Capilano Courier Vol. 45 Issue 13 by Capilano Courier

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pushing buttons since 1968â&#x20AC;?

Volume 45

N O R T H V A N C O U V E R / / J anuar y 9 , 2 0 1 2

The end of the world with Alternative education // be stress free // Student franchises // and so much more ...

Issue N o. 13

TABle of contents Vol. Fourty-Five | Issue 13

Pushing buttons since 1968

N ews 4

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TUESDAYS at NOON in MAPLE 122 Caveat lector

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism, or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Publishing Society.

Sta f f

The Capilano Courier is brought to you by the following people ... editor-in-chief

editor-in-chief

Samantha Thompson

Sarah Vitet

Now Hiring! production mngr.

a rt d i r e c t o r

Shannon Elliott

JJ Brewis

f e at u r e s e d i t o r

news editor

Gurpreet Kambo

This could be you a rt s e d i t o r

opinions editor

Claire Vulliamy

Marco Ferreira

humor

fiction editor

copy editor

Celina Kurz

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events mngr.

Jonty Davies

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Ricky Bao

Natahsha Prakash

C olumns 12 O pinions 14 C a boose 15

the cove

Shannon Elliott Shannon Elliott is excited for the coming apocalypse, and she hopes that aliens will be involved in some way. Her only regret is that she'll never get to find out how A Game of Thrones ends.

{ WORLD* } This

WEEK in the

Sensationalist news headlines from around the world edition

Malaysian opposition leader acquitted in sodomy trial

Australian survives bungee jump horror

China leads the coddling of North Korea's boy king

Philippine Catholics march despite warning of possible terrorist attack

from the editor //

Happily ever after

pilogues irritate me. Unfortunately, it seems that many of the best authors find it necessary to include an epilogue at the conclusion of what was otherwise a fantastic book. In Harry Potter for example, the epilogue reads as forced, as though J.K. Rowling was tying off any loose ends so that no one could continue the lives of her characters unless she decided to. The Hunger Games trilogy also included a few pages of epilogue, once again shutting down any hopes you may have had that things turned out differently. There are several reasons why I don’t like epilogues. The first, and perhaps most obvious, is that they cut off any opportunities to imagine what could happen to the characters after the book is over. The author takes advantage of their power and skips ahead five or ten years to tell you exactly how things turned out, ruining the arch of the novel and any hope that your fanfiction imaginings might ever come true. Spoiler alert! No, Harry did not end up in a surprising relationship with Ron Weasley. Epilogues take the fun out of finishing a book, because it means you are no longer are able to daydream about what happens in the characters’ lives once you’ve closed the pages that encase them. Epilogues, as irritating as they are, also provide a sense of relief for the reader. You get to know what is going to happen, you know that the characters are not going to stray from the path laid out in front of them, and you know that evil is going to stay at bay. This is where things start to get really important: it seems as though we ourselves are trying to write our own epilogues, while still stuck in the present. In school we are taught to create life maps, five-year and ten-year plans. We are taught that although our lives may stray from our plans occasionally, it is still important to return to our plan, because it comprises our goals and you have to attain goals in order to be successful, and you have to be successful in order to be happy, right? “You’ve made it to this university,” they’ll say, “but where are you going next? What degree will you end up with? What life experience will you get along the way?” Regardless of how long you’ve been a student, or a human being for that matter, these questions don’t get any easier. Eventually the questions stray from what you’re going to study in school to what job you’re going to have, and finally, when you’re planning on retiring.

— Samantha Thompson // editor-in-chief

The Voicebox

with JJ Brewis Look for the Voicebox on Tuesday afternoons in the Birch cafeteria, to anonymously “voice” your “opinion” on any “topic.” Introverted alternatives include emailing your opinion to voicebox@capilanocourier.com, or texting (778) 886-5070. “Are you guys coming over for spare tomorrow morning?”

Footballer-turned-gangster arrested in Mexico

In fact, it seems the only question that we aren’t asked is when we’re planning to die. Here’s the funny thing about life: it’s unpredictable. You know this, and yet I would be surprised if you didn’t have a subconscious idea of where you would like to be in ten years. Certainly, goals are great, but if we’re so stuck to the idea of completing our goals, if we begin to panic and hyperventilate about the idea of “failing” to meet our goals, then we have a problem. If we all walk around focused on where we want to be in ten years, we’re going to miss what is happening right now in front of us. We’re going to miss out on opportunities to do things just because they make us happy, not because our parents want us to do it, not because it’ll look good on a resume, but simply for the sake of happiness. I bring this up now because although we are occasionally reminded of this, the pressure of creating a New Year’s resolution, of using the month of January to better ourselves in the name of the Life Plan, is significant. The sooner we realize that we are not omnipotent authors of our own lives, the better off we will be. We have the ability to make decisions, to choose who we want to be, but we do not have the power to jump ahead ten years and decide what our lives are going to be like and tie off any loose ends. When it becomes apparent that epilogues will forever remain in books, and we stop trying to write our epilogue before we’ve reached the time when an epilogue would be appropriate, the happier we will be living our own lives, working on our own character development. The End.

True story: when I was in grade 12 (roughly in the late 1800s), my best friend Chrissy lived about five minutes away from school. I tended to associate with a group of bad-ass girls. As a goody-goody gay (straight A’s, no smoking cigarettes or weed, no swearing LOL), I tended to live vicariously through their trash can fires and thrift store shoplifting. The one area where I let loose and rebelled was in skipping classes. Now I don’t condone this as a regular activity, but I am a firm believer in personal days. Mental health is so underrated these days. At any rate, I was so bad ass that I would line up my spare and skip lunch so that my rich friend Chrissy would get her mom to make us a fancy rich people lunch. Imagine making the choice: Chemistry 12 or Yorkshire Pudding? Yeah, you do the math.

fucking disastrous pool of flesh. Wait until, right before your very eyes, I transform into a Canadian Donovan Bailey. “Let’s crank up some Norah Jones and get this over with.” The idea of getting laid to the sound of Norah Jones is surprisingly horrifying. I’m actually legitimately concerned I would fall asleep right before I finished. That sounds not only embarrassing, but somewhat painful. On a related side note, did you ever notice how many times Miss Jones references climaxing in her songs? Her debut album is called Come (Away With Me). “In regard to Will Smith: Just look for Fresh Prints.” A couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighbourhood.

“How do you find Will Smith in the snow?” No Pants subway ride: Cheeky riders earn cheers

I really don’t like where this is going. “Gym tomorrow morning? Or are ya comin’ over?” How are these two things even alternates? Wait, you totally have one of those Bowflex things in your house don’t you. Actually, my bedroom is about to be transformed into a home personal gym itself! Today for just eight dollars, my physiotherapist sold me one of those stretchy green coloured bands in which I can do butterfly presses, bifocal arm pulls, effervescent shoulder crunches, and the others. Hopefully it’s not a Stretch Armstrong situation where only my arms bulk up and the rest of me is a

* According to Sarah

0 7 0 5 . 6 778.88

Text

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EDIT OR // Gurpreet Kambo // ne w s @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

IMPEACHING, EDUCATION FUNDING, AND A SKUNK, TO BOOT Yes, stuff happened even though you were on vacation By Samantha Thompson

STATSCAN AVAILABLE FOR ALL

// editor-in-chief, with files from the Canadian University Press

hile many students may have spent the last several weeks pretending the world didn’t exist, the fascinating stories that occur around us continued on. Covering everything from student politics to animal tales, the winter months did not slow down just because we did. CAPILANO UNIVERSITY TO GET FUNDING FOR SKILLS TRAINING In December, it was announced by the Minister of Advanced Education Naomi Yamamoto that Capilano would receive additional funding for its tuition-free full-time Employment Skills Access programs. The programs focus on preparing students for “entry-level employment in industries, sectors, or occupations that are currently experiencing or are projected to experience labour or skills shortages,” stated the press release. Capilano has numerous ESA programs, including Business and Culture for Foreign-Trained Professionals, Introduction to Trades, and Retail and Hospitality Customer Service program. In many of the programs, participants are granted certification. The participants must be unemployed, and have not claimed EI in the past three years. The ESA initiative is funded through the CanadaBritish Columbia Labour Market Agreement.

In November, it was announced that Statistics Canada’s data would soon be available to the public, for free. On Feb. 1, the data will be fully available, and the public can use the data for whatever means they choose. In a press release, StatsCan stated, “Licensing restrictions for the use of Statistics Canada data products will be removed.” According to Peter Frayne, the data will be released under an open-license agreement, which will have very few restrictions regarding how users may utilize the data – so long as they represent the data accurately. Although the potential for the data to be used negatively is present, it will also provide nonprofit organizations and small businesses with valuable data that they could not afford access to otherwise. TWELVE KWANTLEN EXECUTIVES IMPEACHED After a lengthy battle between some vocal members and the elected representatives, the Kwantlen Students’ Association saw significant changes to its organization. Students gathered on Nov. 30 for a special general meeting, and unanimously voted to impeach 12 board members. Several board members had been accused of being in a conflict of interest. It was revealed by The Runner, Kwantlen's student newspaper, that some board members were related to the defendants in a civil lawsuit that the KSA had been

pursuing against elected representatives from years past. The members in question were accused of misusing hundreds of thousands of dollars in student fees to commit mismanagement and breach of fiduciary duty. The lawsuit had been settled between the two parties shortly prior to the general meeting. The meeting was not without its own controversy, however. More than 400 students arrived to vote, and throughout the meeting duration had to deal with pepper spray and multiple fire alarms. Once voting commenced, more than 2 hours after the scheduled time, the assembly unanimously voted in favour of impeaching 12 board members, and a total of 26 people (executives and staff) were placed in bad standing in the organization, which prohibits them from voting or running in future KSA elections. Until the elections are called, five transitional board members, who were appointed at the general meetings, will carry out the business of the organization. THE ADVENTURES OF BUBBLES Bubbles the skunk has become quite the legend around Vancouver. The skunk was first spotted back in August, with a beverage lid wedged around her neck. When she was seen again several months later, it was decided that the community members would come together to rescue the rodent. The skunk was tracked by neighbours over

several weeks and eventually the group had established where the skunk frequented, and set up a live trap in an empty lot to trap the skunk. Even though by this time Bubbles no longer had the plastic lid around her neck, her neck did have many cuts that required healing. She was taken to a shelter and six weeks later was rehabilitated into her neighbourhood. SFSS LEAVES CFS FOR REAL Late in December, it was announced that the Simon Fraser Students’ Society’s membership in the CFS had officially ended. This out of court resolution came after a long journey as the two bodies debated whether or not the SFSS was still a member of the CFS. The SFSS held a referendum on whether or not to continue membership in the CFS, but there was a dispute about the outcome of the referendum. The SFSS, who believed their referendum had resulted in the cessation of membership, ended up filing a lawsuit against the CFS, demanding that they recognize that their membership in the national lobbying organization was no longer in effect. The official press release stated that the decision to arrive at the out of court resolution was “motivated by a desire on the part of all parties to resolve all outstanding issues.” The CFS and the SFSS have agreed to not release any further statements other than what is stated in the short release.

Who says video games can’t be productive?

