARE REALLY COACHING THIS WEEK AND ARE VERY COOL. EMMA WHAT ABOUT YOUR ANKLE? 7
SHELLY OH HE’S PLAYING. IT’S A SMALL LATERAL SPRAIN. EMMA YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE STILL LIMPING. IN FACT THE DG GALS SAY IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO TELL TIM AND TOM APART - TOM LIMPS. SHELLY AND HE’S IN THE BIOCHEMISTRY PROGRAM - NOT THE MOLECULAR GENETICS LIKE TIM. EMMA DID YOU READ THE ARTICLE SAYING YOU BOTH WANTED TO BE ORTHO GUYS IN A MILWAUKEE SUBURB IF YOU DON’T MAKE THE NFL? TIM YES - WHO WROTE THAT? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? RILEY I WROTE IT IN CRITICAL BADGER - WHICH HAS BEEN REVIVED. TOM YOU WROTE THAT RILEY? WHERE DID YOU GET THE INFO? RILEY IT WAS ON FACEBOOK. REMEMBER DISCUSSING THAT WITH AN OLD FLAME? SHELLY WHO WAS THAT TOM? I NEVER HEARD ABOUT THIS? TOM SHELL - WE’VE ONLY GONE TOGETHER FOR TWO WEEKS IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE ENGAGED. I’M STILL FINDING STUFF ABOUT YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA ALSO. SHELLY SO WE’RE NOT BEING HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER? EMMA SAY - WE’RE THE BADGERS - WE DON’T ARGUE - WE HANG, COMMUNICATE, PROBLEM SOLVE, AND NOT BECOME THE PROBLEM. TIM SHELL - IS IT OK IF I CALL YOU THAT FOR SHORT LIKE TOM? 8
IT’S COOL.
SHELLY
TIM OK SHELL - YOU AREN’T REALLY GOING WITH SOMEONE IF YOU GO OUT FOR TWO WEEKS. THIS ISN’T ASSIGNED MATES LIKE SYRIAN COUPLES RECEIVE. SHELLY SO HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO CALL IT “GOING TOGETHER”? EXACTLY 6 MONTHS.
RILEY
TIM SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND EMMA GONE OUT TOGETHER? 6 MONTHS!
RILEY
EMMA YES AND NOW I’M GOING STEADY LIKE GRANDMA, RINGED LIKE MY MOM WAS, AND NOW IT QUALIFIES AS A TWEET THAT WE ARE AN ENTITY. EVERYONE DEAL. TIM SO SHELL - BEFORE YOU ARE AN ENTITY WITH MY IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER - YOU HAVE 5.5 MONTHS TO GO. SHELLY OK THAT’S COOL. THAT MEANS I’M ALSO ON THE MARKET. EMMA AND CHEERLEADERS AT THE UW GET A TON MORE ATTENTION THAN VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS. SHELLY THEY GO FARTHER ALSO. I MEAN LIFE HAPPINESS, MARRIAGE, KIDS, AND JOB SUCCESS RATES ARE HIGHER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. THAT IS IN THE SOCIOLOGY TEXTS. THUS IF I’M STILL AVAILABLE, I’LL STILL DO OK STATISTICALLY. RILEY SO TOM - YOU HAD BETTER RING SHELL - OR RISK LOSING HER.