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

Phylo uses video game format to assist in scientific research

// JJ Brewis By Sarah Deshaies // Cup Quebec bureau chief

ONTREAL (CUP) – Imagine if all the hours you spent moving coloured blocks on Tetris or cultivating wheat on FarmVille actually led to something productive – terminal disease research, perhaps? Two McGill University academics are tapping into the growing appetite for casual video games in order to further research into illnesses like

cancer, Alzheimer’s, and diabetes. Jérôme Waldispuhl and Mathieu Blanchette launched Phylo in November 2010 and, since then, 17,000 registered users have played the game. Collectively, those users have produced information, released last December, which researchers can use to improve knowledge about genetic disorders. Waldispuhl, whose personal gaming preferences involve the empire-building game Civilization, among others, came up with the idea when he would be playing games on his laptop as a break from work every few hours: “I was asking myself, how can I use this energy in these casual games to do something useful?” “Basically, solving a puzzle [in a game] is solving a problem,” the computer scientist explains. “If you can find the equivalence between the problem you’re solving in your puzzle, and another problem, you can re-use the solution to do something.” Phylo is a simple, Tetris-like game where players line up blocks in colours of orange, purple, blue, and green on either their computer or mobile or tablet device. Each block is human DNA, and all the genetic information is sourced from the University of California, Santa Cruz Genome Browser. A line of DNA blocks represents a genetic sequence. Underneath is a sequence from another

species, and the goal is to line up blocks that are the same colour. When this happens, players are forming a genetic sequence alignment; in other words, they’re finding similar genetic regions from different species. “The thing is that the sequence by itself doesn’t tell us a lot. What we need to understand from this genome – this DNA that we are sequencing – is to compare the DNA from a lot of different species in order to reveal a similarity between the different DNAs,” said Waldispuhl. As Phylo’s website explains, alignments help scientists trace the evolution of some genetic diseases. Each sequence in the game is thought to be linked to a genetic disorder. “The goal of Phylo is to produce the data to make the comparisons of DNA easier,” explained Waldispuhl. Once you complete an alignment, it’s stored and fed back to the “global alignment.” Meanwhile, you’ll get a message on your screen that goes something like this: “We appreciate your contribution to science: Congratulations! You've completed the final stage, and we just submitted your alignment for this session. You played level 902. The DNA in this puzzle has been linked to: FAMILIAL ARRHYTHMOGENIC RIGHT VENTRICULAR DYSPLASIA.” Since the game launched, players have produced over 350,000 different alignment solutions over about 500,000 games. With each game tak-

ing about one to two minutes to play, Waldispuhl estimates that a beginner can produce a solution in between 10 to 15 minutes. The idea is that humans can do this sort of work better than computers. While the human genome itself is too large for a human to completely decode, a computer cannot be relied upon, either. Even completed algorithms designed to do this kind of work aren’t guaranteed to find all the alignments. GalaxyZoo, he adds, is another example of human computing that is harnessing people power to improve science. Its 250,000 users help sort through a million images of galaxies produced by a robotic telescope. By answering visual questions about an image, users have produced endless classifications that help scientists shape understanding of the cosmos. Most of Phylo’s thousands of players are located in North America, with others in Europe and Brazil. Media coverage has helped spread the word to India and Asia as well. Waldispuhl said that the game is also diversifying into other languages, with recent launches in Spanish and Hebrew, and Russian and Chinese versions on the horizon. But the goal is also to keep a game with a serious objective light-hearted: “We’re still trying to make it even more fun,” says Waldispuhl. “Fun and creative.”

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Global A.P.B. Called on Jolly Red Guy Claus missing after collapse of Arctic Circle By Beni Spieler // Writer

his past holiday season, the ongoing global warming saga appears to have taken its first major victim – the Arctic Circle. In a freak temperature spike, the entire ice-based landmass succumbed to increased water temperatures and became part of the ocean that caused its demise. Though scarcely populated, the world felt the impact of the missing landmass in the form of increased sea levels, fluctuations in climate, and, worst of all, a catastrophic decrease in magical merriment in the final days of last December. Santa Claus, celebrity resident of the Arctic Circle’s unofficial Capital, The North Pole, is still missing after the events of December. Though the black box from his sleigh was recovered, no information as to the whereabouts of the kindly old man could be found. His famous workshop, submerged with the rest of the terrain was found and photographed by submarines and appears to be almost completely intact. Speculation as to how this is possible left emergency crew and other experts around the world scratching their heads. “It has to be magic, there’s no other way,” says Chris Mystery, an architect from Alabama. SIt has been speculated that Claus, believed to be immortal by some, decided to go down with the empire that he had spent an untold number of decades or centuries building, but not necessarily to his death. Holiday’ologist Mary Sugar-Socks says, “If the structures are intact, it’s entirely possible that there are survivors inside. Many have believed for years that he must go into space in order to circumvent the globe so quickly, there’s no reason to believe he couldn’t create a survivable atmosphere so deep in the ocean.” Confirmation of this may be difficult, as current submersible technology cannot handle the

pressures that one might encounter at the depth the workshop has sunk for long enough to attempt a rescue mission. Hope remains strong that Santa has survived the incident, and will return next December unscathed. The disappearance of the North Pole marks an important chapter for Claus, and for the ongoing issue of global warming. Once a desolate camp of stray elves, the Pole found its economy and standard of living rejuvenated by the arrival of European entrepreneur St. Niklaus, who built a toy workshop for a new endeavour – global toy delivery. A pioneer of toy development, St. Nicklaus changed his legal name to Santa Claus as the elves had trouble saying his birth name, and began the daunting task of providing the world’s children with toys that his work force would make and deliver once a year in one night.“Imagine a world in which every single child on the planet is given free toys in the darkest hours of the year: that’s what we’re doing. Some people told me it was impossible to deliver billions of toys in one night; I told them they were wrong,” said Claus in an interview with the Pole Weekly. Surpassing all expectations while bringing smiles to the youth of the world, Claus harnessed never-before-seen magical forces to create jobs for the elven population of the North Pole, and turned his small workshop into a thriving industrial powerhouse. “All my workshops produce zero carbon emissions and follow closely the old Atlantean Climate Standards in order to insure the health of my workers and the environment we share,” Claus explained in the same interview with the Pole. However, controversy eventually found the North Pole in the form of equal rights protesters. Accusations came forward that Claus employed only elves and refused applications from other species, leading some to label him a speciesist. A task force was formed by the League of Nations, predecessor of the UN, to investigate

these accusations, but no proof was found. Claus was found to have a mixing pot of species under his umbrella including reindeer, elves, snowmen, yetis, and a human singer who narrated the lives of various North Pole inhabitants through song. (An extravagant quirk generally taken in good humour by those who knew him). A neutral force through the course of World War I and II, German-born Claus provided presents for children regardless of nationality during that dark period of history. Shortly after the second of the great wars, he caught the ire of certain American politicians during the Mc-

// Jillian Aquino Carthy Era, as assessments of his nation revealed many socialist programs in place, and accusations of communist leanings began to surface. Throughout all of this, public opinion of his operations barely wavered, and allegations were eventually dropped. As one can see, old Claus flourished through the good and bad times, rarely finding himself on the naughty list of the world’s people. The world holds its breath as the combined navies of the world search for Santa Claus, every jingling bell and glass of milk a reminder of what we once took for granted.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

t h e ca p ca l e n dar C e l i na W i th

Kur z !

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m o n day j a n . 9 FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL You probably already knew that, because you’re probably at school right now! You are probably smelling the fresh scent of expensive new books; breathing in the lightly scented air of the registrar’s office; enjoying the magnificent taste of the fine food of Aramark (how I have missed you, Aramark. Nothing compares to you, Aramark). Welcome back, honey-babies!

t u e s day jan 10 TEENAGE LIFESTYLE@THE BILTMORE A (super cheap!) new weekly event at the Biltmore featuring DJs Mo Diddley, Skeletons, and Big Cat spinning garage, punk, psych, post-punk, new-wave, and '60s and '70s rock all night long. Fun fun fun! I love teens. 9 PM. The Biltmore. $2.

w e d n e s day jan. 11

WELCOME BACK FROM THE CSU Since it is the first day of school, the CSU is giving its constituents a welcome back “party”! From 7:45 to 9 AM, they will be giving out breakfast sandwiches by the bus loop, and from 11:30 to 1 they will set up in the lower cafeteria and give you lunch! The Whiskey Dicks will be playing as well. 7:45 – 9 AM, 11:30 AM – 1 PM. Bus Loop/Lower Cafeteria. Free! DRAWFORTH! This monthly “drawing social” is intended to be an evening “for people to gather and work individually, or collaboratively, in a peaceful, fun environment.” They will provide some equipment, but bringing your own pens, pencils, and paper is encouraged. I could continue describing this event, but I don't want to “draw” it out! 8 – 10:45 PM. Little Mountain Gallery. By donation!

THE COURIER GOES TO NASH, BITCHES We’re gonna party like it’s 1999! Suck it! Gonna learn about journalism and party!!!

CONQUER CLUTTER At this event, you can “laugh your way to a clutter-free existence with authors and professional organizers Susan Borax and Heather Knittel.” Literally? Just putting thing in boxes, loling to yourself? I've got to try this out. 7 – 8:30 PM. West Vancouver Memorial Library. Free!

BECAUSE New Art exhibition at Blim! This show features the first collaboration between husband and wife art-team Brody McKnight and Christina Kenton. From the website: “Brody’s new work will explore an idea of chance in movement paired with that of predictibilty in still life. Christina’s paintings will display tons of over lapping color and accents of gore and felines.” Blim Gallery. See Blim.ca for gallery hours. Runs until Jan. 28.

ELDERCOLLEGE OPEN HOUSE Eldercollege is a continuing education program for people of 55 years or older run out of Capilano University. They will be having a tasty open house at the fabulous Le Bistro Chez Michel where you can learn more about the program and eat complimentary snacks, coffee, and tea, and even sign up for courses that interest you! 1:30 – 3:30 PM. Le Bistro Chez Michel (224 West Esplanade St.). Free!

DON QUIXOTE This classic comedy is being presented as a part of the Cap Theatre Series in collaboration with Axis Theatre Company. Watch “physical comedy at its finest … re-imagined with masks, magic, and mayhem!” What better way to ring in the new school year! Pro tip: it's pronounced “keeOH-tee”. Pronouncing things right is how you get babes. 8 PM. North Shore Credit Union Centre for the Performing Arts. $39/35.

WATCH BUFFY ALL NIGHT Yep, that's what I'm gonna do tonight. It's on Netflix, people! All seven seasons! Not only is Buffy exciting, scary, funny, and romantic, it also features women being kick-ass and men reading books! I can't think of a better television show. 8 PM – 1 AM. My house. Only $7.99/month!

BEL RIOSE, MAN YOUR HORSE, AND THE BARCELONA CHAIR Seeing as you chumps aren’t coming to NASH, as a consolation prize, you can go to this sweet show at the Biltmore. Doors at 8, bands at 9:30. The Biltmore (2755 Prince Edward St.). Probably $5.

JAZZ AT PRESENTATION HOUSE STUDIO After a break over Christmas break, this weekly jazzvent is starting up again, this week starring Clyde Reed on bass, Stan Taylor on drums, Professor Jared Burrows on guitar, and my friend and Cap U jazz student Stefan Thordarson on violin, playing "intense and intentional improvised music." 8 PM. Presentation House Studio (333 Chesterfield Ave.). $10.

t h u r s day jan. 12 STEEL PANTHER Steel Panther!!! If these guys’ music is as good as their name they are the best band in the universe. 8 PM. Commodore Ballroom. $38.50.

WHALES VS. WORMS - WHO'S EATING WHOM Any evil geniuses out there needing a source of inspiration? “Sheila Byers, marine specialist in polychaete worms, takes you into the deep-sea world of zombie worms.” Zombie worms. We’re all gonna die but at least it will be really weird. 7:30 PM. Unity of Vancouver (5840 Oak St.). Free!

COMEDY AT THE CALLING A weekly stand-up night! Will it provide: a) gags, b) laffs, c) chuckles, or d) all of the above? You decide. 9 – 11 PM. The Calling (1780 Davie St.). $5.

GHOST DANCING WITH COLONIALISM While there is no possible way that this event could live up to its name (ghost dancing!!), it sounds like it could be pretty cool anyway: author Grace Li Xiu Woo "casts light on some of the reasons for the stalemate and suggests new ways to bridge the cultural divide and arrive at a truly postcolonial justice system." Yeah. 7 – 8:30 PM. Vancouver Public Library. Free!

VOLLEYBALL CAP VS. CAMOSUN I know I’ve hated on sports in the past, but I actually love volleyball. And I also secretly love school spirit, so if you, too, feel this way, paint your entire body blue and go to the volleyball game after class on Friday! 6 PM. Capilano University Sportsplex. $5/$3 for students.

CAP CLASSICS: YOUNG ARTISTS CONCERT Come see Grace Takeda, prize-winning North Shore violinist, playing a variety of classical music, for free, at your own school! For more information, call 604-984-4951. 11:45 AM – 1 PM. North Shore Credit Union for the Performing Arts. Free!

THEE AHS/ORCA TEAM/SYNTHCAKE/LASER LOVE CATS CULT The picture for this event on Facebook is whales eating sushi; enough said? Perhaps not. Thee Ahs (my favourite band in Vancouver), Orca Team (they’re from Seattle! Support touring bands!), Synthcake (featuring Kristy-Lee Audette, famous Capilano jazz student), and Laser Love Cats Cult (3 lead guitars!) It should be an awesome show! 9 PM. Zoo Zhop (223 Main St.). $5.

WWE SMACKDOWN WORLD TOUR “Wrestling show featuring World Wrestling Entertainment allstars Randy Orton, the Big Show, Christian, Mark Henry, and Sheamus.” Someone please go to this. Please let someone at this university watch WWE. I can’t even. 7:30 PM. PNE Agrodome (2901 E. Hastings St.). $25 – $65.

21ST CENTURY FLEA MARKET Flea markets! Another thing I have always wanted to do but never have done! With over 175 vendors, you are sure to find and get what you want! You deserve it! Side note: apparently flea markets are THE PLACE to find knockoff designer purses. 10 AM – 3 PM. Croatian Culture Centre (3250 Commercial Dr.). $5 entry.

CANUCKS VS. DUCKS Okay, I still hate sports, not changing my position on that, but this game could be good for a variety of reasons : 1) Canucks rhymes with Ducks, which makes it sound catchy. 2) I really like The Mighty Ducks film franchise. Okay, those are all the reasons. 6 PM. Rogers Arena. $63.75 – $245.75 (or just go to a bar with yr friends).

friday jan. 13 FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH Ahhhhhh!!!!!! Celebrate this famously “spooky” holiday in one of the following ways: watching scary movies; dressing up like a goblin; playing a prank on your teacher with a toy spider; eating peeled grapes (eyeballs) and drinking cranberry juice (blood); or making up your own fun, scary, ghostly activity with your best friends! All day long. In a haunted castle. Free!

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

saturday jan. 14

POWER AND BEAUTY: TCHAIKOVSKY AND BEETHOVEN Power and beauty: like an elephant! like an eagle! like a rhinocerous! Featuring Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 1, performed by pianist Freddy Kempf, and Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony No. 6, "one of the more beautiful symphonies ever written." 8 PM. Orpheum Theatre. $21.50 – $84.

sunday jan. 15 VANCOUVER COMICON Ah! This makes me kind of wish I was home from NASH by Sunday; every single time this even rolls around I’m busy and I’ve NEVER been to a comic convention ever BUT I FEEL LIKE I WOULD LOVE IT. Some featured guests include Ed Brisson, Albert Chiyowski, and Albert Art. Check out www. vancouvercomiccon.com for more details. 11 AM – 5 PM. Heritage Hall (3102 Main St.). $4/ free for kids under 14.

SHOW AT THE RAILWAY CLUB Fish & Bird, White Ash Falls, and David Newberry rock out hard at the Railway Club! I only know Fish & Bird, but they are literally amazing so undoubtedly the other bands will be rad as well. If you’re into rootsy, bluesy, kind-of weird folk, you’ll dig this. 10:30 PM. The Railway Club. $8.

JAZZ VESPERS AT ST. ANDREW'S-WESLEY CHURCH This Sunday it features the Steve Kaldestad Quartet, which features everyone’s favourite class woodwinds teacher-slash-saxophonist, Steve Kaldestad! Seriously, check this out; St. Andrew’s-Wesley has mad acoustics and it’s by donation. 4 – 5 PM. St. Andrew’s-Wesley Church (1022 Nelson St.). By donation!

F e at u r e s

EDIT OR // s pe c i al fe ature s . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

SMALLER CLASSES, BIGGER LOVE The importance of funding alternative schools By Claire Vulliamy // Arts Editor

ALTERNATIVE EDUCATION UNDER THREAT The funding of public education in British Columbia has been a heavily contested issue. Declining rates of student populations have resulted in budgets shrinking or stagnating. From 2000 to 2010, Vancouver’s student enrollment declined by about five per cent. In 2010, the provincial education budget for grades eight to 12 was $1.88 billion, the same as the year previous. A news release from the provincial government from March 2010 said that “in education, per-pupil funding for students in the K-12 levels will rise from $8,200 in 2009-10 to an estimated $8,301 for 2010-11,” stressing that the amount

// Author Photo

of money spent on individual students is higher than ever. However, with rising operating costs of schools and the base rate of equipping classrooms with teachers, among other expenses, the Vancouver School Board was faced with a shortfall of approximately $16 million after receiving their provincial funding. The average class size in BC is around 25 students, with around five per cent of classes having a total over 30. City School has two full-time teachers and one part-time staff assistant on board, which, for the 30-something population, is above the provincial average. For that reason, when the Vancouver Board of Education released its revised preliminary operating budget proposals for 2010/2011, one of the positions at City School was on the chopping block. In the introduction of the document, it was stated that “… the impact of the reductions proposed in order to balance the proposed 2010/2011 operating budget will shake the very core of the [Vancouver school] system.” Members of City School reacted against the cuts by attending public hearings and protests. Former COPE School Board Trustee Allen Blakey visited City School shortly after the budget proposals were released to speak with students. “I liked the fact that there was no automatic agreement with my views, but rather questioning and stimulating comments. And everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves,” says Blakey of his visit. Blakey also returned to City School in 2011 to attend their 40 year reunion. In regards to the proposed cuts, Blakey says that he is “not of the view that all school staffing should be the same. In particular, I believe that students growing up in poverty with two strikes against them from the start should have smaller classes and more resources to give them a more equal chance to have an equal outcome with other students … City School I perceive to be a program to enable students who find themselves unable to function effectively in regular programs to continue their education in a more open atmosphere. I support improved staffing for such a purpose.” Another long-time alternative school in

Vancouver, Ideal Mini, was also faced with the potential problem of losing a staff member. Leah Pacilla, a parent of an Ideal Mini student and a member of the Parent Advisory Committee, told the Vancouver Observer in 2010, "If we lost a teacher, that would be one of our pillars. It would hobble our core function." Students at Lord Byng Secondary also rallied to save eight teachers who were to be laid off by creating a Facebook group and petition. Two of the teachers at Byng were later rehired. Similarly, after students, teachers, and parents made their voices heard, City School did not lose their staff member. Sal says that this is nothing new: “Every time the budget comes up we’re on tenterhooks, in the last few years I think more so than ever.” TODAY The newest head teacher, Jay, previously worked as an environmental engineer before starting teaching at mainstream high schools and eventually hearing about the opening at City School. “I had the expectation that it would be a lot of work, because you’re teaching a lot of subjects,” Jay says, but he was pleased about the opportunity to collaborate with other teachers and that there “would be more opportunity to build relationships with students because you’re with them for more than a block on every second day.” Jay explains that being part of the LGBT community has also influenced his motivation as a teacher. “I did volunteer work with [LGBT] youth before I got into teaching,” and as such, “[I] spent a lot of time connecting with young people who … didn’t feel safe in school, or they didn’t feel heard.” Sal has many memories of what the small school has accomplished. Among them are Canadian exchange trips to PEI, Quebec, and the Arctic, and large-scale projects such as school plays. Overall, however, “that we’re still here after all this time is quite an accomplishment,” says Sal, and an important one at that. “The people that are here are pretty happy about being here and that there is a here to be at,” she says. Former student Bunny Meugens says that if it hadn’t been for City School, she wouldn’t have graduated. “My one teacher Gary,” head teacher at the time, “went above and beyond the call of duty.” “When I was in the psych ward, he came and visited me. I knew that he was there for me if I needed him. Actually, I knew that about all of my teachers at city school. They weren’t just authority figures that gave me boring assignments and told me to be quiet in class. I think they genuinely cared about all of us and wanted to help us learn as much as we could.” In my own graduating year a select group of students decided to make a yearbook for the school: designing it, binding it, and working out costs of printing on their own. One of the creators, Chris Liberty, wrote his thoughts on his educational experience: “Here we all help each other, through work, or friendship or guidance. That is why I love this place, no one forces you to do something, they ask. That strengthens my belief [that] City School is a living, breathing entity, an amalgam of all the students’ and teachers’ personalities. And this had a profound effect on me, I like going to school now. I mean it. I love going to City School.”

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

hen I used to tell people that I went to an alternative school, major misconceptions would crop up: that I did something criminal, that I had an IQ in the genius levels, or that my parents were paying for it. In actuality, “alternative” can mean anything, and in the case of a student who is falling through the cracks of the educational system, it means a place to land. I went to City School, an alternative school that exists within King George Secondary in Vancouver’s West End. Near the entrance is a map of Vancouver with all the major intersections, and the names of students and teachers pinned down wherever they live. The pins are almost equally spaced across the city, with commutes ranging from five minutes to two hours. While currently a program for grades ten to 12, City School previously included elementary as well as high school. In the early days of its formation in 1971, the school was significantly different. The population, now numbering 30, sat somewhere around 75, “on paper maybe a 120,” according to Sal Robinson, the current longestrunning member of staff. Staff assistant, though de facto teacher, Sal began working at the school in 1977 – immediately after her own graduation from City School. The reason for the overarching name City School was a style of learning that used the city as a classroom. The original modus operandi was to “go out and learn anything and everything, everywhere,” describes Sal. In order to attain credits, she explains, the student had to make a case that they had “fulfilled the goals” of a course. While some elements of this approach remain, after the provincial exams were introduced, Sal explains, “the curriculum content became more important than the process.” One longstanding rebellion against the curriculum is a credit course called Independently Directed Studies (IDS) which allows students to study any topic they like, design their own course structure, and then present evidence that they accomplished their goals by the end of the term. In City School, it functions the same way any elective would. Not all IDS projects work out: I remember proposing a deliberately antiacademic “pastry reviewing” IDS with two other classmates, which was not accepted. The input of the students’ classes such as Physical Education, under the direction of the students, became one game of dodge ball after another. The City School students bonded with the King George cafeteria chef, as our extra classroom was essentially a closet behind the lunchroom. We arranged for the chef, who is also an archery instructor at Academie Duello, to come in to teach us archery, sword fighting, and the fine art of multiple push-ups. Afterwards we were taught practical lessons in nutrition, and, best of all, fed. This unlikely partnership taught me one of my most valuable life lessons: how to eat more than just cereal and cheese sandwiches. That is what defines City School’s nature: it is an open school. In a classroom setting, the tone is conversational. Some classes see the entire school in one room, some are pared down to five people in a quiet corner. Questions are encouraged, and teachers are addressed by their first

names. In City School’s 2010 yearbook, one student describes her impressions of the space: “The large communal desks in the main portion of the school formed an open circle, which I interpreted as an equality-based layout.” The school itself is primarily one room, which formerly served as a metal shop, with a glass-paneled garage door that rolls up onto a small, enclosed garden. The philosophy of the school was influenced in part by what many consider to be one of the original “free” or democratic schools, England’s Summerhill School formed by Scottish author A.S. Neill in 1921. Summerhill essentially gave students freedom to choose their path to education. Neill wrote that “the function of the child is to live his own life – not the life that his anxious parents think he should live, nor a life according to the purpose of the educator who thinks he knows best. All this interference and guidance on the part of adults only produces a generation of robots." From the start of its existence, City School, like Summerhill, has fostered democratic principles by hosting a general meeting once a week to share announcements about the school and to resolve issues. Anyone can put an item on the agenda to be subject for discussion, often at length. Unlike Summerhill, which is a private school, City School is part of the public school system: free and open to anyone who wishes to apply.