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TOM RIGHT NOW I’M JUST WORRIED ABOUT MY POST ROUTES. I DON’T THINK I’LL BE IN THERE ON SPECIAL TEAMS OR DEFENSE. TIM WILL PLAY RETURN GUY AND SAFETY AND BACK ME UP IF MY HEAVILY TAPED ANKLE WHICH IS HEALING GETS PAINFUL OR SWOLLEN. EMMA SHELL WILL BE RIGHT THERE TO RUB IT IF IT GETS PAINFUL. SHELLY YES - I’LL BE RIGHT THERE PRE AND POST GAME. EVEN THOUGH I’LL BE EXHAUSTED FROM THE JUMP, BUILD ME UP BUTTERCUP, AND ADVANCED CALCULUS, I’LL STILL BE THERE - WITH OR WITHOUT A RING, COMMITMENT OR A LOVE TWEET. EMMA AND I WILL REMAIN FAITHFUL THE ENTIRE COLLEGE CAREER. WHAT GREAT COEDS WE ARE? EMMA YOU’RE OK SHELL. I THINK YOU’LL FIT RIGHT IN WITH THE BADGERS. RILEY WOW - LOOK AT THE NEXT TABLE DOWN THE WAY. IT REALLY IS HOMECOMING. THERE IS JAN, MANDY, AND BUCKY SITTING NEXT TO MANDY. WHAT IS GOING ON? EMMA HEY SLIDE OVER- WE’RE ALL COMING IN. HOW’S IT GOING? BUCKY I RAN INTO SOME STRANGERS, AND YES, THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE SOME FRESH ORIGINAL LEINEIS. SHELLY HI I’M SHELLY - SHELL FOR SHORT. I’M THE NEWEST BADGER. I’VE KNOWN TOM FOR 2 WEEKS AND WE’RE REALLY NOT GOING TOGETHER - THAT TAKES 6 SOLID MONTHS. JAN HEY I’M JAN, AND THIS IS MANDY. AND ALEX IS COMING. HE WAS CRITICALLY INJURED AT BOOT CAMP AND NOW IS ON A DEFERMENT. HE GOT INTO DENTAL SCHOOL AT MARQUETTE FINALLY. HE’S LIVING IN MADISON AND COACHING FOOTBALL AT VERONA WHILE RECOUPING. TIM SO IS EVERYONE GOING TO OSTHOFF’S IN ELKHART LAKE NEXT WEEK FOR FALL BALL? 10
IN UNISON “HELL YES”.
EMMA
MANDY AS YOU WELL KNOW THE DG HOUSE LEADS IN THE THREE MAIN EVENTS OF THE GREEK YEAR - FALL BALL, WINTER BASH AND SPRING FLING. JAN MY FOUR YEARS I WENT EVERY TIME - EVEN GETTING LAST MINUTE DATES IF NEEDED. IT WAS ALWAYS FUN - A REAL BLAST FROM THE PAST. IT WAS DRESSES, DANCES, GREAT FOOD, SOCIALIZING AND MEETING A TON OF GREAT NEW PEOPLE. SHELLY HI, YOU MUST BE ALEX. I’M THE NEW BADGER. I’VE KNOWN TOM FOR 2 WEEKS SO WE’RE NOT REALLY GOING STEADY - IT TAKES 6 MONTHS. ALEX WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I’M NOW A GRAD STUDENT - INTERIM HIGH SCHOOL COACH. BUCKY THAT MEANS SHELL IS STILL AVAILABLE ALEX. JAN HOW ARE YOU DOING ALEX? IS IT ROUGH? ALEX YES THE REHAB IS AWFUL - BUT I NEED MY HANDS TO PRACTICE DENTISTRY AFTER THE IED GAVE ME NERVE SHOCK. BUCKY THIS ALL HAPPENED IN TRAINING? JAN FIRST MONTH. I WENT AND VISITED - AS DID MANDY. YOU HAVE COME ALONG WAY. EMMA AND I FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF WITH GOBS OF BUSINESS AND ACCOUNTING. HOW CAN I HELP YOU ALEX? YOU WERE AN ORIGINAL BADGER MANDY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. GO TO VERONA’S FOOTBALL GAMES. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE SOMEONE WHO IS NOW A WOUNDED WARRIOR GET BETTER. 11