f e at u r e s ➼

The Calendar Round: After 52 Haabs, or 73 Tzol'kins, the combination of day positions realign. Once this cycle completes on the day that someone is born, they are considered an elder in the community. // Shannon Elliott

and the other is a tally of different cycles called the Long Count. These three calendars work side by side, analogous to cogged wheels that turn one another as time goes by. The lives of the Maya were centered on these calendars; everything from agricultural practicSeven days makes up a week, four weeks comes like weeding and planting, to time transition prises a month, and after 12 months, we cel- ceremonies, to sacrifices and various rituals – ebrate a new year. all were done intentionally on certain dates of Time is money. Time, as it is in the majority the calendars. of industrialized nations, has been turned into Tzol'Kin – 260 day cycle a commodity. We can make time, waste time, spend time, reflect upon the times … but what This is considered to be the most sacred aspect is time, if not only a unit of measure calculated of the Maya calendar because of the perceived by agreed-upon mathematical systems? Repre- presence and influence of various deities in each sented by patented tools such as clocks and cal- day. It is under this day count that the twenty endars, time is arbitrary – its meaning only holds Daykeeper deities act, one for each day in the the values placed upon it by society, therefore cycle. The Tzol'Kin gives each day a number from implying that the definition of time varies from one to 13, which is matched with one of the 20 one culture to the next. Daykeepers. When matched, 260 combinations As it is now, in our increasingly globally con- are offered (13 x 20 = 260). nected world, there seems to be a unified view of “Each day is followed through the entire 260time followed by most populations of large and day sequence as a calendar made up of 13-day highly producing countries. However, those who cycles and 20-day cycles,” writes Raymond Marhave traveled to more remote parts of the world dyks in the book Voice of the Galaxy. would agree that these areas run on a different Naturally, the deities have names, so the days kind of time. “Although we cannot study time- in this calendar are named after the deity with consciousness and duration directly among an added number. For example, the beginning of ancient individuals or societies, we can exam- a Tzol'Kin cycle starts with the number one on ine how time is represented: how time's passage an Imix day, the following day 2-Ik, until the thiris reckoned,” writes Prudence M. Rice in Time, teenth day completes the cycle as 13-Ben. The Power, and the Maya. next day would start a new thirteen-day cycle, as It is not a far stretch to imagine that in the past, 1-Ix, and so on until the twentieth day as 7-Ahaw, before globalization rampantly spread in impli- completing the deity cycle. cating ways, time and its definition varied drastiThis calendar cycles perpetually, and is not cally from one culture or population to the next. based on the movements of the Earth nor any This is indeed applicable to the Classic Maya other planet or moon in our solar system. Rathof Mesoamerica, who saw their numbers de- er, the Tzol'Kin builds purely around the movecline drastically following European conquests. ments of the Daykeepers, who each have their Of them, there only remains few archival data- respectful archetype, and thus bring a specific bases and temples; therefore, also very little of energetic influence to each day, as honoured by their culture. the Maya. Tracking it remains a sacred practice Part of the heritage that the Maya left behind amongst contemporary Maya to this day, and is their knowledge of the galaxy and of the cycles also serves as a divination practice. of the planets, as well as their calendars, which Because this calendar is cyclic, the movethey designed to track these cosmic cycles. The ments of the Tzol'Kin can be tracked for the past, Maya were arguably the most advanced civiliza- present, and future alike. Much like Western astion in astrology and astronomy, possessing the trology with its 12-sign zodiac, it is possible to lomost precise and intricate tools known to Meso- cate under which Daykeeper a person was born, america for tracking the orbits of planets, stars, which can shed insight into what influence will the moon, and the sun; they could predict up to be consistently present in that person's life. thousands of year-long cycles into both the past Haab – 365 day cycle and the future. Time for the Maya is cyclic – it is not linear in This aspect that makes up the calendar is somethe way that we today perceive time, one year what more familiar to those in the Western world, after the next viewed through horizontal histori- for it resembles our own 365-day annual calencal timelines. The Maya time is made up of small dar. The Haab is counted as 18 months of 20 days cycles that make up larger cycles, which were each, with the addition of a 19th month containorganized in individual calendars that synched ing five extra days, which to the Maya are coninto one another. Through this perspective, time, sidered unlucky. With no leap year added, this and thus also the calendars, will technically see calendar thus counts 365 days. no end, nor no real beginning since the day of The Mayan New Year’s Day occurs on 1-Pop, Creation as told by the ancient sacred text of the and in relationship with the Tzol'Kin, the yearPopul Vuh. bearer is the Daykeeper that corresponds with Currently, we are approaching the end of a cy- this date. It also gave its name and energetic influcle that we have been in for approximately 5,000 ence to the Haab that follows, according to Geoff years, which began in 3115 BCE and is to end Stray in his book The Mayan and Other Ancient on December 21, 2012. As it is often misrepre- Calendars: “Only four of the 20 Daykeeper signs sented, this does not indicate the end of the Maya coincide with 1-Pop, and in the classic calendar By Adélie Houle-Lachance calendar, and also not the end of the world – it they were Akbal, Lamat, Ben, and Etznab. Given // writer is simply the end of a galactic cycle, after which the 13 number variations of each sign, there another would naturally begin and be tracked were thus 4 x 13, or 52 possible year-bearers. “Clocks slay time … time is dead as long as it with the same amount of importance if the Clas- In fact, there are five theoretical possible yearis being clicked off by little wheels; only when sic Maya civilization were still alive. bearer groups, (since 4 x 5 = 20: the number of the clock stops does time come to life.” day-signs), but only four are known to have been —William Faulkner INTRODUCING THE CALENDARS in use. For example, the year-bearers shifted forime is running out. Time passes by There are three major calendar-based counts ward one position in Post-Classic times (to Kan, quickly when you're having fun. I've got that the Maya used to keep track of time. Each Muluc, Ix and Caucac) in the Yucatan peninsula, too much time on my hands. There are counts different cycles of time based on different for unknown reasons,” writes Stray. 60 seconds in a minute. 60 minutes later, an methods, for different purposes, and hold respecConsequently, the Haab calendar does not hour has passed. After 24 hours, a new day starts. tive significance. There is the Tzol'kin, the Haab, have a specific starting date, where some start at

THIS IS NOT THE

END

It’s not actually the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

the end of the world

as we know it

different times than other. Specifically, two distinct types of Haab have emerged; the other can be considered frozen, with its New Year's date falling on the same day every year. However, it appears as though different Haab calendars saw a freeze at different dates. What caused this change, where suddenly the Haab had different starting dates in different places? Taking into consideration the land conquers by the Spanish and the colonization of the Maya people, perhaps the rippling effects are to blame. INTRODUCING THE CYCLES Tun: This is a basic cycle, and it is based on the 20-day Daykeeper cycle, which creates a larger cycle of 360 days. This 360 day cycle is what is referred to as tun, and every tun traditionally ends on the Daykeeper day of Ahaw. Katun: “Each katun is composed of 7200 days (20 x 360 = 7200) and lasts about 19.7 of our years,” according to Mardyks. After 20 katuns have cycled, it is considered a baktun cycle. 13-Katun: When 13 katun cycles pass, it is considered to have been a galactic cycle, for it is comprised of complete Tzol'Kin cycles. “A 13katun lasts a bit over 256 of our years. The 93,600 days in a 13-katun cycle carries within it 360 Tzol'Kin (360 x 260 = 93,600),” writes Mardyks. A 13-katun cycle, therefore, can also be seen as cycle of 260-tun. Baktun: A baktun cycle, as previously mentioned, is comprised of 20 katun cycles. Lasting a little over 394 of our years, it counts 144,000 days. 13-Baktun: This cycle is composed of 13 baktun cycles, or 1,872,000 days. This encompasses 7200 Tzol'Kin, and 260 katun cycles, according to Mardyks. Long Count: When all of these cycles are combined, it creates a pattern that is referred to as the Long Count. The Long Count is used to calculate whole epochs – cycles of approximately 5,000 years. The Long Count cycle that we are currently in is to end December 21, 2012, as well as all the cycles mentioned above. This is significant, indicating the end of a galactic year cycle, or the completion of important calendar cycle counts. The Long Count was developed in order to track dates into the future and the past, and “starts at base date, the first day of the current creation – August 11th 3114 BC, recorded as 13.0.0.0.0 4 Ahau 8 Cumku … When the count reaches 13 baktuns, which is a period of 1,872,000 days, 5,200 tuns, or just over 5,125 solar years, a new creation occurs. The current 13-baktun cycle will be completed on December 2012 AD, which is the next Day of Creation,” writes Stray. AS ABOVE, SO BELOW As well as calendric counts, the Maya tracked the cycles and orbits of the planets. Specifically, Venus, the sun, the moon, Jupiter, Mars, and Saturn were of significant interest. Similar to the way that we track the sun and celebrate solstices and equinoxes, the Maya placed importance on the completion or merging of planetary orbits in the Galaxy. According to Mardyks, the Milky Way has a high concentration of stars due to their placement along the equator of the Galaxy: “At the moment of the 26 winter solstices from 1986 through 2012, the Sun's disk is aligned with the centre of this Milky Way band of stars, technically referred to as the galactic equator … This suggests that in addition to the spiritual and archetypal energies that come from the Earth from the stars at the moment of the solstice, there is also a higher level of galactic input,” he writes. “This series of galactic alignments will conclude at the 2012 winter solstice, which is also the end of a 5125 year-long, 13-baktun Maya calendar

f e atu r e s cycle. This 26 year period, from 1986 through 2012, correlates with the last two 13-tun cycles in this concluding 13-baktun cycle. The last time the solstices aligned with the galactic equator was 13,000 years ago.” If we choose to support this, we are then clearly embarked on a momentum that is approaching a critical turn. But what does this mean on a tangible, planetary level, here on Earth? Depending which school of thought is used, it could be argued that the universe is interconnected, and therefore, the galactic happenings that take place above will inevitably have repercussions below in our world and lives. Aside from the Hollywood misrepresentations of world-crumbling natural disasters and mainstream media warnings of the impending apocalypse, there are many prophecies that the Maya believed in, none of which alarmed for doom and gloom. There are indeed crossovers that can be found in many other religions across the world, alluding to the end of the period of darkness and entering an age of light, or marking a shift in consciousness. The idea is that galactic alignments, and the completion of archaic cycles bearing strong archetypal influences will have repercussions on the Earth will not be disregarded; however, a

certain level of questioning and filtering must be done when analyzing the conventional information being relayed about such sacred and ancient knowledge. WHAT THE ELDERS SAY “People write about prophecy in the name of the Maya. They say that the world will end in December 2012. The Mayan elders are angry with this. The world will not end. It will be transformed,” says Carlos Barrios, Maya Elder of the Eagle Clan. “We are no longer in the World of the Fourth Sun, but we are not yet in the World of the Fifth Sun. This is the time in-between, the time of transition. As we pass through transition there is a colossal, global convergence of environmental destruction, social chaos, war, and ongoing Earth Changes … Humanity will continue, but in a different way. Material structures will change. From this we will have the opportunity to be more human.” Although Barrios is referring to possible upheaval on the surface of the planet, it could be argued that these changes are already taking place. Though we may not directly feel the repercussions of war and environmental degradation here in Canada, these are current realities for the planet. Perhaps living in a state of fear that our

lives as we know them are about to end is unproductive – we should instead be taking a look at the state of the present to realize what we need to change. Barrios explains, “The economy now is a fiction. The first five-year stretch of transition from August 1987 to August 1992 was the beginning of the destruction of the material world. We have progressed ten years deeper into the transition phase by now, and many of the so-called sources of financial stability are in fact hollow. The banks are weak. This is a delicate moment for them. They could crash globally, if we don't pay attention. Now, people are paying attention.” “We live in a world of polarity – day and night, man and woman, positive and negative. Light and darkness need each other. They are a balance,” says Barrios. The duality of the world in which we live is becoming more and more apparent as the gap between the rich and poor widens; as social media continues to draw lines between gender roles and behaviour. Though the technologies of globalization seem to be increasing our connections and communications, we simultaneously also seem to be becoming more alienated and segregated from each other and our environment. Barrios believes that “we need to work

together for peace, and balance with the other side. We need to take care of the Earth that feeds and shelters us. We need to put our entire mind and heart into pursuing unity and unity now, to confront the other side and preserve life.” Barrios stresses that the theme for 2012 should be action: “The prophesied changes are going to happen, but our attitude and actions determine how harsh or mild they are. We need to act, to make changes, and to elect people to represent us who understand and who will take political action to respect the Earth.” “Meditation and spiritual practice are good, but also action. It's very important to be clear about who you are, and also about your relation to the Earth. Develop yourself according to your own tradition and the call of your heart. But remember to respect differences, and strive for unity. Eat wisely – a lot of food is corrupt in either subtle or gross ways. Pay attention to what you are taking into your body. Learn to preserve food, and to conserve energy. Learn some good breathing techniques, so you have mastery of your breath. Be clear. Follow a tradition with great roots. It is not important what tradition, your heart will tell you, but it must have great roots.” Concludes Barrios, “The greatest wisdom is in simplicity.”

Conflicted intern-ally More students seeking internships are working under potentially illegal conditions

experience before graduation. “The thing that’s so good about intern programs is that it gives people a relatively simple way to find out if they want to do this stuff, whether they enjoy it, and whether they are good at it,” says Roger Gillespie, the man in charge of hiring student interns for the Toronto Star, which offers paid internships. Gillespie explains that student internships also serve as a way for employers to see potential hires in action before offering a job. He makes it clear that interns should not expect full-time jobs: “Don’t rely on some notion that you are going to get hired here, because that’s a stupid thing to do,” said Gillespie. Last year, the Star employed 22 interns for their three programs and none were hired fulltime. The interns themselves often set the pace of competition for scarce positions. “Almost no one gets into our program who isn’t prepared to give up a chunk of their life,” said Gillespie. Outworking your peers isn’t always the challenge, especially if you’re a business student. Sometimes staying focused on monotonous yet important tasks is the most difficult part. Fourth-year business technology management student Paul Benton interned with CIBC World Markets for four months. After a rigorous three-part interview process, he found himself spending hours in front of an Excel spreadsheet filing reports for traders. “I would say we were being exploited, but we were paid quite well; $22 per hour is at the higher end of the scale,” says Benton. As boring as it was, the experience paid off: “Getting a job is a lot easier if you have an internship on your resumé. It’s a big part of landing a position after you finish school,” he says. Practical work experience is an important part of a resumé, but arts industries are less likely to pay for your time: Louis Calabro is a manager of the Genie and Gemini awards for the Academy of Canadian Cinema and Television (ACCT). The ACCT hires unpaid interns, required to come in

for 12 hours per week, for six-month internships. “We’re a not-for-profit organization so we don’t have a lot of excess cash floating around,” says Calabro. “The internship is a way to provide experience for somebody who’s maybe just coming out of school or who may be in school at the same time. It’s not really meant to be a situation where you’re going to be making tons of money.” The ACCT generally hires interns from arts and science programs. The interns’ responsibilities range from labeling, filing, and boxing things to putting together screener packages for nominating committee members and organizing information for the nominating committee. “We function like any production company would on the office side of things. So I truly believe that does provide a lot of experience,” he said. Langille says, “In the case of internships, whether you’re going to get the minimum wage is a big question. A lot of the internships aren’t paid.” While internships provide real-world experience before graduation, there are other ways to build a resumé and break into your chosen profession. “There are other ways to gain professional experience and I find that, increasingly, many students in the journalism program are working at a professional level almost from day one and keep on doing so even if it's as a freelancer, part-time, or contract, in their summers or spare time,” said Ivor Shapiro, chair of Ryerson’s journalism program. Still, the job market’s demand for practical workplace experience is a reality for most Ryerson students. “This has a wider impact on society because people are putting off life milestones, such as getting married, moving out of their parents' home, entering into relationships, having kids, buying a house, saving for retirement,” explains Langille. “This is a phenomenon that is affecting [current] generations and will affect the coming generations that are entering the labour market.”

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

for them,” he says. “Then, I found out it would be unpaid, which was okay. Most [internships] are, // The Eyeopener (Ryerson University) which sucks.” ORONTO (CUP) – Internships can put Agincourt was working on search engine opsome real world experience on your re- timization content for the network two days per sumé and even land you a job, but some week. During his shifts he would write five to six employers see them as an opportunity to get 500-word stories on major sports while having to work done cheaply. With students desperate include phrases for optimization. to build their portfolios, working for little or no money can seem like a viable option. The problem arises from the fact that the laws surrounding internships are vague and often unenforced, and, in the case of unpaid internships, many students end up working in illegal environments without realizing it. Andrew Langille, a labour and employment lawyer in Toronto, says that internships have become a major part of the job market transition that young people go through: “Unpaid internships are being used as a proxy for entry-level positions, and they’re allowing companies to not hire people, but to use a revolving door of unpaid interns to sustain the business and the operations,” he explains. The Employment Standards Act (ESA) has a // Jason Jeon six-point definition of a legal unpaid internship. Within that definition, it states that an unpaid inAgincourt says he received very little feedback ternship should be the equivalent of a training on his work in the four months he was working program and should wholly benefit the intern. for the network. He didn’t feel that he gained any Langille says that internships fall under the benefit from his time there. title of “precarious employment”. “Basically, I spent two days a week for four “Precarious employment is where you don’t months cranking out 2,000 to 2,500 words of usehave a lot of ties to the employer; it’s generally on less bullshit that no one saw, with no byline, no a short-term basis on a contract with the employ- money, and not even something that I would put er. You may not get benefits,” he says. “If you’re in my portfolio,” he explains. “I worked at a place making coffee, filing papers, photocopying, in- that I always wanted to work at – and hated it and putting data and so on and so forth, it’s probably became completely disillusioned.” not a training program, it’s probably illegal and it Despite his negative experience, Agincourt probably violates the ESA.” can understand why companies would take Bruno Agincourt* is a senior journalism stu- advantage of free work from eager students: “It dent who had a summer internship at a well- really does pay off for them. It’s just so hugely known Toronto sports network. “That’s one of disappointing.” the reasons I moved to Toronto, I wanted to work Although the laws are vague and the risk of exploitation is always a factor, internships can be an * Names have been changed extremely effective means of gaining real world By Jeff Lagerquist

a rt s

EDIT OR // Cl aire Vul l iamy // arts @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

A Collaboration of Art and Activism

Arts Sh ort s

SFU’s Audain gallery home to process-oriented exhibit By Brittney Kroiss // Writer

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

hile the historic Woodward’s building was once a symbol of Vancouver’s prosperity, now its location and use has become an issue of contention. After being a popular shop from 1903 onwards, the iconic building ended up deteriorating after World War II. In 2002, the “Woodward’s Squat” took place, with activists and residents of the Downtown Eastside (DTES) neighbourhood occupying the building, demanding low income social housing be developed in the then-abandoned multi-level department store. Today, the building is now home to a variety of uses, including mixed-income apartments, a number of shops, SFU’s contemporary arts campus, and the Audain gallery. The Audain gallery is currently hosting an exhibit that is exploring the social and political issues of the DTES, often referred to as the “poorest postal code in Canada”. The collaborative process-orientated project, The Mapping the Everyday: Neighborhood Claims for the Future, has run since Nov. 17, 2011, and will continue to Feb. 25, 2012. The Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre (DEWC), a feminist organization founded in 1978 which provides a safe space for the women of the DTES, has collaborated with Audain Gallery’s curator Sabine Bitter and visiting artist Elke Krasny. They have joined together in order to turn the Audain Gallery into a meeting ground to bring up and share various issues affecting the surrounding area. Bitter is a Vancouver-based Austrian-born artist and a visual arts teacher at SFU. She is excited about the project as “it really shows what we can do as artists to work for different groups and have an exchange of different knowledges.” In order to expand on the various types of knowledge, the project grew to include a number of different art collectives, SFU Contemporary Art students and members of the DTES Community. Under Bitter’s guidance, SFU Contemporary Arts students ran Out of Bounds: Festival of SiteSpecific Interventions, which took place over a two-week span and in the space that the students routinely travel: between the school and their 611 Alexander St. studios. The students took part in a number of ways, with individual actions, installations, and short performances on the street. Alexis Vanderveen, one of Simon Fraser’s Contemporary Arts’ students, refers to the project as a “move to make Woodward’s [into an] ‘open’ space for the Downtown Eastside.” The Audain gallery, whose doors are usually locked and put under heavy surveillance, often makes members of the community feel as though they are “being watched.” Unlocking the doors during the duration of the exhibit is an attempt to make a place for those in the community to meet, bring about a comfortable sense of community, and inevitably assist the community in reclaiming “their space.” Vanderveen took part in the Out of Bounds festival, documenting trips between her studio and

THE ELDER SCROLLS V: SKYRIM It’s like Highlander, but with dragons

the Audain Gallery by three methods: by foot, by bus, and by car, in order to contrast them. Recording the experience with a video camera around her neck, she explored the concept of space by taking in the sounds and sights of the neighbourhood. She found that her experiences, sense of time, and connection to the neighbourhood varied greatly depending on her method of travel. While she will most likely not make the videos public due both to the poor quality and out of respect of privacy of the others in the footage, she will join with the other students who took part in the festival on Jan. 19 at 7pm in the Audain Gallery to discuss the varied socially-engaged art practices and experiments that took place. Art collective Downtown Eastside Media, or desmedia, engages artists and members of the community in collaborative art projects. It considers itself a “living archive” of the neighbourhood. As part of the collaboration, they hosted the “Collective Futures in the Downtown Eastside”, a public forum between artists and residents to discuss successes, challenges, history, and potential futures of the area. Desmedia’s workstation and archive of videotaped interviews is currently on display in the gallery, as it is without a home. Similar to Vanderveen, the archive is not available to the public eye for viewing out of respect to those who have taken part. Playwright and performer Marie Clemens, who has worked with the DEWC in the past, teamed up with Michelle St. John, creating a collaboration called red diva projects. They intend to produce a new performance that “explores the potential of fiction to express critical truth.” Artist collective Coupe was invited to the Audain Gallery to host “Wednesday Night School”, which facilitates a bi-weekly reading group that is

// Sarah Vitet open to the public during the duration of the exhibit. Coupe aims to “address the acute condition of art of our time, identify the current aesthetic mode corresponding to Vancouver's regime of monopoly-capitalist development, and attempt to articulate the aesthetic and political practice proper to undermine it.” The project’s main installation, located in the Audain Gallery, consists of an open white room wrapped with headlines and demands from the DEWC newsletter over the past couple of decades. The excerpts range from the late 1970s to 2011, and include: “Stop the War of the Poor!” (1996); “Stop Police Violence!” (2003); “We’ve Survived the Long Winter” (1990); “DTES is Not for Developers!” (2011); “Gentrifu*kation!” (2011); “People are Dying!” (2008); “You are not forgotten” (1989); “Rise Up!” (2005); “We demand an inquiry into the missing woman!” (2008); and “Take back your power!” (1987). The bold, black statements covering the walls make a strong impact, describing the various causes that have been fought for in the DTES over the last three decades. Other Mapping the Everyday events include art workshops such as cedar weaving, discussions, reading groups, live performances, presentations, a short-film screening, and the annual Feb. 14 Women’s Memorial March. While the exhibit is free, the Audain Gallery is accepting donations of books to build a library for the DEWC, which recently had all of their books stolen. For more information on the various workshops, visit the Audain Gallery’s website at http://sfuwoodwards.ca/index.php/audain