RILEY I DON’T FEEL WE DO ENOUGH IN THIS COUNTRY. WE WORRY ABOUT THE UTILITIES IN BAGHDAD - YET THERE ARE 1.3 MILLION IN THE BRONX, 3.5 MILLION IN BROOKLYN, AND GOBS EVERYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT FOOD, HOUSING, JOBS AND WORRY THEY CAN’T MAKE RENT WITH KIDS. THAT IS A REAL NIGHTMARE FOR FOLKS - YET WE WORRY ABOUT MINUTE BS SUCH AS CONTRACEPTION, A FEW DEAD MICE FROM A NUCLEAR PLANT AND BURNING COAL WHICH EMITS CO2 – WHICH PLANTS DEVOUR IN SECONDS. BUCKY YOU’RE RIGHT ON RILEY. I’M VOTING FOR YOU AND FOLLOWING YOU WHEREVER YOU RUN. TAKE CARE OF PROBLEMS - DON’T CREATE THEM. AND ALEX - I’LL BE OVER WHENEVER YOU NEED ANYTHING - WHETHER HERE OR IN MILWAUKEE. YOU ARE A VET OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE. ALEX THANK YOU. I NOW CAN DRINK THAT NEW RUSSIAN IMPERIAL STOUT FROM CHIPPEWA FALLS - DIRECT FROM THE LEINIES FACTORY. TIM I’D HAVE ONE ALSO - BUT I’M UNDERAGE AND OUR COACHES WILL KILL US IF THEY KNEW WE HAD EVEN A SIP. BESIDES I HAVE THIS ASIAN GAL WHO WON’T - FOR LACK OF A BETTER TERM - QUIT STALKING ME. TOM I HAVE A RESERVE IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM TIM – JUST FOR DISCUSSION IN HOW TO HANDLE THE ASIAN GAL. IF WE CAN’T DO IT WE’LL HAVE A DG STEP IN! IT’S OK SHELL. CHILL! JAN SO RILEY YOU DON’T THINK THE CONTRACEPTION AND SANDRA FLUKE SPEECH WAS REAL. IT’S NOT LIKE GUYS EVEN KNOW WHERE TO ACQUIRE CONDOMS - THEY WERE SMARTER IN THE 50S. WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE GIRL? RILEY THE FACT IS FLUKE MADE A FEW GOOD POINTS, BUT THE REALITY IS YOU CAN PURCHASE ONE MONTH OF BIRTH CONTROL PILLS AT WALL MART FOR $4. THERE ARE FREE CLINICS FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. AGAIN THIS ISN’T A PROBLEM. COUPLES WHETHER MARRIED OR NOT NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS STUFF PRIVATELY.
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MANDY I GUESS JAN AND I AS OLD MAIDS DON’T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT CONTRACEPTION - WE’RE OLD MAIDS - OLD ALUMNI BADGERS. NOW WE WILL LOOK FORWARD TO AT LEAST NOT HAVING A PESSARY. TIM I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS? TOM IT HOLDS GRAMDMA’S INSIDES IN - NOWADAYS THEY USE VAGINAL SLINGS - YOU KNOW THE TYPE EVERYONE SUES OVER ON TV. JAN SO BUCKY - IS IT TRUE AFTER YOUR 4 YEAR REIGN AS LEADING MASCOT, YOU’RE ATTENDING YALE LAW SCHOOL? ADMIT IT YOU HUMBLE LOYAL MASCOT. EMMA HE IS - HE’S THE GREATEST! THERE WILL BE NEVER BE ANOTHER MASCOT LIKE THIS BUCKY! SHELLY AND YOU’RE GOING BY YOURSELF? BUCKY NO I’M GOING WITH SOMEONE. TIM WHO IS THAT? WE DIDN’T KNOW. YOU’RE NOT . . . . ALEX TIM, GET REAL! THIS IS PRIVATE STUFF. TOM I THOUGHT THE BADGERS WERE REALLY OPEN. EMMA TIM, WE’RE MARCHING DOWN TO ELIZABETH WATERS - GETTING YOU A DATE FOR THE FALL BALL AND THEN YOU’LL CHILL. YOU NEED A CUTE UNTAINTED FROSH. I ALREADY PURCHASED YOUR TICKETS TO OSTHOFFS RESORT. EVERYONE AGREED. SO WHO IS GOING WITH YOU TO YALE LAW SCHOOL? YOU KNOW THAT SCHOOL SOUNDS LIKE A REAL BEAR. JAN OH MY GOD - I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT. I’M CRYING.
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BUCKY THE PERSON GOING TO NEW HAVEN WITH ME IS RIGHT HERE. I’VE FAILED TWICE IN ASKING HER HAND IN MARRIAGE, BUT I’M NOT DONE. MANDY, I TRULY LOVE YOU. WILL YOU MARRY ME? . . . YES
MANDY
END - BADGERS XIV
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