Man, winter break. Plenty of free time to get lots of things done. That is, unless you’re like me and have been profoundly affected by the timely release of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim right before the end of term. The video game is the fifth iteration of the Elder Scroll series, a first-person RPG set in a sprawling mythical continent filled with tons of wrongs to be righted, or rights to be wronged. It’s gargantuan; that would be the first adjective that comes to mind. The world map is massive, the list of quests you can do is titanic, the options you have for character building are brobdingnagian, which means really big. Much like an arrow to the knee, the game rendered me immobile on the couch in front of the TV, but still, after clocking in almost 60 hours of my winter break into that game, I still haven’t gotten anywhere close to finishing it. The story begins unhappily with your character about to be executed. But before that happens, a not-so-friendly flying reptile, commonly known as a dragon, shows up and puts a damper on the whole affair. That’s the first five minutes, and pretty much the only part of the game where you’re obligated to do exactly what the game wants you to, which in this case is get the hell away from the not-so-friendly flying reptile (NSFFR). After that, it’s smooth sailing into an almost infinite plethora of choice. You could go to wizard school and learn to play ten-pin people bowling with fireballs; perhaps you want to become a fanatical priest and lay down some holy ass whuppin’ on some zombie Viking guys. Heck, become a pickpocket and participate in the joyful pastime of stealing shirts off people’s backs. Literally, you can do that. Mind you, if you feel like robbing someone, it’s always easier to stick a bucket on their head and just take everything in their shop. Again, you can do that; in this case, it’s a glitch that the designers have decided they aren’t going to fix, simply because it’s just too much fun. Naturally though, the game’s main story line revolves around killing these pesky NSFFR all over the place. One might even say they’re a renewable resource, since they re-spawn all the time and you can use their parts for blacksmithing. It’s a fantastic game and a must-own for any gamer who enjoys fantasy RPGs. And for those of you who are still playing it, keep dodging those knee arrows. By Beni Spieler // Writer

A r ts

‘Gary Oldman is maybe the only actor that’s better than I am’ A chat with Internet comedy sensation Jon Lajoie By Blake Morneau // The Martlet (University of Victoria)

ICTORIA (CUP) – I dial the number I’ve been given. Instead of the usual ring of a telephone line, I’m treated to the sounds of an orchestra in full flight. There is no answer, just a disaffected voice on the other end simply telling me, “Jon’s not here, leave a message.” I call back. The same orchestra, only this time, an answer: it’s Internet comedy sensation and star of FX’s sitcom The League (now in its third season in the US, first in Canada), Montreal’s Jon Lajoie. He’s on a prep day for a live show in Saskatoon and has no problem killing some time talking to me: “What the hell else am I gonna do in Saskatoon, right? Not a lot to do except freeze my ass off and eat horribly.” Between live touring, releasing comedy albums through iTunes, his work on The League, and, of course, his Internet videos with view counts in the millions, Lajoie has built a strong, loyal cult following. The Internet videos were what launched him, but Lajoie says that wasn’t the plan when he started putting them up on the web. “Go ahead, look up my first video, which is ‘Saturday Night Webcam Party’, and you tell me if that looks like a guy with a plan,” says Lajoie. “It looked like a drunk guy in an apartment who is messing around in front of a camera, and that’s exactly what it is.”

Despite the rough edges and lack of technical skill in that first video, it got Lajoie started on a quest to hone his craft and get better with subsequent videos. “It was really exciting to start doing it and to kind of explore shooting videos and editing them and seeing what I could do with them,” he says. “I really did invest a lot of time, once I started: reading about editing, reading about shooting and different camera lenses, and blah, blah, blah. Not to say I have any production value in my videos, but I just kind of know a bit more about it and I’ve gotten better – regardless of whether I’ve gotten good or not, I got better.” The effort more than paid off as the videos, including “High as Fuck”, “Everyday Normal Guy (1 & 2)”, and “2 Girls 1 Cup” began to go viral. “People started watching. I was like, ‘Okay, I’m gonna try to ride this wave a little bit,’” says Lajoie. The absurdist humor of Lajoie’s songs and commercials for fake products caught the eye of Jeff and Jackie Schaeffer, creators and producers of The League, as they scoured the Internet looking for someone to cast as the aloof but wellintentioned stoner character Taco. “They had seen my videos and were like, ‘Oh, Taco already exists. It’s him and he’s making Internet videos.’ So they came to get me, knowing what I do and liking my sensibilities and all that stuff. They’ve kind of allowed me to do a lot of what I do on the show.” The semi-improvised, laid-back humor of The

League seems to be the perfect fit for the absurd, often sick humor Lajoie has become known for. “It’s really the perfect situation for me, because I would not do well on a straight-up sitcom or anything like that; I’m not the best actor in the world,” he says – but quickly reconsiders. “Gary Oldman [is] maybe the only actor that’s better than I am. Him, Daniel-Day Lewis, and then it’s me. It’s like those guys could do those roles, but I gotta stick to having some kind of say in what’s coming out of my mouth and how it’s coming out of my mouth.” Even with his star rising as a cast member of The League and his continued release of hilarious Internet videos, Lajoie finds time to tour and bring his unique brand of humor to the live audiences all over North America. As an Internet sensation, he understands people might be skeptical towards paying for a ticket to see someone they could see for free online. To those people, Lajoie offers a very simple answer:

// Britta Bachus “Tell them to go fuck themselves!” But he adds that he knows where the skeptics are coming from: “I get it. At first, I hesitated to do a live show because I have no interest in reproducing my videos live on stage. I think that’s boring for everyone. What I do, it’s basically just my comedic sensibilities thrown together in a variety show. Yes, I will do a few of the songs that people wanna hear and there’s a bunch of new songs, a bunch of stand up and new videos that people are gonna get to see. I do a PowerPoint presentation as well.” Covering all the bases of his many talents, Lajoie promises something extra for even his most devout fans. “If you knew all my stuff inside and out, still 60 per cent of the show is new. You won’t have seen or heard it in any of my videos. And I masturbate on stage. If you want to see that. I don’t know many people who do wanna see that, but if you do wanna see it, I’ll be doing it.”

Radio Can Make You a Video Star Radio Canada International demonstrates how

By Leah Scheitel // Writer

t is common knowledge that Canada is a massive country with many diverse cultures. Montreal-based radio station Radio Canada International (RCI) wants to know what Canadian university and college students have to say about their own culture, and are extending the opportunity by inviting students to make short films for the World Filmmakers Project. RCI is part of CBC, and has been offering radio programming to Canada and beyond since 1945, when it broadcast in English, French, and

RCI aims to reach a wide audience with this initiative because of the theme of Cultural Crossroads is very broad, and relates to RCI’s work on a larger scope. “[Cultural Crossroads] is the theme that has been emanating throughout what we did in the past five years,” says Chassagne. So far, the site has over 650 short films in various collections. A past theme of ‘Roots’ showcases stories that range from hockey tales in Quebec, to a series of photos of friends at a party in Ontario, to a Chinese-born Canadian returning to Beijing in 2008, before the Olympics. “The most interesting stories are those from different angles. There was someone who sent me a story about her grandfather who was dying, and how she accompanied him throughout his dying days,” Chassagne says. Other stories that stood out to Chassagne were about a sister’s suicide and one entitled My Motherland Korea, which was an animated slideshow about Korea. “People have different ways of thinking about any subject,” Chassagne explains, which is why the project is open to any type of creative medium. The rules are few: the films have to be no longer than eight minutes excluding credits, can be produced in any language as long as it is subtitled in either French of English, must follow the Cultural Crossroads theme, and are to be submitted by May 31, 2012. The films can be an old project from a high school multi-media course or a project for a class this year. The project is open to any student, not just film students: “It is important to say that this is open to

all university students, whatever they’re studying. It can be business administration or anthropology or whatever they’re doing,” says Chassagne. “Everyone can produce something. Everyone has something to say about culture, and everyone has at least access to a smart phone that they can film with.” The World Filmmaker Project is new and aims to grow quickly in the future. “We hope that this project can grow in the next semesters and next years that will be closer to the interest of the students and the needs to the students, but this is the first step,” Chassagne says. “You have to start somewhere, and we hope to grow.” If they get enough submissions, RCI producers are already imagining other ways to launch the films to a broader audience, giving a second life to the project. “Maybe we will do a national project of some kind, something more than just putting them on the website,” says Chassagne. Because of the connection to RCI, the works have the possibility of being shown on their affiliate TV stations, museums, universities, and film festivals, among other outlets. A challenge has been extended to all students across the country to make their voices heard. With the ever-changing culture that we live in, the RCI producers are sure that there is a lot to say. For more information, visit the website at http://rcinet.ca/vision.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

// Thea Brulotte

German to select parts of Europe. RCI now broadcasts internationally in seven languages: English, French, Spanish, Russian, Mandarin, Arabic, and Portuguese. Boris Chassagne is an executive producer at RCI and has been working on the World Filmmakers project since 2009. He launched the RCI Vision website in June 2011 to function as an archive of other Canadian and international short films, as well as those produced by RCI. This year, they are inviting university and college students, and professors to participate and upload their own films to the website. The RCI Vision platform is dedicated to expressions of culture from Canada and around the globe, produced by both amateur and professional filmmakers. All of the films submitted will be showcased on the website. The project is open to various types of submissions: “You can use animation, you can have fiction, you can do a documentary, and you can have portraits. Whatever style works,” Chassagne says. The producers wanted to reach out to postsecondary students in particular because “there is so much talent at universities and colleges,” Chassagne says. “We know this because we see their work at film festivals around the world.” Chassagne thinks that a match between state radio and television and the schools is long-awaited. “I feel like this project is filling a gap, making a connection between the two,” he explains.

columns

E DIT ORS // Samant ha Thompson + Sarah Vit et // e di to r@ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Keepin’ it reel

2011 film retrospective

With Jonty Davies // Columnist

versally applauded by audiences and critics alike; it is the unequaled master of grand fantasy cinema. The Hobbit is where it all began, and we can expect this film rendition to be just as successful. The Dark Knight Rises – The final installment in Christopher Nolan’s Batman series, which has upped the very ante of what a superhero flick can be. Prometheus – It’s the Ridley Scott-directed prequel to Alien, starring Michael Fassenbender and Charlize Theron. Need I say more? The Amazing Spiderman – Don't call it a comeback, because Tobey Maguire shall not be coming back for this web slinging reboot. Though the Maguire franchise was highly lucrative and well received, The Amazing Spiderman is looking to rebuild the canon from scratch. Sounds sticky. The Avengers – Considering that every single superhero movie of the past few years (with the exception of the superlative Batman series) has been building up to The Avengers, expectations

“Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.” —Jon-Luc Godard

hough the characters portrayed in cinema live in worlds of manufactured illusion, the ideas they present to us are an integral reflection of who we are as humans. There is a world of fabulous cinema that is very much alive, and it’s important to consider how the overarching themes and tropes are influenced by our contemporary reality. These are thoughts I’d like to expand on, but with 2012 just upon us, I’ll use this introductory column to go over some of last year’s cinematic highlights and provide a look at the year ahead.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

Jonty’s Top 3 Films of 2011

3. The Tree Of Life – A galaxy explodes and life is created. In the eternity that follows, a life passes in an instant but will forever remain a piece of the giant puzzle. It’s a film that tries to visualize and speculate on the very nature of existence almost entirely without story or conventional dialogue. Clocking in at 139 minutes, The Tree Of Life features an overwhelming operatic score, dinosaurs, the creation of the Universe, and Pitt’s amazing hair. The film is a poetic masterpiece but almost collapses under the weight of its own ambition. Directed by the ultra-reclusive Terrence Malick, a man who’s had an almost 40-year career yet released just five films, each one a mind-blowing masterpiece, Tree Of Life is a beautiful meditation on our place in the universe. 2. Incendies – Though technically released in 2010, the success of this film (if only limited – $6 million total gross) was entirely due to its impressions on the 2011 festival circuit. Incendies is a brutally affecting film that is layered two-fold: it tells a woman’s story of survival in the violent religious disparity of the Middle

// Tyler Hughes East, while simultaneously following her two young-adult children as they try to find the father they’d never met and the brother they didn’t know they had. Incendies is delicate, yet it holds truths and secrets that are simply devastating. The film is Canadian, and though small in scale (compared to, say, The Tree of Life), it’s a beautiful and harrowing masterpiece that deserves acclaim for its tasteful and varied treatment of Middle Eastern horrors and for its powerful discourse on family. 1. Drive – Under mega-pastiche directing by Nicholas Winding Refn, Ryan Gosling kills it in one of the coolest roles ever. With clear nods to Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, and Clint Eastwood, Gosling plays a nameless getaway driver with a silent, brooding intensity. He has a tender heart but can instantly reveal dangerous depth. Drive also features a fantastic use of music that, while electronic and modern, serves to exemplify the classic homage nature of the film. Action box office is always big (Transformers 3 made $1.123 billion this year), but Drive was not as successful as it deserved to be, grossing $67 million total. The low success can be attributed to a failure in marketing: the trailers tried to sell it as a typical Fast and the Furious-type formula despite the fact that it’s actually a hyper-intelligent and very sensitive piece of cinema (in a fully nonsappy and still totally violent way). It’s brave, cool and features easily the most romantic scene ever that also happens to involve a head being crushed in an elevator. Maybe it seemed too brainy for the action crowd and too action-y for the brainy crowd, but the critical consensus was almost unanimously positive, and it’s absolutely a beautiful film. What to expect in 2012 … The Hobbit – Bringing in $3 billion worldwide, the Lord Of The Rings trilogy is the sixth-highest grossing film franchise of all time. Beyond dollars and cents, it claimed 17 Oscars and was uni-

are dazzlingly high. Expect the star-studded super-romp to aim for the bleachers. 2012: Year of the superhero? The Hunger Games – If you're up on young adult fiction you'll surely be aware of this mega-seller about teens being forced into armed combat by a malevolent government decree. If you're also into Japanese film/manga/fiction you might notice the glaring similarities to the fabulous Battle Royale. 2012: Year of the remake? (Also, Battle Royale is being remade for Hollywood sometime in the future. 2015: Year of the remade remake?) Overall, 2011 was a decent year for film, and 2012 is a nutcase hotbed of hype, so there is a lot to look forward to. It’s a good thing, after all, since this might be our last year ever. Jonty Davies, like most, is a pretty big fan of movies. His favorite genre according to Netflix is "visually striking dark dramas" but he loves a good "visually striking dark comedy" too. When not writing about films, he likes to make dark little ones of his own.

C o lu m n s LOVE, AWKWARDLY

Episode I: Rebirth I’ve hit up the gym and munched on salad every January for past countless years. But in reality, I’ve likely been more focused on hooking up with someone than actually becoming healthier. In ith each new calendar year, we see speaking of New Year’s and the shifts that come an opportunity to revitalize and re- in terms of love, I come to think of a New Year’s invent ourselves. The idea of a fresh Eve past and how it would ultimately change start brings with it an onslaught of personal goals, me forever. or “resolutions” as we’ve come to call them. We compile lists of itemized benchmarks we’d like to make, in order to improve our lives in terms of growth, ease, and comfort. As with any year, I’ve noticed a majority of people’s resolutions centred around one common goal: to attract a mate. It’s our primal instinct, so it makes sense that we as a human race would use this time of rejuvenation to pretty ourselves up and reel someone in: “I want to eat healthier, go to the gym, and dedicate more ‘me’ time.” The irony of all of these seemingly personal endeavours is that they are often simply a façade, and cover up the true reason, which is genuinely about making ourselves more desirable to possible partners. Physical relations and partnerships are aspects most of us seem to be looking for, and having New Year’s resolutions integrated within the search, even if it’s a subconscious choice, is a great gateway into giving in to our physical and // Lydia Fu romantic instincts. Two years ago, I wrapped up a column for the Courier divulging intimate details of my love life. I I was seeing a man by the name of Stephan have never had such an overwhelming response whom I met through an acquaintance. From to my writing, and I was always surprised when our first date, I had quite high hopes. Most of the people told me they’d never tell personal details guys I had seen at that point had somehow let like the ones I’d shared. Yet, the stories are all part me down or given me a bleak perspective on the of what makes me who I am today. With a co- archetypes of men: shallow business class, apalourful, sometimes hilarious, and often surprising thetic artists, too-busy-for-you academia devocornucopia of dating experiences in my midst, I tees. This one seemed different though; even am an entirely different person now than I was from our first date when he rented a car to drive even two years ago. me out to an abandoned barn in Langley to drink I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not removed $8 wine, I was charmed in the naïve way all my from the New Year’s resolutions I’m speaking of. friends had grown to worry about. “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling good.” —Nina Simone

With JJ Brewis // Columnist

This was at a point in my life when, despite how much I told myself I was comfortable being alone, I was still desperately clinging to the idealized concept of “having a man” – and it didn’t matter under what circumstances or opportunities it came about. I had come to overlook even the most obvious of faults, and began to blow off other valuable components of my life just to make more time for this new “romance.” The entire arc of my relationship with Stephan shows just how much I gave up of myself, and how every action I made was pivotal around this one aspect of my life. I’d spend time getting really dressed up on days I knew I’d see him, and rush my morning routine on other days because I thought it didn’t matter. I would forfeit my own interests, and, given that we were quite fundamentally different, I’d often end up at socialist documentary screenings rather than the indie art-house films I’m more in favour of. I began to overlook everything that I was compromising in myself because I had a man in my life. It’s a toxic scenario in retrospect, but many of us have been there. Why is that? Are we really able to accept partnership over personal satisfaction? Clearly I was, for this period in time. For New Year’s Eve, he told me that he had bought us two tickets to the Biltmore. Despite having pre-arranged plans with friends, I predictably bailed to spend the time with my relatively new beau. Horrible move. In a cinematic turn of events, the warm, generous man I thought I knew instantly became a satanic monster over the course of what was supposed to be my first “not shitty” New Year’s Eve. He drank more than his share, and the mean (or “honest”) drunk came out, and he started to badger me with insults throughout the night. Luckily some of my friends had ended up at the same party, but as I went to introduce him to one of my best friends, he raised his eyebrows and turned around, darting away. “What the fuck?” I thought.

The pity party began long before midnight. For someone who, despite his faults, had a reliable charm, this was a very dark side I hadn’t seen a glimmer of before. As the countdown to the New Year began, he slumped back over to me to stick his tongue down my throat before throwing up moments after, on my new shoes. Then he disappeared, and as the club started clearing out an hour later, I realized I had been left, intoxicated, miles from home on New Year’s Eve. To top it all off, I had left my bag at his house, with pre-arranged plans to stay over. My options limited, I trudged through the snow, cussing into my gloves to keep warm. When I finally arrived at his house, there he was, sprawled out fully naked on the couch; smoking the most poorly-rolled joint I’ve seen in my life. “Oh, sorry man,” he said, responding to the furious look on my face. “I forgot about ya.” And as I cabbed back to my home in New West, crying to my poor driver about my terrible night, in that moment, I sobered up. Not to alcohol, no; I’d go on to have one of the biggest binge years of my life. But in terms of sacrificing myself, and losing myself in the process, I realized that he had picked the most opportune moment to completely and utterly embarrass me and fuck me over. When I woke up the next day, I never made any official resolutions. But subconsciously, I realized exactly what part of me had changed, and it was long overdue. In the words of Drake, “I’m doin’ me.” And most of the time, that is quite literal. But being okay with that is a huge step. JJ Brewis is quite possibly the keenest member of our editorial staff. He has been writing columns on various topics for the Courier for three years, and is now revisiting his most successful theme: relationshps.

BUSINESS TIME

The profits of student franchises

business). In the end, I decided that both I and the painting franchise company were responsible. No question, if I had put in more 12 hour days instead of ten, or had been more skilled at selling painting jobs to prospects, I would have earned more. Having to pay out a quarter of my revenues to the franchise company certainly put me at a disadvantage, though. Similar to other franchises – like Dairy Queen or 7-Eleven – the painting parent company grants licenses to individuals to use their brand name and products in return for a cut of the revenues or profits. They also provide training and operate a nationwide call centre, which books painting estimates for franchisees. The franchise owner, however, does everything else. You’re responsible for advertising, selling, hiring, painting, and accounting – the same tasks that any other small business owner has to do. To put it simply – the franchise company provides the franchisee the framework to work within and then it’s really up to you to run your own business. Everything sounds good up to this point, but here’s the catch: the franchise company takes up to a quarter of your revenue. It’s important to point out that this is revenue, not profit. So even

if you break even on a job and have priced a job to cover your labor, paint and overhead costs, you are still on the hook to pay 25 per cent of your revenue to the franchise company. In effect, you have to charge every customer 25 per cent more than your competitors just to break even. Nobody wants to just break even on a job, though; you of course want to earn profit for yourself. Add to this the fact that the painters you hired are unskilled students, usually with no previous painting experience, and it’s a hard question to answer when customers ask why they should pay more for lower-skilled workers. With that said, though, the work experience is great. The training they provide is hands-on, and I feel like I learned more in my eight months running the painting business than I did in three years of university. For those of you who are thinking of opening a small business in the future, running a student painting business is a great introduction to entrepreneurship. Also, it is possible to make some good money doing it; you just have to be a little more skilled and determined than I was. However, if you’re only looking to create profit, you would better off just starting your own painting business without

// Columnist

the help of a franchise. This is particularly true if you already have painting experience and have friends or family that need their house painted (a great place to start building up your reputation and references). The bottom line is that while student-run painting businesses are not scams or pyramid schemes, they do take a lot of money from their franchisees. If you just want to make heaps of cash in the summer, there are easier ways than this to make money. If work experience and small-business training are more important to you, then running a small painting franchise might be a perfect match. If you are considering running one of these businesses, however, make sure you do your research first and thoughtfully weigh the pros and cons. Jeff Maertz is a fourth year student of the Capilano school of business with a focus on marketing. Over the next few months, he will touch on topics ranging from small businesses to examining the effect current events may have on students. He is aiming to make the business world accessible and relevant, regardless of their field of study.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

ith the promise of hefty profits and valuable experience, university students across North America have been flocking to manage student-run painting businesses for the past three decades. In theory, it’s a great business model where everybody wins: the home owner gets their house painted by charming young people, university students get above-average-paying jobs, and student business owners gain managerial experience. However, there’s more to the story than that. For two years, I worked as a painter for one of the large student-run painting businesses in North Vancouver. Hence I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into when, in the third year, I signed up to run my own painting business. At the end of the summer, though exhausted, I was satisfied with what I had learned, as it was the experience of running my own business that I’d done it for. Unfortunately, I only earned around $5,000 for eight months of hard work, which was well below what I’d anticipated. I had two options for placing my blame – I could either claim responsibility for not making as much money as I had hoped for, or blame the system that I was working within (the painting

WithJeff Maertz

Opinions

Edi tor // Marco Ferreira // o pi ni o ns @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Beyond Cruelty An overlooked argument for a meatless diet By Brittney Kroiss // writer

he occurrence of food shortages and malnutrition are increasing rapidly in our growing world, even more so with climate change. The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization reported that roughly 925 million people, 13.6 per cent of the world population, were “undernourished” in 2010. Out of the world’s population of 6.8 billion, only an estimated 2 billion people live predominantly on a meat-based diet. A United Nations report, put together by the UN Environment Program’s International Panel of Sustainable Resource Management, states that “eating less meat and dairy is necessary to avoid catastrophic effects of climate change, global hunger and energy shortages.” In our world facing overpopulation and overconsumption, food is at the top of our list of priorities when addressing sustainability. With all the talk out there as to what is really sustainable and what isn’t, it can be hard to determine what our best alternative is. Could a vegetarian or vegan diet be the answer? In a 2002 study, Cornell University’s Department of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology compared the amount of energy, land and water required to produce meat-based and plant-based diets. While neither diet is truly “sustainable” due to the food industry’s heavy dependence on fossil fuels, the plant-based diet was indeed much more sustainable. According to the study, for every 1 kg of good-quality animal protein produced, the livestock are fed on average about 6 kg of plant protein and required 100 times more water. “Environmental vegetarianism” is based on the indication that animal production, particularly by intensive agriculture, is environmentally unsustainable as it increases pollution and uses

a large amount of natural resources. Industrial monoculture, the harvesting of a large crop of a single food species, contributes to soil erosion, air pollution, excessive energy use, deforestation, loss of biodiversity, and climate change. According to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the UN’s report “Livestock’s Long Shadow”, the meat industry makes up about 18 per cent of global greenhouse gas emissions. Methane, which is 23 times more powerful than carbon dioxide, makes up a large portion of these emissions. Cows produce a comparable amount of methane as an average car per day. So given the state of our current meat industry, is the answer to stop eating meat altogether? Perhaps the answer lies in finding a balance between the two extremes by reducing our consumption of meat-based protein to a few times a week instead of every day and making more informed decisions when grocery shopping. One thing to keep in mind when it comes to the sustainability of plant-protein based diets is whether processed, soy-based “fake meat” products, such as “tofurky” or “vegan sausages”, are much better than meat. In an interview with foodandwine.com, Ashley Koff, a registered dietician in Los Angeles, said, “What we know about soy is that as you process it, you lose a lot of the benefits. Any soy-based fake meat product is incredibly processed, and you have to use chemicals to get the mock flavor.” The Swedish Institute for Food and Biotechnology found in a 2009 study that “while producing a plate of peas requires a fraction of the energy needed to produce the same number of calories of pork, the energy costs of a pea-burger and a pork chop are about equal.” Whether excluding meat or not, whole food diets are usually, if not always, a healthier and more sustainable option than processed products. Our individual decisions as to what we eat

// Kailey Patton on a daily basis, when looked at from a larger scale, make a huge impact on our planet. In the end, what one chooses as the best alternative, whether eating a vegetarian diet, or conscious

shopping for free-range, naturally-fed meat from local farms, is up to the individual. Regardless of which route one decides to take, some action is better than none at all.

Call occupied land what it is Postal decolonization proves there’s power in a name By Adam Gaudry

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

// The Martlet (University of Victoria)

ICTORIA (CUP) – Upon their arrival to Canada, the first thing most “explorers” did was start naming things. While many of these men simply named things after themselves or places back home, it did occur to some that these places already were named, so they attempted to anglicize these foreign place names. In the 19th century, the symbolic power of renaming the landscape was not lost on these new arrivals; the naming of the city of Victoria after the reigning monarch, Queen Victoria, implied laying claim to that land for the British Crown. Naming – or, more appropriately, renaming – was part of the process of colonization. A quick jaunt around Victoria reveals an abundance of colonial names intended to glorify the presence of early British settlers as well as British leaders and heroes who would never come here: Captain Cook was here briefly;

thus, we have Cook Street; Douglas Street was named after Vancouver Island Governor James Douglas. What is absent from all of these names is any acknowledgment that there was a history on Vancouver Island that goes back further than 200 years. While the odd plaque may make mention of something existing earlier than this, it always seems to historicize the presence of indigenous peoples and confine indigenous naming to the past. This geographical reordering has removed an indigenous presence from the landscape. It has rendered invisible the ancient and permanent relationship between indigenous peoples and their lands. One way to make that relationship visible again is through postal decolonization. Postal decolonization is the use of traditional indigenous place names on mail instead of the more recent names imported and invented by the new arrivals to this continent. Given that the postal system is the most everyday form of organizing space in

Canada, reimagining space in the postal system can also serve to decolonize space. The goal is to get people using the Canadian postal system to think about where they are and whose land they live on. Instead of Victoria, one can list the mailing address as “Occupied Coast Salish Territories” or just “Coast Salish Territories”. Instead of Edmonton, one can write “Cree Territory”; in place of Thunder Bay, “Anishinaabe Territory”. Doing this does not actually prevent your letter from arriving at its intended destination because the postal code is coded to identify a specific block in a city. By returning to traditional place names, we can take the power to name out of the hands of those who claimed this land as theirs alone. Returning to the original names shows proper respect for the people on whose land we live. It can also serve as an educational tool. I would encourage you to research where you live: start thinking of it as an ancient place with names that go back more than a few generations.

// Marco Ferreira

opinions

Relax, It’s not a big deal The faster you live, the sooner you die By Marco Ferreira // opinions editor

igh-stress shouldn't be an accepted mental state for students. It shouldn't be acceptable for anyone, as it comes with a myriad of health implications, some of them dangerous with long-term implications. As the Canadian unemployment rate rises and the job market gets shittier, most young people are guaranteed a hard climb to success, if success ever comes. So why do we keep at it? Is it worth it to juggle so many obligations at the expense of our personal lives? No, it isn't. To take advantage of an easier living situation, students still living with their parents are encouraged to take as many courses as possible, usually four or five. Because of high tuition fees, many students living at home also work a parttime job. For those who have moved out and are still attending college, the high cost of living in Vancouver makes financial assistance necessary. To receive a student loan you must be a full-time student. Being a full-time student constitutes taking a minimum of three classes. A student loan will cover tuition and some living expenses but not all, so a part-time job is still a must. Teachers normally assign about an hour of homework for

// JJ Brewis every hour of class time, so succeeding at school becomes a test of time management, one that affords little leeway for taking the night off to relax, let alone tending to other human needs. No matter how diligent a student you are, it's a natural progression for most of us to begin the term organized, slip-up, procrastinate, and end up having to flash-write essays or cram study in

Cab o o s e F e at u r e d F i c t i o n

Politics

the early hours of the morning. This stress will be, for many of us, the reality of the rest of our lives. Supposedly if you work hard enough in school, you'll get a good job that you like, affording you a comfortable, rewarding life as a young adult. However, if you like your job, odds are that you will want to hold on to it. A study released by the Toronto-based Centre for Addiction and Mental Health last year reported that those who were more invested in their work, especially those in managerial or professional positions, experienced higher levels of work stress. Adversely, the study showed that if you were under the age of 25, were a single male and worked in a small business, your stress levels were lower. There are few university degree programs that promise an illustrious career as a retail clerk at a mom and pop shop, however this seems to be a healthier way to live. The less we do, the more time we are afforded to find out who we really are. If time is not set aside to discover yourself, your life is simply toiled away doing what other people want you to do, rather than what is right for you and makes you happy. This isn't as much a rally against the confines of society, but more a criticism of the pace at which we encourage each other to live away what little time we have.

Proven health symptoms associated with stress

➽ Physical symptoms include headaches; muscle tension or other physical pain or discomfort; stomach problems or nausea, diarrhea or vomiting; loss of sex drive; rapid heart rate; high blood pressure; and fatigue.

➽ Cognitive symptoms include difficulty concentrating or thinking, memory problems, negativity or lack of self-confidence, constant worry and difficulty making decisions. ➽ Emotional symptoms include moodiness; low morale; irritability; feeling hopeless or helpless; feeling apprehensive, anxious or nervous; feeling depressed, unhappy or guilty; and feeling agitated and unable to relax. Stress can also trigger manic depression and other mental illness. ➽ Behavioural symptoms include changes in eating or sleeping patterns; social withdrawal; nervous habits such as nail biting, teeth grinding or foot tapping; increased use of caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol or other drugs; and neglecting family or work responsibilities, or experiencing a decline in performance or productivity. Source: the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health

Edi tor // c abo o s e . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

Very Difficult courier Hangman

By Mohammad Reza Ahmari Is the boundary of politics reverend? Just the question of government. Just the protract of heretics within an encompassed union of infidel preference. As due representation of we as people by MPs, MLAs. Preferred the anelope of confederate society. Equal representation of all. This preferred as the request for a joint union of people within a collaborative. Do we as people have a say. Empower us.

With JJ Brewis

REGIFTING Break hearts, not piggy banks

MERDE French for Spielberg

“SHAME” Even the dick couldn’t save it

STEAMPUNK WEDDINGS Niche cake stores rejoice

FOSTER THE PEOPLE Inaccurate

PALM BAY Ten cool points Smirnoff Ice

OCCUPY Gesundheit

BED BUGS Like the lovechild of ‘crabs’ and ‘minimalists’

TINTIN What part of “Hergé” did you not read as FRENCH, Spielberg?

DO ME A PROPER and never, ever use this phrase again. // Sarah Vitet

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

The Haute Chart

Caboose

n u g t o ! s Sh w e i Rev

Must-See films

STAR WARS JJ Brewis

THE LORD OF THE RINGS Samantha Thompson

Scarface Mike Bastien

Freaky Friday Jonty Davies

I saw this for the first time last week. Everyone made such a big deal over the fact that I had not seen this so I ponied up the big bucks and headed over to my bff Giles’ place to see the original unfucked-with masterpiece. You know, the version only available on dusty old VHS tapes, because any DVD version includes shit George Lucas added during the 90s, such as the robo-bride attempting at hetero-ing the ultra gay C3P0 from R2D2’s homo frenzy. Dumb. Anyway, I didn’t like this. I LOVED it. Why didn’t anyone tell me how HOT Harrison Ford was before he got wrinkles and married Ally McBeal? Shit! I wanted to rip off his sassy little vest and unleash his light sabre! The movie, however, seemed to have major continuity problems. Such as why the fuck Princess Leia didn’t use her wizard powers to escape back to Planet Half Attractive. Or why people pretend Yoda is in this movie when he was actually just the grandfather from Gremlins 2. Whatever. May the force be with me!

This movie is so popular. People dress up all the time as these little hobbits, which are really unattractive, hairy little men. I’ve heard that these books/movies invented the fantasy genre, but I definitely don’t believe that shit. Everyone knows that Harry Potter is where it’s at – it has romance, wand fights, and the ultimate battle between good and evil. Lord of the Rings, I assume, is about a bunch of little people wandering around a very large piece of land for three hours, trying to find the Lord. Of the Rings? Wtf? I AM THE LORD OF JEWELLERY! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! The day I decided to watch LOTR was a very sad day indeed. I laughed, and I cried. Then I accidentally called Dumbledore Gandalf, and my life was over.

This movie is a classic tale of tragedy, acceptance, and betrayal. Our protagonist is Tony Montana, portrayed by Michael Bolton. At a young age, Tony's face was terribly scarred after a hockey incident, causing his team to lose. Physically disfigured and in emotional ruin, he leaves his native land of oppressed Cuba for the wild city of Miami. In this zany fish out of water epic, Tony has to find a new job while dealing with everyone judging him because his face is different. My favourite scene is when Tony's little friend, Elvira, played by Dakota Fanning, teaches him that he is beautiful on the inside. The soundtrack by Phil Collins really gives you a sense of wonder and triumph when Tony first discovers Coke. In the end, Tony buys a really nice suit to distract people from his face. He then becomes the president of Coke and is enjoying his hard earned life until Pepsi sends in a swat team to kill Tony and his new friends.

First there was Friday, then there was Next Friday and there was even Friday After Next, but this summer things take a chilling twist. You thought it was all good in the ‘hood. You thought it was safe to spark it up. You thought wrong. Today’s Not Gonna Be a Good Day as Ice Cube fights for his life in the face of unspeakable horror, as the very foundations of South Central LA are challenged by a force so purely evil that one dare not speak its name. Also starring Rebecca Black, it just might be the last Friday of all. Straight Outta Compton? Straight Outta Hell!

Disney Crossword!

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 13

By Samantha Thompson (duh)*

* Bring the completed crossword to Maple 122 on January 20th at 1 pm to win a prize!